The Eccentric and the Queen

I don't think Tom/Howard Hughes is in any condition to recreate Howard Hughes's famous flight on the Spruce Goose on this day in 1947. Although, maybe if he trims those fingernails....

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Marie Antoinette in 1755. Her story may have had a tragic end, but her legend will live on in--ahem--champagne glasses.

And if you live in the United States and haven't done so already, please VOTE tomorrow!

Fanfic Update!

• Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 12): "It was after lights out. Jane was about to drift off when she heard Daria’s voice from the bunk above her."


• Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Harkness! UNIT and I definitely need your help,' the Doctor said."


• Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 7 - 9): "Daria sat in her apartment typing on her computer. In the previous few months she'd fully established herself as a New Yorker. She was doing well at her job." (Part 8) (Part 9)


• Missing You (IC: Make a Daria Character a Killer), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "It had been five years since Daria disappeared one night in Boston. She’d been in her way home from work to her and Janes apartment but she never made it."


• Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Iris Johansen was down in her basement. She got the thing she wanted. And started up. There was no ring of the doorbell. There was certainly no one at her step selling chocolates..."

No Signal? Now That's Roughing It!

Happy birthday to both Laura Ingalls Wilder and Charles Dickens, born on this day in 1867 and 1812. Both inspired at least one throwaway line in the series each, with Jane's reference to "little hell on the prairie" in "Camp Fear" (a reference to Wilder's Little House on the Prairie series) and Daria's "God bless us, every one" in "Depth Takes a Holiday" (quoted from Dickens's "A Christmas Carol").

Helen is doing her best to emulate a pioneer like in Little House on the Prairie, but I'm sure she's completely lost without her cell phone.

Fanfic Update!

• Barch Nemesis (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The bartender set the glass down in front of Jake, giving the silently-fuming man a sympathetic look before moving on to the next customer, a short brunette with a permanent scowl on her face. She looked familiar, but Jake was too busy struggling with his own demons to pay much attention."


• Barch's Experiment (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria walked into Janet Barch's Science Room. After classes had officially ended. Normally they wouldn't be caught sane doing such a thing. But this wasn't the normal way of doing things."


• Burn, Baby, Burn (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "O'Neill's cass lol umpatentely slummed deir desksss ass dey wained dor deir teacheror."


• A Conversation.... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "O'NEILL: I would like to talk with you about your latest story, Love Gone Wrong. DISAAC: Why? O'NEILL: It kind of disturbing. It has me as a..... DISAAC: A Molester. Yes."


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 3): "Daria then took the podium. In bored tones she began to speak. 'No one can battle a terrible problem like low self-esteem on their own. It takes good coaching...' She stopped for a moment before giving a massive yawn. 'Sorry, I'm not good at faking that I care, or reading out loud meaningless buzzwords to make a certain teacher feel self-important.'"


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (part 5): "There was a teenage girl at the door. She had long red hair - I suspected hair extensions - and was wearing a little pink T-shirt and skinny leg jeans that showed off what she had quite nicely. If your eyes were drawn to boob level - and given the bare-midriff shirt, they soon would be - the shirt had a little logo of a smiley face with a halo. 'Hi!' she chirped. 'I'm selling long distance phone cards!'"


• The Divine Cynic, by PrecambrianStudios (part 3): "Daria inquired, 'So, what weapon do you use? A paintbrush?' Without looking at her, Jane reached into her jacket pocket and procured just that. Daria said, 'Why am I not AH!' The paintbrush suddenly transformed into a scimitar. The blade was several feet long and its razor-sharp point seemed to give off a deadly hum. 'I call it Wit. Because it's so sharp.'"


• Finders Keepers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "She sat paralyzed in the chair as he limbered toward her, knife in hand."


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Days past and it was not a good time to live in Lawndale. Police had a hard time keeping the criminals under control and Jane was getting angry about how they had yet to do anything, but held her tongue."


• Heroes and Villains Part Two: Queen Sandi, by Reven384 (part 1): "Sandi said, 'Anyone else got any bright ideas. Stay loyal and you'll be kings. Betray me,' she stabbed the corpse with her bone sword a couple more times, 'Well you get the picture. As you can see. I can't die. I'm a goddess. Stick with me and you'll go far.'"


• Life Imitates Art (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman descended into his cheerful chiding of Daria as his appearance at the football game awaited."


• The Line-Up (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Trent set the needle on the record as he popped the DVD into the disc drive. 'So Janey,' he exhaled, 'let me get this straight. If you play Dark Side and The Wizard of Oz at the same time, they line up?'"


• The Lost Girls – Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Val as in 'Val' became a fan of Lawndale"


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 15): "If Daria had thought that her last return to Lawndale High was a March of Triumph, it didn't even compare to coming to school in a shiny red new (looking) red Infiniti with the top down."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Finds a Cure for Da Blues! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Poor Nurse Goodnsexy was in a funk. Oh sure, her work in curing the many ills of the good men of Lawndale (and Oakwood, and Fielding Prep, and a whole bunch of other places) was fun and all but... There was something missing now."



• Rapture (Iron Chef: The Convert), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "In the distance toward the town center she saw what she at first took to be a flock of large birds ascending toward the burgeoning clouds now covering half the sky. She then stood stock still for several minutes blinking rapidly and swallowing hard trying to maintain control of herself. Her knees started to tremble and her breakfast threatened to make a reappearance as she realized exactly what she was looking at."


• Requisite untitled AU Book I: Past, by mac (part 7): "Jake Morgendorffer paced around his living room. He checked his watch. He looked at the stairs to see if his daughter had appeared (she hadn't). He looked out the small window above the front door. He looked at his watch; only thirty seconds had passed since the last time. Stairs; still no Daria. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door."


• Sexy Daria: Sexy Runaway, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Breakfast time in the Morgendorffer house the next morning was a silent affair. That could be chalked up to the fact that Jake Morgendorffer was nursing a major hangover, Quinn didn't feel like talking, and now Daria and Helen were M.I.A."


• The Tomb: An Adventure Story, by peetz5050 (part 1): "After several steps the lodestone shot out to the right. That was the first stone. She stepped forward, the lodestone dropped, forward again, there it was, the second stone, just as Willoughby had promised. The one in between therefore, was the gateway. 'Are you sure about this Daria? The Irish are gonna go ballistic when they find out you're desecrating a national monument.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The burly oxen in the Polk High football uniform looked up from his pizza and glared across the length of several tables as Daria looked up and accidentally made eye contact."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Demon-Something (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman strutted down the hall, the very image of a conceited, absolutely-totally not washed up ex-football star for a moderately successful high school team."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The signal was two knocks and then a rapid knock-knock-knock. Upchuck felt for the door handle, and, noting that the door was unlocked, walked in and quietly closed the door behind him. Daria smirked. Tom tried not to laugh. It only took about twenty seconds. 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the Headmistresses office of Hogwarts, one Daria Percivella Wulfurica Brianna Dumbledore was justifying making Harry Potter's life a living nightmare so he would be in the right state of mind when it came time for him to die for the Wizarding World."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jake watched his little kiddo stumble out of the downstairs bathroom, she was walking a bit bowel-legged, which would have raised warning flags in anyone else."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Can't believe I got forced into this.' Daria griped, striding firmly down Lawndale Junior High's hallways. 'This' happened to be the mentoring program LJH ran."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As Daria read 'The Writer's Guide to Making Your Audience Vomit,' by Stephanie Meyer, Quinn suddenly emerged from the bathroom with a pair of testicles attached to her chin."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "They froze. Daria checked their surroundings. 'Where the hell did THAT come from?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Strapped down to a chair in a darkened room, Kevin screamed as he felt his crotch being gripped by an iron hand."

