Monday, April 4, 2011


On this day in 1818, the current-ish design for the American flag (13 stripes for the 13 original colonies and one star for each state) was approved by Congress. At the time there were 20 stars for 20 states, but apparently there have been a couple more added since then.

Someone should probably help Tiffany with the one she's working on, though. Never mind getting the number of stars and stripes right; we'll be lucky if she doesn't decide to redo the whole thing in something more fashionable, like pastel colors or pictures of Hello Kitty or something.

While somebody explains to Tiffany why that flag doesn't make her look fat, I'm going to post the latest fanfic update.
  • Awakening, by Chris Tucker (part 8): "If there was one rule for Pizza and Bad Movie Night at Jane's dorm room, it was that serious personal matters were not discussed once the movie started. It was snark, sarcasm and popcorn tossed at the screen. Tonight's film, 'The Creeping Terror'. A film none of the girls had ever seen before. The DVD had ended. Someone had turned off the DVD Player app on Jane's Macintosh. The three girls were stunned."

  • Beavis and Butt-head Do Daria, by Smijey: "One of the students, a girl with her hair in pigtails, approached. 'Hi! You're cool. What's your name?' she asked. 'Quinn Morgendorffer.' 'Cool name,' said another girl standing next to the first. 'Uh, hey baby,' Butt-head said, having already gotten out of the car. Jake watched expectantly as Butt-head and one of Quinn's new friends conversed. He winced as the expected slap came, sighed, and put the car into drive."

  • Behind the Iron Curtain, by Temppeli (part 3): "Darya entered the store. It was small, and had surprisingly good selection of art supplies. She wandered to the cash counter, and said. 'Gorbachev bought red roses.' 'And Reagan bought pralines,' smiled the female cashier, and continued, 'Follow me.'"

  • Crazy Punk-Self-Insert Two and a half, by Wassersauefer: "The funny thing about fanfiction is, that you don't really know how much time the story takes. In-game... or is it called in-fiction in this case? I don't know, I'm confused. Either way is it a bit confusing, especially if you're living in a fanfic. Thanks again Charles, but seriously, Death Rowe tripling on a jock is in real life not as funny as when reading it. Don't even know why it was funny the first time. Perhaps because nobody even knew what tripling is. Now I do. I wish I didn't."

  • Cynical Yours, by peapotmaster (part 1): "'Who said that?' Daria asked. 'I don't see anyone,' said Jane. 'Down here, assholes!' the voice belonged to a gray squirrel, who is eating a bagel with cream cheese. 'The name's Foamy the Squirrel, sluts. Welcome to my world, stupid humans.'"

  • Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (part 4): "Monday arrived and as Jane was met by a flurry of compliments. Kevin even called her a 'babe', which made Brittany smack him in the middle of the hallway. Right before lunch, Sandi remarked at how good it looked and complementing her on spending a lot of money on professional grooming assistance. When Quinn told her that Stacy was the one who had done Jane's hair, all Sandi huffed and called it a sub-standard job. Dorian and Jane watched as Stacy's head and shoulders slumped."

  • Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 2): "Scarlett: 'Ah yes... the posers... They are blinded by the allure of faux celebrity, seeking glory not for love of the sport, but for mere fame and fortune. Now I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, because that's something that Andrea is so much better at, but to step out of the shadows of darkness, and grab the glittering prize the end of the road, you need to want it for more than just getting a shortcut to the real Hollywood a-list. You need to want it on all levels of your being. Every bone in your body, every reach of your mind, every part of your soul needs to be focused on success. And then, when you finally reach a personal nirvana, you will realise... that you still have to go through us.'"

  • A Friend's Work - A Sequel ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Judith stood high above the city lights as yet another place fell to the Chaos that she allowed. Still, it wasn't long before NegaJane interrupted her view. 'Lynn's latest piece of "art" is ready. Care to see?' asked N.J. 'I suppose. Explosions can only entertain for so long.' pelied Judith."

  • God Save The Esteem ep25: Exam Nation, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Tommy Sherman says we did the best we could... well, best I can be assed to do, so let's just leave 'em and-' 'I will not have the sports teams decimated. I will NOT. Sports will prevail. I will MAKE IT PREVAIL. I come from a bloodline of sportsmen and my family WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF ME AGA-' She cut herself off, realising she was in a corridor and not coming fourth-last in a sports day. 'You didn't hear that.'" (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • It's All In the Delivery (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "The emcee took the microphone from the comic and began his introduction. 'Ladies and gentlemen, our next performer is originally from the DC area, but don't hold that against him. He's been featured at the Wacky Shack, Boingtastic, the Texas Laugh Depository and Yucks Incorporated. Now please give a warm round of applause to... Luhrman!'"

