Sláinte!

It looks like Saint Patrick’s Day is happy about being able to celebrate his day, even if he's not too satisfied with his lot in life. I think that there are worse things out there than congenital green beer-scented breath, though.

Still, as long as he keeps that smile on his face he'll be able to celebrate Act Happy Day, too. I'm sure Daria will feel no obligation to join in, however, because she doesn't even act happy when she is happy!

The episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000, respectively. Each of them included a party of sorts: the Middleton kegger, the school dance, and Kevin's imaginary funeral. I'll let you decide which was the happiest occasion.

Fanfic Update!

• Closer Than Before, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The lights were dimmed low, strobe lights lay on the floor, the sharp flashes reflecting throughout the apartment. A rich smell of alcohol, cheap perfume, weed, and sweat lingered in the air."


• The Groomless Bride (Daria and The Gang Thread), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Helen called the Morgendorffers into the kitchen. 'Everyone! I've just received a very important letter!'"


• I Remember Aurora, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The winter air bit at her cheeks, but she welcomed the cold. It helped numb the dreary feelings that had been washing over her."


• Jim the Terminator, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "At 5:30 AM the alarm clock on Jim's side of the bed goes off. Jim groaned, hit the off switch and got out of bed with a resigned sigh." (Part 3)


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 3): "Daria, after an exhausting day of dealing with the antics of the ever desperate and unpleasant Beavis, walked casually from Highland High to her house."


• Meanwhile, at the Legion of Lawndale Heroes...., by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jamie: This meeting of the Legion of Lawndale Heroes will come to order. Now, I would like to talk about the use of lethal force clause in the Legion Constitution."


• Oh, No, I Don't Need You But I Miss You, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was Brittany Taylor's first month at Great Prairie State University, and here she was, sitting on her queen-sized bed that was neatly laid out in her dorm."


• Pollo Asado, by MoleFromTheMinistry (COMPLETE!): "It was a rainy night – the streets were extra slick, with inches of rain pouring down across Boston. Fortunately for every other Bostonian, Jane Lane drove Daria across the city after an... interesting day."

No Short Jokes, Please!

I see the Holiday Island leprechaun is excited for Saint Patrick's Day, so I guess he's made his peace with the congenital green beer thing. If you celebrate today, please do so responsibly!

Today is also Absolutely Incredible Kid Day, so let's take the opportunity to remind Daria that "we tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just...don't...get it! What's wrong with you?!"

Finally, it was on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000 that the episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" first aired. If you combine all three (rowdy frat boys, parties, and murder) you get a pretty rockin' St. Patrick's Day!

Fanfic Update!

• Born in the USA, by ladyevil (part 1): "On the road, two Lawndale High school buses were traveling to Jim’s Paintball Jungle. On the first bus was Mr. O'Neill, Mr. DeMartino, Daria, Jane, Alfred, Jodie, Mack, Kevin, and Brittany."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "May started with a holiday. Hagrid and some of the older students spent the last several days of April gathering and stacking wood for a bonfire in one of the School’s green spaces and erected a May Pole in another." (Part 62) (Part 63)


• Fire in my head!, by 21stcentrenaissancelady (COMPLETE!): "Daria couldn’t get Tom’s gaze out of her mind. She remembered the exact moment."


• Lawndale Homecoming, by breitasparrow (part 7): "'You don’t have to do this,' Tom said as he watched Samantha pack up the last of her things. 'We’ve been doing well all this time.'"

This Particular Leprechaun Isn't So Lucky

Saint Patrick's Day hopes you all have an excellent holiday, complete with congenital green beer and four centuries of oppression.

Today is also another triple anniversary for the episodes "College Bored" in 1997, "Daria Dance Party" in 1999, and "Murder, She Snored" in 2000. One involved a lot of alcohol consumption, one was about a party, and the last included a death. Sounds like a good Saint Patrick's Day to me!

Fandom News!

• Discuss Trump's attempts to buy out the German medical research company CureVac.

Erin goooo Braaaaaaagh

Tiffany's favoring us with a lively jig for Saint Patrick's Day, and I think that's the first time anyone's used the word "lively" to refer to anything Tiffany's done. I suspect the influence of green beer, courtesy of Daria's least-favorite leprechaun. It could have been worse; she could have been hit by the love taser.

