Is Daria coming back? Well, sort of...

Okay, so I am looking through SFMB and I see a post from yesterday by HelpfulSkittlesExplosion, or HSX the Great as we like to call her, and she points out that MTV is starting some kind of things called MTV2 Legit, which is what will be shown on Friday nights on channel MTV2. Each week, MTV2-Legit will feature some of the groundbreaking series from the 1990s that made MTV famous. Among the shows coming back is Beavis and Butt-head, so we are indeed getting Daria back on the tube, sort of, as a supporting character (see image at left).

Except, of course, we aren't going to get the actual show, Daria. I know there are rumors, but the show is not on the official list. Go to the website and see for yourself. Perhaps Daria says it best.

Why no Daria?

We have the craziest fandom. We have the only fandom on the planet Earth dedicated to a TV show that NO ONE will bring back. Excuse me for a moment.

AAAAAAUUGGGGHHH!!!!

I'm back. What the hell, it's worth it. That was (and is) a damn good show. One day, they will see the light. Until then, let the fandom keep rollin'.

P.S. I did add the Facebook Daria fan site to the recommended links at left. Enjoy.

My Night at Daria's was Too Cute!

Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of the premiere of "Too Cute," from the first season (at right), and tomorrow will be the 8th anniversary of the first showing of "My Night at Daria's," from season five. Today is just the day between. Which of these two episodes did you like best, and why? That's today's Comments question.

Disco316 has provided us with a DariaWiki page on Dariarotica. About time! Just be careful what gets added to it.

More in a few minutes. Just got out of the hospital (long story, doesn't involve a penguin, forget it), need to catch up on stuff. brb!

BACK: More discussion of a possible Midwest Dariacon 2009 around Labor Day is being held on PPMB. Interested? Post about it!

And now for the fun stuff.

PPMB

• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by Nightgoblyn (Part 4): “I’m glad this day is over,” Quinn said as she stuffed most of her books back into her locker. “You say that every day,” Jane replied. “Today, I’m especially glad.”
• Daylight: Fallen from Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco316 (Part 7): The sun was nearing the west horizon as Quinn, Sandi, and Stacy approached the Interstate 64 overpass at Golf Mountain Road. The area was desolate compared to the relatively well-populated areas of Tyler Heights and Cross Lanes, which had combined into one settlement referred to by many as Tyler’s Cross.
• Daddy's Home, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Stacy screamed as she opened the door of her room only to find... [I won't spoil it. ]
• Daria, Agent of COBRA: Expectavi, by Ranchoth (Part 3): Interrogator shook the last splatter off the tip of his baton, before wiping it passably clean on his coat. The stain blended in well with the others. "How's it coming?" [The goodness continues!]
• Falling into College 68: Judging January, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Okay, if this is such a learning moment, what am I supposed to learn?" "We can never get rid of our unconscious biases, but we can learn to control our conscious ones. Do your best to judge Nell's project as you would anyone else's." "A lot easier said than done." [Bonus nerd points for finding the Red Dwarf reference.]
• For a Time, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Helen!" Jake shouted, "I am not going to have a..." Pain suddenly stabbed his chest, and his head exploded in pain. Breath failed him and his vision began to telescope down to a pinpoint. No! I'm leaving them, just like he left me! The rest was blackness. [Happy Father's Day!]
  
• Mystik Spiral Bitchen Party, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): [Songfic time! The link leads to another link giving you the music and setting!]
• Paper Medal, by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): [A heartbreaking but beautiful story that you have to read, written by a master.]
  

In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream When You Pluck Your Eyebrows

Joycean Daria fanfic writers, rejoyce! Today is Bloomsday, when all the events in the novel Ulysses take place.

Mmm, okay, no response there. We'll move on to our other ginormous event in history today, the space flight of Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman in space, who went aloft 46 years ago. We even have a Space Quinn image (with space cell phone) to celebrate. Oops, forgot the relevant sound bite!

New Iron Chef: Father's Day!

PPMB

• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Parts 1, 2, and 3): “Let’s say I’m an alien, and you’re you.” “Jane, are you about to tell me that women really are from Venus?” Quinn asked. “Because I think I’d already know if we were.” [The author is writing faster than I can post here. When I did this post, only Part 1 was finished. You go, dude.]
  

