Honest Andrea

Andrea looks very statuesque (get it?) for the anniversary of the dedication of the Lincoln Memorial in 1922. Perhaps to celebrate, Jodie can finish telling Brittany "all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died."

A more pleasant proposition, however, would be Water a Flower Day. It might be a good idea to water the Tommy Memorial Crutch, too, because if that thing goes then you just know Tommy Sherman will come back to haunt the girls' restroom again.

Does anyone feel like joining Daria in ordering either a steak or a stake? If so, then I have good news because it's Joan of Arc's feast day, or the anniversary of the day she was executed in 1431.

It's Double Bro Seven!

Mack is shaken, not stirred, because James Bond creator Ian Fleming was born on this day in 1908. Upchuck should be the most interested, though, as a canon fan of the fictional spy. Daria might take the opportunity to write a new Melody Powers story, since the character clearly took quite a bit of inspiration from James Bond, as well.

After she's done writing, Daria might also enjoy a tasty snack to celebrate National Hamburger Day, although it's her call whether she chooses to eat it or "stick it in my boots 'cause I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes." Jane could join her if she feels up to taking on another two (or even five) jumbo burgers without feeling a thing.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Life in the Past Lane" first aired. Although the episode has some high points, like Stacy scoring a win over Sandy and Barch melting down during Upchuck's magic act, it will most likely always be best known as the only appearance of the loathsome Nathan.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 9 and 10): "'Hey, Daria!' Daria looked up to look Jane in the eyes as she was hailed by her best friend as Jane opened her front door before Daria had fully reached it – certainly nearly unique." (Part 10)


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The figure had light. SpiderGirl and Ninja Talon also had flashlights. The first pipe was easy, as it was mostly dry, but they noticed that there was more water as they continued towards the creek."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "Jane was relieved when Caroline sat on Daria's other side instead of next to or across from her. She was less than relieved to hear Caroline grilling Daria as if she was Jane."

I Vant to Drink Your Diet Soda!

We all knew Sandi was an emotional vampire, but today she's an actual vampire in honor of World Dracula Day! She could take the opportunity to read the book by Brad--I mean, Bram--Stoker about the internationally known celebrity vampire...but I don't think she'd enjoy it because it's longer than any issue of Waif magazine.

I'm sure she'd rather read any book than celebrate World Red Head Day, though, because two of her least favorite people have red hair: Upchuck and Quinn. Good thing her brothers have brown and blond hair, or else she'd have an even stronger reason to hate gingers.

"Big" Jake should know that today is the anniversary of John Wayne's birth in 1907, as he is clearly a big fan of the late actor. He could take some time to admire his Rio Bravo, Rio Lobo, and Rio Grande John Wayne collectable coins--as long as they don't accidentally slip down the garbage disposal without any provocation.

Fandom News!

• wingzero shares a video with a warning about the private equity bubble.

Long Live the Jake!

Jake is definitely not amused to be celebrating the anniversary of Queen Victoria's birth in 1819. Perhaps he's thinking about how difficult it would be to rule an entire empire singlehandedly, or maybe he's just thinking about what Mad Dog would say if he saw him right now.

However, today is not the day to fret about abusive fathers, because it's National Brother's Day and we should be thinking about male siblings! Jake never mentioned any siblings of either gender, but Jane could wish Trent a good day...if she's able to wake him up, anyway.

Daria, not having a brother, could instead choose to observe World Schizophrenia Day by re-reading the poetry in her closet, scratched with a key by the schizophrenic former inhabitant of her room. Beats Quinn's "Greasy Fry" poem, at least.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "As far as Daria was concerned, one positive aspect of Quinn's injuries was that her parents had to cancel a couples' intimacy Saturday night get together."


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 8): "The birds were singing, the brook was rushing, and life was rolling on by. Such a sweet morning to do absolutely nothing… except probably reconnecting with nature like Thoreau wanted."


• The World in All Its Wonders Has Nothing Like the Wonder of You, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "The first time she says it, really says it instead of letting the words spill out the side of her head, is after dinner with the Morgendorffers."