Today is also a triple Daria anniversary: "College Bored" in 1997, "Daria Dance Party" in 1999, and "Murder, She Snored" in 2000. Drinking, dancing, and death. Sounds like a typical Saint Patrick's Day to me!

Fanfic Update!

• Digest Readers, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "Hunger. The one thing that all life experiences, the ravenous aching emptiness that must be filled."


• Love Drunk (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Stacy are at the kitchen table talking. Quinn asked 'Why'd you want me to come over, Stacy? On the phone it sounded urgent.'" (Part 3)


• The New, Beat Up, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Ah, better.' Daria sighed as she took off the virtual reality helmet and the video game induced nausea eased in her queasy tummy."


• A Shared Suffering, by YouthofOz (prelude - part 3): "'Just the place?' spat Nigel in disgust. 'You call this the place? That collection of old tissues and half-chewed tic-tacs in your skull you laughably refer to as a "brain" have really done it this time, Andrew!'" (Part 1) (Part 2a) (Part 2b) (Part 3)


• Three Devils, by atiyatortilla (part 4): "A red Corvette cruised down a dark stretch of highway, one of only a handful of cars on the road this late at night."


• Together, by atiyatortilla (part 4): "Dr. Moskowitz's office was a therapist's wet dream."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria's Talking Dog), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "BRIAN: I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but I am a writer."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Pizza Addict), by TheBrodsterBoy (COMPLETE!): "DR MILLIPIEDS: Well girls, I think your finally cured. It's been 2 months since your last pizza, Jane, you stopped painting in Pizza Sauce, Daria, you stopped making out with a piece of pizza. I think you two might finally be-"


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 177): "The Legionnaires were down to a five-member detail. Half of the team had been sent back to America. Fran was sent back for obvious reasons, and Daria was sent back to recover from the flu. Jamie had almost recovered but was sent back anyway."


• You Want It Darker, by LSM (part 8): "The first thing she became aware of, that pulled her dreamily from her slumbers, was the smell. Crisp, clean and light with an undercurrent that was uniquely a person's own."

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?

Tiffany is dancing a surprisingly lively jig for Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm a little curious to know if she has the congenital green beer-flavored breath. If so, that might explain why she doesn't talk much.

Today is also a triple anniversary for the episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored," which all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. We had beer on the first one, dancing in the second, and yet another very surreal experience in the third. Fitting all around for Saint Patrick's Day episodes!

Fanfic Update!

• Chaos Theory (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "'We can fix this'. 'I don't think that we can'. 'What?' 'Daria, we can't just pretend that none of this ever happened because it did. And...I've been giving it a lot of thought and I think that it would be best if we didn't talk for awhile'."


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 13): "'Yeah, that's the correct address, thanks,' said Carrie before she hung up the pay phone (those still existed, but in an ever shrinking number)."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 6 and 7): "'I'm going to have it.' Daria and Jane sat together in Daria's room at the Morgendorffer residence. Daria had been surprised that Helen hadn't remodeled it since she had left for college." (Part 7)


• The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Usually Jodie Landon, oldest daughter of Andrew and Michele Landon, sister of Evan and Rachel Landon, skilled negotiator and businesswoman, was completely in control of her state of mind and emotions, never letting anyone getting one over her."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 1): "The owls were still flying by daylight throughout the British Isles, fireworks were still exploding by night, and people from Britain's wizarding world were so overcome by joy that they were still dancing in the streets where they could be seen by Muggles, but not in this part of Surrey."


• High School Never Ends, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 1): "Trent Lane thought that Monday mornings should've been illegal. He reflected on how nice it would be to have an extended weekend while he scrapped himself out of his computer chair."


• A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Well that was weird...' said Daria after she and Charles had left the incriminated classroom. 'Yeah.' said Charles trying to to curb the anger caused by the interruption."

Tiffany Go Bragh!

Tiffany would like to wish everyone a happy St. Patrick's Day, although I have no doubt the day will be over before she finishes saying it. While we wait, why not enjoy some St. Patrick's Day-themed fanfiction?

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• Éirinn go Blam by SinisterExaggerator


• Everything Happens For a Reason by Mahna Mahna


• Holiday Kombat by Richard Lobinske


• Last Dance by Dennis


• One Night Stand: A Misleading Title by Mitch


• Repeiceing Down the Girl by Morden Gans


• St. Patrick's Day Valentine by JoeMerl


• Three by Richard Lobinske


• Will Ye Go Lassie, Go? by thatLONERchick

In addition to that, today we celebrate the anniversary of "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored," which first aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. An anniversary three-fer!

