Hi-Yo, Mack Daddy!

Mack is celebrating the anniversary of "The Lone Ranger," which debuted as a radio show on this day in 1930. Unfortunately, if he thinks that mask is going to hide his identity from Kevin and thus offer him any peace, he's going to be disappointed.

If anyone wants any ideas for observing National Inane Answering Message Day, Upchuck has a few options:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

On second thought, you'd better just come up with your own. Upchuck's are a little too inane.

Fandom News!

• Remember to submit your nominations for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• An amateur astronomer mistook Elon Musk's orbiting Tesla for an asteroid recently.


• cortez suggests that the pictures we see at the end of the Daria episodes are actually parallel universe counterparts.

Pop Goes the Artist

Daria has decided to celebrate Pop Art Day by creating her own knock-off featuring Jane. This will be a relief to Jane, who has painted more than her share of knock-offs and will be happy to take a break.

I'm sure Jane would rather celebrate the anniversary of Jackson Pollock's birth on this day in 1912, anyway. I'm sure it wouldn't be necessary to decorate the entire high school gym, though, as once was certainly enough.

Finally, let's wish Daria's favorite aunt a happy National Amy Day, and let's hope she's able to take another fun vacation to make Helen sick with jealousy. Especially if she's able to get Ralph Fiennes to join her.

Fanfic Update!

• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 25): "Kristoff grew exhasperated as the Trolls continued to try to pair him with Anna. (Although some were also looking at Lena.)"


• I'm Sure Now, by goodmorninggrayson (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe couldn't stop herself from staring at the alluringly confident Quinn Morgendorffer on the hot pink towel with a smiling sun with black dots for eyes that they currently shared since Quinn had forgotten hers."


• Spider Quinn 14 Battle and Consequence, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The Griffins were running late. Tom, Linda and Sandi were ready, but Sam and Chris were dragging their heels."

Is It a G'Day?

I don't think Daria is feeling too impressed by Australia Day, but considering she's not Australian I suppose that's only natural. Then again, maybe she's just heard a few too many Crocodile Dundee jokes and is getting fed up with them.

To any married Daria fans, whether or not you're Australian, have a happy Spouse’s Day! Jake and Helen might take a few moments to greet each other today, but I wouldn't count on too much quality time from either of them.

Honestly, maybe we should all just indulge our sweet tooths and celebrate National Peanut Brittle Day instead. I'm sure Trent would be happy to comply, as he's been known to let peanuts hijack his brain.

Fandom News!

• Please don't forget to nominate for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Discuss television producers whose influence is still felt to this day.


• cortez suggests an alternative rift between Daria and Jane.

They're Just Nuts about Nuts!

Jane is having second thoughts about celebrating National Peanut Butter Day, but I'm sure Daria is relieved to be rid of the thing. Let's hope Trent doesn't smell the peanuts, or else his brain will get hijacked again. Moth to a flame. Et cetera.

The least Jane could do is cheer Daria up with a nice comment in honor of Compliment Day. Perhaps she could praise the peanut butter stain on the back of Daria's pants, or the adorable way she blushes whenever Trent speaks to her. I suspect both remarks would be equally welcome.

Someone should say something encouraging to Mr. DeMartino, too, because it's International Day of Education and I think he could use a little inspiration if he wants to face another classroom full of imbecilic morons. Or is it moronic imbeciles?

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I think Mr. DeMartino waited too long to observe Come in From the Cold Day, but now that he's inside he'll hopefully thaw quickly. I'm going to celebrate by not going out into the cold in the first place if I can possibly help it, and I hope you all stay warm if you can!

Jane and Trent's father is probably outdoors taking photographs, but it may not be cold wherever he is because he could be anywhere in the world. That's okay, though, because it's National Vincent Day and he can celebrate however he wants. Just as long as he keeps his dangerous chemicals out of reach of anyone who might accidentally drink them.

Someone should tell Mrs. Johansen that it's National Polka Dot Day and she can wear her dress with pride. Unless she's already taken Quinn's advice about the vertical stripes.

Fandom News!

• The deadline for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards has been extended. Please nominate if you can!

What Kind of Bird Snuff Film Is This?

Note that this is not the recommended way to celebrate Penguin Awareness Day, but you can't deny that this image is difficult to ignore. I would like to wish certain members of fandom that shall remain nameless a great day!

Speaking of unpleasant things, today is National Charlie Day so maybe we could celebrate by not calling Upchuck by his usual nickname. Then again, if he decides to observe National DJ Day as well, then I make no promises.

In fact, once Upchuck turns his personality on overdrive it might be best for everyone else to celebrate Take A Walk Outdoors Day. I'm sure Mr. DeMartino will be happy to join in, because he's always up for a hike!

Fanfic Update!

