Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Rrrrawr!


Today is the anniversary of the birth of Jayne Mansfield, born in 1933. Quinn is posing as the well-endowed movie star/Playboy centerfold on the left. If the canon Quinn looks anything like this alter ego under her baby-doll T-shirt, then it's no mystery whatsoever why the three Js were so devoted!

For those of you actually reading this and not staring in rapture at the picture, here's the latest fanfic:

  • Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The football team exams scores were in and for the first time in several years, none of the team would be starting the year on academic probation. Coach Smith and Ms. Li congratulated him on a job well done. Dorian walked out of the office with a Mona Lisa smile of satisfaction on his face. Good job, Dorian. Thanks.."

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (foreword and part 1): "Daria, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Da-ree-a: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Da. Ree. A. She was Da, plain Da, in the morning, standing five feet two in one combat boot. She was Dar in an orange skirt. She was D. at school. She was Daria Morgendorffer on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Daria." (Part 1)

  • A Devil Strikes (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by Grifter74 (COMPLETE!): "Trennt woke up lying on the stage of McGrundys with a surge of anger. He had gone to sleep in his room after putting Janey into her proper place, and the fear of him into her friend. Getting to his feet, Trennt yelled, 'Who ever did this better run. Because when I find you, I'm going to beat you black and blue.'"

  • Die, Dude, Die (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "He flicked the butt out towards the lawn and turned to go back into the house when he noticed a shadow moving on the wall. It took him a moment to realize that it was his own shadow, and a moment longer to process that he shouldn't see his shadow at 1 AM. He turned slowly, and saw a ball of blue light hovering in the yard. He watched as it grew slowly, until it suddenly flared brightly and settled into a circular ball of light, surrounding a ring so black it hurt to look at it."

  • The Girl In Question, by Silver: "She picked up the file again. There wasn't a lot; most of the pages could have simply been dipped in black ink for all the spots blacked out. From what there was, she'd learned a bit about Project Origin. 'Psychic supersoliders? Right. Not real.'"

  • God Save The Esteem ep 26: Quaran-Tommed, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'So, Tom...' 'So, Tristan.' 'How easy is that girl?' Then: 'OW!' 'Sorry, my foot slipped.' 'You crossed the room!' 'It was a big slip.'" (Part 4)

  • LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (parts 6 and 7): "'Good idea, I'll be able to charge you with assaulting a superior enlisted, and you'll be dishonourably out.' Tiffany stopped, knowing he was right. She wasn't planning to merely slug him. She was planning to kill him. That would Get her at least life in the Well." (Part 7)

  • My Best Friend, by Smijey: "'I've...I've been trying, Daria, God knows I have. I took you camping, and I do the same damned thing the Old Man did. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me.' 'I...I don't hate you, dad. I...l-love you.' I stumbled over the word, but I managed to say it. He started to cry again. 'You deserve better!' he quietly moaned. 'You deserve better!' I thought of Jane. 'Dad, I could do a lot worse than you. I'm...I'm glad I have you.'" (New part) (Newer part)

  • Not So Different 1: A Friend In Hell Is A Friend Indeed, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'I thought I could see whatever I wanted in the picture', Sonny lied. 'That's a different test, Sonny. In this one I want you to tell a story, like I said.' 'Oh, I see. So this isn't like a version of the Rorschach test. It's more like a version of the Thematic Apperception Test. Okay, it's a picture of a boy and a girl talking—about a knight in shining armour rescuing a beautiful princess from a dragon.'"

  • Not So Different 2: Candour, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny scratched behind his ear. I'm not going to talk her out of this idea. So what do I want? Run the risk of being beaten up for nosing around his girlfriend, or run the risk of being beaten up for refusing to help his girlfriend? Given that there's nothing at stake here that matters to me ... He cleared his throat. 'I tell you what, Brittany. I'll help you on two conditions. One, you say nothing of any kind to Kevin about me. Two, this is the only time ever.'"