Tutors Just Wanna Have Fun!

Happy birthday to both Carson Daly and Cyndi Lauper, born on this day in 1973 and 1953. Both have their connections to fandom, too: Carson Daly voiced the long-suffering tutor David Sorenson in Is It Fall Yet? while Cyndi Lauper's hit "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was given an entirely new meaning thanks to Metal Mouth in the episode "Legends of the Mall."

Today is also National Chocolate Eclair Day, which I figure is important enough to mention just because it's chocolate eclairs, people. Still, if you really need to connect it to fandom, how about The Angst Guy's fanfic "Feeding Frenzy"? Enjoy!

Fanfic Update!

• All Is Well That Ends... Alright? (IC: Jake without Mad Dog), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Jake, you’re getting home later than you usually are.' 'I was talking to my lawyer...'"


• Anthony, Sometimes (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Hello Anthony.' My heart nearly stops when I see a man who looks like me sat on my couch. He doesn't just look like me, he is me. Me in a well cut black suit and a blood red tie."


• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 8): "'Lions...tigers...bears. Oh my. Thinking about what you want?' 'Sort of,' I admitted. I glanced back a seat, where Jodie was talking with Quinn about fashion just to keep her calm. 'This is so weird, isn’t it? I keep trying to decide what animal I want to turn into, then stop and realize what the hell, I’m trying to decide what animal I want to turn into?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 11), by oni (COMPLETE!): "As Linda came up to them, one of the officers asked, 'And you are?' 'Linda Griffin,' she replied. Brooke’s parents looked over recognizing her but didn’t say anything. Between what happened in the yard within the last five minutes and what happened with the attack on Sandi’s daughter a couple of days ago, no words could make up for their daughter’s actions."


• Blissful Sleep (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Angier,' Kay Sloane called out as she entered the darkened bedroom, 'The DNA test came back and it turns out that Tom... is... your... son...' she trailed off after she found the light switch and then everything shut down at the horrific sight before her." (Part 2)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 43): "'So far, you’ve received a ton of compliments.' Said Tilly. 'Why not dress up a little?' 'Because this isn’t me.' Said Daria. 'I just felt like a change for today.' She looked down at herself, and then turned to Jane. 'Did you even know I had boobs?' Jane about choked on her pizza. 'What?'"


• Daria M meet Daria H, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "The short haired Daria shook her head with sadly. 'Don’t talk like that. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you only get so much time, and it could be gone before you know it. Don’t let anything get between you and your family or the people you love.'"


• The Dark Obsession of Stacy Rowe (IC: Pregnant Stacy), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Quinn huddled near Daria in the corner of Daria’s room trying her best to treat the wound and replace the bandages. Her eyes drifted over to her mother’s foul decaying corpse. After three weeks she still felt sick looking at it."


• End Of A Line, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): "Doug Thompson poured himself another glass of whiskey. He had been drinking since he woke up, but felt that more was needed. More drink to make him more courageous. He had been thinking about life. His life and his sons’..."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 5): "Jeffy Grey practically drank the images that his eyes were pouring into his brain of the guy that Monique had introduced him too. He was wearing a leather vest with no shirt, rock hard muscles, long flowing brown hair, soft dopey brown eyes, tanned skin, leather pants, black boots, and he had the slight, oddly alluring smell of motor oil and pot."


• Everybody's Got A Price (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett reached into her pocket and pulled out a crisp $20 bill. 'Please wash your hands a couple of times before you consider taking it.' Stacy wiped her hands on a paper towel and put her still oily hand onto her chin, leaving yet another streak of grease on her chin. 'I've never turned down free money before. What have you got in mind, toots?'"


• A Fully Unauthorized Sequel to "Jane Unchained", by Ranger Thorne (part 1): "Jane leaped to her feet and stood on the mattress. Her breath was ragged as she looked around the room. As she stumbled around and tried not to trip over the covers, she heard a small whimper. It took a second to realize that she had been the one to make it. 'Feel no trepidation, Jane. For it is just your friend once again.' The voice was small, but sounded like . . . Daria?"


• Inverted (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "With the parents gone, Daria Morgendorffer, the most popular and pretty girl in school had thrown together a pretty impressive party, anyone who was anyone at Lawndale High was there, couples were making out, the booze was flowing, the music was booming, and at the center of it all was Daria, the Queen Bee of Lawndale, surrounded by her popular friends."


• It Is Not Incest (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Dario can you explain me why are we naked and in my bed ?' asked Daria to her male counterpart, which had come out from the wardrobe the evening before."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part 5: The Gauntlet, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn stood in the cage barely able to contain her excitement. She could feel her magic just itching to escape as her opponent stepped into the cage. He was a skinny man, but that didn’t mean a whole lot in the world of magic. After all she was a pretty teenage girl and one of the most fierce fighters in the arena. 'Okay today we have a treat for you. Quinn, the seemingly unstoppable newcomer, will have to run the gauntlet,' the announcer said." (Part 2)


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "One thing she was fairly sure of... mostly sure?... a bit sure... let's say sure of was... what?... Ohhh yeah... that was it... she was pretty sure neither heaven or hell smelled of... what is that stuff?? detergent?... no... disinfectant!... yes that was it... dis... in... fec... tant. Pleased with having worked this important problem out she went back to sleep for a while." (Part 2)


• Lost and Found, by Reven384 (part 6): "She didn’t think she’d ever get off this island. She’d long since given up hope. There was a short period since that day that she allowed herself to hope again, but that was quickly squashed as she realized she had no way of gathering logs big enough to create a raft. She was stuck on this island."


• Man To Man (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I'm you, Jake. The only difference between us is that I had two little girls, and you had a boy and girl.' 'Where you come from, Darius was a girl? Makes sense-' (fhbbbit-!) 'F**K! You shot me in the leg!'"


• Memory's Ashes (IC/Looking For: Daria/Burnout (Jennifer) Fics), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stood on the stage, making final checks on her equipment, when she noticed a pair of familiar glasses out of the corner of one eye. Jennifer looked around, and there was Daria. Their eyes met, and for just a moment, the world froze."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 17): "Once her immediate security was assured, the first thing she noticed was just how normal this place was, with an assortment of decorations that went from the expensive and tasteful to a few handmade articles that could only be considered as tacky, yet they were prominently displayed in the living room. Scattered they were many pictures of the family that lived here, some of those were hers, and always with an annoyed face, and so incredibly unphotogenic."


