Saturday, February 12, 2011

Four Score and Curious George

Today is a big day for historic birthdays! Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln were both born on February 12th in 1809--same day, same year.

Darwin is known for putting forth the theories of evolution and natural selection, as described in his most famous work, On the Origin of Species. He's also known from this exchange in the Daria episode "The Old and the Beautiful":

Mr. DeMartino: And so, the Democratic Party came to be associated with the "welfare state," and the Republican Party with a more Darwinian approach. Which do you favor? Kevin!

Kevin: Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys.

Mr. DeMartino: A statement no doubt once also made by your mother!

Kevin really is a fan of Charles Darwin, though, because "when Curious George gets in trouble, he always lets him slide."

Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, is one of the country's most famous and beloved leaders. His most famous act as President was the Emancipation Proclamation, but in "I Don't" the circumstances of his assassination takes center stage:

Daria: I'm playing Mrs. Lincoln, after she went crazy.

Brittany: I didn't know she went crazy.

Jane: Oh, yeah. That's why Lincoln shot himself.

Brittany: Wow!

Jodie: Come on, Brittany. Let's finish our fitting, and I'll tell you all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died.

Brittany: You mean the bullet didn't kill him?

Fanfic Update!
  • Bad Times, by Hyrin (parts 1 - 3): "'The Spiral is off tonight. Max has a temp job with a construction crew, its Nick's weekend with his daughter, and we couldn't scrape up bail for Jesse. Possession is starting to become a big deal again. Trent is doing a solo show, and he says he has a new song he wrote for a special girl,' Jane said, no longer able to keep the smile off her face." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Conflict of Shadows (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Ray (COMPLETE!): "'Very nice.' She tilted the glass, downing the remaining contents with a pleased shudder. She set the glass down, then wreathed her body in flames. 'But I’m in something of a rush, so let’s get down to business. I have a universe to burn.' Jim took another gradual sip, enjoying the liquid while waving an admonishing finger. 'That's your problem, you know. You've been in such a rush, you've gotten sloppy about certain things.' "

  • Crazy Punk-Self-Insert, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Ever read one of this stupid self-insert Mary Sue stories written by some hormonally challenged teenage girl? Yeah, me too. I don't like them, never had. Doesn't stop me from writing one myself. The only difference is, this one's true. Yep, it is."

  • Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Kim Probable: Do I have to spell it out for you? Daria killed every one of these celebrities to bring attention to herself and garner votes for the 2010 Bootie Awards, just like she went down to Hell last year to retrieve you, Raven. Daria: I would never kill anyone . . . except for those two grifters hitchhiking outside of Indianapolis, but that was years ago." (Continued here)

  • D'rea's Mission (Iron Chef: Mary Sue), by rglovejoy: "Subcommander D'rea read the letter for the third time, trying to tease out the deeper meaning of the words. There was no other way to interpret them except on face value: her tenure at the Vulcan Science Academy was to be interrupted, and the High Command was assigning her to oversee the first mission of the Humans' newest starship, the NX-01 Enterprise."

  • Fugitive Chapter 8: Grunge, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "She did not know it, but the designer of the Shinobi battle suit had a few things in mind while working on the project: 1.Efficiency 2.Intimidation 3.Efficiency 4.Patriotism 5.Impressing the cute lab assistant from down the hall He had succeeded in every respect. (They married three month later. He and the lab assistant, not the suit.)"

  • God Save The Esteem Ep21: Good Sports, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared at the bowl of cereal like a Pope who'd gone to Amsterdam's red-light district by mistake. 'Dad, this is healthy. Are you feeling alright?' 'As responsible parents, we care about our beloved daughter's health and daily nutrition!' 'You've made Dad sell out, Daria!' spat Quinn, thumping the table. “SELL OUT!'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • The Greatest of News (Cheer Chef!), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Helen - mother is dead.' Rita said sadly; tears stained her cheeks. 'Mother's dead.' Helen stated with shock. 'Rita does this mean-' 'Yes-' 'You've finally off'd the bitch!' Helen said gleefully."

  • Holiday Roadtrip, by Chris Tucker: "As they passed the border between Rhode Island and Massachusetts, Jane called out, 'Home stretch, ladies! We'll be in Boston inside of an hour. If you gotta go, well, you got empty coffee cups or you hold it until we hit BFAC, 'cause I ain't stopping until I park this thing in front of my dorm!'"

  • The Latest Fashion, by Jim North (part 1): "Quinn shrugged at Sandi, unsure of how to continue. They tried their best to keep their gaze level. They shuffled their feet. They wrung their hands behind their backs. 'Tiffany dear, are-' 'Oh my God, you're NAKED!' Stacy screamed at the top of her lungs, causing Sandi and Quinn to clamp their hands over their ears."

  • Lawndale Seven Chapter One, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Captain Jake Morgendorffer was considered to be a slightly crazy, ranting and unpopular officer. The Admirality of the eight fleet did clearly not like him, or they would have given him another command. Not on some old, outdated ship on the border to wildspace on patrol duty, looking for any signs of trouble. Sitting in his commando chair the captain gripped the handles of his chair and clenched the teeth together. The whole vessel was shaking under the steady fire of the attacking Hopp-Raiders, the shield fluctuating. 'Stupid squirreld headed Morons!! You think this will break me old man?!! HUH?!!! I'LL SHOW YOU!!! GOOD OL' JAKEY ISN'T YET READY TO GO!!!'"

