Beauty and the Beasts

Jane is looking especially family-friendly as Snow White, because today is the 65th anniversary of Disneyland. The park opened in 1955, and sports figures (probably including Kevin) have aspired to go there ever since. I can't guess what Jane's opinion of Disney might be, because on the one hand it's cutesy and not her style at all, but we also know that she hopes to get a job as an animator there. I guess we always knew Jane's personal scruples were for sale (see "Art Burn" and "Malled").

Fanfic Update!

• Backseat for No One, by EntrancedCat (part 9): "'Gah,' Daria jerked her head back as she stepped onto the Morgendorffer driveway. 'Get that thing out of my face.'"


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 47): "'Here it is. This is the last one!' Daniel exclaimed, placing a heavy box on the ground. 'Home Sweet Home.' Said the girl with him."

Jane Lane and the Seven Dwarves

Jane's getting in touch with her cuddly side because it was on this day in 1955 that Disneyland opened its doors for the first time. As a result, Kevin Thompson knows exactly where he's going to go after he wins the Super Bowl.

Fanfic Update!

• Critters, by Snow-Kitty (COMPLETE!): "He heard rustling from branches above his head, and glanced up for a moment, his eye bulging in annoyance, to see the source of the irritating noise. His face lit up when he noticed three squirrels sitting in a row on one of the branches."


• Daria and Jane: In The 'Unethical' Experiment (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "


• Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 17): "Daria sees Luke's new car pull up to the gates. 'You're two minutes late.'"


• I do (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'So Amiga' Jane said with a smile. 'I always knew you'd end up as my sister-in-law and today is the day, mwahaahaahaaa!'"


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 9): "Matt ignored the shout and continued straight upstairs. He would not look back and he would not slam the door to his room. He would not give her the satisfaction."


• Renewment, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Seated on a lounge chair under an umbrella in the back yard, Helen deleted a file, set her tablet computer aside and rolled her head back in frustration. 'Ugh! That was worse than Twilight fanfiction.'"


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part III), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Without any warning or provocation Tom politely pushed past Angela Li and cut her speech for the Lawndale High graduation ceremony short. He glanced up to the sky and uttered a silent prayer for himself and those around him. He muttered an apology for what carnage he would soon unleash upon the world."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part III), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Moar food! MOAR!' Tom Sloane bellowed at his skinny, starving servants as they gathered even more food for their morbidly obese master."


• Without Warning, by Princess-Pasta (part 18): "Summer descended upon Lawndale quickly, bringing with it sweltering heat and high humidity. The only consolation for Jace was the fact that school was out."


• You and I, We're Angels (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Drowning, apparently, was supposed to be a pleasant sensation. She wouldn't know. All she'd thought as she had sunk was that she couldn't let go. Never let go."

Please Don't Let Her Start Singing....

On this day in 1955, Disneyland opened its doors and began welcoming small children and Super Bowl winners for years to come. Jane seems surprisingly happy in her role as the Disney version of Snow White, but then again she did say she wanted to get a job with Disney in "Look Back in Annoyance." Maybe she's just trying to kiss up.

Fanfic Update!

• Death Comes to Another Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 - 3): "John sat up in bed and stretched. He checked his clock and saw that it was time for a shower." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 23b): "'Congratulations on getting the lead in the play’, Dylan said to Kris. Their father looked up from his dinner. 'What play is that?’"


• The Fate that Summer Lane Deserved, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Just roll her over, it's how Hendrix died.'"


• Flush With Love (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Pssst.' Jane looked up from the sink where she was washing her hands. 'Psssst! Hey. Over here.'"


• Great Professor Dario Ch. 1 A fresh start, by ST91 (part 2): "'Come on mom,' said an embarrassed Dario, 'I did not do anything special, it is also for this reason that I came back to live with you, to help you in every possible way.'"


• How Not to Make a Tequila Sunrise (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "He tried in vain to hit back, and Todd was about to knife him in the neck when a grey-tuxedoed man stepped out of the kitchen, irate."


• The Ianuzzi's Meet the Man and the Boss (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The sun dripped on down all across the New Mexican desert, and in their new disguises Todd and Jane Ianuzzi lapped up the heat, the latest Daft Punk single blasting out of the truck they stole from that guy they killed on their way out of Highland."


• I'm ACTUALLY the craziest of them all (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "I knew they faked their death when I heard the news and I knew where they were coming too. You see Tom wasn't the only guy me and Jane shared. little did Little Janey know. I was her."


• I'm Tagging With the Band: Meeting Daria, by Shiva (part 4): "It had only been half an hour, but to Amy it felt like days. 'Well it isn't everyday that you fall face-first into a rabbit hole Amy.' A bemused voice whispered in the corner of her mind."


