"Don't you want to shoot me?"

Happy Camera Day! Quinn probably loves this holiday, while Daria is less enthusiastic. Jane most likely is fine with it as long as she's the one taking the pictures.

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of "Gifted" in 1998. We may never know if Daria was serious about poisoning the sloppy joe mix, but both Ajar's "Regifted" and Charles RB's "Grove Hell on Earth" show us what might have happened if she'd attended Grove Hills.

Fandom News!

• What did you dislike about Final Fantasy 7?


• RLobinske shares an article about a stellar eruption.


• Batman hates people on welfare! Find out more in the thread.


• Fans of The Newsroom can talk about the show in a new thread.


• What do you think about the upcoming remake of Total Recall?


• Discuss and share fanfic tips in a Creative Writing thread.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Fhujeth_x's How did Daria end up in Hot Topic's Torture Room?, Shiva's Daria Vitale, and JPAGC's The Peace Pact.

Jake is Not Amused, Either

Today is the anniversary of Queen Victoria's coronation in 1838. Jake's doing his best, but I'm sure I've seen better impersonations of the monarch.

More recently, today is also the 12th anniversary of the episode "Psycho Therapy," which was great just for the role-playing sequence alone. And who could forget Tom's fifteen minutes of fame as a butt wiggler? (In fairness, it was easier on the eyes than O'Neill's ever was.)

Fanfic Update!

• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 12), by oni (part 1): "The days flew off the calendar and before long it was Thanksgiving. It was morning time at the Griffin household and Sandi was helping her mother prepare food, since she didn’t need the crutches anymore. Things may have changed for the better between her mom and her, but Linda’s temper went off for other reasons now..."


• Careful What You Wish For (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria placed the phone in the cradle and slowly pulled her hand back. She stared at the construct of plastic and metal for a moment, then swung her legs up onto her bed and flopped back against the pillow. Her eyes strayed to the crack in the ceiling, the stories she and Jane would fabricate to go with the changing shapes in the plaster. But she had not seen Jane outside of school for weeks."


• Daria Blade: Book One, by peapotmaster (part 1): "'You’re going to pay for what you and your goons did to my family, you son of a bitch,' Daria got up, as she rose using her sword. She had a glare at Axel, as she roared at him, charging at him at full speed."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Starfire: Friend Raven, this is a mistake. You cannot do this! Raven: (ashamed of herself) We don’t have any other choice. Starfire: There is always choice! The Titans were formed to fight people like Mr. Cashman! He stole Miley Cyprus’ money!"


• Family New, by RLobinske (part 6): "Mr. Vitale said, 'However, she never settled on guardian for the children. This is a little awkward, but she was uncomfortable with recommending either you two or Jake's sister. Helen had contacted a couple called the Yeagers, but they never gave a clear answer.' Rita and Amy looked at each other for several moments. Amy then said, 'I suppose we deserved that.'"


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 7): "'Hey, uncle G!...' greeted Trent '... good morning. Why are you carrying your special occasion artillery?' He stepped into the room, crossing his arms, putting the huge gun in the notch of the left one, as if he was holding a newborn baby. 'Well... there are some annoying little pests in the house. I wanted to set some traps, but I changed my mind... we didn't have a little family hunt in ages, so we're gonna eradicate them in the old fashioned way... nothing's better than some indoor sport and family bonding.' he loudly exclaimed, grinning."


• Full of Esteem (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Timothy O'Neill cackled with glee at the heavily pregnant figures strapped to their pretty lacy pink beds, reminding himself once more that he was doing the right thing by holding all of them against their will."



• Getting to be One with Nature (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "As Jane vomit the contents of last night'd dinner due the site that was before them. Her friend , Daria just mumbled to her self 'I know I can't unseen this but dammit I really do. Where the hell is Ms. Li when you need her?'"


• The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 4): "I walked over to the table and sat down. 'Where’s mom?' 'She’s on the phone with Stacy’s mother.' Dad said as he folded his paper and set it down. He lowered his voice. 'Hear she didn’t take it too well when she found out.' 'No. She didn’t.' I told him. 'I could have sworn for a moment, that mom wanted to hit her.'"


• Improbability (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'THE GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US!' Angela Li screamed into the PA system as pandemonium consumed Lawndale High."


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (part 4): "'Well... at least I can discuss discussing the... issue... if that makes any sense. I know what happened to me, I remember it... but... I don't dwell on it. When I let it I see... faces... and feel...' Her breathing was becoming labored and she was tensing up as she spoke, her knuckles whitening on her clenched fists."


• Misery Chick No More (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria was frozen in sheer horror at what stood on her doorstep, spinkles of soil fell off the slightly decomposed figure as he stared at her with his dead and yet horribly animated eyes."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 19): "About the only things that gave the room the feeling of being lived in rather than holding someone there were the different posters pinned to the walls, even if they were as morbid as the rest of the room, with ‘Kafka’s Metamorphosis’ sharing a wall with an old poster of a half dug skeleton from an archaeological site; incongruously there was a white sock incongruently sewed to the wall. The models of a realistic human heart and a piece of cheese from all the possible things completed the look."


• Quinn and Her Little Brother (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Quinn glared at the sleeping infant in it's cradle, the mere existence of a baby brother was enough to make the world seem like a cruel, dark place."


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "And now that she had spotted him by himself in the hallway, it was moment of truth time. Once she had caught his eye, his gorgeous sapphire blue eyes, all those rehearsed lines flew out the window and she was forced to improvise. 'Uh... Hi Ronnie.' Scarlett said lamely, it was the best she could do with short notice."



• Toilet Humor (IC: Hell is Crossed People), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "It was hard for her to breathe. Admittedly, she had always thought before that Highland was a living Hell, but now...Now she realized what Hell truly was. Daria sat back down on the floor. Of all the places there was for her to die, it was going to be in the bathroom in the teachers' lounge. And of all the ways to die, it would be at the hand of those monsters. Why didn't she just give up and die while she had the chance?"


• Unnamed story (IC: How did Daria end up in Hot Topic's Torture Room?), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked suspiciously at the outfit that Trent was holding in his hands. 'You want me to try that on?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked over at Quinn. 'Now let me get this straight, you were walking home from the mall when he offered you a ride home?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was 11:30 pm, and Daria was finally finished with her history paper on the Constitution. With that out of the way, she could turn to her secret passion - RPF, or 'real person fiction'."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Charles turned to the waiting crowd, grinning. 'What lucky lady is next in line for Monsieur Charles and his Magic Fingers?'"

"So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable fortitude."

Happy anniversary to Helen and Jake Morgendorffer, who were married on this day in 1975. Check out their Commitment Vows! They've, uh, changed a bit since then. I just hope Jake got Helen a better present than a disfigured Hobbit this year.

If you haven't already done so, I highly recommend you read Mike Yamiolkoski's fanfic Committed. If you have already read it, then read it again. It's that good.

Fandom News!

• CR85747 would like to discuss Daria and Philosophy.


• Who would win in a fight between J. R. Ewing and Alexis Carrington-Colby?


• Talk about Euro 2012 in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Greystar ponders the ends of the worlds as we know them.


• Post your thoughts on The Lawndale Tango in a new Golden Oldies thread.

Children and Dystopia--What a Great Combination!

Happy birthday to the late author George Orwell, born on this day in 1903! Among his better-known works are Animal Farm and 1984, both of which were referenced in different episodes of Daria. Daria was seen reading Animal Farm on her way to Camp Grizzly in the episode "Camp Fear," and she commented, "Gee, look at the time. 1984 already," in "Psycho Therapy."