• Prelude to The Avengers Part One: Origins, by Reven384 (part 4): "Quinn was scared, and she did something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She froze. She just laid there flat on her back unable to move. Unable to think. She was paralyzed by fear."


• Psycho Stacy meets Cannon Stacy (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Psycho Stacy looked at her counter part. They were so alike in so many ways, or at least they used to be before she took command of her life. It was amazing what power tools and a cattle prod could do for one's self esteem."


• Red Squared (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So... tell me more about this Legion thing you're in. Is it better than the Fashion Club, and what's your beauty budget, and do you have the cute little baby-T on under that uniform, because while that looks SO comfy I still just love my Baby-t, and oh, the way that the boys look at me! I know that you have cute boys just dying to take you out from all over - French guys, Spanish guys or Italian guys, which ones are hotter, I KNOW that you've gotten to go to some really nice restaurants, and if you've been in France, did you get any nice scarves?'"


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (parts 6 and 7): "At this point all she could do was deal with what had been handed to her, and then wait for a better chance to work on rebuilding her popularity, it had taken far too many hits as it was. 'Preferably by making people see Daria for what she really is,' Quinn fumed to herself in cold fury, 'An evil slutty bitch!'" (Part 7)


• A Small White Stick, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn, have you been using a pregnancy test?' 'What? What are you talking about? 'A PREGNANCY test. You know, one of those foot-long tubes with a sensitive point that you dip in urine to see if you’re expecting? Knocked up? Preggers? With child?' she interrupted herself as she saw Quinn’s revolted face." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• The Stranger from a Dream (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by oni (COMPLETE!): "'Was it really worth it, Sandi?' Being startled by the voice, Sandi gets off her bed and looks around; trying to find the source of the voice. With anger, Sandi asked, 'Um, who’s in my room?' The large mirror that sat in the corner of her room, lit up. In its bright glowing state, a figure pushed their self on through. At first Sandi didn’t recognize the person, but as the being was almost through, she realized that she was looking at herself."


• Strangers in the Night (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Trent recoiled from his other as if struck. He had gotten a bad vibe off of his doppelganger right at first sight, but brushed it off as willies from seeing somebody who was, for all intents and purposes, himself. But that was no longer the case: it was actually a monster who wore a man's face."


• The Switch (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck had to suppress the urge to start screaming. He wasn't in the compact anymore. He was meeting his counterpart from Dariaverse Prime. Still all that time alone in the dark was horrible. He shivered at the thought of it and smiled. He'd have what he wanted soon enough."


• Tom Meets Tom (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well,' the other Tom said hesitantly, 'Your family seems ok, for old money types like mine were...' 'Were?' Tom asked quietly, 'Did something happen to the fortune in your life?' 'No.' the other Tom said flatly, 'However recently... Mom admitted to cheating on Dad and that I'm not actually... His son.'"


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (part 6): "Ronnie then turned on the radio and found an alt rock station, which was playing an older Tom Petty tune at the moment. Daria glanced at him and said, 'Is this for my benefit or do you like this sort of music?' 'I do actually,' Ronnie replied, 'Like alt rock I mean.' Then while the pair quizzed each other on their tastes in music, the rumor mill of the LHS student body was spinning out of control."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): "Her sparkling personality held him in thrall. She was like sunlight glimmering on water. A burst of light in a deep darkness. Or any other ridiculous simile to describe the balm to his weary soul."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'You may call me Ms Thomasina Sloane.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Benedika,' the throaty voice of the immensely overweight woman said, 'For some reason not many people know it.' For once, the woman everyone seemed to only call Ms. Johanssen wasn't wearing a mummu and slippers, but instead a plus sized gown that actually made her reasonable to look at."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'NO!' screamed Skylar, sick to his soul. 'It can't be! I-I-I refuse to believe that I'm a rapist in half the known multiverse--'" (Part 2 by Brother Grimace


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'What the f@#%? Did a f@#%ing Junior Bloody Five explode?' Killer Quinn said."

"Ooh-la-la. Doctor, I have a pain."

Today is National Doctors' Day! Dr. Phillips is busy trying to figure out what caused Daria's mysterious rash, but we can celebrate on his behalf. Perhaps if Quinn ever decides to restart her passion for medicine, she'll have her own holiday as well! (As if every day isn't Quinn Day in her mind.)

It's also a triple birthday treat for Jane and Daria: Francisco de Goya was born in 1746, Vincent van Gogh was born in 1853, and Anna Sewell was born in 1820, all on this day! Two artists and one author, and one of Daria's childhood favorites on top of that!

New Fanfic!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 7): "QUINN: What? Nobody said anything about any tests?! DARIA: It's a psychological test. You're exempt. Now please shut up, my head's bothering me again. QUINN: Jeez, maybe you should see somebody about that... Hey! Jane peers out at the group from the doorway of the girls' room, anxiously. JANE: Shit. I hope it's not too late. C'mon, Trent. Whatever you and the boys are gonna do, you're gonna have to do it fast..."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 3): "Back outside, the women’s conversation melted down from screaming to talking. Linda knew she was going to lose this battle, so she finally broke down and asked Helen with exhaustion in her voice, 'So what do you suggest I do, Helen?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 25 and 26): "Darth Maladi: 'I have spoken to him on occasion. I have previously had to warn him off of harassing Daria Morgandorffer and Jane Lane, later he approached me daring me to do something, I made a threat to cleave him in two with my lightsabre if he didn’t leave me alone, he calls me a stuck up bitch and runs off. As far as I can tell, he is what you earth humans would refer to as a ... douchebag?'" (Part 26)


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 9): "'So, does anyone have any stories this week?' A trio stood up and got copies out of their bags. I looked over at C.C. and saw that she was not moving from her chair, and I was a bit disappointed."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 3a): "The effects of that jab to the parental reflexes were still working their way through Hank Brocklethwaite’s system on the car trip back. Over his sons' objections he insisted that they both take a college prep course which was being offered through the school. He wouldn't listen to reason, when Dylan tried to argue with him, or to unreason, when Kris tried that. Dylan took what comfort he could from Kris's discomfort. 'This could be an opportunity for us to do something together, as brothers', he said, rubbing salt in the wound."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 4): "'You should go headbutt some twatbag,' said Quinn absently. 'That's always a good pick-me-up.' DeMartino headbutted her. 'That WORKED!' he said, smiling. 'THANK you, Ms Morgendorffer!' 'No big.'"


