How Much Punishment Will You Take for Some Thin Mints?

Looks like the Girl Scouts are taking an aggressive tactic to celebrate Girl Scouts Day, but I guess if it sells cookies then you can't argue with results. I hope Jane celebrates, too, perhaps by singing that song about John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody.

Meanwhile, Jake's mother should know that today is National Ruth Day, so she should go out and treat herself. Maybe she could buy herself an extra-special girdle!

Is anyone in the mood for a nature hike down memory lane? On this day in 2001, the episode "Camp Fear" aired, and I will never look at watermelons the same way again.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Akira Toriyama.


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Jem and Melodia.


• Post in a new thread to vent about things that drive you crazy.

I Kant Believe He's 298!

Even if he were awake, I don't think Tom would be impressed to know that today is the anniversary of Immanuel Kant's birth in 1724. Turns out that dry, ponderous intellectuals aren't his thing. Unless they wear boots and green jackets, that is.

Today is also Girl Scout Leader Day, so get out there and lead a troop in a nice hike while singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt." Sanity is overrated, anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "'Did you have to tell the police officer I had suspicions?' Dewey asked as they walked away from the café."


• Sarcasm always wins, by DuckyMarie (part 2): "The next day I go through my normal classes at the normal boring pase. I stay after school with Mr. O'Neill for the so-called Self-Esteem Course. I take my seat and look around and see about a half-dozen others in the room."

John Jacob Jingleheimer RUN!

Better pay your cookie debts now, because it doesn't look like those cute little girls are going to take no for an answer on National Girl Scout Cookie Day. Jane, I'm looking at you. Pay the girls before they tear you apart!

Then again, those Girl Scouts should be defending their turf because today is also National Boy Scout Day. I do not want to see that fight go down. Sugar and spice my ass.

Fandom News!

• RIP, Christopher Plummer and Leon Spinks.


• ipswichfan is searching for a story.

Dawn Looks Good in Orange!

Nothing like waiting until the last minute for Carve a Pumpkin Day, since Halloween is also today. Although going door-to-door during a pandemic might be a bad idea, so I suppose it's not like we have anything else to do today.

Today is also Girl Scouts Founders Day, so I hope Jane decides to celebrate with a round of John Jacob Jingleheimer Somebody.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the new adaptation of Rebecca.

Disclaimer: Cookies Do Not Contain Girl Scouts

Jane had better look out, because it's National Girl Scout Cookie Day and she's in danger of incurring another Girl Scout cookie debt. Of course, perhaps she's safe from the temptation since her Girl Scout deprogramming, but you can never be too careful.

Today is also Boy Scout Day, and 1950's Jake will probably lead his troop in a rousing chorus of "America the Beautiful" before someone accuses them of being Reds.

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Daria (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "The taxi slowed down, then pulled into the driveway at 1111 Glenn Oaks Drive. A well-dressed, auburn-haired girl got out of the cab and walked back towards the cab’s trunk. The driver opened the trunk and lifted out three suitcases and set them on the concrete."


• Daria and Jane Learn Geography NOW!, by brothergrimace1 (COMPLETE!): "Jane: I changed my mind. (Daria looks at her) I'm okay with Quinn helping you out with this one."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 27): "Daria’s next class was Defense Against the Dark Arts. She looked forward to it with a mixture of worry and anticipation."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 34): "After work Erin waited till only Michelle was left. 'Do you still want that wine?' Erin asked."


• Everything to Fear But Camp Itself, by Lady Evil (part 5): "'Well, hey, look at this sexy thing!' said Jake, pulling out a negligee. 'When were you going to surprise me with this?'"


• A Gentle Push From The Nest, by brothergrimace1 (COMPLETE!): "'Rossalyn! A friend of yours from school is here to see you!"


• Mine, by Vukodlak (part 13): "Quinn stood in front of the mirror holding up various skirts seeing which one would complete yet another perfect outfit."


• Naked Eyes (Daria and Quinn), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria was sitting on the couch writing on her laptop. Her cat, Godzilla, was curled up next to her. Something seemed to grab the cat's attention as he suddenly scurried off of the couch and onto the floor." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Daria Barksdale sat in the passenger seat of her older sister's convertible, watching the East Coast landscape fly by—far faster than it legally should be."

