A Barbershop Quartet Minus One

Today is Barbershop Quartet Day, and the three Js are doing their best to honor it even if they happen to be one member short. I wonder who would be the most likely candidate to join them--Ted? Robert? Upchuck? Hmm. "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feeeeiiiisty!"

Nah.

New Fanfic!

• A Capella (Iron Chef: Womanly Talks), by Ray (COMPLETE!): "Jane hesitantly took the money and stuck it in her jeans pocket. 'Alrighty, so you two have swapped rooms, without apparent bloodshed, thereby certainly triggering the apocalypse and the end of all civilization. Do I have until at least midnight, because there are some final paintings I’d really like to do in my last hours on Earth.'"


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (part 5): "Dorian had just finished putting the second plug in his ear when a splash followed by Trent's scream echoed through the house. Then the sounds of footsteps running towards the room. Jane dashed into the room, slammed the door, and leaned against it. Dorian winced at the pounding noise on the other side."


• Genesis, by VPrad: "'There’s something else. You said we would find some kind of confrontation inside there. That puts us in a very delicate situation,' He answered. 'If we want to go deep enough to achieve inception, we have to use powerful sedatives. The problem is that, they’re going to be too powerful.' 'What do you mean, too powerful?' Quinn asked. 'I mean that if we get killed inside that dream...' he paused, '...we won’t wake up in the real world, we’ll drop into limbo.'"


• The Girl In Question, by Silver (part 5): "Quinn Morgendorffer was getting sick and tired of walking. It had been four hours. She hadn't seen the girl, or more shadow monsters, or anyone else. And she was getting tired of it. 'GOD! Where is everyone!' It was more a shouted statement than exasperated question. It was answered by the sound of running footsteps. A dozen soldiers rounded the bend, rifles raised."


• God Save The Esteem ep 26: Quaran-Tommed, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "Kay Sloane was on the phone. 'I’ll just ask him now-' she said, then turned to Tom. 'Tom, would Daria like to join us at the Cove?' Hell no, thought Tom, but he couldn’t say that to his mother so he said 'I’ll ask her' instead. He was in two minds about it, really. On the one hand, if Daria was at the Cove then he’d have someone he wanted to talk to there. On the other, it’d involve exposing Daria to his extended family and taking her to the world’s dullest summer retreat, and he wanted her to remain his girlfriend. Whichever option won, they’d both lose." (Part 2)


• Hobbitdale (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn got out of the car, ensuring that her long red hair was swept back enough so that her pointed ears, which showed her Half-Elven heritage, were not hidden. Immediately she noticed that the majority of the students were Hobbits, though she could see the odd Human, Dwarf or even Orc here and there."


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 1): "'So, Daria...' 'So, mother...' 'What were you and James really doing in your room... alone?' In her usual deadpan Daria said, 'We were studying the Unabomber's manifesto for ideas on how to blow up the school.'"


• Life of Love (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 1), by Hyrin: "'No, I was actually going to invite you to join me, if you’d like.' He stared at her for a second. She had a broad smile and a face full of freckles. Her auburn hair was pulled up in a tight bun. In that one moment, Marcus became smitten. 'I’m Marcus. Marcus Morgendorffer,' he said as he sat opposite her. 'Ruth O’Reilly. It’s nice to meet you.'" (Part 1b)


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (part 4): "Jane looked bemused. 'A bronze bull. ... Brittany, did we sign a deal with Red Bull?' 'Ummmmm, I don’t think so,' said Brittany. 'Could be a customer of the year award for Julia,' said Tom. 'Yawn,' said Julia, well pissed off about the constant stream of Red Bull jokes based on it’s tag line. Daria used her flight ring to lift herself up and confirmed the location of a door on it’s back, there was a hasp with a padlock and a key. She had noticed some oxidation on it’s belly. She landed. 'This probably came from a friend of Boliver Trask, an attempt to set me off.'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn? You really should get up,' he said, shaking her gently. As he did, he heard her diary fall to the floor. As he picked it up, he saw several small white pills fall out of it. He felt his heart sink as he shook Quinn again, whispering, 'Quinn? Wake up. Please, baby, wake up.'"


• Monster, by VPrad (part 1): "Do you know those stories with a big happy ending? You know, the ones in which the main character overcomes all the difficulties that appear along the way with the help of those around him. And in the end everybody learns a valuable lesson about life and ends up a bit happier than before. Well, this is not one of those. In about half an hour I will be dead."


• My Best Friend, by Smijey (parts 2 - 4): "'You know,' I said off-handedly. 'If we go to that party, we won't have to stay at home.' I could see the war waging itself across Jane's face, as her lip trembled and her eyes darted around for an escape. Finally, she nodded, a very short gesture I would have missed had I blinked. 'Okay then. It's party time.'" (Part 3) (Part 4)


• My Night At Jane’s, by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking up and down the rows of Drugs’N Stuff with a hand full of snacks and sodas. First time in months for a bad movie night with Jane. Wanting to forget and start a new from Tom and get back to normal. As Daria walked to Jane’s she wanted to ask Jane some questions about Tom and have him out of both there lives."


• One Door Open, One Door Closed (LLH 'Mini'), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "“No – how the President’s trying to get back his ‘legacy’,” the blonde chirped. “About twenty minutes ago, he signed an Executive Order that gets rid of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ for good.' Danielle blinked hard. 'He what?'"


• A Powerful Force, by DIsaac (prologue): "My name is Daria Morgendorffer and I'm a writer.....Well that the name and occupation the rest of the world knows me for. Actually the name is Melody Powers and I work for The CIA. You can just call me Mel."


• Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Hey, Burnout Girl, how did you, like, get in. I know that Britt didn't invite you,' Kevin was about to say more, but was interuppted by Jennifer. 'Kevin. How many times have I told you that I hate that name!' She exclaimed. 'Aahh!' Kevin ran off, Jennifer being angry wasn't pretty."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 45): "Daria took off her glasses again and reset the focus. Most of the cheerleaders were female, but there were a few guys there too. There was one guy, wearing a blue and white sweater and white woolen slacks. He held a megaphone and lead the Bromwell supporters with chants of 'Go Bromwell!' and 'Crestmore Stinks!' He looked sort of familiar. Then he turned around. 'Oh. My. God.' Jane bit into her donut. 'All I can say, is I'm glad I'm not dating him anymore.'"


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 5 and 6): "While Jamie White didn’t feel like working tonight, that bar he had put food on the table and clothes on his family’s back. While his wife, Rachel, was infinitely supportive and told him he should take the time off if he needed to, he would rather have worked anyway. Concentrating on something, anything, would make the pain go away for a while." (Part 6)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I'm not alone in here. The phone vibrates just enough to let me know they're a good bit off, and the scratching noises let me know there's more than one of them. Every once in a while I can hear the sound of metal tapping on metal, but it's not quite the same sound as the runners would make. No, this is something new." (New part) (Newer part)


• Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick: "Daria didn't even bother telling Helen about the debacle at the bridal shop. After school the next day, she and Jane retired to Casa Lane with the sorry excuse for a dress, which Jane insisted upon inflicting on Daria a second time. She stood in the center of Jane's room while the taller girl inserted pins and took measurements, all the time snapping pictures and muttering about how 'hot' Daria would look when it was done. 'Trust me on this, amiga,' Jane muttered around a mouthful of pins. 'No one's even going to think about your cousin once you step out there.'"


• Season to Season (Write-off Challenge 9, Round 3), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'The divorce has been final for the last two months.' He swirled his drink moodily. 'Guess I forgot to tell you.' Alison winced at the news, gestured to Li to set out a bowl of pretzels and took another sip of her drink. 'I'm sorry, Wind.' He shrugged, despondent. 'You're still wearing your ring.' He raised his hand, dull surprise lighting his eyes when he realized she was right. 'Oh. Habit, I guess.' Frowning, he pulled the wedding band from his finger and dropped it into Li's tip jar."


• Sick, Sad North, by Temppeli (part 1): "They arrived at the school yard. Between the parking lot and the front door lied a cosy little lawn yard, splitted by the pavement. School itself was huge, three-storey concrete building straight from the 60's, and gave a clear sign that it was a public building. Low pitched roof, steady lines of windows and huge signboard on the bare end wall revealed the name of the school: 'ALANUMMEN LUKIO'"


• Something Like Regret, by thatLONERchick: "It was spring in Lawndale, mid-May and fair as a new pearl. Sun shone down on manicured lawns, winked cheerfully at pedestrians and smiled benevolently down on the world. Those fortunate enough to be out and about on this day relished the feel of warmth while Daria Morgendorffer watched from her fourth floor window, pallid face untouched by either sun or emotion." (Part 2)


• Sometimes I Call Just To Hear Your Voice, by ninetwelve (COMPLETE!): "She pressed 'Send' on her cellphone again. The digital ring sounded out , an electronic mimicry of long since defunct technology. She watched the smoke billow past her window, twenty stories above the sidewalks of New York. After three rings she heard the familiar sterile voice. 'Hello. You've reached Daria Morgendorffer. Please leave a message.'"


• Tridecadal, by RLobinske (part 2): "Seated in a comfortable chair in her aunt's office at Tennyson University, Daria said, 'I know I haven't been stuck in adjunct hell as long as you were, but it's still frustrating. I feel like our lives are on permanent hold.' Amy Barksdale said, 'Don't worry, you're preaching to the choir. I keep arguing in the faculty senate for more tenure track positions and less reliance on adjuncts, but the bean counters over at admin keep winning out. Have you looked much outside of academia?'"


• Two Girls, a Guy and a Pizza Place, by TheExcellentS (part 1): "Daria tried the door handle, but to no avail. Locked. She looked up to find that the door sign read 'CLOSED'. Daria scratched her head. 'I should have read that first.' 'That's strange,' said an equally perplexed Jane, 'Pizza King is never closed on a Friday afternoon. Or any time really.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Trashfreak out), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Then, the thought that she had been trying to stay keep out of her mind rushed in like an opposing team's linebacker going after Kevin. What if Daria is pregnant? Maybe that's why Daria was so insistant on having me stay this over this weekend. Daria would have told me if she and Tom 'did the deed'. I know it would have been awkward for both of us, but she would have, right? Better get back inside before Mrs. M suspects something."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Seven a.m., waking up in the morning / Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs / See Mom and Dad fighting again / Mom’s calling dad a dead-beat drunk / Dad’s saying Mom’s a stupid Whore."


• Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (parts 5 - 8): "(Trent’s room. Trent walks in and looks disappointed to find the room empty. A CD case on the bed catches his eye and he picks it up.) TRENT: Adele? (He notices a piece of paper taped to the back of the case. It simply reads “Track 10” Shrugging, he tosses it into his stereo and finds the desired track.)" (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• What is the Worst That Could Happen... (Iron Chef: Murphy's Law), by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "'Sorry kidd-o ... what happened to you!?' Jake asked puzzled at her glasses. 'I have realized I am a reincarnation of Davy Jones and must go find my treasure' said Daria. 'School first, then treasure young lady.' Hellen chimed in putting in her earrings."


• Winter Interludes, by Chris Tucker: "'Philistines! Alright, here it is, the project that got yours truly an A+ from a very stingy grader of a teacher.' With a grand flourish, she swept the cloth from the large painting. Daria snapped the picture the instant Connie realized that the painting was of her."