• In the Executive Suite After Dark... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been a hard road, but President Tom Sloane, the 48th President of the United States was now settling down for his first night in the Executive Suite of the White House with his wife, Daria Sloane (nee. Morgendorffer)."


• Invasion of Privacy, by GDTSP9 (parts 1 - 7): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?' Jake glanced at Daria in the rear vision mirror only to see she was looking away. He wondered why Daria never seemed to look directly at her parents." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Jane's Aunt Lois (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "On day at the local Pizza Prince in boring old Lawndale, the Snarky Duo, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were eating pizza, drinking coffee, and in Daria's case also reading a newspaper."


• A Little Bathroom Reading (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The hallway was dark as Jane and Todd Ianuzzi crept into the Morgendorffer home to slaughter its inhabitants. It might've had something to do with all the lights being off."


• Minds Touched by Madness, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "You’re onto something big, she told herself. Picasso could have only dreamed of revolutionizing art this way. Her work hailed as the voice of a generation manifested on canvas, the freedom to do as she wished, following the purity of vision." (Part 7) (Part 8) (Epilogue)


• The Mob Rules (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "There was a limo parked horizontally in the road, effectively blocking it. Todd’s eyes jerked open. It looked strangely familiar; if he let his imagination go, he would have thought it was the same one from Glen Oaks Lane."


• National Insecurity, by SacredDust (part 2): "Mack is gone. I'm not going to fool myself. I know where he is. They've taken him in for questioning and we know what that means--he's not coming back for a long time."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Meets the Legion! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (part 2): "'Oh sugah!' Nurse Goodnsexy said with a giggle as she zipped her uniform back up with a hint of the limberness she had used to the max not all that long ago, 'This has to be one of the better receptions I've ever gotten!'"


• Only Love Can Kill The Demon (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "They'd picked up the hitchhiker on the way into Leeville."


• Random lines (Ever used Mystic Spiral kind of lyrics in real songs?), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Trent made a break from looking at the cracks in the ceiling to stare, once again, at his song notebook he was holding. However, it hadn't changed from last time, a few minutes ago. It was still blank."


• The Ring of Fire (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "I guess if the police stopped me they would see a nice, innocent looking 16-year-old girl with short blonde hair and blue eyes. Someone who could be their daughter or their niece, and a cop's daughter to boot. They would let me slide. What I'm about to do, though, is anything but innocent." (Part 2)


• Rise of the Atoner, by macross (parts 4 - 6): "Her head was killing her. That was Courtney Lane’s first coherent thought as she started to come to." (Part 5) (Part 6)

• Something (Slightly) Wicked Chapter 2, by macross (part 3): "The girls made their plans for their shopping destinations for the afternoon. Ally informed Scarlett and Daria of a great vintage clothing and record store, that had some amazing finds from the 70’s and 80’s, 'it’s called the Funky Doodle, it’s a few stores down from Stacie’s Dad’s Tattoo parlor on Dega Street.'"


• Sweet Dreams, by RLobinske (part 1): "Forming burger patties, Michael said, 'Do we have a clue yet?' 'Clue about what?' Daria said, though she suspected. 'What we're going to do for our anniversary? It's only 24 days away.'"


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 12): "I woke up on the floor about a foot away from my bed all. So I crawled to the nearest bathroom and had a jolly in the toilet."


• Tonight's the Night (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "They climbed into the van but before he could start it something came from behind and clamped over her nose and mouth. She struggled to breathe but it was no good, she went weak immediately then... blackness."


• Trentacious D (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Some time ago, the Spiral boys were pushing the Tank (the engine had fallen out) down a long and lonesome road."


• Unexpected Hookup: Relative Madness, by Shiva (part 11): "Apocalyptic. Such a funny looking word to convey pure horror."


• Unnatural Born Killer (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by LadieTAG (parts 1 - 3): "The figure appeared in the bedroom of Jane and Todd Ianuzzi without making a noise. In his hand was a tiny ball of red light. He stared at the two in disgust, knowing what they had done." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Dale of Lawn, by Wassersauefer (part 16): "Back on the way to the overlords tent Jane whispered into Darias ear: 'I take it we will attack soon?' 'No', she only answered without looking up. 'They will attack us.'"


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust150 (part 4): "The usual security around the base was a few USAF Security Policemen, armed with their ubiquitous holstered .38s in near perfectly creased OG fatigues, boots and badges shined to a gleaming standard, standing by the main gate and checking IDs and giving razor sharp salutes, and giving the kids of base personnel more jaunty ones once they were satisfied with your bona fides. Not today." (Part 4 on PPMB)


• Wild and Wonderful (IC: Todd and Jane Ianuzzi -Takedown), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Sing me a song, sweetpea. Sing me a song, so I know that you love it.'"

