Does Heliocentrism Make Me Look Faaaaat?

Happy birthday to Nicolaus Copernicus, born on this day in 1473. Copernicus, of course, is the astronomer who worked out that everything revolves around the sun, not the Earth. As far as Tiffany is concerned, though, she is the center of the solar system.

 It was also on this day in 2001 that the episode "Fizz Ed" first aired. Keep drinking!

Fandom News!

• Join in the discussion about the giant meteorite that hit Russia.


• Who would win in a battle between Borg Cube vs. Death Star? Vote in the poll!


• breitasparrow started a new fanfic-related game, Name That Crack Fic!


• Four new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Shiva's Amy the Lawyer, DIsaac's Things that will never come out of Daria's Mouth, EVER! and Things that will never come out of Jane's mouth... EVER!, and peetz5050's Things that will never come out of Quinn's mouth.. EVER!

Quinn Will Make a Dainty Viking Helmet for Her Head and Sing

On this day in 1904, Puccini's opera Madame Butterfly premiered in Milan. Almost one hundred years later, it premiered in the automotive department at Payday. Or so DeMartino claims, anyway.

Today is also the anniversary of the original airing of both the musical episode "Daria!" in 1999 and Sarcastathon 3000 in 2001. What a day for singing, huh?

Fanfic Update!

• The Big Truth (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You wished to see me, Miss Morgendorffer?' Li sounded like she'd rather be having root canal work done."


• Bonding Over Bad Art, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "To get over his breakup blues, Tom Sloane decided that he needed to indulge in what he did best. Snark the hell out of something to validate his worth as a human being." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• A Cut Above the Rest (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Tom,' Jane started, 'ten months ago, you stole my heart.'"


• The Dale of Lawn, by Wassersauefer (part 11): "Theodore, called Ted by his parents once before he had killed them, watched the scene only a few miles outside his keep with keen interest. What a jolly, amusing sight it was. He had of course known of the presence of the enemy cavalry long before they had come into visual range, his flying scouts had noticed them easily."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 18b): "'Can I spend the night at Rod's?' — 'You could spend some time with our friends. Kris is.' Dylan had seen Ellen Breger and knew what interested Kris, but he decided to leave that subject alone."


• Heroes and Villains Part Two: Queen Sandi, by Reven384 (part 2): "'Touch that guy,' Quinn said. 'But he'll die,' Stacy said. Quinn's eyes blared into hers and what she saw in them frightened her. She touched the guy's forehead."


• I'm Burning Up!, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "'So, when are you going to tell me where we're going?' Daria inquired to Jane, who like her bounced along with the rickety Tank 2, driven by Trent."


• Life's Little Worries (chapter 1), by oni (part 1): "With the idea of the intruder possibly caring a gun entering Angier's mind, he bent down and slightly crept towards the desk instead of announcing his presence right there and going on the attack."


• Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 1): "Daria entered the kitchen already dressed for school. Her hair was down, as usual if she wasn't practicing acrobatics or Karate, and she had upgraded her glasses to have no frame on the bottoms. Her prescription was too much for no rims at all, and Daria hated the thought of contacts. She was wearing black cargo capris, an orange t-shirt, and a green hoodie."


• Old Married Valentines, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Michael chuckled and said, 'Hold on, I have a cunning plan.' Daria shook her head, but smirked. 'A cunning plan? Should I be worried?'"


• Poseurs (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "So Joey worked for a living. That was a new and daunting experience for him but he stuck with it. He had no qualifications, experience or skills so by day he sold nuts in a stupid hat for It's A Nutty Nutty Nutty Nutty World (SMILE) and by night he bussed tabes and swept up in bars and it STILL wasn't enough! He forensically examined the small ads in all of the local papers every night, there had to be something... wait a second..."


• Sandi's Dirty Secret (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Once Sandi had her curtains shut, her door locked, and the latest (and most fashionable) pop music playing as white noise did she feel safe."


• Should Not Be, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "A couple of hundred yards ahead of her she saw three boys come up to Quinn Morgendorffer and surround her. They seemed to be talking to her but she was too far away to hear anything. Darian had stopped nearby. She saw one of the trio, the black haired one, walk over to him and shove him back."


• The Summer Back, by Shiva (part 3): "As Jamie watched her walk to the front door, part of him wished that he had kissed her. 'It's too soon.' he reminded himself before driving away. Not realizing that Daria's train of thought was on a similar track."


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria Characters Valentines Day Card), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Anthony pressed down on his pen as he tried to complete the message on the thin card he had bought with his meager salary, therefore ensuring that he couldn't eat for the next three days."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Monique knew the girl was hitting on her from a distance. Even after she left her group of friends she kept walking. Her walk oozed sexiness and she couldn't help following the girl. She was entranced."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "The young woman with the round glasses was staring down at the items the cashier had just rung up. They sat in a plastic sack off to the side of the counter, with only a rudimentary sort of order imposed on the chaos of their jumbled positioning. A long pause followed, the sound of other checkout lanes the only backdrop."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "'Here,' Jane whispered intently, 'this one should fit.' Daria gave the brown robe a sour look as she took it. 'You sure this will work?' she hissed as she slipped it on."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Tom kissed me Jane.' 'What?!' 'He kissed me Jane, I'm sorry but he did and... I hated it.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared at the computer screen, looking more than a little uncomfortable. Jane's expression was closer to horror than discomfort, and she spoke first, voice barely rising above the sobbing coming from the laptop's speakers."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened the mailbox to find a large manila envelope. It read on the cover, in simple red lettering, 'Fandom Louse Publishing Press'."


• The Watcher (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Unnoticed in the audience, a teenage boy in cheap shoes, a grey sweater, and khakis had watched with more than a hint of wistfulness as his two exes participated in their High School graduation ceremony."


