Oops, She Did It Again!

Avert your eyes from this disturbing alter ego, but also know that today is pop singer Britney Spears's 38th birthday! I'm sure Quinn will be happy to know, because I can easily see her as a fan.

Of course, Quinn will probably be busy shopping online today, because it's also Cyber Monday! By now the internet is pervasive enough that she probably doesn't need the assistance of any technical types, cute or otherwise.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "'And for our next discussion leader, I'd like to welcome Cynic,' said Thunderer, current head of the Las Vegas PRT."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 32): "The day had been long and really boring so far. It seemed totally incongruous to Daria that waking a sleeping alien should be something that made it so hard for her to keep her eyes open!"


• Daria the teenage witch (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town... We can trust you to be careful this time, right ?" (Part 2)


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 19): "'Tom?' Daria was surprised to see him waiting for her when she had gotten home that evening. He was leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets looking down. He barely looked up at her when she said his name."


• History lesson (SUPERIORS), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "The bell rang, marking the end of the lesson. Very well, that's it for today. Have a nice vacation. Said an afroamerican woman in her late 30's."


• Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (COMPLETE!): "A borrowed space in late summer, between the arboretum soil and the branches of a weeping linden. Two young women. 'Jane, when did we meet? For the first time?'"


• One Scrunchie to Rule the Mall, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Three girls sat on the floor, staring at the Mickey Mouse clock on Stacy Rowe's bedroom wall. The hands crawled to one minute past seven, and Quinn bounced up to sit on the bed--the official seat for the President of the Fashion Club."


• Remember Me, by Lady Evil (part 1): "OK, don't be nervous. Clarissa told herself as she approached the new club rooms at Cedars of Lawndale. It's just a guitar lesson. You don't have to impress him or anything."


• Sandi's Wonderful Life (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Stacy, Lindy and Brittany along with their husbands are frantically awaiting word on Sandi's condition. Stacy is hysterical." (Part 3)


• Time and time again (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (part 1): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?"


• Unconventional life choices (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (part 1): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town... And we don't want things to become difficult for both of you, do you understand ?"


• The Walking Dead, by Sofa King (COMPLETE!): "Dear Diary: October 3: This afternoon turned into a 'smother' day with Mom. I knew as soon as I walked through the door and saw her flipping through old photo albums that I was in for it."

It Was a Good Day for Humorists!

Daria's getting into the spirit (in a matter of speaking) because today's the anniversary of Mark Twain's (a.k.a Samuel Clemens's) birth in 1835! She was a fan of his work, including Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, but it's still open for debate whether or not he was responsible for creating Huckleberry Hound.

Speaking of famous satirists, today is also the anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667. Swift was known for his story Gulliver's Travels and his essay A Modest Proposal, the latter of which advocated for eating babies. Satirically, of course, but don't tell that last part to the Fashion Club. I'd love to see their reactions.

Fandom News!

• Play a new game: I Heard It In A Movie.


• mscoolbear has news for those who knew Ahmygoddess.


• Discuss the recent terror attack in London.


• What do you think about the riots in Iraq?


• Share your thoughts on the movie Terminator: Dark Fate.

A Day For Screwed-up Family Problems and Getting Depressed By the End of the Day

Looks like the Morgendorffers have gone for a fully traditional pilgrim Thanksgiving, unless Quinn just pissed Daria off once too many. For fans in the United States, have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your tryptophan coma! In the meantime, enjoy this list of Thanksgiving-themed Daria fanfics and feel free to add any I've missed in the comments.

• Arrivals and Returns (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Angelinhel


• Bitter Harvest (The Heather/Damsel Chronicles), by NightGoblyn


• Daria Went Down to Georgia (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• For This, We're Thankful (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Home for Thanksgiving (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Meanwhile In..., by Wyvern337


• Over the River and Through the Mood Swings, by Kristen Bealer


• Pause in the Air and Thanks Giving, by The Angst Guy


• The Holidays are just Crazy! (Rude Awakening) by DIsaac


• Thanksgiving with the Griffins, by Komotose


• Thanks, but no Thanks-giving, by Matt


• Turkey Days, by Patrick Moore


• Where Do We Go From Here? (Daria/Dorian) by LadieT

Fanfic Update!

• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (COMPLETE!): "Dear Diary, I always did want to start one of those online blogs but restoring the internet to Lawndale is taking a bit longer than expected. So until then, this will have to do."


• Gummy Bears (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was a bright and sunny day in the magic woods."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 175): "Elsie was never happy about the bread. For the last few weeks, she and Julie Regan had been having brunch at Italian Labs, a new bistro that had opened in Swedesville. The excuse Elsie had was that she had wanted to learn to cook."


• Sandi's Wonderful Life (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn, Stacy, Lindy and Sandi are seated at the kitchen table working on decorations for an upcoming Christmas party. Quinn, Stacy and Lindy are visibly happy while Sandi looks miserable. Quinn: 'Thanks for helping me set up for my Christmas Eve party.'"

Piece of Cake!

For once, Quinn and I are in agreement about celebrating National Cake Day. I don't know how she managed to bake and frost an entire cake without breaking a nail or burning down the kitchen, but I never turn down free chocolate cake.