Some Day Her Paints Will Come

Happy anniversary to Disneyland, which opened on this day in 1955. Perhaps one day, Kevin Thompson will score a winning goal in the Super Bowl, look into the camera, and declare his intention to go there. And on that day, Mr. DeMartino will lose whatever may remain of his sanity.

Jane, however, seems oddly content considering she's surrounded by woodland creatures that may well be about to strike. Hey, I'll bet there's a Sick, Sad World episode for that. Any ideas for the SSW teaser?

Fanfic Update!

• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 9): "What was going to happen tonight? What was this Yeerk pool anyway, what were we going to find? Would we manage to destroy this thing? Would we manage to free Trent? Was Quinn right? Was I really going to have to—"


• College Bound (Iron Chef - Doug, Susan and Ramona), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "She approached and put her binder down on the table next to him. 'Evan Landon?' 'Uh-huh.' 'I'm Ramona Johnson, your new Math tutor.' 'Uh-huh,' he said again, not looking up from his football."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 9 Soaking Up Summer, by Shiva (part 3): "'Afterward we talked on the phone and just hung out for a couple days before she took me to DC on a day trip, remember all those times Quinn had us go to the mall with her and her friends?' Both Jeffy and Joey shuddered at the memories, all the bag carrying, the expensive gifts, being forced to wait in the car for hours on end, and all of it to get the favor of girls who didn’t give a crap about them at all. 'Well this was so much better,' Jamie replied with a big grin, 'She bought clothes for me.'"


• Eye on the Target (Iron Chef - Let's Play Sports), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Three shots, three centers. Daria smiled when she saw that, once again, her arrows had hit the target perfectly."


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 8): "'Well ...' replied Jane '... in fact, we've captured something...' she pointed her finger at her left shoulder, where the little fairy, bandaged almost like a little mummy... thanks to Jane's really poor medical skills ... was graciously sitting '... though not in the way it was supposed to be captured. I hope it's not a problem for you, auntie...' she expectantly asked."


• First Day of Summer, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Let’s see, fifteen stores, including twelve clothing stores,' Quinn said as she leafed through the application forms. 'One of them JJ Jeeters,' Sandi murmured. 'Sandi, remember what I said earlier,' Quinn said. 'Yeah, beggers cannot be choosers, but the clothes there are very garish,' Sandi said."


• Full Circle (IC: Sandi Triumphant), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Sandi smiled at the three little ones playing out in the front yard while she pulled her latest quilt up around her just a little more tightly."


• Getting Along (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Darius Morgendorffer had hoped that they could have dwelled in their own personal heaven forever, but alas Helen had called that morning informing her son that she and Jake would be cutting their trip short since she and Rita had argued so badly that Grandma had kicked them out."



• The Great White Dope (IC: KKKevin), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "How much life had changed since Kevin Thompson got arrested for being caught in a KKK rally. The joke was that there were more FBI agents than Klansmen in any konflagration or whatever the hell those nuts called themselves. It was easy for the FBI guys to talk Kevin into saying something stupid."


• The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 7): "I went to take a bite of my pizza, when the phone rang. Quinn leapt up and answered it. 'Hello? Oh.... Hold on.' She brought the phone to me. 'It’s Tom.' I found myself flying out of the chair, grabbing the phone."


• Immortal Blood, by Shiva (part 6): "'I am proud of you Child,' Felix said softly while looking down into Skylar’s flashing blue eyes, 'You have taken your first steps into eternity.' Felix didn’t have to use his psychic power, nor the link between them to know that his Child’s mind was starting to fall back on what it knew. The human instinct for guilt after making the first kill."


• In Bulgaria (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Mr Edwards would have continued if the church door hadn't exploded off its hinges. 'FREEZE! NATIONAL POLICE SERVICE!'"


• Insult Me!!! (Iron Chef: Opposites Attract), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "She only waited a few seconds, then her drive was there. Immediately she was met with insulting loud music that was totally outdated, the smell of beer and cheap booze and motor oil, an absolute fashion disaster and of course an insult. Like every morning."



• In the Woods (IC: Sleeping With Strangers (But Not Like That!)), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Graham felt freezing cold as he slowly sat up and felt a sudden stabbing pain move across his fabulous brain. 'Ow!' he moaned while rubbing the back of his head where the pain was coming from, then as he tried to stand up he began to notice things, like that he was the middle of the woods, and that he was only wearing his tighty whiteys."


• Is Eat College Yet? (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Envelope small and thin: not good,' Daria muttered to herself as she opened the message from Bromwell."


• Jane Waits (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.' Daria chanted over and over again while smearing blood upon an altar with unspeakable objects upon them, her eyes filled with the madness of having seen things that no mortal should ever know."


• The Journal of Steve Rowe (A genderswap never before done), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "I'm writting in you because Mrs. Manson thinks it's good for me. Well an intro should help, I'm Steven Liam Rowe, but everyone just calls me Steve! Hee Hee Hee! It was either this or go back to that stupid Self-Esteemy class, ugh!"