• History Blows (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Well, while I must admire your INTESTINAL FORTITUDE, I STILL don't underSTAND the RELEVANCE of dining TEX-MEX in my classroom!' Kevin flashed Mr. DeMarino a winning smile. 'Tex-Mex? No, dude, you've got it all wrong!' 'Here it comes,' Daria said, tugging on Jane Lane's jacket sleeve as she ease herself from her seat and towards the door. 'You should get ready to run...'"


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 7): "'Jane, it's very simple. I'm not angry because I don't care. Not anymore at least. Quinn is ashamed of me and does not want to be my sister? Fine. If she does not want me as a sister then she is not my sister. For what it's worth I now consider myself an only child. The only reason I don't deny being her sister is that I don't want to stoop down to her level.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 13, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Trying to shrug off being ditched like that, but completely unable to, Tommy Sherman immediately followed after the hot ghost with all the certainty to prove her wrong - that Tommy Sherman wasn't a loser, that he might've died a pretty lame death but he was NOT a loser. 'Tommy Sherman might've gone the wrong way but...' He was completely distracted from his key objective now, 'That doesn't stop him from being anymore of a hero - if you know what he means...'" (Part 6)


• Stopping Two Sisters From Fighting (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn didn't get along all that well, but on this one thing they were both in agreement. Daria even let Quinn dress her, and Quinn didn't do anything to ruin her sister's appearance. Some things were just to important."


• Strange Unions (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn wasn't going to let the naysayers get her down. She wasn't going to let her parent's thoughts or her sister's horror get her down. She would even ignore the look of abject horror on the faces of the three J's when she told them who she was dating."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was outraged at this presumption of Daria's. 'And how do you know Harry? Just ignore her, Harry. She's just bitter you have better hair than her.' At once the insipid teen seemed to burst into life at this insult on Daria, and scowled at Quinn before taking Daria into his arms and kisisng her deeply."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Hey there.' The lead singer asked in; what Daria had to admit, was a pretty nice voice, although none of them could really hit the high notes they often attempted to sing on stage and on CDs. She wondered if one or two of them might do better in different genres of music. He smiled in an unfocused way and his eyes set on Daria. 'D- da dar!-' He motioned for the others. 'It's her guys! It's the girl I told you about!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Tom crept to the front door trying to be as silent as he could. He cringed as the soft squeek of every footstep echoed like a heavy brass bell. He reached for the doorknob and carefully turned. He wanted to scream, the damn door was stuck! He put some more effort into it when he heard something he prayed he wouldn't have to hear. 'Hey!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Jake slamed his hands on the table, frustrated. 'Honey, have you seen my ball-gag?' he yelled upstairs." (Continued by LongSnakeMoan)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Daria blinked at the interior of Tom's closet, just as he walked in. 'Hey, I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I got--Oh.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Posh Announcer: For several years now, Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe, and Sandy Griffin have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations. This is one of them."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "It had been a heavy night and Trent had drank his own body weight in cheap vodka. As he rolled over he noticed the sleeping form of the woman next to him, tightly clutching a marriage licence in her hand."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I've been a BAD boy. A very, very BAD boy. I messed up my HITSORY test and I deserve to be punished.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Daria I'm really not comfortable with this.' Tom muttered looking at the leather and and hand cuffs."


• Wrong Answer (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe stared at the top three lines of the history test that Mr. DeMartino had graded and handed back, beginning to hyperventilate. The first line of the test, written in the angry red ink favored by teachers everywhere, read 'SEE ME AFTER CLASS.' The second line, the first question of the test, asked, 'Who was Adolf Hitler?'"

Helen, That's No Way to Get Taken Seriously at the Firm!

Happy birthday, Charo! Helen is portraying the actress/comedian with great enthusiasm, but I bet Jake will be even more enthusiastic when he gets a look at her in that outfit.

On a more serious note, civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., was born on this day in 1929. Those of us in the United States will also be commemorating the great man tomorrow on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, but let me get a head start by sharing one of my favorite quotes from him:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Fandom News!

• Remember to vote for the 2011 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• The PPMB has reached its limit on attachments. Read the thread to see how you can help!


• Add your opinion to a discussion of the DFAs and Deviantart artwork.


• ApolloIVtv found a Jesse Moreno lookalike.


• A prequel to Jim Henson’s Labyrinth has been announced. Share your thoughts in the thread!


• Vukodlak posted a new Iron Chef: "What makes a date a date?"

"I'd make them crawl, I tell you. CRAWL!"

Happy Play God Day! We already know what Jane would do in this situation, but this is the day that we all get to imagine what we'd do with that kind of power. Except for the AU fanfic writers, who do this kind of thing all the time.

Also, happy birthday to both Richard Nixon and Bob Denver, born in 1913 and 1935. There are probably stranger combinations of people to connect together, but that's got to be pretty high on the list.

Fandom News!

• Time is running out! Submit your nominations for the 2011 Daria Fanworks Awards by January 10 at 11:59 PM (23:59) UTC!


• Vote in the poll and/or discuss it in the thread if you might be able to participate in a virtual Dariacon over Skype.


• NapalmKracken shares his patch from his 2008 deployment.


• J. R. R. Tolkien, a second-rate storyteller? Share your opinion of the article posted in the thread.


• Ranger Thorne is looking for help from any Pern experts in fandom.


• Have any good recommendations for oldie Daria/Trent fanfics? greedxed wants to know!

"I think that I shall never see / A poem lovely as a tree."

Happy birthday to the late poet Alfred Joyce Kilmer, born on this day in 1886. Kilmer is relevant to Daria as the person for whom the Lawndale public library is named, as you can see on the right.

Today is also the birthday of Steven Wright, born in 1955. We'll leave Luhrmann to do his rather good impression of the comedian, although Daria's delivery isn't bad, either.

Finally, on a sadder note, the tragic Altamont free concert took place on this day in 1969. Jake was apparently in attendance, per his remark in "Road Worrier": "Terrible tragedy, but I demanded my money back and I got it." Gouka Ryuu wrote an excellent short scene based on that line.

Fanfic Update!

• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 4): "John opened the phone and said, 'Hello?' 'John?' Tananda’s voice said from the other end. 'You’re not Scarlett.' 'I know that.' 'Well, where is she?' 'Uh, she’s busy.' After a couple of seconds, she giggled. 'Oh, I see.'" (SFMB)


• Daria 3000: Dye! Dye! My Mutated Abomination (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Don't you get it? The lady or the tiger -- now you don't have to choose?' 'What's a tiger?' Tom asked, clueless. 'A species of big cat. They went extinct centuries ago during the climate crisis of the late 21st,'"


• The Lady and the Tiger, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): 'Hobbes bounced over and excitedly said, "You came back! You came back!' Daria looked down at the tiger. 'Yes, I'm back and, okay, you're real. There was nothing in the soda glass.'"


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 23): "Putting his hands out, he added, 'Come sit with me.' Daria hesitated for just a moment, old fears of intimacy warring with current desire. This is why you wanted Colleen out of the apartment, stupid, she berated herself. Finally, she slid in next to him on the couch and, ignoring the parts of her that said no, pulled his arms around her. She half-smiled at his satisfied hum. 'This is nice,' she said, and meant it."