Fandom News!

• Is Jane trustworthy with secrets? Share your thoughts in the thread.


• The SyFy Channel may return to showing science fiction--what do you think of the idea?


• Vukodlak's character Jack Kain now has a Character of the Week thread. Ask your questions!


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Trash Freakout Three Choices and malakite's The Grim Plot Reaper.

Celebrate Green Beer and Midgets!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Pat over there is a little busy trying to convince Daria to go on another zany adventure, but in the meantime please enjoy these St. Patrick's Day-themed fanfics:

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• Everything Happens For a Reason by Mahna Mahna


• Holiday Kombat by Richard Lobinske


• Last Dance by Dennis


• One Night Stand: A Misleading Title by Mitch


• Repeiceing Down the Girl by Morden Gans


• St. Patrick's Day Valentine by JoeMerl


• Three by Richard Lobinske


• Will Ye Go Lassie, Go? by thatLONERchick

Today also happens to be the anniversary of the original air dates of "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" in 1997, 1999, and 2000. I suppose keg parties, dancing, and violence are all St. Patrick's Day traditions in their own way, so it all works out.

Fanfic Update!

• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "'But what are you gonna do now that your mother gave you an ultimatum?' Daria exhaled and then said, 'Find an extracurricular, what else can I do? Do you have any ideas?'" (Part 3)


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (parts 5 and 6): "So Daria just grabbed a couple donuts and walked out without uttering a word, or hearing her sister make some comment about her breakfast choices. But as she opened the door for a brief instant it seemed like there had been someone standing on her front step. A blink of her eyelids however caused the image to vanish." (Part 6)


• Éirinn go Blam (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "St. Patrick's Day's elfin form awoke to find himself resting on a cold vinyl car seat. The windows were tinted, and a black partitition separated him from whomever was driving it."


• Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (part 1): "DARIA: Crap. We've got to weed through the all the idiots to hire the next great radio schmuck who would be dumb enough to take this job. JODIE: Yep. JANE: Good news is that you have plenty of schmucks to choose from!"


• The Thing 2, by Brain Camper (part 1): "Arkadiy: Has Alexei had any luck? [Shake of head] Desya: It's really strange. The weather's lightened up and still nothing. Arkadiy: Could it be the radio itself? Desya: Well, we managed to get in contact with our other base last week. The Norwegian one too, but they went dark a few days ago. "


• To Save Them, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "She never forgot that moment. It was etched into her mind, like a brand. For years, she had tried to find rhyme or reason to her sister's murder."


• Unnamed story (IC: In-universe Mary -Sue/ Self-Insert fanfiction), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, 007. How was the Australian Outback?' 'Surprisingly hot and wild, Miss Moneypenny. Of course, I was able to handle the situation.' 'Of course you were, Charles. So - how was the weather there?'"


• Unnamed story (IC: In-universe Mary -Sue/ Self-Insert fanfiction), by Ms. Kinnikufan (COMPLETE!): "Rachel Langdon was very glad to be at Hogwarts. She could finally escaped the scandal of her sister Jodie trying to kill the rest of the family."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria took her usual seat at the conference table and apologized for being late."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Sergeant Micheal 'Mad Dog' Morgendorffer, US Army, stood stiffly at attention before the desk, waiting as patiently as his position would allow him."

Wearing Head-to-Toe Bright Green? Tsk.

Begorrah! Erin go Bragh! And other Irish cliches as well! Because today is St. Patrick's Day, also known as an excuse for people to drink green beer and pinch people.

It's also an excuse for me to share this list of St. Patrick's Day-related fanfic, so enjoy!

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• Everything Happens For a Reason by Mahna Mahna


• Holiday Kombat by Richard Lobinske


• Last Dance by Dennis


• One Night Stand: A Misleading Title by Mitch


• Repeiceing Down the Girl by Morden Gans


• Three by Richard Lobinske


• Will Ye Go Lassie, Go? by thatLONERchick

Today is also a triple episode anniversary, as "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. Mmm, frat parties, high school parties, and Kevin's funeral. What's not to celebrate?