Superbeautifulmonster, indeed

Canadian singer/ songwriter/ actress/ poet/ cartoonist Bif Naked, who voiced the part of Alison in Is It Fall Yet?, turns 38 today. You can read about her current life and all its challenges at her MySpace page or her official website. She has a significant following among Daria fans, I've heard. More power to her.

"Do these horizontal stripes make the flag look fat?"

Tiffany Blum-Deckler, as Betsy Ross, dresses up for Flag Day in the United States. She must have been paid a lot of money to wear that tacky gray outfit.

Today is also auspicious in a global sense. On this day, 187 years ago, a paper was published by the Royal Astronomical Society in which inventor Charles Babbage proposed the creation of a "difference engine," which was basically the first modern math calculator. It was hand cranked. He later proposed a more advanced version he called an analytical engine, more like a true computer. How might history have changed if the computer had caught on over a century earlier than it did? There is a Daria fanfic that attempts to find out: Legendeld's "Other Side," the only existing steampunk fanfic in this fandom. Would a steampunk world be better than ours? Jane Lane doesn't think so.

FF.net

• John Lane 40: Starry Eyes Open (COMPLETE!): Ms. Li's voice announced over Lawndale High's P.A. system, "Welcome back students and remember, the school nurse is in and ready to take your voluntary urine sample. Show your Lawndale High spirit with the gift of urine!" Walking down the hallway with Daria, John looked up at one of the speakers. "She didn't really say that, did she?"
• Just Friends, by Pinkminx (Part 11): "Daria? Is that you?" Jane's voiced echoed through the expansive flat, followed by the sound of rushed steps as she descended from the upper level meeting Daria in the hall. "Great, you're finally home. So, how'd it go?"
• Unfavorite Daughter, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Oh, don't bother," one of two boys said as an auburn-haired girl walked by them. "It's that brainy chick." The 16-year-old girl didn't give them a glance as she snapped, "Darn, and I wouldn't have been able to resist your manly good looks."

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 10): After their meal, it was fully dark outside. Roger and Scarlett deposited the bowls in the kitchen sink. At that time, he looked out the window at the car and asked, “Is that your car? Or does it belong to your parents?” She shook her head and blinked as she looked down. “It belonged to John,” she said. “I took it from him when I k--, I mean, escaped from him.” (SFMB)
• Caught, by Legendeld (Part 1): The kitchen table jumped when Quinn Morgendorffer stuck both palms onto its surface. “Daria, tell Jane she’s being unreasonable.” Daria rolled her eyes as she lifted her novel higher to block the fighting duo from view. “All I said is that I think it would be cool if you acknowledged me at school.” Jane pulled out a chair from the table and plopped down in it. “You’re the one that wants to keep our dating a secret. You don’t get it both ways.”
  
• Expecting Trouble, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): Quinn sat between her sister and Sandi Griffin as the television show came back on. “She looks so strong,” she whispered to Sandi. “I wish she had gone with her hair up though. The pigtails are making her look childish.” Sandi whispered back.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 7): Between those interruptions, as his left arm throbbed and a warm dry breeze blew over him from the driver’s view port, Mackenzie found himself falling into a different world. A few pages of typed commentary were appended to the main body of paper-clipped text, which was a carbon-copy transcription of what Daria, whoever she was, had been transmitting from California. (HTML)
  
• Lawndale's Finest: Action Stories Issue Three: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 1): The hallways of Lawndale High were filled with students milling around, talking with friends, and unloading books into lockers. The traffic was mostly headed in a single direction, and carried Jane and Quinn along with it. “What are we being dragged into the auditorium to listen to this time?” Jane grumbled. “Heck if I know,” Quinn answered with a shrug. “I still have flashbacks to the riot that broke out after our self-esteem speeches.”
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): [Looks like Luhrman is going to be a bit tied up in his work.]
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 16): On his first flight over Svalbard Island, Martin Peters took Tatyana Petrova with him. He concentrated on scanning the area for any undead, while she was ecstatic from the thrill of the experience. “I can’t believe this!” she said and looked at him. Her expression showed her happiness. “Doesn’t this thrill you?”
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Chapter 4, Part 1): Jane opened the front door of her home and greeted her two best and only friends with a semi-lucid “Yo.” “Morning to you too, sunshine,” responded Daria dully, drawing a smirk from her brother.