Why Kant Tom Keep His Eyes Open?

Tom's just riveted by Immanuel Kant's writing, and who wouldn't be? I'm sure the late philosopher would be happy to know his work is being appreciated on the anniversary of his birth in 1724.

Today is also Girl Scout Leader Day, and I hope Jane celebrates it by getting together with her old troop to singing a round of "John Jacob Jingleheimer Somebody."

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 59): "Early the next week Jake invited Daria to take an introductory Hebrew class at Temple."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 23): "Tom had Mia on-screen over a highly encrypted channel. Everyone stood around the screen."


• Daria the Vampire Slayer: Hell Comes To Texas, by Charles RB (parts 1 - 3): "She'd had one of the dreams again. She was another girl in another time and place, and then a vampire had eaten her. Honestly, they were starting to drag." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Dirty Little Secret (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jim, Vito and Linda are sitting down and talking. Jim and Linda are coming to grips with the revelation that they're related. Jim: When you came over to my house nine years ago did you know I was your nephew?"


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 23): "Erin arrived at work to find the other PA's gathered around Zoe's desk. 'What's going on?' Erin asked. 'We don't know.' Zoe replied. 'An all of management emergency meeting, which none of us got any warning. All the bosses gone, who knows where?'"


• Nothing Else Matters, by YouthofOz (parts 23 - 27): "It was Trent. It was him. Not a lookalike or a dream, but horribly, undeniably Trent moving towards them out of the flames like a remarkably dishevelled Terminator." (Part 24) (Part 25) (Part 26) (Part 27)


• Sleeping Brittany (IC: Blank Brittany), by Serrallonga (part 1): "Brittany woke up that morning feeling great, as usual."


• Thrill of the Fall, by atiyatortilla (parts 2 and 3): "The quest for a table was proving fruitless until a pair of friendly strangers lent Daria a helping hand." (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "There were many things that Daria had expected to happen when she actually used the free trip to Las Vegas she had won by entering that damn raffle at Jane's prompting."


• With Apologies To Mayall (IC: Apartment Life), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Tom had thought he'd enjoy his time at Bromwell until he rented an apartment in a student-friendly area and found he was sharing it with Upchuck, who should not be."

Scout's Honor!

Ex-Girl Scout Jane probably already knows this, but today is National Girl Scout Cookie Day. You'd better pay up unless you want those adorable little thugs beating down your door!

In an interesting pint-sized battle of the sexes, today is also Boy Scout Day. Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey (or at least the 1950's fantasy versions of them) will celebrate by singing "America the Beautiful" and driving a young girl to accidentally entomb herself in a bomb shelter.

Fandom News!

• Keep up with the PyeongChang Winter Olympics.


• Discuss the news that Cape Town is running out of water.


• Talk about the Easter Eggs in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012).


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Hordak and Mon-Star.

Tom Just Kant Stay Awake

Poor Tom is really trying to appreciate Immanuel Kant on the 293rd anniversary of the philosopher's birth, but I just don't think it's going to work out. If only Kant had livened up the book with a gunfight or a fur bikini, Tom might have been able to stay awake. But then we'd have had no wacky hijinks involving school rumors, so perhaps it's all for the best.

Today is also Girl Scout Leader Day, so let's all take a moment to appreciate the poor soul who had to take Jane Lane and a bunch of girls singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" on a hike. Hey, I just thought of Mr. DeMartino's dream job!

Fanfic Update!

• Decisions, by elainefr (part 12): "'Ah,' Daria winced at the sting of the alcohol that she was dabbing on her cuts. 'Damn Zon and their broken bottles and stupid me, for getting into a fight over a guy. This is so high school.'"


• This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (parts 10 and 11): "The washing up was more of just a task of physical work, it was persuading Quinn to participate. There was nagging, exchange of sarcasm, bribery and finally it was done." (Part 11)

A Scene from the Rougher Side of Jane's Past

This troop of little cuties is taking National Girl Scout Day to something of an extreme, but perhaps that will be a lesson to all about what happens when you fail to pay off your Girl Scout Cookie debt. Jane Lane learned that one all too well.

This is also the fifteenth anniversary of the episode "Camp Fear," which aired on this day in 2001. There weren't any Girl Scouts in that one, but there were some high-priced cookies courtesy of Earl and Barbara.