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: Esteemers, by Fhujeth_x (part 4): "'Uhm, like. Hi. Sandi Griffin, Fashion Club President.' Sandi walked over to Quinn as the four boys glanced back and forth from Sandi to Quinn, Stacy took position, looking at Sandi expectantly, 'You seem pretty cool...' She said, a follow up from her and Stacy's running into her that morning, meeting, 'Wanna like, be in our club and stuff?'"


• Animal Care, by januense (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Janey. I'm going to look for a job in town. Maybe I'll be out of home for a while. See you later' She replied, not really paying attention. 'Ok .... see you' She realized the meaning of Trent's words only when he was already out of the front door. She lost the grip on the paintbrush and turned her head to the now empty door, wide eyed. 'Wait .... did he REALLY said JOB ?!?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 1): "While Jane went downstairs to grab her drink, the phone in her room started to ring. Not thinking much of it, Quinn picked it up and spoke into it. 'Hello.' The voice on the other was shaken up. 'Quinn?' Picking up immediately who it was, Quinn responded with concern in her voice, 'Stacy, is that you? What’s wrong?'"


• Barch's Story* - Holy Image of Lies, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Taking a deep breath and yawning, the young science teacher took a deep breath and sighed, thinking about the amazingness of this Jeff guy. Sure, she didn't want a relationship at the moment, what with school and everything - but she was really interested in getting to know him and maybe... just maybe...-- *sneeze* Pulling a tissue from her pocket she wiped her nose, sitting down at a near by bench, sneezing again, then again... Looking around for the signs of a dog or something else she'd be allergic to [but she knew dogs weren't allowed on campus], she wiped her nose and began to breath in the fall air again." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 17 - 19): "Camera follows her gaze, Darth Maladi entering the library. Darth Maladi: 'Give me a minute,' continues on into the book farm. Camera returns to Daria and Jane. Daria: Nods 'Right.' Jane: After a pause, 'Oh, Darth Maladi, try not to kill Mathew, he may be a –' blurred mouth, noise, '-, but ... ... Actually, disregard.'" (Part 18) (Part 19)


• Don't Call My Name (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "After sneaking around for months it took courage to do what they did. 'Fernando, I.......Don't how to say this ......' They knew what had to be said."


• Fallout Lawndale: 2289, by Vukodlak (part 6): "They had almost made it unnoticed to the movie room when Kay and Elsie spotted them. 'Tom who’s the girl... Oh Daria so nice to see you your looking lovely' Kay smiled upon recognizing her. 'You really should visit more often.' 'Nice dress. What happened lose a bet?' Elsie laughed gawking at her outfit. 'Elsie apologize.' Kay scolded. 'No she’s right I lost a bet.' Daria sighed. It was going to be a really long week."


• Holy Image of Pies (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane was downstairs, popping popcorn for her and Daria's monthly Bad Movie Night, when she heard some unusual grunts and roars come from Daria's room upstairs. At first, Jane paid no attention to this, but then she realized that Daria had earlier finished all the pies she had baked in preparation for the screening of the movie and shouldn't have had anything to grunt or roar about."


• The Lindy Hop (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Angelboy (COMPLETE!): "Clutching the package in her hands carefully, she teased her bangs, giving them that look Quinn had always thought was so cute. Feeling her nerve fading, while a blush on her cheek grew, she knew that she had to do this soon, or forever lose the chance to be friends with Quinn. It was all in her court, and she couldn’t drop the ball now."


• Melody Powers, Book 1: "Our Chick in Havana" (Round Robin), by misericordia (part 1): "Overchuck visibly dragged his eyes upwards to make contact with Melody's. The diminutive orange haired homunculus rarely looked above her neck even when she wasn't dressed in a bikini as she - barely - was now. An automatic ROWRR died in his throat as he saw her clench her hand ready to give him a lethal blow and remembered how many men she had killed."


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, the Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Early in the morning, Cindy and Kristen approached the Morgendorffers house. 'This is going to be a great convention,' Cindy said. 'So you say,' Kristen said. She had heard Cindy and Quinn go on and on about it for the last week, along with Quinn's complaints about Daria's treatment of Kevin. 'You are going to enjoy it, just wait,' Cindy said as she pressed the Morgendorffer's doorbell."


• A Resentuful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 6): "'Ok, ok. Don’t get mad. You don’t have a crush on my brother,' said Jane as she rubbed her arm. 'Finally.' Said Andrea. 'You have a super crush.' Said Jane before Andrea lunged at her with a pillow. Seeing the girls jokingly fighting, Daria felt a pang of sadness, she had never been able to do anything like that. She had never had a friend."


