Something for the Treehuggers

Lest we forget (which I did), the last Friday of every April is Arbor Day in the U.S., which means it would be nice if you planted a tree today, or at least avoiding cutting down a nice looking one.

Here is Arbor Day (better picture than usual) from "Depth Takes a Holiday." Poor treehugger kid, picked on by everyone who doesn't love trees. Looks sad. Bummer.

The creative Ms. Kinnikufan has created another Iron Chef for the writers among us: Daria in the Supreme Court. What cases would she oversee? What would her life as a justice be like? Will Jane spill the beans about Daria's unpaid traffic tickets?

List of new fanfics coming shortly, need to take care of stuff. And speaking of trees, enjoy The Oaks!

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• Beta Testing, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "A precognitive computer?" Archangel asked. "Yes and no. It doesn't predict the future, it records it." "This is going to be one of those explanations that makes my head hurt, isn't it?" (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Daria: Hunter 5—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "Nothing but blood," Burnout said as they stepped back out into the hallway. "Maybe, maybe not," said Daria. "We won't know unless we look, and it's better than wandering around aimlessly. Don't worry... tracking people down is our business. We'll find them."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “There’s a lot of things I could say about Finn,” said Jane. “It’s awkward enough,” Daria cut her friend off. “But I’m sure he’s flattered.” “I know I gotta talk to him, but... I just know I’m gonna hate it.” “Well, he’s busy anyway.” “Busy?” Jane asked. “He said he was going to lunch with Sierra, and then to some party.” “And he didn’t invite me?” Jane’s eyebrows cocked.
• Omnia Mutantur, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Why madam, it is truly my pleasure to welcome such a vision of loveliness to the very humble halls of Lawndale High.” It took Daria a few seconds before she realized that it had been addressed at her. Looking up, she saw a boy with orange/red hair and freckles giving her a wide smile. “Uh, thanks. My name’s Daria. Daria Morgendorffer” Daria replied, cursing her sudden lack of eloquence. She wasn’t expecting this, he had caught her off guard, everything was happening so fast. “Charles Ruttheimer the Third, at your service” the boy said, making a deep bow.
• Parents Are People, by Legendeld (Part 2): Quinn didn't need her to explain the statement, she only nodded. She was afraid the sound of her own voice agreeing would unleash tears. So this is the whole growing up thing Daria is always talking about. It sucks royally.
• NEW! Weighted Clothes, by Yogi (Part 1): Too small Pink T-shirt? Check. Fashionable Jeans? Check. Makeup? Check. Complete and utter destruction of her pride and self respect? Well, hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. “OK, “ Daria thought, going through the plan in her mind one more time. “3-Js come, dad calls out that my dates are here, though he’ll probably think they’re Quinn’s. Quinn exits room to see what is up, runs into me, mission accomplished. No one but Quinn will ever see, and my dignity will remain intact.” “Quinn! Your dates are here!”
  

Jake in the Winner's Circle

Today marks the annual running of The Oaks at Churchill Downs, the big race between fillies just one day before the Kentucky Derby. And, of course, Helen Morgendorffer is the filly to beat! (That was not meant to be a joke about the riding crop Jake is holding. But maybe it is.) Whew, is it getting hot in here, or is that picture smokin'?

Tonight, however, is Walpurgis Night, Europe's version of Halloween. Hence we use the Three Js as the witches from Macbeth. (Yet another Shakespeare reference!)

Thanks to Pinhead for the big images. Stay tooned, more to come later.

LATE NOTE: Just because I want to, here is a small tribute to the best horse ever born. I loved this guy. Enjoy.

Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Today is World Dance Day (also International Dance Day, Dance Day, etc.). It's another of those UNESCO-type holidays when our International Overlords force us to do things for cultural diversity, like eating healthy foods and appreciating badgers. Today you must dance. I have a note from my doctor saying I'm excused, but you have no excuse. Get goin', shake a leg.

By the way, the Landons at right are doing their dancing bit as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Hope someone here remembers who those two were. They appear to be doing that famous "Dancing Cheek to Cheek" bit from the 1935 movie Top Hat.

OUTPOST DARIA has updated again! Yay!

The Great and Powerful Kara Wild reports on her DVD Daria set: contents, cool stuff, and everything! DVDaria has updated! See also this PPMB thread about the set.

Superfan CR85747 informs me that MTV2 will air Daria starting on Monday, May 10, 5-6 AM EDT/PST, and Tuesday, May 11, 1:30-2:30 AM EDT/PST. Be there!

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• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Once you slice open a bag of potato chips, there's no going back." —Stacy Rowe [NEW! Extra chapter here! "Emergency meeting in the Director's conference room! Round up your staff and be there in 10 minutes, before they close the security doors! And use Quiet Passage Protocol!"]
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Jane had been getting increasingly distant lately, and it was getting more and more difficult to enjoy spending time with her. And, oddly enough, it wasn’t as if they weren’t doing anything different. They hung out, Finn watched her paint. Sometimes they went to a movie, exchanged bodily fluids, and all the normal teenage stuff. Nothing about their relationship was different. Except Jane, Finn thought to himself.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 8): "I'm a little miffed at seeing versions of myself in relationships with what look like good guys," said Daria. "I'm pushing thirty and haven't even had a good date in the last two years." Archangel said, "I could set you up with Pam Anderson in a heartbeat." [Yowsa! See the alter ego at left for Daria as Pamela Anderson on Baywatch!]
• NEW! Transgender Bender, by Minx (Parts 1 and 2): Hmm, so Quinn isn’t little miss perfect after all. This fugly chick is her sister. Sandi smirked. He had found Quinn’s Achilles’ heel. [Originally posted here.]

WE WON! THE DVDs ARE OUT!!!

WE WON!!!

