Or You Could Hug an Australian Tree!

I don't think Arbor Day feels very appreciated right now, but that just might be because people keep picking on his sandals. Why not cheer him up by planting a tree and/or memorial crutch?

If you're not into tree-hugging, how about hugging an Australian for Hug an Australian Day? I would, but Australia is about a 24-hour trip from me, so I'd get there tomorrow. Or would it be yesterday? Time zones are weird.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 60 and 61): "The following day was Sunday. Daria begged off Farrah's invitation to return to the ranch and help with spring shearing." (Part 61)


• Daria the Vampire Slayer: Hell Comes To Texas, by Charles RB (parts 4 and 5): "A side effect of fighting a vampire and seeing a man be shot dead in front of you turned out to be actual parenting, as her mother actually came over despite it being before 8PM in a wailing and crying about her poor daughter." (Part 5)


• Dirty Little Secret (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Sandi and Quinn are trying to revive an unconscious Jim. Quinn: Jim! Jim, wake up! Sandi shakes him. Sandi: Jim, come on!"


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 29): "After much self-doubt, Daria finally worked up the courage to walk up to Butt-head in the playground."


• Nothing Else Matters, by YouthofOz (parts 28 - 34): "Penny ignored any changes made to Lawndale since she was last there, always assuming she noticed them. The night painted most of the houses and buildings black to match her mood." (Part 29) (Part 30) (Part 31) (Part 32) (Part 33) (Part 34)


• Thrill of the Fall, by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "It had taken three more drinks and a lot of cajoling but Tom finally agreed to go on stage." (Part 5)

Don't Worry, Arbor Day, Your Sandals Aren't That Bad!

Happy Arbor Day! It's a great holiday for all the tree-huggers out there, although it might be better if you planted it instead. Better a tree than a crutch, anyway!

Today is also Tell a Story Day, so if you know any good stories about trees then today is the perfect day to tell them. If you prefer, you could tell a story about Cinderella's clunky silver and gold dress or the witch who ate Hansel and Gretel, because if there's one thing Daria characters love, it's telling warped versions of fairy tales.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 5): "'I have two econ problem sets and a paper on Kerouac that I have to get to the delivery guy by 9:00 P.M.... and then, I quit.' 'But you're just getting started.' 'I already feel burned out on college and I'm still in high school.'"


• An Experemantal School (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, the newcomers. It's me, the student council president Daria Morgendorffer. Some months ago, we had some problems with the budget leaks, but now everything is OK and we are a part of a big federal experiment, sponsored by some TNC."


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 5): "Some rules jump right past stupid into inane, Quinn thought, as she was forced to use a wheelchair to leave the hospital for absolutely no reason."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 8): "As she read the morning paper over the breakfast table, Helen shook her head, 'They're closing down the coffeehouse? Extreme right-wing elements?'"


• Skeletons (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Sandi and Quinn catching up over coffee. Sandi seems unusually happy. Sandi: ...so even though I have an AA I can't find a job. It sucks that I have to keep stripping." (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2 - "Spring Ball"), by Roentgen (part 119): "Hector Turco adjusted his 'cover', the cap that every cadet at USAES wore. He was wearing his Class A uniform. Blue jacket with brass buttons, white gloves, 'Marine Style' insignia (adjusted to USAES rank, wearing two gold chevrons over a red field with no rocker as if he were some imaginary Corporal First Class), dark blue slacks with red trim. It would be the same uniform he'd wear on the parade ground on the second day of June."

Dances with Trees

Daria's reluctantly celebrating International Dance Day, although I give her about ten seconds before the lion gets a good, solid kick someplace unpleasant. I could never figure out why (spoiler alert) Mr. O'Neill kept singling Daria out, but maybe it's better not to think too much about it.

Today is also Arbor Day, so take the opportunity to plant a tree. Or a memorial crutch. Your choice.

Fanfic Update!

• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 11): "'Feeling bad about not feeling worse equals good,' Trent read from one of Daria's notebooks when they were giving their fingers a break."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 4b): "His last interview with Miss Boudreaux cost him any confidence in her competence. He went to one of her supervisors and demanded and got a new senior investigator."