Today is also Shopping Reminder Day, so Quinn had better put down the cake and get to Cashman's right away! Just set the cake down right here next to me. I'll take good care of it, I promise.

Fandom News!

• The 2019 Completed Daria Fanfiction list has been updated!


• Discuss a scathing new Pentagon report that blames Trump for the return of ISIS in Syria and Iraq.


• US veterans say Trump views the military 'as tool for massacres.' What do you think?

"Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys!"

The Three Js have gotten a little too excited about All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day, which honors the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species on this day in 1859. I don't know if those boys have any nieces or nephews, but anyone who has seen them fighting over Quinn would say the monkey comparison is accurate.

Fanfic Update!

• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'What am I being arrested for?' asked Amy as a stocky black woman in a bailiff uniform led her into the holding cell. 'Ain't it obvious, honey?' The stocky black woman gestured at Amy slink black sequined dress."


• Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jim and Elsie were in the waiting area. As they waited for word on Vito's condition Elsie paced nervously while Jim had his eyes glued to the TV set."


• Counting the Days (Daria and the Gang), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'...in order to maximize your mental power, you must start from the bottom...as great buildings are built brick by brick, beam by beam, board by board, girder by girder and ingot by ingot, in order to tap the full powers of the human mind, you must build a foundation. The first part of this foundation involves the division of time and the working units of time. The methods I will teach you are simply the conclusion of the physical training which you have completed if you are listening to this tape - '"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "'I say, Daria, what are you doing here?' he said. Daria was almost equally surprised. 'Cuthbert?' she said. 'Is that you?'"


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 18): "'Just a minute,' Jane opened the Lane door to see a disgruntled Tom on the other side. 'Tom, hi.' 'I didn't have anywhere else to go.' He spoke in stilted tones. Jane groaned on the inside."


• Something that Mr. O'Neill Doesn't Like (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Damn spiders!' Timothy O'Neill snapped as he smashed another one with a rolled up newspaper. 'It's the second one of the day.'"

Crunch Munch Nuts!

Jake's eager to celebrate National Cashew Day with his favorite nut, because "those are what the big guys eat!" Pick up a bag yourself from It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World and be sure to say hi to Daria while you're there. Assuming she isn't hiding in the back room.

Also on this day, "Her, Uh, Cane" by paperpusher was posted on FanFiction.net. It's the earliest story on the Daria list, dated all the way back to 1998. How time flies!

Fandom News!

• Talk about New York State's trouble with bail reform.


• Share your thoughts on the fanfic "Heroes."


• What do you think about "The Elric Saga" coming to TV?


• Discuss Trump wanting the U.S. out of NATO.

No, Brittany, That's Not How Perspective Works, Either

Either Brittany is trying out a weird new cheerleading move or she's gotten a little too into Absurdity Day. She really needn't try so hard, though. Daria can confirm that any time spent conversing with Brittany feels like an exercise in absurdity.

This is also Universal Children's Day, but don't expect Daria to celebrate. Remember: "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid."

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "Daria got permission to call home and tell her parents that she was still all right. She decided she'd use one of the auditorium building's side rooms if there was one unlocked and available. She'd call Dad; Mom was likely to be tied up conferring with clients, other lawyers, or tied up in court."


• Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A large group was assembled in the ballroom. The estate of the late Mad Cow Killer was recently auctioned off. The home and Dyson Beef were both now under new management. The new owner has just moved in to the house and this is his house warming party. The newest resident appears at the top of the dual stairs to welcome everyone. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 17 and 18): "Jake flinched. He then placed his hands on the arm rests of his seat and took two deep breaths. 'Hi—Ed,' he said." (Part 18)


• Doctor Who – An Ordinary Wednesday, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Oswald,' Angie began. Miss Oswald interrupted her. 'I have said that you can call me Clara.'"


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 17): "'I've gotten my applications filled out and sent in.' Daria answered Tom's reclining position."


• The lattest shitty fanfic in the sences no daria fanfic should have thread (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So like, my sister is a snarky bitch who thinks she has all the answers. It's why I prefer to pretend that she's my cousin, distant cousin, who has no fashion sense and is living with us because her parents biffed it in a car crash.'"


• Scenes, by JPAGC (part 4.2): "After exiting the elevator at the correct floor, Daria and Jane proceeded along the white corridors. Jane followed her friend, who navigated along the corridors without hesitation, passing obvious fellow visitors without stopping."


• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 6): "Daria, Jane, Adrian, and Andrea are in her room. 'Daria, this has got to be the coolest room.' Andrea pokes at the padding. 'I'm jealous.'"

As Least Black is Slenderizing

Tiffany's digging into the deeper, darker mysteries of life for Occult Day. Such mysteries include why horizontal stripes make your butt look big, how shiny objects became shiny, and how to spell her own name. Good luck on your own search for answers!

Today is also National Vichyssoise Day, so Quinn will probably visit Chez Pierre for some cold soup. Of course, anyone who wants authentic French food should go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Fandom News!

• Discuss potential changes to British broadband.

Mmmm, Cholesterol....

