Mightier Than the Sword

The beloved episode "Cafe Disaffecto" aired for the first time 13 years ago today, when Daria was able to spark an anti-Communist riot in Lawndale by the power of her writing. "The Lost Girls" appeared 11 years ago today, in which Daria was able to bring the notorious Val (as in Val) to Lawndale by the power of her writing. Maybe today should be a holiday for accomplishing things by writing something, the power of the pen and all that. Only what gets accomplished isn't what you thought would happen.

What else... today is the 21st anniversary of the Exxon Valdez oil spill, which destroyed Alaska and western Canada, plus parts of Siberia, but on the positive side it gave us "Just Add Water," in Daria's third season.

This is the 45th birthday of the WWE wrestler known as The Undertaker, portrayed here by Jesse Moreno (wonder why MTV like this wrestler so much); the 109th birthday anniversary of Ub Iwerks, legendary animator and creator of Mickey Mouse; and the 136th birthday anniversary of Harry Houdini, whom Charles Ruttheimer III imitated so well in "Life in the Past Lane." Plus it is also World Tuberculosis Day, relevant to a certain fanfiction character, and Kick Butts Day, relevant because some of Daria's high school classmates and teachers smoke (e.g., Burnout Chick, Mr. DeMartino).

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 38: Fractures, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): As Daria watched the three feuding Barksdale sisters continue their talk, she finally started to realize just what it was that was bothering her about this feud. It bothers me because it is stupid and pointless. But it’s also so familiar. Arguing over everything, nothing is sacred in a game of one-up. That’s not just Mom and her sisters. It’s me and Finn. That's... that's the future. And it... blows.
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 19): "Hell-oooooo!" The cry from upstairs was Helen Morgendorffer, bounding down stairs with Daria trailing behind her. "Elsie! Tom! Glad to see you again! Can I get you something to drink?" "Bourbon will be fine for me," said Tom with a smile. "Tom Collins, please," Daria said. "Nothing for me, if you don't mind," said Elsie. "I'm so close to my one month chip."
• Rocket Girls, by TAG (continued): “My mother wants meet you,” said Dora, searching in vain for the recently launched V-2. “She asks if you go to our house Saturday. She makes dinner.”
• NEW! Until You've Crossed, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): Jane frowned. She really didn't want to do anything with Tom, but here she was. Maybe she could make an excuse and get away, see if Daria was up for pizza or a movie. More likely, though, Tom would want to tag along. She'd probably just end up sitting on her butt listening to the two of them go on and on about foreign films and the minute meanings as the movies move from reality to fantasy and back again and what the things in the fantasy mean. Jane could only sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" in her head so many times before she wanted to kill the other two and then herself. Daria was out of the question.
  

There's Got to Be a Morning After...

I still don't know why they didn't play the theme song from The Poseidon Adventure when the Princess Fairy sank. Someone should rewrite "Just Add Water" (which premiered 10 years ago today) so it capsized from a rogue wave and everyone tries to escape the floating hull before it sinks.... BUT NO ONE DOES, HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Anyway, that episode borrowed a lot from the movie Titanic and the Exxon Valdez disaster. Some people think it borrowed more than that. The DariaWiki page needs some work, if anyone could help out with that.

Today is also the 14th anniversary of the completion of the Daria pilot, "Sealed with a Kick," and fanfic character Michael Fulton (of the Falling into College series) is 28 years old today.

How do you think "Just Add Water" could have been improved, or at least made more interesting? Using the Comments section, write down your suggestions for plot changes that would have helped. A giant squid might have helped.

Guest stars (dim stars, at that)

The "lost" flipbook called "Guestward Ho!" turns out to have had characters that we pretty much all know about. (The flipbook went on this page in the MTV site.) However, it is helpful to note the CORRECT spelling of some minor characters' names (Alison with one L, Luhrman with one N, etc.). This page was also archived on April 28, 2001. (Italics mine.) Note that "balloonist" is misspelled. (I discovered a number of misspellings on the old websites, but too late to do anything about it now.)

