As we share the joy of this lovely Valentine's Day, we are compelled to ask: what is love? Yes, love, like a tiny rivulet which begins in a high mountain, crashing down rocky slopes through mud and goat poop and garbage left by campers, and only after twisting and turning for thousands of stomach-churning miles, overcoming nausea and chapped lips and hemorrhoids and uncountable other obstacles, must eventually meet and merge with that great oil-polluted ocean of love which is its birthright and its destiny. That is love.And Anthony DeMartino wants a part of it. And you can help.
As you will surely recall, in The Daria Diaries, Mr. DeMartino sent a letter to a personal ad to ask for a chance to "attempt intimacy." Who got the letter? What happened next? Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to create a drabble (a tiny work of mini-ficlet fiction of 100 words or less) about his date, minuscule enough to fit in a Comments box below. Don't have The Daria Diaries? No problem! Here is the relevant part of the page you will need. Even a memorable line of conversation will do. Touch us! Astound us! Amaze us! Shock and horrify and gross us out! We don't care, this is the Internet and we're Daria fans!
Oh . . . and Happy Valentine's Day!
6 comments:
Dearest Anthony,
I was surprised and gladdened to receive your letter.
I actually never expected to hear from you again after all those years ago at the commune.
Vincent and I married! Of course, we still have an open relationship, so please do not let that discourage you this time.
I would love to get to know you again. Come visit this weekend for drinks, and we'll see where it goes from there.
Yours,
Amanda
"So, how is the Social Psych experiment going?" Jane asked.
"Don't ask," Daria answered, staring at the letter in horror.
"What?" Jane said. "It can't be worse than the letter you got from oh my God, that's DeMartino!"
(This is fat stereotype humor. I don't care for it, but I'm writing it anyway so somebody else doesn't.)
Well hello Tony -
I aint's been on any dates since my husband left, and I been kicked outta the alls you can eat buffet. We can picnic in my backyard, though - and watch the bug zapper.
- Irma Johanssen
Watching the bug zapper is very romantic.
Anthony DeMartino adjusted his tie and knocked on the apartment door. He inhaled as he heard footsteps approach, hoped for the best, and began his spiel as the door opened. "Good EVENING, Miss . . . TIMOTHY!"
Anthony DeMartino adjusted his tie and knocked on the apartment door. He inhaled as he heard footsteps approach, hoped for the best, and began his spiel as the door opened. "Good EVENING, Miss . . . Timothy!"
"Shaddup and get in here!"
"Janet?"
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