A Day for the Jakester

Today is one of those weirdo what-the-heck-is-this kind of pseudo-holidays, but for our purposes it turns out to be perfect. It's Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, seriously. Who makes this crap up? Anyway, we know what to do to celebrate this wonderful day: make something in the kitchen like Jake Morgendorffer would do. Just for this special day we will use the alter ego from MTV showing Jake as sushi. Reminds me of the subplot for "My Night at Daria's." Works for me.

Today is also the annual Blog Like It's the End of the World Day, as Medea42 reminds us. (Thank you.) Support your local zombie horde!

Now 1,291 fans at the Daria Fan Club! Speaking of which, anyone have any opinions or thoughts about that website? How useful is it, how could it be more useful, etc.?

The TGIF Tiger!

Today is not just Friday. It's also Russia Day! Hooray! And it's also Loving Day, hooray! And it's Friday.... oh, right.

So, why is there a tiger here? Well, I didn't want to run that picture of Daria in Moscow again since it's already on this page, far down on the left, so I'm making this a Siberian tiger. It's for Russia Day. Of course, because Daria did not have interracial couples Jane/Mack there are no images to use for Loving Day, and... okay, it's lame, it was the best I could do. If you have a better image, let us know.

PPMB

• Am I Being Served? by Ajar (COMPLETE!): Jane (to Daria): "He should know better than to count his noses before they've browned." "What are you saying?" "I'm not sure. I knew what I was about to say wasn't going to work as soon as I said that he should know something."
  
• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 9): "Oh, this just came in over the Internet. You chose one hell of a person to pick a fight with.” “What the hell are you talking about?” “Daria Morgendorffer is a former U.S. Army Ranger who served honorably in Iraq. She was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and a Silver Star. The woman’s a war hero, Bill.” (SFMB)
• Falling into College 68: Judging January, by Richard Lobinske (Part 3): "Hi, Quinn," Michael said. "Do you have time to answer a question or two?" Without hesitation, she said, "You're in the doghouse, aren't you?"
  

Aloha, Yo!

Today is Kamehameha Day, honoring King Kamehameha of Hawaii. Do something to celebrate the occasion! I don't know, just do something, roast a pig or eat pineapple, watch Is It Fall Yet? Go wild!

More soon. It's soon!

The courageous Disco316 has taken up the unenviable task of finding and listing all NC-17 Daria stories (Dariarotica). His list is on SFMB somewhere. If you can't find it, you're not supposed to find it. Some works are borderline but fit more into the conventional listing (e.g., "Embers" and "Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations," both by Undefinedlust, which is what I said in the first place). If you have an opinion on what constitutes Dariarotica, particularly which works should be in which list, post your thoughts here.

Another Piece of Her Heart

Singer Janis Joplin, then with Big Brother & The Holding Company, performed her first live concert today 45 years ago at The Avalon in San Francisco. Quinn does her own performance in a Joplin-esque 1960s outfit at right, a bit reminiscent of Janis's appearance on the cover of her last album, Pearl. Janis was terrific.

I confess I was taken aback in recent weeks by the virtual flood of fanfiction from writers. More power to you, Daria fans!

FF.net

• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 18): "And at about $1,800, you should have a new wall… and windows. And support beams. Actually…" The builder ran through some more numbers till he handed Trent a slip of paper sporting more zeros than anything else. "$3,500," Trent read, looking between the builder and the paper before coughing a little. "Can we, uh, get back to you?" [The story even mentions Paul Gauguin!]
  

PPMB

• 11:30, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): "So, you got clearance to do this at 11:30, right?" "That’s right." "So, is it 11:30 yet, Daria?" "Nope, not yet."
• FBCB, by Wraith (finally continued!): "Right. You guys get ready. I'll deal with him." Quinn stalked over to the closet door, ripped the bar out of the way, opened the door, and immediately slammed it shut again. “Ew!”
• Fundamental Daria: Numb, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): “Just leave me alone!” I shouted, and slammed the door to my room. I had been on the edge of tears, and if getting my mother off my back had taken any longer, I might not have made it to my bed.
  