Grade School, My Dear Watson!

Kevin is wishing us a very happy Sherlock Holmes Day, although aside from being fictional he has absolutely nothing in common with the brilliant consulting detective. I guess you could argue that people often found it difficult to follow their thought processes...but for widely different reasons.

It's also the anniversary of Sir Laurence Olivier's birth on this day in 1907, and it's worth noting that the actor played Professor Moriarty opposite Nicol Williamson as Sherlock Holmes in The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. It's also worth noting that Jamie White's acting was once compared to this great actor by Daria: "Laurence Olivier, in his present state, couldn't have done better."

I hope Andrea knows that today is World Goth Day, although I doubt she'd care. It's not like goths need a special occasion, after all. Still, she could take the opportunity to share some of her poetry, if everyone has the stomach for it.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., George Wendt.

Let Me Know When It's Be a Billionaire Day

Tom is finding it incredibly easy to celebrate Be a Millionaire Day, but the rest of us might find it a bit more difficult. Still, if anyone would like to chip in and help me observe the holiday, I'll be happy to accept any donations!

I hope that Daria doesn't choose today to take another road trip in The Tank, because it's National Stop Nausea Day and traveling along a bumpy road in a poorly-maintained van will not be helpful in celebrating. Just remember that dry toast and tea can help but sitting on an ancient peanut butter sandwich will not.

Still, better to suffer from nausea than to get stung by a bee again, even if it is World Bee Day. I'd far rather they make honey and pollinate plants than sting anyone, and I'm sure the bees feel much the same way.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria in "The Gap", by SisterCatherine (part 2): "A stage with a single glaring spotlight. Daria stepped forward, her eyes adjusting to the light."


• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (part 3): "Daria found the next week to be mostly frustrating."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 2): "'What?' Helen asked, 'Get back down, now!' Helen hissed."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 16): "Back at the Library, Janara had found something. 'There are some matches here.'"


• Nicole Gets Trumped, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim were in the living room watching TV while the triplets were upstairs doing homework. Actually, most likely only Teddy was doing homework while Tommy and Timmy play video games."


• Unnamed story (The 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane’s worst nightmare had come true. No, it was worse than that. What happened was something that Tom could never imagine in even his darkest thoughts."


• The World in All Its Wonders Has Nothing Like the Wonder of You, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "The third time she thinks about saying it, the Lane family bathroom has been turned into a makeshift ER. Okay, maybe ER is a bit dramatic, but there’s a pencil sticking out of Jane’s palm."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Peterson then entered the café in plain clothes and saw the partners. 'Just the people I want to see,' she said."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 4): "Tom couldn't believe how the driving gods smiled on him. Here he was, in Boston, with three hours to spare."

And Nathan Thought HIS Style was Retro!

Jane is clearly taking a unique route to celebrating Mother Whistler Day, but she really seems more the type to create art than to pose for it. Perhaps this is some kind of thought-provoking performance piece?

I hope Whistler's stepmother doesn't feel out, because it's also Stepmother's Day! Ashley-Amber (or is it Amber-Ashley?) could celebrate by taking Brittany shopping with Steve's credit cards.

In fact, why not celebrate every member of your family with Visit Your Relatives Day? I can think of a few Daria relatives that people should really steer clear of, though.

He Cried All the Way to the Bank...Because He Had No Money to Deposit

Mr. DeMartino is having a great time as Liberace for the anniversary of the late entertainer's birth in 1919, but who knew he could play piano? I mean, we know that he can cook (when he has money for food), play hockey, and do 400 upside-down sit-ups in a row, so this is clearly a man of many talents.

I'm sure Daria and Jane will be happy to celebrate National Pizza Party Day, but I don't see how this would differ from any other day. I suspect that they'll either ignore the "party" aspect or redefine it to refer to a gathering of two people and no one else.

On the other hand, maybe Daria will celebrate National Piercing Day by getting her belly button re-perforated. I sincerely doubt it, though, and even if she decided to do it there is almost zero chance that she'd go to Axl's parlor to do so.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 7): "Daria briefly engaged with that same strange dream she kept returning to before waking up once more."