• Rude Awakening Mini: The St. Patty Day, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "As alcohol is involved I feel it is important to run over our rules for this. I know as we are all adults we can respect a good beverage or two but please remember YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK AND ON AIR! Now can drink when your shift is over and Stacy, Daria, it's WHEN THE SHIFT IS OVER NOT BEFORE! And what the hell, Daria....before noon? What is with you?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Scarlett the Fairy and the Snowball Fight, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett hovered in the air as she weighed her options. She could go through the lot and risk being pelted by snowballs, or she could fly over the sidewalks and take the safe and normal route to the library. But flying over the lot cut at least ten minutes off her trip and the air was cold... Our young fairy did her best to set a speed flying record over the lot, and she weaved and bobbed to avoid the various snowballs. For instead of throwing at each other, all the boys turned their attention, and their snowballs, towards her."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, Chapter 4, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "Now that she had been cut off from the insurance money she found herself a little short on money, and she couldn’t exactly default on her payment to the Dinozzos -she liked her knees on her legs thank you very much- so she would have to get their 35% from the school funds. Since she had already put most of the teachers on the starvation threshold, and she dare not touch the sports, she would need to drain the maintenance fund." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Holy crap,' Daria said. 'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?' Jane said. 'Yes. I'm also thinking property damage, lawsuits, and our most certain expulsion from Lawndale High School.' 'Yeah,' Jane moaned. 'But still....'"


• Why?, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin wandered the hallways of Lawndale High School long after classes had ended, desperately seeking an answer to the question that had been plaguing him all day. He'd never encountered a mystery this deep, and the solution continued to elude him."

Roses Are Red, And Appreciated Too

This is Red Rose Day, the origin of which is not known but it still sells a lot of roses. Flower industry, maybe. Perhaps it is not coincidental that this is also Loving Day, the origin of which is most definitely known and highly appreciated. It is also Russia Day, and Russians are said to be fond of the color red, so it all works out.

N00Z!

• NEW! DariaWiki will undergo significant changes in the near future. Please read the new guidelines and feel free to ask questions on the DariaWiki thread on PPMB.

FF.net

• Daria Hunter: Collision Course, by Bhut (COMPLETE!): "...And so," said Ms. Li, "the school board decided to donate this grant to Lawndale High's Filmmaking Club!" "But we don't have this kind of club!" "We do now!" (Daria/Crocodile Hunter)

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): Jane and Tom sat at their usual table in the Zon. Between the music and the image of Dorian shirtless, Jane couldn't focus. Tom stared at her sad and distant face with concern. Jane felt his hand reach for hers. Her mind replayed her conversation with Dorian just hours earlier. We can't hold hands Jane. You have a boyfriend, remember?" Jane winced slightly. Tom gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 49: Blessed Be This Meal, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Hey.” Jane’s voice sounded on the phone when Finn answered it. “Hey. Good to hear from you again.” Finn relaxed as he lay down on his bed. “What’s up?” “Just wanted to ask a favor.” “For you? Anything.” “I wanted to know if you could check up on Trent next week.”
  
• Last Stand in a Small Southern Town, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): Jane and Daria rode their horses into the town and looked around the main business district. “This place is beginning to stink,” Daria said and sighed. Jane guided her horse towards the cantina and glanced at her partner in crime. “Amiga, this is Bolivia. They don’t have the sewage systems that the Eastern U.S. and Western Europe are famous for.” Daria glanced at her friend and shook her head. “That’s not what I’m talking about,” she said and pushed her hat back slightly. [Guess the crossover!]

Begorra! The Saints' Days of Holiday Island Preserve Us!

It's Saint Patrick's Day once again, time to drink green liquids and party party party and pretend you're Irish and all that traditional stuff. We have the Holiday Island leprechaun-type St. Patrick here, and the Tiffany alter ego-type St. Patrick, so do it to it.

These two costumes, by the way, would be extremely easy to duplicate for those fans whacked out just enough to do it.

"College Bored" (season one, 13 years ago), "Daria Dance Party" (season three, 11 years ago), and "Murder, She Snored" (season four, 10 years ago) all premiered on this date. Another three good reasons to celebrate the date!