April Showers Bring The Flowers

Two thousand years ago, give or take a few, today was part of Floralia, a Roman celebration of the goddess Flora (who looked over flowers and plants, of course). Floralia actually began yesterday, but Wikipedia had the wrong day down. Can you imagine that? Anyway, Floralia was quite popular with the Romans for reasons I can't go into here, so perhaps you should click on one of the previous links to find out why, if you are not at work. (Nothing obscene, just... naughty.)

This is also Workers Memorial Day in the U.S. and Canada, to commemorate those who died while performing their jobs. They live on in our thoughts and prayers.

ALERT #1! The Daria DVDs ARE OUT!!!

ALERT #2! UK orders for the Daria DVDs are being filled and mailed!

ALERT #3! Special message from Glenn Eichler!!!

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• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 23): "Your head is just a bit large, not freakishly so," said Dr. Sloane. "Stop. You'll put me all a-flutter with your honeyed words," Daria replied, in a flat, deadly monotone.
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 26): "Wx xrx hxrx txdx tx hxnxr xxxsx at Fxxldxnx whxx xxll xxxry xxr xxnxxxrx xntx txx xxxmy txxxtxrx xf Gxxxvx Hxx. Txx xxxxx mxx xf xxr xxxlxvxx Fxxldxnx Blxx xxxx. Thxsx xxx xx rxxdx tx dxpaxx xnd txxx txx bxxr xx xxx xxgx, xx xt wxxx. Nx onx cxn sxy thxx thxxx yxxxg mxn, xxx xxnxxt xxf xxx Fxxldxnx xxxlxtxc txxdxxxx, xxx nxt prxpxxxx, nxt cxxxxxxx, xxx nxt cxpxblx xxx xxx xxxk xx dxlxvxxxx gxxdxrxx xxxtxry."
• NEW! Mrs. Sloane, by Liz Ruiz (Part 1): "Tommy," Mrs. Sloane addressed her husband, making a point of ignoring the other man. "That shade of green is isn't really what you should wear today. I thought we had agreed on the dark blue suit." Daniel saw the candidate stop in mid-bite. He would've sworn that the senator was turning a slight shade of green himself. Very few things fazed Thomas Sloane.
  
• NEW! Parents Are People, by Legendeld (Part 1): “So you and Dad are really going to get married?” Quinn said softly. Amy held up her hand to show the engagement ring. “Yes, I hope you both are ok with this but I understand if you aren’t. All I ask is that you give us a chance.”
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Oh my god!” Jake exclaimed “Daria's gay, too?!?” “WHAT?” Daria yelled. “What do you mean 'TOO'?” Quinn cried.

Not Daria, but close!

I was checking DirecTV's on-screen guide about an hour ago and look what I found. I had to check MTV's website as well.


Beavis & Butthead are back on MTV Argentina Tuesday nights (or early hours of Wednesday) at 1:00 and 1:30 am. Could Daria be next?

Come on MTV, we know you can do better than Paris Hilton My New BFF!

Too Graphic, or Not Graphic Enough?

Today is World Graphics Day, per Jane Lane. Celebrate as you see fit. This is also the 200th anniversary of the day Beethoven wrote "Für Elise," and it is Freedom Day in South Africa in honor of the 1994 elections there. It is also the feast day of St. Zita, who is among other things the patron saint of lost keys (such as the ones for your car that you've been looking for). She must be a popular kid at Holiday Island High, for obvious reasons.

Ms. Kinnikufan, legendary creator of Iron Chefs, has a new one out: Tom/Brittany. Yes, let's see you try to make that one work!

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• NEW! A Document, by Silver (COMPLETE!): Eight months since her sister's death. Eight months since the police had found the four dead. Eight months since they'd put the girls in the cold earth on a rainy day. Eight long months.
  
• Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 5): "On that note, a word from our sponsor." Daria turned and handed a card to Jane. "Screw it, I'm not doing this one. Your turn." As Daria walked away, Jane read from the card. "This segment was brought to you by Eau de Angst, makers of fine perfumery, such as... um... uh... Penguin Amore..." Jane's face twisted in shock. "That's just... that just made little Janey's head hurt. Bad. Real bad. Ouch."
• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Ever since school ended, Jane's mind was drawn to the future, a future that lay in conflict with her present. Jane would be leaving for Boston, and that meant leaving Lawndale behind. There was a lot she didn’t mind leaving: Lawndale High, for starters. But going to Boston meant going away from Finn. And that depressed her. Jane hadn’t had many boyfriends, but Finn was easily head and shoulders above the pack, in more ways than one. And she knew that, at one point, she and Finn would have to talk about where their relationship was headed. Did they want to do a long-distance thing? Or was Jane merely looking at the end and trying hard to deny it?

Starting the Week Off Right

A.E. van Vogt, a writer best known during the Golden Age of SF, was born this day 98 years ago. His work is commemorated in a current Daria fanfic by Gwrtheyrn, "General Semantics, Private Angst," based on van Vogt's null-A universe. Yee-haaaw!

Today is also Old Permic Alphabet Day (look it up, I won't explain it), Richter Scale Day (if you love earthquakes, which no one does), and World Intellectual Property Day, which I probably shouldn't mention for obvious reasons having to do with the subject of this blog. Nonetheless, it is a legal thing and Helen Morgendorffer likes legal things, so here it is. And I am proud to say that Daria has to be one of the best intellectual properties in existence, in my own humble opinion. Yay!

If you took a photo of Jane Lane, would she look like this? See also these two threads on real-life Jane Lanes, still in progress!

BRAKING GNUZ! DariaonDVD.com is now open through MTV! (Only for USA, sadly, but still...) Get your free T-shirt while supplies last! As it happens, though, I have too many T-shirts and have already ordered through bn.com, so... oh well!

