Don't Fight the Dip!

Happy National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day! Earl and Barbara would like to offer you some homemade cheese sandwiches. Make sure you unwrap the cheese before you bite into them, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the original airdate of "The New Kid" in 1998. Can I offer you some gum to go with that cheese sandwich?

Fanfic Update!

• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 4): "The rest of the short journey passed in silence and then, when Charles turned down the private road leading to his house, he said, 'Here we are.' Jane gasped. Charles' house was a beautiful villa in colonial style with an enormous garden studied in minute detail."


• Daria and Jane: On Why There Aren't Any 'Daria as a Black Girl' Fanfics (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'So Daria, I've been going through some old Iron Chefs and I've noticed that any that involve you being born black or interracial don't seem to gain much traction.'"


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 4): "As Elsie drove them home after they had spent a good three hours celebrating the start of summer with the 'Cool Townies' (as Elsie and Tom had christened them), Darius's phone blew up."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 18d): "'That sales technique of yours turned out to be surprisingly effective', said Rod, who'd been watching with interest. 'It was a mistake.' 'You impressed me', said Tierney, who'd woken up some time earlier. 'Thanks.' The expression on her face made Dylan feel uncomfortable."


• Getting Back Together (In the most ass backwards way possible) (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh goodie the pizza's here!' Timothy O'Neill cheered as the doorbell rang. As he headed to the door he did feel another stab of sadness, after all it had only been a month since Janet had died."


• God Save the Sexy Esteem (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "After being driven in the worlds only punked out station wagon, Daria waited for a second to let Killer have her fun before stepping out of the car, and planting the sick idea that they hadn't moved at all in her father's head." (Part 2)


• Inner Universe, by malakite (part 7): "Jane, as usual, sat alone in the cafeteria eating her unusually meager lunch. She spoke with a clear and amused tone to her sandwich 'So, now Kevin's my lab partner.Next best thing to working alone.' No one else gave this even the slightest attention."


• Irony Maiden 01, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "A groggy voice then came from the bed. 'Why are you telling me the surf conditions Amy if you know I don't do surf?' Everyone who then heard the answer would no longer believe the voice to be something as mundane as an alarm." (Part 3)


• Judicium (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So how did a good-ol' boy like you wind up in a place like this?' Daria asked of the guy in the ten-gallon cowboy hat."


• Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 3): "Daria and Jane came within range just in time to hear Quinn Morgendorffer scream, 'Dammit Evan! You got too close to me with your Nut World smell. I'm allergic to pistachio dye and now I'm breaking out! My life is over!'"


• LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "For Daria, being Deaf had never particularly troubled her."


• More Sick, And Not as Much Sad (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck raised the whip into the air and brought it down on Daria's naked back. She screamed as the flesh tore off her body. Without avail, she tried to struggle out of her bonds: a set of old stockades."


• Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 3): "Even though Ronnie had been honest in his Atheism to her from the get go, Scarlett had decided she was comfortable enough with him to invite him to join her during one of her Wiccan rituals."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by percussivemaintenance (COMPLETE!): "Jane: Hey Daria. Daria: Yeah Jane? Jane: Where did you say you used to live before you moved here to Maryland? Daria: Texas. Why?"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (parts 6 and 7): "The next morning Victor woke up with a very hazy memory and after checking his room and seeing that Danny and Jesse weren't present, tried to remember the details. But it was simply too hazy." (Part 7)


• When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (part 1): "She studied the papers another time. They painted a story shrouded in mystery: something was striking the heart of suburbia, and perhaps the hearts of its residents."