• Lawndale Z, by Kuriamo22 (part 7): "The last thing Jake remembered was excrutiating pain in his chest, and then the ground coming up to hit him. Then blackness, and then here he was standing on a stone path surrounded by clouds."


• Stones Have a Way, by EntrancedCat (part 6): "'Oh no, Berit, too bad,' Quinn said as Berit opened the little Mystery Date door. 'You drew the dud dude. You lose.'"

Hugging Both Trees and Australians!

Today is Arbor Day, so get out there and hug a tree. Or, better yet, plant one! Holiday Island Arbor Day would also like to know if his sandals really look that bad.

This is also Hug an Australian Day, so all those Daria fans from down under had better start running. O'Neill's looking pretty touchy-feely today.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "He gives me one of those looks that says 'you're seriously asking me that? Really?' and I finally get what he's trying to say. 'Oh my God, are you saying he has a job for me?"


• Almost Like Depth, by SacredDust (part 1): "Forest green! Now that was something she didn't see enough of. Like trees and leaves...and her sister's jacket. I wonder where Daria is now, she thought."


• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 6): "'Nothing in particular, I came here to make a donation.' Hearing those words Angela had to restrain herself from jumping on the Adonis she had in front of her, tear off his clothes and own him in any way permitted by physical laws."


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 7): "'He doesn't know what it means...' An old woman screamed as the last seconds of her life flew by, as she was hurled through the air."


• The Double-Crossed Girls, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'No.' Sandi moved to stand in front of Val. Stacy, now leaning against a set of lockers and beginning to breathe normally, froze in fear at Sandi's dangerous tone. 'But--' Brittany gave Sandi her best puppy-dog eyes. In return, Sandi gave Brittany her best 'I will tear your pigtails right out of your scalp' glare. 'Get. Lost.'" (Part 3)


• Fate/Lawndale Codes, by Silver (part 4): "Lancer, for his part, looked bewildered. Daria looked between the servant and Jane, her expression gradually getting more and more irate as she did. 'You two have met?'"


• Holy Trouble, by januense (part 1): "'JANE LANE! WAKE UP!!!' The third time, the voice was just as loud as before and NOT of this world. Maybe to underline the request it was followed by a lightning bolt that hit Jane's bed, almost destroying it."


• Inspiration (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I give up.' Daria complained while crumpling up paper from her notebook and wadding it up into a ball."


• It's Esteem, as in Esteeeeeem! (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'How dare they put me in here with the losers?!' Val fumed to herself as she took a seat in O'Neill's classroom after school was supposed to be over."


• The Mageborn Cynic: Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 2): "Trent made his way back to his horse and rode away. He had never been comfortable with the duty his father had laid on his shoulders, as the younger son he had thought he would have been able to devote himself to music and... to be honest with himself... drinking and carousing, dancing sleeping and occasionally... oh and perhaps a little gambling too."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 5): "'Bob, you know your way to a girl's heart.' Daria said as she looked at him from across their candlelit table."


• Tiffany as a Brain (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 3): "'I thought you said Lawndale was lonely for you?' Daria asked Tiffany quietly after she had been introduced to Andrea Hebuca and Jane Lane."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Shockfest 2007!), by GDTSP (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon dived face first into her bed. As she had expected, she had failed to convince her parents to have the holidays off. There was no time to sulk, however, as she still had a history paper to write, along with 'urgent' work from two different extra-curricular activities."(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Like in most horror movies it was a dark and stormy night, the lightning crackled through the windows, revealing the silhouette of a boy walking through a living room with something shiny and sharp in her hands."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Everybody's dead, Jane.'"

Something for the Treehuggers

Lest we forget (which I did), the last Friday of every April is Arbor Day in the U.S., which means it would be nice if you planted a tree today, or at least avoiding cutting down a nice looking one.

Here is Arbor Day (better picture than usual) from "Depth Takes a Holiday." Poor treehugger kid, picked on by everyone who doesn't love trees. Looks sad. Bummer.