  • Not So Different 3: Future So Dark, Got To Wear Shades, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Can I bask in your reflected glory?' Jane continued. 'Only if it doesn't bother you that the glory is actually reflected from Quinn. She was the one who let the frat boys choose her as their Keg Queen without mentioning that she was under-age. But she's happy for the credit for our expulsion to go to me.' 'Is there no end to that girl's selflessness? Maybe you should tell me the whole story.'"

  • One Dead Lane Deserves Another, by Ixmythot (COMPLETE!): "Daria frowned, This was not the Trent she, or rather her original self had known. His face was all wrong, marred with the creases and lines of one who did nothing but torment and abuse everyone in their path, regardless of who they were. Her frown increased even further as her gaze ran down his body. Muscles where they were not before, the body of one who did not use the strength they were given to protect, or save, but to instead inflict harm upon. Even she, with her undying hatred of Ironheade and all they stood for, despised such 'people'."

  • Promises, by LadieT (part 16): "'I want to fall apart, but I know I can't. Amy and Dr. Phillips told me about, about ...' Quinn fought to keep the tears from falling. Quinn looked up at the group, 'Does this mean we're a family again? Because I really need all of you right now.'"

  • Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 8): "Tall, dark, and handsome, the way she liked them, with a glimmer of intelligence in his green eyes, even more her style. His obviously customized and well-tailored black suit was icing on the cake. While he a full head of brown hair, his temples were starting to gray already. He couldn't have been much older than Kim herself, in his early 30's, but he looked older. That wasn't necessarily bad for men, but the years must not have been kind to him. 'Hello, Mr. Sloane.' Jeffy nodded respectfully."

  • Rude Awakening Episode 3: Drive, by DIsaac (parts 3 and 4): "SANDI: Wow! I am so glad to have friends that are a bunch of brains because they get the money. DARIA: Tru dat, sister! You've got enough brains to hang with us as well. Welcome to the club. SANDI: It's good to be in it." (Part 4)

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "At first, she thought they were produced and directed by a naggingly familiar nemesis fond of his stagecraft and intoxicated with the sense of his own personal genius. For someone like that, Upchuck would be a suitable tin toy vehicle. But, no, the weighty sensation of Orson Welles' presence was not there. To deal with this would require both high order thought and extra cheese pizza."

  • Screams of Silence (now on SFMB), by Jim North: "I come to in a small room dimly lit by the fluorescent bulbs overhead. Next to me are a rolling tray and a plastic and metal chair, like from a cheap hospital waiting room. I'm on a cot and my left wrist is handcuffed to a handicap bar running along the wall. I'm somewhat concerned."

  • Selling Virgins, by ninetwelve (COMPLETE!): "It doesn't happen like that. There was no box. There was nothing left to put in a box. Just a well dressed man presenting someone's kid sister with a trifolded flag. And then the tears. I gave up then. Became a cog. A worker bee. I got a regular job. Retail. Selling pornography. I was the kinda indie, kinda quirky, porn-store chick with enough in the way of tits to get leered at and enough in the way of wits to get a reputation."

  • The Seventh (Squared) Circle of Hell (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "DeMartino: 'The following.. ha ha... CONTEST is a 67-on-1 HANDICAP MATCH scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing FIRST, already in the ring... actually... this quote MAN end quote doesn't DESERVE an introduction!'"

  • Something Like Regret, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Promise me that this isn't the end.' She gripped her love's hand with desperate strength, and Daria squeezed back just as hard. 'Promise me we'll meet again, in the next life, and we'll be together.' She swallowed, and her dry throat clicked. 'Forever, this time.' Daria kissed Jane's hand, then her cheek, and finally her lips. 'I promise, Jane. I'll find you again, if you don't find me first.'"

