Shouldn't Have Had So Much Space Cola!

I see that even aliens are celebrating National Potty Dance Day, and with that many legs I'm sure it will be a very interesting performance. If you are struggling to find a bathroom in time, just remember that you can always pee behind those trees. Take care to watch out for pervert squirrels, though.

Daria should take the opportunity on Multiple Personality Day to check in with Eunice and see how things are going. She might still be sad, or she's just wondering what happened to Daria's contact lenses.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Fat Like Me" first aired. Never mind the somewhat unrealistic "thinly challenged" main plot; I would love to see more of Stacy imitating Tiffany and completely losing her temper. Solid gold comedy right there.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer was daydreaming. She was looking out the window across the quad, vaguely aware of her classmates crossing the grassy expanse to the dining hall."


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "'Stacy?' the Doctor asked. 'Yes,' Quinn answered. 'She reacted to the flicker in an unusual way.'"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 3): "'Now, Daria,' Jake said as Daria packed a duffle bag. 'You know New York isn’t like Lawndale, right?'"


• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 2): "To say Daria had a favorite class would mean some degree of caring about school at all, something the teen just didn't have the energy for...but if she had to pick the one she tolerated the most, it would have to be DiMartino's English class."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 2): "Daria's eyes shot open after her alarm rang noisily, leading to her smacking the clock."


• Like a Chicken Running Around With It's Head Cut Off, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was just like any other day for Tom Sloane, giving his girlfriend Daria a visit, thinking he could and should invite himself in for a evening of 'Sick, Sad World,' assuming she would be comfortable with it. He knocked on the door and waited."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up feeling utterly dejected. With a groan, she put on her robe, went to her boudoir, and got a bottle of pills."


• Who Needs a Boyfriend When You Got Her?, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Tom thought he understood Jane Lane."


• Writing Lines (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "'And that is all for today,' said Professor Flitwick said as the half-hour rolled around. 'Please make sure that you have read through chapter 16 of your textbooks and don’t forget to practice what we’ve learned today!'"

"Isn't one of you enough?"

Looks like Quinn is celebrating Multiple Personality Day with her absolute favorite person in the entire world. If you have a Eunice within, let her out for a little while today! Especially if she keeps crying.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. I have mixed feelings about the way body image issues are handled in this one, but I can't help but laugh whenever I hear Quinn shout "Did Cleopatra rest when she was inventing mascara? Did Neferiti rest when she was posing for statues? Did Helen of Troy rest when she was doing whatever it was she did? Beauty never rests! Now, swim, you cow, swim!" Classic.

Fanfic Update!

• ATTENTION WHORE MAGIC, by SPEEDCOREIDOLATER (parts 1 and 2): "'3...2...1...' Daria Morgendorffer knew her sister incredibly well - though to be fair, reading Quinn wasn’t exactly a daunting task." (Part 2)


• Café of Contention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Class, I thought today we'd take a break from the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet to discuss the real-life tragedy that happened last night here in Lawndale. Let's share our feelings of violation following the loss of our beloved cybercafé, alt.lawndale.com. Who would like to start?'"


• Daria: Spin The Bottle, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "After walking by Axl’s piercing and tattoo parlor, Daria decided that while she was done shopping for the day, she’d have to talk to Mom and Dad about getting her ears pierced."


• Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (part 6): "The funeral was scheduled for ten o’clock that morning. Daria had called Jane the night before to give her the time and place."


• They're Standing on My Neck, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The alley behind the Zon did not smell quite as bad as Daria had anticipated. Perhaps the cheap dead cigarettes covered the urine, or perhaps the beer had diluted the latter to the point that it was mostly water."

Which Is My Best Personality? I Know They're Both Good.

I think maybe Quinn is having a little too much fun for Multiple Personality Day, especially because she's currently recreating Daria's worst nightmare. Everyone be extra nice to the Eunice inside, okay?

Today is also the anniversary of the episode Fat Like Me, which aired on this day in 2001. Sandi battling weight gain was okay, Daria and Jane's betting B-plot was meh, but the real high point of the episode was Stacy completely losing her shit at Tiffany in the girls' restroom. That whole scene is a classic.

Fandom News!

• Talk about cult classic movies people should see at least once in their lifetimes.


• bailey0799 posted a new Iron Chef: Postcards From Amy.


• Ai Rad shared her first cosplay photo.

"Isn't one of you enough?"

Quinn's taking Multiple Personality Day a little too far, but maybe she's just letting out the Eunice inside. No doubt Daria would be horrified by extra Quinn personalities, unless one of them was actually worth putting up with. It could happen, right?

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. One of Quinn's more compassionate personalities showed kindness to Sandi by helping her lose weight, although a little manipulation from Daria may have had something to do with it.

Speaking of the (other) f-word, today is also Mardi Gras, AKA "Fat Tuesday." Daria will likely pass on the parade, and the parties, and the...well, everything, I suppose.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 2): "Timing was everything in football especially for a QB, because it could make or break the game."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 56 and 57): "So this is Texas, she said to herself with a wry grin. It doesn't look a bit like the Wild West or those glamorous high-rise office towers she'd seen on that No-Maj television program." (Part 57)


• Don't Shoot The Messenger, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "Dara took a controlled breath, a final glance at the handwritten notes held in her hands, and began."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 20): "Erin woke refreshed. For the first time in a week she has gone to bed early and woken without an alarm. A dinner of pain-killers and ice cream may have helped. She lay in bed, thinking."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 27): "Hardly believing her eyes, Daria walked over to the scene at the porn factory where Beavis, Butt-head, Upchuck, and DeMartino all gathered."


• Freefall, by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "The first thing Tori noticed was the coolness of the tile floor against her cheek. The second was the splitting headache." (Part 10) (Part 11)


• An Honest Musician, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "Although I love her and she makes me so proud, I just can't keep up the pretense That us being together can ever go well - frankly it just don't make sense"


• Judith and Holofernes, by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Morgendorffer house. Quinn's room. Quinn is laying on her bed, her head resting in Daria's lap. The younger girl is holding Moby-Dick in front of her eyes, reading aloud while Daria gently runs her fingers through her hair." (Part 2)


• The Kindness of Strangers, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "The brutal shove wasn't actually that painful. The impact was cushioned by the grass."


