Trick or Treat!

Happy Halloween! Daria's suited up for the occasion, and let's hope she gets plenty of candy tonight. Anyone looking for some spooky reading material can check out this list of Halloween-related Daria fanfics. The list hasn't been updated recently, though, so please also mention your favorites in the comments!

Fanfic Update!

• Are You Afraid Of The Daria?, by peapotmaster (part 1): "I've seen many things in Lawndale ever since I've been here, but the strangest thing of all happened to me a few times over...Everyone was smiling at me. What the hell?"


• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 11): "A slender young man sat behind the desk in the dark. Rather, he had reclined behind it, and had put his feet upon it. An older man of impressive girth charged in and turned on the light. The young man barely blinked."


• Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 24): "Daria leaves the classroom as fast as she can. She couldn't handle another second of the screaming preteens."


• Lane Lane, by InvisibleDan (parts 1 - 3): "Daria looked at her cell phone and thought to herself, I've moved from Hell only to find myself in Purgatory." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 6): "Daria Morgendorffer, her father, Jake, and her step-mother, Phoebe, were gathered around the kitchen table. It was time for a serious conversation."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 25): "He'd settled his glasses on his nose when the office buzzer rang. Glancing at his watch in confusion, he checked himself in the mirror and opened the door. 'Linda,' he said, smiling broadly, 'good morning. Please, come in.'"


• Quinn Bobs Her Hair, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "After her parents had gone shopping and Quinn was off on her usual Friday evening dates Daria put her hastily but well thought out plan into its first phases. She called Jane. 'Jane, I thought of a great idea to solve my problems with Quinn's hair and teach her a lesson too.'"


• Quinn's Code 11: The Geek Hunter, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Now,' Sandi Griffin said to her Fashion Club. 'Let's find that Geek and cover her with paint!' 'Is that such a good idea, Sandi?' Tori Jericho asked. She was concerned that Sandi would go too far."


• RA Extra: We need to talk, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "SANDI: Stop! TOM: What is it? SANDI: That. TOM: What? SANDI: (Sandi Pointing to Tom's Costume) THAT! You wore that last year."


• Roadkill (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "'So what're we going to do now?' Mack asked. 'Pray, coat ourselves with barbeque sauce or resign ourselves to our fate and let Kevin play with the grenade box.' Daria snarked."


• Worth a thousand words (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer was not looking forward to the phone call she was about to make, but it was the biggest thing that had happened so far in her writing career and she had to be the one to break the news to those closest to her."

She's Aliiiiiive!

Jane's trying out yet another new look today because it's National Frankenstein Day. Instead of the Lady or the Tiger, I suppose today it's the Beauty or the Beast.

Today is also Hermit Day, so Quinn recommends that everyone "just hide in your room like a kermit!" Take that whichever way you like.

Fandom News!

• BloodyWilliam shares pictures from his summer vacation.


• What are your peeves about live music shows? Tell everyone about them in a new thread.


• Dervish has a question for the anime fans.


• Charles RB has found a real life band that's eerily similar to Mystik Spiral.


• Ask NightGoblyn your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.


• Princess_Pasta has an announcement about her artwork.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Daria's holding a special reading in honor of National Tell a Story Day, and the other girls seem to be really interested. I'm sure that has more to do with the choice of material than with Daria's soothing reading voice, but at least they're paying attention. Maybe if they're really good, she'll favor them with a couple of Melody Powers stories, as well!

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 10): "While Jesse didn't think he was back in New Mexico, he was unnerved by the landscape, and almost called Jim Vitale to make some excuse as to why he would not be at the Twister! Roadhouse near Fremont."


• DW: Legacy of the Doctor, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Susan is awake, writing on the floorboards. SFX: Dinosaur roars. Susan hears. She goes to the door. Susan: Not this way. It'd be boring."


• Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by (COMPLETE!): "Anthony rubbed his temples with frustration and disgust."


• Misfire (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Anthony: 'OW! Damn it!!' Claire: (sighing as she stitches Anthony's shoulder) 'Anthony if you keep moving I won't be able to stitch up your wound.'"


• New Beginnings (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "It was Saturday at the Alpha Delta Phi sorority house and that meant that there was a party brewing."


• Plans Tonight, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "I sit on the edge of the bathtub listening to the rythmic pounding on the door."


