"Poems don't even have to rhyme. How easy is that?"

Andrea is ready to entertain everyone with one of her masterpieces for Bad Poetry Day! If you think "entertain" is the wrong word, just keep in mind that the alternative is Quinn "Greasy Fry" Morgendorffer.

I'd even take Quinn's poetry over Jane's singing, though, based on her rendition of "Old MacDonald" in "Jane's Addition," which aired on this day in 1999. That, of course, was the worst thing ever to come out of that episode and I will be taking no questions at this time.

On a suspiciously unrelated note, today is also National Couple's Day, so anyone in a relation-date-ship-thing should spend some quality time together. Tom and his car, however, can just keep his distance from everyone just to be on the safe side.

"I'm here. But where are you?"

Andrea's about to favor us with a dramatic reading about rotting bags of flesh for Bad Poetry Day, and it's still a better choice than Quinn's greasy fry masterpiece. Poor Stacy is probably still giving her poems away for free.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," which aired on this day in 1999. It was the beginning of the infamous Triangle, but we didn't know that at the time. In hindsight, we probably would have rather seen a repeat of that poem about fries instead.

Fanfic Update!

• Applied Statistics, by abe (part 1): "'Dammit!' Jane exclaimed as she slammed the door behind her, 'I know I always ridiculed that idea of predestined soul mates that Maria kept babbling on about, but right about now I'm starting to wish that they really did exist!'"


• Doctor Who: Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Felicia Lovell entered the Console Room, where the Doctor and her other companions were. They were observing the TARDIS's progress through the vortex. For what seemed to be two to three months, the TARDIS had been going off course."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 43): "Erin woke slowly. Her hip pressed through the foam mattress onto the boards below. The light blanket cocooned her. The room was warm and the air suffused with the miasma of bodies. She did not want to wake, sleep felt comforting."


• Vulnerable - HurtComfort - Daria Fanfiction, by QueerPhilosopher (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened her eyes reluctantly and listened to the dreary patter of rain outside. She scanned her room with bleary eyes; still adjusting to her new bedroom."

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, / Thy micturations are to me / As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee."

Andrea's going to read you some of her original pieces for Bad Poetry Day whether you like it or not, so sit down and appreciate some poems about rotting bags of flesh. Otherwise she might send Quinn out to recite some gibberish about greasy fries.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," which aired on this day in 1999. Love him or hate him, Tom was a significant change to the show, and you can't deny that he shook things up. Whether or not the result was positive or not is up for debate.

Fandom News!

• Check out #4 on a video of stars who look like cartoon characters.


• Discuss the new movie Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark.


• Read and share your thoughts on an article about The Last of the Ayn Rand Acolytes.

Stacy's Still Giving Her Poems Away for Free

Andrea's prepared a dramatic reading for Bad Poetry Day, but I think she's got a long way to go before she'll beat Quinn's masterpiece. If song lyrics count, then Trent's also going to be stiff competition on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," which first aired on this day in 1999. There weren't any bad poems that I can remember, but we were...treated...to Jane's unique style of singing and introduced to fandom's most controversial character, Tom Sloane.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the recent Barcelona attack.


• neonhomer compares the lyrics of "Love Like You" to TAG's Pause in the Air series.

Ask Trent if You Want to Borrow His Rhyming Dictionary

Channel your inner Vogon today because it's Bad Poetry Day! Andrea challenges everyone to beat her "rotting bag of flesh" masterpiece, but I don't think she should get too confident. I see Quinn gearing up for a dramatic reading of "The Greasy Fry."

Speaking of things that make (some) people groan, it was 15 years ago today that we all got to meet Tom Sloane in his debut on the episode "Jane's Addition." Daria was less than pleased, and a lot of fans weren't too happy about it, either. And that was before The Kiss even happened!

Fandom News!

• Share what you think were Robin Williams's best roles.


• How do you get your Daria fix? Vote in the poll and talk about it in the thread.


• Join in the new discussion about the movie Batman v Superman.


• Ask Kristen Bealer your questions in the new Ask The Author thread.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: cfardell_Brenorenz29's Lawndale as a Character and LSauchelli's The 20/20 Daria.


• Give your opinion of Daniel Suni's fanfics in the Golden Oldies forum.

Well...At Least It Rhymes

Happy Bad Poetry Day, poetry lovers! I considered asking Jeffy to perform another dramatic reading of Quinn's classic "greasy fry" poem, but instead decided that Quinn herself will favor us with a recitation of one of her early works:

A model's what I'd like to be
Looking good comes naturally
Da da da da, da da, me.

Sort of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Today is also the anniversary of "Jane's Addition," which aired on this day in 1999. It was the first appearance of Tom, and the beginning of a long string of fandom controversies. But on the bright side, he didn't recite any inane poems about modeling.

Fandom News!

• Heard any stupid questions lately? Share your stories!


• Speculate about Daria character heights in a new discussion.


• Read the 23 Signs You Are Actually Daria Morgendorffer and tell everyone how many apply to you!


• Kara Wild shares a new blog post: Enough With the Nudity.


• Ranger Thorne has a new discussion topic: Monique Lane.


• peapotmaster posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria/The Replacements.


• Robyn has a request for fanart.

"...Poems don't even have to rhyme. How easy is that?"

It's Bad Poetry Day, and if we're lucky then Jeffy will favor us with a reading of one of Ms. Morgendorffer's great masterpieces. Brace yourselves for this one.