• K9 and Cynicism: A Girl's Best Alibi (Iron Chef: Daria's Talking Dog), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "Daria watched patiently as the rioting mob swept out of the coffee house, shuffled her papers and stepped down from the stage. Everyone was out now, either to trying to take down the nearest Russian embassy or stop them from taking down the nearest embassy."


• Life Is A Four-Letter Word, by YouthofOz (parts 3 - 7): "Both Daria and Jane had, for various reasons too numerous to describe here, mastered the art of inscrutable blank expressions when they observed the inane insanity of the world around them." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• No Rain, by Lady Evil (part 37): "'What do you want, Daria's sister?' 'My name is Quinn.' she sighed. 'Answer the question or get off my porch.'"


• Sappy Birthday, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim's Paintballing Jungle was now Kara's Wild Family Fun Center. The facilities included a water park, a mini golf course, a go kart track and a video arcade. Inside the arcade we find Jim, Quinn, Daria, Tommy, Teddy, Timmy, Sandi, Stacy, Chuck, Chucky, Q, Kevin, Brittany, Daryl, Ultra, Lauren, Kevin Jr., Chris, Lindy,Jason, Chan, Ming, Michelle, Mack, Helen, Jake and several others seated at a table." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Smells Like Teen Spirit, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Say what you want about Brittany, but she does put on one hell of a party,' Jane spoke to Daria once they'd entered the huge house once again."


• Talking dog? (Iron Chef: Daria's Talking Dog), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer re-read the email. The shiver it sent down her neck was part thrill, part chill. She had thought that part of her life was over, irrevocably sealed shut. Apparently not."


• Three Devils, by atiyatortilla (part 2): "Brightly lit storefronts gazed out at Daria as she walked the streets of what passed as downtown for upper middleclass suburbanites."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (parts 171 - 173): "The airstrip was very busy as supplies were moved on the Gridrunner in preparation for the Legion's trip back east. The back cargo door of the craft had been lowered and crates were being carried on board." (Part 172) (Part 173)

"Isn't one of you enough?"

Quinn's taking Multiple Personality Day just a little too far, but you can celebrate by getting in touch with the Eunice inside. You might want to give her a hug if she's feeling particularly sad today.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. That episode showed us that Quinn and Sandi can actually be kind of sweet together when they want to be. It also taught us a whole lot of synonyms for money.

Fanfic Update!

• The Appointment, by elainefr (part 7): "'Okay, I'm here. Now what was so damn important that it couldn't wait until next weekend or something?' Daria asked of her best friend, mother, and father that were sitting in the Morgendorffer kitchen waiting for her."


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 10): "Carrie drove as Kira handled the YouTube comments on their latest video. They were following 245th avenue approaching West Bullhead Road when a cop car appeared behind them, lights going, siren whooping a couple of times, the driver pointing to the right."


• Filters, by tafka (part 1): "'Mom, I think you need to have a look at this.' 'What is it Quinn?' 'I found it on a website. I was talking about Daria in the fashion forums and someone gave me this link.'"


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 2 and 3): "'No, mom, I am not going to be able to make it down to the memorial service.' 'Because, mom. Since they've grounded all air traffic, the trains are packed, and Jane can't get time off to drive me down.'" (Part 3)


• The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "Having purged the cess-pool that was and still is Lawndale High from my brain several years ago, I needed a powerful enough jolt to pull my mind back there, away from the war and the economy—the kind of jolt that only comes from some catastrophic fuck-up clearly visible to distant galaxies."


• Mystikal Holiday Tour, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "The Holidays came to the last verse of the last song of their last set and Guy Fawkes Day brought his guitar down hard on the stage shattering it as the assembled lesser holidays cheered from the floor of Holiday Island High's gym."


• Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Good afternoon,' Sandi greeted him pleasantly after opening the door to let him in. 'Thank you for coming.' David double-checked the address on his list. This is the right place, and that looks like Sandi, but...."


• Tom Sloane and the Diabolical Duo!, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane was on his way back from a snack run at the local Food Lord when he decided to turn on the radio. Might as well listen to some tunes, he thought as he pressed the radio's power button."

Which Is My Best Personality? I Know They're Both Good.

Quinn and her alter ego are reminding each other to celebrate Multiple Personality Day today. Oh, if only Quinn did have multiple personalities. Then she wouldn't have to decide which of the three Js to date.

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of "Fat Like Me" in 2001. In this episode, the Fashion Club finds out why it's a bad idea to tell Sandi to "break a leg." We also get to watch Daria and Jane develop a bit of a gambling problem.

Fanfic Update!

• The Aches of a Young Artist in Love, by Snow-Kitty (COMPLETE!): "Jane sat staring into the glowing and crackling fireplace, contemplating the somewhat magical evening she had shared with whom she had thought to be the most interesting man she had ever met."


• Alienation, by malakite (part 11): "Daria felt the echo of crude and direct mental manipulation. Then she saw it. Even in the dim light, the boy seemed too young. Younger than Daria. Maybe younger than Quinn. His aura was a mess of confusion and excitement."


• Evening, by JPAGC (part 2c): "'So how do you like my stew?' asked Jake a little too brightly, a full glass of wine again in his hand. Another awkward silent moment passed, with all avoiding making eye contact. The stew portions on each respective plate were basically untouched."


• Friday Night Exchange, by GlitterShrooms (part 2): "She had spotted Jodie at her locker. It had already been two weeks since she and Mack had broken up. While it was certainly not unusually for the two to break up, Quinn couldn't remember the last time that they waited this long before getting back together. Now might be her best chance...Her only chance."


• Hot Daria, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "She stared him down, freezing him in his spot, before fixing her eyes on the other girl. She was small and thin with very discernible 'assets'. Brittany was sure she had her beat in that department, however, the girl was naturally beautiful."


• Jane's Absence, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "As they entered the ward and asked for Jane they were stopped by the nurse stationed outside the room who informed them that visiting was restricted to family members only" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Left Unsaid, by LuxKen27 (COMPLETE!): "He remembered the first time he'd kissed her: the sweetness of her lips a pleasing contrast to the taste of beer on her tongue; running his hand through her hair and curling his fingers over her neck, feeling her skin flush with heat beneath his touch."


• Mad Dog's Blessing (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn got knocked up again?' Elsie drawled in her smokers voice as she sculpted her latest sculpture. 'Yup.' Daria drawled in her monotone as she contemplated a couple plotbunnies for a story."