• Yunny, by Brain Camper (parts 1 - 4): "so un dey drarnia wnet ta lis offooce dand dere sdas un owful sught ta buhudl" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

For All Those People Who Aren't in a Relation-date-ship-thing

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, so it's only appropriate that today is Singles Awareness Day. If you're single, celebrate (or commiserate) with some half-price Valentine's Day candy. If you aren't, at least spare some sympathy for poor Daria there. Until "Dye! Dye! My Darling," that is.

Fandom News!

• Whom do you consider to be the worst TV parents?


• welltemperedclavier is looking for other Planescape fans.


• Share your cheers and jeers about the Harry Potter books and movies.


• Roentgen wonders about people's "Exceptions" within genres.


• Tell everyone about your real life incidents that beg to be Daria fanfiction.


• DIsaac posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria Characters Valentines Day Card.


• Discuss Larne Pekowsky's Alone in the Golden Oldies forum.

Dibs on "Esmerelda"!

Today is Get a Different Name Day, so this is your chance to follow the advice of Jake Morgendorffer: "Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Okay, maybe you don't have to go that far. Unless you really want to, that is.

Fanfic Update!

• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 3): "A single voice emerged and began to speak. 'Daria...' And then there was light."


• Camwhores (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane had installed a minicamera in the Art Department closet, where supplies were kept. There was rumor that a mouse was nibbling at the supplies, and Jane was going to turn it into an art project called 'The Hunger for Art'. 'Yeah. But F the mouse. F him real good. I've got gold on this cam!'"


• Cracked Helmet (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Kev, you alright?' one of the nameless football players asked the figure sprawled out on the ground."


• The Dale of Lawn , by Wassersauefer (parts 8 - 10): "When she came into the room where the sewing circle was held she immediately noticed a girl she had not seen before. Not because she was good at memorizing faces or such, but because that girl was wearing a lovely pink dress which accentuated her pretty eyes and her scarlett hair well. She was, though not the most good looking girl she had ever seen, well dressed and graceful. She was cute and had clearly good sense for fashion and colors." (Part 9) (Part 10)


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 3): "Five minutes into the latest break from reading, the first ray of hope since they had been brought into this hell emerged. In the form of a red door with a golden knob."


• Daria and Jane: On Those Cool Lightsabers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So let me get this straight,' Jane said to Daria as they looked over the DariaWiki, 'An Angst Lord gets a cool red lightsaber, and a Cheer Lord gets a "cheersaber", right?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 18a): "Their father welcomed the Bregers by name as they got out of their vehicle. 'Leaf! Raven!' At least, Dylan was assuming those were names."


• Ellis Island (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "He kept time with his foot as he played the opening bars of the song on his penny whistle. His friend Barney chimed in on the lively melody with his banjo, plucking away at the strings with a big smile on his bearded face. After a couple of bars Neasy took the whistle from his lips and started to sing."


• Full of It (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria stepped behind Kevin and winced. What she was about to do was all-out sacrilege towards any football player, or at least one of his caliber. But the sight of Jane gradually pulling a twenty-dollar bill out of her wallet spurred her on."


• Gettysburg, Pennsylvania - 1861 (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'My father ran into yours after a meeting with the Governor. Jake told him that you had decided to join the Union Army. IS IT TRUE?! When were you going to tell ME? I thought you LOVED me??'"


• Glorious Crap (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Hold on, hold on......you want me to do WHAT?!'"


• Honest Trailers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Narrator, in one of those dramatic movie voices: From the man who shares his name with a type of house, comes the show about a girl who is so sexually unappealing that she was turned down by a pair of horny toads."


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 9): "As Conrad carried Scarlett inside her bedroom, the normally placid and curious Roger the Mouse fled to the far end of his cage and squeaked repeatedly. 'Calm down, dammit!' the father said as he laid his daughter in her bed. 'It's just us!' Roger attempted to escape his cage on the opposite end from the bed. 'I don't get it,' Tananda said. 'Why is he acting like this? He's never been afraid of us before.'"


• It's Okay To Cry, Amelia (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Ms. Kinnikufan (COMPLETE!): "Amelia couldn't believe she deluded herself the same way again: that hero worship equaled friendship. No wait, it was far, far, worse this time: it equaled a crash that could be reciprocated."


• Jake Loses His Sh*t (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The first blood vessel popped. Then the other."


• Kevin With His Mates (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the early light of the morning, Kevin found himself to be the first one to wake up. He had to remind himself that he was the only one who was a morning person."


• Learning Something About Mack (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what is it that we're doing? I mean besides breaking countless laws?' Daria asked as she watched Jane pick the lock at the Mackenzie's."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 16): "Rachel looked down at her baby brother, keeping him calm was becoming an impossible task; normally she resented the hell out of being his nursemaid. This time... She looked into his soft, innocent brown eyes and said, 'We can't take this anymore.'"


• My Night at Daria's, Ad Infinitum, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "There was a rap at the door. 'Come in,' the old man's voice called out. The door opened, spilling light into the dim room. In walked a young woman wearing a tube top, a miniskirt, and high heels. She was not the maid."


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 26): "'You want me to what?' she said, trying very hard to control her voice. 'I want you to come to the game this Saturday,' Kevin said, sitting up from where he'd stretched out on her couch."


• The Partnership (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Jane looked longingly at the bottle of off-brand port sitting on her fride, as once again her mother's even monotone, mixed with her logic, started a mild headache. 'Look mom, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if that position at Ashfield for the summer was still available.'" (Part 1.2) (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Peculiar Art of Friendship in the Time of the Raj (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by deneich (COMPLETE!): "'Helen, my dear, this girl's name is Jayna and she will be serving the Family as Daria's personal attendant.' 'Excuse me, Father, but what did you just say?' said the shorter of the two younger ladies. Her words were spoken politely; however, they were accompanied by a menacing stare."


