Just Make Sure You DO Vote

In the USA, Thursday was is Women's Equality Day, so called because on that date the 19th Amendment to the Constitution was made law, giving women the right to vote.

Yo! More power to ya!

More news and fanfics later. I will be out of town for the weekend and unable to update. Talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone, and stay tooned 4 moar.

THERE! Just updated this post Friday morning so it's current (for a few seconds, before another fanfic gets posted). Party on, people. Be back soon.

NEWEST! Just be aware that Friday, August 27, is the day that Is It Fall Yet? first aired on MTV, ten years ago.

And, speaking of ten years ago, wanna see what MTV's Daria site looked like then? Click here, then click on the Daria link. Enjoy.

NUZ!

• Wormbait brings us a new Iron Chef: Daria Lane. How could Daria become a member of the Lane family without marriage?
• NEWEST! Charles RB wants to talk about Daria's future...
• And speaking of Nerd Girls...
  

DFB2

• Unnamed poem #1 (DFB2: "Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."), by Anonymous (COMPLETE!)
• Unnamed poem #2 (DFB2: "Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."), by Ticknart (COMPLETE!)
• Unnamed poem #3 (DFB2: "Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."), by Ticknart (COMPLETE!)
• Unnamed poem #4 (DFB2: "Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!)
• Unnamed poem #5 (DFB2: "Roses are red / Tom Sloane is poo..."), by TAG (COMPLETE!)

FF.net

• NEWEST! Not So Fast, Lane by Used Condominium (COMPLETE!): Daria was up in her room, hiding. Through the walls, she recognized Trent's low voice and suddenly found herself concentrating on her breathing pattern. Thank God for all those five a.m. yoga classes or I'd never remember how to breathe evenly, she thought.
  

PPMB

• Anthony DeMartino Just Wants to Have Fun, by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Girls... just want to have fuh-hun... oh girls, just want to have fun..." Anthony DeMartino wrestled with the child-proof safety cap furiously, until finally he managed to twist it open. He shook four of the little pills out onto his hand, popped them into his mouth, and dry-swallowed them. He pushed his hands to his ears in a futile effort to block the strains of Cyndi Lauper coming from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and waited. Finally, after ten minutes of the siren's voice calling him, it began to fade out of existence. After all, the song wasn't coming from within the cabinet, but from his own head. (FF.net)
  
• Big Esteem, by Hazazel (Part 3): “You can’t blame the girl for our problems, Linda,” Helen said to woman who had been her sister-wife for more than twenty years. “If Jake had had enough brains to understand how much troubles taking a new wife in his situation would bring and explained it to the girl, she probably would have understood.” “So you think Jake alone is to be blamed for our situation?” Linda asked. “Jake more than anyone else,” Helen answered. “Yet you're the one who supported him in his foolery,” Linda shot back. Looking sad, Helen answered “How could I have opposed it? He was totally smitten with her. And she with him.” (Daria/Big Love)

• NEW! Daria, Cynic of Lawndale: At Wits End, by Greystar (prelude): The citizens of Lawndale are lined up outside the gates of Lawndale Castle (picture Lawndale High, but made out of rough stone and sporting turrets) to watch the spectacle taking shape out front of the edifice. Soldiers in immaculate black and blood-red uniforms are holding the public at bay with muskets with bayonets affixed, though shock and fear seem to be doing equally well. A single file line of men, women, and children from all walks of Lawndale life, all wearing shackles and heavy chains are being walked into the doors of the building and through to a courtyard. In all cases, the Lawndale citizens are wearing their usual outfits, except they look like they haven’t been washed in weeks. Faces are dirty, sunken, streaked with sweat and grime. It is a populace that is thoroughly defeated.
  
• DeWitt, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Insomuch as I am capable of enjoying anything approaching "normal", I enjoy watching people. On this particular day, a Monday, I am sitting on one of the benches that line one edge of the Lawndale High commons, a small field where students such as myself tend to gather during lunch and free periods. It also serves as a walkway between, for example, the cafeteria and the main building, making it a particularly excellent spot for my little hobby. (Daria/Dexter) (FF.net) [Contains mature content.]

