Frankly, My Dear...Gahhh!

Helen and Jake are looking rather cute together in this alter ego from Gone with the Wind, which was first published on this day in 1936. It's sadly appropriate, too--like Scarlett and Rhett, Helen and Jake seem to work well together in some respects while in others they're incredibly dysfunctional.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode The Big House in 1997. Thanks to this episode we know that Daria can play the harmonica, that Mr. DeMartino has a heart condition, and that Helen and Jake's grasp on fairness and justice is shaky at best. More than that, though, it presented us with a mystery that fandom has never been able to truly solve: who gave Daria a ride home at the beginning of the episode, and what was she doing out so late?

Fandom News!

• Discuss a few of the more recent SCOTUS rulings.


• CBS and Paramount Pictures have posted fan film guildelines. What do you think of them?

Counseling and Countdowns

Ready for a vacation? Why not try The Retreat, introduced on this day in 2000 in the episode "Psycho Therapy." We got to see all kinds of insights into the Morgendorffer family, not to mention Tom Sloane's previously-unknown dance skills. Anyone wonder if he still gets fan mail from those inmates?

Also on this day in 1998, Daria and Jane hosted the MTV special "Top 10 Animated Videos Countdown." During the show, they make a comment about Freud, who was the founder of the field of psychotherapy. Coincidence, or--yeah, coincidence. Still kinda cool, though.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Dinkley, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "They were standing just outside the Mystery Machine with the side door slid open. 'You sure were smart to figure out all that stuff about "old man McGee" being the one to swindle those old people out of their money Velma.'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 9a - 9e): "The implosion of Mrs. Crush's ballet class did not mean an end to the damage done to psyches and friendships since Miss Genevieve's sacking. If there weren't as many physical injuries as Daria's knee, there were plenty of bruised feelings and damaged friendships." (Part 9b) (Part 9c) (Part 9d) (Part 9e)


• Dystopia, by mailorderannie (part 10): "Gary shifted uneasily from side to side. Guarding the local Fox affiliate was usually boring - everyone knew what happened when someone attacked one of the Donald's pet agencies - but he'd heard about that whole team disappearing a week ago."


• A Friendship Past, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'You look great tonight,' he openly admired how the soft green of the top that she wore brought out the fleck of gold in her brown eyes."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 28): "It should have gone without saying that Daria did not like Mondays, but, then; did anyone? Did anyone out there spend their entire weekend thinking 'I can't wait for this to be over! Bring on Monday!'?"


• Stolen and Forced Paths: 1986: November, by macross (part 1): "'Use your Fucking turn signal you stupid bastard!' Jake Morgendorffer screamed out the window of his '79 Caprice station wagon."


• Thoughts about Daria, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1.1): "'Did we move?' Daria asked. Jake recognized her sarcasm. He remembered what his wife had said the previous night."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 17): "Darlene was walking through the old streets of the town, looking through the decrepit storefronts. The devastating combination of the war and the plague turned Drammarstadt into a ghost town."

Jake Has Shown Forty-One Years of Fortitude and Counting!

Helen and Jake are celebrating their wedding anniversary today, and I'm sure they're feeling just as free-spirited and laid-back as the day they first made their Vows of Commitment. For a really fun take on Jake and Helen's "wedding," see Mike Xeno's "Committed."

Fandom News!

• Share your favorite cringeworthy moments in the Facepalm of the Day thread.


• What do you think of Nabisco outsourcing production of Oreos?


• At last, there's a new Lawndale Lowdown Podcast!

I'm Sure Quinn Didn't Enjoy Her Role At All

Sandi doesn't seem to be enjoying Swim a Lap Day, but that may be because she's been swimming laps for hours now. It takes a lot of hard work to maintain a size negative four, you know! Fortunately, she's got Coach Quinn at her side to torture motivate her. Swim, you cow, swim!

Fanfic Update!

• Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 28): "When Claire Defoe entered the teachers' lounge, the room was buzzing with the usual early morning chaos."