Daria and Jane are way ahead of us for National Fast Food Day. The Fashion Club will pass on eating any of that greasy food, but if we're (un)lucky then Quinn might favor us with a dramatic reading of her poem "The Greasy Fry." For a hilarious fanart take on the Fashion Club's hypothetical adventures with fast food, see S-C's brilliant Burger World.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Daria and Dusty returned to the command post shortly afterwards. She didn't see Captain Clueless. She would have dearly loved to see him gone, but with her luck, she suspected that he'd gone to the bathroom or reporting to Justice Department higher-ups."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 8): "'Well, I think you look adorable.' Mrs. Bennet was saying to Clarissa as they crossed the parking lot of the Zen. 'I look like a dork!' Clarissa countered."


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 16): "Daria shifted her backpack to a more comfortable position before taking a breath and heading down the road to take the long walk home from the library."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The small starship was in trouble. It had defeated the other ship, but it was out of control, entering the atmosphere of an M-Class planet at a rather steep angle. The crash landing was going to be terrible."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S8 - S11): "The Dalheim Studentbolig had all the amenities of a Fielding dorm, which is to say, no amenities at all. However, there were some important differences." (Part S9) (Part S10) (Part S11)


• Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Kevin, Mack, Jim, Chuck, Tony, Rev. Li, Chan and the guy with too much jewelry are seated at a conference table. At the head of the table sits a skinny red haired man in a business suit with a laptop." (Part 3)

That's a New Way to Bring Glory to Laaaawndale High!

I see that Ms. Li wasn't kidding about that brief career as a dancer, but who knew she was also a Louise Brooks impersonator for Brooks's birthday? Of course, anyone who's seen pictures of the late actress/dancer knows that Jane's the one she looks the most like.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and I really hope Mrs. Johannsen takes the following advice seriously:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

• Talk about Daria's cameo on Family Guy.


• J-D spotted a Daria avatar on Lenore Taylor's Twitter account.


• Watch and discuss the trailer for the new Scooby Doo movie.

Pizza and Books? Yes Please!

Ted's having a lovely National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day, but he's clearly stunned to find out that some people actually put fish on pizza. Wait until he hears about the pineapple controversy.

Today is also Young Readers Day, and while Daria fandom is more young at heart than physically youthful, I know we have more than the usual share of readers. Crack open a book and have some milk and cookies, okay?

Fanfic Update!

• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 7): "'Jesse, you CANNOT wear that!' Jane stated. 'Why?' he asked. 'Because.... It's indecent!' Jane couldn't believe he didn't realize that. Oh wait, she could."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S4 - S7): "'It is time to pour the holy libation!' Larry 'Gambler' Harris and Francis 'Fitz' Pennington III were entrusted with the sacred oils, in this case a mixture of baby oil and canola." (Part S5) (Part S6) (Part S7)


• Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "It's Thanksgiving and Jim and Kevin are standing in the driveway enjoying the cool November air. 'I love Thanksgiving,' said Kevin, 'You get to, like, totally stuff your face then burp and poop all you want. It's awesome.'"


• Nun Too Holy, by 90eyes (COMPLETE!): "Jake couldn't help but chuckle at what he was seeing. Quinn of all people had started walking around, completely dressed up in a nun's habit, for some reason."


• RelaTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Ted let the front door shut behind him as he walked out of the house. The fresh air felt nice and the setting sun was lovely. Even better, from outside he couldn't hear the agonized groaning of his father."

Oorah!

Sandi's showing off her new haircut in time for the anniversary of the United States Marine Corps, which was established on this day in 1775. For anyone who thinks there's no possible connection between military action and fashion, well, you've never seen Sandi and Quinn fight over a blouse at Cashman's.

On a lighter note, today is also the anniversary of the TV show Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. For an absolutely charming fanfic take on the show, see Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria."

Fandom News!

• What does Daria write? Share your theories in the thread.


• Discuss how Trump corrupted the American presidency in every imaginable way.


• J-D shares a little something for the Veronica Mars fans.

Anyone See a Herd of Beautiful Wild Ponies Running Free Across the Plains?

Daria's old school psychologist is wishing a happy birthday to Hermann Rorschach, born on this day in 1884. Rorschach is the creator of the inkblot test Daria took as a child, and later referenced in "Esteemsters." I'm not sure what he'd think of Ms. Manson's methods, but I suspect he wouldn't be a fan.

Today is also the anniversary of the births of Margaret Mitchell in 1900 and Brad--I mean, Bram Stoker in 1847. Both author's most famous works, Gone With the Wind and Dracula, were mentioned on Daria at various times.

Fanfic Update!

• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 24): "That evening, during dinner, Quinn told parents about the discussion she, Daniel and the fashion club had."


• Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'OK, we did it.' said Daria to Jane, her lab partner. 'We combined my DNA with yours, struck it with lightning because apparently electricity can do any random thing, and we have created life. What she we call it?'"


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 31): "'Now you go and find us somewhere to sit.' Erin carefully weaved her way to where Trevor sat on a patch of grass near the string quartet. After distributing coffee, she sat leaning against his shoulder."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S1 - S3): "Clayton Arbusto could hear the crunch of the grass underneath his boots as he walked under a sky the color of dead skin. He loved the place, loved the toughness that one needed to endure it but many times he felt like an explorer on the Planet of Texas, his own mind the worst of his companions." (Part S2) (Part S3)


• Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Lindy and Lauren are in an office. Realizing that she needs an edge Lindy is turning to a sponsor. For expediency's sake she's turning to in laws, specifically Chris and Jim's uncle Vito." (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (part 2): "Jane had been looking forward to her stay in Metropolis. The restaurants and the art museums were all as great as Cousin Lois said they were."