Speaking of Young Daria, today is also the 11th anniversary of the original airing of "Boxing Daria," in which we get an enlightening view of Daria's childhood. I, for one, will never see a refrigerator box in quite the same way again.

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 2: The 8th Circuit, by RX-87 (part 4): "NICK: Is there a point to all this or did you just come to chew us out? TRENT: Yeah. We don't need to get bitched at just 'cause something didn't go our way. The important thing is what we're gonna do next. Where do we stand with our orders? WIND: Fine. You're to stay in the colony until further notice."


• Blessings of the Moon -- Chapter 8, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Looking away the older Rowe grimaced, 'Right... and I know that's what my parents are thinking, so we have to save her before they decide to do what their instincts tell them... come on, we'll head over to my mom's friend's house and see if she has any information about how to help Stacy!'"


• Compagnons (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what are you going to do with all that bribe money Compagnon?' Jodie asked while she walked the halls of Lawndale with her best friend, Quinn Morgendorffer. Quinn glanced at Jodie in her usual attire of a green coat, an orange top underneath, black jeans and leggings, boots, and her three silver earrings in each ear, and replied in her usual monotone, 'Well I was planning on buying a couple new guitars.'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Hieronymus Q. Cashman: I would be remiss should I not know the activities of my own employees. Raven: Then you should have known that a good many of them would be murdered. Hieronymus Q. Cashman: Your belief in my omniscience is flattering. Raven: God damn it, this is life and death!"


• Daria's Stash, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town...' Jake looked in the rear-view mirror at his eldest daughter sitting in the backseat, and winced. 'Especially for you, Daria, right?' 'Hah,' Daria scoffed. 'I find it easy to make friends. I can't help it if they don't make friends with...all of me.'"


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 6): "'I’m going to do it tonight,' Rex said very flatly, 'I’m going to tell them and then... I’ll probably need a place to crash.' 'Ok, I think Rex just used up the bombshell quota for the day.' was Josh’s first rational thought on the matter. Out loud however he managed to say something more relevant. 'Wow... You sure man?'"


• God Save the Esteem 42: Combat Rock, by Charles RB (part 4): "Tom had been in the garage when he got the text, but he didn’t understand why. Not until a minute later, when he walked out and saw the police breaking into his house. Very quietly, Tom went back into the garage and into his Bentley, and drove out very fast. They’re really hardline about torrenting, he thought, scared."


• The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (parts 1 - 3): "'When will she be back?' asked Stacy. 'Don’t know. She went to the mall with her mother.' I said. 'Oh. Okay.' Said Stacy. She hung her head down, and turned away. 'I guess I will find someone else to talk to.' I was just about to shut the door when I heard what she said, and saw the tear hit the concrete. Damn it. 'Stacy? Are you okay?'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (part 3): "'And why did you kind of get sent home, may I ask?' 'Well I...please stay calm Dad she totally deserved it after what she said.' 'Who and what?' Jane asked, curious. 'Sandi.' Quinn shrugged. 'Aaannd?' 'Well I may have broken her nose... a bit.'"


• Mirror, Mirror (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "She started to push back from the table and was on the point of running out of the room when the... the... the... vortex expanded impossibly out of the mirror and filled the whole wall of her room. Daria stared at it wild-eyed for a second before gravity flipped through ninety degrees and she fell into what was now a gaping abyss."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 18): "The only things that she found other than clothes, fashion magazines and a couple of agendas so full that each one only had half of the alphabet, was a laptop computer and this time she didn’t even checked it, she just took it and its carrycase, this was a both a source of information and a tool, and right now both were equally important to her. The only other thing she found was an old photo hidden in the bottom of the drawer where the girl was nine or ten years old and she was hugging a slightly older and clearly annoyed girl with glasses. "


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, The Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "'Now. I'll give you a deal...' Daria began. Brittany interupted. 'What sort of deal?' Daria shot back. '...You give me the mouse back, and you can have Kevin back.' She paused. 'If we go to your house now.' 'Upchuck might be there!' 'That would be the least of your worries,' Daria said as she gave a disconcerting smile."


• Revenge Fantasies, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Fear shot through Daria and she tried to hide her papers, but too late – Sandy had grabbed them away. Her friends tittered at it, all bar Kimberly, who gently said 'now come on, Sans, leave her alone' but nothing beyond that. She never did anything beyond that."


• A Talk with Myself (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "She looked up, then stopped in her tracks. 'No way,' she said in a voice just above a whisper. 'Yes, way,' her own voice, coming from her own face, replied. 'If you want to hear the story, let's start running.' Jane shrugged her shoulders and followed herself."


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (part 7): "Ronnie grumbled while getting up to get the door while Daria tried to crawl into herself to hide from the embarrassment. Once he opened it, Pia couldn’t resist teasing them a bit before adding, 'Oh Mom and Dad want you down for dinner in five, and since I accidently told them Daria was here, she’s invited too.' Then with an even bigger grin at her brother’s impotent anger at the situation, Pia strolled away."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Could Be - The Non-Daria Edition), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "There were the usual checks in place to keep the human race from overrunning the solar system like a hoard of ants. Disease was obviously one of them, the more that science seemed to defeat, the more new strains seemed to pop up. War and violence were present as well. Humanity just couldn’t seem to outgrow them. But, finally two things happened that changed the prospects of the human race."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 5): "'Your father will fix everything.' Ashley said with a smile. Brittany smiled too. 'You're right. He said he would sent her away ... and he always keeps his promises.' 'That's right sweetie, so what do you want to do? A little shopping?' 'No. I don't want to buy anything. I want to shoot.'"

Tickled Pink...or Not

Happy National Pink Day! Look, even Daria's getting into it. Or she is until the alien neck implant stops working. This is probably Quinn's favorite holiday of all time, but Jane's probably having recurring nightmares about that pink taffeta dress again.

In non-pink news, today is also the anniversary of the original airing of the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Babes 'R' Us" in 1993. In it, Daria gets to witness the boys mud wrestling. And wishes she hadn't.

Fandom News!

• Charles RB shares 21 Photos To Restore Faith In Humanity.


• breitasparrow is asking for help from anyone in Alabama or Mississippi.


• Fellow Daria fan Chris Tucker has sadly passed away. Post your thoughts and memories in the thread.


• Add to the lists of Things That Make One Undatable or Things That Make One Datable.


• Daria is returning to MTV! Discuss it on the SFMB as well as on the PPMB.


• Shiva posted two new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Kevin without his Dad and Pregnant Stacy.

Tutors Just Wanna Have Fun!

Happy birthday to both Carson Daly and Cyndi Lauper, born on this day in 1973 and 1953. Both have their connections to fandom, too: Carson Daly voiced the long-suffering tutor David Sorenson in Is It Fall Yet? while Cyndi Lauper's hit "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was given an entirely new meaning thanks to Metal Mouth in the episode "Legends of the Mall."

Today is also National Chocolate Eclair Day, which I figure is important enough to mention just because it's chocolate eclairs, people. Still, if you really need to connect it to fandom, how about The Angst Guy's fanfic "Feeding Frenzy"? Enjoy!

Fanfic Update!

• All Is Well That Ends... Alright? (IC: Jake without Mad Dog), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Jake, you’re getting home later than you usually are.' 'I was talking to my lawyer...'"


• Anthony, Sometimes (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Hello Anthony.' My heart nearly stops when I see a man who looks like me sat on my couch. He doesn't just look like me, he is me. Me in a well cut black suit and a blood red tie."


• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 8): "'Lions...tigers...bears. Oh my. Thinking about what you want?' 'Sort of,' I admitted. I glanced back a seat, where Jodie was talking with Quinn about fashion just to keep her calm. 'This is so weird, isn’t it? I keep trying to decide what animal I want to turn into, then stop and realize what the hell, I’m trying to decide what animal I want to turn into?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 11), by oni (COMPLETE!): "As Linda came up to them, one of the officers asked, 'And you are?' 'Linda Griffin,' she replied. Brooke’s parents looked over recognizing her but didn’t say anything. Between what happened in the yard within the last five minutes and what happened with the attack on Sandi’s daughter a couple of days ago, no words could make up for their daughter’s actions."


• Blissful Sleep (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Angier,' Kay Sloane called out as she entered the darkened bedroom, 'The DNA test came back and it turns out that Tom... is... your... son...' she trailed off after she found the light switch and then everything shut down at the horrific sight before her." (Part 2)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 43): "'So far, you’ve received a ton of compliments.' Said Tilly. 'Why not dress up a little?' 'Because this isn’t me.' Said Daria. 'I just felt like a change for today.' She looked down at herself, and then turned to Jane. 'Did you even know I had boobs?' Jane about choked on her pizza. 'What?'"


• Daria M meet Daria H, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "The short haired Daria shook her head with sadly. 'Don’t talk like that. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you only get so much time, and it could be gone before you know it. Don’t let anything get between you and your family or the people you love.'"


• The Dark Obsession of Stacy Rowe (IC: Pregnant Stacy), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Quinn huddled near Daria in the corner of Daria’s room trying her best to treat the wound and replace the bandages. Her eyes drifted over to her mother’s foul decaying corpse. After three weeks she still felt sick looking at it."


• End Of A Line, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): "Doug Thompson poured himself another glass of whiskey. He had been drinking since he woke up, but felt that more was needed. More drink to make him more courageous. He had been thinking about life. His life and his sons’..."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 5): "Jeffy Grey practically drank the images that his eyes were pouring into his brain of the guy that Monique had introduced him too. He was wearing a leather vest with no shirt, rock hard muscles, long flowing brown hair, soft dopey brown eyes, tanned skin, leather pants, black boots, and he had the slight, oddly alluring smell of motor oil and pot."


• Everybody's Got A Price (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett reached into her pocket and pulled out a crisp $20 bill. 'Please wash your hands a couple of times before you consider taking it.' Stacy wiped her hands on a paper towel and put her still oily hand onto her chin, leaving yet another streak of grease on her chin. 'I've never turned down free money before. What have you got in mind, toots?'"


• A Fully Unauthorized Sequel to "Jane Unchained", by Ranger Thorne (part 1): "Jane leaped to her feet and stood on the mattress. Her breath was ragged as she looked around the room. As she stumbled around and tried not to trip over the covers, she heard a small whimper. It took a second to realize that she had been the one to make it. 'Feel no trepidation, Jane. For it is just your friend once again.' The voice was small, but sounded like . . . Daria?"


• Inverted (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "With the parents gone, Daria Morgendorffer, the most popular and pretty girl in school had thrown together a pretty impressive party, anyone who was anyone at Lawndale High was there, couples were making out, the booze was flowing, the music was booming, and at the center of it all was Daria, the Queen Bee of Lawndale, surrounded by her popular friends."


• It Is Not Incest (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Dario can you explain me why are we naked and in my bed ?' asked Daria to her male counterpart, which had come out from the wardrobe the evening before."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part 5: The Gauntlet, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn stood in the cage barely able to contain her excitement. She could feel her magic just itching to escape as her opponent stepped into the cage. He was a skinny man, but that didn’t mean a whole lot in the world of magic. After all she was a pretty teenage girl and one of the most fierce fighters in the arena. 'Okay today we have a treat for you. Quinn, the seemingly unstoppable newcomer, will have to run the gauntlet,' the announcer said." (Part 2)


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "One thing she was fairly sure of... mostly sure?... a bit sure... let's say sure of was... what?... Ohhh yeah... that was it... she was pretty sure neither heaven or hell smelled of... what is that stuff?? detergent?... no... disinfectant!... yes that was it... dis... in... fec... tant. Pleased with having worked this important problem out she went back to sleep for a while." (Part 2)


• Lost and Found, by Reven384 (part 6): "She didn’t think she’d ever get off this island. She’d long since given up hope. There was a short period since that day that she allowed herself to hope again, but that was quickly squashed as she realized she had no way of gathering logs big enough to create a raft. She was stuck on this island."


• Man To Man (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I'm you, Jake. The only difference between us is that I had two little girls, and you had a boy and girl.' 'Where you come from, Darius was a girl? Makes sense-' (fhbbbit-!) 'F**K! You shot me in the leg!'"


• Memory's Ashes (IC/Looking For: Daria/Burnout (Jennifer) Fics), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stood on the stage, making final checks on her equipment, when she noticed a pair of familiar glasses out of the corner of one eye. Jennifer looked around, and there was Daria. Their eyes met, and for just a moment, the world froze."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 17): "Once her immediate security was assured, the first thing she noticed was just how normal this place was, with an assortment of decorations that went from the expensive and tasteful to a few handmade articles that could only be considered as tacky, yet they were prominently displayed in the living room. Scattered they were many pictures of the family that lived here, some of those were hers, and always with an annoyed face, and so incredibly unphotogenic."


• Prelude to The Avengers Part One: Origins, by Reven384 (part 4): "Quinn was scared, and she did something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She froze. She just laid there flat on her back unable to move. Unable to think. She was paralyzed by fear."


• Psycho Stacy meets Cannon Stacy (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Psycho Stacy looked at her counter part. They were so alike in so many ways, or at least they used to be before she took command of her life. It was amazing what power tools and a cattle prod could do for one's self esteem."


• Red Squared (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So... tell me more about this Legion thing you're in. Is it better than the Fashion Club, and what's your beauty budget, and do you have the cute little baby-T on under that uniform, because while that looks SO comfy I still just love my Baby-t, and oh, the way that the boys look at me! I know that you have cute boys just dying to take you out from all over - French guys, Spanish guys or Italian guys, which ones are hotter, I KNOW that you've gotten to go to some really nice restaurants, and if you've been in France, did you get any nice scarves?'"


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (parts 6 and 7): "At this point all she could do was deal with what had been handed to her, and then wait for a better chance to work on rebuilding her popularity, it had taken far too many hits as it was. 'Preferably by making people see Daria for what she really is,' Quinn fumed to herself in cold fury, 'An evil slutty bitch!'" (Part 7)


• A Small White Stick, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn, have you been using a pregnancy test?' 'What? What are you talking about? 'A PREGNANCY test. You know, one of those foot-long tubes with a sensitive point that you dip in urine to see if you’re expecting? Knocked up? Preggers? With child?' she interrupted herself as she saw Quinn’s revolted face." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• The Stranger from a Dream (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by oni (COMPLETE!): "'Was it really worth it, Sandi?' Being startled by the voice, Sandi gets off her bed and looks around; trying to find the source of the voice. With anger, Sandi asked, 'Um, who’s in my room?' The large mirror that sat in the corner of her room, lit up. In its bright glowing state, a figure pushed their self on through. At first Sandi didn’t recognize the person, but as the being was almost through, she realized that she was looking at herself."


