Sunday, February 8, 2009

A Few More Ideas For A Slow Sunday

What if this scene from "Psychotherapy" wasn't just Quinn's imagination?

Quinn (hypnotized) – Oh Caesar, please don’t poison me. I could love you, but those togas make your butt look so big.

Daria – Oh, God.

Quinn – And what’s with that headband? Olive leaves are so BC.

Jean-Michel – Looks like she’s experiencing a past-life regression.

Daria – You’ve got the regression part right.

Quinn – Help, someone help me! Some king wants kill me for loving some soldier or something before I’ve had time to pass on my secret formula for eye liner. Oh Caesar, ya big idiot! Do something!

Daria – Impressive grasp of history, but she forgot the part where they all board Noah’s Ark for a Caribbean cruise.

Jean-Michel – Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems. But I must say, you’re remarkably well adjusted…considering.

Quinn – You’d think someone would’ve invented eye liner before me. But no, I, Cleopatra, have to come up with all my beauty products on my own. Oh, what a hard life.

(Daria stands)

Daria – At the count of ten, I will snap my fingers, and hopefully remember none of this.

Or in "I Don't":

Daria - Actually, I'm in the witness protection program. The Morgendorffers were kind enough to take me in after my real family was exterminated by the mob.

Instead of just Daria, the entire Morgendorffer family arrived in Lawndale as part of the Witness Protection Program. Maybe they had to flee Highland after their cover there had been lost (probably because of Beavis and Butthead, no doubt).

Or from "That Was Then, This Is Dumb":

Willow - (clasps Daria's hands) You have a very old soul.

Daria - It just looks mature for its age.

Daria does have an old soul... she's immortal

(All quotes are from Outpost Daria transcripts.)

Use them, abuse them, or just have fun with them.

1 comment:

The Angst Guy said...

I would love to see Quinn get bonked on the head and awaken as her version of Cleopatra. That would be too, too funny.