Fanfic Update!

• Bullying A Dragon, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Nice cup. You always have your tea in a fancy cup.'"


• Chemistry, by Captain Marbles (part 2): "'All right, Cadets Vargas--Robertson, you understand the mission?' 'Yes, Admiral Harriman!' 'Then get to it--and good luck.'"


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 4): "'A hundred miles? To go to a mall?!' Jake demanded. 'Dammit, there's a mall five minutes away!'"


• Fever Dreams, by mabel (COMPLETE!): "After the break up with Daria... things got heavy. Bromwell was a first rate school, and no amount of old money could keep Tom enrolled if he did not pass his classes."


• Just Living My Life, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "People would always try to say things about the LGBT members of the Legion. One day, on some show, some loudmouth in the audience tried to shout her way into a conversation and shout Daria down when she mentioned that she had no problem with any of her fellow Legionnaires being gay."


• Lawndale 2021 Season Three, by Anguirus1955 (part 7): "'Gentlemen! I have finished my nap! Now, to unveil my latest creation!' Dr. Weird announced as he walked into his lab."


• No, by mabel (COMPLETE!): "Daria liked to joke about Helen's lack of parenting; this was obvious to everyone in the Morgendorffer household besides Jake."


• Party at 111 Howard (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Did I hear you right?' Daria Morgendorffer asked her friend Jane Lane as they arrived at school. 'You're having a party?' 'That's right.'"


• Songs About Jane Lane, by with caution (COMPLETE!): "'Later, Daria.' Jane shut the door of Casa Lane and walked into the kitchen."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 22): "In an abandoned steam whistle factory in the Swiss canton of Bern, tormented ship rivets were quietly sobbing steel tears as Upchuck's brass band played the evil polka of violence."

Is This How Jane Used to Spend Her Time in the Girl Scouts?

Better watch your backs! It's National Girl Scout Cookie Day, and if those pint-sized thugs are any indication of how to celebrate the day, I think I'll pass. Interestingly, today also happens to be Boy Scout Day, so it looks like equal opportunity shakedowns are in order. Lock your doors, people!

Fanfic Update!

• Brittany and a Pernicious Problem, by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "It was mid morning when they hit the slopes, well one of them did, the other shuffled along trying to keep balance. After many shoot downs of James's idea of chariot scythes on ski's, they began." (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Fashionably Five Oh, by psychotol (part 1): "Sandi wound up her run around the village she had been moved to."

Good Thing Jane's Already Paid off that Cookie Debt!

This band of roving Girl Scout villains is shaking down old ladies for cash because today is National Girl Scout Cookie Day! I'm sure Jane would look back on her days as a cookie pusher with fondness if she could remember them post-deprogramming. The rest of us can hold up some Thin Mints as a toast to pint-sized entrepreneurs everywhere!

Fandom News!

• Scissors MacGillicutty needs to know PPMB members' birth years.


• Talk about the crazy winter those of us in the Northern Hemisphere have been having lately.


• What do you think of CVS's decision to stop selling tobacco?


• Shiva shares a few thoughts on Janet Barch, the professional teacher.

Hail to the QB!

Today is the anniversary of the birth of George Washington, born in 1732. Washington was the first president of the United States, and his duties most likely involved very little football. Still, both George and Kevin were supposedly involved in the destruction of a tree in some form, so they've got that in common.

Today is also World Thinking Day for the Girl Scouts, which Jane was (at least briefly) a member of. So observe the day by trying to think while several preteen girls sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" over and over again.

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster :: Chapter 5, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 - 2.5): "Tiffany began a callous walk towards her locker. She had to leave, she had to get out of the school. She had to find some place safe, someplace where she could be herself for once, where people would accept her for who she was before the accident and knew who she was behind this emotionless mask." (Part 2) (Part 2.5)


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 5), by oni (COMPLETE!): "Looking at the two girls, Li could see smirks on their faces. Gaining back her confidence, Li continued, 'Since your coming out,' she used her fingers to quote 'coming out', 'has become public knowledge to the entire student body, it falls to the school's responsibility to take action if any 'bullying' occurs.' The only reason Li said this was to avoid a lawsuit of any kind and the girls knew it. Despite this, it was comforting for them to know that they could alert the faculty if anything were to happen."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 6), by oni (part 1): "'Come on Tiffany, a deal was deal. It has been an hour since you came here, so think we should study now.' The asian girl looked to her friend with a frown and slowly replied, 'But Quinn, studying is so geeky.' 'As geeky as it may be, it beats having to repeat a year like Kevin,' Quinn said trying to reason with Tiffany."