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (part 11): "'Are you having trouble with your classwork?' Kevin waved off the question. 'It's not that. Um, what would you say if I said I was thinking about going into a teaching-type career?' Mr. DeMartino didn't say anything right away. He didn't even move. Then, his eye twitched very, very slightly. After almost a full minute of silence, he finally exhaled and said, 'I would say that sometimes life is just bursting with irony.'"


• Quinn's Code 05: Morgendorffers vs. Amazon, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'You know, Daria, right?' Cindy asked. 'Somewhat, I know Jane more,' Jennifer said. 'That's mostly what Quinn said a few weeks ago. I thought it might have changed,' Cindy said. 'It hasn't,' Jennifer said. 'Oh,' Cindy said, as Jennifer turned off Glen Oaks Lane. 'Did you have a pont?' 'Yeah, do you know why Daria is hostile towards Quinn?' Jennifer was silent for a moment as she thought. 'She hasn't said anything,' she said. 'Quinn hasn't either,' Cindy said as she thought."


• Tigresses of Lawndale (reposted), by taishigi (parts 9 and 10): "Quinn realized that she wanted, perhaps even needed, a real friend; a friend like Jane was with Daria. Not that Quinn would want Jane for a friend. At that point all the little pieces jumbled in Quinn's mind came together to form a picture. Quinn wanted to be friends with her sister." (Part 10)


• Unnamed story, by neonhomer (part 1): "'We’ll take her to the Enterprise. Computer. Transfer the EMH program to the Enterprise sickbay computer. Dr. Crusher, you are needed on the Enterprise, medical emergency. We found Captain Morgendorffer. Picard to Enterprise, medical emergency! Four to beam directly to Sickbay.' Said Picard, giving no one a chance to get a word in. A few seconds later, they were appearing in the Enterprise Sickbay. The EMH reappeared, just as Dr. Crusher was appearing."

Send in the (Economical) Clowns!

Happy birthday to Charles Ringling, one of the Ringling Brothers, born on this day in 1863. The Ringling Brothers created one of the most successful circuses of all time, which may be of interest to Daria, who swore to join the circus at the idea of her parents, well...you know. And given Jake and Helen's enthusiasm, I think she just might have to.

Today is also Britney Spears' birthday, although I think even the Fashion Club has lost interest in her by now. Aren't you all glad I went with the Mrs. Bennett circus clown alter ego over the Ms. Barch Britney Spears alter ego, though?

Fandom News!

• Does your mileage vary? Discuss the stuff that you like that others don't, or vice versa!


• OverlordMikey is looking for information on Social Security.


• Raskolnikov wonders about sexual assault in the US military.


• What, if any, are the pitfalls of corporate and romantic entanglements?


• What do you think of Daria fics without any Daria characters in them?

A Birthday Three-fer!

Happy birthday to a trio of famous people! Winston Churchill, who was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during World War II, was born on this day in 1874. Jake's impression of the man isn't bad, but I'm sure things would have turned out differently for the UK if Jake had been in charge. Rest assured, though, it all would have been Mad Dog's fault.

Mark Twain, also known as Samuel Clemens, was also born on this day in 1835. Daria was a fan of the author, judging by her sleep shirt in "Lane Miserables," but Trent seemed somewhat less enthusiastic about him.

Finally, satirist Jonathan Swift was born on this day in 1667. I don't believe Swift was ever mentioned in canon, but there is that alter ego of Daria as the title character from Swift's Gulliver's Travels. I'd be willing to bet that Daria's a fan of his witty and acerbic writing style, though.

Fanfic Update!

• The Beginning of our Story, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "After dinner Darius took Jane back at her home. When they reached the doorway Jane said, 'Today was a wonderful day thanks' 'Was the same for me. Tomorrow I will pick you up and go to school together ok ?' 'Ok.' Jane said first to embrace Darius and give him a passionate kiss."


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mac tapped his console again. 'Well, that's one Raven off our back. Five to go.' 'One of you remind me,' Daria said suddenly, 'To look into weapons upgrades when we get done with this job?' There were three replies that they would, indeed, not let her forget."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 9): "Lynn was laying face down on Daria’s bed when Jane and Daria walked in. They stopped short of walking in, and stood in the doorway. Quiet sobs could be heard coming from Lynn. 'Maybe I should go talk to her...' said Daria. 'Good idea.' Said Jane, starting to walk into the room, but Daria grabbed her by the arm before she could get too far. 'Alone.' Said Daria. "


• Die Hard Quinn (Iron Chef - In the movies), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn dragged her aching body through the air vent hoping to avoid the terrorists that took over the building Daria worked at."


• The Lady and the Tiger, by RLobinske (part 3): "'Hi, Hobbes,' she said to the stuffed animal on the sofa arm as she sat down. After taking a long drink, Daria closed her eyes and leaned back to rest. 'I've had a long day myself.' Without thinking, she placed one hand on the tiger as she drifted off. Sometime later, Daria became aware of purring. I didn't know Calvin had a cat she thought. She opened her eyes and saw her hand resting on a miniature tiger."


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (part 9): "'Then you must not ever hear yourself talk,' Kevin said. He felt really warm, even to the point of sweating. 'When was the last time you ever did anything that worked out right?' 'Well, at one time I did a pretty good job of raising a successful football player,' Doug yelled, slamming his fist on the counter, 'but that ended up going straight to hell!' Something inside Kevin broke. 'You can go straight to hell, Dad!'"


• Three Signals, by Arena del Sur (COMPLETE!): "It was 2 am, I offered her some coffee. Jane accepted so we went downstairs to the kitchen. And then, while we drank coffee, she started to ask questions. –Have you ever felt trapped in a maze?"


• Tigresses of Lawndale, by taishigi (parts 3 - 5): "Daria looked unsure, so Quinn came over and said, 'I believe in you, too. It's your job to become a great script writer or whatever, so you can write stuff for me to star in.' Daria looked at Quinn, not believing even her sister could say such a thing. Then Quinn winked at her and stated, 'It is your destiny to write for me, young Morgendorffer.'" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Alright,' Daria said, conspiratorially as she helped Tad button up his shirt and wiped the creamy whiteness from her lips, 'Now remember not to tell your parents about this. It's our secret.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - In the movies), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Sandi: Like Stay-seee, are you, stoned or stupid? You don't hack a bank across state lines from your house, you'll get nailed by the FBI. Where are your brains, in your ass, or something? Don't you know anything?"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - In the movies), by SgtTrentLAne50 (COMPLETE!): "'Seriously, guys. What am I supposed to do?' Jane though a moment, then said, 'Kill your sister. You'll feel better.'"

It's a Kitchen Sink Blog Post!