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 10): "It was nearing a quarter to seven and despite the fact that she’d been repeatedly telling herself that it’s only a football date, Katie found herself fidgeting."


• Nicole Gets Trumped, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn was in the office of the restaurant that she co-owns with her husband Jim, his uncle Vito and Vito's wife Lizzy. Today was her turn to be on site. She was going over some paperwork when there was a knock on the door." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Across the cafeteria, Quinn joined Stacy, Tori and Tiffany. 'Have you found out anything else?' Tori asked."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "On the whiteboard outside her room, Jane saw, 'Went to J's place for the weekend. Back Sunday night. - S' She breathed a sigh of relief and unlocked the door. One less thing to explain."

Yo Quiero Designer Clothes!

Quinn appears to be embracing her inner...female dog...because it's International Chihuahua Appreciation Day. Most of the chihuahuas I've met have been tiny balls of rage, but I will do my best to appreciate them. From a safe distance.

If you're interested in hellbeasts, though, then you'll be pleased to know that today is the (approximate) anniversary of the birth of Dante Alighieri in 1265. He was the author of The Inferno, referenced in Is It Fall Yet? and the inspiration for the game "Daria's Inferno."

Finally, it was on this day in 1804 that Lewis and Clark set out on their famous expedition, intended to explore President Jefferson's recent Louisiana Purchase, a massive splurge worthy of any member of the Fashion Club. This expansion was a major driver of Manifest Destiny, in which people (not including many Mexicans) claimed it was God's will for the U.S. to expand all the way to the Pacific Ocean.

Fandom News!

• Are Monique and the Harpies likely to be a Zon band?

I Guess There are Worse Days to be Eternally Stuck In

It's May 12th, an important day for the Morgendorffer household because the page-a-day calendar in their kitchen inexplicably always seems to be on that day. I don't know why; it could be some kind of Groundhog Day scenario or maybe they're just too lazy to change it. Either is equally possible.

Good news for history teachers named DeMartino, because it's also National Anthony Day! Sadly, the holiday doesn't come with any cash, gifts, or time off from teaching, so I don't suppose he'll be particularly amused.

Elsewhere in the high school, someone should wish the never-seen Nurse Chase a happy International Nurses Day while she's collecting voluntary urine samples from the students. Just don't ask her to look at that weird rash on your neck.

Fanfic Update!

• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 16): " I’ve been stuck in a loop These past few days that the heat has risen And I close my curtains during the day, in order to block any speck of heat and light from coming in I’ve been relieving the exact same day I’m stuck in my bed"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 9): "Katie wasn’t able to get back to Wesley until the following morning. School let out shortly after PE and he’d gotten his stuff and left by the time she got to her locker to pick up her textbooks."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 2): "When they awoke, Jane saw Daria's black hair was wavy from sleep. She never realized how much it softened her face. Maybe she could try wearing it like that more often. Maybe she could do some other things too."

This Should Throw Don Quixote for a Loop!

Brittany has undergone a massive transformation for Windmill Day, and I think she's going to be very upset when she realizes she can't hold her pom-poms anymore. Kevin will be even more upset when he sees the relatively small size of Brittany's...windows.

If Daria or Quinn need some extra cash, they could call up the Gupty parents because it's National Babysitters Day! On the other hand, I don't think anyone needs money that badly.

Instead, Daria and Jane could settle in for another Sick, Sad World marathon in honor of Stay Up All Night Day. Staying up all night is also Trent's preferred method of dealing with an early morning wake-up, but we all know how well that turns out in the end.

Jane Should Give Back that Bonus Sock

Daria is apparently celebrating the exact opposite of No Socks Day by wearing socks but no shoes (or boots, in this case). Considering her contrarian nature, this is an entirely predictable act on her part.

In world history news, today is V-E Day, or the anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe in 1945. As far as this relates to Daria, according to Mr. DeMartino all of his teaching supplies were manufactured prior to this date. Given Ms. Li's financial priorities, I don't think that's nearly as much as an exaggeration as you'd expect.

