Friday, March 11, 2011

An Apple a Day Won't Keep the QB Away!

Today is Johnny Appleseed Day! Kevin's getting into the spirit, although he's probably just as likely to plant jelly beans as apple seeds. Whatever keeps him out of trouble, I suppose.

Anyway, have an apple and check out the latest fanfic update!

  • Daria/Dorian Ch. 13: Paper Towels and Open Flames Don't Mix, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "After Quinn and Jane fell asleep, Daria got Dorian's attention. Let's go pay the front desk another visit. He asked for a second print-out of the room's bill. The only charge that was on it was the pizza he and Jane had ordered that afternoon. Get mom - that jerk's going down."

  • The Death of Jane Lane (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Now, the actual accident itself, well, there were lots of unanswered questions. Number one was, where the HELL does a stretched SMARTCar full of CLOWNS come from and how the hell did it wind up on the Boston Common, speeding wildly on the footpaths, dozens of brightly clothed arms sticking out of the windows, frantically beeping their little clown horns in a futile effort to warn the girl directly in the path of the out of control car."

  • Different Circumstances (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "There was no way out of that knot. It seemed that he and Jane were no longer an item. Jane fled to some kind of art commune. He was left with Daria, who was feeling major guilt for hurting her best friend. Tom didn't know how it would turn out. It was then that he got a text message from Jane. Tom you basterd. I shouldn't be writing you. This is a bad idea that drunks have and I'm drunk. Question: Do you want me back? Answer yes/no. If yes, we'll talk. If no, forget you."

  • Fugitive Chapter 8: Grunge, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "He should have been afraid of losing his humanity, he knew that. But he felt nothing anymore, just the urge to lay down and go to sleep without ever waking ever up. That way he would not have to bother with anything anymore. Not the fact that he was in prison, not the loneliness, not the boredom, not the fucking thought that he wasn't human anymore."

  • The Future We Choose/Anticipate, by psychotol (parts 3 and 4): "'Betty teleports in and sees if his powers work, if not, move away until you do, repeat this procedure at least twice on different vectors, once we have the location, Quinn, I’ll direct you to hit the metajammer with an electron beam. Then we pile in, secure the place, and make off with Daria.' 'CIA will just hate that,' said Tom. 'BONUS!' they all chorused." (Part 4)

  • Life After Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 21): "'Brittany,' Jane sighed. 'You have nothing to apologize for. You weren't the person who opened their big mouths in front of the entire student body in the cafeteria. You were just that bitch's best friend.' 'Who didn't speak to her for a couple of months afterwords. You weren't the only one mad at her, Jane.'"

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 4:, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'SHUT UP!' she screamed at her parents. Taken aback, they froze with no idea of how to react. 'This is all YOUR FAULT! I've lost my boyfriend, any respect I had at school, and I can’t even look myself in the mirror anymore! And why? Because I was trying to live up to your expectations! "You have to date the perfect black boy, Jodie." "You have to be the best at everything, Jodie." "You have to never lose anything, or you'll disappoint us, Jodie." Well, that’s over! I have given you two everything I’ve got, and now it’s cost me EVERYTHING!'" (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • Maw of Darkness (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey: "'You see, the girl fell asleep and nobody knew she was there. Otherwise, I doubt if they would've entombed her. When she woke up and found the door unresponsive, she was at least comforted by the fact that she was surrounded by food...until she realized there was no can opener. Then it dawned on her --' Daria interrupted Jane. 'Then it dawned on her she could chew the cans open!' she said, uncharacteristically peppy. 'After all, the human jaw exerts enough pressure to break bones, so a little tin shouldn't be any trouble whatsoever!'"

  • Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 43): "Daria noted Jane's look of annoyance. Could it be that she is resentful that I brought Sam along? she wondered. The rest of the bus ride went quietly, with Jane catching Daria up on the comings and goings of Lawndale."

  • Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I hit the double doors at a dead run, then bounce off and fall to the ground, stunned. Another heavy scrape coming in my direction gets me back up and on my feet. Pain is temporary. That thing is something else. Suffering and misery and agonizing torture and I have to get out and I have to get out now."

  • Slashers (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat in a dark room typing furiously at her computer, the only illumination the glow of the monitor where it reflected in her glasses. Almost there, she thought. Just a little more..."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Addicted to "being special"), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): ""Hello, Charlie" "Yea, It's Jodie Landon....." "No, Your lawyer, Charlie!" "I'm not your new goddess, I'M YOUR NEW ATTORNEY! Dammit! OK, breath Jodie, breath.""

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "The skin on her face is stretched out, pulled tight by the hooks and the elastic bands that they are each tied to. Two of them are tearing the skin that they are in, but she can barely tell which two through the pain. Everything has become this pain. Even the chafing of the bands tightly binding her wrists and ankles have ceased to be a concern in the face of this white hot inferno of pure agony."

  • Why I Quit Eating Sweets - My Brain Fries Itself (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The Justice-of-the-Peace closed her eyes for a moment before continuing on to the vows part of the ceremony. 'Do you Daria Morgendorffer take Anthony DeMartino to be your lawfully wedded husband?'"

  • Wrong Turn....At Sesame Street, by peapotmaster (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer woke up on a Friday morning in her bedroom, only to hear a very familiar song playing in the background. 'What the...' Daria began to speak, when she spotted a little red monster walk up to her. 'Daria, it’s time to start the show,' said the red monster. 'Elmo is here now.'"

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