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (part 1): "Scene Tiffany's Room. Tiffany sat in front of her mirror adjusting her makeup. Tiffany: 'Howwwwww dooooooo Iiiiiii loooooook nowwwwwwwww?' Cameraman: 'Fit.'"


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 28): "'Daria?' came Quinn's voice from the other side. Daria sighed. 'Come.' Quinn walked into Daria's room, closing the door behind her. 'Daria? You okay?' 'Yeah. I'm fine.' 'No. You're not.' Said Quinn, pulling the chair up and sitting in front of her sister. 'Jane kissed you.'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 1a): "'I'm glad you boys are such good brothers to each other', their mother said. 'Now, how was the rest of your day, Dylan?' Dylan picked up his glass of milk. 'Nothing I couldn't survive', he said. He took a drink. 'That's good—isn't it?'"


• The Fifth Part of 4 (Iron Chef: Sandi is in Daria's Grade), by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Just before Daria had made it to the double doors, she heard a deep monotone voice ask 'Hey. Nice outfit. You into grunge?'. Daria turned to face the source of the voice and saw the source: a smiling taller lean brunette girl with her hair back in a ponytail who was wearing a short black dress, fishnet pantyhose and long boots."


• The Heisted and the Hostage (Iron Chef: How did we get here?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "As I walked out into the drive way of the old motel that they had stopped at a smile crossed my lips and hope filled me. A convertible stopped in front of the motel and I ran over to it hoping for my ride out of here. I jumped into the lap of a strong and handsome man who was waiting in the back seat and the car drove oo."


• Lady Luck (Iron Chef: How did we get here?), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Helen decided that to make Quinn's 21st birthday one that she would never forget. She would send Quinn, Daria and a group of their old friends to Vegas."


• Lawndale 2050 (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked around at the bodies lying all around her. Hoisting a semi-conscious Jane onto her shoulders, she made her way to the 'council room'. I'm glad I was able to convince Quinn to go with dad to that seminar. Damnit Jane, why wouldn't you listen to me to?"


• My New Life, by ST91 (part 4): "And so Darius told them about Jane ( who both Quinn and Jake already knew), Mack, Jodie ,and Charles . When he finished both his father and his sister sat with their mouths open in surprise. 'Darius do you realize what you did ?' asked Quinn 'I've made some friends.' 'Yes, but Darius , Jodie and Mack are the most popular couple in Lawndale High. If you hang around them , you could become popular too, even if you hang around upchuck.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 5, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Sadly she wasn't the smartest person to graze the world with her intelligence. She was far from it - almost too far from intelligent to be able to figure out where she was. 'Why am I outside.....?' Then it dawned on her, 'WHY AM I ALMOST NAKED?!'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Tears for Sandi (Angst-Off!), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "'You can't be serious!' The red head said to her. Sandi could only nod her head in shame and guilt. 'First you sleep with my husband, now you tell me you're pregnant with his child? How can you be so sure it's his?'" (Angelinhel's continuation)


• Tickled Pink (Iron Chef: And Go!), by mmmdraco (COMPLETE!): "The two girls, for they were surely girls and not the young women they'd been when he last saw them, were huddled together on the floor, also covered in the pink goo. 'What the hell happened?' Daria looked up from where she'd been hugging Jane. 'That's a bad word. My mommy says so. It's in a lot of books, though.'"


• Twisted (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Jane slowly pulled herself out of the driver side window of the overturned Tank. Upon emerging from the totaled van, the scent of charred metal and flesh filled her nostrils. She took in the scenery; you would never imagine that Lawndale once stood where this blight now stood."