  • I Was Framed (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer: "When Daria stepped into the office she had the urge to sigh. It looked like any other office she had been in before, at least on the first glance. Gray walls, big writing desk ,and a throne-like chair behind it, some pictures on the desk and a single computer monitor on the right. What was different was the big array of monitors on the left wall, showing different scenes from all over the building."

  • John Lane 49: Acceptances, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Inside the house, Jodie found her parents in the den, both reading. Her stomach twisted and she felt like the blood was draining from her face. Neither parent looked up from their magazines while Jodie fought her internal battle. After taking a step back, she whispered, 'No,' and stepped forward to the center of the room. 'Mom, Dad, we need to talk about something.'"

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Ms Li wasn't in her office?' Stacy asked. 'No, her office was a mess, and she was nowhere to be found,' Jane said. 'Sand-di did wish thaaat the stuff in theeere would break,' Tiffany said. 'Oh, yeah,' Stacy said. Daria looked at Tiffany. 'Whaaat? I do take notice sometimes,' Tiffany said."

  • Life In Eight Lines (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Meanwhile, across town, Quinn's best friend from high school, Stacy Rowe was on a date with Ted DeWitt Clinton. The two had just left the movies, when some one pointed a gun at them and demanded their money. Stacy rushed to pull the money out of her purse. Ted refused and proceeded to try to disarm the robber. In the insuing struggle, the gun went off and Stacy collapsed to the ground."

  • LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (parts 1 and 2): "'I think she'd rather modify her training to get back to maximum effectiveness,' said Stacy, 'also, you need to get a life, when was the last time you painted a picture or forged a sculpture or something?' 'The Legion is my life,' said Jane. 'That's ... ... admirable,' said Stacy, 'look, sometimes you need to take time off and do something different, or you go insane, I mean, we're all Legionnaires, and we all have something, I race in motorbike rallies, Jodie runs that CSI continent in Second Life, Brittany seems to be getting the hang of that basic First Aid course.'" (Part 2)

  • Lost and Found (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The struggles with withdrawal, the pain she felt as her body fought to get rid of the poison she had been feeding it with - just thinking about it made Jane shudder. Then there was the facing of the fact that she had thrown everything she had ever cared about away. Her art, Daria, Trent - she had tossed them in the garbage because she loved the heroin more. Hell, she was surprised she wasn't in some numbered coffin in a Potter's field somewhere. Jane watched as the tears rolling down her cheeks hit the floor between her feet."

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Part 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (parts 1 - 3): "At dinner, Helen broached the subject with her usual finesse. 'Daria, I heard you're working with Kevin Thompson on a science project. He's quarterback of the football team, isn't he?' Quinn wilted almost instantly under Daria's death glare. 'Brittany was sobbing in the bathroom!' 'Tell me all about your project, Daria,' Helen said softly, trying to defuse the moment. 'I have to force a mild mannered, simple-minded creature to bend to my will. Also something about a mouse.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Melody Powers' Last Stand (Iron Chef: April Fools!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane put down the thousand-page manuscript. After reading the first page, she had randomly flipped to one of the pages towards the middle. Disgusted by what she read there, she checked out several more pages throughout the story, and each was more revolting than the last. Setting down the most disturbing piece of erotica she had ever read, she looked at the other object that was in the shoebox hidden at the back of Daria's closet."

  • Moments in Life (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "In Boston, Daria Morgendorffer walked down the street to a non-descript apartment building on the outskirts of town. Checking to see if she had been followed, she went up the stairs to apartment 3-J. She entered and closed the door behind her. Turning, she saw a man lounging on the couch. 'You're late,' he said, a smile in his deep voice."

  • A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 20): "Taken aback, Jane blinked and blurted, 'What's gotten into you? Next you'll tell me you're going out with him.' Daria's insides froze. If she thought she had hidden her shock at hearing what she'd come to tell, Jane's next words disabused her. 'You are going out with him,' she breathed in an awed tone usually reserved informing supervillains of their madness."

  • Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by untra (COMPLETE!): "Kevin gave the customer a goofy smile and he punched in the final buttons on the cash register. 'That will be $33.87, maam. Thank you for shopping at Quickmart, have a nice day!' Good, good. You're definitely on your way to a promotion Kevin. Just keep working hard and think good thoughts. Once you get that promotion, you can get your own apartment. You're living the dream, kid!"

  • Promises, by LadieT (part 13): "When dinner was over, Helen, Jake, and Trent volunteered for clean up duty while the former Lawndale High students gathered in the living room and told their favorite Jeff stories. Several of them included Quinn, of course, which kept Cleo quite fascinated. Her mom and dad had told her a couple of stories, like what happened with a squirrel, and something about a play at school - but these were new stories. Each story was followed by laughter, and occasionnally a tear or two would fall."

  • Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 3, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "Bubbles just smiled. 'I can't tell you how you'll feel. There's a passage I love in one of Robbie's books, though, that explains exactly how you'll change. 'The two of you start talking about your feelings and your feelings float outside of you like vapors, and they mix together like a fog. Before you realize it, the two of you have become the same mist and you realize you can never return to being just a lone cloud again, because the isolation would be intolerable.''"

  • Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'I'll move my car out of the driveway,' Jennifer said. 'No need, I can drive on the lawn,' Trent said. 'No, Trent, remember the last time you tried that? You almost hit the scupture, and the mailbox, and almost crashed into the house!' Jane said."

  • Recruitment - A 'Worldburner' Mini-Series, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Typing out a number of commands, Richard smiled as a single purple light blinked rapidly for three seconds. 'We have alignment.' Thirty seconds later, a portal of glowing white energies, rippling like the watery portal generated by 'sliding portals', appeared on the other side of the office. 'Nice effects, Archangel,' Richard yawned. 'Would you mind telling me why you felt the need to sneak in through the back door – and why you felt the need for me to put a 'temporal lock' in place around the office?”'" (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4a) (Part 4b) (Part 5a) (Part 5b) (Part 5c) (Part 6) (Part 7a) (Part 7b) (Part 7c)

  • Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 1 - 3): "She was going alone. Neither Jonathan nor Kim herself would ever justify the need for a partner on this case. One was sufficient enough, any more on a case this small would could cause...offense on the part of the local police. They may be untried on such a case, but they were not incompetent, and no overtures on the part of the FBI should insinuate otherwise." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Rock and Rule (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Judith whipped out the guitar as if from nowhere and the sonic blast threw Jim across the street. She chuckled, turned, and then fell as a sonic boom hit her - somehow, from somewhere, he'd gained his own. She snarled. 'Oh, looks like someone wants to get funky. Sorry to say, Jimbo, but I like to stack the deck.'"

  • Rude Awakening: Episode 1, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: I appreciate it. If you want to talk to me, just call. SANDI: (Back in her office): Talk to you later, (Joking this time and smiling) Quinn's cousin. JANE: Sound like she hasn't change at all. DARIA: She changed and we will as well. "

  • Rude Awakening Episode 2: "I'm the Boss", by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "JODIE: After nailing down that Channel 5 Deal with WHUB that we been trying to nail down for a decade, Turning around a station that was a sinking stone by redoing the play list, growing the rating with said play list and putting the station in the top 5 in the market for the first time in the long time. That doesn't sound like a Musical Director to me. DARIA: (Interested): What does that sound like to you? JODIE: (matter of fact) My new Programming Director! Daria Morgendorffer, would like to accept this offer of a new position with WHUB?" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Sad to say, there always seems to be a large number of devious opportunists on alert for just such circumstances. So, naturally, this girl's misfortune was noticed and they moved in and took over. In short, they did a dreamjacking and she's become a dream puppet. Our job now is to carefully disconnect the strings...' She was interrupted by Tiffany moaning in her sleep while making slow fluidic swimming motions: 'Do these manatees make me look faaaaattt?'"

  • Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I've never been that furious before. Never that . . . vicious. I didn't just want to kill those harpies to let off some steam. I wanted to hurt them. I was ready to start torturing the second one I downed, and I don't condone torture, not under any circumstances. Not even these beasts deserve that. So what the hell was I thinking? What have I been thinking this entire time, even? Is it really this town pushing into my head, like David said? Making me paranoid and enraged? Making me think that inflicting pain on other creatures is a good idea?" (New part)

  • Sick Sad Photography (Long Story Challenge #2), by untra (part 2): "Suddenly a thought came to her. She blinked a few times and then gasped with surprise. 'What?!' Jane growled with frustration, but was answered with Quinn diving for the book bag. Quinn reached in through the sides and grabbed the inkjet pages, unraveling them and looking with great interest at the girl posing in the photos. 'Say "please" next time,' Jane sighed, looking down with annoyance at Quinn. 'What is it Scooby? You found a clue?'"