• The Kissing Book, by DeacBlue (part 5): "'Death cannot stop True Love. All it can do is delay it for a while.' Daria blushed. 'I will never doubt again.' Jane, in a near-whisper, said, 'There will never be a need.' And she then kissed Daria."


• Loner Type (A genderswap never before done), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "She was independent. He felt he needed her. He never thought about how hypocritical his love was. When she returned to Texas, he was heart-broken, In desperation, he tried each year to get Camp Grizzly to do a reunion, all to see her again."


• Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 2): "'Problem?' Daria asked, stowing the knife and grabbing her pack. The two girls began walking down the hallway. Jane shrugged. 'I wasn't gonna enter the contest. She got all . . . .' 'Pushy?' Daria asked, a slight growl in her voice. 'Excited,' Jane corrected gently."



• My Name is Quinn, by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "My name is Quinn Morgendorffer, and I am a brain."


• Operation Glitterberries: Chapter 08, by BF110C4 (part 2): "Marianne was distracted from the conversation by a short, sharp, noise coming upstairs, followed by a much closer crash and crack that gave her a bad feeling. 'Just a second Helen, something wrong.' Without waiting from a response form her boss she rushed the stairs, and what she found horrified her."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser (COMPLETE!): "Jane said: 'O.K., Daria, I'm seeing it and I bet you are too. But that's not a dream, but an hallucination, probably induced by contact with fish that fed on psychedelic algae blooms. That, or the Tikis are messing with us.'"


• Saving Humanity? (IC: Sleeping With Strangers (But Not Like That!)), by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "He turned over and froze as he saw a redheaded teenager laying on her left side. He felt his mouth dry up as he stared at her sleeping form. Who are you? And where the hell am I?"


• Sexy Daria: Sexy Cute Models, by Shiva (part 5): "Then when her alarm clock failed to go off, Charles had proven to be an early riser and had gotten her up and never once leered or said anything Upchuckish. 'He’s growing up fast Mrs. Lane.. Jane thought to herself, .And growing up to be pretty damn good.' That last bit caused absolutely everything in the fiber of her being to suddenly freeze. Upchuck... looked good?!"


• Sisters of Silence (Iron Chef: Opposites Attract), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany sat on a bench, not moving for hours and staring straight ahead. Neither she nor her companion sad anything, just starring and sitting. It wasn't like there was anything to look at, just a building site without any movement, the workers long gone home. A tumbleweed blew past. Nothing happened."


• Stacy 13 (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "A brief thrill ran through Stacy as she heard the voice. She was strapped into the rocket along with two other astronauts on the first expedition back to the moon in decades. She was to be the first woman on the moon. 'Suck it, Sandi,' she thought to herself, a smile on her face."



• This is Lawndale (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Nooooooooo. Stop. How dare you do this to me. I am your principal. 'Angela Li screamed while two security guards carried her on the school roof."


• Unexpected Hookup: A Bigger Bite, by Shiva (part 6): "'I think that, well... Well I’m not sure what they’re thinking but... I’ve been thinking and... Well...' There was a pause and Daria was tempted to hang up the phone before Quinn forced it out. 'I’m not happy.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: KKKevin), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'My Spring Break was awesome! At first I thought it was gonna suck, cause my family went down to visit my boring aunt and uncle in Texas and they wanted us to go with them to this new church or something they joined. It sounded really dumb, but then it turned out really cool. When we got to the meeting, everybody was dressed in white and the leader had, like a hood or something over his head...'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Sleeping With Strangers (But Not Like That!)), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Jane stirred slightly as if she was getting over being shot. Tiffany was at a loss for words; which in all fairness was an understatement. Jane was missing her red jacket and the equally unfashionable footwear. She spoke in a low voice that sounded very intimidating."


• Unnamed story (IC: Sleeping With Strangers (But Not Like That!)), by januense (COMPLETE!): "Mack was the fist to wake up. He shook his head, trying to remember what the hell happened to make him faint like that."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Doug, Susan and Ramona), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'No offense,' Daria addressed the curvacious, cyan-haired woman fixing her makeup in the mirror of the ladies' room, to which they had retreated in order to be able to converse without Icebox Woman drowning them out, 'But you look older than I thought you'd be.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Opposites Attract), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Here he comes, she thought, bracing herself. He's gonna say it, but I'm not going to laugh this time."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Embrace the Madness), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Quinn, whatcha doin?' 'I'm writing... trying to write this report for O'Neill. It's Macbeth this year, he wants us to write about some personal insight we might have into this scene with Lady Macbeth washing her hands. Any ideas?'"


• Unpopular, by Reven384 (part 2): "'That loser will pay for bumping into me. Losers like her need to know their place,' Sandi said before an idea came into her mind and she walked towards Skyler’s normal spot during lunch."