• Pope Jane (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Iana looked at the body of the dead man and then back to the feverish eyes of her friend. 'You want me to what?' Shock made her voice tremble. 'Become pope,' Teodaria said. 'It's our only chance.'"


• Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'All that is happening is that I unfairly got grounded.' 'Grounded, what for? Wait, what about the Jury Pruce Dancing?'"


• Reality Bites (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Sandi? Sandi Griffin is that you?' 'Oh... Hi Keh-winn. I... I... didn't expect to see you here... How are you?'"


• Requisite untitled AU Book I: Past, by mac (COMPLETE!): "'Daria! Are Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Jake back from their honeymoon yet?' Daria just managed not to flinch at hearing Brittany call her father 'Uncle Jake.' 'Not yet. They should be back soon, though.' 'Yay! I'll wait! I want to hear all about their trip!'"


• Schlossstecken, by Pumpkin Panic (part 3): "artistickLicense [AL] began pestering devilsDictionary [DD] at --:--"


• Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 1): "Daria used her new lock and opened the door, then found herself stammering out a, 'uh... Hi!' In front of her was Trent, and since he had just gotten a massive whiff of Daria's perfume, and the luscious vision that was Daria right in his face, he wasn't operating on all cylinders either."


• Something in Common (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "After a moment a figure came around the ventilator shaft she'd been hiding behind and crawled over to the next aperture in the wall. The figure was holding... no freakin' way! He had a rifle!"


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 5): "After Daria clicked the byzantine icon with her face, the required notice popped up in their minds: 'Psychologist General's Warning: Unfiltered dreams can cause serious damage to untrained brains. Please do not confuse with reality, augmented or otherwise.'"


• Soul Reforged (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "Stupid Sandi. The girl thought as she lay on her back. Why does she always pick on me? All I did was comment on how cute those earrings were, why would she say they looked tacky? I hate her so much! Stacy felt her eyes begin to close even as tears flowed down her cheeks. I wish my life could be different."


• Sound and Fury (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Dar-' A loud fart cut off Jake mid-sentence. 'Oh my GOD!' Quinn screamed, hurriedly rolling down a window."


• SS, DD (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Hey, he thought, a chick! Have I gone out with this one yet? He studied her features and attempted to correlate them with his muscle memory. Uhh...no! Wait, what's her name, Ann, Annabelle, Andr-- As if possessed, he experienced a rare moment of sense of self while gazing into her eyes. Oh crap, I'm still on the floor."


• TDJS CH.4 Boston Baby!, by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "Now Jane had seen various pictures of Amy on as many magazines but only now, as she saw her greet the Morgendorffers she realized how much she looked like Dario. Same auburn hair. Same complexion. Very similar features. For a moment Jane wondered if she was Dario's mother instead that Helen." (Part 5)


• Three Guys at a Bar, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Nah, it is that bad. See...I was thinking about this girl I knew. She was free spirited, artistic, funny, sweet. Like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl without the annoying part. I knew she was for me. She was the most different girl I had ever met. She was freedom come to life.'"


• Truth Potion (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Uh Jane?' Daria asked as they approached Chez Pierre. 'Yeah Daria?' 'Why are we here?'"


• Two for One (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the link on which Jane was about to click. 'Why did you bring me to your computer? And why is that webcam pointed at me?'"


• Unexpected Hookup: Relative Madness, by Shiva (part 9): "Before she could ask the obvious question, her mother answered it for her. 'Your cousin will be staying with us for a little while,' Helen said while looking over some papers, 'She, well...' 'I'm getting divorced.' Erin stated simply while sipping her coffee."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "'Is something wrong Mack?' The large African teen nodded, running a hand through his hair. 'Jodie, we need to talk.' Jodie nodded her head, closing her locker and leaning back, a bad feeling sitting in her stomach"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "One day as Daria and Jane were headed back to their quarters they smelled something oddly funky. 'Gotcha!' A pair of strong arms encircled Daria from behind and swung her about. She recognized the voice immediately as Tom's and bit her lips to keep from squealing."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Kevin and Brittany walked forward first, looking generally terrified. But after a moment, Brittany summed up the courage to flash them. Shirley-Phelps Roper screamed, and in her haste to cover the eyes of her children, she dropped her signs and stepped on them with muddy boots."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Everyone in the halls of Lawndale High froze in mid-step as suddenly the janitor's closet, (AKA the makeout room) burst open and Robert stumbled out, wheezing and panting and covering his mouth."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.' Daria said aloud once she and Tom were in their bedroom."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It's a paycheck.' Daria's flat, even statement was a contrast with her father's infuriated expression plastered on his face, which was currently colored an interesting shade of puce."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The tube of tightly rolled paper fell to the ground from a second-floor window at Casa Lane, conveniently in front of the Tank and the three awake members of Mystik Spiral (read: all but Trent). As they looked down at it, they inspected its contents to find a green and leafy mess inside."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The crisp air highlighted the coffin standing above an open grave. Tearfully, Mr. O'Neill stepped up to the dais to eulogize the deceased."


• Upchuck Asks About the Skirt (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh my sweet little flower,' Upchuck said in his usual Upchuckie voice, 'There is a question that burns deep in my soul-'"


• A Vegas Morning... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria had woken up with a killer hangover and was now staring at her ring finger. Which had a gold wedding band on it."

"Dammit! Where does Helen hide the mop?"