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 19): "'Trent?' Daria asked, surprised to find the old Plymouth and its owner out the front of the school building when class let out. 'Hey Daria,' Trent greeted with a smile. Then he frowned. 'Where's Janey?' he asked."


• Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 6): "Jane threw a dirty tarp aside to reveal a broken bike frame, 'throw that away. I want it gone today.' 'Janey why are we cleaning the garage?'"


• The Daria/Quinn Hentai Ship Fic, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on!' Jane cried to the heavens. 'Where the hell am I? Where'd everyone go? And can someone explain to me why in the name of God am I wearing a squid costume?!'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 8a and 8b): "It still hurt the following morning, and it wasn't just the pain in her knee. She'd given her best on the dance floor, had tripped through no fault of her own, and then instead of getting a little bit of comfort and understanding from her dance teacher, she'd been given an unjustified tongue-lashing." (Part 8b)


• Decisions, by elainefr (part 5): "'Jane?' 'You got her.' 'It's me. I needed to ask you something....' Jane waited sensing something in the air."


• Family Ties, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Jake Morgendorffer never considered himself to be a bad person. He prided himself on being the exact opposite of his late father which meant that he went out of his way to be respectful, kind, and observant. When he became a father himself, he vowed to never make his daughters feel as unloved and unwanted as he felt growing up."


• Happy Birthday, April 1984, by macross (part 1): "'Happy Birthday dear Quinn, Happy Birthday too you,' sang the gathered group in the small living room of the Alexandria VA second floor apartment."


• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 13): "They chatted amiably for a few more minutes until voices in the hall told them Ron and Hermione had returned. 'What next?' Daria asked, before Hermione could speak."

They Both Frown on "Keeping It Loose," Too

Trent's off to college thanks to the G.I. Bill, which was signed into law on this day in 1944. I have a hard time picturing Trent either joining the army or attending college, though. Both tend to require people to wake up sometime before three in the afternoon, after all.

Fandom News!

• dmsfanman shares a Daria tee available to buy online.


• Discuss your theories regarding Daria characters and alcohol.


• Celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of the movie Labyrinth.


• Join the meta discussion: Do Evils of Actors Ruin Their Characters?

"It was the peak of tourist season, when a mangled body washed up on the shore, scaring the beachcombers...."

Daria and Jane are going to celebrate the anniversary of the 1975 release date of the movie Jaws by going to see the Great White Shark. Or, rather, the Great White Shark Tooth as Presented by the Great Delusional Woman.

Also, happy anniversary to Outpost Daria Reborn, which came online on this day in 2014.

Fanfic Update!

• Changes (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A light breeze blew across the Raft campus, the brief wind a necessary relief from the unseasonably warm Boston temperatures."


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 18): "'Those who do not volunteer must voluntarily buy a ticket, or voluntarily face suspension,' Ms Li informed them. 'That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard,' Daria said quietly to Jane."


• Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 5): "Daria woke up to the feeling of Jane's chin nuzzling the top of her head. Jane was cuddling Daria in her sleep, arms encircling the shorter woman's petite waist."


• James the Lesser Presents Vinny Lane, by James the Lesser (part 41): "Vinny and Daria sit at a booth at the Pizza Prince sharing a slice or two. 'I must say,' Vinny sets down his slice. 'I'm honored you decided to spend your valuable time on a Saturday night with me. What happened to college applications?'"


• A Time For Us, by aeverett (part 9): "Daria sat across from her parents, sipping her soda slowly. She knew this interrogation could go on past 2 AM as they'd only just gotten down to the Dutchman Inn's 24 hour dinner after her younger self, Quinn, and Jane had been put to sleep upstairs."

There's Something Fishy Going On Here

Although today is International Sushi Day, Jake strongly suggests that you avoid Tokyo Toby's unless you want a side order of parasites. Fortunately, this is also Go Fishing Day, so you can just go out and catch your own!