• Do you swear to tell the truth... by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The intercom on her desk buzzed. "Miz Morgendorffer? There's a Ranger to see you." "Thanks, he's expected." Texas Rangers tend to be tall, broad shouldered men. Ranger Bell was no exception. He was holding his hat in both hands as he entered the cramped office of Helen Morgendorffer. The office seemed even more cramped as he sat down. "Ma'am, I want to thank you for seeing me on such short notice, what I have to tell you is not the sort of thing you discuss on the telephone." [Contains mature content.]
• Fashion Angels, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): “Good morning, angels,” the deep male said over a small intercom. “Good morning, Charlie,” the four young women said in return. Tiffany Blum-Deckler checked her appearance via a compact mirror. Stacy Rowe drank a latté while she scanned the sports section of the Lawndale Sun-Herald. Quinn Morgendorffer and Sandi Griffin watched each other warily as they waited for their employer and sponsor to speak. (Daria/Charlie’s Angels/Toonces the Driving Cat)

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 8): “I’m sure Jane has great times with her brother,” Mark returned. “When he’s conscious. And I’m conscious. Doesn’t happen often, but it grows on me. Come on, let’s go eat. Tomorrow, we’ll head over Daria’s, you can meet my ex. He’s graduating this week. And then, back on the trip.” “You’re lookin’ forward to seeing him, aren’t you?” Miranda teased. “It’s complicated.” Jane replied. “Doesn’t happen that often with me, but it’s really complicated.”

• NEWEST! God Save the Esteem 3: Family Devalued, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “Attention, entities of the interweb! This is Awesomely Amy, coming to you from the Lawndale woods—the sun is setting and we’re starting up the webcams around us! Stay tuned, for Metalmouth could attack at any moment! Dare YOU go to the bathroom and miss the scene?!” She disconnected the webcam and smiled. “They’ll be peeing in soda bottles if I know our audience. Everyone into the car, don’t want to be too tempting a target!”
  
• NEWEST! Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (Part 2): "So, had enough, yet?" They were in Bad Penny's cell. If you looked past the bars and the stone walls, the place was swanky, indeed. Clean linens. Old hooch. New smokes. Compared to what Daria had at the moment—and what she'd grown used to since leaving New York in her rear view six months and a lifestyle ago—it was a mint under the pillow away from being the Grand Hotel. "Enough of what?"

• NEWEST! Jack, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): First thing Lindy noticed when she woke up was that she really, really, didn’t want to. Oh God, what a hangover! she thought. Just rising into a sitting position made her head feel like it was going to explode. After a moment, she opened her eyes and looked around. Alright, I’m naked but at least most of my clothes seem to be on the floor. Lindy turned to look at the man sleeping next to her. And who the hell is he? She watched guy’s face for a moment, but there was nothing familiar in it. Certainly not the knight in shining armor. Nothing like that in the cards for this damsel in distress. Then she noticed a tattoo of Jack Nicholson in his left shoulder.

• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (Part 5): Grabbing some empty boxes from the garage, Jake and Trent piled them in the back of Jake's car. While they were gone, Helen began rearranging Jane's room to fit an extra bed. Jane was helping Helen while Daria sat on Jane's bed curled up. Seeing her friend and soon-to-be sister upset, Jane sat down beside her. Daria refused to lift her head up. Helen stopped and joined them. "What's wrong, Daria?" "I think my mommy and daddy left 'cause they don't love me anymore.
• NEWEST! Quinnilicious, by TAG (COMPLETE!): "Four, three, two... um..." (Daria/Fergalicious)
  
• Unnamed story (Big Esteem), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): "I kissed your husband, I kissed Jake."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef, Daria made by Filmation), by DocForbin (COMPLETE!): "Daria, you're like school on the Fourth of July." "What do you mean?" (Daria/Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids)