• Casual, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was somewhere around dusk and Lawndale's spoiled rich boy, Tom Sloane, parked his shitty car in front of the curb of Casa Lane."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "It took a couple of group therapy sessions and hours of debate, but Daria, Quinn and Helen found that there was one thing they could agree on. They all liked to watch The Saturday Sinful Cinema with Lazarus."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "Freya burst out of her room shortly after 8 o'clock. 'Today is a new day!'"


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn felt the tingle as she entered the dining room, where Daria had laid out the documents she had obtained with the fourth vigilante two nights before."


• Teddy the Time Bomb, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Teddy was now stuck in the principal's office because he'd written a short story for language arts that the teacher found disturbing." (Part 3)

The Many Pitfalls of Caffeine

Daria is enjoying a nice mug of coffee that may or may not be gourmet in honor of National Gourmet Coffee Day, but don't let Quinn catch her drinking it. She'll expound at length on the horrors of dark circles until the coffee is cold.

Can anyone think of any good synonyms for coffee? It's Thesaurus Day and I'd hate to feel that my vocabulary was lacking, flawed, meager, deficient, or inadequate.

On this day in 2002, Daria was featured in an article in Animation Magazine. It looked back at the show's run and discussed the Is It College Yet? movie, and ended on a hopeful note for the show in syndication...which may have been more optimistic than it should have been.

Fandom News!

• If you're going to nominate for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards, you'd better do it soon, because the deadline is tomorrow!


• R.I.P., David Lynch.

Now THAT'S a Dragon Lady!

I don't think anyone's going to risk ignoring Appreciate a Dragon Day, especially with that angry expression on Brittany's face. I'm sure Kevin will find some way to piss her off, though, most likely by cheating on her. With a wyvern.

The good news is that Kevin probably will taste good, especially once she burns him to a crisp. While the snack will certainly be hot, if Brittany wants to celebrate International Hot and Spicy Food Day then she should talk to Jake about borrowing some of his pepper.

Daria, meanwhile, will most likely avoid all of the drama entirely and celebrate National Nothing Day instead. She would do well to remember her own advice: "the negative, which is the nothingness of being and the annihilating power both together, is nothingness."

Fanfic Update!

• The Feast of Lupercal, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Saavik was stepping out of the bathroom and doing up the buttons on her shirt when she smelled what was most definitely coffee."


• Reboot, by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane woke up in his dorm room at Bromwell. It was the 11,789th time he had done so."


• Teddy the Time Bomb, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Quinn and Jim's son, Teddy, is walking towards his locker at school. Upon reaching said locker, he sighs."

A Shocking Way to Celebrate!

Mr. DeMartino is clearly regretting his decision to celebrate International Kite Day during a thunderstorm, but on the bright side he just discovered a cheap method of resuscitating himself if he suffers another heart attack. If you fly a kite today, please be safe and also watch out for kite-eating trees!

I hope Quinn realizes that, even though it's National Shop For Travel Day, she should exercise restraint and--ha, I'm just kidding. Quinn has no idea how to not shop. At the very least, I hope she doesn't allow her travel gear to replace life-saving supplies.

On this day in 2002, the "Look Back In Annoyance" aired on MTV. It was a half-hour retrospective of the show, but Daria put it much more succinctly as "a cheap-ass clip show."

Fandom News!

• Time is running out to nominate for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards!

A Pint-Sized "Nope."

Young Daria is absolutely not happy about celebrating National Youth Day, but that's okay because Young Quinn is happy enough for both of them. In fact, Young Quinn might be happy enough for the entire world. I'm a little worried that she might explode from joy.

If Daria were feeling affectionate (which is a very big "if" that isn't likely to happen), then she could observe Kiss a Ginger Day. Given the choice, I think she'd be better off kissing Quinn than the other infamous ginger on the show...Upchuck.

Helen, meanwhile, will probably be celebrating neither of those holidays because it's Work Harder Day and that's all the excuse she needs. Then again, I'm not sure if it's physically possible for her to work any harder than she usually does without the use of cloning technology.

Fanfic Update!

• A Real American, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Jim was with Tony, Eric, Wayne, Bud and Chuck at the shooting range. Jim squeezed off a few rounds from his Beretta handgun."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "After finishing her shift, Quinn went up to the roof. But before she changed to SpiderGirl, she looked around at the town."

Helen Would Be So Proud

I don't think that Quinn is having a very good National Shareholders Day, but her employees are having an even worse one. I'd like to imagine that in this scenario Quinn and Sandi are competing business magnates within the same field, each intent on beating the other.

I suppose today would be a good day for these poor terrified souls to consider finding a new job, and not just because it's Quitters Day. This should be a familiar situation for Quinn, who once quit the Fashion Club (although it was under a massive guilt trip) and triggered a total collapse of the club as a result.

Speaking of the Fashion Club, it's also Peculiar People Day and I encourage all of you to be just as peculiar as you want! This should be no problem for Lawndale, which seems to be entirely populated by the most peculiar people you've ever met.

