Tutors Just Wanna Have Fun!

Happy birthday to both Carson Daly and Cyndi Lauper, born on this day in 1973 and 1953. Both have their connections to fandom, too: Carson Daly voiced the long-suffering tutor David Sorenson in Is It Fall Yet? while Cyndi Lauper's hit "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was given an entirely new meaning thanks to Metal Mouth in the episode "Legends of the Mall."

Today is also National Chocolate Eclair Day, which I figure is important enough to mention just because it's chocolate eclairs, people. Still, if you really need to connect it to fandom, how about The Angst Guy's fanfic "Feeding Frenzy"? Enjoy!

Fanfic Update!

• All Is Well That Ends... Alright? (IC: Jake without Mad Dog), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Jake, you’re getting home later than you usually are.' 'I was talking to my lawyer...'"


• Anthony, Sometimes (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Hello Anthony.' My heart nearly stops when I see a man who looks like me sat on my couch. He doesn't just look like me, he is me. Me in a well cut black suit and a blood red tie."


• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 8): "'Lions...tigers...bears. Oh my. Thinking about what you want?' 'Sort of,' I admitted. I glanced back a seat, where Jodie was talking with Quinn about fashion just to keep her calm. 'This is so weird, isn’t it? I keep trying to decide what animal I want to turn into, then stop and realize what the hell, I’m trying to decide what animal I want to turn into?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 11), by oni (COMPLETE!): "As Linda came up to them, one of the officers asked, 'And you are?' 'Linda Griffin,' she replied. Brooke’s parents looked over recognizing her but didn’t say anything. Between what happened in the yard within the last five minutes and what happened with the attack on Sandi’s daughter a couple of days ago, no words could make up for their daughter’s actions."


• Blissful Sleep (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Angier,' Kay Sloane called out as she entered the darkened bedroom, 'The DNA test came back and it turns out that Tom... is... your... son...' she trailed off after she found the light switch and then everything shut down at the horrific sight before her." (Part 2)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 43): "'So far, you’ve received a ton of compliments.' Said Tilly. 'Why not dress up a little?' 'Because this isn’t me.' Said Daria. 'I just felt like a change for today.' She looked down at herself, and then turned to Jane. 'Did you even know I had boobs?' Jane about choked on her pizza. 'What?'"


• Daria M meet Daria H, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "The short haired Daria shook her head with sadly. 'Don’t talk like that. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you only get so much time, and it could be gone before you know it. Don’t let anything get between you and your family or the people you love.'"


• The Dark Obsession of Stacy Rowe (IC: Pregnant Stacy), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Quinn huddled near Daria in the corner of Daria’s room trying her best to treat the wound and replace the bandages. Her eyes drifted over to her mother’s foul decaying corpse. After three weeks she still felt sick looking at it."


• End Of A Line, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): "Doug Thompson poured himself another glass of whiskey. He had been drinking since he woke up, but felt that more was needed. More drink to make him more courageous. He had been thinking about life. His life and his sons’..."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 5): "Jeffy Grey practically drank the images that his eyes were pouring into his brain of the guy that Monique had introduced him too. He was wearing a leather vest with no shirt, rock hard muscles, long flowing brown hair, soft dopey brown eyes, tanned skin, leather pants, black boots, and he had the slight, oddly alluring smell of motor oil and pot."


• Everybody's Got A Price (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett reached into her pocket and pulled out a crisp $20 bill. 'Please wash your hands a couple of times before you consider taking it.' Stacy wiped her hands on a paper towel and put her still oily hand onto her chin, leaving yet another streak of grease on her chin. 'I've never turned down free money before. What have you got in mind, toots?'"


• A Fully Unauthorized Sequel to "Jane Unchained", by Ranger Thorne (part 1): "Jane leaped to her feet and stood on the mattress. Her breath was ragged as she looked around the room. As she stumbled around and tried not to trip over the covers, she heard a small whimper. It took a second to realize that she had been the one to make it. 'Feel no trepidation, Jane. For it is just your friend once again.' The voice was small, but sounded like . . . Daria?"