NEW! N0O0Z

• I'm seeing reports that the first two season of Daria are also available at iTunes.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 37: Mature Relationships, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “There’s this... squirrel!” Jake ranted. “Knocking over my trashcans, digging near my shrubs!” “Yeah, squirrels are pretty aggravating,” Tom agreed. “Tom, don’t encourage him,” Daria remarked. “I’ve been trying to catch him, but dammit, the squirrel grabs the acorns and the stupid trap doesn’t close!” “Ummm... have you tried something sticky?” Stacy asked. “I know they like peanut butter, maybe that’ll get it caught.”
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 19): Daria first ran to Nastasya Mackenzie. She pressed a quick thumb into her carotid artery, but could detect no beat there; there was not another moment to be lost on anything more. She had to disarm all the guards, before anything else.
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 16b): "Why do they call Clarissa van Maar 'Tony'?" asked Quinn. "A lot of it's kind of weird," said Jill. "But I can show you. Tony!" "Hello, Jill," Clarissa said. "How are things, Tony?" "Things are [i]grrr[/i]eat."
  
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 2): While his team fitted charges around the six Architects Gates in the room, Ian Llwyd held off a group of trans-dimensional pirates who had been using the distribution node as their base of operations to loot and steal across the multiverse. His number two called, "Ready, Ian!" In a Cornwall accent, Ian said, "Fall back to the rally point and prepare to leave!" Keeping up a steady stream of covering fire with his modified Sterling submachine gun, he backed to the rally point while also keeping a wary eye on the explosives.
• NEW! Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): The crowd of over 300,000 screaming fans cheered as Tom Sloane picked up his guitar and stepped to the front of the stage for the final song of the night.
  

Isn't Beer What College Is All About?

Ah, academia! As part of our continuing series on stupid events in history that kind of relate to Daria, in a sick sad way, we bring you word of the St. Scholastica Day Riot in Oxford, England (yes, that Oxford) only 655 years ago. An argument over beer between Oxford students and townspeople of Oxford led to a pitched battle in which a lot of college students and normal people lost their lives. I repeat, the argument was over beer.

Depressing, I know, that we haven't advanced an iota since then. (Go to the link and read down the column to the part about 1996.) Of course, Quinn Morgendorffer, the 1997 Middleton College Fraternity Row Keg Queen, is our mascot for today.

DVDaria NooZ!

• Kara Wild ruminates on our fandom's years-long quest for DVDs. Join in the ruminations!
• Amazon.com has a page for getting notified about the DVD set's release, but DVDEmpire has already set up a pre-order page with discounts (that might get taken back, so be careful here).
• TVShowsOnDVD has a page with lots of pre-release info: "Daria - Pricing and Final Package Art for The Complete Animated Series"

FF.net

• Brittany Wants Daria, by a440 (Part 1): Worst of all was the fact that on the third Saturday in October Brittany had planned to celebrate Sweetest Day with the QB, but now that he and his parents were dead, the blonde had no one to celebrate it with and, worse still, she had bought something special for the occasion and she feared it would be wasted.
• The Girl with Golden Eyes, by Michellesdaughter (Part 5): “This is weird... you’re marrying Tom,” Trent said with an honest turn. She gave a little shrug and picked up his guitar, strumming lightly some tune that they both seemed to recognize. He looked away trying to continue his brotherly conversation although the whole thing seemed like rehearsal for an after-school special.
• NEW! The Prodigal Daughter, by a440 (Parts 3 and 4): As expected, prison life was anything but groovy tunes for Brittany when she first arrived, and at first sight, she could see the signs of trouble...
  

PPMB

• collar, by Jim North (Part 2): "So, how was your day?" Stacy asked. "Almost completely unbearable," Sandi moaned as she turned to putty under the other woman's ministrations. "But it's already starting to get better."
  
• Daria and Jane and the Bag O' Noodles, Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "When we get to Daytona, and you have a few drinks in you..." "Yes?" "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
• Daria: Hunter 5—Strictly Business, by Jim North (continued): As the others scurried around them, Quinn turned back to Michael and said, "So, Mr. Landon, what's it like being a vice president in one of the world's biggest corporations?" "Busy," he chuckled. "And please, call me Mack."
• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar (continued): If you were paying close attention to the credits you may have noticed something in the credits of Daria....
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 31: TATBTBAHB, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Daria felt funny in many different ways. She had never actually made out with anyone before. She wasn’t even sure she was doing it right. Tom wasn’t complaining; she took that as a good sign. [Ending is here.]
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 32: It Happened One Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “So aren’t you and Daria going on a date?” Finn asked. “She’s in her room. I’m sure she’d love to see you. Or she’d hate to see you around me.” “Finn, I already admitted I screwed up. What more do you want?” Tom asked.
  