• Twisted Metal “The Lawndale Edition”, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Jane turned and say Calypso beside her; his arms held high, taking in the madness' glory. 'Hey; you owe me a wish.' 'Yes I do.' 'You know what I want...'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: And Go!), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'Okay. Let's go see the damage.' 'Oh, you're overreacting,' Jane said, ringing the doorbell of Quinn's apartment. 'Quinn's babysat before, right? I'm sure the girls haven't suffered too much brain damage in just a couple of hours.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: And Go!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "As he opened the door he barely had time to register the impossibility of what he saw there before a pain like nothing he had ever felt exploded between his legs."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: And Go!), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "When Tom arrived to pick up the girls he was shocked to see Alice in red and Amy in green both dresses looking like they came out of the fourties. He hoped to god Quinn hadn't started dating Nathan."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mad Dog gets therapy), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "When they were outside and Rustmoblie started with a cough, Tom turned to Jane, 'So what's the big deal? You looked like you saw a horde of hungry zombies.' 'Worse. Military Club.'"


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 5): "So, this was the real issue. They're embarrassed that they can't afford food. Well I can, and if I handle this the right way then no feelings should be hurt. 'I have a suggestion, You've given me a place for the night, let me repay your hospitality by paying for some groceries and cooking us some dinner...Okay?' Jane looked at me curiously for a moment, then exhaled and pursed her lips slightly as she crossed her arms across her chest. 'Fine, sounds like a fair arrangement. Let's get the tour underway so I can change and start my run.'"


• X-men: Daria's Evolution, by Reven384 (part 4): "'You look good for someone whose been shot.' 'Yeah it seems that my powers allow me to heal from not fatal injuries rather quickly. How are you holding up?' Jane asked seeing the look on her friend's face. 'I feel lousy,' Daria, said, 'You know as much as I ragged on them I still loved them. And they are gone.' 'I wish there was something I could do,' Jane said, 'If you need anything I'm here.'"

"No one will ever accuse these kids of being Reds!"

Today is the 101st anniversary of the founding of the Boy Scouts of America. Aside from the appearance in "Legends of the Mall," shown on the right, the only real reference made to the Boy Scouts in Daria is that Jake and Rita's boyfriend Paul were in the Scouts together as boys. However, without the Boy Scouts we probably would not have had Girl Scouts, and Jane would never have had to endure hearing the song "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" while going on hikes. And who wants that?

By the way, has anyone ever written a story about Jake in Boy Scouts? If not, they should. Like, right now. I'll wait. (checks watch)

While we wait, here's the latest fanfic:

• Another normal day in Lawndale, by JPAGC (part 9): "Jane watched her closely. Her long experience being a teenage semi-outcast had taught her that, in some rare occasions, more popular classmates would secretly approach and confide in her, usually to relieve tension about a test, parent's expectations, friendships or pour their hearts out about girlfriends or boyfriends. It was as if being a semi-abandoned semi-alternative teenage artist led others to the conviction she was discreet and available. She didn't quite understand it, but she didn't mind nor complain, as she though these things kind of protected her of being a complete outcast and thrown to the wolves."


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 13 Paper Towels and Open Flames Don't Mix, by LadieT (part 1): "Dorian was sound asleep after spending several hours working out with Mack and the three Js. The Daria side of his brain, however heard her father's screams. Dorian, this isn't a social call. The house is on fire so GET YOUR ASS UP AND GET US OUT OF HERE! Dorian grabbed his glasses and bolted out of bed. He ran into Quinn as he left his room. His parents were already heading outside. Helen was on her cellphone calling the fire department. They met out by the curb as their neighbors started to gather around. A few minutes later, sounds of sirens blaring filled the air."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Daria: (to Jodie) Boy, things sure have changed since I left. Jodie: More like since Sandi left. Raven: That's right. Arrowette put an arrow through her head. Jodie: Thanks for the expository material." (Another part here)


• Fugitive Chapter 7: Britpop, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "In front of him stood a middle-aged man, probably the owner of the shop. His smile seemed somehow off, as if he was incredibly pleased to see someone in his store. He had a neatly trimmed beard of short raven black hair and equally black scalp hair, styled like a proper gentleman from way back would have done it. He wore a white shirt decorated with quillings, a black shiny black vest, black pants and round, black sunglasses. But what he really looked at was the man's walking stick, decorated with a shiny, skull shaped knob on the tip. For a moment he thought the eyes of said skull were shining."