• Reaped Out (Dead Like Me crossover), by PinkMinx (Parts 11 and 12): "Jesus, Trent. Remind me why I agreed to come here with you." Jane shot a look of concern toward her brother. "'Cause I said I'd buy you lunch." Trent looked down at Jane with a lopsided grin. "Plus there’s that new art store that’s opened. I hear they have the biggest range of gouache in the state." [Oh, no! Not... HIM!] [And now, Part 12, too!]
  

Yay, Secretariat!

Thirty-six years ago today, Secretariat won the Triple Crown at Belmont by the most incredible margin imaginable: 31 lengths! Hooray!

Hmmm. Perhaps some of you feel it is more important to celebrate instead the 12th anniversary of the first showing of "Pinch Sitter," which broke the mini-drought for the show's first season, but to each his/her/its own. It did mark the first time that zombies were mentioned in the show, I believe:

Tad: But too much TV is bad for you.
Tricia: It can turn you into a zombie, Daria.
Daria : Well, that'll make three of us.

It is worth mentioning one great line Daria gets in the episode. Love it.

All the Grizzly Details

Fifteen years ago today in another universe, a young girl named Daria Morgendorffer vanished on a nature hike at Camp Grizzly. This is her story. And yes yes yes yes yes, I am going to finish the series this year if at all possible.

Brother Grimace discovered an interesting essay about the "Macho Sue" character type, which provoked a lot of thought on my part (and probably for others by the time you read this). See the thread about this topic right here. Jane Lane has her own thoughts on the Macho Sue topic.

PPMB

• The Cynic and the Defender, by Doggieboy (Part 12): Daria answered the door before Robert could knock, and the two embraced and kissed. “Is she here?” he asked when he broke the kiss. She nodded and smiled. “Yes. She’s very impatient. Said something about going to the mall to meet her friends.”
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 8): “Well, you don’t see that everyday,” Tomcat said, lowering his binoculars. Robin put down her takeout box of curry and pulled herself up so she could see over the safety wall at the roof’s edge. The bright pink Cadillac pulling into the mostly empty parking lot next to Ace Chemical stood out like a sore thumb. “It looks like a pimp car,” she said. She reached up and tapped her goggles, zooming in on the car as the driver got out and started walking towards the building. “He’s the plant director’s son.” [Epilogue now up! Wow!]
  
• Noon, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): 11:59. Her hand trembles as she brings the glass to bruised lips. The crystal is clouded by a smear of carmine which contrasts against the golden liquid within. (FF.net)
• Reaped Out (Dead Like Me crossover finally has a name! Yay, Pinkminx!), by Pinkminx (Part 9): "What do you mean you just left him there?" Rube folded the crossword section of the newspaper and set it down beside him. "Your job specifies that you take the soul and guide them into the afterlife" He leant forward and grasped his hands together, interlocking his fingers as he inhaled deeply, waiting for Daria's reply.
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsiblity, by Richard Lobinske and Brother Grimace (Part 1): Dressed in his flight gear and carrying a helmet with "Archangel" painted across the visor cover, Capt. Gerald Wright angrily marched away from the campus helipad toward the Curtis E. LeMay College of Military Studies. "AlertCon One and I'm here to ferry the old Project Fast Forward director back to Uatu HQ," the tall, well muscled African-American growled. "I'm the one that warned them that the **** was going to hit the fan today and they're sending me off on taxi duty. I know Gen. Trainor has connections, but dammit."
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Tom was surprised to receive an an email from his old girlfriend Jane Lane, and even more surprised to find that it contained business information. Apparently, the Baltimore area was home to a wealthy recluse who needed an financial adviser to keep his father's formerly successful meat packing business going. Jane's email had the man's name, Mason Verger, and the address of a large mansion in Owings Mills. Tom had wasted no time in heading over.
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Deref (COMPLETE!): It was pure coincidence that, as Kevin stepped off the landing gear tread, his static line, snapping back against the release, whipped across the cow's rump. The cow (whose presence in the plane was another of those unlikely coincidences that, while rare, are not altogether unknown), not thinking particularly clearly (not unusually, it must be said, for a cow), bolted for (and inevitably out of) the door, following closely behind Kevin as he plunged earthwards. Meanwhile, below, Jane was admonishing Tom and Daria...
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Derek (COMPLETE!): The wind roared in Sam Johnson's ears as he plummeted towards the ground. He loved skydiving. It was the ultimate feeling of freedom. The only thing better would be to have actual wings. With a mental sigh, he decided it was time to open his parachute. He reached up and yanked on the chute's ripcord. Nothing happened.
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Tom glanced around in confusion, trying to figure out how he'd ended up in the middle of a barren, stony desert. Just a couple of minutes ago, he'd been eating at the Good Time Chinese Restaurant with his girlfriend Daria and his ex-girlfriend Jane. He'd gotten up to use the bathroom, gotten lost somewhere in the back of the building on his way out, and apparently ended up somewhere in the Midwest.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Well, bailiff... call the next case," Charles Ruttheimer III said, leering unashamedly at Brittany Taylor as he sat behind the desk placed on a pair of risers in the classroom, proud as a bantam rooster as he stroked the fabric of the black judge's robe he wore. "Rowlllll..."
  