1. ARNO THE BALLONIST—He is not a hoppy thing! He is not Swedish! He is not Norwegian! He's from Denmark and don't you forget it! Oh, yeah, he's the balloonist in "Of Human Bonding."
2. BRAD AND BRETT—These carriers of the dreaded Ruttheimer gene (they're Upchuck's cousins) make a valiant attempt to pick up Daria and Jane in the bleachers of the "Daria Dance Party." Thank the dating gods the girls found out in time.
3. JORDANA—In "The Daria Hunter," this deluded dame runs a tourist trap and is obsessed with the Great White Shark. Are her amazing adventures a Great White Lie?
4. LUHRMAN—This deadpan dreamboat was Daria's date for her cousin Erin's wedding. Did she miss the boat? Was Luhrman really the perfect man for her? We say "no" and forever hold our peace.
5. DAVID SORENSON—In Is It Fall Yet? Quinn whiles away her afternoons live with her tutor, David Sorenson. So how appropriate that TRL-meister Carson Daly provided his voice.
6. AXL—He's the tattoo parlor proprietor whose two-for-one special prompted Daria to violate her navel in "Pierce Me." Well, maybe Trent's eyes had something to do with it. Additional trivia: He charged eleven bucks.
7. TRICIA AND TAD GUPTY—Daria de-programs these well-behaved tykes in "Pinch Sitter." They're based on real kids writer Anne D. Bernstein used to baby-sit for. The only snack food in the house was unsalted sunflower seeds.
8. BING AND THE SPATULA MAN—Dan Vebber created these radio mock jocks for "Jake of Hearts." He says they're based on Buck and O'Connor, who had a morning show on Z-95, a rock station in Milwaukee, in the early 1980s.
9. THE CHEESE LADY—In "Mart of Darkness," this poor soul has to defend her calcium-rich wares from the likes of both Mr. DeMartino and Mrs. Johanssen. A sharpened toothpick proved useless.
10. ALISON—She was Jane's bisexual art colony pal in Is It Fall Yet? Jane was struck dumb, Allison struck out, and singer Bif Naked struck a chord when she provided the sultry voice.
11. BROOKE—She almost made it into the Fashion Club in "Too Cute" after having fat sucked out of her butt and injected into her lips. But then there was that unfortunate nasal relapse.
12. GENERAL BUCK CONROY—He was the ultra-mercenary big mouth who marched into "This Year's Model." Still not half as scary as Romanica.
13. VAL—The hip magazine editor from "The Lost Girls" doesn't look a day over how old she was 10 years ago. Reminiscent of a real-life editor who named a magazine and a talk show after herself. (But her name has four letters, so it's so totally not her!)
14. DANIEL DOTSON—While looking over his lines as the opportunistic artist in "Is It Fall Yet?," Foo Fighters' David Grohl exclaimed, "God, I'm such a sleaze!" We think he was talking about the character.
15. MINSTREL JOCK—Sure, he only has one line in "Fair Enough," but he's a minstrel jock! What more could you ask for?
16. DOCTOR SHAR—The surgically enhanced plastic surgeon from "Too Cute." Gee, it's hard to depict cosmetic surgery in a cartoon character. That must be why Courtney Love hasn't guested on "Cat Dog."
17. LINK—The disgruntled camper from Is It Fall Yet? Oh, grow up, you're on TV."

You can make up your own controversies about these guys. Interesting where Tad and Tricia came from, though. I used to listen to Z-95 when I lived in Milwaukee some years ago. Huh.

Avast and Ahoy There!

"Just Add Water" was aired for the first time nine years ago today, near the end of the third season. Though it has not been counted as anyone's favorite episode, one thing you can say about it: Tom Sloane is nowhere in sight. This was the last pre-Tom episode.

It appears that "Just Add Water" was derived from two major sources: the 1997 movie Titanic and the 1989 Exxon Valdez disaster. The parallels between the Princess Fairy's drunken captain and the Exxon Valdez's drunken ship's master, Joseph Hazelwood, have been commented on before. The Titanic link, with the standing-on-the-bow-railing scene (marvelously interrupted by Janet Barch, who has a great part here), is also pretty clear. Daria and Jane, though, do nothing. It fits their character, but it's disappointing nonetheless.

Too bad about Kevin and Brittany, stuck in open waters in that creaky lifeboat with no oars during a violent thunderstorm. Someone needs to write an AU in which they . . . well, you get the idea.

Sixteen years ago this day, the Mall of America was opened, the very structure that just about almost probably certainly gave birth to the Mall of the Millennium in Daria. Even the internal diagrams are similar.

The pilot episode for Daria, "Sealed with a Kick," was completed thirteen years ago today. Speaking of the pilot, a very curious observation has been made about a possible connection between Daria and the movie called Welcome to the Dollhouse. Click here and see what you think of it.

The Exxon Valdez = The Princess Fairy?

Nineteen years ago today, the drunken captain of the gigantic oil tanker Exxon Valdez ran his ship aground, spilled his cargo, and destroyed Alaska (or a large part of it, anyway). This event was probably the inspiration for the Daria episode, "Just Add Water." Was Captain Hazelwood the model for Captain Nelson (at right)? You decide.

In the fandom, the question about Daria websites having any updates soon has been answered. Outpost Daria and Lawndale Online are both ready for action, but first they need SUBMISSIONS. Meaning, you have to write them and send them in. NOW. Richard Lobinske has prepared a helpful tutorial called "Preparing Simple HTML Files for Fan Fiction," located on PPMB Creative Writing forum.

Roentgen has designed a tidy table of Daria episodes with basic information on each for DariaWiki. Kudos to him for the excellent work. ("Kudos" is an Australian word meaning "more beer.") Almost up to 1,700 articles! Who will hit the magic number?

The newest creation from Fortress CINCGREEN is a look at Jodie and Mack, and their roles in Daria as "background color" (pun intended, sorry). I really liked this essay, an excellent probe into what each one of the two is really doing on the show. Jodie's analysis is especially revealing, a cautionary tale for Daria and those like her.

In the news, there's mention of Daria in an article on spin-offs, on a website devoted to Athens, Georgia. The website has one of those semi-unfortunate names that trick the eye (www.athensexchange.com). Get it? Huh huh huh huh huh.....

Um, more updates, then.


PPMB

• The Cynic, The Fashionista and The Jackass, by Doggieboy (Part 11): Sandi glared at Daria and said, “Like, you killed my manicurist!” (See also SFMB.)
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes, Volume Two, by Brother Grimace (LLH 12.6 – ‘Bop Till You Drop, Part I’): And bop they certainly do, loud enough to break eardrums. Well worth the wait, BG.
  
• Mental in the Morning, by Cypher (continued): Daria and Upchuck experiment a little, then consider inviting Stacy to join them. No, seriously.

SFMB

• A Little Vacation, by Doggieboy (Part 16): The cross-universal tale continues.

I'm toying with the idea of creating another "Fanworks Conventions" page on DariaWiki devoted to mysteries, spy thrillers, and other action/adventure fanfics. They date back to the start of the fandom, as far as I can tell. More later if I get going on this.

LATE ADD: A Louisiana State University opinion about the lamentable state of MTV, with mention of a familiar name. We know how you feel.