• Once You See, by lulamae-golightly (part 8): "She continued to stare, a heat slowly forming in her stomach, her chest, her head. It was burning, screaming, worse than ever. An anger. A rage. Burning."


• The Only Pair, by SentrytheDefiant (part 2): "'I'm sure you've seen him. He's hard to miss. He's incredibly tall, great arms. I normally don't care for long hair and his clothes need work-I mean who wears camouflage pants? But he's definitely an 8. He's in our lunch.' 'Richard?!' Quinn nearly toppled out of bed."


• Renewment, by RLobinske (part 2): "Helen sat back in her seat with a slight frown, causing Amy to ask, 'What's up?' 'Oh, this talk of children reminds me of how much I miss my girls. Now that I have plenty of time, they have their own lives on opposite sides of the country.'"


• The Thousand and One Club (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Tom walked into Fielding Academy one morning and felt like something was different. Maybe it was the smell of flowers in the air, maybe it was all the trees on campus starting to grow back their leaves, or maybe it was the murdered corpses of all his fellow students littering the halls."


• Yes Ma'am (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Daria had been suspicious about this so called 'date' for a while. Robert getting her name wrong and talking to her using cue cards were big warning signs. Yet, as she looked at his chiseled jawline and athletic frame, a very unfamiliar feeling was stirring inside her."

Have Any of Your Personalities Ever Fallen Down a Flight of Stairs?

Today is National Multiple Personality Day! Celebrate by finding the Eunice within, and tell her to stop being so sad all the time.

This is also the twelfth anniversary of the airing of "Fat Like Me" in 2001. Sandi became thinly challenged, and she and Quinn shared a bonding moment that was actually kind of touching. D'awww.

Fanfic Update!

• Alternate Ending (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Do you remember way back in high school?' Daria asked."


• Another bit on my Addams crossover, by Ranger Thorne (part 6): "The house sat back from the road, with a small swamp between it and the black iron fence that ran around the property. A slight fog seemed to be rolling in from both sides of the house, and the sky had somehow become overcast."


• Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 10): "The sand was slowly falling through the hourglass. Daria stared intently at a piece of red granite. Her face was devoid of any emotions, but her body spoke of intense concentration."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 5): "After a very well earned break from Tara Gilesbie's atrocity, the group was forced to conceed to reality and get back to reading the story. Which the mere thought of made Daria feel nauseous, she had been hoping that exposure would have rendered her numb to it. No such luck."


• Excuse Me, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Excuse me,' Daria groaned. A large, bulky man grumbled, 'What?'"


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (prologue): "A sudden flash of blue light covered the entire town and some of the outlying areas in a perfect circle. Once the light vanished, the saucer was gone. About a couple moments later, panic began to grip the town as absolutely everyone realized that something had changed about them. Something big..."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "'What's happened?' Kristen asked. 'Jennifer's stuck. For the moment, anyway.' 'That's... not good,' Kristen considered. She hoped that someone would wish away that pile of food before too long..."


• Losers No More, by Shiva (part 12): "David turned and knocked on the door, and discovered that it was slightly ajar. Sitting at his desk was Benjamin Bentley, balding head and all. 'Listen we'll talk later.' Benjamin said to what David assumed was an employee before hanging up."


• Nothing Compares 2 U-238 (Conjoined Twins Iron Chef Contest), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, STUDents,' snarled Mr. DeMartino from the front, 'let's take this as an opporTUNity for those of you to prove yourself of having more inTELLigence and perhaps more persoNALity than a bowl of beet BORSCHT!' 'Class,' covered Mr. O'Neill from his left side, 'what he means is that this is just a small stepping stone on the path to self-consciousness and esteem. And even if failing is inevitable, it won't be held against you.'"


• Placement Test (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Jane?' Daria asked, gently pushing her Dixie paper plate towards the side, 'is it me or does something feel weird?'"


• Please God, Make It Stop, Make It End, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Monique stepped inside the torture chamber, where Trent was strapped up to a chair, wires leading into his ears. His head was angled down and snot dangled from his nose."


• The Secret Lives Of Us (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Paraphilia from the Greek para meaning beside and philia meaing to love. Attraction to people, objects or situations that are not part of a normative sexual discourse. Everyone has a dirty little secret."


• Suicide Tea, by BrownEyedBagel (parts 1 and 2): "The door abruptly opening shook her from the state of mind she was in, and the figure entering shattered it completely. He was a tall and lean man with short red hair. He was wearing a black suit that appeared expertly pressed and he stepped forward as if the world would step aside to make his path clear." (Part 2)


• Tales of Big Sis: Tea Party (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn were once again sniping at each other, 'Brat!' Daria said. 'Brain!' Quinn said. If they knew who just walked in the door they would have stopped arguing sooner."


• Twin Tracks (chapter 3), by oni (part 4): "Putting down her burger, Jane slowly let out, 'This maybe just a coincidence but a friend of mine got hurt near the end of last year from someone that came from Tampa.' Tomie started to raise eyebrow in a questioning manor. 'And this person that came from there was a high school dropout."


• Two Non-Fiction Accounts (Non-Daria), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "It was a summer day at around two-o-clock. I was with a group of students on the streets of the downtown part of my home city. The groups were composed of various ages and races. We were to be split into two to cover more ground."


• Unnamed story (A MLP: FIM fanfic by ST91 ( in search fo a title )), by ST91 (prologue): "A figure covered by a hooded cloak observes impassively the events showed by the mirror. 'So ... Princess Twilight Sparkle.' A laugh echoed in the halls of the castle and throughout the city ... a laugh so chilling that would freeze the blood to whoever heard."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You never got it, Kiki.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva: "Ever since that fateful day when the unidentified flying object had flown over Lawndale and had flashed a strange light over the town, the people were coping with the... changes that had come about."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Uphuck?' asked Daria. 'Will you please marry me?'"


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, Daria.' 'Jane?' Moving faster, Daria found her friend crouching on a bed of old newspaper, entirely nude. Daria faltered, still several feet away."


• Veronica's Story : The Highland Years, by ST91 (part 2): "Little Veronica, happy as only a little girl of two years may be, was trotting here and there followed at a short distance by Daria and Amy. Very happy with that arrangement was seven year old Quinn. Great! With that damn brat out of the way mom and dad will be only mine."


