Horton Hears a Kook

Happy 242th birthday to DeWitt Clinton! He was the sixth Governor of New York, a driving force behind the construction of the Erie Canal, and likely the inspiration for the hyphenated last name of the Daria character Ted DeWitt-Clinton.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Theodor Seuss Geisel, more commonly known as Dr. Seuss. Born in 1904, Dr. Seuss wrote many beloved children's books, including Green Eggs and Ham, which is referenced in the episode "Groped By an Angel":

Helen: Quinn, is that a book you've got?

Daria: Sorry to give away the surprise, but in the end, he eats the green eggs and the ham.

Fanfic Update!

• Another normal day in Lawndale, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Her mind caught that train of thought. What if, from a certain POV, all this would be considered abnormal in a few years? Imagine me in thirty years reading this. Problem was, she couldn't even begin to consider herself like that. Me, married with children? So that my dad is never home in the evenings, I'm sad and my children suffer and have fights and feel bad all the time? No, that wasn't for her! I will not change. I will not compromise myself to be just another faceless adult. I'll be me! Point."


• Avenging Angel (Write-off Challenge 9, Round 1), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Angel growled angrily, swiped out a paw that drew bloody lines down Brian's exposed skin and hissed as he darted up Daria's leg and into her arms. She stroked the cat and glared flaming daggers at the hobbled, cursing man leaning against the banister, as did the rest of the party, minus Eva. As Brian raised his head he caught sight of the cat in Daria's arms and froze. Angel had fixed him with a grudging stare and, unnoticed by the rest of the family, his eyes glowed a bloody, baleful red."


• Da Boss King of Impze, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'So, then tell me my young friend: What do you want?' I already gave you the answer to that. Power. 'Yes you did. And I gave you what you wanted. So what do you want now from me?' You gave me tricks and a piece of power, nothing real. Shaggy, by now sitting on a bench like they were build into changing rooms, shot him an evil glare. I said I wanted power, not parlor tricks."


• Bound to Highland, by RLobinske (parts 4 and 5): "Standing behind a large desk in an overly-opulent office, the short, bald man gave Jake an evil grin. 'Sure, Jake. I'm glad to have you back. You realize, of course, that we filled your old job and you're going to have to start at the bottom.' Thinking again about how the man reminded Jake of the long-dead Italian dictator, he nodded and said, 'Yes, sir.'" (Part 5)


• Daria/Dorian Ch.13: Paper Towels and Open Flames Don't Mix, by LadieT (part 4): "The next morning, Dorian woke up to someone knocking on the door. He opened the door to see Bobby standing there with a room service cart. 'No one here ordered room service. I'm the only one up.' Dorian closed the door in his face. I heard him and another bellboy talking this morning. He's gonna try to get Quinn to go out with him. We also need to keep an eye on anything he tries to bring Quinn. It seems he bills the stuff to mom and dad's room then hacks into the computer system and removes it. A look of anger came over Dorian's face."


• Daria: Hunter - Infectious, by Jim North: "Boring boring boring. Even singing sci-fi theme songs in his head was starting to pall. If only something would happ- Artie stopped walking, causing Dr. Ted to bump into him from behind. 'Oh, I'm sorry, Arthur,' the young man said brightly. 'I must have been lost in . . . ' He trailed off when he noticed the transfixed look of shock on Artie's dopey face."


• Daria/The Mask: My Big-Head Girl, by Erin M. (part 1): "DARIA: (deadpan) This is not what I ordered. (Disgusted, she tosses the mask over her shoulder. It lands, face down on the floor behind her. Daria gets up from her desk. As she does so, we see he foot slip under the leg of her office chair. As she stands, she stumbles and falls. Landing face first into the mask.)"


• Eternal Return and Other Theories, by Stripey (part 1): "'God Daria, don't you ever clean this place?' Quinn let herself in as soon as the door was open. She quickly took stock of Daria, who had sleep-mussed hair, circles under her eyes, and was wearing her typical plain t-shirt and black cargo pants. Quinn shook her head slowly at the sight and visibly returned her attention to the apartment."