• The Siren (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "Daria's steely hate filled gaze was a promise of murder and mayhem as she stared holes into a card left for her by her mother Helen."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 18): "'Dr. Morgendorffer....' 'Yes, Hilda.' 'The results of the Ralston Brain Test on Mrs. Strassbyre are back from the lab.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Before Daria could figure out what Jane was talking about, she heard the sound 'woooooOOOOOoooo!!' like a freight train. Jane ran into the living room, waving her hands wildly around, and lept over the side of the couch, tackling Daria as she landed."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer lay in the mud near the small cabin. During the last 17 hours, she had to learn how to dig in, and she had already dig the small trench for herself."

Or You Could Have Some Frozen Lasagna Instead

Jake doesn't appear to be having much fun on World Pasta Day, but that may just be because the pesto is oxidizing. Trent, on the other hand, really hopes that there will be fettuccini bolognese. It's his favorite!

If pasta doesn't appeal to you, you could always celebrate National Greasy Foods Day instead. Stop off at Cluster Burger or just grab a slice at Pizza Prince. They really did add a quart of grease to the recipe, after all.

Whatever you have, eat plenty of it because today is also The Feast Day of St. Daria. Okay, it's not the same Daria. And that's not what they mean by "feast." But just roll with it, okay?

Fandom News!

• Staticblast warns about Avast Antivirus using adware. Post your thoughts and recommendations for antivirus software.


• psychotol wonders about sexism by osmosis and the effect of media on attitudes toward women.


• See some Soviet 'Mechs of the 1920s, courtesy of The Sidhe.


• RLobinske shares a video about the decline of movie posters.

Start Your Morning Off Cynical!

Daria and Jane are on the air to celebrate TV Talk Show Host Day! I would really love to hear the story behind that particular alter ego. Maybe one or both of the girls lost a bet. Regardless of the reason, I think Daria dies a little bit inside every time she has to smile like that. As for Jane? Jane looks like she's finally snapped.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 23): "'Christmas break and we're eating rubber turkey,' Jane snickered. 'Guess we have to get my bro to buy us some wine or something to compensate.'"


• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 8 and 9): "The young woman on the floor of the kitchen in the dingy apartment had not moved since the emergency medical technicians and the police officers had come in. She had a weak pulse, shallow respiration, and was unresponsive to vocal and physical stimulus." (Part 9)


• Fear and Loathing in Lawndale (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "It was late on a Saturday night, well past the time that any average person would've been awake. But Todd didn't pride himself on being ordinary."


• The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer and Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Finally, Abby turned towards him, a look of concern on her face, 'Okay, there's obviously something weird going on here. Something very weird.'"


• The Silent Cynic (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria knew that nothing was sustainable. It seemed like everyday things got worse and worse."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'I call upon the darkest magicks,' Andrea intoned, and took a deep breath of incense. 'I summon the dark, and from the dark, I summon the power to destroy. Come to me!'"


• Untitled Random Ficlet, by Silver (COMPLETE!): "He wanted to say it always began with murder. He really did. But the truth was that it almost never began with murder."

"Stupid five-sided building."

Helen, Jake, and their hippie friends are doing their best to levitate the Pentagon in what was probably a reference to the real-life attempt to do the same on this day in 1967. It seems Jake had no better luck than they did, perhaps because Jake's positive energy was somehow lacking. I can't even imagine how that might be the case, though.

Speaking of blasts from the past, better brush off your old VCR because the first Daria VHS tape was released on this day in 1997. It was oh-so-creatively titled "Daria," and featured the first three episodes of the series as well as the pilot episode, "Sealed with a Kick."

Fandom News!

• What costume have you always wanted to wear for Halloween? Tell everyone about it in the thread.


• Discuss the comic books series Über.


• Ask Dennis your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.


• Meester_Lee ponders the idea of Anthony DeMartino as a Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher.

I'd Listen to Him. Jake's Got His Life Pretty Much Together, After All!

They took your identity, Daria? Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!

Jake is offering some very useful advice in honor of Evaluate Your Life Day, and you can follow it if you'd like. On the other hand, you might consider just taking up a new hobby instead. Your call.

Fanfic Update!

• The College Try: Daria at Raft, by unrein_dreissig (COMPLETE!): "Early one beautiful late-August morning, the Morgendorffers pulled into Raft University. Daria was as close to exited as she ever been. The six hour drive to Boston was finally over. So were her days in Lawndale."