We've got something for everyone today! Not only is it Young Readers Day, which Daria observed for most of her childhood, but it's also Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day. Jake's going to get right on that with his Kitchen Sink Stew! Finally, today happens to be Dunce Day as well, so we won't be leaving out Kevin and Brittany, either.

It's also a major day for birthdays: Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone With the Wind, was born on this day in 1900. Her book inspired not one but two alter egos as well as several canon references within the show. Bram Stoker was also born on November 8, in 1847, but Sandi continues to insist that his name is Brad. Finally, Hermann Rorschach was born in this day in 1884. Without him, there would have been no Rorschach tests and therefore no herds of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

Fandom News!

• There might be proof that Brittany and Kevin both exist in real life!


• Post your idea for the shortest...movie...ever.


• LadieT posted a new Iron Chef: What If The Lanes Weren't Wanderers?


• A new discussion started in the Golden Oldies forum: Erin Mills - More Than Meets The Eye.

That's One Way to Get Jodie to Pay Attention to Him!

Happy birthday to Evel Knievel, the late daredevil, who was born on this day in 1938. Mack's letting out his inner adrenaline junkie over there on the left, and let's all hope he has better luck on that motorcycle than Kevin did on his.

This is also Mike Judge's birthday. This is an important one for fandom, because without Mike Judge there would be no Beavis and Butt-head, and with no Beavis and Butt-head, there would be no Daria! And with no Daria, there would be no fandom and we would all be let loose upon the world. Scary thought, that.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 11): "Daria put her hands on her knees. 'Hold it, you didn't hear my excuse. I'm someone who doesn't want to get injured doing exercises that I'm not used to while you spend your time coaching cheerleaders. Now you can have us make up this class after school, but remember, that'll take up your time as well, and if you do that, I'm going to my mom, the lawyer, and we will go through meeting after hearing after discussion, all of which will take your time away from you, and at the end of, you will still lose. Now, how much time do you want to invest, Ms. Morris?'"


• The Beginning of Our History , by ST91 (part 5): "'Exactly, we can take the exam tomorrow and take away the thought of spending another minute in there' 'Perfect, where do you keep the answers?' 'At my house' 'Good then let's go , what are we waiting for?'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Beast Boy: (to himself) The coast is clear except for these Romans zebras. Seems legit. (Beast Boy opens the exit and peers outside cautiously. From behind, one of the zebras suddenly rears up on its hind legs and plunges a hunting knife into one of Beast Boy’s kidneys.) Zebra #1: (as she is shanking Beast Boy) Talk’s cheap, motherf***er!"


• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (part 10): "As the Holy Harpies announced they were taking a break, the crowd slowly split off into teens trying to score alcohol, and other teens sneaking out to smoke. Monique practically bounced towards them, her hair not moving an inch. 'Daria! It's so awesome to see you!' 'Yeah, because we're totally not here.' Nick laughed, ducking a little. Monique had lunged across to hug Daria, who was entirely surprised by how eager the other girl was. 'Hi Monique.'"


• A Fistful of Scarletts, by Aloysius (part 3): "Just then, two smaller flashes lit up the room and the three people (plus the mouse) turned to see two redheaded fairies suddenly flying above the buffet table. One was dressed in clothing similar to the first two Scarletts, and even wore an ankh necklace, but the other was dressed in white and revealing clothing and wore an anarchy symbol on a necklace. Both held smaller versions of the invitation card. 'Oh, crap,' the pregnant Scarlett said."


• God Save The Esteem ep36: Occupational Hazard, by Charles RB (part 1): "There was a pointed cough; Michelle Landon, noted executive and humourless being composed of pure annoyed, had overheard the conversation. 'I could not help overhearing. And I wanted to join in. One of the local flower shops has gone punk these days, for god’s sake! Is it too much to ask that we have somewhere to get away from the riff-raff?!' A waitress chose that moment to walk past, and all three rich people glared at her suspiciously."


• Her Farewell (IC : Jane's Wrath ...... and also Trent), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Amanda was still attached to the machines; her family knew there wasn’t much time. The aging Vincent; hair almost completely grey, sat by his wife’s bedside talking to her about all the places they had visited; apart and separate, and all the places they wanted to visit that they wouldn’t get to. Hoping that his words might sooth her before they pulled the plug and officially allowed her to drift away. He did his best to hold back his tears, but they where still flowing."


• The Lane That Would Never Return (IC : Jane's Wrath ...... and also Trent), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The next morning while Jane was in the shower, she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing several times. Much to her shock, her parents were home and looking for her. She quickly got dressed and headed downstairs. 'We finally finished etching several Mayan temple carvings how is school going, Jane?' Amanda asked. Vincent followed, 'Yeah, any idea of where you want to go to college? You know we have a fund set up for you so you can take your pick.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club by DIsaac (part 6): "QUINN: I think you are trying to start something, Sandi. SANDI: Not of the sort. I can read you well. I spent a lot time with you in High school to know your tendencies especially with pink and trying to keep things simple. I know you well enough to know there is something wrong. What is wrong? QUINN: What I'm about to say is going to shock you. I'm not proud about it - in fact I'm rightfully embarrassed by this. SANDI: It be can't something bad? I mean it's OK to wear UGG boots even though they been out of style for two years."


• ST: A V-mail of Significance (Non Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "'Any other time, you would be welcome. However I received a message from an old school friend, just before I went on shift. I would like to view it alone. That is, if you don’t mind?' Samuel said. He was fidgeting. He would normally be happy to have Yolanda in his quarters for a chat, as the friends they were. But he really wanted to watch the v-mail he had received by himself."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: A Roll of the Die), by Roentgen (parts 3 and 4): "Bret Strand smiled. 'Hey...aren't you...Jane Lane?' 'Hmm. Let me think about it. I have answered to that name to the authorities.' 'Cool. You were in track!' 'Wow. You remember that'" Jane smiled, wishing that she had her lipstick on." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Occupy Lawndale), by Dervish: "There was a knock at the door. Both froze and fear flashed across both their faces. Sighing, Helen smoothed her clothes down as she went to the door while Quinn suddenly regained an intense interest in her homework. She opened it with a false smile, though couldn't keep the look of fear from her eyes as she saw a half dozen well-armed grim faced deputies in helmets and body armor. 'Hi! How may I help you?' The lead deputy handed her a paper. 'I'm sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but we're here for Daria.'"

It's a Writer Birthday Two-Fer!

Happy birthday to both Ray Bradbury and Dorothy Parker, born in 1920 and 1893. Jake appears to be portraying The Illustrated Man, one of Bradbury's short story collections, on the right. Also, I bet you anything that Daria would be a fan of Dorothy Parker, thanks to the writer's sharp wit and gift for satire.

Fandom News!

• Are Daria's glasses "manstoppers"? Make your case in the thread.


• Check out LA Weekly's "Best of" Daria article! Do you agree or disagree with their choices?


• Share your thoughts on Doctor Who and the Hugo Awards.


• untra is looking for recommendations on what to read for his next big fic.