• Veronica's Story : The Highland Years mini, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "It had been a few days since Veronica had said her first word, "Dah-ia" and from that moment the whole family anxiously waited for the girl's next words."


• The Walking Brain-Dead, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Everybody get in the car now!' Jake screamed. He stuck his father's M1 Garand out his bedroom window and took another shot at the zombies. Blood and brains splattered the asphalt of Glenn Oaks lane, but the zombies kept coming."


• Wedding, Don't Care (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Aunt Judith walked down the aisle in her predictable princess wedding gown, everyone in the chapel watched with tears in their eyes at the perfect, romantic aura of the Morgendorffer/Steele wedding."

Is This What You'd Call Letting Out the "You-ness Inside"?

Today is Multiple Personality Day, so go right ahead and be as many people as you want to be. Unfortunately for Daria, all of her personalities are just as cynical and unsociable as she is, so none of them are on speaking terms at the moment.

This is also the anniversary of the original air date of the episode "Fat Like Me" in 2001, in which Sandi's own personality stayed much the same while her outer self expanded by at least (gasp) two dress sizes!

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 4): "QUINN: There you go again. Why do you have to be so negative all the time? The Centennial's coming, things are great in the colonies, Earth's environment's getting better and people are so happy. Why not you? DARIA: I guess I'm just ahead of the times."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (part 2): "'We could overhear the conversation you had over the phone with my mom,' Sandi said while her girlfriend was comforting her. Stacy knew Sandi had a troubled home life, but only after over hearing Helen talk to Linda about Sandi’s transition from middle school to high school, did the she fully understand how bad her mother screwed her daughter up. Upon knowing this, Stacy tightened her grip with Sandi’s hands, interlacing the fingers."


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 6 and 7): "Darth Maladi: Nods 'Well, your world has an interesting mix of cultures, that’s for sure. For the most part, your level of technology should have been the result of discoveries that thoroughly disprove the religious mythologies that tend to arise prior to them and therefore make everyone in that culture highly sceptical of religious mythologies, I mean, what’s going on here?'" (Part 7)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 1c): "As he stepped up to the podium with his certificate in hand, there was a scattering of applause—and Paper-Pellet Boy, who was sitting in the centre of the front row, began a fusillade of ear-splitting whistles and thunderous drumming of his feet, embarrassing the rest of the audience almost as much as he embarrassed Dylan, so that they all fell silent. Desperately, Dylan looked around the hall in every other direction—and saw one person who definitely couldn’t be taught anything about self-esteem."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 1): "Quinn was outnumbered by half the Dirty Decade with only Burnout as her backup, and Burnout just smoked a fat one a minute ago so she’d soon have no backup, but she met their eyes and showed no fear. 'Suck your turf, I go where I want! Cos that’s how I roll!' 'Yo, we ‘bout to roll you outta dis world,' said Big Dee, the whitest guy who ever whited, before he fall over groaning because Hellion Wheels had kicked him in the crotch from behind."


• Helen at Law (Iron Chef: Helen is made Partner), by DIsaac (part 1): "'Helen should have been partner for a long time now. That women has more drive then any lawyer I have ever seen in my career but Davis with no ball having self and those damn Schrecters who could handle having a women out doing them voted down that partnership deal. I say damn them! That is why I've asked you here gentlemen.' Jim continued."


• Into the Black, Into the Blue (Chapter 1), by Lord Yellowtail (part 4): "'It’s all backwards,' Bright Eyes murmured, almost fearfully. 'Their moon is in the right place, but the sun ...' She stared off into the distance, looking at a golden-white sphere. 'Is it moving around the sun?' Luna sighed, nuzzling her little friend slightly. 'Fear not. I should have prepared you for this. What you see is in fact the natural order of things: moons orbit planets, planets orbit their stars, and stars orbit the galactic core.'"


• The Inviteation (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Brittany nervously eyed the refreshments table, where Daria was gorging herself on all the food and drink she and Kevin had set out before the party. She had scared all the other guests off from partaking of the food, and now she was worried that her party would be a flop if things continued on their course. So, screwing up her courage, she cautiously approached Daria."


• Irony Maiden 00, by BF110C4 (part 1): "Daria always loved to wake up to the smell of strong fresh coffee, an habit that she had developed during her years at the M.I.T. and then reinforced during her post grade at Raft. Knowing this Amy had left one cup ready at the coffeemaker inside her room/library in the Penthouse of the Stark Industries Tower, and apparently already disposed of Robert."


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 12): "Behind the heavy, ornate desk sat a large man wearing an impeccable, imported suit. 'Have a seat, Helen,' he said. When she was seated, Jim Vitale added, 'And please, call me Jim.' Caught off-guard, Helen said, 'Oh, yes, of course. Jim.' 'Excellent.' 'What can I do for you today?' Jim said, 'Nothing. Today is about what we are going to do for you.'"


• A Mothers Love, by ash_blackfire (part 9): "Trent’s thoughts were stopped as he heard a slam of the front door with a bellowing 'TRRREEENNNTT!!!' About three seconds later the basement door came flying open with Jane running down the stairs eyes wide and frantic as she rushed up to him. 'How many sisters do you have?!' Jane said with eyes showing seriousness he had never seen before."


• Pie Night at Daria's (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'You know, maybe we are rushing into this,' Daria finally concluded. 'Forget I brought it up.' She and Tom had been discussing going to the 'next level' in their relationship, and while she had at first decided to go through with it, had been thrown back into full-on Reluctance Mode after finding Tom carried a condom around in his wallet, of all places."


• Quinn's Wish (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked around bloody and satisfied. She'd survived this competition and now it was time for her to get her wish. She would finally be the most popular person on the planet. Everyone would love her."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 8, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Slipping into her usual clothes, Sandi Griffin sighed and picked up her cell phone, sliding through the numbers until she reached that of her Science Teacher. Although she really, truly didn't want to talk to her teacher - she had no one else to talk to and she really, really needed some advice."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 9, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Part of her really regretted not accepting the aid of Ms. Barch. Most of her regretted it actually. Whatever madness came over her to be in charge of her own situation made her more and more panicked at every thought. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready to deal with the situation or responsibility of turning into a giant uncontrollable beast capable of tearing apart a human male... [let alone a really nice dress from Cashmans]."


