Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Maybe Ms. Li Was Right After All

Is Principal Angela Li paranoid, or is the universe really out to get her and her school? Let's review the evidence. In the space of Daria's three years at Lawndale High School, the facility undergoes numerous scandals and traumas, to include (among other things):
  • Roller hockey game between faculty and DJs turns violent ("The Big House")
  • Death of a locally famous alumni in a freak accident on the football field ("The Misery Chick")
  • Sabotage at a student art show ("Arts 'N Crass")
  • Collapse of the library roof ("Fair Enough")
  • Food poisoning in the student cafeteria ("Groped by an Angel")
  • Near disaster from hurricane ("Daria!")
  • Brief invasion by extradimensional beings ("Depth Takes a Holiday")
  • Quarterback injured, rumors of school haunting, disastrous football season ("A Tree Grows in Lawndale")
  • Teacher arrested under false pretenses during a secret government investigation ("The Lawndale File")
  • Near disaster on nighttime school outing: passenger ship collides with a barge and sinks ("Just Add Water")
  • Near disaster on daytime school outing: lost in mountains during a blizzard ("Antisocial Climbers")
  • County-wide budget shortfall crisis leads to an unwise endorsement contract that causes the football team to sicken and Ms. Li to go temporarily insane and attack soda machines with a fire axe ("Fizz Ed")
  • Teachers' strike leads to incompetent teachers, pedophiles, and high-school students being used as substitutes ("Lucky Strike")

To the above, let's add:

  • DeMartino's previous heart attack during roller-hockey game ("The Big House")
  • Football coach convicted of kickback scheme (The Daria Diaries)
  • Grade-fixing scandal that resulted in graduating seniors being removed from college and sent back to LHS for remedial classes (The Daria Diaries)

Doesn't this compendium of angst seem a little excessive? (Not by my standards, of course. I meant by your standards.) Maybe LHS was built over an ancient Indian burial ground or something, who knows. Ms. Li's precautions don't look so crazy in this light, do they? She never knew what was coming next and tried to prepare for anything. Sounds smart to me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is why you should never allow MTV to film an animated series at your school. The producers have all sorts of ways to make life "interesting".