• Strangers in the Night (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Trent recoiled from his other as if struck. He had gotten a bad vibe off of his doppelganger right at first sight, but brushed it off as willies from seeing somebody who was, for all intents and purposes, himself. But that was no longer the case: it was actually a monster who wore a man's face."


• The Switch (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck had to suppress the urge to start screaming. He wasn't in the compact anymore. He was meeting his counterpart from Dariaverse Prime. Still all that time alone in the dark was horrible. He shivered at the thought of it and smiled. He'd have what he wanted soon enough."


• Tom Meets Tom (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Well,' the other Tom said hesitantly, 'Your family seems ok, for old money types like mine were...' 'Were?' Tom asked quietly, 'Did something happen to the fortune in your life?' 'No.' the other Tom said flatly, 'However recently... Mom admitted to cheating on Dad and that I'm not actually... His son.'"


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (part 6): "Ronnie then turned on the radio and found an alt rock station, which was playing an older Tom Petty tune at the moment. Daria glanced at him and said, 'Is this for my benefit or do you like this sort of music?' 'I do actually,' Ronnie replied, 'Like alt rock I mean.' Then while the pair quizzed each other on their tastes in music, the rumor mill of the LHS student body was spinning out of control."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): "Her sparkling personality held him in thrall. She was like sunlight glimmering on water. A burst of light in a deep darkness. Or any other ridiculous simile to describe the balm to his weary soul."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'You may call me Ms Thomasina Sloane.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Benedika,' the throaty voice of the immensely overweight woman said, 'For some reason not many people know it.' For once, the woman everyone seemed to only call Ms. Johanssen wasn't wearing a mummu and slippers, but instead a plus sized gown that actually made her reasonable to look at."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'NO!' screamed Skylar, sick to his soul. 'It can't be! I-I-I refuse to believe that I'm a rapist in half the known multiverse--'" (Part 2 by Brother Grimace


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'What the f@#%? Did a f@#%ing Junior Bloody Five explode?' Killer Quinn said."

Surf's Up!

It's a big day for summer holidays! Today is International Surfing Day, which Daria appears to be celebrating with uncharacteristic intensity. It's also the anniversary of the release of the movie Jaws, so all you surfers out there better be careful. Don't worry, though--if you run into any trouble, I'm sure Jordana (from "The Daria Hunter") will be there to save you.

Finally, today is the northern solstice, also known as the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and the winter solstice in the Southern Hemisphere.

Fandom News!

• Share your best memories of the Daria IRC chatroom.


• What is your least favorite of Vivaldi's The Four Seasons?


• Discuss the long-awaited movie Judge Dredd in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Six (!) new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Ms. Kinnikufan's Jake without Mad Dog, DigiSim's Jane's Subtraction, Ranger Thorne's Yucking it up, Ms. Kinnikufan's Mr. DeMartino on a date..., and Lord Yellowtail's Funhouse Mirror Time and Daria/Burnout (Jennifer) Fics.

Hooray for Emancipation!

Today is Juneteenth, which commemorates the abolition of slavery in Texas in 1865. It has more recently become an observance of African American history and heritage, and Jodie and Mack are celebrating either way.

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 2: The 8th Circuit, by RX-87 (part 3): "MAX: The prototype?! It's combat ready? NICK: That's what I was going to tell you! MAX: Well what happened? Who was inside it? NICK: That's the part you're not going to believe..."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "As Kay pulled away and began the drive home, and an unusual night of work grading papers, she thought about the subject of distance again, and felt the sickening sensation she always felt when thinking about what had happened in the past. 'It will never fully heal,' Kay reminded herself once again, 'But it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth trying.'" (Part 4)


• God Save the Esteem 42: Combat Rock, by Charles RB (part 3): "All concept of time had been lost; ever since she knew Daria would be coming, every second stretched out for Jane, forcing her to reflect on what had happened, making her wait an agony of an age for her friend, for respite. She’d turned to painting and that worked, as it always did, but the result was jagged darkness and screaming hate. It was subject matter she painted all the time but always under control, often – dare she admit it – artificially because she found it cool rather than because she’d been angry and depressed in real life. This made it clear how she felt inside."


• Lazarettes (Iron Chef: And Go!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Excerpt from the transcript of the interrogation of Quinn L. Morgendorffer by LAPD Officers E. Pulaski and F. Hernandez. QM: I'm a little curious, though... How'd you find out? Was it my mother? She was always uncomfortable when she realized what I'd done but I never thought she'd tell."


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic, by peetz5050 (part 11): "The grim faced monk prowled the halls of Lawndale College of Sorcery and Magecraft, his slippered feet making hardly a sound as he followed his usual route. Every now and then he passed another Brother, standing sentinel or on patrols of their own. He felt refreshed after his prayers and the frugal supper he'd allowed himself so, although his deeply lined face never betrayed a trace of his feelings, he had a spring in his step as he went about his duties."


• A Regret (Iron Chef: Jane's Subtraction), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood in a corner of Brittany's living room, watching the popular people interact. An internal commentary was running through her mind, rude and witty comments on the goings on she had no one to share with."


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 3 The curse of Middleton, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "That day however things took an unexpected turn when, arriving at Crestmore, the Landon’s ran into the Ruttheimer’s. Jodie wasn’t happy to be in the presence of the most perverted boy in Lawndale High school. Great, now all that’s left is the invasion of locusts and today will be set. Jodie thought as Charles and his father approached them." (Part 10)


• Return to Highland, by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "Mr. Hansen walked around from behind the desk. 'You’re more than welcome.' He hesitated for a minute, and then extended his hand. Daria took it, shaking it firmly. Then, without notice, Hansen pulled Daria to him, and wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. Daria resisted only for a moment. 'I’ve wanted to do this for years.' He whispered into her ear. Jane and Tilly leapt to their feet, but Hansen had broken the embrace before they could make a move. 'I’m sorry. I should have asked first.'"


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (part 5): "'I... Well we were thinking about the, you know, laundry room incident and I was wondering...' 'Is Mack there?' Daria asked out of curiosity again. 'Yes,' Jodie replied and felt a hint of desire escape into her tone, bringing a smile to Mack Dynamite’s lips, 'And well... Do you want to try again? Without interruptions?' '...Oh yes.'"


• A Small White Stick, by JPAGC (part 2): "I found something important at my house yesterday.' 'What?' 'Promise me you won’t shout out when I tell you, okay?' Jane raised an eyebrow. 'Another promise...?' Another begging look from her friend made her stop. 'Okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut. What is it?' 'I found a used pregnancy test in the house trash. A positive pregnancy test.'"


• Tales of the Ringbearers: A Salvage Attempt (IC: Hell is Crossed People), by Doggieboy (part 1): "Rose scanned the bone and sighed. She looked down and took several deep breaths. 'If the DNA is right, this is Wendy’s. Apparently...she was eaten. Hopefully, she was dead when they - whoever or whatever they were - started on her.' Robert scanned the dried blood and frowned. 'There’s something wrong with this blood. There’s traces of some sort of virus that I’m unfamiliar with.'"


• Touchdown (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Kevin and Brittany were making out on the couch. Brittany was responsible for babysitting a baby tonight which meant fun time for Kevin. The baby started to cry a little and Kevin's head got kinda fuzzy. He removed his tongue from Brittany's mouth and smacked his head to see if that would help him see strait."


