Dibs on "Esmerelda"!

Today is Get a Different Name Day, so this is your chance to follow the advice of Jake Morgendorffer: "Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Okay, maybe you don't have to go that far. Unless you really want to, that is.

Fanfic Update!

• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 3): "A single voice emerged and began to speak. 'Daria...' And then there was light."


• Camwhores (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane had installed a minicamera in the Art Department closet, where supplies were kept. There was rumor that a mouse was nibbling at the supplies, and Jane was going to turn it into an art project called 'The Hunger for Art'. 'Yeah. But F the mouse. F him real good. I've got gold on this cam!'"


• Cracked Helmet (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Kev, you alright?' one of the nameless football players asked the figure sprawled out on the ground."


• The Dale of Lawn , by Wassersauefer (parts 8 - 10): "When she came into the room where the sewing circle was held she immediately noticed a girl she had not seen before. Not because she was good at memorizing faces or such, but because that girl was wearing a lovely pink dress which accentuated her pretty eyes and her scarlett hair well. She was, though not the most good looking girl she had ever seen, well dressed and graceful. She was cute and had clearly good sense for fashion and colors." (Part 9) (Part 10)


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 3): "Five minutes into the latest break from reading, the first ray of hope since they had been brought into this hell emerged. In the form of a red door with a golden knob."


• Daria and Jane: On Those Cool Lightsabers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So let me get this straight,' Jane said to Daria as they looked over the DariaWiki, 'An Angst Lord gets a cool red lightsaber, and a Cheer Lord gets a "cheersaber", right?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 18a): "Their father welcomed the Bregers by name as they got out of their vehicle. 'Leaf! Raven!' At least, Dylan was assuming those were names."


• Ellis Island (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "He kept time with his foot as he played the opening bars of the song on his penny whistle. His friend Barney chimed in on the lively melody with his banjo, plucking away at the strings with a big smile on his bearded face. After a couple of bars Neasy took the whistle from his lips and started to sing."


• Full of It (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria stepped behind Kevin and winced. What she was about to do was all-out sacrilege towards any football player, or at least one of his caliber. But the sight of Jane gradually pulling a twenty-dollar bill out of her wallet spurred her on."


• Gettysburg, Pennsylvania - 1861 (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'My father ran into yours after a meeting with the Governor. Jake told him that you had decided to join the Union Army. IS IT TRUE?! When were you going to tell ME? I thought you LOVED me??'"


• Glorious Crap (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Hold on, hold on......you want me to do WHAT?!'"


• Honest Trailers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Narrator, in one of those dramatic movie voices: From the man who shares his name with a type of house, comes the show about a girl who is so sexually unappealing that she was turned down by a pair of horny toads."


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 9): "As Conrad carried Scarlett inside her bedroom, the normally placid and curious Roger the Mouse fled to the far end of his cage and squeaked repeatedly. 'Calm down, dammit!' the father said as he laid his daughter in her bed. 'It's just us!' Roger attempted to escape his cage on the opposite end from the bed. 'I don't get it,' Tananda said. 'Why is he acting like this? He's never been afraid of us before.'"


• It's Okay To Cry, Amelia (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Ms. Kinnikufan (COMPLETE!): "Amelia couldn't believe she deluded herself the same way again: that hero worship equaled friendship. No wait, it was far, far, worse this time: it equaled a crash that could be reciprocated."


• Jake Loses His Sh*t (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The first blood vessel popped. Then the other."


• Kevin With His Mates (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the early light of the morning, Kevin found himself to be the first one to wake up. He had to remind himself that he was the only one who was a morning person."


• Learning Something About Mack (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what is it that we're doing? I mean besides breaking countless laws?' Daria asked as she watched Jane pick the lock at the Mackenzie's."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 16): "Rachel looked down at her baby brother, keeping him calm was becoming an impossible task; normally she resented the hell out of being his nursemaid. This time... She looked into his soft, innocent brown eyes and said, 'We can't take this anymore.'"


• My Night at Daria's, Ad Infinitum, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "There was a rap at the door. 'Come in,' the old man's voice called out. The door opened, spilling light into the dim room. In walked a young woman wearing a tube top, a miniskirt, and high heels. She was not the maid."


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 26): "'You want me to what?' she said, trying very hard to control her voice. 'I want you to come to the game this Saturday,' Kevin said, sitting up from where he'd stretched out on her couch."


• The Partnership (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Jane looked longingly at the bottle of off-brand port sitting on her fride, as once again her mother's even monotone, mixed with her logic, started a mild headache. 'Look mom, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if that position at Ashfield for the summer was still available.'" (Part 1.2) (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Peculiar Art of Friendship in the Time of the Raj (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by deneich (COMPLETE!): "'Helen, my dear, this girl's name is Jayna and she will be serving the Family as Daria's personal attendant.' 'Excuse me, Father, but what did you just say?' said the shorter of the two younger ladies. Her words were spoken politely; however, they were accompanied by a menacing stare."


• Pope Jane (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Iana looked at the body of the dead man and then back to the feverish eyes of her friend. 'You want me to what?' Shock made her voice tremble. 'Become pope,' Teodaria said. 'It's our only chance.'"


• Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'All that is happening is that I unfairly got grounded.' 'Grounded, what for? Wait, what about the Jury Pruce Dancing?'"


• Reality Bites (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Sandi? Sandi Griffin is that you?' 'Oh... Hi Keh-winn. I... I... didn't expect to see you here... How are you?'"


• Requisite untitled AU Book I: Past, by mac (COMPLETE!): "'Daria! Are Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Jake back from their honeymoon yet?' Daria just managed not to flinch at hearing Brittany call her father 'Uncle Jake.' 'Not yet. They should be back soon, though.' 'Yay! I'll wait! I want to hear all about their trip!'"


• Schlossstecken, by Pumpkin Panic (part 3): "artistickLicense [AL] began pestering devilsDictionary [DD] at --:--"


• Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 1): "Daria used her new lock and opened the door, then found herself stammering out a, 'uh... Hi!' In front of her was Trent, and since he had just gotten a massive whiff of Daria's perfume, and the luscious vision that was Daria right in his face, he wasn't operating on all cylinders either."


• Something in Common (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "After a moment a figure came around the ventilator shaft she'd been hiding behind and crawled over to the next aperture in the wall. The figure was holding... no freakin' way! He had a rifle!"


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 5): "After Daria clicked the byzantine icon with her face, the required notice popped up in their minds: 'Psychologist General's Warning: Unfiltered dreams can cause serious damage to untrained brains. Please do not confuse with reality, augmented or otherwise.'"


• Soul Reforged (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "Stupid Sandi. The girl thought as she lay on her back. Why does she always pick on me? All I did was comment on how cute those earrings were, why would she say they looked tacky? I hate her so much! Stacy felt her eyes begin to close even as tears flowed down her cheeks. I wish my life could be different."


• Sound and Fury (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Dar-' A loud fart cut off Jake mid-sentence. 'Oh my GOD!' Quinn screamed, hurriedly rolling down a window."


• SS, DD (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Hey, he thought, a chick! Have I gone out with this one yet? He studied her features and attempted to correlate them with his muscle memory. Uhh...no! Wait, what's her name, Ann, Annabelle, Andr-- As if possessed, he experienced a rare moment of sense of self while gazing into her eyes. Oh crap, I'm still on the floor."


• TDJS CH.4 Boston Baby!, by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "Now Jane had seen various pictures of Amy on as many magazines but only now, as she saw her greet the Morgendorffers she realized how much she looked like Dario. Same auburn hair. Same complexion. Very similar features. For a moment Jane wondered if she was Dario's mother instead that Helen." (Part 5)


• Three Guys at a Bar, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Nah, it is that bad. See...I was thinking about this girl I knew. She was free spirited, artistic, funny, sweet. Like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl without the annoying part. I knew she was for me. She was the most different girl I had ever met. She was freedom come to life.'"


• Truth Potion (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Uh Jane?' Daria asked as they approached Chez Pierre. 'Yeah Daria?' 'Why are we here?'"


• Two for One (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the link on which Jane was about to click. 'Why did you bring me to your computer? And why is that webcam pointed at me?'"


• Unexpected Hookup: Relative Madness, by Shiva (part 9): "Before she could ask the obvious question, her mother answered it for her. 'Your cousin will be staying with us for a little while,' Helen said while looking over some papers, 'She, well...' 'I'm getting divorced.' Erin stated simply while sipping her coffee."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "'Is something wrong Mack?' The large African teen nodded, running a hand through his hair. 'Jodie, we need to talk.' Jodie nodded her head, closing her locker and leaning back, a bad feeling sitting in her stomach"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "One day as Daria and Jane were headed back to their quarters they smelled something oddly funky. 'Gotcha!' A pair of strong arms encircled Daria from behind and swung her about. She recognized the voice immediately as Tom's and bit her lips to keep from squealing."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Kevin and Brittany walked forward first, looking generally terrified. But after a moment, Brittany summed up the courage to flash them. Shirley-Phelps Roper screamed, and in her haste to cover the eyes of her children, she dropped her signs and stepped on them with muddy boots."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Everyone in the halls of Lawndale High froze in mid-step as suddenly the janitor's closet, (AKA the makeout room) burst open and Robert stumbled out, wheezing and panting and covering his mouth."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.' Daria said aloud once she and Tom were in their bedroom."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It's a paycheck.' Daria's flat, even statement was a contrast with her father's infuriated expression plastered on his face, which was currently colored an interesting shade of puce."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The tube of tightly rolled paper fell to the ground from a second-floor window at Casa Lane, conveniently in front of the Tank and the three awake members of Mystik Spiral (read: all but Trent). As they looked down at it, they inspected its contents to find a green and leafy mess inside."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The crisp air highlighted the coffin standing above an open grave. Tearfully, Mr. O'Neill stepped up to the dais to eulogize the deceased."


• Upchuck Asks About the Skirt (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh my sweet little flower,' Upchuck said in his usual Upchuckie voice, 'There is a question that burns deep in my soul-'"


• A Vegas Morning... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria had woken up with a killer hangover and was now staring at her ring finger. Which had a gold wedding band on it."