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria's possible mentors), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): Turning from her window in the warden's office of the newly re-opened Alcatraz, Daria set the last few lines to the thank-you card to her mentor....
• MOST NEWEST! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: gangster school?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "All RIGHT CLASS!" shouted the teacher. "Today, we discuss the importance of having a NAME that can be either either CATCHY or MEANINGFUL! The importance of such a name is to strike TERROR into your ENEMIES!" "Like Mr. PedO'Neill?" Brittany squeaked.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: gangster school?), by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): Stacy Rowe, Tiffany Blum-Deckler, and Tori Jericho stood at rigid attention for inspection. Their Schutzstaffel uniforms were immaculate, their posture pristine. They only awaited the approval of their Commandant. Sandi Griffin entered the room in full SS regalia, whip at her side, swastika prominently displayed on her armband, every inch the embodiment of pure evil. "I call to order this meeting of the Fascism Club," she said coolly. "Prepare for inspection."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Quinn laughed, her voice lilting like wind through chimes, and then took another sip of her mimosa. Her lunch companion smiled ruefully and shook his head. "You promised you wouldn't laugh." "I know, I know," Quinn said. "It's just... wow. I now have the weapon of ultimate destruction over my sister." Tom frowned. "Just because she's the last girl I dated...."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: What he REALLY thinks of Daria!), by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "You're beautiful. Unpolished sure, but you can't teach poise and you can't instruct disdain for the masses. Teach me! Teach me your ways."
  

• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): [Won't spoil it!]
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): A year in Hope High had dulled the once witty, if deadpan girl into a vicious and ruthless shadow of her former self. Once upon a time she could have gotten you anything for a price; liquor, cigarettes, booze. People at Hope either had a niche or they were chum in the waters. Hers had been as a black market salesmen. She'd started out with tests and when one of the boys who used to run the racket got busted, she moved in. At Hope High, she'd been a god and for the first time in her life the bile she felt at the thought of the ignorance of the human race had stayed itself.
  

• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's depressing. Everybody's out of blush or scared of loosing their last tube of lip gloss. You can barely buy a nice top, Cashman's went bust, shopkeepers put ink tags on clothes just to ruin them. Punks are going out in daylight with their Mohawks and nose rings and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it..." (Daria/Network)
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): DeMartino grinned at the dead form of the football team....
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Mack leaned forward, peering into the open hatch of the strange vehicle. From the steaming darkness within, a slithering, disgusting, alien thing swiftly emerged and launched itself at him. (Daria/Independence Day)
  

La La La La La, My Darling

"Dye! Dye! My Darling" appeared on the air for the first time 10 years ago today. By far the most controversial episode ever aired in the Daria series (even more so than "Daria!" or "Depth Takes a Holiday"), DDMD has never lost its ability to drive the fandom nuts.

A year ago this day I uploaded a bunch of links through the WayBack Machine to old MTV website pages of Daria goodness. There's the link to them. Go and have fun.

Happy August Long Weekend to everyone in Canada. Enjoy the day!

PPMB

• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (Part 5): Daria and Jane walked up to the Morgendorffer house, deep in philosophical discussion. “No, you’ve not thought this through. Alien bleeds acid blood, Species is just a woman who can’t remember how to put clothes on. She’d never survive. Alien all the way.” “Ah, but if she borrows Predator’s blasters, she’s got long-range!” “Touche. It’s not like he’ll want them after the Krites have eaten them.” Daria opened the door, took a brief listen, and winced. “You better take a hike. My mom’s talking to my Aunt Rita. This isn’t gonna be pretty.” (FF.net)
  
• Inner Universe, by Malakite (Part 6): "I've said it before, I'll say it again: you have the coolest room." This comment rose above the somewhat muted sound of twangy guitar and piano accompaniment coming from Jane's television. As she painted (the palette for today was heavy on greys with a touch of green) and intermittently sketched she decided, "It's got pros and cons. You can't hurt yourself in here, but you can't hurt anybody else in here, either." Jane smiled at this as she rapped her hand lightly against the nearest wall. "I wish there'd been a schizophrenic shut-in living in our house before we moved in. Of course, we've got Trent there now. That's almost the same thing."
  
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 12): Jane continued to look at the screen in front of her. The old man studied her expressions. He noticed how a look of pain came over Jane when she watched the scene the where she had told Daria about moving. He saw jealousy flash in her eyes when she saw the drawing Daria did of Melody Powers. She tried to stay expressionless but couldn't. She turned to him. His eyes had changed colors again. This time they were matching Daria's dark brown eyes. She looked down at the road that stretched ahead of her. She looked at him with a curious face. "I have a question," Jane stated. "Ask away." The old man shifted his gaze to the sky.
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 20): Daria left Professor Federova's office feeling a bit shell-shocked. It was clear that she had made a lot of mistakes in writing her first paper, to impress her teacher with her thoroughness. It was pretty easy to snow someone like DeMartino or O'Neill, simply because they were not used to any sort of academic rigor from their students. DeMartino would have been happy if someone merely knew that Robert E. Lee's wife was not Sara Lee.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Students with low self-esteem will be exterminated!" (Daria/Doctor Who)