• Winter Is Coming: A Daria/GoT Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "The doorbell rang. Daria wondered if the pizza delivery guy had come by and went to open the door. She opened it and Grandma Ruth was standing on the doorstep."

Four Score and Seven Goths Ago

Andrea is celebrating, albeit in a very stoic style, the election of Abraham Lincoln as president of the United States. I guess it's hard to feel celebratory when the personification of your holiday is a complete douchebag. Not to mention having to share a holiday with George Washington.

Fandom News!

• Talk about bands that use Daria kind of lyrics.


• Discuss Trump's offer to send the US military into Mexico to 'wage war' on drug cartels.

Walk Like an Egyptian!

Either Mr. O'Neill knows that today is King Tut Day, the anniversary of the opening of King Tut's tomb in 1922, or he and Ms. Barch are into some really weird stuff. I hope it's the first one. Jake's still staring at that cereal box, trying to work out whether or not Tut was buried without his diver.

Today is also National Candy Day, so dig into that leftover Halloween candy stash! Daria and Jane might make another wager about the comparative quantity of ZooZoo Drops versus Juicy Joes.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Daria resumed, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. A couple of state troopers walking in escorting a shackled prisoner in a Texas Department of Corrections prison uniform."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 6): "It was the evening of the charity ball. A crystal chandelier reflected a thousand glistening lights on the gold toned walls of the Waldorf-Astoria ballroom. Melody adjusted the telescopic vision on the Venetian mask she was wearing. She had to find the Ambassador to Elbonia before..."


• Eat your heart out, by wheresthequeef (COMPLETE!): "Jane placed the baby pink cake on the kitchen table, the small sound it made bouncing off the linoleum. 'Ta-Da!'"


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 15): "'So Brittany is paying you to make her smart?' Jane questioned Daria once Daria had told her about Brittany's visit."


• Fear Leads To Anger (Iron Chef - Halloween), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "She was on her own. Home alone. Mummy and Daddy should have been there but they weren't."


• Fire Rescue For Fashion Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'Nine One One, what's your emergency?'"


• Lawndale High: The Next Generation - season 1, by Peridaniel (part 5): "Philip dispassionately stared at the dessert section of the lunch line as he walked past it. Lime-green gelatin, vaguely ghost-shaped marshmallow treats, and cupcakes piled with too much orange frosting and a piece of candy corn in the center stared back at him."


• Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Lindy is seated at the head of a large table. The others seated there were her husband, Chris, her infant son, Jason, Chris's brother, Jim, and Jim's wife, Quinn, as well as there seven year old triplet sons, Tommy, Timmy and Teddy."


• My Pres Friend (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria waited patiently in McVicker's office for him to come in and start chewing her out. She had been a part of the assembly where she was one of the few hand-picked to ask President Clinton a question -- hers was about college, but finished with asking if he was just jerking around with the collective youth of America."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Daria came to moaning. That groggy feeling would not go away. It felt like all the blood was rushing to her head. Her vision was blurred. She didn't have her glasses."

Gimme a B! Gimme a O! Gimme a O! Gimme a K!

The Lawndale High cheerleaders are shocked to find out that cheerleading officially began on this day in 1898. That's right, cheerleading is old! Gasp! Horror!

For those not inclined toward cheering for athletes, today is also Book Lovers Day. I suspect most of Daria fandom will be celebrating this one, not to mention Daria herself.

Fandom News!

• Share lyrics similar to something Mystik Spiral would write.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: JPAGC's Halloween and Lord Goring's Upchuck as Austin Powers.


• What are your thoughts on zero-waste shopping?


• Talk about creative ways comics and cartoons dealt with cursing and insults.

Boo!

Today is a spooky holiday, at least for pumpkins, because today is Carve a Pumpkin Day! I don't think anyone asked how the pumpkins feel about this one.

Of course, today is also Halloween, so get out there and trick-or-treat yourself some candy! Or, if you're hanging out with the actual personification of Halloween, go trash some rich neighborhoods with eggs and toilet paper.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "Daria must have dozed off at some point, because someone was shaking her shoulder. 'Wake up, Dar, I mean Cynic,' said Brittany. 'we're landing.'"


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 23): "For a few moments a heavy silence fell in the Morgendoffer's living room. Then Daniel, clearly astonished asked, 'Excuse me what ?!'"


• Drive, by atiyatortilla (parts 1 and 2): "From the outside looking in, the Griffins were the all-American family." (Part 2)


• Spare The Rod, Spoil The Quinn (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "While all of the kids are upstairs Quinn and Jim are in the living room, where Quinn is freaking out over her very public meltdown that day. 'I can't believe it,' said Quinn, 'I actually hit a child!'" (Part 3)

There's No Way This Will End Well

Jake's getting a little too enthusiastic about National Cat Day, and I think Mr. Whiskers is about to teach him the error of his ways. To all the cat lovers out there, please enjoy this day responsibly!