• Galahad (Iron Chef: Mary Sue), by Cap: "Daria held up a hand stopping the flow of adjectives. 'For a teenager,' she began. 'Galahad's good looking in a traditional masculine manner. He's also intelligent, a gentleman in the truest sense, surprisingly sophisticated, very talented, amazingly patient and unfailingly kind but will stomp the crap out of anyone I ask him to.' 'Ooooh, sounds perfect,' Jane cooed. 'When do I get to meet him?' 'Graduation,' Daria replied peevishly."


• Genesis, by VPrad (part 4): "Next to her car stood the person responsible for Trent's current condition, the woman who had destroyed his mind, Daria Morgendorffer, and behind her, her sister Quinn. Without saying a word, Jane walked towards her. 'Hello Jane.' Daria said softly when she was close enough. Without saying a word, Jane threw a hard punch to her face that sent her glasses flying. The impact of Jane's fist caused Daria to fall to the ground. 'I told you this would happen if I ever saw you again.'"


• God Save The Esteem ep20: Bearing Gifts, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "She found the table easy enough. She could see her grandmother and the Fielding professor, the latter clearly bewildered, the former freezing in mid-greet and only just keeping down a look of horror. Grandma Barksdale had not expected Daria to turn up in her usual clothes, combat boots and all. And she certainly hadn't expected Daria to have a shock of bright-green hair."


• Holiday Roadtrip, by Chris Tucker: "10 minutes later, having SLOOWWLY made it to the exit, they were able to pull into the parking lot of a gas station/diner. The three girls got out of the car and stretched. 'You know, we could just stay here. There's a gas station and a place to eat. We have cell phones and a computer. I say we just live in the car, transfer to the University of Phoenix and finish our college educations online. It'd be faster than trying to get back to Boston.'"


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 3): "Robert walked into the bathroom to relieve himself and wash his hands one last time before he left. When the door crashed open and a flash-bang grenade went off, he cried out in shock and looked into the mirror as his eyes turned black in color. Despite the shock to his ears, he heard two men rush into the room and turned to face them."


• How to Train Your Daria, by Hyrin (part 2): "'I still can't get over that: there are dragons here! Real dragons. That's cool.' 'Why are you surprised? Didn't you read the information that we got when we signed up for this program?' Jane's smirk answered that question. Daria sighed. “The people who live here are the descendants of a group that broke away from the Vikings 300 years ago to hunt dragons. It was three years ago that the fighting between the two groups finally stopped. Now, the dragons are integrated into their society and you're asleep so I'm going to shut up now. A light snore was Jane's only reply."


• Lawndale Seven Chapter One, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Highland had never been this fun. There she couldn't even get into the clubs, here they only took a good look on her and let her in with a smile. Even if the big bouncer was really intimidating, with all the spikes on his head and his arms bigger than her body. One minute she was dancing very close with a boy she didn't even wanted to know the name of, the next moment she got handed a pink drink by someone. She mouthed a thanks, it was way to loud to talk, before she took a sip. It tasted sweet and had a funny aftertaste."


• Life As We View It, by GingerLove84 (parts 1 - 6): "(Cut to Daria near the door. She's got her boots on now and has already carried her bags to the car. She pauses, looking hesitant. Sighing, she steps out the door and starts to lock it, jumping as her cell phone rings. Flipping it open, she puts it to her ear as she locks the door.) JANE: The apartment will be fine Morgendorffer. You haven't forgotten anything, lock it up and go." (Part 2)(Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Life Beyond Highland, by LadieT (part 15): "Before Daria could answer, Professor Barch entered the room. Daria just nodded and focused her attention to the woman at the front of the class. The middle-aged woman gave a long scan of the room before spending the rest of the class going over the safety rules for the class. The one thing Daria realized early on was that the teacher really hated the male students in her class. Great, just what I need. A whacko nut job professor near dangerous chemicals. Remind me to find the local Army/Navy store and see of they have a hazmat suit in my size."


• LLH Alternate Future 06 - Please Give Me Your Full Attention, by psychotol: "'MISSING, NUCLEAR, MATERIAL, BRITTANY!' said Jane. ... 'We have no choice. We spare anyone from finding that in favour of anything even finding one of our own ... ... ' 'Missing fissile nuclear material,' said Jodie, 'enough for forty critical masses, up to thirty eight nukes. On the plus side,' said Jodie."