  • Study Lesson (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "Trennt woke up on the table in the kitchen. As he tried to sit up he couldn't. His head spun as he was his vision was starting to return. He had felt this before when he tested the rufies on himself. He wanted see how long it would work and to see if he could get high off of it. He felt his hands and feet tied to the table at the joints and his torso. He felt a sharp pull at his hair as he tried to move his head in vain."

  • Transmission (LLH Mini), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I still don't get it,' Nathan said. 'I mean, being a Soviet Terminator from another universe, I get that. But the magic ninjas? The talking dog? Man, I just read the lines I'm paid to read but I'm getting the feeling that there's a big backstory. Is there some kind of prequel?'"

  • Tridecadal, by RLobinske (parts 3 and 4): "'Maoraor!' Bump greeted Daria at the front door. She placed her satchel on the floor and squatted to pet the cat. 'Your dedicated servant is home after earning adequate funds to properly supply you with your daily sustenance.'" (Part 4)

  • Two Girls, a Guy and a Pizza Place, by TheExcellentS (part 3): "For the next half an hour or so, Daria and Jane read through the book, getting all the basic recipes memorised in their brains. 'Well what do you know," Daria said to Jane with a grin as she turned to the sauces page, "The secret ingredient in the Marinara sauce actually was a quart of grease.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "Kevin stood on the sidewalk unsure. He really wanted to see Jane, but he didn't want to see her brother. What if he was still mad like Jane? He looked pretty buff for a skinny dude, and could probably kick Kevin's butt to Oakwood and back. Sighing, Kevin started to turn away.... Until he heard a sound..."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "He was abruptly distracted by a can rolling up to his feet, nearly tripping him. He growled. 'Damn junk.' Even in the dim light of the night street lamps, he saw a slip of mustard yellow in the can, and, struck by a sudden curiosity, bent down and picked it up carefully between two fingers. His eyes narrowed in confusion; it was a blank, yellow business card."

  • Unnamed story (IRON CHEF: Trennt Lane Part 2: The Redemption), by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "Trennt flopped on to the couch after his band practice still high off of LSD. He started flipping thru the channels and saw nothing that caught his eye. He started the DVD that was in the player as the machine came to life and began watching."

  • Unnamed story (IRON CHEF: Trennt Lane Part 2: The Redemption), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Trennt, what the **** is wrong with you?' He roared and crossed the room, arm raised to strike her, but he froze at the last second. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror: hand raised to hit a girl, face contorted in rage. His eyes locked on the eyes of his reflection, and he heard a distant echo of his conversation with Jesse from last night."

  • Unnamed story (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 1), by Shull Bitter: "That was all it took. He had a friend, and it was a girl. He didn't hit on her though. After all, she was clearly a geek girl—any girl on the internet could be assumed to be quite a geek, and that usually included bad hair, skin, and body image issues. While he still thought brains were hot—hello, look at his defense of Scully for her brain, and not curvaceous bod—he knew that sometimes delicate flowers needed gentle prodding to blossom, and forcing them open could lead to them shriveling and dying."

  • Worldburner: Amelia is Utterly Screwed, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Calm down, she told herself. I have to reach New Sierra at some point. It will all be okay. Nothing's going to happen... ---- 'LET THE WORD GO THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE!' Judith declared. 'AMELIA MUST DIE!!'"

  • Worldburner: They Were Nine, by Erin M. (part 6): "He pulled the hood away from his head, causing Angela to suck in a breath sharply as the familiar features of Timothy O'Neill came into view. He grinned at her, not unkindly, which somehow made the experience all the more terrifying. 'I know it's hard to accept that your entire existence is a a sick twisted perversion of how things are supposed to be, but it is the truth. And deviation must not be allowed to exist. So, I'm sorry, Angela, but I promise I'll make it--'"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amelia sure seems happy that she's going to die!

- Charles RB

The Kristen Bealer Guy said...

Amelia sure seems happy that she's going to die!

Whatever ends the suffering, right? :D