"Of the people, by the people...for the presidents."

Happy Presidents' Day! I recommend that you celebrate by not wearing sandals. You can play the harpsichord if you want, though. Acoustic or electric; your choice.

I haven't been able to find any fanfics about Presidents' Day (either the holiday or the character), but Roentgen's Our Founding Father features George Washington and Smijey's The War on Christmas makes reference to the holiday. Perhaps the characters are due for some fanfic attention! Okay, maybe not.

On the other hand, we are due for a fanfic update!

• Bound to Highland, by RLobinske (part 2): "'The cops aren't going to catch us,' Beavis said. 'Don't worry.' 'That's right,' Butt-head said. 'Our car is going to haul ass.' Daria shook her head and walked away. 'You're going to be sorry.'"


• Cole Barksdale, by Cap (part 2): "I was making one last pass under my chin with a razor when the telephone in the bedroom rang cutting through the peace of the late morning. A small surge of peevishness rose at having the stillness disturbed. I gave serious thought to ignoring the ringing irritant but curiosity overrode that impulse. Moments later, I was glad that I did. The pleasure I felt at the voice on the other end took me by surprise. Daria chuckled. 'You sound too chipper for someone who flew in from Europe yesterday.'"


• Da Boss King of Impze (A Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini), by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Shaggy didn't even listen to him; he recalled what Spoon had told him while Fluffy had drunk a whole bottle of Jack Daniels. How he was still alive was a riddle to Simon, or even how all this alcohol could get into the two small Impze, um, Imps. Okay... Okay. Concentrate. Imagine a picture of myself, together with a mental image of the concept of 'friend'. And then shove it up his small brain. Behind his sunglasses his eyes were getting smaller and he did not know it, but they began to glow in a faint, green light."


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 13: Paper Towels and Open Flames Don't Mix, by LadieT (part 3): "Helen and Jake headed towards their suite. Dorian and Jane spent the evening watching Puppet Master while Quinn was on a conference call with the rest of the Fashion Club. Dorian couldn't help but smirk as he listened to his little sister describe their suite in detail. Then, he heard her talk about that bellhop and it made him cringe. Watching the scene play out, Jane leaned towards Dorian. 'Are your big brother senses tingling?' 'I didn't like the way that Bobby dude looked at Quinn this afternoon. There is just something about him I don't trust,' Dorian growled."


• Daria's Travelin' Soldier, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'I was just wondering if you'd be interested in being pen pals. I'm deploying in a few weeks, and I don't really have anyone to write to. My parents are dead, my girlfriend dumped me last week, and I didn't really have any friends in high school. You seem like a really nice girl, and I was hoping to make friends with you.' Daria sat quietly for a minute, during which he felt his hopes sink into the ground. 'Ok,' she said quietly, smiling at him."


• Day of the Daria, by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "Suddenly, Jane leapt to her feet and started for the door. 'Where are you going?' Daria asked, grabbing her arm. 'To get the son-of-a-bitch who killed my brother,' Jane said, her voice filled with pain and hate. 'Jane, we have to be smart about this. If you just go after McGrundy, you'll be dead before you get in the door. I think I have an idea that might work, though. But we'll need some help for it.'" (Part 2)


• Fear (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I think we all have irrational fears, Daria,' Jodie said, putting down her books at the lunchroom table. 'Why, Jodie,' Daria said in a sarcastic monotone. 'Why don't you have a seat. How rude of us not to invite you over.' 'Shut up,' Jodie said. 'I can't believe that there's something that neither of you isn't afraid of.'"


• A Friend ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'In the grand scheme of things, no, the crimes themselves weren't that special. What was special, however, was the style. I consider myself an artist with what I do, and I always like having style when "completing" my art, and you my friend, have style. You have grace! You have flair! I would love for you to join in my greatest masterpiece – the destruction of all of creation.' 'Excuse me?' said the other woman without a hint of surprise."


• God Save The Esteem ep22: Anarchy in the Lawn-D, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'My brave paladins of Laaaaaawndale High, I'm afraid I have... I have bad news. We're going to have to cease giving byes for the duration of this crisis, effective immediately. I am truly sorry but you'll have to do the end-of-year exams on your own.' Screams and denials and the sobs of broken men & women filled the air. (Except from Mack, who was sighing)" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Illumination ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Erin M. (part 1): "'Merry Christmas, kiddo.' Daria's eyes opened and she turned to see her father, Jake, clad in white sitting on the other deck chair. He grinned broadly in that contented way he had. Daria felt her eyes water. She hadn't seen him since the night she took her leap of faith that had saved them all."