Speaking of Tokyo Toby's, this also happens to be the fifteenth anniversary of the episode "My Night at Daria's," which features the yet-to-be shut down sushi restaurant. Oh, and there's also some sideplot about Daria and Tom deciding whether or not to have sex.

Fandom News!

• Which character could be the "Lou Grant" of Daria?


• Watch the parody video of MLP: Daria Style.

Another Remake?!

Brittany appears to be recreating a scene similar to the famous one in the movie Psycho, which was released on this day in 1960. It seems that Brittany has relented on her "no nude scenes" rule, unless someone convinced her that it was, in fact, crucial to her character.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Too Cute," which first aired on this day in 1997. Quinn contemplates plastic surgery, and Daria receives a pair of fake boobs. Good times all around!

Fanfic Update!

• The Conversation, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'It's ridiculous.' 'Absurd really.' 'Because we're friends and nothing more.' They looked at each other, then away."


• Family Ties, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "An early morning jog sounded like a great idea until Quinn realized that a) required her to wake up before 12:00 PM and b)she had the stamina of a seventy-year old chainsmoker."


• Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Nothing could've prepared Harold 'Axl' Williams for the afternoon he faced. For starters, he didn't anticipate having to close the shop in the middle of the day. He definitely didn't expect to be held hostage in his own place of business."

He's Rebellent!

Mack's in a revolutionary mood for the anniversary of Che Guevara's birth in 1928. It's a cool-looking alter ego, but I'm not sure a boy who can't even convince Kevin to stop calling him annoying nicknames is really the best candidate for fighting social justice on a global level. Still, I can think of worse characters to take on the role.

Fandom News!

• Why do schools not allow hats? If you know, tell everyone in the thread.


• Discuss the Orlando nightclub shooting.

Roses are Red....

It's Red Rose Day, so take those flowers out of the garbage can and give them to someone special! Unless that someone special stands you up, in which case go ahead and trash those things.

Fanfic Update!

• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 17): "The Spiral, Jane and Daria were planning on going for a burger – no, not one for all of them to share – after the band had finished their single set at McGrundy's."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 7a and 7b): "Daria went to school the next day with a feeling of excitement about the Holiday Pageant. Today was show day and she felt ready, as did members of the chorus and the schoolmates who were going to be doing the holiday play." (Part 7b)


• Family Ties, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 - 3): "It was 3:00 PM on a balmy, July afternoon when Daria Morgendorffer's left came to a screeching halt." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Quinn's Code 16: The Geek's Expose, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'... And then you open the window and say, "Life is a meaningless descent into the void." Then you jump, and on the way down you scream, "Now I understand, I understand everything,"' Daria said. 'That's quite existential,' Jennifer mused. 'That's the point!' Daria grumbled."


• Trouble in the Future (Chapter 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "James approached the Marie Green vehicle. He swiped his card on the port. Access Denied. Marie Green Agents only. 'Of course,' he said. But there were still other ways."


• What If The Storm Killed Them?, by The Madi Hatter (part 6): "Jane and Will where cooking breakfast when they heard feet coming down the stairs. 'Good Morning big brother!' Jane sang without noticing it was Daria and Trent, Hip to hip with Daria looking half asleep."

"Just click your heels and say, 'There's no place like home.' Only do it outside; this is the end of the line."

The Cowardly Lion is here to wish the late Judy Garland, star of the movie adaptation of The Wizard of Oz and born on this day in 1922, a happy birthday. Of course, we all know that's really Mr. O'Neill in there, but the "cowardly" part still applies. The episode "Legends of the Mall" referenced Garland in a Sick, Sad World bit:

"It's legal, and tender, but someone's getting shortchanged! Little cross dressers and the women who love them, coming up next on Sick, Sad World."

Daria: If that woman were Judy Garland, this might make sense on a couple of levels.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the new poll, Deadliest Warrior: Borg vs. Cylons.