Today is also the anniversary of a major milestone for the internet in 1969, which is very appropriate. What goes together better than cats and the internet? Nothing, that's what.

Fandom News!

• somitomi posted a new artwork thread.


• Szcz posted a new Iron Chef: Uncovered Links.

Ruth Is Unimpressed By Your Decorating Skills

Hooray! It's Mother-In-Law Day! Helen's so happy, she's crying tears of joy. At least I think that's joy. Helen, put that bottle of wine down right now! It's American Beer Day, and if you're going to get wasted you'd better do it right!

Also, on this day in 1997, Daria appeared in Fortune Magazine. She's in a photo with a whole bunch of cartoons, and she sure looks as thrilled about it as you'd expect.

Fanfic Update!

• Back To Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "The C-130 reached the end of the runway, revved up, and then took off, banking as it presumably turned towards the direction of Texas. The military transport's interior was noisy, much noisier than the airliners Daria had flown in."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 5): "'I really wish Ariel went to school with us.' Link said to Allen over lunch at school. 'Then I could just run into her and talk to her about the party instead of having to make up some reason to meet somewhere.'"


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 31): "As a safety precaution Daria, Shamus, Anton, and Darren had brought with them 'rescue balls.' These were inflatable containers that could hold about two hours of air."


• Spare The Rod, Spoil The Quinn (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn and Stacy are having lunch at Pizza King. While the place is a teen hangout the thrity-something best friends still like to eat here for sentimental reasons."

I'd Love to See Him Play Football Dressed Like That!

It's Punk for a Day Day, and Kevin is definitely dressed for the occasion. Not that you need an excuse, but this would be a good day to read (or re-read) Charles RB's God Save The Esteem series. It's more punk than...a lot of punk stuff, I guess. I'm not hip to the lingo.

Today is also the Feast of St. Daria, and while no one would actually call Daria a saint, I'm sure she'll be happy to feast on some pizza and/or cheese fries. Why not join in? It is a sacred day, after all!

Pizza and cheese fries sound like an especially good idea, because this happens to be National Greasy Foods Day on top of everything else. I find it hard to believe that's a coincidence, though. Daria's feast day would have to involve greasy food, wouldn't it?

Fandom News!

• Discuss Hillary Clinton's comments about Russian assets.


• What bands are similar to Mystik Spiral? Share your thoughts in the thread.


• Talk about the protests in Chile.

They Certainly LOOK Mental in the Morning

Welcome to Good Mornings with Daria and Jane, where we'll be discussing the fact that today is TV Talk Show Host Day! The hosts would really like to wake up from this nightmare, but first a word from our sponsors!

Also on this day in 2002, the Fashion Club made a cameo appearance in the webcomic Mall Monkeys. Did the artist get their good sides or does Tiffany need to break some fingers?

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "Daria finished toweling off, went to her locker, and started getting dressed. She hoped her trainer would think that she had a good workout. This exercise thing was not something she was used to." (Part 2)


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 22): "Daniel was tired. He couldn't wait to be home so he could finally rest. However he'd have to wait, since her sister's friend were there. And they had plans for him."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "Jake got the message on his cellphone while out on a sales call. 'Jake, our travel plans have just been modified,' said Helen's voice. She sounded angry yet resigned."


• Pure Magic (Odds and Ends), by LSM (COMPLETE!): "'Jesse, have you ever thought about how the world is a miracle?' 'Uhhhhh, sometimes. Like music, you can hear it but not see it, like that tree in the forest. That's messed up, but cool. Like the oceans, they go on so far but I can't see 'em.'"

Keep Those Good Vibes Flowing!

Jake, Helen, and all of their hippie friends are going to try one last time to levitate the Pentagon in honor of the real-life event that happened on this day in 1967. I doubt they'll succeed, but maybe Jake will manage not to break his foot this time. Not taking any bets on it, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the first Daria VHS tape, released on this day in 1997. Hooray for low image quality and the original music!

Fandom News!

• DocForbin suggests a possible solution to the Columbus Day/Indigenous Peoples Day controversy.


• Talk about the things they get away with in kids' cartoons.


• What do you think about turning fanfic into original fiction?

Abandon All Hope!

Daria's just revisiting an old scene from the computer game Daria's Inferno, which was released on this day in 2000. I have a copy, but I won't be playing it if only because I still get pissed off when I think about those steam tunnels.

Today is also Evaluate Your Life Day, so you should consider Jake's advice: "You walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

On second thought, maybe you shouldn't consider Jake's advice.

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Infinitum, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Skip was busy chanting 'Go Grizzlies!' when Amy marched over and snatched the microphone out of his hand. 'Hold on,' she interrupted. 'I want to say something.'"


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 4): "Sandi lay in her bed with her laptop and looked at the photos the Fashion Club had sent her. She sighed longingly at how the rest of the club had turned a bald girl with weak eyelashes and a too big nose into someone almost good enough for a fashion club junior league."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 14 and 15): "'Farrah still hasn't called or written me,' Daria wrote in her journal. 'I'm still feeling miserable. It's not just that I've had a falling-out with Farrah, but I don't know if I can still talk to Mr. Skein and I feel cut off from Laura and the Penricks. I still like Laura. I miss seeing and talking with her and I worry about how she's doing with the cancer.'" (Part 15)


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 30): "Erin was already halfway through her breakfast when her alarm went off. Her hair still damp from her early morning shower and toast still in her hand, she silenced the alarm. She regarded the clothes laid out on the bed."

