Gimme an "H"! Gimme an "E"! Gimme...Um....

Today is World Health Day, and Brittany is here to help you celebrate with a full medical checkup. Never mind what she's planning to do with that scalpel, okay?

New Fanfic!

• Daria Meets Mr. T, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Mr. T sat at the table the Mall of the Millennium had set up for him, signing autographs with a bored expression on his face. He heard a commotion from farther back in the line, but paid it no heed until a wild-eyed teenager with auburn hair and round, thick glasses shoved her way through to the front of the line. 'Oh my God it's Mr. T I never thought I'd actually get to meet you,' she gushed out, flagrantly disregarding punctuation."


• Don't Look Back (Long Story Challenge #2), by thatLONERchick (part 2): "A pair of bright white headlights cut through the darkness, and Penny turned her head to see they were bearing down on her. It took a long moment to realize she was standing in a road, and the headlights pertained to a car that was moments away from running her over. There was a spray of water and a squealing of tires. Penny found herself on her back, cold rain driving into her face. A moment later, the pain set in."


• Erinnerung (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Ranchoth (COMPLETE!): "Actually, you could say the operation had gone very well. Very very well. Wildly out of control well. Well enough to set up opportunities for exploitation of an anarchic post-bellum environment in the subcontinental region...yes, that was what she'd probably call it. At her court martial. If there were enough bosses left to call one."


• Eternal Return and Other Theories, by Stripey (part 2): "Jake and Helen turned to face the doorway and yelled 'Quinn' in perfect synchronization. Daria was certain she would have found it amusing on a less stressful day. Her sister obligingly walked into the room and let their parents coo over her and the baby. Jake was preoccupied making faces and funny noises at Davy while Helen shot off rapid-fire questions. Daria was left standing awkwardly in the doorway, completely unacknowledged. "


• High, High My Darling (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the height of the car and wondered how well she would fit inside. She sighed again and said, 'Oh well. Anything for Jane.' She opened the door and lowered her head so she could get in. It was a tight fit and when she sat up her head bumped against the torn headliner of the ceiling. She just could not get comfortable in Tom's car no matter how she sat."


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (part 3): "'Quinn, Jodie, I'd concur, he's slick, but I'm not convinced he'd have waited this long if he really wanted to do this, he'd also get fired if he got caught. Correction, fired AT.' 'Well, we could suggest an investigation and see if he appears in any obituaries,' replied Quinn. 'Yeah, but I think we need to consider additional suspects,' said Jodie. 'Like who?' asked Quinn. 'Good question,' said Jodie."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (parts 4 and 5): "Kevin felt consciousness return once again, and could make out voices around him this time, even if the words still meant nothing. He could feel something in each of his hands. Soft, holding tightly. He tried to squeeze whatever they were, but all he could do was wiggle his fingers slightly. Exhausted by the effort, he drifted back to sleep." (Part 5)


• My Best Friend, by Smijey (part 1): "My first indication that something was really, really wrong was that afternoon, at her house. We were quickly bonding over a shared love of Sick, Sad World and pizza when her brother came into the room. She had her back turned to the door, so didn't see him come in. 'Hey, Janey,' he said, grabbing her shoulders and proceeding to give her an impromptu massage. 'Who's your new friend?'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 14): "Jane set up a canvas for herself and Cleo. Jake joined them, leaving Daria alone in the kitchen with Helen. As they sat across from each other, Helen could see all the doubt, fear, and pain in her eldest daughter's eyes. Daria was zoned out, when Helen began to speak, until two words snapped Daria back into the moment."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 4): "Kim seemed to ignore what Diane was saying, and focused more on the footprints. She spread herself out to try and follow the prints. She found herself being led to the man's footprints already catalogued, which lead them to the tree Stacy had been lying underneath. 'Are these related? Two killers, a man with size at least 11 shoes and a woman in heels and possibly lacking the common sense not to wear them to the woods?' Diane asked."