  • Life As We View It, by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "DARIA (Thought VO): Alright Morgendorffer, stay calm. You're in Trent's bed, no big deal. (There's a light snore from behind her, Daria blinks.) You're in Trent's bed and you're not alone (Bt) Okay, still no reason to panic. (The blankets suddenly shift behind her and we see an arm drape over her. Daria's eyes widen) DARIA (Thought VO): You're in Trent's bed and there is someone cuddling with you. (Bt) Now might be the time to panic."

  • Life Beyond Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 16): "A couple of moments later, Daria thought she heard someone call her name. Daria and Jane stopped and turned around to see Brittany trying to catch up to them. Jane began to walk away, only to have her progress stalled by Daria. 'Umm, Daria, Jane - the Kappa Kappa Gammas are throwing their first party of the year this Friday and I was wondering if you would like to attend,' Brittany said."

  • Literal Interpretation (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Judith entered the ornate office singing the obvious tune, slightly off-key, 'Well, it's bad, bad LeRoy Vitale.' Calm, Jim Vitale rose and said, 'A joy to finally meet you, Judith Morgendorffer. Please, have seat.'"

  • The Long, Dark Break-Time (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The two forces studied each other, looking for weak points. Bastards both, horrors to countless worlds, calculating whether it was worth cutting loose."

  • The Newest Addition (Cheer Chef!), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Summer, Jane, and Wind were sitting on the giant couch in the basement. Jane was constantly looking back at the clock and was tapping her foot. Summer stared at her little sister in amusement. 'With the way you are acting, people would think that you are the one getting married,' Summer smirked."

  • Oh, By The Way, by RLobinske (part 6): "Tess approached Daria and said, 'What do you think about your sister having a child?' 'I think that she'll be a good mother,' Daria said. 'That still doesn't change my mind about having one.' 'I suppose I'll have to be happy with one great-grandchild.' 'Guilt isn't going to work. Grandma, a couple should only have a child if they want one. Any other reason shortchanges the child.'"

  • Only a Study Session (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Checking the address on a slip of paper, Raft student Daria Morgendorffer looked up at the brownstone building. 'This looks like the place.' Double-checking the pepper spray in her pocke, she thought, He seems nice enough, but you can't be too careful." (Part 2)

  • Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "Unknown to Quinn and Jenna, Stacy Rowe had overheard them from her locker. 'The Anime Club. If Sandi wasn't such a hardcase about things, I would have joined a few weeks ago,' she thought. She closed her locker and headed to the bathroom where Sandi and Tiffany were waiting for her."

  • The Road Not Taken By a Sloane (Iron Chef: No Bromwell For Tom), by Cap (COMPLETE!): "'What's wrong, Tom?' she asked in genuine concern. He stayed silent for several moments before finally sighing. 'A little brouhaha at home this morning.' 'Oh?' 'I told my parents that I'm not going to Bromwell,' Tom said brusquely after a moment."

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Daria asked: 'Just how bad was it?' 'She told me he was super hot. In reality, he was a super gafone.' 'That bad, huh?' 'Yeah, It's typical, though. It's like I ask them for a map of New Jersey and they hand me a sheet of used toilet paper.'"

  • Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "The paranoia I was feeling back in David's haven comes back full force, and this time I have no conflicts with it. The phone's warnings begin to fluctuate a little, getting stronger and weaker in turns broken by brief periods where they remain moderate but steady. Whatever this thing is, I think it's checking me out. Testing my reactions. Hunting me. But there's nothing there, just fog fog fog and more fog. I'm missing something. I'm- LOOK UP."

  • Second Glance, by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "DARIA (sighing): Maybe I'll- JANE: Oh no, you're not heading to your parents. You're just gonna have to suck it up Morgendorffer. I am not gonna have my best friend and my brother avoiding each other like the plague over a little kiss. Now in five years or so, if you're avoiding each other because of restraining orders or child support, I'll adjust."

  • Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 21 - 23): "It wasn't too hard to find Christine, the shrieking made it very easy. Elsie found her standing in front of the safe that she had put those diamond earrings in, the one she bragged about immensely. The perfect thing to steal. 'Christine? I've heard shouting.' Elsie came over with a fake look of concern on her face. 'They're gone! My earrings! I've been robbed!' She shrieked and sobbed." (Part 22) (Part 23)

  • Unnamed story (Cheer Chef!), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Ignoring the cries of her baby brother Evan, Jodie lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling in hopes of calming herself enough to make the upcoming car ride with her dad tolerable. Another day at the Congressman's office, and without Mack, she sighed to herself. Just as she was getting up to go meet her father, his screams lit up the house."

  • Unnamed story (Cheer Chef!), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "A tear fell down Sandi's cheek as she hugged her brother Sam. Words failed her at this moment of happiness and relief." (RLobinske's alternate ending)


Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Damn harpies, always gotta be knocking down library ceilings.

Anonymous said...

Well, be fair, they can't fit through the _door_. How else are they going to check books out?

- Charles RB

Anonymous said...

Here in Kansas, there are those who refer to Darwin as The Servant of the Antichrist....