Wiki News Roundup

This is an excellent time to acknowledge the Herculean labors spent by some of our finest fans in sprucing up DariaWiki, our one-stop 411 fandom resource. Tremendous work has been put in by Richard Lobinske, Disco316, Doggieboy, Brother Grimace, and Roentgen, with helpful bits added by Quiverwing, Nighthawk, João Paulo Costa, Dennis, Silver, and HSX. Thank you all!

Some interesting new DariaWiki pages added of late include: Amy Bennett, Club Sandwich, A Crossover Too Far Back, Esper Prime, John Wayne's Horse, Pause in Life, The Road Home, StAnS gOdDesS, and A Trick or Treat.

In reviewing this post, Daria herself offers her personal assessment of these fine accomplishments. Stand tall, fans! Or, you know, not.

Making a Good First Post-Impression

Paul Gauguin, the famed Post-Impressionist painter, was born this day 161 years ago. His name appears in very few fanfics, the only one I can find being this one, an interesting read in itself. You can bet Jane Lane knew who he was. In fact, if Gauguin had made a woodcut of Jane (he was fond of creating woodcuts as well as paintings), it might have looked like the MTV alter ego at right.

Or, you know, not.

LATE BREAKING MOAR! Richard Lobinske asked for a sound bite for this post. Here is Jane Lane, telling us the secret of Gauguin's artistic genius.

More later today, will be busy for a while. Enjoy.

FF.net

• Apocalyptic Daria: Brave New World, by Doggieboy, a.k.a. Doggieboy80 (updated to Part 8)
• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy, a.k.a. Doggieboy80 (updated to Part 9)
• Don't Wound What You Can't Kill, by thatLONERchick, a.k.a. Alpacca Joe (COMPLETE!): Golden afternoon sun shone gaily down on the Morgendorffer lawn on a quiet, typical late Spring day. The carefully maintained shrubs on the side lawn rustled in the light breeze and a butterfly fluttered past, capping the idyllic scene. Circumstances in the fenced-in backyard were slightly different. "You shoulda killed me when you had the chance, Jakey." (PPMB)
• Falling Asleep Drunk, by Valie (COMPLETE!): Jane had warned her friend what would happen if she kept downing the vodka shots.

PPMB

• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 7): Quinn shuffled along, hunched over against the winter wind that made the trees sway and groan. When she reached the school building, she shifted her bag into her left hand and knocked loudly on the front door. After a few seconds spent shivering in the cold, the door swung open and she hurried inside. “Good evening, Miss Morgendorffer.”

BOOM! Good morning, Earth! This is your wake-up call!

Was there ever a story about Lawndale getting hit by a giant asteroid or meteor? I keep thinking there was, but most of the fandom talk about it was from the early 2000's, kind of a joke meme. But did someone ever write something like that? Maybe an old timer can clue me in.

Today is the 7th anniversary of the Eastern Mediterranean Event, which is why I was wondering. It appears to have been an impact event, one of those little reminders that the cosmos is very big and we are very small and easily stepped on. Still pretty cool, though.

Today is also the 70th anniversary of the declared death of Judge Crater, a well-known New York City judge who vanished without a trace in 1930. There is considerable controversy over his disappearance, and at one time it was considered a sensational mystery story. His name, along with those of writer Ambrose Bierce and pilot Amelia Earhart, has become synonymous with missing persons in general. Were Eric Schrecter to vanish in a similar way, would anyone care?