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (parts 4 and 5): "Once they were in the car, it only took a quick look-see to reveal that all three Morgendorffers were now at the window staring at the spectacle, Daria’s mom was clearly conflicted, her dad had a video camera, and Quinn had a phone seemingly glued to her ear, clearly giving a blow by blow account to someone (Stacy) as she stared wide-eyed at what she had assumed would never happen. Daria going out, on a date, with a cute guy, and doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff." (Part 5)


• Unnamed story (IC: Fashion Club Reunion Road Trip), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "EXT: LATE NIGHT. Wolves howl in the cold desert night. A rent-a-car is parked at the side of a lonely road. Forty yards away, using only a flashlight for light, Quinn digs while Stacy holds the light. They have been taking turns digging, and both look like they've been through hell."


• Unnamed story (IC: Mr. DeMartino on a date...), by peetz5050 (part 1): "Anthony sat nervously at the quiet corner table for two. He couldn't stop himself from checking his watch every few seconds or taking sips of his iced water... he didn't dare drink alcohol... not until he met her... didn't want to make a bad first impression."


• Untitled Ficlet/Quasi-Short Story 180612 (Iron Chef: Jane's Subtraction), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'It means... look just let me get through this part, ok? Then there'll be a video...' He continued with some explanations before resuming his monologue. Daria hesitated, thought again to intervene and then looked around. Her interruption had made her notice by the half dozen other teenagers in class. Some were looking at her even these could not remove the boring look present on their faces. Nobody had made any comment."


• Upchuck Meets Mistress Hedwig (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Charles Ruttheimer III was awoken rudely by the sudden jerking sensation of his chains being pulled suddenly upward. 'Ow!' He moaned more in shock than actual pain, then began to realize that he wasn't in his room, instead he was in a darkened dungeon filled with bizzare devices, and even stranger smells, and the faint sound of what was either screams or moans, or both."


• Worldhopper (Chapter 4), by Erin M. (part 1): "'Don't play dumb with me! You KNOW what I'm talking about!' Griffin began pacing back and forth in front of Daria, ranting. 'For the past eight months, you pathetic losers have been causing problems for me, for the PPP, for the country as a whole! You and all your friends have been plotting to ruin everything I've tried to build. To make the world a better place. Where people don't have to think about all the rotten shit the world throws at them! Where people are happy!'"

For All the Dads Out There

Happy Father's Day! Our favorite paternal role model, Jake Morgendorffer, is a bit busy bonding with his own father at the moment, but for all the other fathers (and father figures) out there, hope you have a good one. I haven't been able to unearth any Father's Day-related Daria fanfics out there, but if I've missed any then by all means post them in the comments.

Fandom News!

• ticknart has a question about school buses in other countries.


• DocForbin wonders if this e-mail is on the level.


• View an honest movie trailer for Avatar.


• DIsaac posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Fashion Club Reunion Road Trip.

I Bet Brooke Still Hasn't Recovered from Her Nasal Relapse

Happy 15th anniversary to the episode "Too Cute," which first aired on this day in 1997. Hard to believe it's been fifteen years, though. I bet Dr. Shar looks exactly the same now as she did then. Plastic and horrifying.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 6): "He holds out his hand to Anthony, who ignores it and beckons him over to a corner of the lobby, away from the doors and the elevators. We walk over to the mailboxes in the corner. Ross hands over a photo to Anthony of the mark. Well, whaddya know. He's just a plain old Average Joe. Brown hair, brown eyes, check shirt, no scars or marks. So much for my hopes they all look like creeps like Ross. Oh well."


• Blessings of the Moon -- Chapter 7, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'Of the Moon...' Stacy spoke near monotone as she dragged the shovel across the soft soil of the garden, 'For blessings to be given... Parent, soul, of spirituality in name.' The words made no sense but she continued to repeat them, over and over again as she carved through the dirt."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 2): "Gibson then got down to some business and had some volunteers hand out the schedules for the tutoring, the sessions would last for an hour and a half and would happen for over two weeks, one tutor would be assigned to a group and would cover the various required subjects. Ethan’s group as it turned out would be the guys off the Track team mixed in with some football players."


• God Save the Esteem 42: Combat Rock, by Charles RB (part 2): "'A dam burst and we can’t stop it,' said Erin. 'Sorry to love you and leave you, Kelly, but we need to get to Ashfield across state,' said Amy. 'There’s been a thing.' 'Not for much longer,' said Daria, calm and peaceful as long as you didn’t look into her eyes."


• The Hunter Home from the Hill, by DeacBlue (part 7): "Daria blushed slightly. 'Mom, I don't think that that would be a good idea.' She looked down. 'We were talking the other day, and she said that she hadn't seen her parents in six months - and that it took what you've been paying her to keep the house out of foreclosure.' She looked into her mother's eyes. 'Mom-my? Could we use part of my reward to help her stay in her house?' Helen looked into the trusting eyes of her daughter. 'Oh, hell,' she muttered into Daria's hair as she hugged her."


• Just Another Teacher Crush, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Well...I normally keep my urges bottles up...today I made an exception. Mr. DeMartino is usually perceived as an angry old man. On the outside he looks about as cuddly as a pissed off porcupine with a grenade. That’s how everyone else sees him anyway. I see a beacon of masculine force."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 7), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Yes, we need to find it by Monday morning,' Jeremy said. 'Why? What will happen on Monday morning?' Joanna asked. 'You don’t need to know,' Hannah said as she locked the car. 'I think we do,' Jess said. Jeremy merely uttered 'Distortion.' 'Huh?' Josiah asked. 'Think about it,' Jeremy said."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 16): "'Quinn, did you say something?' It was her mother, and she didn’t sound as if she was about to bolt any second now. Maybe she didn’t was in a party, maybe she was sick. '...ater' 'Just a second honey...' Her next words were louder, loud enough for her headache to flare, 'nurse, she’s awake, have the doctor here now! And bring some water.'"


• Return to Highland, by neonhomer (parts 8 and 9): "Not much was said between the group, except the occasional 'Not bad.' or 'It’s not killing me yet.' They were so busy eating, they didn’t notice the man walk up to their table. 'Daria? Daria Morgendorffer?' 'Who’s ask....' Started Daria as she looked up, and instantly recognized the man standing before her. 'Stewart Stevenson.'" (Part 9)


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (part 4): "Daria felt her smile turn dark as the executives of the Mall of Millennium went into spin mode, trying to dig their way out of pulling a secret focus-group on teenagers without paying. 'Time to extort them for cash.' Daria thought as she, and oddly enough Jodie and Mack went to town on them. They didn’t stand a chance."


• A Small White Stick, by JPAGC (part 1): "Walking on the driveway as quickly as possible to the trash bins, she thought for the umpteenth time of some kind of tray to transport the bags. It would be much more practical and more sanitary. Just a few more steps... The bag was really heavy. She quickened the pace when she felt the plastic giving way... ...And the bag, overweight, ripped itself, spilling its dirty contents on the driveway."


• Something Something Slam , by TheExcellentS (part 3): "O'Neill: 'Moving on, as we just heard from Claire Defoe, the LFC Women's Tag Team Championship is on the line as The Dames Of Darkness, Andrea Hecuba-Thorne and Scarlett LeFaye, take on No. 1 Contenders from Esteemster Series, Ruby Montag and Winona Polizzi of A-List Incorporated.' Barch: 'This should be a classic battle. Ruby and Winona have a much more refined wrestling style than Andrea and Scarlett, but there are very few people in the women's division that can match the Dames in terms of the power game.'"


• Tom Plays Nurse Goodnsexy (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Don't worry Trent,' Jane cooed sweetly to her brother as he lay in his bed, sicker than a dog, 'I've got you the best medical help I could.'"