• The Visit, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well I just came to tell you that Dad died a few weeks ago, a heart attack while on a cruise to Jamaica.' Evan then sighed when Rachel continued to sit glassy eyed in her little white chair in the sunlight filtering through the tiny window in her little white room in the Brookside Rest Home."

Some Day Her Paints Will Come....

Jane is looking especially happy (and out of character) because today is the anniversary of the premiere of the Disney film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937. If Tom was freaked out by Jane's kiwi-flavored lip gloss, then this image would probably send him straight over the edge.

It was also on this day in 2002 that Karen and Derek held their wedding/vow renewal in Richard Lobinske's Falling Into College story "Christmas in White." Seems to have worked out for them so far, so congratulations to the happy couple.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 4, by DeacBlue (part 4): "Jen flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. 'We've been really clear on what she's done that she shouldn't. And we aren't talking about any of that stuff right away. But if she stays stupid, then yeah, she'll deserve what she gets, and we're going to give it to her. Nobody fucks with our family and walks away unbroken.' 'Okay,' Quinn said in a small voice. 'So can we do something to help Stacy?' 'I think that we can, though you'll need to take a step back,' said Daria. 'You see...'"


• Camp Pu, by Smijey (part 3): "'I'm just...I'm just so scared, Daria, and you won't tell me anything, and I fell on my butt. Why did you smash up Mr. Potts' wall, Daria? You'll get in big trouble.' Daria sighed. 'Look, Amelia. I don't want to say anything until I know for sure what's going on. I have a lot of hints what's going on...and they scare the hell out of me...but I don't want to scare you or Quinn if it turns out I'm wrong. Okay?"'"


• End of Innocence, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "She knelt in front of the body to admire her work. The face was a horrid mess, even more gross than having an allergic reaction underneath too much blush that didn’t go with your eyes. His limbs were twisted in directions they had no business going in. The cold smile came back. He couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. Crowbars can do a lot of damage, especially if you used the pointy end."


• Fallout Lawndale: 2289, by Vukodlak (part 2): "Daria sat tied to a parking post next to a dumpster in the raiders makeshift camp in back of the Goodtime Chinese Restaurant. At least they fixed her leg she mused looking at the bandages. Daria tried to keep her focus on her pain rather then her fear of what might happen to her. She’d been there for hours, it was already dark and there was no sign of Jane or anyone from home. Maybe they couldn’t find her; maybe they’d never find her or worse what if Jane didn’t make it."


• I Wanna Take You For A Ride (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Get out of here, kid! I'll handle him!' Shouted a tall, wiry, gun-toting woman dressed in what appeared to be fetish gear. As Daria pulled back to the sidelines to tend to her wound the air was filled with the sound of gunfire."


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 2): "Curious, Jodie stood up from her seat and walked to the front of the room to wave her hand in front of the still figure of their science teacher, Ms. Barch. 'No response.' 'I think you broke her,' Mack said."


• LLH Alternate Future - 09 - It Never Ends, by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'Actually,” said Armalin as he entered the custody area followed by Callisto and Cybelle, “You know what you’re like, and are projecting it onto the feared other, all the mutants ever did was exist.' 'You’re a mutant too, aren’t you?' said the scientist. 'Yes I am, and I’m about to make your fears come to life.'" (Part 10)


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (part 15): "Once all the orders had been filled and the kids ran off with sticky faces, Mack dropped his head in his hands and sighed. 'How the hell do you do it, man?' he asked. 'I've seen nothing but feral, demonic children since I started this job, but you walk up and suddenly they're practically human. What's your secret?'"


• Quinn's Code 05: Morgendorffers vs. Amazon, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but we feel that Quinn is something quite special!' 'We think she's pretty special, too, but so is my other daughter, Daria. She hasn't got any extracurriculars.' 'Daria, but she is so plain!' 'That's my final offer,' Helen said. Then the phone was disconnected from the other end..."


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by peapotmaster: "SUSAN: You must be Daria Morgendoffer of Lawndale? MARY: Our loser of a brother told up about you. DARIA: Is your brother named Johnny Quest...I mean Test?"


• Unnamed story (IC: reading the newspaper at a wedding), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'But, but, I'd just scored a contract with City Hall!' Jake choked out after Daria had mentioned the contents of the paper she was holding, having no desire to interact with her father's side of the family. Or any side, really."

Think Jane Knows Any Dwarves?

Disneyland opened on this day in 1955, which is why Jane is dressed as Snow White on the left there. Let's just hope she doesn't actually try to do any singing, or else those cute little woodland creatures might turn feral. There aren't any explicit references to Disneyland in canon that I could find, but there are several nods to Disney in general in various episodes:

In "Speedtrapped," upon learning that Mystik Spiral's world tour consists of a gig 100 miles away, Daria replies, "It's a small world after all." If you didn't already know, that's from one of the rides at Disneyland...and good luck getting that song out of your head any time soon.