• I'm Not Doing You Any Favors ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "After she materialized fully, Judith wrinkled her nose. 'Highland smells just as bad as I remember it. Car exhaust, vomit, dog shit, and rotting road kill. A place only the most tasteless would love.' Judith slowly walked down the poorly maintained road and looked around as she did so. 'If anything, this place looks even more run down that it did before. Couldn't think of a better fate.'"


• The Invitation (Abandoned Version) (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria finally had a ride to Brittany's party, but it wasn't the ride she expected. She couldn't quite place the vehicle. It appeared to predate World War II...and perhaps the Civil War. Daria's ride was what appeared to be a heavily modified old flatbed truck which frankly creaked along the road to Crewe Neck. Mounted at the front were two giant headlights the size of small spotlights and a rope was tied between the lamps to be used for some unidentified purpose. She suspected that the rope was a structural support."


• Is It 'Mania Yet?, by TheExcellentS (parts 1 - 3): "O'Neill: 'These two are such friendly guys, you know, but they need to leave that behind and adopt a killer instinct if one of them is to win tonight.' Barch: 'Damn right. Hey, quick question.' O'Neill: 'Shoot.' Barch: 'If Robert and Ted are such nice guys, how come I've never seen their girlfriends?' O'Neill: 'Maybe they're just not wrestling fans. Why'd you ask?' Barch: 'No reason. Just curious.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 5, by InvisibleDan (part 3): "James kept at Daria's side as she went towards her locker. He saw the man moving his head around, ignoring both him and Daria. His arms were folded like he was king of the school and he even whistled when a group of girls walked by. Daria got closer to the bank of lockers and reached for the knob to enter the combination to her own. This was impossible since the man was directly in front of her locker so even if she could unlock it there was no way to open it unless he moved. Her arm outstretched, she said, 'Excuse me' at the oblivious stranger."


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "As Quinn listened to her sisters, it was the first time she began to realize that she would be spending next year alone. Despite being friends with just about everyone in her class, Quinn knew that she would miss talking to her sisters at lunch. Daria and Jane gave her a hug and told her it would be okay and that she was lucky because she would be going to school fifteen minutes later and getting out of school fifteen minutes earlier than they would be. Quinn hugged them back and smiled."


• KP: The Hyde Factor, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "'Or what? What will happen if she doesn't stabilize?' Wade swallowed visibly. 'If she doesn't stabilize, Kim's DNA will wear out and she will most likely be dead before she reaches twenty.' 'Twenty?' 'That's an optimistic estimate.' Anne said quietly. 'For all we know, she could drop dead next week.'" (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14)


• The Latest Fashion, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "All attempts to make a plan to deal with Li had been abandoned when it had looked like she wasn't going to get involved. The plan to drop the planning seemed like a bad idea all of a sudden as the stout woman bore down on them like a bull bearing down on a waving cape. 'Rowe! Morgendorffer! Blum-Deckler!' Li yelled as the rest of the students in the hall parted before her like the Red Sea. 'Stop cowering behind Miss Griffin immediately and face what's coming to you!'" (Conclusion


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Actually, you have been talking as if you do know what is going to happen,' Daria said. 'Like you have some foresight or something,' Jane said. 'Golly, you're good, Daria,' Jean said. 'And?' Daria prompted. 'And I got the information from time travellers back in the sixties during an 'incident' over in Oakwood. All that I'll say about this afternoon is that I won't be leaving the school with Sandi,' Jean said."


• Legends of The Metal: Sidestory - Drowning in Despair, by Ixmythot (part 2): "Just barely sighing, she closed her eyes, visions of Tom accusing her, damning her after she opened her heart to him, of him driving off with Jane aside him filling her mind, as she slowly climbed atop the stone railing. Closing her eyes once more, she took a deep breath, the voice in her head all she heard, as she dove, diving into the Sea. With a shock, Daria's eyes opened, the voice gone, as realization struck. Looking back and forth, she tried to swim upward, finally realizing where she was, as several massive tendrils, pitch black, rose up around her, wrapping around her legs, her waist, and her throat, pulling her downward...."


• The Legger (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "If you saw me on the street you'd say, 'that redhead is cute. And very popular.' You might even suspect that I'm smart. My 'Crestmore Law' T-shirt and my horn-rimmed glasses might lead you to conclude 'hot lawyer coming through' but a quick conversation will give it away. I don't even want to think about Law School after flunking out. My sister, Daria, does the heavy lifting intellectually."