Today is National Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day, but it's a little too late for Jake. Considering spilled milk played a significant part in his nearly burning the house down, anyway.

Fandom News!

• The Written Works and Visual Works winners have been announced for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Share your true statements in a new thread.


• Talk about winter storm Nemo and sympathize with those affected by it.


• How would you change television history? Find out more in the thread.


• Do you prefer the Star Wars prequels or originals?


• Talk about The Rest of My Damn Life series in the Golden Oldies forum.

Rowr! Another Caption Contest!

You know what to do. Caption this scene!

No Signal? Now That's Roughing It!

Happy birthday to both Laura Ingalls Wilder and Charles Dickens, born on this day in 1867 and 1812. Both inspired at least one throwaway line in the series each, with Jane's reference to "little hell on the prairie" in "Camp Fear" (a reference to Wilder's Little House on the Prairie series) and Daria's "God bless us, every one" in "Depth Takes a Holiday" (quoted from Dickens's "A Christmas Carol").

Helen is doing her best to emulate a pioneer like in Little House on the Prairie, but I'm sure she's completely lost without her cell phone.

Fanfic Update!

• Barch Nemesis (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The bartender set the glass down in front of Jake, giving the silently-fuming man a sympathetic look before moving on to the next customer, a short brunette with a permanent scowl on her face. She looked familiar, but Jake was too busy struggling with his own demons to pay much attention."


• Barch's Experiment (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria walked into Janet Barch's Science Room. After classes had officially ended. Normally they wouldn't be caught sane doing such a thing. But this wasn't the normal way of doing things."


• Burn, Baby, Burn (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "O'Neill's cass lol umpatentely slummed deir desksss ass dey wained dor deir teacheror."


• A Conversation.... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "O'NEILL: I would like to talk with you about your latest story, Love Gone Wrong. DISAAC: Why? O'NEILL: It kind of disturbing. It has me as a..... DISAAC: A Molester. Yes."


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 3): "Daria then took the podium. In bored tones she began to speak. 'No one can battle a terrible problem like low self-esteem on their own. It takes good coaching...' She stopped for a moment before giving a massive yawn. 'Sorry, I'm not good at faking that I care, or reading out loud meaningless buzzwords to make a certain teacher feel self-important.'"


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (part 5): "There was a teenage girl at the door. She had long red hair - I suspected hair extensions - and was wearing a little pink T-shirt and skinny leg jeans that showed off what she had quite nicely. If your eyes were drawn to boob level - and given the bare-midriff shirt, they soon would be - the shirt had a little logo of a smiley face with a halo. 'Hi!' she chirped. 'I'm selling long distance phone cards!'"


• The Divine Cynic, by PrecambrianStudios (part 3): "Daria inquired, 'So, what weapon do you use? A paintbrush?' Without looking at her, Jane reached into her jacket pocket and procured just that. Daria said, 'Why am I not AH!' The paintbrush suddenly transformed into a scimitar. The blade was several feet long and its razor-sharp point seemed to give off a deadly hum. 'I call it Wit. Because it's so sharp.'"


• Finders Keepers (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "She sat paralyzed in the chair as he limbered toward her, knife in hand."


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Days past and it was not a good time to live in Lawndale. Police had a hard time keeping the criminals under control and Jane was getting angry about how they had yet to do anything, but held her tongue."


• Heroes and Villains Part Two: Queen Sandi, by Reven384 (part 1): "Sandi said, 'Anyone else got any bright ideas. Stay loyal and you'll be kings. Betray me,' she stabbed the corpse with her bone sword a couple more times, 'Well you get the picture. As you can see. I can't die. I'm a goddess. Stick with me and you'll go far.'"


• Life Imitates Art (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman descended into his cheerful chiding of Daria as his appearance at the football game awaited."


• The Line-Up (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Trent set the needle on the record as he popped the DVD into the disc drive. 'So Janey,' he exhaled, 'let me get this straight. If you play Dark Side and The Wizard of Oz at the same time, they line up?'"


• The Lost Girls – Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Val as in 'Val' became a fan of Lawndale"


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 15): "If Daria had thought that her last return to Lawndale High was a March of Triumph, it didn't even compare to coming to school in a shiny red new (looking) red Infiniti with the top down."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Finds a Cure for Da Blues! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Poor Nurse Goodnsexy was in a funk. Oh sure, her work in curing the many ills of the good men of Lawndale (and Oakwood, and Fielding Prep, and a whole bunch of other places) was fun and all but... There was something missing now."



• Rapture (Iron Chef: The Convert), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "In the distance toward the town center she saw what she at first took to be a flock of large birds ascending toward the burgeoning clouds now covering half the sky. She then stood stock still for several minutes blinking rapidly and swallowing hard trying to maintain control of herself. Her knees started to tremble and her breakfast threatened to make a reappearance as she realized exactly what she was looking at."


• Requisite untitled AU Book I: Past, by mac (part 7): "Jake Morgendorffer paced around his living room. He checked his watch. He looked at the stairs to see if his daughter had appeared (she hadn't). He looked out the small window above the front door. He looked at his watch; only thirty seconds had passed since the last time. Stairs; still no Daria. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door. Watch. Stairs. Door."


• Sexy Daria: Sexy Runaway, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Breakfast time in the Morgendorffer house the next morning was a silent affair. That could be chalked up to the fact that Jake Morgendorffer was nursing a major hangover, Quinn didn't feel like talking, and now Daria and Helen were M.I.A."