One Small Step for Jodie, One Long Run for Jane Lane

As Jodie Landon reminds us, 41 years ago the Eagle landed on the Moon. As Daria and Jane remind us, "See Jane Run" premiered on MTV 12 years ago. An important day in history, indeed. Today turns out to be critically important in one fanfic, as you will see. Yesterday will be an important day 17 years in the future according to another fanfic, as you will see.

The best part of "See Jane Run" was, of course, seeing Jane. Our Heroine (Jane) was magnificent, but her sidekick Daria was a wet blanket with her constant whining and acting sorry for herself and complaining about Jane doing something great. What heights could Jane have achieved had Daria not been such a pain in the butt? Alas, we will never know.

However, to commemorate the anniversary of "See Jane Run," you can download a PC screensaver that shows Jane running, saved from an MTV website by the WayBack Machine at Archive.org. Click on the link (an .exe file), save it, run it, be amazed. I adore this. The file (called "Run, Jane, Run" as a screensaver) was posted online about 10 years ago and works perfectly, with sun and moon and stars and everything! Jane sure can run a long time.

Moar l8r.

A Little Song, A Little Dance, A Little Wedgie in Your Pants

Happy April Fool's Day to you all. Jesters are the logos and mascots for the day.

This blog has popped a couple or two 4/1 stunts in the past. It's amazing how many April Fool's stunts have been pulled on the Internet as a whole, including:

• April Fool's Day RFC
• Fossil Fool's Day (not such an April Fool thing)
• Pigasus Award
• Edible Book Festival
• Google's Hoaxes

This day has at least one website devoted to it, though I am partial to the Museum of Hoaxes and especially to one of the best prank-busters of all time, Snopes.com. Well worth a look for your enlightenment.

I'd still like to know what April Fool's Day is like at Holiday Island High, whether a prankster or some ironic twist on the same.Only one Daria fanfic I can find is actually attuned to April Fool's Day, that being Richard Lobinske's "I Meant to Do That." I did find a nice Liliane Grenier artwork of Trent as a court jester on Outpost Daria, but no other jesters.

It's been three years to this day since all the appliances on Earth took over and enslaved humanity. You'd think someone would notice.

Would Mack Mackenzie make a good businessman? What kind of business would he be in? Add your comments to the thread!

The supervillain named Valwire has been captured... in Jim North's artwork! Excellent!

The above item appears here. An old collectible. Darn.

FF.net

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Dying on the Inside, by Minx (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Mata Dari, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.] (OD)
  
• A Night of Bells (But No Whistles), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Shieldmaiden, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Storytime, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]

PPMB

• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by Richard Lobnske (Part 1): "Hi, I’m your host, Karen Myerson. Right here in front of Fenderson Hall, what seems like the best place to start our show."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 40: Higher Learning, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Fantastic. Now all we need is a flat tire, Daria thought. It didn’t come to pass when she thought it, not like the TV shows. But this was bad enough on its own.
• NEW! Fragments of an Unnamed Tale, by Staticblast (Part 1): "It has been eight years now, since my family left the south to move here, and seven-and-a-half since I became fast friends with the artist, Jane Lane. My father was, and still is, considered strange by the community for having me tutored at home, and insane for doing the same for her. As you know, she has been both reviled and praised for her illustrations and paintings of the contents of the seven cryptical books of Hsan, named a genius and claimed to be in need of an alienist." [Part 2 here!]
  
• John Lane 45: Haunted by the Past, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "The girls of Lawndale owe you big time, Daria," Quinn said before hurrying away.
• NEW! (Semi)Permanent Reminder, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria awoke in a semi-dark room, the morning air cool and still. After a good stretch she moved the sheet off her legs and stood. She wore a thin white sports bra and boy shorts, which she straightened as she walked to the bathroom. On the door was a sheet of white paper, a message printed across the center of the page: LOCK THE DOOR
  

"I knew you guys would screw this up."

Wanna see what MTV's Daria website looked like exactly twelve years ago? Click the link.