• Daria's Roundworld, by TheTuxedo (part 3): "Trent slowly rose to his feet, feeling upwards to make sure he didn't bang his head into anything, and found that there was no chest above him, and apparently, no chest in any other direction. He'd fallen into the chest, and now he was... somewhere else."


• Keep Your Chin Up, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The first pinpoints of daylight cast a thin shadow on the soft grass in front of the group of eighteen cadets doing push-ups in the center of Rogers Field (the USAES athletic grounds, on the opposite side of the Academy Forest from the USAES Main Campus) as another cadet (the assigned corrective measures proctor) watched over them."


• Halloween Party (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Scene 1: At a party with various persons in costume we come across Daria, Jane, and Tom in costumes as well."


• The Many Doctors - Chapter 26, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "When they got onto the roof, they saw Lazarus and Tish looking over at Southwark Cathedral. '...hard to believe the moment's finally arrived,' Lazarus was saying. 'Falls the Shadow,' the Doctor quoted as he approached."


• Motherless Son (Discussion/Possible I.C: Jake without Ruth), by Cap (part 1): "Well, he toughened Jake up finally. It took years. If Ruth had not died of pneumonia just months after his return from combat he might have never been successful. She would have mollycoddled him into uselessness."


• Sisters and Friends, by metameric1 (part 22): "'Ms. Morgendorffer,' Dr. Maas said slowly as he settled into his chair, 'I'd like to know how you think you're doing in this program.'"


• Thicker Than Water (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "The full moon shined down from the darkened night sky, casting illumination on two lone figures standing in the middle of an otherwise abandoned clearing."


• Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Greene sat behind his desk, his face not betraying anything. Jane hated that the most. If he looked upset or excited then she could get a good gauge of the news he was going to tell her. The calm and collected routine only made her more nervous." (Part 6)

Go, Mack Daddy, Go!

Mack is getting in touch with his inner daredevil because today is the anniversary of Evel Knievel's birth in 1938. I wonder if Mack got the idea from Kevin's motorcycle stunt. If so, he'd better watch out for the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree--I mean, Crutch.

This is also Wear Something Gaudy Day, which is probably near the top of the list of the Fashion Club's least favorite holidays. What if someone wears...gasp...stretch pants?!

Finally, happy birthday to Mike Judge! The man who created Beavis and Butt-head turns 52 today.

Fandom News!

• Discuss "realistic" levels of angst and other aspects of writing quality.


• Have you ever wanted to see Daria snap? Talk about it in The Daria Forum.


• Which Star Wars EU characters are you going to miss? Share your opinion in a new thread.


• A Wonder Woman movie has finally been announced, and fans are talking about it.


• Ask RLobinske your questions in the new Ask The Author thread.

This Blog Post Sucks

It was on this day, according to This Book Sucks, that Daria submitted an assignment for Human Sciences class consisting of an interview with Beavis and Butt-head. The interview focused on urban legends, perhaps making it a prequel to the Daria episode "Legends of the Mall." But probably not.

Also, happy birthday to the late philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, born on this day in 1844. One of his famous quotes, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," was repeated by Daria in "The Invitation" to comfort Brittany over the wet lunch trays.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'I wish you weren't leaving,' Jane said. 'Yeah, me too,' Rayne said. 'But I'll be back, I promise. I need to do this.'"


• Always look on the Bright Side (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "'Anthony, it seems that you have a visitor.' the nurse beamed, 'See? You do have people that care about you.'" (Part 2)


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 14): "'Tha . . . hey, wait a minute,' Daria said, slapping one hand down on the corner of the bag before the man could take it. 'This is Canadian money.'"


• Falling Away From Me, by Sailor Pluto (part 1): "If someone had to put it nicely, Highland was, Highland was, okay so there was no way of putting it nicely because Highland was basically a shithole of a town which made a person wonder how anyone could possibly live there."


• Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "'Mr. DeMartino, I think you have something stuck to your ... um ... butt,' Jane said, pointing to the tall, lanky man's behind."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 4): "Tom Sloane started to suspect that his soon-to-be-former best friends Pat Seven and Terry Wicklemore were a part of Fielding's criminal underworld. That was the only explanation of his latest bout of stupidity."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'All right, Quinn,' Mrs. Barch said, as she handed the redhead a pistol, 'It's time for your final test - to see if you've renounced the ways of women acting solely to please men.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'So, um,' Timothy O'Neill paused to glance at his seating chart. 'Bob? Would you like to tell me about what we just read?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'...I made a bad decision regarding drinking,' Tom said, 'That decision almost cost me my life. However, the scandalous accusations surrounding that event never happened. I completely deny them.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The pain throbbing through the back of his skull was almost blinding, easily holding its own with the aches and pains the rest of his body was emitting. The fact he could remember how he'd ended up cracked over the skull to end up unconscious on his back in one of Lawndale's less pleasant alleys wasn't helping."


• Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Laughter rose up around the small comedy club as Jane stood on stage, smiling radiantly. Quinn watched her, clapping politely but never smiling. Seeing her there only reminded Quinn of what was going on inside of her."

A Dubious Holiday

Daria's feeling extra skeptical today because it's International Skeptics Day. Or at least it might be. Don't take my word for it, okay?

Fandom News!

• MartinUK has left on vacation in Sweden and Denmark and has promised pictures upon his return.


• Is Mr. DeMartino a good teacher? Give your reasons why or why not in the thread.


• Snow-Kitty wonders about chemistry between Mrs. Bennett and Mr. DeMartino.


• Discuss the various DC TV shows in a new thread.


• Talk about the show American Horror Story.


• Ms. Kinnikufan posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Mr. DeMartino is arrested.

It's Her Party and She'll Snark if She Wants To

Daria may not be enjoying It's My Party Day, but everyone else seems to be. If you want, throw a party of your own to celebrate someone's oarents (yours or anyone else's) being out of town. Unless you'd prefer to swallow glass instead.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (part 3): "'Alright, we're going to have to steer Quinn away from taking you to get your hair done,' Jane said, talking to her cousin as they walked down Dega street. 'I'm guessing that since you're Kryptonian, you have the same powers I do, so scissors are not going to cut it, literally.'"


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 13): "'Yo,' Jane called out from behind the register. 'Cooler's done, I'm gonna book as soon as you're ready to start. I'm missing a party right now.' 'Yeah, yeah,' Daria said, stifling a yawn. She swung by the coffee area and poured herself a cup, then walked around behind the counter and froze."


• Broken, by tafka (part 1): "The car came to a slow stop as it cracked along the crisp, grey gravel drive. I looked up at the building that was to be my home – for how long, I don't know."


• Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 24): "Daria hears her cellphone ring but she is at work so doesn't answer it. 'Ironico is not a word.' She deletes the o on the end and continues reading through the article."


• Death To Fashion (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Stacy, I'll ask you again. How do you explain this crime against fashion?'"


• Kittens And Khaos (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Todd Ianuzzi was sat in at the kitchen table in his cabin, out in an isolated area of Lawndale. He was gently stroking a tabby cat called Trudy, who he'd rescued from a tree several months ago, and he had doted on her ever since."


• The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "Martha Jones was not impressed that the Doctor had apparently picked up someone else whilst he had been away. This 'Felicia' person was not explaining herself, but was clearly was not comfortable around the Doctor."


• The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer and Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Matthew spun around to see a woman with long, red hair waving at him. He turned and walked over to her. 'Hi Aunt Quinn.' He said kind of glumly."


• Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 15): "Skylar wasn't expecting the offending comment. He turned around, searching for the source of the question. Standing in the locker bank adjacent to him was a guy he only knew by last name. Lane."

"I want cheese! Gimme cheese!" Or maybe not....

The Lanes are celebrating Moldy Cheese Day in their very own fridge, although I doubt it was intentional. Still haven't figured out what that red stuff is, either. Fortunately, Daria's plastic cheese wedge should still be mold-free. And if it isn't, that girl really needs to clean her room.

If you're plagued by moldy cheese, just don't kill it with fire because today is also Fire Prevention Day. Just remember the Lane family rule about about not building fires in rooms that don't have fireplaces and you should be fine. Jake, I'm looking at you and your paper towels.

Fandom News!

• Vote in a new poll about Lawndale's location.


• Talk about the upcoming TV series Better Call Saul in a new thread.


• Give your opinion on the new show Gotham.


• Tell everyone about the movies you don't hate but you don't enjoy, either.