• The Tomb: An Adventure Story, by peetz5050 (part 1): "After several steps the lodestone shot out to the right. That was the first stone. She stepped forward, the lodestone dropped, forward again, there it was, the second stone, just as Willoughby had promised. The one in between therefore, was the gateway. 'Are you sure about this Daria? The Irish are gonna go ballistic when they find out you're desecrating a national monument.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The burly oxen in the Polk High football uniform looked up from his pizza and glared across the length of several tables as Daria looked up and accidentally made eye contact."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Demon-Something (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman strutted down the hall, the very image of a conceited, absolutely-totally not washed up ex-football star for a moderately successful high school team."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The signal was two knocks and then a rapid knock-knock-knock. Upchuck felt for the door handle, and, noting that the door was unlocked, walked in and quietly closed the door behind him. Daria smirked. Tom tried not to laugh. It only took about twenty seconds. 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the Headmistresses office of Hogwarts, one Daria Percivella Wulfurica Brianna Dumbledore was justifying making Harry Potter's life a living nightmare so he would be in the right state of mind when it came time for him to die for the Wizarding World."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jake watched his little kiddo stumble out of the downstairs bathroom, she was walking a bit bowel-legged, which would have raised warning flags in anyone else."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Can't believe I got forced into this.' Daria griped, striding firmly down Lawndale Junior High's hallways. 'This' happened to be the mentoring program LJH ran."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As Daria read 'The Writer's Guide to Making Your Audience Vomit,' by Stephanie Meyer, Quinn suddenly emerged from the bathroom with a pair of testicles attached to her chin."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "They froze. Daria checked their surroundings. 'Where the hell did THAT come from?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Strapped down to a chair in a darkened room, Kevin screamed as he felt his crotch being gripped by an iron hand."

"What does science know?"

Happy National Weatherperson's Day! I suppose this is the day when forecasters take back the weather business from those pesky groundhogs. Also, Al Roker says there may be a hurricane on the way. Shall we go hang out on the Lawndale High School roof?

Fandom News!

• Who would win in a fight between Mr. DeMartino and Coach Buzzcut? Post your thoughts on the possible outcome!


• Share your favorite Super Bowl commercials.


• Talk about the show Power Rangers Megaforce in a new thread.


• Join in Reese Kaine's new Star Trek Online: Lawndale Fleet activity.


• tagloff posted a challenge to writers: Daria x DC Universe Online.


• Erin M. posts an update to the Judith Saga and looks for suggestions.


• breitasparrow has a question about Rule 34.

Another Year, Another Rodent Weather Prediction!

Well, the groundhog didn't see his shadow yesterday, so that means an early spring this year. Unless it doesn't. Either way, I'm sure Bill Murray was happy to wake up this morning.

Late add: I also just found out that today is Super Bowl Sunday. In the words of Angela Li, "Go, teams, go!"

Fanfic Update!

• The Art of Dollars and Cents (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane?' Daria and Jane stood there with their mouths hung open. 'Mrs. Bennett?'"


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The five minute break somehow extended into fifteen minutes since it took a while to recover from that atrocity. It didn't help that there was more to come."


• Daria Dance Party – Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane, Daria Morgendorffer, Jodie Landon and 212 others are attending the event Jackson Pollock Memorial Dance. Sandi Griffin, Stacy Rowe, Tiffany Blum-Deckler and 10 others are attending the event Party at Sandi’s House."


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (part 4): "I was talking to Ruth while we were driving on the way to La Botana, one of our favorite restaurants. 'Have you heard of Manatee College?' I asked her."


• Daria's World, by baelparagon (part 2): "'I mean, you're not popular, but you're not too unpopular to go to my party this Friday.' Daria was surprised at this, although not in a bad way. 'Are you inviting me to your party on Friday?'"


• Falling Free (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Blackout worked to bring equality to the people, to let them work according to ability, to move and to marry who they wanted, to bring medicine and education that the people deserved. The Protectorate called them terrorists and enemies of freedom. Rachel Landon knew differently and she had the courage of convictions and the surety of her devotion to Blackout."


• Familiar Strangers (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "When she stumbled, moaning, from the stall, Daria took a wrong turn and pushed out through the fire door at the back of the restroom. And emerged into almost total darkness."



• Happiness, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Benedika hadn't had a very pleasant childhood, then again not many fat girls ever did."


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (part 5): "Jane looked at the TV and noticed Daria had walked down the stairs, 'It seems that Tiffany has had a bad reaction to being a pshycic. The Sloane organization has a lot to answer for,' Daria said. 'I’m going,' Jane said quietly."


• The Ice Queen, by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "Jane looked at the address on the cabin, then back down on the paper shaking in her hand. Her vision blurred as she thought back to the last time she and Daria spoke. Jane, you've been quiet all morning - what's going on? I kissed your boyfriend. I kissed Tom."


• Jefferson’s Interest (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'There’s something I need to tell you.' 'What is it?' Joey asked. 'It has taken me a while to realize this, but I don’t want to go out with Quinn anymore.'"


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "The three kids appeared at the top of the pile of jelly beans. However their position was unstable. They quickly fell over and began sliding down the pile towards Louisa and her house. Whilst she was slipping, Stephanie had lost her grip of the emerald, which fell down the opposite side..."


• Love Gone Wrong (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by DIsaac (parts 1 and 2): "(LAWNDALE) The small sleepy community of Lawndale is in shock after one of their teachers at the town's high school was arrested yesterday." (Part 2)


• Non-Daria Script-Writing Practice, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Man 1 (the Middle-Eastern guy): You sure it’ll be safe? Man 2: Can’t be worse than Leland. Booksin Elementary would have been a really poor spot to defend. Too many openings and chain-link fences. So there’ll be probably be few walkers, if any."


• Ocean City (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Listen Mack Daddy, I need you to do me a favor. Brittany's going to this party tonight, right? Well you know what those guys are like right? Real horndogs. So... would you do me a favor and keep an eye on her, maybe dance with her even? She gets lonely without me.'"