• Inverted (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "With the parents gone, Daria Morgendorffer, the most popular and pretty girl in school had thrown together a pretty impressive party, anyone who was anyone at Lawndale High was there, couples were making out, the booze was flowing, the music was booming, and at the center of it all was Daria, the Queen Bee of Lawndale, surrounded by her popular friends."


• It Is Not Incest (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Dario can you explain me why are we naked and in my bed ?' asked Daria to her male counterpart, which had come out from the wardrobe the evening before."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part 5: The Gauntlet, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn stood in the cage barely able to contain her excitement. She could feel her magic just itching to escape as her opponent stepped into the cage. He was a skinny man, but that didn’t mean a whole lot in the world of magic. After all she was a pretty teenage girl and one of the most fierce fighters in the arena. 'Okay today we have a treat for you. Quinn, the seemingly unstoppable newcomer, will have to run the gauntlet,' the announcer said." (Part 2)


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "One thing she was fairly sure of... mostly sure?... a bit sure... let's say sure of was... what?... Ohhh yeah... that was it... she was pretty sure neither heaven or hell smelled of... what is that stuff?? detergent?... no... disinfectant!... yes that was it... dis... in... fec... tant. Pleased with having worked this important problem out she went back to sleep for a while." (Part 2)


• Lost and Found, by Reven384 (part 6): "She didn’t think she’d ever get off this island. She’d long since given up hope. There was a short period since that day that she allowed herself to hope again, but that was quickly squashed as she realized she had no way of gathering logs big enough to create a raft. She was stuck on this island."


• Man To Man (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I'm you, Jake. The only difference between us is that I had two little girls, and you had a boy and girl.' 'Where you come from, Darius was a girl? Makes sense-' (fhbbbit-!) 'F**K! You shot me in the leg!'"


• Memory's Ashes (IC/Looking For: Daria/Burnout (Jennifer) Fics), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stood on the stage, making final checks on her equipment, when she noticed a pair of familiar glasses out of the corner of one eye. Jennifer looked around, and there was Daria. Their eyes met, and for just a moment, the world froze."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 17): "Once her immediate security was assured, the first thing she noticed was just how normal this place was, with an assortment of decorations that went from the expensive and tasteful to a few handmade articles that could only be considered as tacky, yet they were prominently displayed in the living room. Scattered they were many pictures of the family that lived here, some of those were hers, and always with an annoyed face, and so incredibly unphotogenic."


• Prelude to The Avengers Part One: Origins, by Reven384 (part 4): "Quinn was scared, and she did something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She froze. She just laid there flat on her back unable to move. Unable to think. She was paralyzed by fear."


• Psycho Stacy meets Cannon Stacy (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Psycho Stacy looked at her counter part. They were so alike in so many ways, or at least they used to be before she took command of her life. It was amazing what power tools and a cattle prod could do for one's self esteem."


• Red Squared (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So... tell me more about this Legion thing you're in. Is it better than the Fashion Club, and what's your beauty budget, and do you have the cute little baby-T on under that uniform, because while that looks SO comfy I still just love my Baby-t, and oh, the way that the boys look at me! I know that you have cute boys just dying to take you out from all over - French guys, Spanish guys or Italian guys, which ones are hotter, I KNOW that you've gotten to go to some really nice restaurants, and if you've been in France, did you get any nice scarves?'"