• Substitute (Iron Chef - Goddess of Sarcasm), by januense (COMPLETE!): "'Twisted ... really, really twisted ... I'm so proud of you. Can I take some pictures if the test goes well?' 'Be my guest. By the way, talking about twisted things... this is the letter that came with the parcel. This IS twisted and really strange....'"


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'It means that Miss Manson is someone who can’t remember my first name and distinguish sarcasm from anguish. It is no wonder I have low esteem for everyone else.' At this point while getting her stenographer notebook out of her green jacket and tearing a couple of pages from it, Daria answer her mother’s statement. Throwing a last remark while slamming the pages on the table Daria finally leaves the room. 'Why don’t you ask your assistant to translate this for you, and then ask me who to blame for my troubles, mom?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'I had won the Twisted Metal Contest, and all it cost me were two of my best friends. We had been through a lot togeather, and what we went though in the tournament said a lot about our friendship. After all the other drivers were dead, we went to see Calypso about our prize....'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "She had won finally after all the death and destruction she was victorious. Now she could claim her prize as the youngest winner in Twisted Metal History. Now Brittney would have her prize she stood before Calypso on his throne of car parts ready to make her wish."


• Unwanted (Iron Chef: Psycho Therapy), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn ran without letting them know she'd overheard the conversation. Mom thought there was something wrong with her. It didn't come as any big surprise. She'd always known Daria was the favorite. Daria was the smart one. Daria was the clever one. All she had was looks. She'd all but admitted it to Daria when she'd been stupid enough to let Daria follow her around with a video camera. She'd already known, so why did it hurt so much to hear it."


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 8): "Seeing Quinn's eyes, and the myriad of battling emotions within, shock, hurt, anger and – in slowly growing measure – relief, compelled me to action; setting the knife on the counter then rounding the breakfast nook separating us, I went to my Sister. Carefully, reassuringly, I placed my hands on Quinn's shoulders and pulled her close 'I've missed you, can you forgive me for leaving?'"


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 2): "'Ms. Mason don’t listen to her; she says this phrase every time she goes to a psychologist.' 'Daria have you been visited on other occasions?' asked a worried Ms Manson. 'Well...' started to say Daria. 'Yes she was. And a lot of times. She’s like suicidal or something.' 'I’M NOT SUICIDAL.' shouted a very angry Daria snapping from the chair."


• X-men: Daria’s Evolution, by Reven384 (part 6): "'We can’t overlook things any more. I was content to be left alone but they wouldn’t leave our family along,' Amanda said, 'So now we must fight. Xavier doesn’t want to acknowledge that there is a war going on. We are the victims here and we have a right to defend ourselves using any means necessary.' 'At what cost,' Trent said leaving but not before hearing Mystique state, 'If we do nothing next time your sister may actually die.'"

"Poor Sandi. Crutches don't go with anything."

The episode "Fat Like Me" aired on this day ten years ago. A rare Sandi-centric episode, although the focus was at least partially shared with Quinn. It also had one of my all-time favorite lines from Stacy, who finally snaps after being forced to put up with Tiffany for too long. (And really, who wouldn't?)

How come? Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of doing all the work while you just sit there. I tried my best, and even if it wasn't as good as Sandi's or Quinn's, a chain is only as strong as its weakest round thingy, and you refused to lift one freaking finger! I'm through running the Fashion Club all by myself while you staaare...in the mirror...and taaalk...about yourself...and I--I--I quit!

A few people have written alternate versions of "Fat Like Me," including Greystar's "Empirical Evidence" (the first part of his The Longest Year series, which is still in need of serious pitchforking) and Di/LadieT's The Weight of Conscience, in which the episode takes a darker turn.

While we're on the subject of fanfic, here's the latest update:

• Bound to Highland, by RLobinske (part 6): "'I really hate judges and lawyers.' 'Hate them all you want,' Helen said. 'But you've got to live with them right now.' Todd looked around at the empty courthouse steps and pulled a pistol from his front pant's pocket. 'Maybe not.'"


• Camp Pu, by Smijey (parts 1 and 2): "'It's not an emergency hike, children, it's just a drill.' Mr. Potts, the head counselor, had appeared behind Chip to reassure his charges. 'We like to, ah, keep you on your toes here at Camp Grizzly, heh heh.' Daria eyed Mr. Potts closely. He didn't sound as cheery as he was trying, and his eyes showed fear, instead of the easy-goingness of his smile. Even his chuckle sounded more nervous than mirthful. 'Something's wrong,' she muttered to herself." (Part 2)


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 13: Paper Towels and Open Flames Don't Mix, by LadieT (part 5): "Sandi and the rest of the Fashion Club arrived shortly before noon. They looked around the suite in approval. She noticed Dorian sitting out on the balcony reading the newspaper. Just as she was about to go out there to speak to him, Jane walked past her wearing a red bikini top and shorts with an Elvis beach towel wrapped around her waist and carrying a CD player. Sandi growled under her breath as she watched Jane take the seat next to Dorian. Quinn and Stacy entered the living room to see Sandi staring at Dorian and Jane."


• Dreams, by Chris Tucker: "'What happened?' 'You had The Greyfield Dream in your dorm room, you woke up, but you didn't snap out of it, you kept yelling and crying and from what Connie told me you were yelling, I recognized what it was from when you told me about it. Connie called me and I had her call 911. You're in Brigham and Women's Hospital.'"


• Dynasty, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The boy stepped into the room, full of old draperies and books that the boy was forbidden to read. He always wanted to look at the drawings inside but his father always locked the books in the cabinet and the butler had the key to the room, so that was that. The boy's imagination never failed to turn to the books behind the glass cabinet. 'Son,' the man said, 'I have heard that - what is that? WHAT IS THAT?'"


• For Better or For Worse, For Richer or For Poorer, by Kristen Bealer (parts 3 and 4): "Erin winced at a sudden twinge when the masseuse pressed too hard on a tense spot. Trying again to relax, she decided to clear her mind completely. It lasted about thirty seconds. Oh, God. What if I end up like her, though? What if I just dump guys every time we have a little trouble? I mean, if I can't make this relationship work, who says I can make the next one work, either? The pill bottle flickered through her thoughts. If there even will be a next one." (Part 4)


• The Future We Choose/Anticipate This, by psychotol (part 1): "'Our interest is rather specific, they recently had an advantage over you, right?' 'Yeah, they had those aberrants and a precog that only seemed to communicate over the phone,' said the man. Wanda and Tiffany refrained from commenting on his use of the word 'Aberrant', although Tiffany was thinking of exiting through the wall next to the door when it came time to leave."