• Kem is wondering about selling artwork.

But Don't Poison Your Best Friend!

Happy Name Your Poison Day, everyone! Whether you're sprinkling cyanide into Kevin's nutty-butter and banana sandwich or splitting a bottle of drain cleaner with Luhrman, just be sure you know the name of the poison you're ingesting. The paramedics will want to know, after all.

This is also National Best Friends Day, which is perfect for Daria and Jane. Except when Daria's pissed at Jane for having a boyfriend. Or when Jane's pissed at Daria for stealing her boyfriend. Or--okay, so it was a kind of rocky friendship at times, but it seemed to work out all right in the end!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "For some reason or other, Mrs. Crush was forced to lighten up on her students. Jessia, Linda, Gail, and Farrah wanted to believe that it was because it was because Mrs. Crowe had convinced her to ease up on her students."


• Dystopia, by mailorderannie (part 9): "Mack, Daria, and Jane were all bent down, sifting through the rubble that had once been the Guardian's Lawndale offices. 'Tell me why we're getting all dusty and disturbing your co-worker's final resting place, again?'"


• What If The Storm Killed Them?, by The Madi Hatter (part 5): "A year and a half ago in a small Italian town. Jane is setting up her table at an art fair as she see's a tall, slender man looking her way. 'Oh no...' She thought as the man started to walk towards her booth."

Or At Least Take the Rubber Thing off the End!

Today is National Gardening Exercise Day, but unless you want an exercise in futility then I don't recommend you follow the Fashion Club's example by planting crutches or other inanimate objects. Trees, vegetables, and flowers would all be more useful and, frankly, less weird.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the new Emoji Bible as well as other versions.


• Can you answer a Daria fanfiction question?

Old Maids and Old Arguments

Quinn's looking very...mature...because today is Old Maid's Day. Apparently she forgot Brittany's advice about sunscreen. Her hair still looks bouncy, but I suspect the color comes out of a bottle now.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Aunt Nauseam," which first aired on this day in 2001. Erin almost gets divorced, Helen and her sisters almost have an epic feud, and Daria and Quinn almost bond.

Fanfic Update!

• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 16): "'But it's fun! And it looks good on your transcript,' Jodie insisted, trying to get Daria to join her in working on the yearbook. Specifically, for some reason, the photography meeting."


• Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 - 6): "Daria Morgendorffer stood near the hall phone and tapped her foot. She really needed to make a call for school. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible; Quinn was using it." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Lights Out (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'You see the new chick?' Jane Lane looked up from her latest handiwork, a crude stick-and-poke tattoo of a mushroom, to focus her attention on her unlikely visitor."


• Unnamed story (IC Runaway Daria), by Waylander (part 5): "'Have it your way, my fair-weathered friend. I hoped to settle things peacefully, but if you want blood I'll be happy to oblige,' Captain Blood stepped forward and activated the force-blade."


• What If The Storm Killed Them?, by The Madi Hatter (part 4): "The car trip with Daria, Trent, Quin and Nick was amusing. Between Daria's sarcastic remarks towards her sisters business troubles and the guys then laughing as Trent tries not to swerve into the next lane, it was hard not to at least slightly enjoy yourself."


• The Wounds That Never Heal, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Can I make a suggestion? Don't put up any signs inside Legion Tower, or on the premises.' Kelsi Sunma, the swarthy-skinned coordinator for the Lawndale Food Bank, looked up at Jane from her tablet."

We are, Like, Not Amused!

Brittany is helping to celebrate the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II, which happened on this day in 1953. God help the UK if Brittany ever really ends up in charge there. I'm thinking the first royal decree would involve mandatory cheerleading practices.

Fandom News!

• What have siblings been like for you? Share your experiences in the thread.


• Discuss the new Top Gear TV show.


• MartinUK wants to know if anybody here has seen Halestorm play live. Vote in the poll!


• What are your thoughts on homosexual cartoons?


• What do you consider Daria headcanon?