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (parts 6 and 7): "At this point all she could do was deal with what had been handed to her, and then wait for a better chance to work on rebuilding her popularity, it had taken far too many hits as it was. 'Preferably by making people see Daria for what she really is,' Quinn fumed to herself in cold fury, 'An evil slutty bitch!'" (Part 7)


• A Small White Stick, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn, have you been using a pregnancy test?' 'What? What are you talking about? 'A PREGNANCY test. You know, one of those foot-long tubes with a sensitive point that you dip in urine to see if you’re expecting? Knocked up? Preggers? With child?' she interrupted herself as she saw Quinn’s revolted face." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• The Stranger from a Dream (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by oni (COMPLETE!): "'Was it really worth it, Sandi?' Being startled by the voice, Sandi gets off her bed and looks around; trying to find the source of the voice. With anger, Sandi asked, 'Um, who’s in my room?' The large mirror that sat in the corner of her room, lit up. In its bright glowing state, a figure pushed their self on through. At first Sandi didn’t recognize the person, but as the being was almost through, she realized that she was looking at herself."


• Strangers in the Night (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Trent recoiled from his other as if struck. He had gotten a bad vibe off of his doppelganger right at first sight, but brushed it off as willies from seeing somebody who was, for all intents and purposes, himself. But that was no longer the case: it was actually a monster who wore a man's face."


• The Switch (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck had to suppress the urge to start screaming. He wasn't in the compact anymore. He was meeting his counterpart from Dariaverse Prime. Still all that time alone in the dark was horrible. He shivered at the thought of it and smiled. He'd have what he wanted soon enough."


• Tom Meets Tom (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well,' the other Tom said hesitantly, 'Your family seems ok, for old money types like mine were...' 'Were?' Tom asked quietly, 'Did something happen to the fortune in your life?' 'No.' the other Tom said flatly, 'However recently... Mom admitted to cheating on Dad and that I'm not actually... His son.'"


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (part 6): "Ronnie then turned on the radio and found an alt rock station, which was playing an older Tom Petty tune at the moment. Daria glanced at him and said, 'Is this for my benefit or do you like this sort of music?' 'I do actually,' Ronnie replied, 'Like alt rock I mean.' Then while the pair quizzed each other on their tastes in music, the rumor mill of the LHS student body was spinning out of control."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): "Her sparkling personality held him in thrall. She was like sunlight glimmering on water. A burst of light in a deep darkness. Or any other ridiculous simile to describe the balm to his weary soul."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'You may call me Ms Thomasina Sloane.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Benedika,' the throaty voice of the immensely overweight woman said, 'For some reason not many people know it.' For once, the woman everyone seemed to only call Ms. Johanssen wasn't wearing a mummu and slippers, but instead a plus sized gown that actually made her reasonable to look at."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'NO!' screamed Skylar, sick to his soul. 'It can't be! I-I-I refuse to believe that I'm a rapist in half the known multiverse--'" (Part 2 by Brother Grimace


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'What the f@#%? Did a f@#%ing Junior Bloody Five explode?' Killer Quinn said."

National Chocolate Eclair Day, Hooray!

Today is the birthday of NBC and MTV personality Carson Daly, who voiced the character of David Sorenson on Is It Fall Yet? Happy 36th, dude.

The International Committee for Adding Useless Holidays to the Calendar has declared that today is also National Chocolate Eclair Day, but no one wrote down how we are to celebrate it. Alas! Guess you should go have yourself a doughnut.

Off the top of my head, only one Daria fanfic had anything to do with chocolate eclairs. That was this one. Bon appetit.

NEWZ: Doggieboy's turn at the Iron Chef wheel, as he presents three new challenges for the Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux!

The "Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread" was just given a boost by newcomer Trscroggs, who has lots of wild new ideas for Daria fanfiction. Check it out.


FF.net

• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 19): Daria slipped out of bed, her eyes shut against the morning and against the sound of a hair dryer running at its highest setting. She assumed correctly that she wouldn’t be allowed into the bathroom anytime soon. With this in mind, she dragged on the familiar outfit that she wore daily. Over the past few weeks, Jane had been working. And Trent had been working. The notion completely ruined her mind: two people who seemed entirely timeless were actually sticking to a timed schedule.