The creative Ms. Kinnikufan has created another Iron Chef for the writers among us: Daria in the Supreme Court. What cases would she oversee? What would her life as a justice be like? Will Jane spill the beans about Daria's unpaid traffic tickets?

List of new fanfics coming shortly, need to take care of stuff. And speaking of trees, enjoy The Oaks!

PPMB

• Beta Testing, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "A precognitive computer?" Archangel asked. "Yes and no. It doesn't predict the future, it records it." "This is going to be one of those explanations that makes my head hurt, isn't it?" (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Daria: Hunter 5—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "Nothing but blood," Burnout said as they stepped back out into the hallway. "Maybe, maybe not," said Daria. "We won't know unless we look, and it's better than wandering around aimlessly. Don't worry... tracking people down is our business. We'll find them."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “There’s a lot of things I could say about Finn,” said Jane. “It’s awkward enough,” Daria cut her friend off. “But I’m sure he’s flattered.” “I know I gotta talk to him, but... I just know I’m gonna hate it.” “Well, he’s busy anyway.” “Busy?” Jane asked. “He said he was going to lunch with Sierra, and then to some party.” “And he didn’t invite me?” Jane’s eyebrows cocked.
• Omnia Mutantur, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Why madam, it is truly my pleasure to welcome such a vision of loveliness to the very humble halls of Lawndale High.” It took Daria a few seconds before she realized that it had been addressed at her. Looking up, she saw a boy with orange/red hair and freckles giving her a wide smile. “Uh, thanks. My name’s Daria. Daria Morgendorffer” Daria replied, cursing her sudden lack of eloquence. She wasn’t expecting this, he had caught her off guard, everything was happening so fast. “Charles Ruttheimer the Third, at your service” the boy said, making a deep bow.
• Parents Are People, by Legendeld (Part 2): Quinn didn't need her to explain the statement, she only nodded. She was afraid the sound of her own voice agreeing would unleash tears. So this is the whole growing up thing Daria is always talking about. It sucks royally.
• NEW! Weighted Clothes, by Yogi (Part 1): Too small Pink T-shirt? Check. Fashionable Jeans? Check. Makeup? Check. Complete and utter destruction of her pride and self respect? Well, hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. “OK, “ Daria thought, going through the plan in her mind one more time. “3-Js come, dad calls out that my dates are here, though he’ll probably think they’re Quinn’s. Quinn exits room to see what is up, runs into me, mission accomplished. No one but Quinn will ever see, and my dignity will remain intact.” “Quinn! Your dates are here!”
  

For All the Tree-huggers

Today is Arbor Day, and a sad day he is. Who could he date at Holiday Island High that would cheer him up? Probably not the pyromaniac Devil's Night.

MORE DARIA WEBSITES FACE EXTINCTION! Roentgen notes in his blog that all GeoCities sites are goin' down later this year. That includes The Green Sink. Whoa. This must be why Arbor Day looks so glum. Somebody save the site while we can! And the others!

HELP THE AUTHOR: Echopapa needs some advice on his new story. Here is how it starts: Jane, still in her usual sleepwear of t-shirt and shorts, stumbled down the hallway to the kitchen, thoughts of her morning libation filling her head. Coffee. Coffee. Jane must have coffee. Wonderful, magical nectar of the Gods. I can almost smell it - wait. I can smell it! Jane stopped, suddenly fully awake. Is Trent?- No, he never makes coffee. I wouldn’t drink any he made anyway. Then who? -

My apologies for being tardy with the new fanfic list. Things do have a way of getting in the way.

FF.net

• Lambda, by SigDiff (Parts 23 to 25): “God dammit!” Daria yelled. “Fall back into the administrative offices and put up a barricade in the ticket office. Make them fight room to room. Use shotguns and grenades. Don't hold back, we're fine on ammo!”
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012 (Part 2): “It's legal, and tender, but someone's getting shortchanged! Little cross-dressers and the women who love them, coming up next on Sick, Sad World,” said the announcer and the show went to commercial. If that woman were Judy Garland, this might make sense on a couple of levels, Daria thought. She smiled sadly and sighed. She and Jane would usually be watching and making fun of this show together. She missed Jane.
• Wristcutters: A Daria Story, by Charliefox2012 (Part 2): Daria finished with the pizza and placed it in a box, ready for whoever came for it. She removed her headband, depicting the Kamikaze pizzeria logo. “I’m going on my break,” she said. [I get the impression that before this story took place, something happened....]