The Beavis and Butt-head episode "Sprout" first aired on MTV fourteen years ago today. Daria gets a cameo role. B&B have to grow corn in their backyard (they're hoping for nachos) but they simply throw the packet of seeds on the ground and wait for something to happen. Daria shows up and utters the line in this posting title. She tells the boys to talk to their plant and says it works, but it is hard to tell if she's pulling their leg or if she believes it. I'll go for the former. She apparently just wanted to see how messed up the boys' project was, then insult them and leave. And a fine job she did, too. They still took her advice.

One of the better images of "early Daria" appears in the episode (see at left). Daria grows a flower for her own plant-growing project. Very feminine. I sort of expected a carnivorous plant, you know, but whatever.

Interestingly, the names of some of Daria's classmates are written on the Dixie cups used for the project. I notice these names in order, left to right: Kimson, Mike, Kate, Bill, Joe, Gina, Ben, Daria, Carl, J.P., Beavis and Butthead (used same cup), Dean, and Martin.

Where's Cassandra? Earl the gun-toting kid? Kimberly? The punk girl later called Kimberly? Dang.

Go Back in Time With Just a Click

Wanna know what MTV's Daria website looked like on exactly this day, twelve years ago? Now you can find out! The link goes to the archived site at Archive.org. Thanks, WayBack Machine! (Image at right is the actual scene.)

On this very day, October 15th, Scene 8 of Galen "Lawndale Stalker" Hardesty's "Blood Oath of Patriots II: By Any Other Name" takes place. I'm just thankful this blog was able to let you know that.

Let's see, it's Nietzsche's birthday, it's Global Handwashing Day, I guess that's about it. Enjoy.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 7: History on Skates, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Mister D told me I’m not Daria, Finn thought. Unlike when other people, like his mother, said that he wasn’t Daria, there wasn’t anything else to the statement. There was no subtext, no disappointment in not joining academic clubs. Mr. D did chastise him for his grades, and said he could do better, but there was no reason for him to do that.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 8: Family Ties, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Why the hell did I get suckered into this? Finn thought. He knew the answer to it, of course, but that didn’t make it any less believable. “What do you think?” The woman’s voice called from the dressing room. The door opened a second later, and out stepped Helen Morgendorffer, wearing a pink business dress.
• John Lane 43: We're On A Mission, by Richard Lobinske (part 1): "Hi, Tom. It's John Lane." "Uh, hi," Tom said, curious about the call. "What's going on?" "I was hoping to catch a ride from you this Saturday." "I guess, but don't you have a car?" "I don't trust it to go to very far."
  
• Lawndale's Finest, Detective Stories 5: Belfry, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 1): Amelia caressed Quinn's head, "There's no fever, so it's safe to say the dose wasn't lethal. That's good news, it allows me to have time to work. And to know how much her mind was affected I would need all the time I can get to talk with her."
  
• Monster Madness, by Trscroggs (Part 1): In the early 1990s, humanity had its first contact with aliens. They weren’t friendly. A giant monster descended on Mexico City and all but destroyed it before vanishing. A short time later, the monster appeared again and leveled another large city. The third attack began like the first two, but...
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): The captain of the Polk High debate team turned white with shock as the crowd in the auditorium, equally stunned, all set their gazes towards Daria. "But-but-but you aren't serious?" the boy gasped. "You can't actually believe shooting people will help make a better world?!"
• Unnamed story (Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): “What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” she asked as she finished off the last chip from the snack sized bag. The gas station attendant raised an eyebrow at the unusual question and said, “Ma’am?”

The Other Bad Todd

In Daria lore, there are Two Bad Todds. One is well known from Beavis and Butt-head : Todd Ianuzzi, a brutal thug and gang leader. You may remember him beating up B&B a few times. Daria was never around him, smart kid. Great for fanfiction if you need muscle to get shot or stomped on.

And then there was Todd K. Feichmann.

You are very unlikely to have heard of this Todd (though I did mention him in this blog a long while ago). He was described only on old MTV Daria websites, and only the WayBack Machine can bring his tale to the present day. Here's what I've learned about him. Long-time fans might remember some of this.