• For Better or For Worse, For Richer or For Poorer, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "It's been over two years, she thought. I shouldn't still be embarrassed about this. Still, she checked to make sure the pill bottle was safely hidden before leaving the restroom. Walking outside, Erin quickly saw the car her grandmother had ordered for her and handed her suitcase over to the driver. Sliding into the backseat, she thought again about the pills and sighed. I'm not the one who should be embarrassed, anyway. It's Brian's fault."


• How Sweet That Mem'ry? How Long Ago? (Writeoff Challenge 8), by ticknart: "'It's big. Huge. They're going to put you on trial here when you get into the stand. You know that, right. Of course you do.' She was in full on lawyer mode. Michael felt proud of her. 'I can prepare, though,' she said. 'I know some people in Washington. I can call in some favors. Get some tips.' She slapped her hand on the desk. 'I can get ready. We can do this together.'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 5, by InvisibleDan (part 4): "He looked over and saw Ms. Li standing at the door, her arms folded. The expression on her face was fatigued, one of someone who had already dealt with a lot of chaos but was still ready to take on more. James knew then that he wouldn't be able to spend any time at all outside with Daria, and he sighed."


• Kevin and the Knights, by Wassersauefer: "'Hey cool, a dollar!', he suddenly said out loud and bowed down to get the small piece of money from the ground. That was the reason why he did not notice the small red glowing point on the other side of the street, quickly growing and becoming bigger, first as big as a football, than as big as a window and finally as big as a SUV."


• Lawndale, by GlitterShrooms (part 1): "'This weekend, we plan on running a 54 hour marathon of America’s favorite 1950s sitcom Lawndale!! Come join the Morgendorffers, a.k.a. America’s favorite family in all their classic episodes. Watch parenting duo Jake and Helen Morgendorffer, and their beautiful twin daughters Virginia and Victoria as they do what they do best, but wait, there’s more!'"


• Life After Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 19): "A few moments later, a bell chimed signaling the beginning of the match. Daria's opponent decided to go on the offensive, which worked to Daria's advantage. As she dodged the approaching attack, she got a quick point for an under-the attack arm point. Her friends and sister watched as she and her opponent went at it. Andrea and Jane winced when Daria was struck in the chest."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 2: Party Animals, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "She went upstairs slowly, almost hoping that Quinn would be around the corner holding something large and heavy. She walked to Quinn’s door which was slightly ajar since it wouldn’t close now. Inside, Jane and Quinn sat on the bed, their eyes red and puffy. Daria knocked softly on the door, and felt ashamed when Quinn stared impassively at her." (Part 4)


• Minimum Daily Requirements (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Hungry.' It was an existential statement from Jane. 'Have anything to eat in this crap shack?' 'I'm feeling like today is a cereal day,' Daria said."


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 19): "Daria's wonderment at her friend's changeable moods lasted only a moment because her eyes suddenly met wide brown ones. Kevin blinked first. 'Uh, sorry, Daria,' he stammered. 'I didn't, huh, know you were— I wanted to— I'm just gonna go now.' He turned and walked off, rather quickly, Daria noted. 'Listen, Colleen,' she said, rising, 'you're going to have to abuse me later. I have to talk to someone.'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 8): "'Look, I want you to know - I'm sorry, for everything. I should have been there for you and Jane.' 'You still can be, dad - for all of us - because Cleo and Quinn are going to need you, too.' Standing outside of the waiting room, Helen listened to the conversation between her daughter and husband. As she entered the room, Daria and Jake broke their embrace. Daria moved to sit next to Jane. Helen and Jake sat beside them."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "Eventually my lungs stop burning. The last vestiges of the Health Drink course through my veins, leaving me not refreshed but still standing and capable of walking. I turn away from the fence and click the safety on my pistol before reholstering it. I'm a few shots down now, but considering it was a life or death situation, it was worth it. The 'death' part catches me and I nearly stumble as I make my way back to the intersection. I almost died back there. It wasn't even like with my first encounter with the runner, which I escaped mostly unharmed. If I hadn't had that drink, I might have ended up bleeding to death." (New Part) (Newer Part)