ALSO! Ticknart has a special message to all fanfiction fans in Comments, below. Help the contest out!

ALSO! I was reliably informed that today is the first BoobQuake Day. This is only peripherally related to Daria, but, hey, it's for science.

The Artist as Art

Hey. Not much happening today. Some good fanfic just came out, though. Here 'tis. Plus, Jane Lane as abstract art, from the Daria's Inferno computer game. Enjoy.

BRAKING GNUZ! C.E. Forman (yes! that one!) wants to PARTY!!! Go to this link and check it out!

FF.net

• NEW! The Fate of the Duels, by a440 (prologue and Part 1): Translated from the Spanish as "the meadows," that name was somewhat of a misnomer as there was almost hardly any green, save for the gardens, house yards in the burbs, and golf courses here and there. But here in Sin City, as it was called, that hardly mattered because the only green to found there was money. And money was what most people came here to gamble for.
• NEW! The Pole, by Quinnley1 (COMPLETE!): [story contains adult themes] One day, I found myself in desperate need for a large amount of money or else I would have to choose between paying for my textbooks and eating. It was the first and only time I had really mishandled my money, and for a Trent-related incident no less. I decided that the side waitressing job wasn't enough, so I asked the manager to let me dance for one night. With my need to justify everything, I even managed to convince myself that stripping would be a great thesis study for my Study of Modern Society class.

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• Finn Morgendorffer 43: A Tale of Three Schrecters, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Do you mind telling me what your hand was doing on that part of my son’s body?” Helen asked. Her voice was level and very calm.
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 25): Sometimes I wish I could be like Quinn, Daria thought. When it comes to academics, she just doesn't give a damn.
• NEW! Exercise Time for Scarlett the Fairy, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): Scarlett the Fairy looked at the pistol aimed at her face, her expression calm and collected. Yes, she was facing the business end of a .44-Magnum Ruger Super Blackhawk, and yes, one bullet would be enough to blow her to bits and ruin her day. But she wasn't worried.
• NEW! A Visit to the Church, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): It was the depression of a Sarah Palin landslide victory that caused Daria to go on a three-day bender. She was finally lucid on Saturday, November 10, and sat up in the bed. O.K., she thought. Where am I and how did I get here? “I see that you’re awake,” the man said.
  

Happy 20th Birthday, Hubble Space Telescope

The Hubble Space Telescope was launched twenty years ago today on board the shuttle Discovery.

Like Daria, the HST had bad eyesight due to an error in grinding the main mirror. So, in December of 1993 NASA sent the shuttle Endeavour to install a set of corrective lenses, COSTAR and WFPC2.

What we have seen since has simply been wonderous.

And a nod to Bad Astronomer, Phil Plait, and "Ten Things You Didn't Know About Hubble".

Horsing Around

Today is supposed to be (according to some historians and ancient sources) the 3,194th anniversary of the day the Trojan horse entered Troy, and Troy fell. (Daria mentions the horse in "The Big House"). Interesting, this occurs just before the Kentucky Derby. Oh! And I have the perfect picture for that event, coming later!

But today is also someone's birthday. Who? You guessed it! It's Willem de Kooning's birthday! He would have been 106. You probably remember his photo under Jane's bed in The Daria Diaries. That Jane even knows who this guy is was one of the reasons I believe her IQ was in the same ballpark as Daria's, even if she wasn't any good at math. (See here for details.)

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• Correction, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were sitting outside of the pearly gates, waiting for their meeting with St. Peter. The two twenty-year-olds had never met on the Earthly realm. Neither of them had ever left their hometowns. Daria stared down at her sandals. Jane turned to look at her. "So, why are you here?" Jane asked brushing her raven hair away from her cobalt eyes. (FF.net) (OD)
  
• Hand in the Band, by Peapotmaster (Part 1): We see the Daria opening, but instead of the Splendora theme, we hear “Sugar, Sugar” from the Archies. We cut to Daria smirking with the usual logo but with Daria wearing Jughead’s beanie. ACT ONE: “Hell Comes to Lawndale"

Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On

William Shakespeare, a writer without peer in the English language even now, passed away 394 years ago today, after being born almost exactly 446 years ago today. Drama, comedy, history, tragedy, poetry: he did it all. Mack at right does his superb portrayal of this legendary figure.

Several Daria episodes owe a great debt to the Bard for their very existence. "Cafe Disaffecto," "Lucky Strike," "The Lost Girls," "Ill," and "Quinn the Brain" all mention or describe the works of Shakespeare. Brittany at upper left reenacts the role of Juliet in "Cafe Disaffecto." Last year Richard Lobinske listed a number of Daria fanfics that owe a debt to the Bard as well for using quotes or his works in the text. There are more, however, too many to name individually (including essays), so we'll do it by numbers: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40. I am positive I have not named them all. (LATE EDIT: I've just been reminded that I left out some major stories, and I have now added them in. I am positive there are many more out there. AUGH!!) William Shakespeare is, I believe, the most often referenced writer in all of Daria fanfiction. Having a bit of Shakespeare in your Daria story is almost a requirement.

William Shakespeare. He was The Man.

And today is also the Feast Day of St. George, famed dragon slayer and patron saint of much of Europe, particularly England. If you happen to be in London right now, I would be green and sick with envy over it, but here is a webpage on great events happening around you today. Damn, wish I could be there!

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• NEW! The Cast Meeting, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "We are going to shake your character's world upside down. Lesbians are BIG right now, so we have decided that Quinn should come out of the closet." "WHAT! Gawd! What did I do? Why can't Daria be gay? I mean, she is dating Brittany off the set—or even Jane, or would that piss Kevin off too much?"
  