• The Angst Guy wonders what other important superhero-training schools are in the comics and movies.


• Three new Iron Chefs posted in Creative Writing: Charles RB's 12 Years of Tom!, RLobinske's Renaming Carter County, and Roentgen's "Daria: The Blazing World."

Do Potatoes Have Low Self-Esteem?

Today is National Potato Day, so Mr. O'Neill is doing his part to celebrate. Today also happens to be National Aviation Day, and if you combined the two holidays I suppose you'd get flying potatoes. Perhaps a potato gun is in order? If Mr. O'Neill is involved, I'm all for it.

Also, happy birthday to both Gene Roddenberry and Bill Clinton, born on this day in 1921 and 1946, respectively. One gave us Star Trek and the other gave us never-ending cigar jokes. Good times all around.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 1): "Daria walked out into the hallway and gently closed the door to Mrs. Manson's office behind her. Smooth, Morgendorffer. Just because she mispronounced your name - twice - you get into a battle that you can't win with someone that might actually start Mom and Dad thinking and digging."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 9): "As Jane got off the train at South Station, she was not the least bit surprised to see Daria standing on the platform, grinning broadly, at the reality of seeing her best friend in person after more than half a year. The two embraced and hugged for a while. 'I'll let Daria decide when to let go. She needs this far more than I.' Indeed, Daria broke the embrace a few moments later. Knowing her friend's moods all too well, Jane held out the wad of paper napkins she'd grabbed in the cafe car of the train."


• Common Enemy: A Daria/Babylon 5/Command and Conquer - Crossover (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wassersauefer (parts 1 - 3): "The whole space station shuddered under the impact of yet more enemy fire and the lights flickered, but none of this mattered to Lieutenant Lane, who was busy fighting for her very life. She snarled and lunged at her enemy, the former shooting match had long since been degraded into an all out brawl. Kevlar-armanit-armor against battle pikes, crystal-armor against combat knifes, blue against black, Minbari against Humans." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Consequence of Guilt (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "It had been an accident; it was supposed to be a prank. She got the guys to get her the berries, but didn’t tell them anything more. She then tricked Daria into consuming them. She thought it’d be funny, but then Daria tried to fly - tried to fly off the school roof that is."


• Courier and Ives and Ashtrays, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "With some effort, she willed herself to think of happier times, when her father had been at his most sober and most affectionate. It had always been when he pulled himself together enough to work on the bike, and led her into their old, rundown barn and taught her everything he knew about how to fix it up and make it run like new. Still, he spent ninety percent of his conscious hours in a drunken stupor."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Da crawled out and shivered a little: the evening air was decidedly crisp. Upon entering the cabin, she lay down on a bed, buried her face in the crook of her arm and said she felt awful. Then I look and discover with outrageous horror that her face and neck was covered with a bright, red rash. Daria ill. Daria dying. Her skin was scalding hot!"


• Given Up (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared up at the ceiling, her face drenched in sweat. It was almost midnight and she had just awoken from another nightmare. Ever since she had kissed Tom and destroyed her friendship with Jane in the process, she couldn't get an entire night's sleep. Shame still haunted her."


• Last Friday Night (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "At 14 pm the Griffins left their house and drove their two sons to a friend where they were spending the weekend. At 15 pm the Fashion-Club arrived to coordinate their outfits and makeup and all that stuff. Five hours later they and the house was ready for the first partygoers. At 22 pm pandemonium was ruling the household and total chaos was master of all. Sandi had long given up and –"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (part 5): "'I understand that I upset you and Jane today, and I’m sorry. I just...I want us to be a family again.' 'Were we ever a family to start with?' Trent asked, forcing his voice to stay neutral. 'I can’t think of a time that you and mom were home for more than a month at a time, and Wind, Summer and Penny all skipped out as soon as they got the chance.'"


• Oh Well (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked at her cellphone. It had almost been two hours since she made Daria the chocolate glitterberry milkshake. She couldn't wait to go into her sister's room to take pictures of Daria bouncing off her padded walls. The only trouble was she hadn't heard any noise coming from the room."


• Payback! (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'How did I get here?' 'You remember that camping trip?' 'Please for the love of god don't say-' 'I gave some glitterberries yesterday. I snuck it in your firecracker chicken at Good Time Chinese restaurant.'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Jane said: 'One of the everyday things You have to do as a God is display Your command of languages.' 'I can do that!' 'In your case, Sandi, it'll be better if you keep quiet...' Angered, Sandi replied: 'Just because I'm not a God, you make it sound like I'm stupid!!!' 'Daria, You didn't tell her?' 'No, but I did check out her voice sample against the Stupidity Spectrum...' 'And?' 'Let's just say, the graphs don't lie...'"


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 8): "Karen said, 'We're not going to let you go without at least having some fun tonight.' 'I'm still working on that whole "fun" thing,' Daria replied. CC grinned. 'Don't worry. We're professionals.' 'That's what I'm afraid of.'"


• Snark of the Swarm (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "However, it appeared that Jane was too late. The surface of the cocoon was already rippling and heaving, a clear indication that whatever monstrosity it contained would soon be hatched. Taking stock of the surrounding area, Jane had just started to plan the push towards the cocoon when the thing began twitching. With a final convulsive shudder, it didn’t so much as crack open as collapse, sloughing off in wet chunks as the figure it was protecting stepped out. It wasn’t Daria."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "The Self-Transforming Machine Elf gave an irritating, smug metallic giggle as the golden horns on its forehead folded together and it pulled its gigantic alabaster cranium into a shiny blue torso that never should have been capable of accommodating it, while simultaneously pulling its arms inward, reversing its knees, unfolding its tail and spreading its shimmering red and black wings to fly away."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: If I Forget You: Daria's Turn), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jodie led her into the bathroom. 'Daria and Mr. DeMartino were working at Mr. O'Neill's "Ok to Cry Corral" for the summer. Right before the Fourth of July, they were taking a bus load of campers for a hike when the driver lost control and they careened off the side of the mountain. When Daria didn't come home that night, Mrs. Morgendorffer called the police. After a two-day search, the wreckage was found. The only person who survived was Daria, who had been trapped on the bus with two broken legs and a very bad head injury.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "She nudged Josephine. 'Git over to the radar station, something's up with Link. Scoot!' 'I'm there 5 minutes ago!' She replied. She unplugged her headset and trotted for the door. 'Link, Josephine is headin' over to th' radar shack. What's goin' on? Over' 'Foo fighters. Over.' 'Shit. Over.'"


• Unnamed Story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DigiSim: "'I can't breathe, Mother. I can't breathe!'" (Continued by Ixmythot) (Continued by Smijey)


• Wings (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by respite (COMPLETE!): "Daria took a sip of the smoothie on her way to Jane's, and noticed that she felt somewhat more awake. 'Hm. Must have some of those slimming amphetamines in the mix,' she thought, and paid the sensation little mind. Jane was ready to go when Daria arrived, and the two headed off to Lawndale High together as Daria took a healthy slug."