Mack Daddy...To the Extreme!!!

Mack's shedding his down-to-earth persona to take a spin as Evel Knievel, who was born on this day in 1938. I thought Kevin was the one who liked to try motorcycle stunts, but Mack must have hidden depths no one has ever discovered.

Today is also Wear Something Gaudy Day, so this would be a good day to attend the Fashion Don'ts Costume Gala! Or not. Depends on how much of a tolerance you have for Fashion Club babble.

Fandom News!

• Talk about remedies for a potential U.S. recession.


• Rest in peace, Sam Bobrick.

No, Kids, You Don't Get the Day Off From School

The students of Lawndale High don't seem overly impressed that today is World Students' Day, but just wait until you see Mr. DeMartino's reaction. It won't be pleasant.

It's okay, Mr. D. Today is your day, too, because it's National Grouch Day! As one of the grumpiest characters on the show, you should definitely celebrate this one however you'd like. May I suggest a hike?

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Infinitum, by Kristen Bealer (part 5): "Everyone gathered around outside the camp office, where Skip and Mr. Potts were waiting. My Potts welcomed all of the former campers, then announced the beginning of a hike. Most of them, Daria included, seemed less than thrilled at the idea but Skip quickly bullied them into it."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 3): "The next night, the Morgendorfer Family was having dinner together. “'So, I know Tom was just being nice to Sandi,' said Quinn as she recounted yesterday's trip to the hospital. 'But the way Sandi smiled at him and called him wonderful was just...ew!' She shuddered theatrically. "


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 21): "The throw was very fast and angled. Daniel was too tired to dodge the football and surely couldn't punch it. He'd break a couple of finger at least! The only option was to block it."


• The Eternal Cynic, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'My Queen, Daria,' Sandyss leaned over the Queen's bed and gently shook her. 'Time to like rise and shine and face the new day.' Queen Daria groaned, stretched, sat up in bed and yawned. She waved aside the glass of cold water and the coof-derivative pills which Sandyss offered."


• Mad Cow Killer, A Life After Thirty Halloween Special, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Chad and Sandi are asleep in Chad's bed. While the sheets prevent us from seeing anything R-rated we can tell that they are both naked. Chad wakes up, turns over and stares at Sandi. Sandi starts to wake up." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

O RLY?

Jane seems to doubt that today is International Skeptics Day, which is perfect! That's the spirit, Jane!

Also on this day in 1999, the Paperpusher's Message Board (PPMB) was founded. Or somewhere around that date, anyway. The archaeological records from that distant era are sketchy at best, apparently.

Fandom News!

• Talk about companies' actions over the Hong Kong protests.


• Discuss RX-87's fanfic Daria VS 40K: Is It The Grim Darkness Of The Far Future Yet?

Which Came First?

I gotta give full credit to Joey for giving it his all for World Egg Day, but I think a trip to the grocery store would have been more than sufficient. Anything to impress Quinn, I guess.

Today is also National Sausage Pizza Day, so you'll probably find Daria and Jane at Pizza Prince in their usual spot. Of course, nonconformists that they are, I bet they ordered pepperoni today. Such rebels!

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Infinitum, by Kristen Bealer (parts 3 and 4): "'Hey, Daria, did you see Skip trip over that tree branch?' Amy asked during another of the camp's many nature hikes. 'He landed flat on his face. What a gas.'" (Part 4)


• Daria: Inverted (Twisted Tales from the Dariaverse), by Peridaniel (COMPLETE!): "Jane walked to the Morgendorffer household on her way to school, waiting in front of the door for her best friend to join her."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 13): "Farrah Dagworth looked at the pamphlet again and scowled. She'd found it in the hall bathroom at Daria's house and she might have left it alone except that it was one of several identical pamphlets lying on the floor all issued by someplace called the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 30): "Daria waited patiently as Darren and Anton brought the Explorer close to the derelict ship. It at least felt like it took as long to move the past 1,000 m (3300 ft) as it did to get to Uranus from Mars."


• Mad Cow Killer, A Life After Thirty Halloween Special, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "We first see a teenage couple making out in a convertible with the top down. The midnight hour approaches Now we see a man in a cow costume walk towards the car, wielding a butcher knife. The killing chill takes over him" (Part 2)

Moth to a Flame!

Trent is featured here as the firefighter least likely to inspire confidence on Fire Prevention Day, but at least he's awake this time. Chances are he's here to put out a fire at his own house if anyone forgot that rule about not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces.

Also on this day in 1998, Daria was named a "toon diva" in Entertainment Weekly. I think that's the first and only time Daria was referred to as any kind of diva.

Fandom News!

• Discussion is ongoing about the future of the PPMB.


• Talk about this season of CW DC shows in the new thread.


• Share your thoughts on the new Joker movie.

Follicle-Free, Anyway!