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "You're not going to tell me we're up against someone whose name cannot be spoken aloud without dire consequences?" "No, Jane. We're up against someone whose name can't be spoken because no one knows what it is."
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 43: A Tale of Three Schrecters, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 6): "Did something happen here?"
• NEW! The Secret Shame, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "I didn't mean to do it!" Upchuck grabbed Mack's T-shirt and with inhuman strength lifted Mack off his feet. Upchuck's face was contorted with anguish and fear. "I didn't mean to do it! Oh, God, you have to believe me! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"
• NEWER! Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 7): Archangel laughed. "She's got the touch in any universe." Daria turned to him. "Okay, now that's one of the things that's creeping me out. You keep talking like I'm the center of the universe or something." Richard turned a display of his desk computer to show the hypersphere of universes under his supervision. "You are what we call a nexus. Basically the center of a multiverse. You exist in every one of these realities."
  

Tom Kant. Kan You?

Eleven years ago today in Fanfic-land, Daria Morgendorffer won a college scholarship and became very depressed as a result. Why? Check out the answer here.

What book put Tom Sloane to sleep at Daria's house, in "My Night at Daria's"? It was Immanuel Kant's Critique of Pure Reason (slightly misspelled in the episode as Critique of Pure Reasoning). Kant, who actually could, was born this day 286 years ago.

In theory, this is also National Jelly Bean Day, but no one knows why. Only one Daria fanfic to my knowledge even mentions jelly beans, and it was written twelve years ago by Invisigoth Gypsy.

NEWS FLASH! This just in: HolyGrail2007 reliably informs us that "Finn Morgendorffer 39: That S-E-X Word" also contains a reference to jelly beans, making it the only Daria fanfic in the past twelve years, other than Invisigoth Gypsy's "Appearances Can Be Deceiving," to include that snack food. We will remain on the air as long as we can to report further developments. Stay tooned.

Time again for fanfic. Oh! Almost forgot! Today is EARTH DAY!

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• Finn Morgendorffer 43: A Tale of Three Schrecters, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “You don’t need to ask.” Elizabeth remarked. “Your mother doesn’t even need to know. She won’t call, she’ll be in court. You’ll get home before she will. I’ll make sure of that.” Elizabeth remarked as she put her arm around Finn’s shoulder.
• NEW! Gender Bender, by Minx (COMPLETE!): “Just because you spell your name with an ‘i’ instead of a ‘y’ and you dress in girls clothes doesn’t make you female,” Sam said as he sidestepped Sandi’s attack. “Just get out of here you little brat!” Sandi screamed, his voice wavered and came dangerously close to cracking.
  
• The Heather/Damsel Chronicles 1:13: Monkey See, Monkey Do, by NightGoblyn (preview): Daria looked up from her second cup of Irish coffee when the kitchen door swung open, her daughter striding confidently into the room and over to the 'fridge. The steady thumping of the girl's boots across the hardwood floor was the only sound in the room at first, but it was then followed by the gentle clinks and clanks of things being shifted around and examined for their potential use as breakfast.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Pact With The Devil), by NoName999 (COMPLETE!): Daria awoke to find herself in Hell. Apparently she had forgotten that pride was one of the deadly sins. And she learned that the hard way. "If I had known that the third time's the charm, I would have never crossed the street during rush hour just to throttle Jane," she said. "If only I were Moses."

Hi, There, Back from a Day Off

I took a day off yesterday. Should have mentioned that when it happened. Back again!

Today is the 2,762nd birthday of the city of Rome, and I don't have a single image to celebrate it. Not one! However, I do have a picture of Brittany dressed as Queen Elizabeth II, whose birthday it also is (she's 84). AND this is the third birthday of "Stacy Rowe, Seeker," by jtranser, introduced on PPMB. Hooray!

Daria episodes from seasons 1-3 are now available on iTunes! More news here.

Write/artist Vlora recently spent a day as Daria. The result was amazing.

Echopapa's new Iron Chef: Pact With The Devil. "The challenge: write a ficlet wherein a Lawndalian makes a deal with Old Scratch for personal gain, or to extricate themselves or others from some kind of jam. Extra points for beating the Devil. Double extra points for thinking that they have beaten the Devil."

A rather naughty (possibly NSFW but not terrible) view of Quinn, by InnocentTazlet, has appeared in The Easel on PPMB. No link here, just go there and find it.

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• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): “Dean, Quinn stop fighting. We are all going on a tour of the college, and that is final! There will be no sarcastic remarks—” she pointed to Dean “—and no wandering off to find the cool kids—” she said to Quinn. “And no inappropriate reminiscent stories of any kind,” she said finally to Jake.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Yes, dreams lead lives of their own. Consider the Twilight Dream, which occurs just before sleep and just before awakening; they favor those very brief seconds of changing light levels in the mind and choose then to emerge and inspect their own realms, to feed on dreamers as they drift in and out of slumber, and to mark their territories."
• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 4): "Back home in Lawndale, things did get a little weird when I got caught up in the unraveling of the full story behind Ms. Li's scheme with Lenard Lamm and Linda Griffin to promote Ultra Cola. And the big surprise was the help from Sandi Griffin."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 43: A Tale of Three Schrecters, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 and 3 and 4!): “Am I getting paid for this?” “Technically, no. However, you will get an increase in your allowance. A sort of wage.” “A trick to avoid minimum wage laws?” “Finn, I can quote laws you would never have even heard of.”
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012 (Part 5): Daria glared at Evie. “Be quiet. Take notes. Pass the damn class,” she said sharply. “It’s simple and it would be one less fight between you and mom.” Evie scowled. “I hate you,” she muttered, peeved, taking out a notebook and pen. “The feeling’s mutual,” Daria grumbled. The twins glared at each other.
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 22): "Doctor, I'm tired, too. But we can't waste time. We need some kind of a plan, or Mars and Earth are toast, and that's the end of the null-A way of life."
  