• Penis Snakes in a Classroom (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Janet Barch unleashed her hatred of all things male on her science class, as usual, one Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie had the air of a man that was waiting for something."



• Requisite untitled AU, by mac (part 6): "Jake began to nod, then stopped. Although culinary school had kept him away from home more than he wanted this past year, he did his best to keep up with his daughter's small circle of friends, including Jane Lane. He thought back to everything Daria had ever told him about Jane, even accessing memories from as far back as the previous school year."


• She Rule 63'd Me With Science (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "In front of the girls of Lawndale stood one Janet Barch. The science teacher was normally a tense, screechy woman, but today she looked like the proverbial cat that ate the cream. 'I'm glad you are all here today,' she started, speaking at the podium on-stage, 'Because you ladies are about see something truly historic and ground-breaking.'"


• Tasty (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Tears flowed from Tom's eyes as he continued to chop. This was the part he dreaded most of all."


• TDJS CH.4 Boston Baby!, by ST91 (part 3): "Along the way he found himself passing beside the Zon; despite being in the car he heard the music that played inside and was hit by a bout of nostalgia. Trent parked but didn’t get out of the car. What do I do? Should I go in ? he asked himself."


• That Night at Napa Valley (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "The worst part, I hate to drink alone, it makes me feel like my mother. But hey, not like I had a choice. So that's why I was pleasantly surprised to see the young man with something familiar about him walk into the bar."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Trent stepped out of the room and walked down the hall - where a red-headed forty-something woman seemed to be waiting for her. 'Very nice work. Shame that you couldn't take a few minutes to... enjoy... the German-American cuisine laid out for you in there.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Sitting on the living room couch watching TV, Trent, with trembling fingers, withdrew a small box from his pocket and offered it to his sister, sitting next to him and looking as bored as could be. 'M-mary.......jane?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the center of what used to be a sitting room in Sloane Manor, Tom Sloane was enjoying the afterglow as he got more comfortable on one of the mattresses in the room."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It had been one of those weeks. Three pop quizzes, a test, Ms. Li having a third of the faculty arrested on false charges using shoddy circumstantial evidence, and the multiverse had temporarily thrown them into yet another bizzare crossover scenario."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked ahead at the man standing in front of her. As he spoke, his mouth seemed a separate entity from the rest of him, up to and including his wardrobe, hat, sunglasses, hell, even his face."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Daria started to reply, then stopped. 'I'm confused,' she finally admitted. 'What are we fighting about here?' Jane smiled as she said, 'Ah, Daria, this isn’t a fight.' Reaching out, she grabbed the lapels of her friend’s jacket and yanked her until they were nose-to-nose. 'This is a fight!' she growled."


• Unusual Foodie Delights (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked sick to her stomach as she witnessed what Daria and Jane were doing with that weird food they were eating."


• A Very Guilty Pleasure (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked both ways before opening the freezer door. Not that she expected anyone to be watching, but one could never be sure."

This Month is For the Birds!

Today is the start of National Bird-Feeding Month, and Helen is on the case. I guess frozen lasagna doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

Fandom News!

• Are you a Kindle (or similar reader) addict? Talk about it in the thread!


• MartinUK started a thread for posts that start, "I like my car, but..."


• welltemperedclavier wonders, where are they now? Share your thoughts on if and how Daria characters would use Facebook.


• Share your commiserations or vent your anger at Cartoon Network cancelling Young Justice and Green Lantern: TAS.


• DocForbin shares a rather interesting short animated film.


• peapotmaster suggests a Snickers commercial that has to happen.

All Hail The Ruttheimer Group!

Happy National Inane Answering Message Day! Upchuck has taken the opportunity to use the following (as quoted from The Daria Diaries):

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

Hey, I think there's fanfic potential in that last one. What kept Upchuck from achieving world domination three years ago? Was his plan foiled, or only delayed? Fandom must know.

Fanfic Update!

• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 2): "Daria froze for a second before shaking her head and muttering, 'What's wrong with me?' 'You live in Lawndale.' was Josh's only reply."


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 11): "John Hobbs smiled at his girlfriend and asked, 'What's the matter, hon? You look like you've seen a ghost.' 'I just thought of a bad dream I had not too long ago,' she said and relaxed. Dammit, I cannot get used to what that genie can do!" (SFMB)


• Bursting One's Bubbles (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn,' said Daria, 'remember how you said that looking at me all day made you immune to all crimes against fashion?'"


• Call of the Wild (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane slowly advanced towards their prey. Jane adjusted her pith helmet and Daria reached for her pistol. 'Do you smell that?' Daria said. 'Oh yeah,' Jane said. 'Spoor.'"


• A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (part 4): "Daria said, 'I agree that it is the sound I heard, but I'm still having a hard time accepting that story you told me.' 'Then don't accept it,' Dorothy said, with an impish smile. 'Come with us and see. Who knows, it might actually be fun.'"



• Daria Morgendorffer-Morningstar: The Daughter of Satan Meets the Messiah (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been a rough week for poor old Daria Morgendorffer, fifteen years old and freshly moved from Texas to the East Coast. Not to mention that her father had died of a heart attack a day before they had left since their mother had been forced to confess to having had an affair with Satan himself."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 17c): "At the head table, Dylan and Lurleen worked their way through the meal in silence. Eventually Lurleen said, 'You didn't want me to fill up time with pointless chit-chat, did you?' 'Nope.'"


• From A Certain Point Of View (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck grasped the Monkey's Paw and said 'I want to have incredible, mind-blowing, brain-melting sex on demand, whenever I want, for the rest of my life!'"