What if it was Helen Morgendorffer?

PPMB

• Expecting Trouble, by Legendeld (Part 9): Helen Morgendorffer didn’t hear her youngest daughter enter the kitchen but when she finally noticed Quinn standing at the age of the nook bar looking at her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the redhead had been standing there for a long time. She pushed the paperwork away from her and tried to give a smile that she hoped wouldn’t be more of a grimace.
• Falling Into College 68: Judging January, by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): "At least I stopped sleeping with the knife under my pillow." "That's because I kept bumping it in the middle of the night and you moved it to your nightstand." "It's progress." [Plus, Michael screws the pooch and brings out Daria's inner b-word. Stay tuned.]
  
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 5): The rough surface of the rooftop crunched as Robin settled herself down to peer over the low safety wall at the edge. She tapped the side of her goggles the way she’d been shown to activate the zoom function, and then carefully scanned the shipping yard across the street. The stench of the industrial park was stupendous, but she wasn’t going to let that dim her high spirits.
  
  

Summer has officially begun

In this image that I'm willing to bet very few of you have seen before (from the Sick, Sad Life Planner), Jane Lane reminds us that even though school is out, that's no reason to forget all the nutbars you've had to put up with. Or maybe you should. Your mileage may vary. Click on the pic to get the full-size image. SPECIAL NOTE: The yearbook she signed has the correct LHS school colors, blue and yellow!

"Schooooool is out... for... summer!"

An Apple a Day....

Yes, it's World Environment Day once again, but we don't care about that. Thirty-two years ago today, the first Apple II hit the market. Daria Morgendorffer, it is often said, uses a computer that resembles an Apple. I have no idea what it is, you tell me.

There was a modified version of the frontispiece of The Daria Database that had Daria in an Apple advertisement, but I cannot find it now. Where'd it go?

Anyway, more soon. I have not updated all the recent goodies on DariaWiki but will do so later.

FF.net

• Daria, Poem Unlimited: The Meme Wars, Part III, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): [Oh. My. God. I immediately posted the link to this story on DariaWiki under "Good Crackfic." Awesome.]
• Daria Wakes Up and Slinks Off to the Pub, by NoLogique (Part 1): Daria woke up and slunk off to the pub. She selected her plaid jacket, the one that reminded her of Jane so much. She wandered through the chilly morning, the tint of rain clammy at her face. There was a man in a large cardboard robot costume in front of the pub doors, stepping out into the street jerkily. [Whoa. Out there, man.]
• The DT Files, by SSJ04 Mewtwo (COMPLETE!): [LOTS of ficlets, very cool stuff. Some are on the adult side, so to be safe this is linked to the author's site and not here.]

PPMB

• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 8): When Daria stepped away and jumped off the cliff face, the three people in the helicopter stared in shock. All were silent, except for the single f-bomb uttered by Jack. They watched as the woman hit several pine, maple and fir tree branches on her way to the reservoir below. Each branch she hit broke, but they also served to slow her fall, somewhat. Then she hit the water in a dive and disappeared under the surface. (SFMB)
  
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 6): Mackenzie found it easier to stand up in the Saladin’s turret if he supported himself with his right elbow on the lip of the gunner’s hatch while bracing his left boot against a stacked ammo box by the ladder below. Keeping the sling for his left arm tied against his chest also helped, though he credited much of his consciousness to the bursts of agony from his gunshot wound whenever the Saladin’s bad shocks jolted after hitting broken asphalt or debris. Medication scarcely diminished the pain. (SFMB) (HTML)
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Outside, the world held its breath, but inside the room, all was quiet. Senator William Jacob Sloane, the senior Senator from Maryland looked down at the aged figure in the bed before him. His father had maintained vigor in both body and mind well into his 90s, but the death of his beloved wife of over 70 years had finally sent the great man into his fatal decline. Now all that was left was a barely breathing shell.
  