• Girl in a Jar, by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): Jane Lane, BFAC graduate of 2217 and artist for hire, shivered as her body adjusted to the lower temperature of the preservationist lab. Or at least that was what she was hoping the reaction was. Her latest job was sending her into the governmental storage facility were some of the most dangerous technology of the Gene Revolution was kept. Some of that stuff could destroy the world, but most of it had been kept ice for more than a century. If anything was going to escape it certainly wasn’t waiting for her presence to do so . . . . She hoped.
• A Hell of a Sister, by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): In the comfort and safety of their home, Daria didn’t waste the effort in disguising what she was. Truthfully, the tiny red horns were just barely visible through Daria’s hair. Thankfully, Daria thought the effort required to manifest her traditional tail and wings was rarely worth it.
• MOST NEWEREST!!! Invader Dar, by Wraith (continued): Six months later, Dar was wondering if shooting QIN out of the Voot cruiser and into a passing sun would help. Unfortunately, that plan had a drawback. Namely, having to make calculations, or in other words, work. Not that the calculations would have been too difficult, except that SIR units were quite capable of maneuvering in a vacuum. "Are you ever going to stop singing?" QIN ignored this, still singing, "Cute, cute cute, cute, cute."
  
• NEWER!! A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (continued): It took Daria awhile to finally work up the nerve to look at Kevin's paper. She saw he'd finally given it a title, and his choice, “The Playbook for Great Expectations,” nearly made her give up then and there. But a promise was a promise, even if it was made to Kevin Thompson, so she gritted her teeth and got started.
  
• NEW! Souled Out! by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "All right," said Thom Beelzebub. "I usually don't say this, but that really wasn't something to sell your soul over. I think you made a mistake."
  
• Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): “So, found another princess I see,” Trent Lane said as Daria Morgendorffer left the Lane residence. Jane shot her brother a look. “We’ve discussed this before, Trent. I am not looking for a princess. And besides, Daria would be highly insulted if you called her that.”
• NEW! Wild Powers, Wilder Cynics, by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): Daria sighed and looked over at her mother. “Wild Magic always requires a price right? Effort in return for the ability to make a change.”
  

The Windmills of Her Mind

Dutch-American Friendship Day gives me the excuse to use the alter ego at right, with its boobular (if entirely too small for Brittany) overtones. Yo, Dutch fans of Daria, what up? (The title for this post comes from an old song I remember. It reappears in this fanfic.)

Jayne Mansfield was born 77 years ago today. Quinn did her alter ego.

The Simpsons began this day 23 years ago as a sideline to the Tracey Ullman Show. Did you know Daria is jealous of Lisa Simpson? Read all about it here. It's official! And what would Daria have looked like had it been animated like The Simpsons? Fan artist John Berry allowed us a peek into this strange alternate universe with his artwork (scroll down a bit, you'll find it).

Stay tooned, as always. More on the way.

Brainy Quinn's Breakthrough Day

Eleven years ago today, Kara Wild completed the first story in her grand epic, the Driven Wild Universe. That first tale was "Rose-Colored Lenses," in which Quinn Morgendorffer is forced to get corrective glasses (see "new" Quinn at right) and sets off a magnificent trope-busting saga. Congratulations to Kara, and thank you!

In a delayed April Fools prank, the BBC announced 80 years ago today in the evening that there was "no news" to report. Imagine hearing that!

Actor and poker player James Woods, said to bear an amazing resemblance to Lawndale lawyer Jim Vitale (per Scissors MacGillicutty), turns 63 today. Best not to confuse Mr. Vitale with James Woods as he appears on Family Guy, which also features a high school named for Mr. Woods.

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• Daria Race War, by Bliss Ticks (continued): The clock struck midnight, and yesterday marked the last day of exile for Jane Lane. Tomorrow morning she would meet Daria in front of her house, and together they would walk into that hellhole, Lawndale High.
  
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "This is where something jumps out of nowhere, screams 'Booga Booga!!' and scares the shit out of me." Daria's nervous attempt at humor met with silence, then a very faint reedy voice coming from under the stairs said: "No. That comes later."
• DVDaria, by Admonisher (COMPLETE!): [Originally posted 3/31/01 on FF.net, this classic now appears only on PPMB. Enjoy!]
• Finn Morgendorffer 43: A Tale of Three Schrecters, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Good morning, Finn,” Helen spoke warmly to him. “What a lovely day.” “I don’t plan on wasting it,” Finn returned. “I’ve already made plans.” “That’s wonderful, Finn. Have a lovely time, Finn. But, speaking of plans, have you thought of what you’re going to do with your summer?”
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 24a): "When was the last time I was in Maynard Hall?" Tom asked himself. "Yeah, I remember. Fifth grade music. I remember a song that went 'solar plexus meow meow meow'. That's the sum total of my learning." "What did you learn?" Daria asked. "That I couldn't sing," Tom said. "Oh, Thomas!" cried Elsie. "I've been telling you that for years." (NEW! Part 24b: "So, Quinn?" said Pat Seven. "Do you want to see our little wooden boat?")
  
• Library Phoenix, by SigDiff (continued): Jane stayed up halfway through the night listening to Daria talk about her plans. To her, it sounded like complete fantasy. Flying machines that could outrun their own sound, other machines that could do math by themselves. Light with no flame, powered by the wind and the sun and something called the atom, which apparently the ocean had plenty of. Devices that allowed one to talk to another miles and miles away as if they were just a few feet away. Jane didn't believe a bit of it. At least, she didn't believe it until the demonstration.
• NEW! Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 6): BEGIN EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION: Central Database security has been compromised. Intruder identity is currently unknown. Extent of breach is currently unknown. Breach has been identified as the personal computer issued to former field agent Ian Llwyd. Unrecovered computers from his team are considered suspected alternate breach sites. Containment protocols have been initiated. Access of data to field units may be restricted until full security is restored. You are instructed to use your current assignment to investigate this breach and provide any assistance in identifying the perpetrator.
  