Everyone's favorite criminale is celebrating his jailbreak, which is appropriate because today is Bald and Free Day and he happens to be both! As well as a few other adjectives I could mention, but I'll let him off easy today.

Today is also the anniversary of the Broadway debut of the musical Cats on this day in 1982. Jake is probably still grumbling that he "could write songs for cats!" And, yes, I'm sure he could also write songs for dogs.

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Infinitum, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "'Good Lord, Rita, you can't possibly go out looking like that!' 'And why not?' Rita put a hand on her hip and struck a saucy pose, at which point the barely-there spaghetti straps holding up her low-cut top threatened to slide off her shoulders. 'Because you look like a...a...tramp!'" (Part 2)


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 2): "'Wow, you were right.' Jane said, looking at the candies scattered over the Pizza King table. 'There really are more ZooZoo Drops in a box than Juicy Joes.'"


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 20): "The following day, a mona lisa smile was printed on Daniel's face. Granted, he had never been a person, he usually avoided a party like this one ... but after months of confinement, this opportunity was really a breath of fresh air."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "Two weeks after Daria's birthday, Jake and Helen finally found a renter for their old house on Whirlwind Drive. The house had sat empty since the previous renters did a midnight flit after falling behind in their rent for a couple of months, then selling their refrigerator and dishwasher before they disappeared."


• Lawndale High: The Next Generation - season 1, by Peridaniel (part 4): " Welcome back to Lawndale, Stacy Rowe! The message was written in blue on a yellow banner and being hung across the main hallway of the school as the kids walked under it."

Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Kevin Thompson's Got to Go!

The Lawndale High faculty doesn't seem impressed by World Teachers' Day, but they'd probably be a lot more enthusiastic if they could earn a decent wage for once. Or if they didn't have to deal with Kevin. Either one would be reward enough.

Also on this day in 1998, Michelle Klein-Häss published her essay, "Morons in the Control Room." It was a call to action against the technical glitches in the Daria broadcasts in 1998. Check it out for a glimpse of fandom in the early days!

Fandom News!

• Can you help clear up some generational confusion?


• Talk about horror movies with Dark Kuno.


• Read and discuss essays about Daria and "The System" and Lucky Strike.


• ozferret wonders when the Morgandorffers became Jewish.

I Sense a Violent Game of Tug of War Coming On

It looks like Jane and Daria are about to have a disagreement about which one of them gets custody of Tom for National Boyfriends Day, but if it were up to me I'd say forget it and go have pizza together. Sisters before misters, amirite?

On the other hand, they're still probably having a better time than Quinn and Sandi, who are celebrating Mean Girls Day. Of course, as far as Sandi is concerned, that's every day.

Fanfic Update!

• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (parts 18 and 19): "Later, that day, Daniel and Brittany were standing in line in the cafeteria. 'Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet.' She said. 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.'" (Part 19)


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 29): "No one was waiting for her in the office. Erin had not expected it. When she found the building's foyer empty, she was a little surprised. When none of her friends were waiting on the side-walk she was disappointed but she headed towards their usual coffee shop."


• From Champ To Chump (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Lauren was angrily ringing the bell and pounding on the front door. Ultra immediately answered. 'Hey, babe,' he said with a goofy smile, 'What's up?'"


• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 5): "Daria, Jane, and Adrian are bored listening to the economics teacher, Mrs. Bennet talk. 'Can anyone give me an example of this kind of flow?' Someone raises their hand. 'The mall?'"

Now She's in the Old-Fashioned Club

Time was not kind to Quinn, who's here to celebrate International Day of Older Persons. I'm sure Sandi would gloat, but there's little reason to think she looks any better at this age. Or, if she does, I suspect Dr. Shar had something to do with it.

Today is also National Homemade Cookies Day, so join Helen and Rita in picking which tube to slice and bake. Daria will be waiting outside your door with a plate of heart-shaped cookies and a super-creepy grin.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the classification of the "OK" gesture as a symbol of hate.


• Charles RB posted a new Iron Chef: Mack Is Jane's Addition.


• What do you think of the recent poll saying that most Americans think Arabic numerals should not be taught in school?


• jay wonders about the factors behind Daria's inspiration.


• Read (or re-read) and talk about Chris Tucker's stories.


• Check out an old New York Times article about IIFY?

"Coffee...caffeine. Dark circles. Capisce?"

Daria's enjoying what might or might not be coffee on National Coffee Day, but she'd better not overdo it. Today is also World Heart Day, and too much caffeine wouldn't be healthy. Jake should take note, too, although I think caffeine for someone as high-strung as Jake is a bad idea even without his heart condition.

Fanfic Update!

• Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 14): "Jennifer yawned wide, earning herself a painful CLICK in her jaw. As she walked into the kitchen, still in her oversized nightshirt, she saw her mother sitting at the table, documents spread across it as she compared two piles of paper in her hands, and another laying before her."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 1): "Another day, Highland High was letting out. 'Of course I want to have dinner with you tonight, Tom!' Quinn was saying on her cell phone. 'But you know how important the fashion club is! Oh, yes, of course you're important too! Why don't you pick me up at Sandi's place at around sixish and we'll take it from there? Oh, I can borrow something from Sandi if I have to dress up first.'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 11): "Daria had never thought that an eleventh birthday would ever be important. But it was, at least in the magical world. She was now old enough to attend Ilvermorny and Hogwarts might or might not send her their acceptance letter."