• Griffin 3:16 (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "It's Monday night... Mom's working late, Dad has taken Sam and Chris to the Orioles game, Quinn's on a date, Stacy's at counselling and Tiffany... who knows? I'm all alone tonight. Perfect."


• It Happened One Gut (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey: "Kevin looked worriedly at Daria, who had been pounding down peanuts for the past half-hour. He had tried to sneak a few for himself to start, but Daria had growled at him and almost made him weewee himself. She was starting to look a little sick. And if Kevin Thompson could notice something as subtle as Daria looking sick, well, you could bet it wasn't very subtle at all."


• Lawndale Seven Chapter Two, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Eight feet high, build like a gorilla, eight hundred pounds of muscles, bones and thick white fur was Keviin a giant in a world built by dwarfs. And the only Trogg on Lawndale Seven as far as they knew. The only problem was, was that he also had a brain the size of a human fist. Not to say that he was dumb, on the contrary, for a Trogg he had to be considered a genius, but compared to the more intelligent species of the universe he was just above a pet. And sometimes not even that."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 3: The Old Middleton Try, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'I saw a flyer for a college prep course that the high school is doing this week. Maybe we could sign the girls up for that.' 'Not a bad idea,' Jake said, then looked at the stairs. 'I just hope that the girls will be able to handle the idea.' 'Of a prep course?' 'Of being without us.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 4: angst.lawndale.com, by Hyrin (part 1): "'Damn it, Jane! I'm not going to let you just run away from me! You're my best friend, and I'll see myself burning in a deeper ring of Hell before I lose you too!' They both froze, shocked by Daria's outburst. 'I'm your what?' Jane asked in a low whisper. 'You're my best friend,' Daria said emphatically, stressing each word. 'And I'll be damned before I lose you.'"


• Negajane's Bad Day ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Negajane walked into the next reality, annihilation sphere ready, saying 'Okay, so what..........' Daria and Butt-head looked up: 'Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh' Quinn and Beavis did too: 'Heh heh heh heh heh heh'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 8): "'I don't hate you - Daria might - but I don't. I should, with the way you hurt Daria by not being there for us, but I can't. See, as much as you piss me off, I still have a twisted air of respect for you. Daria wouldn't be here,' Jane said as her hand made a swooping motion above her, 'without you. I'm happy and married to the woman I love because of you. So to me, you'll always be Mrs. Morgendorffer - unless you get your head out of your ass, then Daria and I might start calling you mom,' Jane's deep blue eyes were staring directly at Helen, unmoving and unblinking."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'...So, you see, Stacy, when the world ends, it's not a question of where will you be ... You need to address the more important question: What will you wear? You need to know how to dress for disaster. Start with the basic black dress. Yes, it'll work there too.'"


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "He leans forward, puts his fingertips together, and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. 'Silent Hill is what is going on here,' he says. 'Not the town itself, but the area in which it is located. I could go into the long, boring historical details, but suffice it to say that strange events have been taking place here for centuries. The most common of these occurrences would be the mysterious disappearances.'" (New Part)


• Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick: "'Whoa,' Jane breathed as she regarded her friend with calculating eyes. 'I've never seen you lay into someone like that. What the hell'd he do to piss you off, anyway?' Daria's lips were pressed into a thin line as she spun the dial and pulled open the door of her locker. 'Never mind,' she replied in a tart voice as she switched out books and slammed her locker shut. 'I just wish I had never laid eyes on the asshole in the first place.'"


• Situation Update ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): ""Those are members of the Legion," the man spoke. "Michael Jordan Mackenzie... and Daria Morgendorffer." "No," the second voice corrected him. "The individuals we are viewing are 1st Lt. Michael James Mackenzie - Third Texas Infantry, Army of the Free Christian Republic of Texas - and that world's version of Daria Morgendorffer." "That world's - this is an alternate reality?""


• Someone Else's World, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I change things and... oh.' She smiled, coldly. 'I see. Yes, I see it now.' 'Daria?' 'There was a reason I came here.' 'Daria, you're scaring m-'"


• Stomach of Darkness (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey: "Jane looked up from her sculpture to see Daria wolfing down her supply of gummy bears. 'Damnit!' Jane cried out. 'Daria, you do know you're eating my art supplies, right? The ones I told you I was going to microwave to paint my sculpture, right?'"


• Summer Fling, by GingerLove84 (part 6): "DARIA: Isn't it amazing how I've spent most of my life listening you tell me how I need to open up to people. I need to make more friends, find a nice boy to date. I finally listen on both accounts and now you're telling me I need to cut myself off from them? HELEN: I would hardly call Jesse a nice boy Daria... DARIA: Really? (Bt) How much do you really know about him?"


• Terror on Dega Street, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Before either one of them could formulate an appropriate response, the shape reappeared and leaped from the roof of the short building, plummeted down into the alley, and landed squarely on the roof of their car, denting it and cracking all of the windows with the force of impact. It was a girl. A young girl by the looks of it, wearing a mostly denim outfit. She crouched on the car's roof, every muscle tensed in preparation, looking almost like a tiger ready to strike. A paintball gun hung from her shoulders by a heavy duty strap, and her face was completely concealed by a paintball mask."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Addicted to "being special"), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Yes, Mr. Sheen! Of course, Mr. Sheen!' Daria hung up her phone and turned to speak to her friend Jane."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "She gets out of bed, leaves her room and quietly makes her way downstairs to the kitchen. She gets a soda and returns to her room, locking the door behind her, and stuffing a towel at the bottom of the door from edge to edge."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'No no no, it's too late for that turtle thing to work now, Morgendorffer! Out with it, or I shall have to fetch young Miss Quinn and her torture devices.' At first it looked like Daria was simply going to continue staring at her own lap, but finally she looked up in mock horror. 'Not . . . the curling iron?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by Stripey (COMPLETE!): "Jake shook the jar, opened it, and smelled the salty, tangy scent of the contents. He carefully tipped them the waiting bowl. The clear glass held the precious gems and showed off the green skins to brilliant effect. He reached a finger forwards, carefully looked left and right to be sure no one was watching, then plucked one up and popped it in his mouth. Mmmm, happiness. "


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by untra (COMPLETE!): "Helen didn't know what to do. This one moment of time was suddenly free to her. She didn't know what she would do with that time. Organize my office? Empty the trash? Talk to my fellow backstabbing coworkers? She sighed and sat down in front of her computer. She opened up her internet browser and thought of something to do."