• Springtime for Self-Esteem, by Ajar (Part 1): “It's always a pleasure,” said Ms. Li as she ushered a woman out of her office. “Well, the Mental Health Society always appreciates any principal that takes initiatives to help those dealing with mental health issues. Although I really was hoping to meet some of the support group.” “I wouldn't want to take them out of class, or expose you to their reformist delusions.”

A Day for Great Books

Two great and long-lived works of literature are connected with this day. Today is the day that Odysseus supposedly arrives home in Ithaca after the Trojan War, 3,188 years ago, as calculated by an astronomer a few years ago. Homer recorded the story in The Odyssey. Daria at left holds another work in which Odysseus was mentioned, Homer's Iliad (as seen in "The Big House").

This is also the day, 623 years ago, when Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales supposedly takes place, going by time-related clues left in the manuscript. (An editor figured it out.) Jeffy at right holds a copy of The Canterbury Tales as he tries (and fails) to enact the part of Palamon (as seen in "Fair Enough").

Daria would celebrate the day by reading. Perhaps imitation of her would be wise.

Call Me a Tramp, Will They?

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, famed English movie actor, director, musician, and political activist, was born today 121 years ago. Mr. O'Neill does a passable impersonation of "The Tramp" at right, especially in black and white like most of Chaplin's early movies. A depiction of Jane Lane as The Tramp (ouch!) appears in the Daria's Inferno computer game (left).

This is also Emancipation Day for everyone living in Washington, D.C. Party hearty!

In The Daria Diaries, the review of Mystic Spiral in "Muck and Rage" appeared on this day, but we're not sure which year.

In my list of unfinished stories a few posts ago, I forgot one extra-good one from long ago...

• A Sarcastic Beginning, by Thea Zara: OMG, what I wouldn't give to know happened next!

And now for the fanfiction...

PPMB

• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Damn! Jane, what did you do to yourself? Your mouth, your eyes, your whole face....hell, your whole body! You - you look glossy! You look like you've been photoshopped!"
• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 3): Karen walked across the main Quad and said, "From time to time, we managed to have a little bit drama around here, like the first time Michael asked Daria to marry him. Nice thought, lousy timing."
  
• NEW! A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 5): "Well, class, we have a special guest today," O'Neill chuckled in a way that would strip paint off walls. He looked expectantly at Daria, who was sitting in the front right corner of the room. She was busy playing with a pencil when she looked up, smiling very vaguely at the class.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): ”I’m not done. Finn, She might be bad at times, but she’s not always. And you, of all people know this. You and Daria may have had your moments, and I’m sure it was intense. But you know, she’s helped you, too. A lot. More than you’ll admit to me.”
• MOST NEWEREST!!! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 8): How Vincent and Amanda could leave their children for weeks on end seemingly on a whim at times was beyond him, especially leaving them in the care of Summer, whom Jake would not have entrusted with a goldfish.
  
• NEWEREST! A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (continued): Daria hurried to the library. She was bundled up against the cold Indiana January, with heavy coat, scarf, hat, and gloves, but still the cold wind cut right through her. Classes had begun only a few days ago, but between her work and helping Kevin, she felt like she'd already fallen behind. On this chilly Friday, the library offered a needed haven, both from the cold and the chaos. Kevin was on his last round of revisions, thanks to a heroic effort on both their parts, which meant she had a day or two to herself to catch up. She yanked the door open, struggling against the wind, and all but leaped inside.
  
• Some unnamed concept that I will name later, by SigDiff (continued): “We want to make the world like it was before,” Daria continued, “only better. It has to be better, or else we'll all end up right back here, in a destroyed civilization where people barely survive off the land and children grow up without even learning to speak.”

Daria returns to MTV... 2

It was just noted on PPMB that MTV2 will soon air Daria again. Check around for more information and post it in Comments if you find it.

Also, it appears that an interview with Daria's voice, Tracy Grandstaff, is now up at Daria World on Facebook. Check it out.

And... OverlordMikey is thinking about a Daria RPG, or something similar. Hmmm. Have a look.

Happy Birthday, Quinn! (Now you know where your tax dollars just went.)

Richard Lobinske's Falling Into College series places today as Quinn's 27th or so birthday today, a secret revealed in "A Daze at the Races."

This is also National Tax Day in the United States and its territories. Either way, Quinn or the government, someone's going to get all your money.

Today being the 558th birthday of the Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci, we again post the famous alter ego of Jodie Landon as da Vinci's "The Vitruvian Man." Clicking on the last link here shows the original drawing from which this picture is taken, and explains what the drawing really means. It's more complicated than I'd thought.

More tomorrow, tired now. Zzzzz....

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “What happened? You seemed burned out at work.” “It... it was nothing. Nazi Michael found my screwdriver and now I got fired. Fun.” “Lindy, you were drinking on the job?” “You should know, you’re the one who told him I was.” (NEW! Part 6 here!)
  
• I Just Don’t Get You, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Quinn hesitated, and then blurted, “I don’t get you.” Jane, thrown by this statement, could only manage a confused, “Oh?” “Are you mad?” asked Quinn. “NO!” said Jane, perhaps too quickly, before adding, “I mean, no, of course not.” “Good,” replied Quinn, “because I want to like you, but I just don’t get where you’re coming from.” (Daria/MST3K)
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 9): Quinn leaned forward and peered through the tiny crack in the door. She could see the two men standing on the front porch facing each other; she could just make out their conversation. “There’s no one here, just bags by the look of it. I think—” Walker’s voice was cut off by the sounds of shouted male voices and a volley of gunfire. “They’re down the road. They must have jumped the fences!”
  