• Divisive Loyalties (Iron Chef: Mack Is Jane's Addition), by Youth of Oz (COMPLETE!): "'Do you think I complain a lot?' asked Daria as she lay in Mack's arms, her auburn hair feathering against his dark chocolate skin. She was frowning slightly, but her glasses magnified it into a deeply-troubled scowl."


• From Champ To Chump, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "It's a brisk Friday night in the fall, which means only one thing: high school football. On the field Lawndale is playing a close game against Oakwood." (Part 2)


• You Want It Darker, by LSM (part 13): "'I told you you'd knock ‘em dead, baby.' She was curled up on Todd's lap, snuggled into him as he played with strands of her hair, strong fingers untangling the knots firmly but gently."

Hitting All the Right Notes

Quinn's certainly enjoying Love Note Day, although I'm sure no one could love Quinn nearly as much as she loves herself. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that she sent more than a few of those notes to herself.

Today is also Crush a Can Day, so Kevin will probably spend this super-romantic day smashing beer cans against his head. Same as any other day, come to think of it.

Fandom News!

• Talk about Thomas Cook going out of business.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted: Charles RB's Nathan Is One Of Us, Roentgen's Send a character on a nice vacation, and Robyn's Send a Character Backward in Time.


• Keep up with the latest news about Trump's impeachment.


• Vote in the Deathmatch poll between Geoffrey Cox MP and Lionel Hutz off The Simpsons.

You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Sensitive!

Mr. O'Neill's getting into the spirit of National Comic Book Day, but I think he's off the mark for this one. The wimpiest Daria character as one of the all-time strongest comic characters? I don't think so. Is there a comic book character out there called Spineless Man? Because he could totally nail that one.

Fanfic Update!

• The Creek Gang visit Lawndale, by sonofapreacherman (COMPLETE!): "The phone in the Morgendorffer's house rang. Before Quinn had the chance, Daria answered it. 'Hello' 'I see' 'What's your ETA?' 'Alright, but you should probably tell her that yourself' Daria handed the phone to Quinn"


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 17): "Daniel and Quinn were walking toward Lawndale high when three guys ran past them and stopped them. 'Hey, Quinn, can I carry your books?' 'Hey, Quinn, can I carry your ... pencil?' 'Hey, Quinn, can I carry your, uh, um ... got anything else?'"


• Happy Adversity, by Lady Evil (part 12): "'So, what did you think of the play?' asked Tom as he drove up to the Morgendorfer house. 'It was very, um....' I didn't understand a freaking word of it! 'Interesting.'"


• Lawndale High: The Next Generation - season 1, by Peridaniel (part 2): "Philip and Amy both stood by the front doors of the school, watching as rain pounded against the ground along with an occasional flash of lightning accompanied by a distant boom of thunder."


• Lawndale's Newest Cape (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, everyone! I'm Linda Griffin and I'm interviewing Lawndale's latest Cape.' A girl wearing a skintight red-and-white body-suit with a capital C on her chest, her face concealed by a mask stood next to Ms. Griffin."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Nathan Is One Of Us), by Youth of Oz (COMPLETE!): "'According to this,' said Dave, disinterest and contempt warring in his voice, 'Daria's coming back in "Daria and Jodie" about her black best friend coping with modern PC-virtue-signalling, glass ceilings and other prejudice.'"


• Very down under (Iron Chef: Send a character on a nice vacation), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "The old wind wheezed around them, in a sibling sound akin to a constant whip. Helen closed its hood closely, until only a small opening to her face was possible. Despite the layers of wool, polyester, leather and cotton of her clothes, she felt far from warm."

But Let's Not Celebrate This PARTICULAR Bisexual, Okay?

Alison is pleased to inform everyone that today is Celebrate Bisexuality Day, which would be great if Daria hadn't taken the only LGBT character and turned her into a predator. Oh, well.

This is also Banned Books Week, so please follow Daria's example and yell at the television! Or, better yet, read a banned book or two yourself.

Fandom News!

• Remember Papa Roach's "Last Resort" video? Find out what happened to the kids in it.


• Talk about Smijey's insane story Unbearable.


• Share your favorite cartoon Easter eggs.


• Discuss the end of Keith Knight's daily comic strip The Knight Life.

Peace Out!

Daria's going to have to do better than flash a peace sign if she wants to celebrate International Day of Peace. In fact, she'll probably opt to spend the whole day observing the quest for peace...and quiet while she reads a book.

Today is also the anniversary of the publication of The Hobbit on this day in 1937. If Jake didn't take this opportunity to make Helen another Hobbit-shaped candle, I'll be very disappointed.

Fanfic Update!

• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 16): "It was afternoon and it was very hot. Daniel fell to the ground on his back. His left cheek hurt due to the punch he received. He tasted blood in his mouth."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 29): "The Martian Explorer I came up alongside the derelict ship. The computer made certain that they did not collide with any debris along the way."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 32): "By the time Daria had arrived at the scene, she saw practically all the townspeople gathered together under the night sky. 'Where is he?' asked Daria, getting out of Mr. DeMartino's car."