PPMB

• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): “Everything is going to be okay,” Lynn said gently. She was half carrying Ronnie as they slipped out of the building and into the alley. The drug that had been used on the younger girl was still playing havoc with her system, causing her to stumble every couple of steps.
• Going Over Viagra Falls, or: Do You Feel a Draft? by TAG (COMPLETE!): “I must say I'm honored you've chosen to spend your valuable Saturday night with me,” said Jane as she walked up to the table and took a seat across from her dour friend. “What happened, amiga? Did you get a night off from nursing duty?”
• Helen Morgendorffer's Secret Past, by Kangaballs (Part 1): [Continued from here] "I'm sorry I talked you into the extacy, but honestly I really believe you have a chance with my brother. You two fit, you mesh well together, and you bring out the best in that lazy bum. I've seen you with him for years now, and I know the way you look at him, and the way you think. I also know that my brother may always be some mediocre band player for the rest of his life and never do anything else or have much of a rich future, but I truly believe you wouldn't judge him for that, and you are the only one that I'd trust wouldn't break his heart and leave him lonely forever."
  
• A Little Dab Will Do Ya, by Kangaballs (COMPLETE!): Daria woke up in a bed that she was not familiar with, and with dread filling her brain she looked under the covers to reveal that she had been sleeping completely naked. Ice shards of fear shot through her as intense as the blinding headache that she'd been feeling since she opened her eyes.
• M4, by Silver (COMPLETE!): The doors to Lawndale High School swing open. A young man enters. His name is unimportant. The fact the metal detectors start howling is. He raises the pistol in his hand, and cuts down the security guard. The guard manages to trigger the alarm anyways.
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (Part 13): The whole room seemed to move in slow motion, from the moment Tom had slipped to the echoing shotgun that had brought complete silence to the mall less than a minute had passed. Three figures stood out against the sea of crouched bodies near the safety railing on the top floor. They watched as time seemed to return to a normal pace and the people began to move as the understanding that something terrible had just happened began to sink in.
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "But I swear," Tom said desperately as he pulled against his restraints, "I thought she was a feral pig eating a cow!"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux), by Derek (COMPLETE!): "In other news, the Morgendorffer sex scandal took a new turn today..."
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), Angelboy (Part 1, I hope!): Jane looked at the old picture from her high-school yearbook. She could have sworn that she had been sitting with Daria when that picture was taken, but there was no Daria in the picture. Flipping through the book, she frowned seeing that Daria wasn't in there at all.
• Unnamed story (Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs (Part 1, I hope!): Jane Lane walked morosely down the corridor after the school wide ‘mandatory’ memorial for Tommy Sherman. As she had expected, the memorial glossed over almost everything about Tommy, leaving only that he played football for the glory of Lawndale. She walked casually up to her locker, but checked to make sure she was alone before speaking to the open air. “Did you have something to do with this?”
  

Guest stars (dim stars, at that)

The "lost" flipbook called "Guestward Ho!" turns out to have had characters that we pretty much all know about. (The flipbook went on this page in the MTV site.) However, it is helpful to note the CORRECT spelling of some minor characters' names (Alison with one L, Luhrman with one N, etc.). This page was also archived on April 28, 2001. (Italics mine.) Note that "balloonist" is misspelled. (I discovered a number of misspellings on the old websites, but too late to do anything about it now.)