• Oh, By The Way, by RLobinske (parts 4 and 5): "When Jake stepped forward toward Quinn, he bumped into Helen. When their eyes met, they saw the overloading emotion in the other's eyes and at the same time, Helen said, 'Heart Attack!' while Jake said, 'Stroke! The exclamations broke Jake and Helen from their shock. A sudden, huge grin formed on Jake's face before he said, 'I'm going to be a grandfather!'" (Part 5)


• Promises, by LadieT (part 4): "Jane and Jake sat quietly on opposite sides of Cleo's bed. Every so often, Jake would turn and look at Jane and see the concern on her face. Unlike Helen, Jake didn't hate Jane. He wanted his oldest daughter to be happy and if Jane made her smile, then he was satisfied with that. He was more upset over the fact that Helen had denied him one of the few things he had wanted to do in life, walking Daria down the aisle at her wedding."


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "'What are Mom and Dad arguing about, Daria?' she asked. 'Better to ask her than to try to ask them,' she thought. 'I suggested to Mom that we go to Pizza Forest for Dinner like we used to,' Daria said, matter of factly. Quinn had also seen the Lawndale franchise of Pizza Forest near the Mall the previous day. 'The place with the singers! No wonder they are arguing, Daria. Most of the people hired to be the singers can hardly hold a note!'"


• Random fic, by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "Her husband was at a gig, something he did mainly for fun these days. He'd long ago surrendered to the fact that his band was not going to support his family. But the gigs still gave him a rush that nothing could replace. Daria had stopped joining him after the baby was born, but she remembered the excitement of gig night well. There was always something magical about watching him on stage, and it always brought back the memories of the night that changed her life forever."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "O.K., Daria, just how hot was it 60 million years ago?' 'I dunno, Jane, let me check the paleothermometer....' 'Paleothermometer? I've never heard of it.' 'It's one of those ideas that didn't go quite far enough. You know, like the Small Bang Theory. Still, the invention has some positive uses....'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 19 and 20): "While she truly didn't care anymore for them, it only mattered because of Tom. Bianca didn't want to tarnish the opinion of the one person whose opinion actually mattered to her. Her one friend here, who didn't see her as some lust object or an agent of sabotage to be used. He saw a person, a friend. A feeling Bianca could barely remember, but she liked it." (Part 20)


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by peapotmaster (COMPLETE!): "Daria: I am Daria, and I didn't know I was related to some barbarian named He-Man. Magical powers were given to me when I lifted up my sword and said: "By the Honor of Grayskull!""


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The USA and Canada mine, So how did I do it?), by Cap (COMPLETE!): "Daria closed the heavy drapes turning around in disgust. She snapped her fingers at the nearest flunky."

But what if Jane was never deprogrammed?

Ninety-eight years ago today, the Girl Scouts and Girl Guides were created. About twenty years ago today, Jane Lane was deprogrammed after leaving the Girl Scouts so she would stop singing marching songs.

This is also the 9th anniversary of the premiere of "Camp Fear," in which we meet Daria's fan club, which had only one member. The club was disbanded after this episode.

One year ago today, we said goodbye to a wonderful member of our fandom. Thank you, Guy, for all you gave us. You are still The Man.

ARTz!!

• The incredible Kem gives us... Brittany as Q-bert! Weird, man, I'm tellin' ya.

PPMB

• Daria—The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 5): "This photo was taken a couple of months before Tom died." Jane took a deep breath. "Tom had taken a position at a small law firm. The pay was okay, but Tom loved the job. The firm mainly dealt with divorce cases involving spousal or domestic abuse. An ex-spouse of one of their clients came in irate over his divorce proceeding. He was armed to the teeth and just started firing. Three of his coworkers died on the scene. Tom and three others were injured. The gunman killed himself. Tom was shot twice, once in the right arm and once in the chest. He fought for two days. His sister and I were in the room with him when he passed." Jane's tears flowed freely. (OD)
  
