Giving "Trashy" a New Definition

Sandi has definitely had better days, but it's Global Garbage Man Day and Ms. Griffin would never do anything but dress for the occasion. As long as she can pawn off the messiest work onto Stacy, I'm sure she'll be okay.

I think she's still having a more pleasant day than Mr. O'Neill, though, because it's National Mascot Day and you just know he's being forced to wear that stifling Lawndale Lions costume again. Just remember to take the head off if you can't breathe!

Jake, on the other hand, is hopefully having a pleasant National Root Beer Day, especially if he can have one in a frosty cold can.

Fanfic Update!

• 15 Years On, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "Helen walked over to Matt and Naomi, who had been supervising a group of eleven would-be volunteer archeologists – eight undergraduates and three 'pay-to-play'."


• Dude, Where's my Life, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Quinn was on the phone with her husband. 'WHAT,' she exclaimed, 'Kevin let two barely legal skanks steal your car!? You've gotta be kidding me!'"


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Linda had felt Sandi’s search for Jane and thus knew what had happened when she opened the door to find Daria holding up her daughter."

99 Bottles of Jesse On the Wall, 99 Bottles of Jesse....

On one hand, Jesse's looking a little trapped on National Beer Day, because that's really not how the holiday is meant to be celebrated. On the other hand, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, so I guess we should just let him be.

I hope any beer-loving dads get to enjoy a nice cold one for Father’s Day, although I suspect Jake would prefer a martini. Or, depending on how the day has been going, a nice soothing glass of milk. Could someone else please warm it up for him, though?

Please, please, don't let Daria celebrate Smile Power Day. Given how creepy her smiles tend to be, I think she's completely right to only smile when she has a reason.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Brian Wilson.


• Discuss the Democratic lawmaker assassinated in Minnesota.

I Guess They're Superstitious

Daria and Jane are horrified to learn that today is Friday the 13th, but I wouldn't be so upset. After all, Friday the 13th is still a Friday, and that's a win right there!

However, Jake might want to stay out of the kitchen on this unlucky day, because it's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day and he's a menace when cooking at even the best times. All he needs is too much of a free hand with the pepper and his tongue will be black in no time.

At least Jane can take comfort in today being National Jane Day, so that should cancel out any bad luck she might have experienced. Just as long as she stays far away from any of Jake's cooking.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (part 23): "Dolly Frasier knew the right people, and knew that money talked. She had the invitations for the ceremony in hand before noon that Saturday morning."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 17): "Freya and Alexia came out of the lecture. 'So, what was that about an ancient manuscript, again?' Alexia asked."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "SpiderGirl re-entered the theater area and saw that it was still full of the green mist, she saw Peterson nearby, as well as three young men, including Trent, talking to her."

Anyone For a Luau?

Stacy is dancing the hula in honor of King Kamehameha I Day, a Hawaiian holiday that honors the first ruler of the Kingdom of Hawaii. I'm sure Aunt Amy would love to celebrate by going back to Hawaii for another vacation, but only if she can rub Helen's nose in it again.

I hope that the various Lawndale teens at least try to be nice to their younger siblings because it's also National Children’s Day! Then again, I'm not sure that bratty children like the Griffin boys and Brian Taylor are worth celebrating. Maybe Daria had a point about not liking kids, if those are any example of what the Lawndale children are like.

The episode "Prize Fighters" first aired on this day in 2001, and the competition was fierce! No, not the drama over Jodie, Upchuck, and Daria all fighting for the same scholarship. I mean the hot dog eating competition at the end. Mr. DeMartino was clearly in it to win it.

Fandom News!

• wingzero shared a disturbing police video.


• R.I.P., Sly Stone.

"If you get thrown off a horse, you have to get back up and shoot it, right?"

Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the day Secretariat won the Triple Crown in 1973, but I think we all wish they'd have chosen an activity that wasn't quite so creepy. Daria and Quinn in particular are most likely fleeing the house, searching for brain bleach, or both.

Let's just hope Helen and Jake don't find out that today is also National Sex Day, although whenever they have the house to themselves they don't usually need much of an excuse. I just hope Daria doesn't get caught up in any more middle-of-the-night misunderstandings, because I don't think Jake could handle the trauma a second time.

Finally, the episode "Pinch Sitter" first aired on this day in 1997. The word of the day is "indemnification," and I hope everyone enjoys this brainworm: "I am cool and that is it, and everyone else is full of, full of, full of--"

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 20 and 21): "It was a rather haggard-looking Daria who showed up for lunch Wednesday morning." (Part 21)

"Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling?"