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Parts 7 and 8): Tom led Jane to a quiet booth seat in the far corner of the bar and sat down. Jane stood at the end of the table arms folded protectively across her chest. "What do you want?" she asked vehemently. She was not in the mood for social niceties. BONUS! [from Part 8]: She sat in the shade of one of the oak trees as she tried to bide her time before her next reap. She withdrew the small piece of crumpled yellow paper and glared at; she knew the hit, she knew the address; it was her mother's law firm and her care factor was hovering around zero. [Whoa!]
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Project Pegasus (continued from earlier fragment): Daria climbed leisurely up the stairs that led to the roof, humming "Pop Goes the Weasel" for kicks. As she lifted the hatch that opened onto the roof, she met the smell of military grade explosives mixed with construction material turned carcinogenic by being set aflame. The slightest whiff of charred flesh made her blood rush.
  

"Aunt Nauseam" Turns Eight

"Aunt Nauseam" the episode is eight years old today. One of the most interesting lines from that show, to me, was Quinn's recitation of Sandi Griffin's claim that "[I]f you want to get technical, all writing is plagiarism because you're using words that already exist." That was quite clever.

We also learn that Eric has apparently gone into detox for amphetamine addiction (again) and Amy Barksdale was not as cool as was earlier supposed. We learn that Jake knows something about Civil War cooking (American, not English or Russian or whatever), we learn the show's writers know how to continue a theme in a grand way (picking up from "I Don't"), and....

Wait a minute. Did Sandi Griffin actually type out the entire contents of Bram Stoker's novel, Dracula, and submit it to her teacher? Perhaps she downloaded it from the Internet instead, but that isn't what was said. In a way, this revelation is more interesting that the sororal battle of the Barksdales. Why did she pick Dracula, of all things? Did she actually read the entire book? Does she have a deep and true fixation with vampires, horror novels, Gothic novels, or something of that ilk? She talks about the novel as if it were important to her. Does Sandi have a secret... addiction to reading books? Intriguing.

There is a pun here, of course, involving the 1992 movie Bram Stoker's Dracula (the title of which Sandi was obviously imitating). Moreover, one of the alter egos used on the show has Sandi Griffin dressed and made up exactly like the Dracula of that particular movie. Talk about your running gags! See this link for the picture and details.

The connection between Sandi Griffin and vampirism has been explored in fanfiction, too, as noted earlier in this blog. Another Sandi-the-vampire story was begun by Smileyfax on FF.net, a very interesting tale called "Liquid Diet." (Moar, plz.) This is a fandom theme that resonates.

Anyway, happy eighth birthday to the nauseating aunts. And to Sandi Griffin's Dracula.

What is it with the tsunami of fanfiction lately? Whatever's causing it, I hope it doesn't stop!

FF.net

• Take Me on the Floor, by MandeeMistress (Part 1): [I was going to add a segment of the story here, but with a title like that, why bother. Daria/Trent shippers, have fun!]
  

PPMB

• Daylight: The Hope Mission, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): No human eyes saw the small vortex in space appear. It was there only for a moment, visible as it formed three hundred and fifty miles above the northeastern Caribbean—long enough for an object to appear and pass through. [Look for the cameo!]
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 4): This is weird, Jodie thought. No parents around pressuring me to do things. Lots of people my own age fending for themselves. It's like Lord of the Flies but with a lot more Piggys.
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Hey you two," Daria said as she walked into the room. "Hey, is that a cheeseburger?" she said with a slight pique of curiosity. "Sure is. Have some," she said, handing the cheeseburger over to Daria. "Oh gross!" Daria said as she lifted the bun to inspect it, "Pickles!"
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Part 6): The warm summer breeze glided around Daria's bared shoulders, encircling her as she plodded along the pavement; head down with her arms folded loosely across her abdomen. The vision of Mrs. Johanssen sweeping across the floor of Payday on a cascading kaleidoscopic sea of candy repeated itself once again in her conflicted mind. She was unsure of how she felt. Guilt was one of the prominent emotions, the guilt of her involvement in the death of an innocent woman, but more so the guilt of not feeling guilty enough. She was a grim reaper, Death, proverbial scythe at the ready, and it scared her that she was more than a little okay with that.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria was casually chewing gum as her car ran over a stop sign. She raised an eyebrow at the stares she got from the boys in blue and got out of her vehicle. "Whats the problem?" she asked to the nearest officer.
  

More to Come (Soon)

Today is the anniversary of poet Allen Ginsberg's birth, but that was covered well enough last year. Clicking on his name will take you to last year's post and all the information therein.