In "Road Worrier," the group's road trip game runs "I'm going to the picnic, and I'm bringing asbestos insulation, brine shrimp, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney...and a dromedary."

"Sappy Anniversary" finds Daria comparing herself to the donkeys in Pinocchio and is advised by Jane to "Always let your conscience be your--" before Daria tells her to shut up.

Even the special "Look Back In Annoyance" gets in on the act with Jane's comment, "Hey, we're gonna be out of work soon. I'm trying to get a job with Disney." I'd love to see what Jane's Disney animation work would look like.

Fanfic Update!

• 86 Bottles of Beer: I Spy, with My Extra Eye, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "'I guess we should start gathering information.' 'Okay. I'll head over to the salon and see if they know anything about Dr. Shar.' 'I'm gonna check out the lingerie section!' 'Kevin!'"


• Can I Have This Dance?, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jane stared at the BFAC announcement board. Her favorite holiday was approaching and the poster for the annual Halloween Costume Ball was staring at her in the face. As she walked to her next class, Jane began to wonder if she could convince her still somewhat anti-social girlfriend to attend. Jane decided to take a shot and after class and a quick check of her slush fund, Jane bought two tickets. On the ride home, she stared at the freshly purchased pieces of paper and smiled."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: Starfire, please. We solve crimes. Sometimes, you have to walk on the darkside and wrestle with ideas you never thought you'd countenance, if only to dismiss them. Starfire: It sounds ... dangerous."


• Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 1): "Highland High had forgot to renew its protection with the Black Hats and the Todd’s Boys, so the school bus was assaulted and torched (along with the driver) partway through the journey. Luckily, the teenagers had had enough money on them to buy their way safely through the remaining mile; luckier still, this meant Daria missed Gym class. (She hoped the school would pay up soon, if she had to walk home she’d miss Buffy And Da Slayerz)"


• God Save the Esteem 32: Nuts to Work, by Charles RB (part 2): "'You’ve got a job?' Helen beamed. 'That’s wonderful, Quinn! Once you have your own independent income stream, you can have greater quantities of and more elaborate piercings and leather – and none of The Mans can stop you when it’s your money!' 'The tax Man,' said Daria. 'Daria, don’t upset your sister.'"


• Green Dragon Rising, by Grifter74: "Daria struggled against Goldar's iron grip to no avail, as she was dragged through a palace on the moon, of all things. They were followed by Squatt and Baboo, who held Jane between them still wrapped up in the net. The group eventually stopped in front of a balcony where Rita Repulsa stood. 'The humans you wanted, Your Majesty,' Goldar said as he made a sweeping bow." (New part)


• He Shall Be Mine (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, this isn't some airhead jock or stuck-up preppie we're talking about, here,' Jane lectured in a stern voice. 'This is Bob--as in THE Bob, as in Robert Freakin' Carter. Every alternative, goth, punk, and any other genus of sub-culture chick in Lawndale High has been after him since freshman year--but he wants you.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 12): "'We're dangerous men whose very existence disrupts the fabric of the fragile, weak, hypocritical little society that ordinary people build around themselves.' He said calmly, waxing philosophical. He liked to think of himself as more than just a glorified street hustler who'd managed to make bank, whether it was true or not. 'It's like we're the children of different gods than the rest of this world, thrust into it just so they can sit back and enjoy the chaos we bring to all the little people's lives.' He laughed grimly again. 'Like some damn kid throwing a couple of angelfish into a tank of bettas just to watch them eat their fill.'"


• Just Doing My Job (Iron Chef - A competent Dr. Manson), by Hyrin (part 2): "'Quinn, how are you doing in the Self-Esteem Class?' 'Fan-freaking-tastic,' Quinn muttered as she picked at her lasagna. 'Quinn?' 'What makes them think I have low self-esteem, anyway?' 'Should we list examples alphabetically, or chronologically?' Daria asked as she took a large bite."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "As she exited the school building, Quinn saw Sandi running after Elias down the street. ‘That’s not good,’ she thought. She knew that Elias had the emerald (having seen him with it when she got to class). She looked back, but Stacy, Tiffany, Daria, Jane or anyone else involved in the events earlier in the day were not around. 'I guess it’s up to me,' she said with a nervous laugh. She then followed after Sandi."