• Worldhopper, Chapter 3, by Erin M. (part 2): "Daria skidded to a halt as she saw the armored PPP troops and a couple of Tiffanitos enter the end of the alley in front of her. She took a quick look behind her and cursed silently as the other two goons that had followed her on the street slowly advanced on her. All of them were drawing their weapons. Daria frantically looked around for some sort of escape, but couldn't see one. She was trapped."

"Ooo, my leg!"

"Fat Like Me" came to the little screen nine years ago today on MTV. Daria and Jane's part in the story was lame (sorry, I know), but Sandi and Quinn got to change their relationship. This point has been discussed here before, so click on "fat like me" in the Labels section for more.

Sandi could have wound up with injuries far more severe than a broken leg. Not really sure if that would make much difference to the story, though, unless she was wheelchair-bound for years later. Otherwise, same old thing.

What if nothing had happened to her whatsoever, though? What if she should have been hurt, but wasn't? Having Sandi discover she was indestructible would mean changing some past events (like the toxic vinaigrette subplot), but it would be a trip. I had an idea for something like this once, never got it off the ground. Oh, well.

NY00Z

• A new Write Off Challenge has been started by Kristen Bealer on PPMB. Get in line to participate! Round 1 is up and movin'!
  
• NEW! The first-ever 2010 Art Off Challenge, in response to the Write Off Challenge, has been started by the marvelous Minx. Round 1 is underway!
  
• Bad Science in Daria Fanfiction? Absolutely. Step right in and see for yourself.
• NEW! MDetector5 has re-released two of his older works showing Jane Lane, rarely seen in his stuff: Attempted Jane Times Two and Something for Mindy. Nice to see this.
  
• NEW! Daria has, um, grown in this excellent work of fan art.
  
• RATS! I seem to be having some problems with my home website (theangstguy.com). Maybe it's just my computer. If the blog's left column does not entirely load, let me know. Thanks.
  

PPMB

• Bringing the Cheer, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer woke up feeling relaxed, refreshed, and ready to get the day started. "That's weird," she mumbled to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 35: The Fat Chick, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Oh, poor Sandi!” Stacy remarked sadly once the two found a corner. Finn, no longer able to hold it in, started to laugh hysterically. “Finn!” Stacy was horrified at his behavior. “Ha, ha. I’m sorry, it’s just...it’s just so funny.” Finn wiped a tear from his eye and choked out a sentence between his chuckles. “Finn, this is horrible for her!”
  
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 16): Daria told her everything else, succinctly. Before she finished, Jane flung herself into a chair, and bit her lip in obvious vexation. "Damn it, amiga, even this second body of yours is just a pawn. You don't know anything more than your old body did, and your fooling around on Mars amounted to nothing. We've gotten nowhere in this past month, and time is running out."
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 13): As Daria drew a quick sketch, she heard something that sounded like a tweet, followed rapidly by another tweet. The two sounds repeated themselves, and then stopped. For a few seconds, Daria thought she was suffering from tinnitus. No one noticed anything. Anderson remained at his seat, reading from the textbook.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 4): Rita looked at her sister closely as they made small talk for several more minutes. Helen looked tired. No surprise there. She knew Helen was knocking herself out trying to be the valedictorian of her class. Her competitive nature would not allow her to try for anything less and she was working part time to boot. Yet there was an odd tightness around Helen’s eyes that Rita noticed but could not put a name to. “Are you okay, honey?” she finally asked.

Holiday Thoughts

There is little hope for us until we become toughminded enough to break loose from the shackles of prejudice, half-truths, and downright ignorance. The shape of the world today does not permit us the luxury of softmindedness. A nation or civilization that continues to produce softminded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.

—Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Enjoy the day, and do good work.

A History of Violence, Part 2

Several characters in Daria display an aggressive streak. Janet Barch beats the tar out of Mr. DeMartino about three or four times ("The New Kid," "The Daria Hunter," Is It College Yet?, and in The Daria Database), plus whales on an unfortunate disk jockey in a roller-hockey game ("The Big House"), but even she runs a distant second to Brittany Taylor.

Brit's mean streak surfaces with little warning and sometimes with little provocation. Childish teasing, a tasteless come-on, or a similar poor choice of words is usually all it takes. The most startling display of hair-trigger violence on her part did not appear in the first or second seasons of the show. It came during the interval between the fourth and fifth seasons, in Is It Fall Yet?

When the Dopey Duo are working as lifeguards over the summer before their senior year, Kevin unwisely pokes fun at Brittany's green-tinted (chlorine-dyed) hair. She boils over in seconds, stomps Kevin's foot, then chases him around the swimming pool in full view of adults and children, murder in her eyes. When she catches up to him, she re-stomps his injured foot much harder than the first time, shoves him into the pool, dives in after him, and then hammers him with her fists from behind, focusing on the back of his head. It's brutal. Once again, visual evidence of the event helps one to appreciate its full flavor, so I took the liberty of stitching the scene together in one large image for educational viewing.

Does it end there? It seems unlikely. In "Fat Like Me," mistakenly believing Kevin is unfaithful, Brittany shrilly snarls: "Ooh, I can't believe Kevvy cheated on me with Angie! Wait till I get my hands on him!" (See her expression in the image above left.) Yikes! You can feel Kevin's pain, and she hasn't even hit him yet.

At least Brittany doesn't beat up women, though she has no compunctions about face-offs with them if she suspects they are trying to steal her boyfriend ("This Year's Model," "The Lab Brat," etc.). It makes one wonder how Upchuck survived being her lab partner in "The Lab Brat." By rights, he should be in a shallow grave. Maybe she feared he had other copies of that incriminating photo. Who knows. (He does get popped by Brittany in The Daria Database, as seen at lower left.)

