No Signal? Now That's Roughing It!

Happy birthday to both Laura Ingalls Wilder and Charles Dickens, born on this day in 1867 and 1812. Both inspired at least one throwaway line in the series each, with Jane's reference to "little hell on the prairie" in "Camp Fear" (a reference to Wilder's Little House on the Prairie series) and Daria's "God bless us, every one" in "Depth Takes a Holiday" (quoted from Dickens's "A Christmas Carol").

Helen is doing her best to emulate a pioneer like in Little House on the Prairie, but I'm sure she's completely lost without her cell phone.

Fanfic Update!

• Barch Nemesis (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The bartender set the glass down in front of Jake, giving the silently-fuming man a sympathetic look before moving on to the next customer, a short brunette with a permanent scowl on her face. She looked familiar, but Jake was too busy struggling with his own demons to pay much attention."


• Barch's Experiment (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria walked into Janet Barch's Science Room. After classes had officially ended. Normally they wouldn't be caught sane doing such a thing. But this wasn't the normal way of doing things."


• Burn, Baby, Burn (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "O'Neill's cass lol umpatentely slummed deir desksss ass dey wained dor deir teacheror."


• A Conversation.... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "O'NEILL: I would like to talk with you about your latest story, Love Gone Wrong. DISAAC: Why? O'NEILL: It kind of disturbing. It has me as a..... DISAAC: A Molester. Yes."


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 3): "Daria then took the podium. In bored tones she began to speak. 'No one can battle a terrible problem like low self-esteem on their own. It takes good coaching...' She stopped for a moment before giving a massive yawn. 'Sorry, I'm not good at faking that I care, or reading out loud meaningless buzzwords to make a certain teacher feel self-important.'"


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (part 5): "There was a teenage girl at the door. She had long red hair - I suspected hair extensions - and was wearing a little pink T-shirt and skinny leg jeans that showed off what she had quite nicely. If your eyes were drawn to boob level - and given the bare-midriff shirt, they soon would be - the shirt had a little logo of a smiley face with a halo. 'Hi!' she chirped. 'I'm selling long distance phone cards!'"


• The Divine Cynic, by PrecambrianStudios (part 3): "Daria inquired, 'So, what weapon do you use? A paintbrush?' Without looking at her, Jane reached into her jacket pocket and procured just that. Daria said, 'Why am I not AH!' The paintbrush suddenly transformed into a scimitar. The blade was several feet long and its razor-sharp point seemed to give off a deadly hum. 'I call it Wit. Because it's so sharp.'"


• Finders Keepers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "She sat paralyzed in the chair as he limbered toward her, knife in hand."


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Days past and it was not a good time to live in Lawndale. Police had a hard time keeping the criminals under control and Jane was getting angry about how they had yet to do anything, but held her tongue."


• Heroes and Villains Part Two: Queen Sandi, by Reven384 (part 1): "Sandi said, 'Anyone else got any bright ideas. Stay loyal and you'll be kings. Betray me,' she stabbed the corpse with her bone sword a couple more times, 'Well you get the picture. As you can see. I can't die. I'm a goddess. Stick with me and you'll go far.'"


• Life Imitates Art (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman descended into his cheerful chiding of Daria as his appearance at the football game awaited."


• The Line-Up (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Trent set the needle on the record as he popped the DVD into the disc drive. 'So Janey,' he exhaled, 'let me get this straight. If you play Dark Side and The Wizard of Oz at the same time, they line up?'"


• The Lost Girls – Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Val as in 'Val' became a fan of Lawndale"


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 15): "If Daria had thought that her last return to Lawndale High was a March of Triumph, it didn't even compare to coming to school in a shiny red new (looking) red Infiniti with the top down."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Finds a Cure for Da Blues! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Poor Nurse Goodnsexy was in a funk. Oh sure, her work in curing the many ills of the good men of Lawndale (and Oakwood, and Fielding Prep, and a whole bunch of other places) was fun and all but... There was something missing now."



• Rapture (Iron Chef: The Convert), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "In the distance toward the town center she saw what she at first took to be a flock of large birds ascending toward the burgeoning clouds now covering half the sky. She then stood stock still for several minutes blinking rapidly and swallowing hard trying to maintain control of herself. Her knees started to tremble and her breakfast threatened to make a reappearance as she realized exactly what she was looking at."


• Requisite untitled AU Book I: Past, by mac (part 7): "Jake Morgendorffer paced around his living room. He checked his watch. He looked at the stairs to see if his daughter had appeared (she hadn't). He looked out the small window above the front door. He looked at his watch; only thirty seconds had passed since the last time. Stairs; still no Daria. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door."


• Sexy Daria: Sexy Runaway, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Breakfast time in the Morgendorffer house the next morning was a silent affair. That could be chalked up to the fact that Jake Morgendorffer was nursing a major hangover, Quinn didn't feel like talking, and now Daria and Helen were M.I.A."


• The Tomb: An Adventure Story, by peetz5050 (part 1): "After several steps the lodestone shot out to the right. That was the first stone. She stepped forward, the lodestone dropped, forward again, there it was, the second stone, just as Willoughby had promised. The one in between therefore, was the gateway. 'Are you sure about this Daria? The Irish are gonna go ballistic when they find out you're desecrating a national monument.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The burly oxen in the Polk High football uniform looked up from his pizza and glared across the length of several tables as Daria looked up and accidentally made eye contact."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Demon-Something (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman strutted down the hall, the very image of a conceited, absolutely-totally not washed up ex-football star for a moderately successful high school team."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The signal was two knocks and then a rapid knock-knock-knock. Upchuck felt for the door handle, and, noting that the door was unlocked, walked in and quietly closed the door behind him. Daria smirked. Tom tried not to laugh. It only took about twenty seconds. 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the Headmistresses office of Hogwarts, one Daria Percivella Wulfurica Brianna Dumbledore was justifying making Harry Potter's life a living nightmare so he would be in the right state of mind when it came time for him to die for the Wizarding World."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jake watched his little kiddo stumble out of the downstairs bathroom, she was walking a bit bowel-legged, which would have raised warning flags in anyone else."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Can't believe I got forced into this.' Daria griped, striding firmly down Lawndale Junior High's hallways. 'This' happened to be the mentoring program LJH ran."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As Daria read 'The Writer's Guide to Making Your Audience Vomit,' by Stephanie Meyer, Quinn suddenly emerged from the bathroom with a pair of testicles attached to her chin."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "They froze. Daria checked their surroundings. 'Where the hell did THAT come from?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Strapped down to a chair in a darkened room, Kevin screamed as he felt his crotch being gripped by an iron hand."