This Todd is primarily known for creating the Lawndale High School website in 1994, for having been picked on a lot by high-school jocks, and for the revenge he took later on. About him, Jodie and Mack wrote:

The Lawndale High School Web site was established in 1994 by Todd K. Feichmann. At that time it consisted of his resume and a 3000-word essay on mutant battle psychology as encountered in the first six levels of DOOM. The scepter was passed to a small cadre of initiates after his graduation, but his spirit and love of nanotechnology still inspires the site today. We hope he is staying on his medication and feeling better about the fact that the simple elegance of UNIX is lost on the vast majority of today's computer users.

What we know about Todd comes from these webpages, some of which are difficult to access. If you click on a link and the webpage vanishes and is replaced by a modern MTV 404 page, try hitting ESCAPE as soon as the old page appears, to freeze it.

As this page shows, Todd created a special website called "Cleatopia.com" for guys he intensely disliked, so they could play fantasy football (Todd's idea of fantasy football, that is). On the webpage is written:

Hello, Kevin! Welcome to the first fantasy football site devoted to local high school jocks like yourself, who have tortured me mercilessly for years, rattling my will and shattering my fragile psyche until all that's left is a resentful, hypersensitive outcast who harbors vengeful visions of triumphant payback. Now I can finally suck your wallets dry and prove my intellectual superiority at the same time.

We also have real time stats, destructive viruses, and annoying clone bots for you to download. Have fun!

Founder and Visionary Todd K. Feichmann

To get to this page, you read Kevin's webpage first, where he dimly writes:

The first time I told Brittany I was spending a lot of time playing Fantasy Football she slapped me. So I explained all I meant was I like to make up imaginary teams for make believe football leagues, and it has nothing to do with daydreaming about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations. But then I started to think about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations and I guess I got a funny look on my face and she slapped me again.

Now I'll have plenty of time this weekend to check out player stats and injury reports and make trades and rethink my roster and order an apology bouquet from 1-800-GROVEL.

My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad. I miss Sporty.

I wonder where he is now?

When I first got into fantasy sports I used to play in leagues based on the NFL, or NCAA conferences. But now there's a new fantasy league that's about what I know best: Carter County High School Football! Did I mention that I'm the QB?

See, this kid named Todd K. Feichmann who helped me with my web page last year decided to put his smartness to non-nerdy use to start the league. And he only charges $29.99 to join: he says he needs the money for something called a particle decelebrator. Some kind of fancy vacuum cleaner, I guess.

Anyway, I'd really be kicking butt in the league if only I hadn't picked myself in the first round of the draft. I would trade myself now but no one wants me. I throw too many interceptions, sometime I get confused and call out phone numbers instead of plays, and I keep tripping over my laces (can't I remember to doubleknot?) I suck, I suck, I suck!

Maybe I shouldn't have drafted me. I guess football is kind of like dating: sometimes you choose the most obvious person under pressure and then you're stuck with them. At least that's what I heard Brittany telling the other cheerleaders. Then they all looked at me and shook their heads.

So Todd had his revenge on jocks, and Kevin never knew it. Sometimes that's for the best.


Wonder what Todd's doing now...


Let's check out the new fanfiction while we think.

PPMB

• NEW! Anti-trope, by Pinkminx (Part 1): Forgive me, I think I may need to backtrack a little, let me introduce myself. My name is Dean Morgendorffer, I'm a seventeen year old high school student and proud Lawndalian, okay I lied; I'm not proud to live in Lawndale, but it sure as hell beat the alternative.
• NEW! Fat Man's Grave, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Parts 1 and 2): Charles Ruttheimer the Third, man of mystery and adventure, as thoroughly and completely disguised from view as The Shadow, clouding the minds of men. Too long have my talents been wasted on childish trivia, too long have the world’s enigmas gone unsolved. It is time for my deeds to be writ large on the world, time for...
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 7: History on Skates, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Mr. DeMartino seemed to be devoting his attention to cardio exercises, Finn noticed once he brought himself up to the weight room. Finn wondered briefly why Mr. D simply wouldn’t join a gym and get a trainer for such conditioning, but Finn reasoned that it would require payment, and he certainly wouldn’t do that.
• NEW! Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Network Connections, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “Mister Mackenzie!” Mack Mackenzie instinctively tensed for a moment as a very familiar voice rang out from behind. “Uh, hello, Ms. Li!” he said.
• NEW! Regifted, by Ajar (Part 19): “Daria goes to Grove Hills now,” said Jane. “Remember?” “Right,” said Kevin. “It's a cooking school and someone poached her eggs, or something.” Jane humored Kevin: “Yeah, next week she's learning coq au vin.” “So they have sex ed in cooking school, too?” said Kevin.
  