• NEW! Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 8): The usual variety of knickknacks were strewn across the drawers; a jewelery box, old photos, a large ornate lamp. They could have been in any house in America. Jane opened the jewelery box and picked up a golden earring, as she did so a chill ran up her spine and she quickly dropped it and shut the lid. Jane was thankful when she heard the water stop, as the door opened she quickly ran in and shut the door.
• NEW! Some unnamed concept that I will name later, by SigDiff (Part 1): Jane shrugged. “I've never been in the city before. Got sick of seeing nothing but the green world, so I came here.” “And a strong sense of curiosity, even at this age. Usually the world beats it out of them by now.” Jane was clearly being judged, much to her displeasure. “Quinn,” the figure continued, “I think we could really use her.” Although she'd never heard it before, Jane didn't like the idea of being used. “I thought you'd say that,” Quinn commented. “I'm okay with it.”
  
• Springtime for Scarlett the Fairy, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): You do not ever want to hear a fairy after she has pricked her finger on a needle. Talk about coloring the air blue. That brings up a question I’ve always had, and you should be curious about it, as well. What color is a choking Smurf?
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "I thought this was a horrible nightmare. But it was wrong. It's a horrible nightmare that I can't wake up from. You and your god-damned Jell-O shots." "Shut up. You were right in there with me."

Of Human Lab Brats Bonding

"The Lab Brat" (left) turns 13 today, and "Of Human Bonding" (right) turns 10. Happy Episode Birthday to you both!

Quinn Morgendorffer's favorite real-world TV star turns 43 today. Can you guess who it is? The answer lies here.

The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was copyrighted 182 years ago today. Odd, it still doesn't look like anyone's using it to check the stuff they write on the Internet.

The Human Genome Project was completed seven years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com. What kind of kids would Daria have if she could "geneer" (genetically engineer) them?

Enough of this. Instead of talking about new fanfiction, let's do something completely different.

UNFINISHED FANFICS I HAVE LOVED (ver. 3.0)

A couple years ago I began a semi-regular series in this column to rave about my favorite unfinished stories. This fandom regularly produces astounding fiction and artwork, considering its small size. Many of the unfinished stories are as exciting to read as the complete ones. Unfinished tales have considerable influence over later fiction, too—super-cool ideas brought up by one author might find new authors to bring them off.

Some of the following Works in Progress appear to be at least a third to half completed. A good number are what I call “First & Last Chapters,” because they end right after Chapter One. A few might lack only one chapter more. So much potential, so many places they could go!

Here’s my current faves list. Sit back and enjoy. Oh—stories previously covered in this column will not be mentioned here (not yet, anyway). We’ll get back to them later. For now, let’s explore new titles. You have some ideas on unfinished fanfics that YOU have loved? Tell me (and everyone else) about them in Comments.

SCIENCE FICTION, MYSTERY, AND HIGH ADVENTURE

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker (Lawndale Lurker) (SFMB): The classic school bus trip from Hell, way over the top and worth the ride. LL moved the story well along from where LS left it, but more is called for. Where are Daria and the gang now? Will they survive the wilderness, or will only a few make it home? And what of the volcanoes? Comedy, adventure, thrills—this packs them all. I gotta know how this ends!
• The Best and Brightest, by Smijey (Smileyfax): Daria stumbles upon a little secret involving Lawndale—or is it a big and dangerous secret? What does Jane know? Where is this going?
• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic (Daria/The Dresden Files), by LSauchelli: LSauchelli’s modern-magic crossovers with The Dresden Files were exciting indeed. Much deadlier than the Harry Potter stuff, a real mind-blower at times. Any hope of seeing this tale continued, if not adding more tales to the story series?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North: I have few worries that this story will be soon finished. This SF series is a grabber and a keeper. Keep ‘em comin’!
• Daria’s Web (Daria/Spider-Man), by Fezenclop (Ranger Thorne) (part 2 on SFMB) (part 3 on SFMB) (part 4 on SFMB) (part 5 on SFMB) (part 6 on SFMB) (part 7 on SFMB) (part 8 on SFMB) (OD): Daria is Spider-Girl. Terrific story with fast-moving action. MOAR!!!
• Downbelow, by Smileyfax (FF.net): Jane Lane is no longer in Lawndale. She’s lurking under it. And she wants Daria to join her. Can’t lose with this one.
• End over End, by Shull Bitter: Jane dies. Wait, she’s alive—but maybe not for long. A nail-biter just getting underway.
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn: First-person Jane tale of a devastated Earth with many familiar faces. This is gold SF. Moar, plz.
• Into the Fray, by Minx (FF.net): Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Mystic Spiral are on a road trip that’s interrupted by a war—the Second American Civil War. A real shocker, lots of excitement (and doubtless angst!) ahead, great writing by a great new talent.
• The House on Space-Time Lane (Daria/Doctor Who), by Lawndale Stalker (part 2 on PPMB) (part 2 on SFMB) (OD) (1111 Space Time Lane, early version): I can’t tell if this one is finished or what. I adore it. LS, where the heck are you?
• Lawndale’s Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North: A superb action/superhero series that should never ever end. Jim’s contribution is up to the grand style we’ve come to expect. And the characters fit the DC Universe perfectly!
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax: Sandi Griffin has several times been linked to vampirism, and this tale (even unfinished) is one of the better ones.
• Manse Griffin, by Smileyfax: Another Sandi tale, in which she inherits a house with secrets unrevealed.
• The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer, by Wraith (additional scene here): Wraith has a genius about him when writing anime crossovers. Even from these fragments, a great tale beckons. See if you agree.