• Meester_Lee is looking for advice about lottery payouts for his story.

Also Known As Criminale Day!

Max gets a special star today because it's Bald and Free Day, and Max is the only bald Daria character I can remember off the top of my head. (Rimshot.) I suppose if "Dye! Dye! My Darling" had gone a little differently, Jane might have joined him on this holiday. For Daria's sake, I'm glad it didn't.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (parts 2 and 3): "Jim Vitale glanced over Linda's shoulder, his eyes briefly locking with those of his young protege, and his soft smile hardened for the briefest of seconds. 'So, Sandi, where's that office? I was thinking that we could handle this with alacrity, then maybe I could take you and your mother out to lunch.'" (Part 3)


• All Relative (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Brittany raises her hand) Mr. DeMartino: Yes, BRITTANY? Brittany: Who's that guy standing next to you and what happened to your arm? Mr. DeMartino: I was JUST getting to that."


• All the things she said, by 39medalla (COMPLETE!): "Jane una vez oyó hablar a Daria sobre un poema acerca de cómo era la vida bajo el sol."


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 12): "'I need to see your ID,' Daria said, her flat monotone more bored than usual. 'No ID, no beer. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.'"


• The Boleyn Girl, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In Whitehall Palace the Queen's apartments had entered a strange period of quiet after the hustle and bustle of the various members of the court scrambling to see the infant currently resting in the cradle."


• Celebrity Status (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Set in the mid-late 2000's, new class of seniors and DeMartino's hair's gone completely grey but is slightly happier that he no longer has to teach Kevin) DeMartino: 'Would anyone ELSE care to BROADCAST their COMPLETE lack of EDUCATION?'"


• The Drudge of Tomorrow, by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "'Uhh, we're in Lawndale, kiddo. Remember? We just moved here,' Jake replied. 'I think I had a nightmare... I was in a car crash... but it was so... vivid.'"


• Fleeting Innocence (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Splotches of dried blood dotted the toe of Jane's knee-high combat boots, spots of rust colored gore marring the otherwise perfect leather exterior. The beginning of a bruise was already coloring a spot near her right temple."


• From J and D, with love (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "He didn't want the admiration or the fame. He only wanted one thing: to bring the Ianuzzis crashing back down to Earth."


• Frown at the Dead, by Vick Pena (part 3): "Daria followed the sound downstairs. Her mom and dad were there, talking, or, to be accurate, whispering. By their voice inflection Daria got it was something serious but they stopped and changed the topic when they saw her walking into the room."


• Going To The Chapel (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Is he sure he knows what he's doing?' Daria said quietly to Ashley. Ashley shrugged. 'I dunno. It's his life anyway. He can do what he wants with it.'" (Part 2)


• Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 5): "Quinn Barksdale had always hated Mondays, and yesterday was no exception. She was still on thin ice with the popular crowd at school, failed a pop quiz in Math, and came home to find her mother drunkagain."


• Out of Place, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "'This is a specialized tablet, Creator,' said the man, whom Lobinske realized as his own creation, Richard. 'It'll make you feel more comfortable.'"


• The Phantom of the Library, by NeonHomer and Princess Pasta (part 1): "Matthew paused. 'When we went for the tour of the high school last year, the seniors that were showing us around were telling us the school is haunted.' Tristan went from laughing to taking on an ashen look."


• See Jane... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A predatory grin spread across Jane Lane's pale face, an evil glint lighting in her bright blue eyes. There was blood to be spilled and she was itching to release the carnal fury burning within her."


• Shush First, Answer Questions Later, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The books were in alphabetical order, the complimentary coffee was brewing, the public-use computers were all (miraculously) functioning, and Daria Morgendorffer was prepared to start her first day as a librarian at the Alfred Joyce Kilmer Public Library."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Sexual intimacy was, given the nature of the situation, an impossibility. At the very least, it would make sharing meals with the rest of the folks in their habitat block awkward."

The Job Is Its Own Reward, I'm Sure

Mrs. Bennett has just shocked Mr. DeMartino by reminding him that today is World Teachers' Day. Since today is not World Increase Teachers' Salaries Day, I don't think the news is cheering him up very much.

This also marks the eleventh anniversary of the SFMB, which was created on this day in 2003. Thanks, Mistress Thea!

Fandom News!