Other writers have taken the bad-ass Brittany concept and run with it. We have Crazy Nutso's "True Blue," an eye-popper that now (like Nemo Blank's version of Brittany in "Ring Toss") doesn't seem so far-fetched. Read the notes at the bottom of "True Blue," by the way. I've played with the idea, too, in a comedy/fantasy fic and a post-canon tale. I recall there are other violent Brittany stories, but can't pinpoint them. Maybe someone else can refresh our collective memory. Wasn't there an Iron Chef, too, about Brittany beating people up in bar fights?

Kinda wonder how the bad-ass Brittany thing got started. I bet it had something to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then took on a life of its own. She is a ferocious wild child, even if she does have a pink bunny backpack and smells like baby powder. (Thanks again to UU and Pinhead for the image at upper right. You r0OoL!!!!!)

Comments? Corrections? Arguments? Thoughts or rants? Let's see 'em. And more fanfiction, too.

Oops

While I was off in la-la land for the last two days, I missed some very important anniversaries for the fandom. You may suggest appropriate punishments for me in the Comments section below.

Anyway, this evening I will post the fandom holidays I missed in this work-in-progress post for the DFB2, plus all the new fanfiction, fan art, and fan et cetera that's been around. Here we go.

The 12th anniversary of the premiere of Daria itself, "Esteemsters," was two days ago. That day was also the 10th anniversary of "The Old and Beautiful" and the 9th anniversary of "Antisocial Climbers."

Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of an event that took place in a Daria fanfic spinning off from "Fizz Ed." Guess it?

Today is the eight anniversary of the premiere on MTV of "Fat Like Me."

That about covers the missed anniversaries. More anniversaries will be missed next week. Now for the news.

THE NEWS!

• Brother Grimace urges one and all to vote for the next Legion of Lawndale Heroes leader!
  
• Wouter posted a nice pic of Jane relaxing in the school yard on PPMB. Thanks!
• thatLONERchick is working on a Daria/Watchmen story. Hot holy @#$%^%$. Hang on for the shockwave.
• 1,181 fans at the Daria Fan Club. This thing sure took off. Needs more polls and quiz questions, hard ones. And thank you for the new pictures!
• Over 70,000 hits here. Whoa.
  
• The scenes that should not be have spilled over into the scenes that SHOULD be.
• The scenes that should be continue to spill over, but not into the scenes that should NOT be.
• Some new characters were added to Backgrounders, but for the life of me I can't remember who they were or when they were done. Dang.
  
• Lots more added to the thread called "Finish it Damnit! and Whose world do you want to play in?"
• Interesting DariaWiki additions: Scenes from a Lawndale Christmas, A Night to Remember to Forget, A Visit to Camp Grizzly, Starbears, and A Rookie Mistake. Oh, and Cobb pizza.
  
• We now return you to a discussion concerning the word "dunt" as it appears in a fanfic, already in progress. Srsly.
  

Enough of that. Now for the new fanfiction. In a minute.

FF.net

• 1800DARIA, by Smileyfax (Part 1): Jane was hunched over laughing on the couch. "Daria, you HAVE to be pulling my leg. You do NOT work at a porn hotline." "Not anymore."
• Falling into College, Year 4: Christmas in White, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): This is the only complete story in this listing. That means you are required by law to read it.

Lawndale Online

• Dennis has posted the stories from his Girls Together Sarcastically series. Check 'em out.
  

PPMB

• Accidents Will Happen, by undefinedlust (Part 3 finished): "Oh really?" Alison's voice perked with interest. "What's up babe?"
• Acts of Cupidity, by Disco316 (Parts 5 and 6): It being Saturday Night, Valentine’s Day went to his usual starting point, the Zon. He didn’t figure to find too many people he was looking for there, but it was as good a place to start as any. As he canvassed the room, he found two of the people he’d been looking for; unfortunately, they weren’t what anyone would consider a couple.
  
• The Exile Papers, by Gene (Parts 1-13): I hate this tent. It's smelly and cold. When Janie brought me sandwiches, she also brought a couple of quilts. She's as thoughtful as can be while Wind and Penny are just jerks. I won't say what I'm thinking of Mom right now. Too tied up with her art projects to say anything about what's going on around the house.
  
• John Lane 39: Leaving Summer, by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): BEST LINE BEGGING FOR AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: "It's not like you were a bad kisser or anything." [Two stories featuring Alison? Whoa.]
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Special: Tokusatsu Team Up! by Lorenzo Sauchelli (continued): The red dragon-like monster the five robots were battling looked like it belonged in a Godzilla movie. It towered over every building in the area, and its wings gave the impression that the monster had the ability to swallow all of Tokyo in a few bites.
  
• A Merry Invitation, by TheSecretSharer (Part 1): Daria as Shakespeare wouldst have done it. Rox yr sox.
• The Other, by TAG (Parts 1 to 7): They that are born on Halloween will see more than other folk.
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 38): With a bowl of ‘Model Cereal’ in her hand, a glass of orange juice on the table in front of her, a pajama and bathrobe clad Quinn lounged in front of the big living room TV while the noon news interrupted the procession of the Sunday morning series. Quinn contemplated the motions required to reach for the remote and change the channel, but decided that skipping the news wasn’t worth the effort. (SFMB)
  
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All the King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): "Ms. Morgendorffer," Ms. Li said, "I know for a fact that you have been plotting with Mr. DeMartino to undermine my authority in this school. Now if you confessed your crime, I may be moved to be lenient." She loomed over Daria, her voice barely above a whisper. "You do not want to find out what will happen to you if I am not lenient."
  
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (continued): Quinn’s eyes went wide at the sound of her sister’s angry voice. She turned slowly to find Daria standing behind her with arms crossed and an expression that matched the older girl’s tone.

Current Topics on Less-Visited Message Boards

• alt.tv.daria - Don't even bother clicking.
  
• Bestuff - Someone admits to a crush on Jane. Someone female. (See below for Daria Lovers Unite!)
  
• Daria Fan Club - British Daria!
  
• Daria Lovers Unite! - Is Jane a lesbian? (Srsly.)
• Daria Shrine's MB - Daria appears in House of Tracks magazine.
• FF.net: Sick Sad World - Favorite characters, with digression about Jake
• IUFMB (Tanandaria) - Ranger Throne says hi.
  
• SFMB - Trapezoid Glasses Girl gets a real name.
• Television Without Pity - An actual real swear-to-God serious discussion about Daria. Srsly!