PPMB

• Am I Being Served? by Ajar (Part 2): "I know you need some pairs of 'trousers' to finish your art project, but did we have to come here? I'll never get the smell of stuffy out of these clothes."
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (continued): “I’m so not looking forward to this,” Daria said with a sigh as she came down the stairs. She walked over to where her aunt and sister were sitting and held her arms out. “Do I look like I’m ready to go to the nut house?” [FAN ART!]
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 7): Jane sat up on the couch and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Had she really cried herself to sleep on the couch? Looking at the window she noticed it was dark out. "God, I wonder what time it is", she thought as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. Looking at the clock above the sink she saw it was eight o'clock. "Damn, they are already ..." She shook her head violently, trying to shake the image of the Daria and Tom together out of her mind.
• Phlegm Noir, by Scissors MacGillicutty (Part 2!): "But why must he use Laaaawndale High only for his interiors? I think the school's a fine example of public architecture! Besides, I can't have the interior security systems be compromised!" [One of my favorite stories, continued at last!]
• Something Is Rotten in the State of Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (Part 5): That night, Daria came home angry enough to punch through walls. When she saw that Poneillius was still there and waiting to "rap" with her, she upgraded from walls to kittens. He opened his mouth, but she spoke before he could even inhale. "Say one word to me and I will throttle you until your head physically detaches from your body. Then I will kick your head through several windows and turn the rest of your body into a makeshift punching bag. After that, I will come up with something ten times more unpleasant than that to do with your remains. Understand?"
• Spirit Stick, by Brother Grimace (Parts 2 and 3): The air inside the foyer of the Pi Rho Omega sorority house was unnaturally still as the door opened, and the two Ringbearers stepped across the threshold. “Engage shields,” Archangel ordered; as he spoke, twin ovals of barely-visible blue energy appeared and surrounded the two, flickering slightly as they walked through the area. “Scan for signs of life.” “Nothing,” Valkyrie echoed. “I’m not even picking up any traces of human remains. Not good.”
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Temporary Duty, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): Nathan paced back and forth in one of the two rooms at the Dutchman Inn that the agents had rented. "Why in the hell is that a young man is living in the same house with my granddaughter?"
• trennt and the amaizing coofie, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): I dare not spoil the majesty and wonder of this amazing tale. Click and enjoy.

THE TREES HAVE EYES.

This is how trees see us.

This is also how squirrels see us.

Coincidence? Or a terrifying threat we cannot afford to ignore?

Write to your congressman this Arbor Day and demand action—before it's too late!

This Arbor Day message was brought to you by Jake Morgendorffer Consulting, Lawndale. Mention this ad and receive a 10% discount on your next consult, with a free doughnut. Run over a squirrel on your way over, and the consult is free. Remember: they know where you live.

Arbor Day, Always Left Out on a Limb

Our year-long tour of Holiday Island continues with Arbor Day, one of those liberal hippie sandal-wearing back-to-nature treehuggers always telling people to put out their campfires and plant seedlings. One of the most peaceable and polite young men you could ever hope to meet, and what does he get for his trouble? Picked on, that's what. He doesn't get any respect from any of the other holidays. But that's not our problem, we're just on tour. Good luck, Greenie. Don't take any wooden . . . ah, forget it.

On PPMB, Wouter shares with us sketches of Jane Lane in her role from "Write Where It Hurts," in the scene taken from The Graduate. Rrrowrrr, feisty! Thanks!

Heh, I was just thinking, what if Arbor Day came to Lawndale, hooked up with someone equally into the back-to-nature thing, and nine months later she gave birth to a Northern Spruce? I'm thinking Amanda Lane would do it. Then Jane would have a little . . . er, sapling-sibling to water. I could totally see this. What do you think?