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 23): She laughed inwardly for a second before managing to get her legs over the edge of the bed. Her escape was almost complete until Trent pulled her back, keeping her firmly in place within his arms. Perhaps he thought she was someone better looking, older, maybe he thought she was Monique. "Morning Daria," he muttered through closed eyes and a pleased grin.

PPMB turns 10 years old today! Hooray!

Prepare for Fanfic Download....

And for the third post of the day, we have fanfic.

Iron Chef: Social Services intervene at Casa Lane is the newest Iron Chef on PPMB, by Ms. Kinnikufan. The title says all. Give anyone any ideas?

Pinhead once again brings more "Small Jokes" to PPMB. Join in and share the goodness.

PPMB

• The Curse of El Smoocho, by Roentgen (Part 2): "General, I've got two lone ewes without a bell in Sector 16." "Affirmative, dude! Put them in the sheep pen. A rancher will be there in five minutes."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 6: Beautiful, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “What do you... uhhh... what do you think of...” Stacy stuttered so much Finn was starting to lose his patience. He took a deep breath and counted as Stacy tried to get out what she was trying to say.
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 21): The youngest of the Lane family finally arrived home, her eyes oddly red and her hands clutching to her backpack. She didn’t bother to say hello to her brother and just went straight to her room. Once there, she slumped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef and/or Discussion: Gender Bender), by Pinkminx (Part 1): Let me introduce myself. My name is Dean Morgendorffer, I'm a seventeen-year-old high-school student and proud Lawndalian. Okay, I lied: I'm not proud to live in Lawndale, but it sure as hell beat the alternative.
  

As I Want You to Be

I'd much rather stay
home and listen to my
brother practice
the opening to
"Come as You Are."
—Jane Lane, in "The Invitation"

Nirvana's Nevermind was released this day eighteen years ago. Still smells like teen spirit.

A few interesting links for fun:

• Jane's art gallery from an Italian fansite (the art doctored up in an amusing way)
• That 3D image of Daria I posted once, from Lawndale Commons
• That 3D image of Jane (same source)

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• Finn Morgendorffer, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Football tryouts were actually two hours after school, so Finn had time to head home first. Not to his surprise, Daria was not at home. She would not be around to make herself a target for a while, and Finn could only seethe with fury at her performance today.
  
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 12 COMPLETE!): Daria smiled in amusement as she walked from the video store to her mom's Suburban, here she was about to have bad movie night with her sister and Stacy Rowe. If she had ever been in a more absurd situation, she couldn't remember it. The fact she had been busted staring at Stacy's ass made the situation even more amusing.
• Unnamed story, by Teeki (Part 1): "What?" Helen Morgendorffer screeched, "The teleconference is back on?! But Fred, you assured me it wasn't going to happen tonight. I'm supposed to take my daughters shopping." Quinn scowled as her mother listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. "But of course, Fred. Listen, I'll be a little late. Let me get back to the house, get the girls a snack and I'll call in from there. Bye, Fred."
  

One Last Blast from the Past

It's funny to think about it now, but when I began this blog two years ago, I was afraid I would run out of images very quickly. How naïve.

At left, a special image The-N once sent out to those who completed a quiz to show how much like Daria they were, and managed to score right at the top. One of the neater little things The-N had on its site, along with large-size images of Daria and Jane, and huge unique wallpapers.

Garden gnomes! Who doesn't love garden gnomes? I think the image at upper right was from Wildgoose's old site, Hell Is Other People. Was this scene at the Gupty's house? Don't remember where it showed up.

Oh, just a side note: check out the newly expanded Backgrounders webpage for The Head, the clueless nerd who seems to show up everywhere, sometimes twice at the same time. You know Ms. Li's gotta be running a Professor Xavier-type school here with all the mutant time traveling, shape changing, self-duplicating, teleporting kids around this school. My sincere and heartfelt thanks to UU and Pinhead for the images and labor that are slowly transforming the Backgrounders site into a thing of absolute wonder.