• The AV Club lists all 57 books mentioned by Daria in the series. How many have you read?


• Tetris: The Movie. Yes, really. Discuss it in the thread.


• Nominate the cheesiest songs of all time, in your opinion.


• tafka is looking for writing advice.


• Ask Doggieboy your questions in the new Ask The Author thread.

Have Some Heart-Shaped Cookies!

It's World Smile Day, so give us your biggest smile! Um, not you, Daria. Please stop. Seriously, it's getting creepy.

Quinn is also celebrating Techies Day by actually acknowledging the existence of computer geeks. But only the "cuter technical types" and not the "really enthusiastic" ones. She still has standards.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (part 1): "Jane turned and jerked the door open, causing the person standing on the other side to recoil slightly in shock. It was hard to tell in the early morning gloom, but she was pretty sure the visitor was a girl."


• All the things she said, by 39medalla (prologue): "The last time I saw her was 7 years ago, it was the last time I had about it was the last time you told her how much he loved her." (Spanish version)


• ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "He turned back to Dmitri, arms crossed over his chest, giving him a look one might give a cockroach. 'We've never met, but I know who you are. You're Dmitri Borya Vagin. Former leader of the Mafia, a position you held for two years. Now the laughingstock of Fielding's gay community.' He stared off into space, as if reconsidering. 'Actually,' he said, 'the community in general.'"


• A brief moment in the life of Cassie Morgendorffer, by SpookyZalost (part 1): "Cassie was relaxing on her bed enjoying the last days of summer, her birthday was coming up in august and she had finished high school a year early thanks to her aunt's help."


• Dysmorphosis (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stared into the mirror. Her reflection stared back."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 1, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Danielle couldn't sleep. 'I may as well go and look for that emerald again,' she thought. She got dressed and left the house. 'Hopefully, I will be able to find the emerald soon, and also get help from trustworthy people,' she thought."


• Lawndale's Finest: Detective Stories #6, by LSauchelli (part 4): "Of course it had been true. A ghost had been teaching her martial arts and the way of life for the better part of a year. A ghost had showed her the way to become Just. It had not seemed so strange after she realized this."


• A Little Too Real, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "As she waited, Daria though about how the three of them had joined the Agency during the Worldburner Crisis. Frightened to be pulled into a world of multiple realities and threats that could consume them, Daria had agreed to help and in the end, all three had joined. Almost four years later, they were now a seasoned field team."


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 6): "Major General Alexandr Leontev, Soviet Army, was a very angry man."


• Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "He cackled to himself, giddy that soon he'll be fulfilling one of his life's dreams since working there and giving Ms. Li the finger. He placed the key in the ignition and turned expecting the car to stall for a bit before he could peel away. But something was wrong..."


• Slow Tango in Lawndale, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Jane sat staring into the glowing and crackling fireplace, contemplating the somewhat magical evening she had shared with whom she had thought to be the most interesting man she had ever met."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood at the corner of the big dining room. As everyday, the contact lenses had been uncomfortable, so she had taken them out. She did not want to wear glasses, because she disliked looking too intellectual. Hence all the things around her, including human faces, were blurry."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'I think, dear, that this is some sort of abuse of power. Or position.' This from Marie, looking with mild distaste at the scene unfolding before her."


• Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (parts 2 and 3): "Quinn watched silently as she walked into her office and shut the door. I know that I'm right. I know this stuff. Quinn swallowed down her anger and made her way back to her desk. She'd have her moment. She would make sure of it." (Part 3)

Who Wants to Tear Open the Rip Panel with Their Teeth?

Mrs. Bennett is helping us celebrate Balloons Around the World Day, although I'm surprised she's not making little balloon animal Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee-Bits. I hope Jake doesn't get any ideas about ballooning around the world, because I'm sure he wouldn't want to have any more branches removed.

Brittany has an additional message in honor of International Day for Older Persons: always wear your sunscreen. Wise advice, Brittany. Thank you for that.

Fandom News!

• Grungeisnotdead shares The Misanthrope’s Guide to Reading While Traveling, and I know most of fandom will be able to sympathize.


• ognawk will be participating in Extra Life 2014, and invites everyone to help out.


• Play Roentgen's new game, Daria's Hangover.


• Ask breitasparrow your questions in the new Ask The Author thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Daria Possible and Snow-Kitty's Quinn as a cheerleader.