• Someone Else's World, by Charles RB (parts 5 - 8): "This entire universe is centred around Quinn. That's the difference. Except does that mean home is centred around me? That makes no sense. Why would it be? Why would a whole world revolve around ME? (Okay, a lot of things happen to me at Lawndale, but if a universe revolved around me then things would have happened in Highland too, and they didn't.) But this world certainly seems to revolve around Quinn of all damn people, and why why WHY..." (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Summer Fling, by GingerLove84 (parts 4 and 5): "JANE: Yo. (Bt) Oh, Hey Mrs. M (Bt) Yep she's right here, hang on (grinning evilly at Daria) Yo Jesse! You wanna take your tongue out of Daria's throat? Her mom's on the phone. DARIA: I hate you. (taking the phone) Hello (Bt) Okay (Bt) No I'll stay here tonight. (Bt) That's privileged information. (Bt) I don't think- (sigh) Alright, I'll ask. (Bt) No you cannot wait for an answer. I'll let you know later. (Bt) Bye." (Part 5)


• United States of Stacy (A God Save The Esteem mini) (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Stacy turned around and started to walk towards the back door of the house, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. 'Stacy, I just want to say that it's good to be able to talk like this for once. I mean, I don't see you much around these days with work and sometimes I feel like... I'm almost a complete stranger to you. You know what I mean?' I feel the same way about myself sometimes."


• Unnamed story> (Iron Chief: Amnesia), by JoeMerl (part 1): "The girls looked at each other, then stepped back together as the boy rolled up his sleeves slightly and approached the levers. He looked to each of them for a moment, then at the weird symbols as if hoping they would suddenly lend some sort of a clue. Finally he reached out, taking the left-most lever at random. His fist clenched motionlessly on it for a moment, then he closed his eyes and pulled, drawing his hand back quickly as though afraid the lever would bite him."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Uniforms), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Well crap, school uniforms haven't changed ANYTHING! fumed Ms Li. You LIED to me, television. I WILL NOT FORGET THIS."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Uniforms), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked through the halls trying to ignore the sea of green and black around her. As she spun the dial on her locker, she heard an indignant voice call out, 'Daria! This is so uncool!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Uniforms), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Tragedy struck today when a terrorist bombing hit Lawndale High School. Officials say that Principal Angela Li received a video tape earlier in the day by a group calling themselves the "Fashion Cell". On the tape, they demanded that the recently instituted uniform policy at the school be retracted, using the threat of a bomb as an incentive....'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Uniforms), by JoeMerl: "Stacy bit her lip. 'Well...okay, lemme see that paper.' Tiffany passed the announcement; Stacy muttered quietly as she read. 'Okay...well, really all it says is that we have to wear a green jacket, orange shirt and black skirt and boots.' 'Aaaggghhh! BOOTS!' Quinn moaned, her head falling to the table as she began to sob."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "After carefully arranging her face in her usual stoic expression, extended one lace-sheathed hand and rang the bell. A moment's fear widened her eyes as she realized Trent might answer the door, but that thought was soon pushed aside; she was too tired to care. A scant forty-two seconds later (was she counting? of course she was) the door swung inward and a full minute of stunned silence followed."


• What Did You Do During The War, Daria?, by echopapa (part 2): "'Something seems to have happened,' the reporter suddenly said, 'The Justice Leaguers have suddenly left the construction and are heading for their Javelin spacecraft parked nearby..oh my God!' An energy bolt lanced out from a weapon held by a Hawkwoman in white and blasted the Javelin to bits. The shaken reporter continued. 'The Leaugers have been thrown clear of what seems to be an unprovoked attack by the Hawkmen, and are trying to regroup...Oh, no! Dozens of Hawkmen have flown up out of what was thought to be a force field generator and are now descending on the trapped Justice League.'"


• Wrong Where It Hurts (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria nodded, still grinning. Her teeth glistened like knives. As she spoke, she took her baby off and put it on the table. Helen trembled slightly as she looked at it, and hurriedly said: 'Butt-Head! How's work?!' He blinked. 'Whoa. I knew there was something I forgot to do today.'"