Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Other Bad Todd

In Daria lore, there are Two Bad Todds. One is well known from Beavis and Butt-head : Todd Ianuzzi, a brutal thug and gang leader. You may remember him beating up B&B a few times. Daria was never around him, smart kid. Great for fanfiction if you need muscle to get shot or stomped on.

And then there was Todd K. Feichmann.

You are very unlikely to have heard of this Todd (though I did mention him in this blog a long while ago). He was described only on old MTV Daria websites, and only the WayBack Machine can bring his tale to the present day. Here's what I've learned about him. Long-time fans might remember some of this.

This Todd is primarily known for creating the Lawndale High School website in 1994, for having been picked on a lot by high-school jocks, and for the revenge he took later on. About him, Jodie and Mack wrote:
The Lawndale High School Web site was established in 1994 by Todd K. Feichmann. At that time it consisted of his resume and a 3000-word essay on mutant battle psychology as encountered in the first six levels of DOOM. The scepter was passed to a small cadre of initiates after his graduation, but his spirit and love of nanotechnology still inspires the site today. We hope he is staying on his medication and feeling better about the fact that the simple elegance of UNIX is lost on the vast majority of today's computer users.
What we know about Todd comes from these webpages, some of which are difficult to access. If you click on a link and the webpage vanishes and is replaced by a modern MTV 404 page, try hitting ESCAPE as soon as the old page appears, to freeze it.

As this page shows, Todd created a special website called "Cleatopia.com" for guys he intensely disliked, so they could play fantasy football (Todd's idea of fantasy football, that is). On the webpage is written:
Hello, Kevin! Welcome to the first fantasy football site devoted to local high school jocks like yourself, who have tortured me mercilessly for years, rattling my will and shattering my fragile psyche until all that's left is a resentful, hypersensitive outcast who harbors vengeful visions of triumphant payback. Now I can finally suck your wallets dry and prove my intellectual superiority at the same time.

We also have real time stats, destructive viruses, and annoying clone bots for you to download. Have fun!

Founder and Visionary Todd K. Feichmann
To get to this page, you read Kevin's webpage first, where he dimly writes:
The first time I told Brittany I was spending a lot of time playing Fantasy Football she slapped me. So I explained all I meant was I like to make up imaginary teams for make believe football leagues, and it has nothing to do with daydreaming about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations. But then I started to think about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations and I guess I got a funny look on my face and she slapped me again.

Now I'll have plenty of time this weekend to check out player stats and injury reports and make trades and rethink my roster and order an apology bouquet from 1-800-GROVEL.

My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad. I miss Sporty.

I wonder where he is now?

When I first got into fantasy sports I used to play in leagues based on the NFL, or NCAA conferences. But now there's a new fantasy league that's about what I know best: Carter County High School Football! Did I mention that I'm the QB?

See, this kid named Todd K. Feichmann who helped me with my web page last year decided to put his smartness to non-nerdy use to start the league. And he only charges $29.99 to join: he says he needs the money for something called a particle decelebrator. Some kind of fancy vacuum cleaner, I guess.

Anyway, I'd really be kicking butt in the league if only I hadn't picked myself in the first round of the draft. I would trade myself now but no one wants me. I throw too many interceptions, sometime I get confused and call out phone numbers instead of plays, and I keep tripping over my laces (can't I remember to doubleknot?) I suck, I suck, I suck!

Maybe I shouldn't have drafted me. I guess football is kind of like dating: sometimes you choose the most obvious person under pressure and then you're stuck with them. At least that's what I heard Brittany telling the other cheerleaders. Then they all looked at me and shook their heads.

So Todd had his revenge on jocks, and Kevin never knew it. Sometimes that's for the best.

Wonder what Todd's doing now...

Let's check out the new fanfiction while we think.

  • NEW! Anti-trope, by Pinkminx (Part 1): Forgive me, I think I may need to backtrack a little, let me introduce myself. My name is Dean Morgendorffer, I'm a seventeen year old high school student and proud Lawndalian, okay I lied; I'm not proud to live in Lawndale, but it sure as hell beat the alternative.
  • NEW! Fat Man's Grave, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Parts 1 and 2): Charles Ruttheimer the Third, man of mystery and adventure, as thoroughly and completely disguised from view as The Shadow, clouding the minds of men. Too long have my talents been wasted on childish trivia, too long have the world’s enigmas gone unsolved. It is time for my deeds to be writ large on the world, time for...
  • Finn Morgendorffer 7: History on Skates, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Mr. DeMartino seemed to be devoting his attention to cardio exercises, Finn noticed once he brought himself up to the weight room. Finn wondered briefly why Mr. D simply wouldn’t join a gym and get a trainer for such conditioning, but Finn reasoned that it would require payment, and he certainly wouldn’t do that.
  • NEW! Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Network Connections, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “Mister Mackenzie!” Mack Mackenzie instinctively tensed for a moment as a very familiar voice rang out from behind. “Uh, hello, Ms. Li!” he said.
  • NEW! Regifted, by Ajar (Part 19): “Daria goes to Grove Hills now,” said Jane. “Remember?” “Right,” said Kevin. “It's a cooking school and someone poached her eggs, or something.” Jane humored Kevin: “Yeah, next week she's learning coq au vin.” “So they have sex ed in cooking school, too?” said Kevin.
  • Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 23): She laughed inwardly for a second before managing to get her legs over the edge of the bed. Her escape was almost complete until Trent pulled her back, keeping her firmly in place within his arms. Perhaps he thought she was someone better looking, older, maybe he thought she was Monique. "Morning Daria," he muttered through closed eyes and a pleased grin.
PPMB turns 10 years old today! Hooray!


The Angst Guy said...

I see Todd as a hacker nowadays, from the same class as Trent and Tommy Sherman. Wonder if one of the young adult background people in street scenes could be him. He might have a crazed look (budding mad scientist).

The Angst Guy said...

There are no pictures of him, btw.

Pinhead said...

I do not have time to search. I am occupied by alter-ego processing.

UU said...

And we wish you all kinds of success in it!

Hmmm -- Todd Feichmann, Glenn Eichler... Sounds somewhat similar, no?

The Angst Guy said...

I'm sure no images of this Todd will surface. He was just an unseen backgrounder, about Trent's age.

I need to do another Backgrounder, btw.

UU said...

And I need to translate another article... :-(