Too bad you can't click the image at right and really get Mystik Spiral to show up at your house. This was from an old MTV Daria page. I seem to have a lot of tiny Tank images from all sorts of places.

Where did the Fashion Club like to shop? Just look to the right and find out (another old MTV image for wallpapering).

At left, an excellent screen capture from Is It College Yet? showing Daria and Jane as bff's in the 1920s. They're wearing flapper outfits. Good jump-off image for a time-travel tale. This was from CyberDaria, touched up a bit. Funny, when you read the first couple of paragraphs about flappers on Wikipedia, it does remind you of Jane and Daria. Mostly Jane for me, but your mileage may vary.

At right is an alter ego that might not look familiar to you unless you've played the computer game, Daria's Inferno. In the end credits for the game, as information on the game's publisher (Simon & Schuster) is being given, this picture appears. (It is quite large. Click on it.) It is Mr. O'Neill, of course, dressed as the Simon & Schuster logo. He looks more like an older version of the S&S logo from 1961, but even more like the original source of the logo itself. The S&S logo was based upon a French artist's work from 1850: Jean-François Millet's The Sower, which surprises us nowadays as it was once considered a revolutionary work. During Daria's time, Simon & Schuster was the publishing wing of Viacom, which also owned MTV. And there you have it: an alter ego with a longer-than-expected history and meaning.

Left: A rare screen capture of Jane Lane putting on lipstick. I forgot which episode this was in and on which extinct website I found it. Oh, well. The image came from fan artist extraordinaire Pinhead, and my thanks to him for it. Love the shot. It's actually rather big. I touched it up a little.

Last, we have what I think is an image from the Mystik Spiral rock video, "Freakin' Friends," though I am not sure. Kind of evocative, the lighter and psychedelic background and everything.

Enough for tonight, moar tomorrow at some point.

LATE NOTE: I've just discovered that some of the images I posted today and credited to CyberDaria actually came from a different goldmine, the recovered files and images from the old Triste Monde Tragique website (also French). I have so many new images I'm losing track of their origins. My apologies for the mix-up.

LATE LATE NOTE: Remember the Lawndale High teachers' lounge?

The Way Out WayBack Machine

What else can we drag out of the archives... oh, this is interesting. Karine, of CyberDaria, designed some light switch covers like the one at left. Here we see Quinn, and the switch itself appears to be... ZOMG!! Okay, that is just wrong. (Need a shocked-face smiley, have to make one for times like this.) Whew! Better move along and see what else we have. ("Are you happy to see me, or did you just want the lights on?")

A little reminder at upper right that we do indeed see Daria and Jane praying in the traditional Christian manner during "Daria!" (Something to remember in those arguments about religion in cartoons.) At least no one can say Daria was satanic.

Daria and Jane in 3D? Apparently there was something on CyberDaria showing this. Difficult to recover now, except for the image at right.

Thought you might find this item on the left interesting. There was a palmtop computer game called "Dear Daria" some years ago, which you could download for free from several sources. I had a link to it in the Daria Directory, but the game seems to have vanished in the last two years. Dang. However, I did recover something that might turn out to be the game itself, saved on CyberDaria as a RAR file, so we will see. This amusing GIF shows Daria doing the advertising thing for the game.

Okay, I really like this one at right. Not sure if Karine did this, or MTV, or what. Seems to be a combination of two different images from MTV, maybe someone else can set me straight on that. Great 'shipper artwork! Dead solid perfect.

Ever wonder what Helen's American Access Gold Card looked like, the one she always used to bribe Quinn? This image came from an old MTV Daria site, along with a bunch of other iconic Quinn possessions like her gum machine and T-shirt design. They were meant to be tiled together to form a desktop background. The card seems to be an American Express parody. Anyone remember what other kinds of credit cards Helen and Jake used as bribes? Hard to image that. Did the girls just sign their parents' names, or what?

And now that I've mentioned Quinn's T-shirt design, here it is at left. Imagine having a background all tiled up with this image. Hurts my head to think about it, but women like pink, so who knows.

And Quinn's stuffed Triceratops is at right. (Quinn with a stuffed Triceratops? I always thought that was excellent! If I was six years old, I would SO want one.) And that will close this post out. Amazing what you can find when you just look.