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 10): All her rummaging failed to locate a weapon. The disappointment of that sharpened her sense of danger from an outside source.
• NEW! It's All About the Intention, by Psychotol (Part 1): “What can I do for you, Mr. Secretary?” asked Brigadier General Daria Morgendorffer.
  
• Our Founding Father, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer," the man said, "I am in need of your help. The Republic is in need of your help. You country calls upon you in its hour of need." "And you are?" asked Daria. "I believe that I am well known in this era," said the man, with a small amount of pride. "I am George Washington, the man who earned the office of the first President of the United States."
• A Reaper in the Wind, by RLobinske (Part 8): McGee set the computer to sleep mode and said, "I thought it was strange that the flight crew didn't come back here to check on things. We're on a rendition flight without a prisoner." Tom looked up from his book. "Deniability. We don't see them and they don't see us. Prisoners aren't the only things moved around on these flights."
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): The Mayor of the City of Lawndale, Angela Li, looked at the open metal box with the electronic lock for a moment, then removed the bit of folded paper within it. With a raised eyebrow, she carefully unfurled the parchment and revealed a message that was printed over a map of the City of Lawndale's Power Supply Center.
  
• Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): Almost asleep, Daria heard a strange clatter in her closet. Curious, she had just swung her legs over the edge of the bed when the closet door opened and a group of little people stumbled and fell out. [Guess the crossover!]

Role Model

Today is the 37th birthday of model and actress Jenny McCarthy, rumored to have been the actual role model for Brittany Taylor. Given Ms. McCarthy's recent forays into medical science... no, I won't say it. Too easy. Sorry.

Today is also World Vegan Day, which is curious because Ms. McCarthy is a vegan. When it rains, it pours, I guess.

AND... today is Samhain, All Saints Day, the Day of the Dead, and a bunch of other things. Tiffany's alter-ego costume at left is exactly that for Mexico's Day of the Dead. Nice multicultural touch, there. Wonder what Samhain and the others are like at Holiday Island High.

Hope you remembered to set your clocks back an hour today, if you live where they do daylight savings time. Enjoy the extra hour of sleep.

PPMB

• Beasts, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): “Did you just kill Fluffy?” Sandi Griffin said oddly calm tone. Her ears were ringing from the gunshot blast that was echoing around them in the small store. Quinn Morgendorffer flipped her hair over her shoulder with a small shrug. “How am I supposed to know?” She pumped the 12-gauge shotgun. “It was the size of dog and had large teeth, now it’s in pieces.”
• Dinnertime, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett, dear, you have to come out of your room sometime." The voice of her mother caused the girl to open her eyes and look at the closed and locked door. "I can't do it," she said. "I won't do it." "You cannot stay in there forever."
• Finn Morgendorffer 11: Man of Honor, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “I’ll make sure my tuxedo matches the dresses.” “I’ve already contacted the bridal store, you can see them there.” Rita instructed. “Also, Daria’s going to be one of the bridesmaids.” “Really?” Finn tried to hide his disappointment. Daria was not cheerful enough to be in a wedding. She hated dresses anyway.
• Halloween Treats, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): The kids at the front door of the Morgendorffer house took a step back in unison as the door opened to show a hulking, hooded figure, holding a large bowl of candy. The voice beneath the overly large hood was distinctly feminine, although raspy; it was slightly breathless, with a throaty timbre to it. "Yes...?"
• Late Bloomer, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): Daria sat upright in her bed cover in sweat. She could feel the flames still licking at her skin. Oh my god, that was a little too realistic, she thought as her heart tried to beat its way free from her ribcage. Her arms actually ached from where they had been bound in the dream. With a sigh of relief she dropped back down to her pillow. My hands were tied to something and I was on fire. That was the worst dream I’ve had in a long time. [Begs for more!]
• Slow Night, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): “The Vampires have been forced back and the Lycans are wiped out. The Zack outbreak was pretty minor and I’ve got it cleaned up already. I’m tired and I want to go home. I’ve spent most of the night chasing crazy teenagers who like to dress up.”
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Destroy all that is evil," spoke the elder. "So that what is good may flourish," replied the younger.
  