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 13): "It's a good thing you found each other," Quinn said, "because nobody else could stand you."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 36: Brain of the Family, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): Finn was performing in school, and excelling at it. He had the whole package: tall, strong, handsome, and now smart. “So where does that leave me?” Daria sighed.
• Kamen Rider D, by Silver (Part 4): Jane poked her head out from the bushes, watching as the energy sphere engulfed Kamen Rider D, changing her back into Daria Morgendorffer. "One less monster," Jane commented dryly. Daria didn't respond. Jane poked her friend. "I'm fine," Daria told her flatly. "Just wondering what's with these monsters." Jane shrugged. "At least you're doing something. Me, I'm cowering behind the bushes."
• The Other Thing, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): After a while Jorge started to slow. He didn't stop digging or breaking dirt clods, but he didn't use the claw or trowel with any real force. He didn't seem tired, just listless. He stopped working and sat up on his heels. "Aunttany..." he said. "Yeah." "Why aren't you my mommy?"
• Rainbow Connection, by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): [Perhaps best not to give anything away here...]
• Zero G, by SigDiff (Part 2): "It's time for lunch. We've left the Oort cloud, by the way. If you weren't already, you two are now officially interstellar travelers. Would you like some pilot's wings?”

The Original "Die Hard" Man

George Washington was born this day many years ago, and pretty much everyone (I hope) knows he was the first President of the United States. Daria does a fair imitation of him at right, though strangely I don't ever recall seeing this alter ego at the end of any episode. It appeared only as part of a screen saver. Weird.

Anyway, of all the many excellent quotes we have from President Washington, one of the most unusual is something he said shortly before he passed away. "I die hard but am not afraid to go," he spoke on his deathbed. This phrase is of English origin and eventually led to the Die Hard movie series. And that brand of car batteries. Clever, that.

Famed poet Edna St. Vincent Millay (hooray!) was also born today, but not so long ago as George Washington. Quotes from her works have appeared in Daria fanfiction (here and here).

Finally, today is also World Thinking Day for the Girl Scouts and Girl Guides, of which Jane Lane was briefly a reluctant member (per "Antisocial Climbers").

NUUZ

• GLITTER BERRIES IS BACK!
• The official Daria Facebook site has a small message board going. I see Kara Wild and Brother Grimace there. Who else among the long-time PPMB/SFMB/etc. crowd is there? Anyone?
  

PPMB

• Daria: Hunter—Strictly Business, by Jim North (continued): "Hey, Morgendorffer," Jane said conversationally as they ran, "I know that I can keep this up all day, but you can't be enjoying this. Have we got a plan?" "Don't... get shot," Daria snarled.
• Finn Morgendorffer 33: Independence, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 6): “When Finn came around, there was a girl named Allison who was kinda cool, but then things got weird.” “How did things get weird?” “Let’s just say she likes all thirty-one flavors at Baskin-Robbins.” [If you know what I mean.]
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, Roentgen (Part 6): Daria was not called upon in the ensuing class discussion. It became clear to Daria that there were at least three girls who seemed to be Ms. Merritt's favorites. Mousy Girl—known as "Ms. Davidson"—and two others. It became even clearer that none of these young women were favorites because of their looks, or lack of looks, or style, or lack of style. Each of these girls, Daria's potential rivals, knew the material and could expound upon it. They weren't dummies.
• A Ticket to Ride, by Doggieboy (continued): “We are going to relax,” Ted said, “and enjoy the scenery.” Then he glanced at Linda's breasts. “I’ll especially enjoy the twin peaks.”

Grrrl Pwrrr!

Ninety-six years ago today, the Girl Scouts of America was created. About twenty years ago today, Jane Lane was deprogrammed after leaving the Girl Scouts so she would stop singing about John Jacob Jingleheimer etc. (We need more Girl Scout Jane fanfic, hint hint.)

Speaking of Lanes, Wouter has issued an Iron Chef challenge called "The Other Lane Girls," in which he asks all artists to try their hands at drawing Summer and Penny Lane.

Speaking of fan art, Christ Oliver presents "Another kiss... almost!" which is an updated version of a picture he drew of Daria and Jane a while ago. Check it out.

Speaking of other Daria and Jane fanworks:

PPMB

• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic, by LSauchelli (Part 6.1): Messing with insane gods can be hazardous to your health and everything else.
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 15): Daria breaks another heart, but it appears that at this high school she's going to break many more. (SFMB version here.)
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Upchuck as you've rarely seen him: likable.

More later, and always remember this special thought. Cheers!