I don't think Mack is enjoying National Chocolate Ice Cream Day very much, but that might just be because the bratty kids threw what appears to be strawberry ice cream at him instead of chocolate. Now, if he'd been hit with a scoop of Bro and QB's Firstdown Fudge, then I'm sure he'd have been all smiles.

Let's just hope that the ice cream he's selling has been inspected, because it's World Food Safety Day and no one wants food poisoning. Just ask Jake after his horrible experience at Tokyo Toby's!

Meanwhile, the Fashion Club may be interested to know that Beau Brummell was born on this day in 1778. As one of history's most famous fashion icons, his birthday should probably be something of a major holiday to fashionistas everywhere!

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Casper the Friendly Ghost and Slimer.

Who's the REAL Airhead Now?

It seems that Kevin and Brittany are going for a ride on Hot Air Balloon Day, but I wouldn't count on either of them knowing how to fly that thing or navigate, so that's probably the last we'll see of them for awhile. Jake, if he can overcome his fear of heights, could take Terry Barry Barlow up on his ballooning offer but I hope they make sure Arno comes with them.

Mrs. Bennett should know that today is the anniversary of the birth of both Adam Smith in 1723 and John Maynard Keynes in 1883. She could try to teach the class about both economists, but I suspect the lesson would only devolve into yet another incomprehensible diagram.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 6): "'What else are you doing this weekend, anyway?' Jane always knew the right way to needle Daria into doing something."


• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 16 and 17): "When the football season was finally wrapped up in early November, what passed for the social scene in Lawndale took a breather. However, that also meant that the end of the first trimester would be just over a week before the short Thanksgiving break." (Part 17)


• Dude, Where's My Life?, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Kevin and Brittany's twenty-year-old daughter, Angie Thompson, was driving to the Lawndale State campus in her 2021 Corvette, a sweet-sixteen present from Grandpa Steve. As she drove, she was deep in thought."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer: Kitting Out For Hogwarts, by Meester_Lee (part 41): "Harry’s and Daria’s acceptance letters for Hogwarts and Ilvermorny spurred a flurry of activity in the Morgendorffer household."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 4): "Daria woke up to Jane rubbing her eyes. 'Damn, did anyone have a rough night?' Jane said."


• Reflections, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Quinn awoke and opened her eyes. She took in the sight of the Lane’s guest room as she got out of the bed."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "It wasn’t long before Peterson arrived at the Historia. 'I knew you would be here, Daria,' she said after she had ordered breakfast herself."

A Bicycle Built for One...or Less

Daria is getting some fresh air and exercise for World Bicycle Day, which is all you need to know to realize that this is a dream sequence rather than something she'd actually do in real life. Perhaps Jake could try to purge some of his childhood demons by riding a bike of his own, but I sure hope someone comforts him if he falls and skins his knee again.

Instead of bike riding, Daria could read some more of "Howl" for the seniors at Better Days Nursing Home in honor of the anniversary of Allen Ginsberg's birth on this day in 1926. I think only Mrs. Blaine would enjoy the experience, however, because Beat poetry is pretty underappreciated there.

Everyone needs to brush up their echolalia because today is also Repeat Day! Everyone needs to brush up their echolalia because today is also Repeat Day!

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Loretta Swit.

Just Don't Cry Over It!

Jake's having an excellent World Milk Day, but I hope his arteries are prepared for the incoming cholesterol. At least he should be good and relaxed by then, assuming he doesn't spill any and accidentally set the house on fire.

If he takes too big of a drink and chokes, the good news is that it's National Heimlich Maneuver Day and rescue should be at hand! The bad news is that while Daria claims to know the Heimlich, in reality she only tried it once...on a non-choking Quinn.

On this day in 1997, The Washington Post published "Wither Daria: Meet The Teen Terminator," an overview of the show in the early days along with an interview with Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn. Among other things, we learn that Eichler expects Daria to become "a story editor of a cable show...who has a PhD in French literature." Sacré bleu!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 13 and 14): "Jane could tell Daria was in a foul mood the next Monday morning as they headed towards the school together." (Part 14)


• Heavenly Wine and Roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria knocks on Quinn's door frame. Quinn looks up from her fashion magazine and gives Daria a lopsided smile."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 7): "Buddy’s was as busy as any Bar and Grill in New York City during the lunch rush. A tall lady bartender with dark mahogany skin and hair in cornrows kept sparing a glance at the front door in between serving customers."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Jane blinked her eyes. She looked down at her hands. Her hands."