Science Marches On!

One thing on which I know every Daria fan can agree is that science is at its finest when it involves attempts to measure the size of huge cartoon breasts. This is a challenge worthy of Sir Isaac Newton or any other famous science guy, even Mister Wizard. The greatest challenge of all cartoon-boob-measuring challenges is, of course, the Mount Everests of them all, Helen Morgendorffer (seen at left).

True, there was one person who might possibly have had huger bosoms than Helen, and that would be Miss September from The Daria Diaries (seen at right), but we all agree it would be a close race.

The problem is this: how can concerned scientists like ourselves possibly measure a two-dimensional person for a three-dimensional characteristic like boob size? And the answer is: by using science. This month, what's left of it, we will attempt to solve the crucial conundrum of Helen Morgendorffer's magnificent mammaries using only the finest scientific methods available to humanity. If you have some suggestions of your own for achieving this worthy goal, by all means post them here and we will see if this solves this global crisis. (Get it? Global?)

Stay tuned and hang on. Our journey is bound to get bumpy.

OTHER NEWS: Latest DariaWiki page: USAES!

CINCGREEN, having finished "Data Dump," moves on into new territory!