• Rude Awakening Episode 2: "I'm The Boss!", by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: Are you still thinking Dani is up to something? STACY: I know her. When she says she's up to something; then she's up to something. DANI: Stacy, I talked to you already I am doing NOTHING! STACY: See Daria, Jane, She's up to something." (Part 5)


• Tridecadal, by RLobinske (part 1): "Seated on the sofa in their Virginia apartment, Michael Fulton watched is wife, Daria Morgendorffer, place a plate of sushi-grade tuna on the floor in front of a black cat with a white nose and forepaws. He said, 'I'm glad you didn't ask me to wear that costume again.' Ignoring her husband for the moment, Daria said, 'Happy tenth adoption day, Bump.'"


• Trust Us, We're Professionals (Iron Chef: Fashion Club?), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "My name is Quinn Morgendorffer and I'm a killer. Nine out of ten people think that I jest when I tell them that, but what should I do? Lie to them? No, I don't like to lie to people outside of Job assignments, so I tell them. The tenth person by the way becomes angry and wants to hit me or something."


• Two Girls, One Financial Institution, by Smijey (part 1): "'Really?' Jodie's eyebrows went up in surprise. 'That's great news, Daria! As a matter of fact, I'm getting into the banking business myself...You're looking at the owner of the new Lawndale Credit Union!' Her smile was almost bright enough to read a book at the dead of night."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Fashion Club?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Listen,' Sandi said, 'do you play basketball?' Quinn thought about it. 'What, you mean that sport with the five sweaty guys and the little orange ball?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Trashfreak out), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, Tom and I never did anything, remember?' 'What about you and Nathan?' Jane asked with a smirk. 'Me and..? I swear, you steal one boyfriend and they never let you live it down,' Daria muttered."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The Self-Defence Force was being overrun by the Gyaos, and it was clear nothing could save Tokyo."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria returned home from school, stooping as she walked up stairs. Her normal slouch allowed her plenty of clearance with the ceiling, but it was reflexive to duck in confined spaces. She dropped her bag on her bed and went back downstairs, watching her footing carefully so her size 15 boots wouldn't slip and send her falling down the stairs again. Once outside, she remained slouched over as she walked towards Jane's house. She had met the girl in Self Esteem Class, attendence in which was her punishment for not joining the girl's basketball team."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Ah, time for a little maxin' and relaxin'!' Kevin told himself as he leaned back against the lockers. It momentarily flitted through his mind that he might should worry about the fact that he was probably in somebody's way, but the thought was quickly chased off by mental images of puppies doing adorable things."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Just don't be surprised if it takes the other kids a little while to warm . . . up . . . to . . . you?' Jake trailed off as he looked out at the students milling around in front of the school. Quinn stared out the window with her mouth hanging open in unabashed shock, while Daria merely uttered a low 'huh' of mild surprise."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "As Daria and Jane watched, horrified, several men and women in unmarked black clothing and masks came pouring through, quickly securing the area and tagging teenagers with stun darts. 'What the hell are they doing?!' Jane asked, stunned. 'They shouldn't be out in the open like this! What-'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'Link, please---we can talk about this, okay?' Mr. O'Neill called, panic ruining his attempt to sound soothing. 'Whatever problems you have, we can just discuss it calmly and---' 'I don't want to talk with you about anything!' Link snapped, leaning down lower over the edge and glaring down at him. 'I'd rather jump than talk about anything with you, you---wh-whoa!'"


• Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (parts 2 - 4): "DARIA: You should really learn to knock. TRENT (shrugging): Knocking's not really a big thing here. DARIA: What if you had walked in while I was changing? TRENT (grinning broadly): Then you'd have murdered the happiest man on Earth." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Worldburner: Generic Strikes!, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Which, obviously, hasn't had much effect on Lawndale or any related persons thereof. There's a third Morgendorffer sister, Jane is a boy, Tiffany is also a boy, and Kevin has actually read a book, but none of these changes have anything to do with the other one. Anyway, all this became academic when Judith struck, launching her attack with the systematic destruction of famous and iconic monuments."


• Worldburner: The Long Good Sandi II, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The yellow light shone throughout creation and everyone stopped speaking, talking slack-jawed and stunned. Reality split open in an obscene impossibility as two men in yellow robes appeared from a crack in space. Daria continued to chew on the roll, looking at the others in the room. 'Your world – your reality – is forfeit.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)