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My, How Opinions Change

Or at least Helen's, when it comes to selecting a college for her daughter.

In the season 1 story, "College Bored", Helen was excited about taking Daria and Quinn to see Middleton College (from the Outpost Daria transcript):

Quinn - We have to visit a college of our choosing.

Helen - Great! We'll go to Middleton!

Jake - We'll all head up to the old alma mater this weekend!

Quinn - Wait! We get to pick the college, and no one said you could come.

Helen - But Quinn, your father and I would love it if you kids followed in our footsteps.

However, by the time Is It College Yet? rolled around, Helen had much less enthusiasm for Daria to attend her old college (Outpost Daria transcript):

Daria – I didn’t get into the school that I wanted, and you wanted for me. What am I supposed to think about my prospects?

Helen – Your prospects? Daria, you’ll be going to your second choice college, not prison. Look at me, I went to Middleton. It’s not half the school that Raft is.

Daria – What?

Helen – Middleton’s not half the school that Raft is, as you know damned well. I applied to college during the height of the baby boom. Competition was so fierce I got rejected from my first and second choices. And, see, I lived to tell about it.

Daria – Um, Dad seems to think Middleton’s hot stuff.

Helen – Your father needs to maintain certain illusions about his youth in order to function. It’s…(forced laugh)…cute.

Which makes you wonder about what happened. Did the visit in "College Bored" turn Helen off of her old school? Was it a subtle plot to convince her daughters to be careful about the college they choose? A matter of Helen maturing as a mother? Or the writers not remembering the events of "College Bored"?

Just Say "No"

The World Health Organization has declared the last day of May to be World No Tobacco Day, a U.N. holiday I can get along with. This student probably chases after all the other students who try to smoke at Holiday Island High. I tried to get an interdiction symbol over Heather's cigarette at left, but I'm not that graphically skilled. Dang. On a side note, I always thought having a gangster villain named Big Tobacco on Mystery Men was dead-on cool. That was perfect.

Today is also Syaday (Confusion 5) in the Discordian calendar, also known as Gulikday and Fearless Fred Day, but I am darned if I can figure out what it's all about. I think that was the whole point, though. This is a really, really confused Holiday Island kid. Probably on meds.

More shortly, lots to do today.

Meet Heather

Buckskin-clad Heather No-Last-Name from "College Bored" is interesting for a number of reasons. She is one of the few characters shown smoking in the series. Her level of cynicism not only matches Daria's but threatens to outdo it. In a way she comes across as a possible future Daria, complaining about the realities of college life and even watching Sick, Sad World on TV. Heather gets other people to write her college papers, but Daria is perfectly willing to "fix" the papers, so neither has the moral upper hand.

The similarities have limits, of course: Daria, a sophomore in high school, is vastly more intelligent and competent than Heather, and she displays a real mercenary streak in rewriting and evaluating papers. The college students who flock to her come across as morons. Still, Heather gives Daria forewarning of the problems inherent in college life, information Daria doubtless files away for future reference.

Heather will certainly remember Daria in a favorable way should they meet each other later in life. The circumstances under which they meet are anyone's guess, more fodder for fanfic writers. Heather might need another favor from that smart girl, or Daria might need a favor from her. In any event, Heather has rarely been seen in fanfic to this point, though she does appear in TLAS.

As a side note, the trip to Middleton was the first time the issue of college was addressed in the series. It returns in "Prize Fighters" and (of course) Is It College Yet? but also shows up in subtler ways. The lyrics to "College Try," Splendora's theme music for IICY?, are written from Daria's viewpoint and reveal a Daria very similar to the one in high school, and in a similar state of self-isolation and stress ("Guess I'm majoring in angst," the lyrics go). And there's the "interview" conducted with Daria on the CBS Early Show in 2002, in which she was asked, "Once you're in college, do you think that you'll find the happiness that has eluded you for, really, all your life?" Daria frowned and replied, "Why do people assume I'm unhappy just because I mope around all the time, saying snide things in a deadpan voice? I find that very judgmental. But in answer to your question: God, I hope so." It is telling that in IICY?, even Quinn has a more optimistic view of college than does Daria, and she tries to cheer up her sister about her college future, saying "You're gonna have friends and everything. I know it sounds hard to believe."

If only there had been another show with Daria at Raft . . . alas.