• Life After Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 17): "'You ready to go?' Daria looked at her friend and hesitated, 'Can you give me a couple of minutes?' Jane nodded and followed her to where the fencing team was practicing. They stood and watched the match that was in progress. Jane had no clue what was going on, so Daria began explaining to her the rules and some of the moves. The assistant coach overheard the conversation and whispered in the head coaches ear. As Daria and Jane turned around to leave, the coach stopped them and signaled for them."


• Long Road Home (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Grifter74 (prologue): "Daria sighed as she tried to get comfortable against the wall of the bunker, she and Jane had been directed to shortly after the Main Gun of the SDF-1 fired and its failed take off, then sky filling with an assault force, the size of which hadn’t been seen in one place since the Unification War."


• Pie, Pie, My Darling, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I don't know what you mean,' Daria said, cramming the Snickers into her mouth as far as she could. 'We have no situation. Leave me alone, I gotta go.' She attempted to pull herself out of Tom's car, but she seemed to be stuck between the seat and the dashboard... 'Wait. Why is everyone so mad at me?' Tom asked. 'Why? WHY? Because I have a pie in the oven, and I don't want those idiots in there stealing it! And if I leave it alone too long, it'll burn, and I'll have to make another pie!'"


• Questions Asked, Questions Answered, and Pizza with Jane, by Lord Yellowtail (parts 1 and 2): "She shifted from one foot the other for a moment before the weight of the portable drive pressed against her hip, and she remembered why she was here, remembered wide, panicked ice blue eyes glazing over as blood poured across ivory skin from crimson lips opened wide in a gurgling scream, long thin fingers going limp in the-girl-who-would-be-Question's trembling hands. She remembered the first question, the one that led to all the others: Why?" (Part 2)


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Daria was beginning to conclude; 'And so, the one person I'd like to thank more than any other is my very own overachiever sister, Quinn Morgendorffer...' Quinn was aghast. 'Overachiever!' she exclamed. At Kristen's look she added. 'Overacheiver! She's the one with the Straight A's! I have at best a B+ average,' she said, with a hint of jelousy."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 42): "They stayed there in the middle of the dorm room for a few minutes, listening to the music. Sam's hand pressed on the back of Daria's head, holding her close to his chest. 'You know that I love you, DeeDee.' Daria's head jerked up. It was Sam's voice, very low and soft, barely a whisper, coming from his own lips. 'You just talked again!'"


• Right Lanes, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): "First thing Daria saw when inside, was the old Skrewdriver poster that hanged on the wall right in front of the door. Before she could decide what to think about it, she heard a man's voice: 'Hey Janey' Said the young bald man, whose arms were filled with tattoos. 'Who your new friend is?' 'Hey Trent. This is Daria, she just started at Lawndale High.'"


• Summer Fling, by GingerLove84 (part 1): "JESSE: Just follow along, I’ll explain later. (Bt) And don’t kick me, those boots look painful. (Daria raises an eyebrow as Jesse scoots his chair closer and puts an arm around her shoulders.) JESSE (whispering quickly): Don’t kill me. Crazy groupie, 9 o’clock, told her had a girlfriend, details later. (takes a deep breath) Please?"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Jane continued: 'The girl is so obsessed with being beautiful that it turns her into something really ugly. That's the message of the poster.' 'Oh!' Li beamed at them. 'Oh, in that case, forget everything I just said! I'll be proud to enter this work!' 'Boy, you really don't get WAIT WHAT.'"


• Word Girl (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She told me she was no writer. Words were tricky, she said, and always unreliable. Whenever she reached for them, they squirted away. I didn't argue with her, but her denial confirmed what I'd known all along. I was a townie and she was in college, majoring in cheap beer and hangover haze. We met by a bar when she should have been sleeping and got to know one another as we lay on my car, imagining the stars where they twinkled high above the city smog and dinge."


• Worldburner: They Were Nine, by Erin M. (part 4): "Jane sighed and looked down at the table, composing herself. When she looked back up, her eyes were watery but she didn't cry. 'Thank you, everybody. For everything. If this is the end, I want you all to know...that I love you.' She sniffed then gave the confident smirk that everyone knew her for. 'But some of you more than others. You know who you are.' There was a small chuckle from the group. Jane wiped her nose and eyes and picked up one of the rifles. 'All right, let's move out. We don't know how long we've got--'"


• Worldburner: Vipande Chu Uharibifu, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "I dodge behind one of the larger asteroids and prepare to blast it right in Taylor's direction when the watch on my left wrist beeps and a small red light illuminates. I stare at it in disbelief and grin. Jodie pressed the button. She actually pressed the button. NegaJane owes me big time. I'm thinking schoolgirl outfit."