• Unexpected Hookup: First Taste, by Shiva (parts 1 - 3): "Daria had done something she hardly ever did for anyone that night, she had dropped her anti-social mask ever so slightly and had discovered a person who actually liked what he saw behind it. 'She’s got so much depth,' Ronnie thought to himself once more about their time at Pizza Prince, 'And ye God is she smart, she puts all the other smart students to freaking shame!'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (IC: Awkward/WTF Endings), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Timothy O'Neill woke up the next day feeling great, he rolled over in his bed and caressed his new found lover and whispered to him, 'It's so nice of Janet to have died in that "car accident" last night, isn't it sweety?'"


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Waylander (parts 1 and 2): "Chaplain Timothy O’Neill paced back and forth in Principal’s office, gathering the courage to speak. Five pairs of eyes watched him with a mix of impatience and boredom. 'I had the liberty to go through the files of our potential recruits. What I’ve learned is really disturbing. One of the newborn mages in Texas, she is... Well, it seems that the situation is more complicated than usual.'" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Daria:" My name is Daria; and I will be the focus of this fanfic. Before we begin I just want to clear up that there will be no sexual or otherwise crude humor in this story....'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened her front door early in the morning and groaned when she saw Cupid and Saint Pattrick waiting. 'Whatever you want I don't care, I'm graduating soon so your threats of making my parents lovely dovey won't work on me."


• When In Doubt (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "A penlight held in her mouth provided the only illumination, and Quinn worked quickly, going through drawers in search of her prize. Working from the bottom, she searched the dresser drawers until finally, she pulled something from the top drawer with an internal crow of triumph."

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason."

Hey, it's Smile Power Day! Observe the holiday by giving everybody a great big smile! Uh, not you, Daria. You're automatically exempt. Please stop smiling now.

Also, happy birthday to Bif Naked, who was born on this day in 1971. The singer, as most of us probably already know, voiced the character Alison from Is It Fall Yet?


Fandom News!

• A bacon sundae? Post your thoughts about the new...item...in the thread.


• The UK Channel VIVA is showing reruns of Daria!


• DocForbin is trying to find an old comedy sketch. Can you help?


• Join the discussion about the upcoming reboot of Dallas.


• Talk about the new TV show Head Games in the thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Shiva's Ronnie, the Guy that told Quinn No and Ms. Kinnikufan's Jake/Mr. Demartino/Mr. O'Neil Roadtrip.

Don't Try the Kitchen Sink Stew. Trust Me.

Today is National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, a holiday that just sounds custom-made for Jake Morgendorffer. He's going to celebrate by whipping up some delicious dinner, and my recommendation for the rest of you is to order out for pizza.

Fanfic Update!

• Absolutely Certain (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, come now, Daria,' Charles said, all but licking his lips as he looked across the table at Daria and Jane. 'Only a Sith deals in absolutes.'"


• The Adventures of Lobo (Scenes That Could Be - The Non-Daria Edition), by Doggieboy (part 2): "For a few seconds, he looked over the coin and held it up in front of her face. 'What does all this stuff mean, Fluffy? I have a feeling that you have something to do with this coin. I just don’t know what. I don’t even know who I can confide with about it.' He then shuddered. 'I don’t even want to think about what my father and Dr. Antoninus would say about it.'"


• After the Disaster - Too Cute, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Tiffany sighed, forcing herself to somehow finish her sentence without messing up, 'It's the cutest...' She said, stumbling on the words a bit but making it out, well enough, somehow deep down hoping to impress Brooke. Though Brooke didn't pay any attention anyways."


• All That Remains Is Cold, by Shiva (part 4): "'Are you guys like, dating?' 'No,' Ester answered this time, clearly tired of the subject, 'We’re just friends.' Garrett just smiled at that and said, 'Sure, of course you are.' And strode away, and couldn’t resist a smile at the two emotionally disconnected kids denials of something that was already obvious, even Daphne had noticed."


• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 7): "Quinn stepped forward—I immediately grabbed her arm and yanked her back. 'What are you doing?' 'Duh, talking to the reporter lady!' Quinn dropped her voice to a hiss. 'This is our chance! We just tell them about the Yeerks and—' '—let the whole invasion force know who we are? Are you crazy?!'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 11), by oni (part 2): "'Helen, it’s me Linda,' Sandi’s mother said panicky on the other end. Picking up on Linda’s tone, Helen asked, 'Is everything ok Linda?' 'No Helen, look I’ve already called 911 and they’re on the way...'"


• Big Jake's Harley-Davidson, by Ranger Thorne (continued): "By the time they’d reached their podium a small crowd had gathered simply to see the rolling rack. With a smirk, Jake accepted a $12000 check from a local dealer and the rack was gone. 'I guess we’ll have to make sure we don’t have to cart it home,' Jane said as he smirked at his daughter. 'You think Jane can survive being parted from her work?' Daria asked. 'We might have to sell her, too.' 'Just make sure he’s cute and rich,' Jane admonished. 'He?'"


• A Brisk Rowe (PLOT BUNNIES II: Still furry, Still free), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "'Wow, Sandi,' Stacy said in reverence, 'I didn’t know you had this.' 'Like, my collection of recalled mascara is quite impressive,' the president of the Fashion Club proudly stated."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 7 Chaos Theory, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The Superintendent of the school district, Mr. Cartwright stood before the podium in the school’s auditorium and finished his pre-written pep speech, not that he believed for a second that the students cared, but since the media was present in a small force for some good sound bites, he felt obliged to fake it. 'And sadly I am forced to announce that your former Principal, Ms. Angela Li was as of this morning formally checked into Brookside Rest Home, pending a complete psychological evaluation.'"


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 8 Negotiable Education, by Shiva (part 1): "'Who’s the sub?' Ethan asked out of idle curiosity. 'Oh you’ll see...' Helen said with glee and a smile that reminded Ethan of a smile Daria would give just before unleashing an epic plan that brought horror and misery to her foes."


• Family New, by RLobinske (part 5): "Jane said, 'Um, Rita. Would you have a problem if I stay here tonight?' 'Oh, dear me, no. As long as it is okay with your mother,' Rita said. 'I don't think she'll object.'"


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 6): "'There are poisons... a LOT of poisons... and drugs... a LOT of drugs...' added Jane, knowing Daria's soft spots '... think about the infinite potential of such knowledge, for your stories... or everyday life, sometimes.' 'Well... if you put it that way...' she replied, more than a little intrigued, in spite her previous experiences '... ok... I'm in.'"


• The Foregone Lovers... (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "The two killed the witch and everything seemed over. They shared a passionate kiss over their slain enemies. The older man and her shared only that moment for she pushed away and began to leave."


• International PamLoon's European Trip, by multiple authors (part 1 by DeacBlue): "'Oh, all right. I was wondering if you had gotten a job for after graduation?' Daria's eyes rose. 'Well, I was going to get a part-time job to keep me in food while Jane and I spent the summer seeing how being together without any pressure affected our works.' 'Great!' Helen said, puzzling Daria. 'Would you do us a favor and not accept any offers until after we see you at graduation?'" (Part 2 by peetz5050)


• Into the Black, Into the Blue (Chapter 2), by Lord Yellowtail (part 3): "Adobe scowled. That’s it exactly. Don’t you think it’s just a bit too convenient that right when we need to send Question reinforcements Hoover Dam just happens to experience a catastrophic explosion? It went unsaid that the NID had been laying progressively more dangerous and complicated traps for Question, with increasingly more outrageous diversions."