The greasy fry,
It cannot lie.
Its truth is written
On your thighs.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," although considering some of the fandom's reaction to Tom's Sloane's introduction, maybe we should stick with the poetry. Still, the episode did give us Mystik Spiral's "Mr. Normal" song, so at least there's that.

Fanfic Update!

• Another Slice (Another AU (maybe an IC?)), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "She opened the door to see Daria sitting on the side of her bed. Closing the door behind her, she walked over and plopped down next to her. 'You're gay, Daria? Or just bi?' she wondered aloud."


• The Creepyling Chronicles, by Charles RB (part 10): "'Darling, do you think Mafalda is teething?'"


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "'Good news is the safeties are working, so no power surges to shut down reactor containment or burning fuel running up the line. Bad news is we're gonna be a heckuva lot less manueverable, not to mention that we're out a third of our normal accel.' Jane sighed. 'We're not going to get that engine back up without time on the ground, but it won't sheer off when we turn.'"


• Curing Jealousy, by Shiva (part 1): "'Life takes you strange places,' Darin thought with bemusement at this latest strange hand that he had been dealt."


• The Daria Morgendorffer Show (World's Medium-Sized Crossover), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'I'm supposed to see a Mr. Grant about a research position.' Daria asked hesitantly. 'It's been filled.'"


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 9): "There was a big, rusty, iron gate, fixed to a couple of rocky pillars. On one of them she could read the word 'Addams', composed of rusted iron letters. An unpaved alleyway started from there. She followed its path with her eyes until she saw the house at the top of the hill. She stared, perplexed, just for a couple of seconds, at the old, ill looking, house and at the incongruous giant excavator that was passing just in front of it, then, she just shrugged, exhaling a long breath."


• Family Reunion (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jake: Helen, have you heard from Daria and Tom yet? (Helen hobbles over. She wears glasses now and is in her nineties as well. She looks much less like fearsome litigator Helen and more like quilting bee Helen.) Helen: Daria was going to stop and pick up a pie, and Tom was going to file for Medicare."



• A Man and his Box, by ThanatosRW (parts 1 - 4): "At five years old, Daria Morgendorffer had seen things no five year old should see."


• Memories, by januense (COMPLETE!): "From the end of the hallway, a figure appeared, coming from one of the side doors, standing, silent, for a couple of seconds, slowly spinning the head on both directions, as looking for something, or someone."


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 9): "'Joey kinda grabbed Daria’s chest.' Jane added shifting her feet and gesturing to the girl in question. In hindsight they both felt they could have restrained their fellows ending the fight before security showed up. 'So I punched him in the face.' She shrugged at her perfectly reasonable response."


• Scarlett the Fairy Goes on Vacation, by Aloysius (part 2): "She left the Maxi-Mart and saw that the two boys were looking at her in amazement. One had blond hair and a prominent chin and pointy nose; he also wore a shirt with the words 'Death Rock' imprinted on it. She learned that his name was Beavis. The other boy had darker hair, a big nose and no chin. His shirt merely had the word 'Skull' imprinted on it. She had to hold in her laughter when she learned that his name was Butt-head."


• ST: A Tale of Temporal Gifting (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "Instantly she came face to face with the image of William Samuels, Director of the Estaria Sector Division of Commonwealth Intelligence. 'Miss Allenby, I’ve just been made aware of a situation that requires your unique skills.' He began without permeable."


• Unexpected Hookup: Underneath It All, by Shiva (part 6): "Jamie pulled himself together as best he could and said as calmly as he could, 'Do you want to go out?' '...Like on a date?' Jane replied with an eyebrow slowly being raised up. '...Yeah.' Jamie replied."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have: Trip Cyclone), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Jane:' So Kevin is still working at the nut kiosk?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have: Trip Cyclone), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Daria:' Was it worth it Jane? You killed Trent and my dad, burned down half of Lawndale, and now your turning humanity into slaves for Cthulhu.'"



• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have: Trip Cyclone), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Jane:' ...so you see Daria; there really is an alien invasion going on. I represent the interests of an advanced civilization and were taking earth. Your my best friend. I feel closer to you than anyone I've ever met back home; and I want you at my side when the hostilities start.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have: Trip Cyclone), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Order and chaos. Law and anarchy. That's what this is about.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have: Trip Cyclone), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck - Oh, my fragile petal -- either you do your share, or I tell everyone we're dating."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "As Tom left the pizza place, he was determined that Daria would not see him cry. He was a man, dammit, and he wouldn't let her have the satisfaction of winning the breakup."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "There is a face in the mirror."


• WaM, Ma'ams, Dark Paladin, by DeacBlue (part 8): "'But after we sat down, I did start thinking about it. Daria, if we just wing it by the seat of our pants, at best, we're not going to get full cooperation. At worst, they're going to be actively hostile. And I don't think your plans envision us working completely alone.' Daria considered. 'All right, Quinn.' She turned to April. 'I'm sorry, but would you please change the settings to 405 Beacon Street, our universe.'"

"Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."

"Jane's Addition" turns eleven today. The final episode of Daria's third season on MTV, "Jane's Addition" introduced us to Tom Sloane, our favorite well-beaten dead horse, and it marked the end of the Daria/Trent thing, which saved Trent from incarceration.

Today is also National Bad Poetry Day in the USA, and if there's one thing we know, it's how to write bad poetry. In honor of this day, and in honor of "Jane's Addition," you are urged to write a Really Bad Poem about Tom Sloane. When I say bad, I mean it has to suck the reader right out of the chair and into the monitor. Put your contribution in the Comments section for everyone to read and enjoy (or not).