I'm saving the best for last, though, because it's National Give Someone a Cupcake Day and who wouldn't enjoy a sweet treat? Unless they're the "heart-smart" lima bean cupcakes Helen baked in "Jake of Hearts," that is.

Fanfic Update!

• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 13): "'Which was?' Quinn asked quietly. 'Like, I was sensing something,' Stacy answered."


• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 15): "i hate heat I hate it hate I hate it so much"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "Katie walked up to the entrance of Lawndale High and got in line to go inside. My second week at Lawndale High, she thought. Here goes."


• The Muliebrity, by janendaria4life (part 5): "About three days later Helen walked into the living room only to find Daria laying on the couch, arms over her chest. Sapped. Bags under her eyes."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'So, where are you headed?' Daria asked. 'I could drive you?' 'The Historia at first,' Anna answered. 'Apparently, SpiderGirl is often on the roof.'"


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 1): "Jane wiped the back of her hand against her sweaty forehead as she and Daria crossed the lush green lawns of Raft. 'What I don't understand is why I need to come to your extra credit session.'"

The Most Infamous Blimp in the World

I see that Daria has chosen to observe a moment of...something in honor of the Hindenburg, which exploded on this day in 1937. In addition to Daria's locker homage, the disaster was also referenced in "I Loathe a Parade" in an exchange between Tom and Daria:

Tom: It's like the Hindenburg.

Daria: Oh, the lack of humanity.

There's good news, however, for the staff at Lawndale High School because it's National Teacher’s Day! Of course, that doesn't make up for the lousy pay and the frustrating students and the corrupt principal, but...well, at least they get a special day to be miserable during?

I think it might be a good idea for them to celebrate Beverage Day, especially if the beverage in question is alcoholic. Jake's probably already way ahead of him with a martini, and Helen's drink of choice is most likely coffee in spite of Quinn's protests.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Ruth Buzzi and Jill Sobule.

Just Keep Jake Away from the Paper Towels!

Trent is ready to fight any fires that show up on International Firefighters Day, as long as those fires start before he falls asleep and are extinguished before he comes up with some song lyrics that he needs to write down. If he could just remember not to build any fires in the rooms that don't have fireplaces, Jane will probably be satisfied with his work.

If you'd like to celebrate Bird Day by getting yourself a new pet, be sure to get to Mr. Matthews's pet store before Quinn tries to feed them and loses one. On the other hand, you might be able to get a free canary if you check the mall's air filtration system later on.

May the Fourth be with you on Star Wars Day, or at least with those of you who are Star Wars geeks. There are a surprising number of Daria/Star Wars crossovers out there, considering the difference between the two, but that's fanfic for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Blur of the Night, by Captain_Morgan93 (COMPLETE!): "The sky over Lawndale was a sullen slab of gray, the kind of Saturday afternoon that made you want to crawl back into bed with a book and a grudge against the world."


• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The light, a cool, misty grey, filtered through the windows of the grease trap Daria and Jane had parked themselves at on Friday afternoon."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "'Temperatures are continuing to drop,' Janel said. That definitely wasn't good."


• Make It Tolerable, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "'How can you stand this place?!' 'Um, ‘cause I’m one of the guards instead of the prisoners?'"


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up from what she was confident had to be the worst nap ever. It felt like she’d been ripped from the arms of the Sandman with an air raid siren."

"Goo, goo!"

Although Evan Landon is just adorable, he isn't eligible to celebrate Baby Day because the kid would be almost thirty by now. Future Quinn's youngest from Daria's story in "Write Where It Hurts" might qualify, though, and there might even be more if she never got around to having her tubes tied.

The good news is that Evan is also celebrating National No Pants Day, or at least he is in the photo. I'm hoping that present day Evan is, in fact, wearing pants. Unlike Jake and Trent during "Daria!," where apparently pants were optional in spite of the hurricane.

Finally, it was on this day in 1863 that "Stonewall" Jackson was shot by friendly fire, but history does not relate whether or not the shots were retribution for his Johnnycakes.