• Lost and Found, by Reven384 (part 6): "'Look Jane I told you before that I’m fine,' Daria said through clinched teeth, 'Mom and Dad are the ones hurting. I have to be strong for them.' 'Fine I get that, but you don’t have to be strong for me. You are going to fall apart Daria. If you want to be there to do what needs to be done for your parents you need someone to vent to. You need someone you can be weak around. For goodness sakes Daria your sister died. You are not fine....'"


• MLP: Dystoponia, by Erin M. (part 1): "Twilight turned back, leaving the hat where it was, and opened the door. Derpy Hooves, her perpetually cross-eyed smiling expression in place, was there, holding out a package. 'Special Delivery for Twilight Sparkle!' she said. 'Oh! Thanks.' Twilight took the package and signed on the clipboard Derpy had pulled from her mail pouch. 'Who's it from?' 'Came all the way from Canterlot!'"


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (parts 13 - 15): "She was currently investigating her own name, which was rare enough as to be able to confidently read past articles going back entire years and be fairly sure they were about her. Her notebook was already filled with random data from a more or less superficial research of both Jake and Helen Morgendorffer." (Part 14) (Part 15)


• Prelude to The Avengers Part One: Origins, by Reven384 (part 4): "Quinn was nervous. It’d been six months since she’d saw her family. Her facial features pretty much looked the same, but she’d become a complete amazon. She was taller. She knew her parents would be shocked. Part of her was looking forward to it."


• Production Value (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Jane stormed through Daria's front door, hair mussed and lipstick smeared. Her red jacket hung off of one shoulder and she carried her bra, a red lace confection with a pair of hearts over the tips of the cups, in her left hand."


• The Runaway: The Identity Game, by Aloysius (part 1): "He nodded and said, 'I also get top dollar for what I sell.' Melody frowned slightly. --Something’s not right here.-- 'Oh? Such as?' The skinny man sat upright and threw the blanket off of him to reveal a double-barreled shotgun."


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (part 3): "'So...' Daria continued, dragging out the so deliciously, 'I took steps to spare poor Skylar an evening of Quinn’s company.' Then she dropped the hammer, 'Besides aren’t you supposed to be babysitting Saturday night Quinn?' Quinn gasped and tried to salvage this, but sadly Helen hadn’t been paying complete attention to the conversation, but she did get the gist of Quinn trying to skip out of her responsibilities."


• Tortured Like a Love Song (Hell is Crossed People), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Mack was having trouble opening up his eyes. After all the horror he witnessed today, he wondered if he could just give up and die, but he knew his mind wouldn't let him. He had to know what was happening."


• Twenty-Five Things About Julia Carlyle (LLH Mini), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Gawd! Stacy - are you really, like, reading a copy of Val right now? 'Actually, Quinn, it’s mine.' Quinn Morgendorffer – dressed perfectly for the warm June day, just like her two fellow Legionnaires, looked questioningly over at Sandi Griffin. 'I promised to get Julia to sign it for my brothers – she has an article in the "summer fun" issue that came out this month.'"


• Undying Love, by BrownEyedBagel (part 9): "Jane was at one point her best friend. Their bond survived quite a few trials; a certain incident with Tom being one that broke most bonds. Their feelings went beyond friendship eventually; feelings that they kept to themselves for months. Watching Jane sleep was a welcome sight back then. These days however, Jane unconscious was not a soothing image."


• Unexpected Hookup (Iron Chef: Ronnie, the Guy that told Quinn No), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'What's funny?' Daria Morgendorffer asked as she stepped out of the laundry room, Ronnie noticed right off the bat that she wasn't wearing her usual coat, revealing a tight mustard yellow top that kinda clashed with her skirt."


• Unnamed story (Crossover High), by Brother Grimace (prologue): "Zack: Hey, everybody! Now, you're probably wondering how most of us ended up here at Lawndale High, when Slater, Kelly and the rest of the gang are from Bayside High, all the way out in CA - right? Tell you what - you don't ask how we got here, and I won't ask how Lawndale suddenly moved from Texas to Maryland, okay? Great!"


• Unnamed story (Crossover High), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, no! Ms. Li's latest budget-cutting measure - growing crops underneath the school in a special hydroponics facility - has endangered the city!' Dressed in a very flattering Roman-style gown, Michelle Landon stood atop the roof of the Halcyon complex, and broadcast a message with her mind. 'Planeteers! You are needed!'"


• Unnamed story (Crossover High), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "Before Daria could reply, the sound of a high performance engine drew the girls' attention. They watched as a gorgeous red 1961 Ferrari GT California pulled up beside them, with two young men, one at the wheel and the other in the back seat."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Ronnie, the Guy that told Quinn No), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Do you understand what you're passing up, here? I take you out, buy you nice things, then go home to my boyfriend. You go home to whoever you have. Everyone thinks we're a couple, everyone wins."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Ronnie, the Guy that told Quinn No), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Ronnie said, 'You're never going to go out with me, are you?' Quinn said, quietly. 'No.' Quinn suddenly had an idea. 'I could hook you up with someone else though.'"


• Unpopular, by Reven384 (part 1): "'I’m just saying neither one of you make friends as easily as other people,' Jake said. Quinn turned up the radio not liking where this conversation was going. Jake turned the radio off clueless as usual. 'Yeah but the question is which one of us is worse at making friends? Me who actively tries to avoid people or my sister who desperately wants the approval of the so called in crowd but ends up their butt monkey instead,' Daria deadpanned."

Roses are Red, Tom's Feeling Blue...

Happy Red Rose Day! Tom Sloane should fish that bouquet out of the trash and get into the spirit of the day, too. Then again, if Daria Morgendorffer was pissed off at me for reasons I didn't understand, I'd probably feel much the same way.

Fandom News!

• Quinn Morgendorffer has found Tumblr! Check out the link in the thread.


• Kim Possible fans might enjoy an interesting blog post about naked mole rats.


• ThanatosRW challenges the fanfic writers to come up with ideas for Crossover High.


• Ms. Kinnikufan posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Jake and Helen are stepsiblings (who still get together).

Pay No Attention to the Principal Behind the Curtain!

Happy birthday to the late Judy Garland, born on this day in 1922! Judy Garland, of course, starred in the movie The Wizard of Oz, which featured Li--I mean, Oz--the Great and Powerful Wizard. There were several references to the movie in Daria, including O'Neill's comparison of The Red Badge of Courage and the Cowardly Lion in "Fire!" or DeMartino's emotional "And you were there!" upon waking from what he thought was a dream in "Lucky Strike."

Fanfic Update!

• The Aftermath of The One In Which Brittany Goes to Planned Parenthood For... Reasons (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Brittany then strode the halls of the local Planned Parenthood with a bounce in her step, the terrible weight had been lifted right off her shoulders. After some tries, and some embarrassing incidents with other patients, the cheerful cheerleader found the right door that lead to the reception area where her ride was waiting. 'Hey Daria, Jane.' Brittany said with a smile, 'I'm ready to go now.'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 11), by oni (part 1): "As she was watching it, a pickup truck drove by and brought her back to her surroundings. Linda didn't think much of the pickup truck at first glance, but as it was driving down the street, she saw something that caught her eye. In the truck bed were three girls with what appeared to Linda to be guns."