1. ARNO THE BALLONIST—He is not a hoppy thing! He is not Swedish! He is not Norwegian! He's from Denmark and don't you forget it! Oh, yeah, he's the balloonist in "Of Human Bonding."
2. BRAD AND BRETT—These carriers of the dreaded Ruttheimer gene (they're Upchuck's cousins) make a valiant attempt to pick up Daria and Jane in the bleachers of the "Daria Dance Party." Thank the dating gods the girls found out in time.
3. JORDANA—In "The Daria Hunter," this deluded dame runs a tourist trap and is obsessed with the Great White Shark. Are her amazing adventures a Great White Lie?
4. LUHRMAN—This deadpan dreamboat was Daria's date for her cousin Erin's wedding. Did she miss the boat? Was Luhrman really the perfect man for her? We say "no" and forever hold our peace.
5. DAVID SORENSON—In Is It Fall Yet? Quinn whiles away her afternoons live with her tutor, David Sorenson. So how appropriate that TRL-meister Carson Daly provided his voice.
6. AXL—He's the tattoo parlor proprietor whose two-for-one special prompted Daria to violate her navel in "Pierce Me." Well, maybe Trent's eyes had something to do with it. Additional trivia: He charged eleven bucks.
7. TRICIA AND TAD GUPTY—Daria de-programs these well-behaved tykes in "Pinch Sitter." They're based on real kids writer Anne D. Bernstein used to baby-sit for. The only snack food in the house was unsalted sunflower seeds.
8. BING AND THE SPATULA MAN—Dan Vebber created these radio mock jocks for "Jake of Hearts." He says they're based on Buck and O'Connor, who had a morning show on Z-95, a rock station in Milwaukee, in the early 1980s.
9. THE CHEESE LADY—In "Mart of Darkness," this poor soul has to defend her calcium-rich wares from the likes of both Mr. DeMartino and Mrs. Johanssen. A sharpened toothpick proved useless.
10. ALISON—She was Jane's bisexual art colony pal in Is It Fall Yet? Jane was struck dumb, Allison struck out, and singer Bif Naked struck a chord when she provided the sultry voice.
11. BROOKE—She almost made it into the Fashion Club in "Too Cute" after having fat sucked out of her butt and injected into her lips. But then there was that unfortunate nasal relapse.
12. GENERAL BUCK CONROY—He was the ultra-mercenary big mouth who marched into "This Year's Model." Still not half as scary as Romanica.
13. VAL—The hip magazine editor from "The Lost Girls" doesn't look a day over how old she was 10 years ago. Reminiscent of a real-life editor who named a magazine and a talk show after herself. (But her name has four letters, so it's so totally not her!)
14. DANIEL DOTSON—While looking over his lines as the opportunistic artist in "Is It Fall Yet?," Foo Fighters' David Grohl exclaimed, "God, I'm such a sleaze!" We think he was talking about the character.
15. MINSTREL JOCK—Sure, he only has one line in "Fair Enough," but he's a minstrel jock! What more could you ask for?
16. DOCTOR SHAR—The surgically enhanced plastic surgeon from "Too Cute." Gee, it's hard to depict cosmetic surgery in a cartoon character. That must be why Courtney Love hasn't guested on "Cat Dog."
17. LINK—The disgruntled camper from Is It Fall Yet? Oh, grow up, you're on TV."

You can make up your own controversies about these guys. Interesting where Tad and Tricia came from, though. I used to listen to Z-95 when I lived in Milwaukee some years ago. Huh.

Random Fanfic Idea #11

What if while David was tutoring Quinn in Is It Fall Yet? Quinn was attacked by the plant sitting by the dinner table because the plant was actually a triffid and it wanted to eat her brain but David fought it and Quinn escaped and they ran outside and found the house was surrounded by triffids and everyone in Lawndale was being eaten by them but David and Quinn got lawnmowers and attacked the triffids and managed to mow their way to Jane's house where they rescued Daria and Trent but Jane was eaten by triffids and the four survivors had to climb the roof of the Lane house to escape but they were picked up by a helicopter and taken to the high school where Ms. Li and the security guards were fighting off triffids with weedwackers and just as the helicopter got to the school Trent fell asleep and fell out of the helicopter and died and they landed on the roof of the school and shut all the doors and the helicopter flew away but had engine trouble and crashed and the pilot got eaten so we don't have to worry about giving him a name or anything and Daria and Quinn and David were stuck on the roof and had to live there and one day Daria kissed David and had to tell Quinn she kissed Quinn's boyfriend and Quinn went over to the other side of the roof and wouldn't speak to Daria for days until Daria and David starved to death and Quinn had to eat them to stay alive until another helicopter came to rescue her and she found she had lost four pounds and looked great? Wouldn't that be awesome?