Fandom News!

• Remember to nominate for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Discuss Justin Trudeau stepping down as leader of the Liberal Party and Prime Minister of Canada.

The King He Is Not

Trent is trying out a new style of music in honor of the anniversary of Elvis Presley's birth on this day in 1935. Unfortunately for Trent, Elvis had actual musical talent, so the homage isn't likely to go very well.

Even so, I expect he'll keep Daria's attention and not just because it's Male Watcher's Day. Jane will probably join in if any cute boys happen by, but only because she's thinking of buying those shoes.

Be sure to dust off those QWERTY skills because it's Typing Day and I want those keys to start clicking! Jake might get distracted by the Panda Cam, but I have no doubt that Quinn will use her favorite emojis: Smiley face, surprised face, wink!

Fanfic Update!

• 15 Years On, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "Even five feet from the mountain's base, Daria wouldn't have guessed there was any sort of usable entrance to a cave system, except for the few traces of footprints in the meager gravel (most of the area was bare rock) leading into a small indentation in the rock face."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The previews for the art house movie theater are pretty basic and flash across the screen, advertising local businesses and coming features. Tom and Daria are the only ones in the theater."


• A Real American, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Jim was angrily pounding on the door to his father's apartment. The reason for Jim's anger was his recent discovery of his true origin."


• The Trials of Miss Morgendorffer, by TrentMckay (COMPLETE!): "The town of Lawndale, nestled among the rolling hills and bramble-choked woods of New England, was not a place for the faint of heart."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Sandi Griffin was dead. 'That was to be expected,' she thought. 'Can't live forever, although I was hoping that they would cure that.'"

Awwwwwww!

Helen and Jake are just adorable together for Cuddle Up Day, and they look so happy that it's easy to recognize this as a fantasy sequence rather than real life. I would like to think that Helen and Jake do have their moments of calm and togetherness, at least in between the phone calls from work and rants about childhood.

When they're done with their one-on-one time, they could spend some quality time with Quinn by taking her out for lunch and listening to her poetry in honor of National Take a Poet to Lunch Day! She could even regale them with the greasy fry poem.

Daria, however, would far rather be burned at the stake like Joan of Arc, who was born on this day in 1412. I'm not sure if the prospect of spending time with her family or listening to bad poetry is worse to her, but either one would drive her to, in her own words, order a stake.

Fandom News!

• E. A. Smith wonders how authors deal with bad reviews.


• What is the stupidest rule in sports?


• Nominations for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards are open!

Don't Let It Oxidize!

Jake has many regrets, and only the least of them is that he prepared penne on National Spaghetti Day. Trent will be disappointed, too, because spaghetti (or anything similar to it) is his favorite.

Daria and Jane, meanwhile, might spend some time sharing information about the Middle Ages in honor of Trivia Day. No one said that the information had to be accurate, after all.

If they do spend any time at a Medieval fair or any other school event, though, I hope they stay alert because it's World Hypnotism Day and Ms. Li might decide to go behind simple subliminal messages. They don't want to be tithing their earnings to Lawndale High for the rest of their lives.

Fanfic Update!

• 15 Years On, by DrT9999 (part 2): "General John Springfield was not happy, and when a two star general is not happy, his aides and others around him become nervous."


• Daria Considers Change, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "Silence reigned in Jane's bedroom for a moment."


• Daria's Rugrats (IC Runaway Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Soon, three year old Angelica and her father, Drew, had arrived. She walked over to the playpen area."


• fall in love with a girl, by bea0e (COMPLETE!): "Come on, Jane, you know you’re better than this."


• A Real American, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Jim, Jamie, Chuck and Chris were in Kevin's driveway while Kevin showed off the new license plate on his Dodge Ram."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "SpiderGirl and Ninja Talon approached the Oscorp office space from an alleyway."

No One Will Be Saluting Him

On the one hand, I think that someone should explain to Upchuck that Run it up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes It Day isn't meant to be taken literally, and you aren't supposed to run yourself up there. On the other hand, while he's up there he won't be bothering anyone, so maybe we should just let him stay right where he is.

Actually, this would be an interesting way to celebrate World Introvert Day, because there's only room for one person up there so there's no need to worry about being overwhelmed by other people. Daria would be happy enough up there as long as she was able to bring a book.

I hope she chooses a book by Isaac Asimov, because it's both the anniversary of his birth and National Science Fiction Day. Instead of reading a science fiction story, though, Daria could recreate the alien space babes look with Jane. It's probably safe to do so with Upchuck stuck on top of a flagpole.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Maggie Simpson and Stewie Griffin.


• R.I.P., Jimmy Carter and Linda Lavin.


• The 2024 Daria Fanfiction list has been posted.


• cortez is skeptical about Quinn remaining friends with Sandi in the finale.