• The Mystery Chick, by LSauchelli: What if Jake Morgendorffer had been a detective? What would Daria be like now? This tale provided some answers.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song (Daria/The Lord of the Rings), by Dennis: I honestly didn’t believe anyone could ever pull off this crossover, but Dennis does—and also adds more crossovers to boot. I have to know what happens with Hermione in the mix!
• Survivor Diet, by Smileyfax: If this one is pulled off right, it could rank among the best horror tales in this fandom. “Antisocial Climbers” has a very different ending. Lots of students go up a mountain, but not so many come down again. Let us say that the missing students had a very tasteful fate. This had me rattled with its first (and only) chapter.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite: In a dystopian future America, Sandi Griffin is on the run—but from who? And why? And what the hell is Quinn doing?
• Unnamed story (Daria/The Wire), by Roentgen: This one just grabbed me, and I have never once watched The Wire on TV. Marvelous crossover in such a tiny fragment.
• Wrylight (Daria/Twilight), by Minx (FF.net): Tongue firmly in cheek, Minx leads us through a wacky crossover in which some of Lawndale’s citizens might be vampires. A lot of them might be vampires, in fact. And some are good friends with poor, innocent Daria.
  

ANGST TO THE Nth POWER

• The Leggy Chick, by TheEleventy: I believe this author is back among us. This tale is one of many he left incomplete that cries out for more. A car wreck kills Daria and Trent, but leaves Jane crippled. How she puts her life back together—and who enters her life to help—create a tale to remember. It really takes you places. Excellent stuff.
• The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick: This tale was listed as complete in 2008, but was later continued. I would definitely love to see more of this sad AU in which events in the original episode called “The Misery Chick” go horribly awry.

OLD-SCHOOL SHIPPERS

• Chances (ex-Don’t Leave Anything to Chance), by Coonassblondie: A Jane/Jesse shipper, uncommon in the fandom nowadays but handed quite well by a welcome new talent. I wouldn’t mind seeing where this one leads.
• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (PPMB): Borrowing an idea from another unfinished tale, Vlora works out a believable background to have an older Daria start the series—just old enough to meet Trent on equal terms. Oh boy! Shipping at its finest.
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012: We return again to the Daria/Jane slash shipper, but this story is well told and draws the reader in nicely. (Do not confuse this with this story.)
  

A WALK ON THE WILD, WILD SIDE

• D.A.R.I.A., by Greystar: Daria’s a robot. So is Quinn. Jane just found out and isn’t handling the news so well. What could possibly go wrong? A very engaging freak-out about reality gone wrong.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser: The freakiest freak-out of all, only a whisker ahead of Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III). This series makes my brain all ‘spody. Hang on if you haven’t read either of these yet.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn: Daria crossed with A. E. van Vogt in a mind-bending adventure across two planets in a psychotic future in which the Game is All. This rivals jtranser’s future histories for sheer inventive brilliance. You’ve got to try this one.
• Inner Universe, by Malakite: I haven’t seen an idea carried out like this since the days when Renfield was among us. The series as we know it exists only within the mind of a wildly psychotic high school student named Jane Lane. This has to keep going.
• Personable Computers (Daria/Chobits), by Trscroggs: Daria and Jane are animated computers. I really need to see the story this was based upon. This fragment is too, too crazy.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (old version): Everyone else but me seems to know what’s happening in this out-there tale, but I’m fine with being ignorant and intrigued. This is just so… out there. Continue!
• Taking Tea in Dreamland, by Micka: I can hear Renfield’s ghost whispering to me in this one. Daria’s having a nightmare… that might be horribly true. (To begin with, her name isn’t Daria. It’s Jane.)
  

COMEDY CLUB

• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: A wild and mirthful “behind-the-scenes” account of what was really going on when Daria was being filmed. It was semi-usurped by a similar thread but did quite well for itself. I’d love to read more of this.
• The Handmaidens of Narcissus, by TheSecretSharer: Daria as if done by William Shakespeare. And it works. MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!
• Harry Butt-head (Daria/Beavis and Butt-head/Harry Potter), by Deep Metal: This guy has done some funny stuff on FF.net. Keep poking him to continue this one!
  

MORGENDORFFER FAMILY FOLLIES

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007: Quinn becomes Finn, a boy, in a retelling of the series with Finn Morgendorffer at the focus. I admit I was lukewarm to this series when it began, but now I am horribly hooked. It makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes, I get so involved. Excellent stuff.
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012: Another Morgendorffer Family variant: Daria’s twin sister Darla, who has Daria’s looks but not her brains and personality. This one is just getting started, but I anticipate becoming just as crazed about it as the series about Finn Morgendorffer.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (FF.net): In an alternate reality, Helen Morgendorffer has one simple idea—and the entire series and its world is changed as a result. Excellent AU construction, logical and deftly told with a conservative touch, with characters filled with life.
  

SCHOOL DAZE

• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School, or What Might Have Been), by Roentgen (continued here): One of two brilliant reinventions of the series that take place at schools other than Lawndale High. Superb characterization and startling plot twists make both this and “Regifted” treasures in the making.
• See Jane Ride (a variant of Worth the Blood), by TheEleventy. Jane is in college—developing a new form of art. Highly realistic, marvelous characterization, much fun.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar: The episode “Gifted” jumps the tracks in this AU as Daria and Jodie transfer to Grove Hills. This convoluted tale of classmate treachery and intrigue continues to thrill. Poor Jodie!
• The Substitute (Daria/DC Heroes), by Echopapa: Lawndale High gets a very different substitute teacher in the episode, “Lucky Strike.” I desperately want to see what happens next in this bizarre crossover.