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 9): "'I thought Mike loved me,' she said, her voice weak. 'He told me that he loved me so many times.' A lot of words came to Scarlett then. Words of how much better Tan was without the abusive bastard. Words about how Angel was right about him all along. Words about how his perverted tendencies had been there all along, and the three of them had just merely ignored the signs." (Also posted on the SFMB)


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 12): "I then had a thought. 'Maybe your problem is you have too many options. Sometimes limitations can paradoxically free you creatively.' I remembered hearing something similar once before, and I winced when I realized who had said it."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 5b): "Rod stepped forward and put a hand on one of the items in Kent's arms. 'Wait a moment! Isn't this supposed to be a doo-dad?' 'It's not yours, anyway', Karen said. 'But is there something wrong with it?' said Kent. 'Does that really look like a doo-dad to you? I'd say it's more of a doo-hickey.'"


• Dystoponia (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic), by Erin M. (prologue): "The Curse is spreading. I may not be able to see it with my own eyes, but I know it's spreading. I hear it in the wind, smell it in the air, taste it in my food. It's been spreading ever since the war ended. The Forest isn't the only place where the rules are different anymore. Equestria is dying."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 7 Chaos Theory, by Shiva (parts 7 and 8): "'Zon.' Ethan and Josh said at the same time, then they look at each other and laughed, it was the best place in town to party for those who were into good times and didn't give a crap about the whole popularity thing. The popular had places like Trendee's to go and look good and be boring and junk." (Part 8)


• Flynn at 1111 Glen Oak (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Sandi saw the strange vehicle come skidding to a stop, although not before knocking the 'Inator' over. He also saw that the scientist guy had fled. 'I'm sure he has stuff here to defend against whatever is in that vehicle.' For all she knew, Doofenshmirtz could have nemeses other than Perry. 'Who's also gone.' She rolled her eyes. Of all the possibilities she could have imagined, she didn't expect what happened next..."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You trust me to guard one of your gigs?' Quinn felt something deep inside, a sense of pride she hadn't felt since she'd won her first three-on-one fight. She wanted to speak, to thank her parents for this much trust, to thank them for seeing her do something and believing that she could do it. But that would make her look wussy in front of people, so she punched her dad instead."


• God Save the Esteem 42: Combat Rock, by Charles RB (part 1): "A punk woman, somewhere between late twenties and early thirties, picks the infant up. (The woman has a shaved head but seems to be trying to regrow her hair, and has tried dying it green; it looks like a lawn with weeds growing in it) 'Come on, Daria,' she coos. 'Speak for Mummy.'"


• The Hunter Home from the Hill, by DeacBlue (part 6): "'Excuse me,' he asked, 'but is this the Morgendorffer residence?' 'It is,' Daria replied. 'How can I help you?' 'A Mrs. Helen Morgendorffer hired me to do something that I think is likely impossible - to teach someone ten grade levels of history in a month.'"


• I Don't Redux (IC: Daria and Quinn really are cousins), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Amy walked up to Daria and said, 'Things are getting ugly. I suggest we make a hasty but unobtrusive exit.' 'Do that mother it's what you're best at,' Quinn said. 'Quinn,' Amy said feeling uncomfortable as she could see no way to escape."


• Instead of Planned Parenthood, Brittany Goes... Economy Style (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'But Kevy,' Brittany said with a groan while the foreign object inside of her dug into her flesh, 'Are you sure this is a good idea?'"


• Kiss-Cam (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'And now, ladies and gentlemen, Lawndale High School is proud to present - the "Kiss-Cam'!'"


• Kiss-Cam: A Royal Perspective (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You have violated this great sanctuary with your presence.' Zeus, the King of the Gods, looked with complete disdain at the young man who stood before him (and the other assembled members of the Pantheon) with an air of complete victory."


• The Line, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "He reached out and caressed her cheek with his thumb. 'Would you like to look at the stars after we finish?' 'Skylar, this is our first date in three years. I'm not comfortable with making out yet,' Quinn said, looking straight into his eyes while brushing his hand away. 'Did -' She stopped as his face twisted into a mask of rage."


• One Night With Kevin, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Ms. Li opened the door of the lounge but didn't go out, instead she stood inside the doorway as she watched Helen go to Chip's desk and pick up the phone. Kevin stood behind her where he could see and was surprised when Ms. Li took a packet of cigarettes out of her bag and lit one. He moved back a pace to avoid the smoke, waving it away from his face. She whispered 'Sorry Kevin, but I need to steady my nerves, this could be good news... or very bad.'"


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (parts 10 - 12): "The soft sound of the alarm in her watch startled Melody and she had to suppress a cry of pain when her head hit the bottom of the bed. She stopped moving for a few seconds to try hearing if her sudden movement had waked her lover/prisoner from his chemical nap. Satisfied that the only sound was the one of the soft whining of Ken she crawled out of the bed." (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Psychosteemsters (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Mrs. Manson held the flash card up to Daria, a patronizing smile stretching her thin mouth. 'Dara, can you make up a story like your sister's?' Daria stared dispassionately at the woman, then grabbed the Rubik's cube off of the desk and solved it in just a few seconds. She slammed it down in front of the teacher and stormed out."


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 3 The curse of Middleton, by ST91 (part 8): "A few minutes later the Hecubas and Jane were on the road. the trip to Lawndale State took half an hour but for Jane , as she chatted with Andrea and her parents , that time seemed to last only a few minutes. Jane loved that she could, even if briefly, be with them : so she could feel herself part of a family. A true family. Jane thought sadly."


• Ride, Ride, Ride, by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "I sighed, and had resolved to just grabbing my order and walking back to the shop to eat, when the one in the red jacket offered me to sit with them. The one in green appeared displeased, but echoed her companion's offer. They sat across from each other, and the girl in red offered for me to sit next to her."


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (part 2): "'I have my father's gold card and I do just happen to know that there is a Bikini Island at the Mall of the Millennium, if you catch my drift...' 'What? Oh sorry I wasn't paying attention.' Jane muttered, trying to kill this idea before it got out of hand. Daria just laughed and replied, 'Oh Charlie, I already picked out my swimsuits for next year, and if you're lucky you just might see me in them... When the weather is nice of course.' Upchuck growled and said, 'Feisty!'"


• Undying Love, by BrownEyedBagel (part 8): "He slammed his fists on the keys and got to his feet. He didn't know where she was, but she knew where he was. He didn't know what her numbers were, but they had to be higher than his. The end game situation back in Lawndale was bad, this was worse. He grinded his teeth for a moment, she was just playing with him now."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Jane stared in horror at the twisted body under the tires of the Morgendorffer SUV. Daria finished throwing up and walked over to her."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by JohnHWatson (COMPLETE!): "'Well, this is interesting,' Daria observed. 'A surprise plot twist.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria grimaced and stared down into her bowl. 'My ice cream is salty.'" (Continued by Ranger Thorne) (Continued by Shiva)


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love, by deneich (part 12): "There was none of the prior tentativeness in Dad's reply: he, honestly, didn't know anything more. That was troubling, if Mom didn't feel comfortable telling Dad, while he was driving, then the news must be bad indeed. I, normally, would consider myself to be a reasonable and rational person; but – as the tears clouded my vision and then slowly laid tracks down my cheeks – it amazed me what desperate and terrible visions my fifteen year-old mind could create. I was scared, it was unreasonable and irrational but – nevertheless – I was cold-sweat scared."


• World's Medium-Sized Crossover, by Roentgen (part ): "Upchuck indicated the felt shapes on the table. He passed out the felt shapes to each person at the table. 'What is this?' Daria asked. 'Of all the timelines,' Upchuck explained, 'this is clearly the darkest...which is why I propose we commit to being evil.'"