• Not So Different 67: Outlook: Sonny With A Few Clouds, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Tom explained that nobody got in from the wait-list as if it were a piece of information Sonny might not already have. Sonny asked him to stop being so diplomatic. Tom apologised for blurting and explained he’d been shocked as if that were a piece of information Sonny might not already have. ‘I did get accepted to Raft’, Sonny said, failing to change the subject."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (parts 3 - 5): "KEVIN: No, I might be the QB but a QB is only as good as his wide receiver. Daria you are MY wide receiver on this. Daria, Can you help make this catch into the end zone? DARIA: Kevin? KEVIN: Yea, Daria. DARIA: I can't believe you actually used a football analogy and that I totally got it." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Screams in the Night (The Night Series: Night 8), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "I learned as much about her as I could. I cut class to watch her at lunch, and listened to her conversations to try and collect as much of her as I could. Then, I tried again. She still wouldn't let me help her. So I decided not to give her a choice."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Just looking at her makes me feel tired. Where I had imagined before that I could feel the weight of all my gear pressing down on me, now I really can. An entire world's worth of weariness settles around my head, my shoulders, pulling my limbs down as sleep threatens to overtake me. How long have I been at this? Hours? Days? Years? I try to remember having done anything other than trudge from one horror to another. It's so very very hard all of a sudden, and seeing Quinn looking as if she's just stepped out of the salon isn't helping matters any." (Ending) (Alternate Ending 1) (Alternate Ending 2) (Alternate Ending 3) (Alternate Ending 4)


• Shady Cooking, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The kitchen light snapped on and Daria whirled from the stove to find Jake standing in the doorway, looking surprised. 'Daria? What's that smell?' 'Shit,' Daria muttered under her breath. 'Busted.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker (part 9): "The younger Morgendorffer sister half sat, half fell into her seat. The strain of several round trips to England in these past few months showed on her face. It fell to Quinn to be the liaison between Morgendorffer Advanced Engineering, the War Department, the U.S. military and civilian scientific establishment, as well as M.A.E. and the United Kingdom Ministry of Defence and the U.K. military and civilian scientific establishment. Both her astounding intelligence and her natural charm proved equally useful on both sides of the Atlantic."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Three Ninjas), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn were sitting at the dinner table, when suddenly the windows shattered as three ninjas, weapons at the ready, burst into the kitchen."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria reached one hand under her pillow to caress the two items nestled beneath it for what seemed like the hundredth time. She had bought them a few days prior, in reaction to receiving her Bromwell 'wait-list' letter. The letter made out that the number of wait-listed applicants was rather long, and the basic gist was that Daria shouldn't keep her hopes up."


• The Way of the Sword and the Parchment (Iron Chef: Three Ninjas), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Fantastic. Such a fine sword! You know, I’ve been practicing swordsmanship for several years now, but it really difficult when you only have some centuries old literature as a guide and completely lack an adversary and dojo and, principally, a good teacher.' He dropped his voice to an almost whisper. 'But you know what I really would like? To be able to forge my own sword.' He smiled. 'That’s why I asked you if you had made it...'"

Hi Ho, Janey-Oh!

As Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner informs us, Disneyland is 55 years old today. Our Heroine, Jane Lane, takes on the role of Walt Disney's Snow White for the occasion, PLUS! the real Snow White from Disney for artistic comparison. Very clever, these MTV artists.

Charles RB offers up a new Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend. Ooooo...

NEW! RLobinske has updated the 2010 Big List o' Daria Visual Fanworks! Great works on display to the world! Hooray!

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 19): Scarlett didn’t know what time it was when she finally woke up. She laid still as she oriented herself to the darkened teacher’s office that was now their room. Roger's right arm was draped over her right side and his thumb was hooked into her panty waistband. My shirt must have rode up, she thought as she chuckled, or he made it ride up. Dirty boy. She smiled and carefully pulled his hand free. I wonder what the schedule is for the showers here.
• The Continuing Adventures of an ANGRY!!! Young Man, by Charles RB (Part 3): In military school, they’d taught him how to survive against all odds. On the football field, he’d learned how to endure great pain. As a high school student, he’d had to put up with lots of idiots. All of his skill and learning would be pushed to the test once more. It was time for History class with Mr. Thompson.
• Daria/Dorian 4: Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "...and, in conclusion, this project taught us many valuable lessons about financial transactions in the real world." Mack looked around the room. "Yeah," Kevin said, "like never leave a cash down payment." Kevin burst into tears. "Oh gosh, don't let them see me like this." The next thing anyone knew, Kevin was running out of the room. Mack watched in confusion as Kevin left. "Umm... thank you very much." Mrs. Bennett took a quick glance at her door before allowing Mack to sit down. Jodie gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. He just sat and shook his head. "Now Dorian and Jane will talk about budgeting a wedding."

• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 and 3): “I’m just getting ready for Prom right now.” Finn returned, carefully steering the conversation. “Really? I’ve already got my dress picked out,” Stacy gushed. “Please say I can show you. Ohmigod, it’s totally great. Kyle totally thought so too, it’s going to match him perfectly!” “Kyle? Kyle Stentson, the junior on the soccer team?” “Yeah, he asked me, offered to buy my ticket...” “How does a guy who can’t even go somewhere ask you on a date?” “Finn, is there something about Kyle I should know?” Stacy asked innocently. (Part 3 here)
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 6): "Good afternoon," Derek told the crowd. "Here's your chance to share your stories about friends and loved ones that served their country and are no longer with us. My thoughts are with everyone who ever served in the 21st Infantry Regiment, Massachusetts National Guard. From it's inception as the 21st Massachusetts Volunteers in 1862 to those currently on station in Iraq. All of you are by buddies." He stepped back and motioned to Daria to step forward. She crossed the stage and had to pull the microphone down to be heard. "I'm thinking about my grandfather, Nathan Morgendorffer. He was a Marine in the Korean War that landed at Inchon and was later wounded at Chosin. He was... he was never the same afterward."
• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (part 1): Grove Hills had, in the frightened tones of people who are expecting lawsuits or (worse) bad press, informed the Morgendorffers’ that Daria had “run away” with a strange crew. So when Daria turned up at their house the next morning in the company of different strangers and with a dirt-covered skirt, Helen had screamed her head off. After she found out Daria had just gone to a concert, Helen just screamed. A lot. “I can’t BELIEVE you, young lady, this is COMPLETELY unacceptable you’ve put ME down, you’ve let your FATHER down and worst of all you’ve let YOURSELF down, you’re going straight back to Grove Hills—” “Hur hur hur, she said we’ve gone down on someone. Heh heh heh heh!” (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 44): "Hi," said the stranger. "Megan Eastman." "Kiki Morgendorffer," Quinn said. "Morgendorffer?" Eastman asked. "Are you related to Daria Morgendorffer?" "Oh... no. No, it's entirely a coincidence. I'm an only child." "Well... good," said Megan, not entirely convinced.
• Judith Strikes! Educator DeMartino in "Malled!" by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): 1997! The rise of youth crime has forced teachers and the police to be merged into one… Only hard men can keep discipline! Hard men like EDUCATOR DEMARTINO! (Daria/Judge Dredd)
• Judith Strikes! Mack Dynamite vs. the Crimson Phantom, by Erin M. (Part 3): Mack Dynamite's eyes flashed open and he rolled out of bed just as the katana came swinging down and embedded itself in his mattress. He got to his feet, moving automatically into a fighting stance. Across the bedroom, Judith stood at the foot of his bed, arms folded, a smirk on the visible portion of her face. "Nice reflexes," she said.

• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 17): "I was thinking we should concentrate around the Fenway or Kenmore Square. But... check this out, Jane. The Orange Line goes right near your school too. It stops at a station called 'Ruggles'." "You know, Daria, we could live anywhere we want. My dad says that the North End is really nice and they have fantastic Italian food." "Really?" Daria did a search for apartments there. "There are some good deals there." She went onto Wikipedia for more information on the North End. "Oh cool! Take a look at this, Jane. The North End was where the Great Molasses Disaster happened." "Molasses Disaster?"
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Jane eased the gag out of Tom's mouth. "Yeah, sorry about this, but..."
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Stacy was beside herself with happiness. Micky, her very favorite uncle, was coming to Lawndale to film a segment for his cable TV series, Appallingly Filthy Working Conditions! on the Discovery Channel....
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): After high school, Sandi moved out to California and moved in with her flamboyantly redheaded Aunt Kathy...
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Daria and Jane sat in the cheap plastic chairs, waiting. Jane passed the time playing computer solitaire while Daria flipped through this week's issue of the Economist. Jane's computer beeped.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend), by Minx (COMPLETE!): "Now answer me," said Daria to Jane, "why do people think that I'm you?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): Artie was hunched in front of his computer screen. An odd assortment of lights were blinking on the display. "You wanted to see me, Artie?" He flinched and turned. "Claudia, I wish you would stop sneaking up on me." (Daria/Warehouse 13)
• Unnamed story (Raft College: The First Year), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "Hey Daria, I wanna make these ginger cookies for Christmas, and we're all out of molasses. Could you pick some up when you go to the store?"
  

Fantasyland Is Open

The DariaWiki page on fantasy in Daria fanfiction is mostly completed. It could use more examples and subgenres, if anyone can think of some. Please give it a look and post your thoughts here. Did I miss anything? If anyone has some deep thoughts about Daria fantasies (not the sex kind), those are welcome, too. A lot of empty links were left that others are welcome to expand upon if I don't get around to it. I'm not picky.

I hope to read some fanfic tomorrow. Wasn't able to get through much of it today. Cheers.

P.S. If anyone wants to borrow the pictures posted here, be my guest. I've fiddled with some of them to sharpen fuzzy images, heighten colors and contrast, clean up unnecessary parts, and enlarge smaller pix. Fun stuff.