  • This One's For The Girls (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Rowe - this is your third victory so far and the season is still young. Do you think you have what it takes to be in the Chase at the end of the season?' One reporter asked. 'I think so - I'm a part of a good team and my crew chief is one of the best in the business - so not only do I expect to be in the chase - I plan on being number one when it's all said and done,' Stacy answered."

  • Trent-Foolery sequel (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "(Trent and Daria look towards the stairs in surprise. A bunch of thuds are heard and then Jane comes running down the stairs looking like she had a rough night. Her t-shirt is on inside out and her shorts are on backwards. One her feet are a tennis shoe and a sandal. She runs to Daria and grabs her by the arms.) JANE: How much did I drink last night?"

  • Try, Try Again (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "An hour later, after a trip to the drug store and another little stay in the bathroom, Daria punched numbers on the cordless phone and listened as it rang. 'Yo.' 'It happened again.'"

  • Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Noah, man,' Trent breathed, terrified as he walked amongst the marked chambers. 'What the hell have you done?' 'Exactly what I set out to do,' Noah Barkman replied. Trent pulled his lips back in a grimace, baring his teeth. 'Who are they?' he asked. 'I don't really see how that is of any consequ-' 'Who. Are they?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: April Fools!), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Dammit, Daria! I should know not to make bets with you by now!' 'Come on, Lane, fork over the ten-spot.' 'Yeah, yeah, here's your filthy lucre!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "She actually tried to keep it going. There were arguments; he wanted kids and she didn't. She figured he cheated - who didn't cheat these days? But when she found out that one of the women he was with had a child, all she could see is a future claim for child support on the horizon - she could never imagine De'Shaun being careful - and she called up Ashley-Amber, her ex-stepmother and life confidant."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked over her birthday cake with pride, the words Happy 30th written in green frosting. She had a good life, a job in fashion marketing a husband and four kids. Now shrouded by her family and friends she said. 'I couldn't imagine a better 30th birthday'"

  • Unnamed story (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Vitale had just entered his office when the punch knocked him to the floor. By the time he'd registered that, a steel bar was raining down on his jaw, his elbows, his spine, his knees - bones splintered and blood stained the carpet and he screamed from the pain and the humiliation until it finally, blessedly stopped."

  • The Unsocial Network (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Charles got close to the door and, as he was about to pull the handle, he saw his reflection in the glass. It startled him. He saw the same red hair, but there was a lot less of it now. His face was still youthful, but there were a few lines where he used to smile. The eyes of the person he saw in front of him were different than they used to be. They were tired, older than his age which was now thirty. This was the night of his thirtieth birthday and his dinner was done microwaving in front of him."

  • The Void (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Where are we?' questioned Judith. 'The void' answered an irritated Jim. 'How the hell did we end up here and why can't I gate away' in the real world that out burst of anger could have shaken building or shattered glass but here it was nothing. 'It happened because we were both in the same place at the same time, should an irresistible force ever meet immovable object the universe rather than be destroyed expels the deviants into the void the space between universes. Next time you go to kill one of your alternate selves make sure she isn't seeing her mother at my office.'"

  • Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (part 1): "DARIA: Don't ask. (Bt) Why don't you go find your boots while I kill your brother. JANE (grinning): Alright, but I'm determined to have you as a sister-in-law. I think Wind is single again... TRENT: Not even a serial killer deserves that Janey."

  • What the Fuck? (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer: "'I heard your girlfriend made some dollars on the side in a run-down strip club.' Some of the football players in blue, the ones from Polk High, chuckled. But instead of getting angry, Kevin Thompson just seemed confused. 'Um, no. That club is in rather good shape.' 'How do YOU know?' 'My father owns it.'"

  • Worldburner: The Red Sky Experiments, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Here's the thing: when you hop around as much as I have, you notice the same things keep happening over and over in the multiverse. Everyone can be a talking dinosaur or a universe under SkyNet control or a world where Ringo was a really good drummer, and you will still have the same few points where that reality and others attached to it can be altered. A number of them related to the green jacketed snot-nosed bitch. I could have chosen any, but come on, that kiss. I had to vape that one."

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