• You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Jane smiled to herself. The night had gone much better than she had anticipated it would. Meeting Tom at the Zon had been a stroke of luck, and even if Daria had left the club before they got back from getting dinner, Mystik Spiral's second set had been tolerable enough (especially since Jane hadn't really listened to any of it)."

College, Carson, Cyndi, and Chocolate!

On this day in 1944, President Franklin Roosevelt signed the G.I. Bill into law. It offered support to returning soldiers who wished to pursue their education, among other things. Unfortunately for Trent, I don't think any colleges--then or now--included "Sleeping with a Guitar in Your Hands 101" as a course.

Happy birthday to both Carson Daly, born in 1973, and Cyndi Lauper, born in 1953. Carson Daly voiced the character David Sorenson in the movie Is It Fall Yet?, in which he attempted the impossible--teaching anything to Sandi, Stacy, and (gulp) Tiffany. Kudos to you for trying, you brave soul!

Cyndi Lauper and Metalmouth would both like to remind you all that Girls Just Want To Have Fun! Don't worry about that noise outside the car. It was probably just raccoons or something. Feel free to let your guard down, okay?

Most importantly of all (in my opinion, anyway), today is National Chocolate Eclair Day! A chocolate eclair was featured in The Angst Guy's Feeding Frenzy, although for some reason the characters in the fanfic had their minds on...other things.

Fanfic Update!

• Chance Encounters (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'7-A,' Nick confirmed. 'You know what to do.' 'Professional,' Trent muttered in distaste as he jogged toward the building. 'That's my boy,' Nick crooned, then the line went dead."


• Chuckovers (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Too many great one-liners to quote just one. Go read them yourself!


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mack shook his head. 'Doesn't seem worth it to me.' 'So, McKinley giving us a brand new drive system on top of twelve million IEC Trust doesn't appeal to you?' Daria asked flatly. Mack paused, considering this for a long, long moment. 'Objection withdrawn, fearless leader.'"


• The Happy-Go-Lucky Fic (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'Daria," said Dr. Johnson, "You can come in now.' 'Thanks for seeing me today Doctor. How is everything?' 'Well, we've finished all your tests. Still, I have some good news and some bad news.'"


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 1): "'Why are we at a beach party?' Daria asked the same way a suspected terrorist might say 'Why are we in Cuba?' 'Do the words free food mean nothing to you?' Jane smirked. 'Besides... this might be our last chance to see everybody. You can't tell me you're not gonna miss any of them at all?' 'You're telling me you are?' Daria said sceptically as she took a bite of the dog."


• It's Eureka, Daria: A Walk in the Woods, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Following the new path, Daria said, 'Since my family moved to Eureka, I've been turned into a living light bulb, I've had to save half the town from the malfunction of a nuclear rocket bunker and now I'm tracking down a lost robot. When does Global Dynamics start giving me hazardous duty pay?' 'Trust me,' Dawn said. 'You haven't seen anything close to what GD considers hazardous duty.' 'Yeah, we just take our lives in our hands when we wake up every morning,' Daria said. 'That's not hazardous duty around in Eureka, that's just life.'" (Part 4)


• Life After Highland Ch. 1: Rush This!, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "When Daria was finished, she looked like she was going to start crying again. Daria excused herself and headed for the bathroom. As she was wiping her face off, she saw Brittany walk in and stand behind her. When Daria turned around, Brittany wrapped her in a warm embrace."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 9: Hard Time, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Damn elephant in the car,' Daria muttered, then asked, 'Mack, why are you wanting to go out with me?' 'What?' 'You heard me,' she said, looking at him." (Epilogue)


• Morgue and Morgendorffer (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by gwrtheyrn (part 1): "The humid, baking heat in the street was terrible: the airlessness all about her, and that special Maryland stench, so familiar to all who are unable to distance themselves from the Chesapeake in summer--all worked painfully upon the young woman's already overwrought nerves. From time to time, she would mutter something, from the habit of talking to herself, to which she had just confessed."


• Not So Different 49: All Is Grist That Comes To The Mill, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'You haven't heard that story?' Sonny turned his chair towards Jane as if he were settling himself for a longer talk. Jane looked at her watch. 'Listen, I said I'd meet Tom for pizza, but why don't you tag along? It sounds like the kind of thing he might be interested in hearing too.' 'Well—if you're sure I won't be in the way.'"


• Not So Different 50: Fortune Spins Its Wheels, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'After my experience of life, can you expect me to believe in guardian angels? Can you expect me to agree that it's good for somebody to believe in guardian angels?' He held up the fifty-dollar bill between the fingers of both hands and flexed his wrists and knuckles to make it crackle. 'Better to learn to be your own guardian angel.' He put the money in a pocket and left the room."


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Futurama, 10%. Lord of the Rings, 30%. Halo,75%. World of Warcraft, 95 %. The Matrix, 80%. Battlestar Galactica 45 %. Wheel of Time, 25%. Redwall, 55%. Back to the Future, 70 %.' Tori then listed a few more, some not even sci-fi or fantasy. 'I get the point!' Stacy said, even though she liked some of the stories listed. 'Yes. Tori, I see that the games have become very popular. That is why we need to destroy the Geekendorffer's popularity!' Sandi said."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 13): "'Daria.' She thought as she sank into the bed that was still slightly too soft. 'Do you think like I do? That this all started way back when? Well, of course you don't know yet, I've been here by myself. But, if you wanted to come out here, I wouldn't say no.' Kim thought to herself. She didn't believe in psychic powers, Daria couldn't hear her. But it was a nice, slow thought that helped her get to sleep."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: That Party Last Night!, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: Yes we will -You Writer. Me Artist. Yeah we will be starving but we will have our dignity! DARIA: Last time I checked dignity isn't a form of currency. JANE: So you are saying? DARIA: Grab a mop, Scruffy. JANE: Dammit, Morgendorffer." (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "The shaking finally stops, and I pull myself up to my knees. My katana scrapes noisily across the metal floor, but the sound doesn't end when I stop moving the weapon. Did I think before that I was going to be alone on the other side of the veil? I was wrong." (New part)


• Tony Sees the Light (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Kevin walked into DeMartino's class ten minutes before first period. DeMartino glared dispassionately at the youth, but the expression slipped when he took in the uncharacteristic pensive expression on the boy's face. 'Uh, Mr. De? Can I ask you a favor?'"


• Unnamed story (Proposed Iron Chef: 1,000 Jakes), by Grifter74: "Jake woke to the sounds of an air raid siren, something he hadn't heard since he was a kid. Looking around, Jake was sure he was in his office, but something was off. Before, he could take a closer look, he heard Quinn shouting, 'Daddy, we got to go to the shelter. Those stupid monsters are attacking again.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Babies are faaaaaaat,' said Tiffany, heading to the maternity ward with blank eyes. 'Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...'"