• Genies are Jerks (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Before the Genie stood three people who had just found his rubbed his lamp in the course of fighting over it. Now the thing is he was really enjoying chilling in his bottle which was actually a huge extra dimensional house and part of an even larger extradimensional gated community where all the genies of the multiverse lived. Now he was moments from scoring with his hot Genie girlfriend when he was called so he was especially irked."


• How The Past Relates to the Present, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane was curious as to why Daria had insisted that they go to the school's library instead of the roof to have their lunch."


• Iran So Far Away, by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "From inside, he could see her at her desk, the soft white light from her lamp bouncing off her brown hair and highlighting the angular curve of her jaw. She was tearing through a dense pile of papers, indiscriminately applying a blood red rubber stamp to each. Identity POSitive, he thought to himself."


• A New Beginning, by LadieTAG (part 8): "Amy hung up the phone and soon the tears started to flow. Memories of the phone call almost eight years ago began replaying through her mind."


• The Night Helen Saved Christmas, by Aloysius (part 5): "'You're saying that I'm more than just a pretty face,' she responded. 'Yes! That's it! Helen, I could easily picture being in a relationship with you.'"


• Ocean City (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Hi Mack!' 'Brittany, lookin' good. Did ya have a good night last night?' 'What have you heard? Listen just because Kevvie's in the hospital doesn't mean that I was fooling around, whoever told you...'"


• Requisite untitled AU, by mac (parts 1 - 5): "'Kiddo, I know it will be hard without - ' 'It's okay, Dad.' Her soft voice expressed almost no emotion. Only someone who knew Daria well would be able to detect the faint hint of anxiety, matched by resolve. 'It's better this way. The fighting was getting too much to handle. For all of us.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• The Ride Before the Show (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In a white stretch limo, Daria sat with Jane and Quinn, all of them in expensive fashionable clothes from stores like Christian Dior, Prada, and Versace."


• Schlossstecken, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 and 2): "A young lady stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that due to an unfortunate grounding involving a curfew infraction and a few offhand comments pertaining to the jurisdiction of the household she is confined to the house but thankfully internet privileges have yet to be revoked, for now." (Part 2)



• The Three J's Get a Dog (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'That Daria girl is cool.' Jamie said to the other two J's as they left the Morgendorffers."


• To Be Queen (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer looked at the shriveled up monkey's paw in her hand. She wondered if the stories were true. Well it couldn't hurt to try it out, but what could she wish for?"


• Unnamed story (Daria Meets YOU), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Why?' Daria pleaded with her best friend of many years as she sat listlessly in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around her wrists. 'Why won't you tell me why you did that?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Ms. Landon,' demanded Ms. Li, 'please tell Ms. Morgendorffer why promising an anarcho-communist student government is against school policy!'"


• What's in a Name? (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck took another look at the house number. 1111 Glen Oaks Lane. It was right, but it couldn't be...this was her house. The note he had received entailed a 'surprise' of some sort. Unless..."

Dancing the Night Away with Jackson Pollock

Happy birthday to the late artist Jackson Pollock, born on this day in 1912. Pollock was featured on Daria as the inspiration for Jane's party decorations in "Daria Dance Party." It was edgy, in a dark and disturbing kind of way. Just like Jane herself.

Fandom News!

• You only have two days left to vote in the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! Get those votes in if you haven't already!


• Share your best wishes for those affected by flooding in Queensland.


• drocem shares the background lyrics to "Turn Down the Sun," the song used in Is It Fall Yet?


• Who are your personal scrappies? ThanatosRW invites you to discuss what fictional characters are irredeemable in your eyes.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Reven384's Monkey's Paw and welltemperedclavier's The Convert.


• SinisterExaggerator posted an art Iron Chef in The Easel: ASCII Art Daria.

Vegemite, Anyone?

G'day, blog readers! Today is Australia Day, a day in which we all reflect on how everything in Australia can kill you. Or something like that.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 11): "We stare at each other, me lying on the floor and him leaning against a low bookcase, neither of us make any attempt to move as I try to work out what’s going on in his head. Maybe he’s trying to work out what’s going on in mine."


• Chapter 5 (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "NOTE: screw you all homophones! Trent is now gay except for when he’s kissing Daria, otherwise he dates {insert “goth” band leader person???}. And Dair’a true love I Michael he hot bi boyfriend who isn’t in this chapter - he is not a sue jerk prep trolls!!!"


• Cinema Verite (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck didn't understand, so O'Neill continued. 'A fifteen second loop of Tiffany Blum-Deckler applying mascara, repeated over and over for an hour is not a movie.' 'Mr. O'Neill...that's not a loop repeated over and over.'"


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (parts 1 - 3): "To be blunt, I never liked the inhabitants of Lawndale that much. It was a white-bread middle class community. If some sort of Marxist wanted to condemn the petty-mindedness of the bourgeoisie she couldn't have chosen a better example than Lawndale." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Daria's Voyager (Ep 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "In her Ready Room, Captain Morgendorffer was talking to her fiancé over subspace. 'The doctor called.' 'And?' 'I was right.'"


• DW: The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "'SGC, do you read?' Mitchell asked. 'We read you, Colonel,' Landry said. 'We’re going to bring the TARDIS back through the gate. Be prepared for possible high speed impact, sir.'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 17b): "The awkwardness was broken up by Kris’s interruption to draw attention to a rusty old junker pulling up. 'He doesn't care how he looks.' As the driver emerged, Dylan said, 'Uncle Andy?'"


• The Execution (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "'And what would be the purpose of this little midnight stroll?' asked Daria as she folded her arms. The knight smiled without mirth and backhanded her with his gauntlet backed hands. He motioned to his followers, and two of them roughly grabbed the stunned woman and half walked, half dragged her, to the cathedral."



• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (part 5): "Jane walked home thinking about all that had happened. She was worried about Daria. The girl had basically lost her entire family in one night. Daria was holding it together, but she knew her friend was repressing real bad and once the dam bust some needed to be there."


• Jodie and the Hot Tub (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hmmm...' Jodie moaned as she slid into the bubbling hot tub, her nude form relishing the frothing liquid, 'This is what I needed.'" (Continued by Silver)


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 11.3): "Jake awoke in a hospital in Oakwood two days after the accident, thirsty and hurting from a dozen different places we hadn’t remembered they existed since the hellish years of military school."


• Mrs. Johanssen's New Look... (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was supposed to be a relaxing night out for the Cynical Duo, Daria and Jane."


• A Need to Check (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Simple. I have a nifty little maxim. Freshman year: setting the bar. Sophomore year: still setting the bar.' With each tier of the academic system being namedropped, she extended her hands further. 'Junior year: maintaining the bar. Senior year...' and here she clapped her hands together with a thunderous force, 'YOLO.'"


• Tiffanyzilla (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane watch the news, regular not Sick Sad, and it's very watchable since it was a live feed of a 65 and a half foot tall Tiffany Blum-Deckler rampaging through downtown Tokyo, shooting fireballs out of her mouth, and destroying buildings with flicks of her hands."


• A Universal History of Annoyance: The Twice-Unmarried Empress, Theodora (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "The woman of whom I now write is a different Theodora, born into the purple as the youngest daughter of Constantine VIII. Little is written of this Theodora’s earliest days, the historians seeing only her father’s endless furies, a man forever shadowed by emperors greater than he." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Sheldon Quotation Theorem), by Staren (COMPLETE!): "Ted walked up while Daria was in the middle of sorting out economics worksheets when he came up, so she could be forgiven for the spectacular mass of papers that found there way on the floor when she processed what he asked."



• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Demon-Something (COMPLETE!): "An abrupt ring of a cheap cell-phone jolted Daria Morgendorffer from a nice enough sleep. She let out a groan and threw the sheets back and reached onto the bedside table to her right. Daria picked up the phone with a sigh, despite the clock reading 2:13 in the morning. 'Heeeeeeey, amiga,' Jane slurred into the phone, tipsy off something Daria couldn't immediately recognize, 'I totally wanted to talk about sum'thin, y'know?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Hi, mi name is Duharea Mizeree Meluncoliee Morjanduffer. I have kewl red hur tht gos 2 mi shouldrs and brwn eyes lyk choculat."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by percussivemaintenance (COMPLETE!): "Once there was a girl name daria morningsnorer she was cool an sarcasm! she had brownish red hare that was kol and kol bangs and glass her glassare hot and round!"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "daria went and made a spell that gave all the other peeples at hugwars ice cream and they all said yay and they ate the ice cream but then a gigantic spaceship flew out of nowhere and it was anakin skywalker wos culer than luke and he said the darak side is here i must destroy it and hten he want and killed snape becayse he was bads."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "i fel uhslip n i woak up n i foun miself in lawndael n i tuk a luk at miself n i realeyesed "wholey crap (shit iz a no-no wrd), i cartoon;'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "COMMON SENSE COMES AT YOU REALLY FAST! (Daria is walking home, and as she approaches her house, she sees Tom parked in front, At that very moment A Driver pulls before she gets to Tom) THE DRIVER: (in a New Hyundai) Get in."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by mac (COMPLETE!): "Yes, thought Daria, compared to everyone else I've met at Lawndale so far, Jane seems like the best choice for an acquaintance, if not a friend."



• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Hey,' Jane said to her brother as she walked into the living room. Trent was staring wide-eyed at the TV. 'Trent? You okay? Did one of those spinning circles come on?' 'No, Janie. I just saw Reefer Madness. Man, weed can really mess you up.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Walking into the backyard to find a nice, cool spot to read, Daria saw Quinn crouching next to a pipe with a tin cup and a shovel. She had obviously been digging a hole. What the cup was for, Daria couldn't determine."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck noticed someone behind him. It was Daria. 'Ahhhh!!' he cried when he noticed her. 'OhGodOhGod pleasedonthurtmeI'msorry!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Dar-eeee-uhhhhh! Time to wake up....' Daria tried to do that. Her eyes slowly opened to an industrial hell. She tried to push herself upright, but couldn't move her arms. Her eyes shot down, widening at the sight of the straitjacket."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane sat on Jane's bed, watching TV and eating junk food as on any other day. Trent wandered in, reached down and snagged a cookie from an open pack. He took a bite and grimaced at the flavor."


• We All Scream (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Kevin, there is no way this can possibly work out in our favor.' 'C'mon, Mack Daddy! You said that if we wanted to edge out the competition, we had to be individidual or something like that.'"


• The World is Yours (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Jane,' asked Daria, 'did you ever get the feeling you were being watched?'"

Has Peanut Butter Hijacked Your Brain?

Happy National Peanut Butter Day! While Daria and Jane decide how best to dispose of that antique peanut butter sandwich, Jake will delight us all with his special Thai peanut sauce...oh, never mind. The squirrels got him.

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild is seeking advice on the Contrarian's Corner/the-wildone.com.


• Remember to vote for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! See the lists of nominations in the thread.


• LadieTAG and TAG want to visit other people in fandom. Tell them why they should come see you!


• Own a part of Trent Lane! Find out how (and it's probably not what you think) in the thread.


• J-D is wondering what you would think about this scenario.


• Share your favorite WTF moments in kids' cartoon series.


• percussivemaintenance posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: You're Standing on My Immortal.