Hmmm, what else to talk about. I will try to fill in all the recent fanfic releases here, but be patient, there will probably be delays. More soon. Okay, back again. Sorry for the delay, but at least I have time to input all the new stuff, a lot of which is really good. I love this fandom. You people are the greatest.

On PPMB, Undefinedlust challenges everyone to "Defend Your Ship!" He asks, "Is there a 'ship you don't like? Then walk a mile in that 'ship's shoes before casting stones. I challenge everyone to write a ficlet that credibly depicts a ship you don't care for." Go for it. Give Alison/Fluffy the shot it so badly needs!



Note: All of the new stuff on FF.net is worth reading. Well done.


FF.net

• And Then Daria and Jane Kissed, by Smileyfax (up to Part 4): [Don't pretend you don't know what's going on here. Enjoy the fan service.]
• Daylight: Hell Freezes Over, by Smileyfax (Part 1): The wind howled, battering the thin walls of Casa Lane with more and more snow. Chill seeped in through the various cracks in the walls, through the seals that no longer held the windowpanes as securely as they once had, under doors—the house was barely warmer inside than out. The warmest spot in the house was the basement. Figures, wrapped tightly in blankets and the thickest clothing they could find, huddled around what once was used as a kiln. Now, it held a fire, kept fed by various scraps that they had found scrounging outside during the day. [Excellent variation on the Daylight concept!]
  
• Dinner, a Flat Tire, and Other Stupid Things, by SSJ04 Mewtwo (Part 1): [I didn't include a link because the story abruptly becomes NC-17 at the end. (You have been warned.) You'll have no trouble finding the tale if you go to the author's page using the author's name link. Interesting, and a nice alternate-universe take-off on "One J at a Time"... however, there is one typo, unfortunate but hilarious, that will throw you. See if you can find it. Does Amy know something about Daria that we don't?]
• One Night, by Charliefox2012 (Part 2): I sit across from her in our usual booth in our usual pizza place. She eats and complains again of the jock and his blonde bimbo. I sip my soda and listen to her quietly. I don’t have much to say about them. Besides, it’s good to hear her talk. It’s so much better than her awkward silences of late. [Slash, with depth!]
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Parts 16 and 17): Despite the cosmic forces usually working against Trent, it wasn’t Daria at the door. Donned in their usual Lawndale uniforms, Brittany and Kevin appeared with smiles on their faces and hesitant movements in the doorway. Trent stared down at the matching couple. After a few quiet moments, Trent stood aside and stared out to the street with a slight earnest he rarely possessed. "Hey kids," Jane happily chimed, stepping over and inviting them in.

PPMB

• Daylight: Hell Freezes Over, by Smijey, a.k.a. Smileyfax (Part 1): [Welcome to PPMB, at last! Hooray! Story reposted from FF.net.]
  
• Falling Into College 68: Judging January, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): "Hi, Daria. I thought I'd call and see how you and Michael were settling in." "We haven't killed each other yet, though if he leaves the toilet seat up one more time, all bets are off." [Heh heh heh heh heh.... angst!]
  
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 5): By ten o’clock the next morning, the sky was a deep infinite blue unmarred by cloud. The sun was a blinding white ball of silent flame. The desert was an inferno.
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Parts 5 and 6): Quinn hurried across the Pizza King and dropped into a booth to join Jane and Charles, who were already most of the way through a large pizza. She leaned over and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek, and then pulled off her cap and gloves. “Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time while researching a story,” Quinn said, reaching for a slice of pizza. “No problem,” Jane answered. “I’ve spent the time trying to pick up your boyfriend.” [A real top-notch crossover, masterfully handled.]
  
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 15): After the rescue in the abandoned Salvation Army Thrift Store, Julie Renner practiced the use of the new Defender Ring on her right hand. One practice she found funny involved using her new-found telekinetic powers to lift Robert and make him do funny dances. [Loved that part.]
  
• An Unexpected View, by Paisleygal (Part 2): “I don’t blame you for being surprised. I asked your agent not to tell you it was me. I wanted it to be a surprise. Can I get you something to drink?” Kevin was smiling at Daria, and Daria was staring at him. She was mesmerized by the change in him. If she looked closely, she could make out the Kevin she knew in High School, but he was so different. It was compelling. His eyes were filled with warmth and intelligence. His smile was confident and charming rather than goofy and vacant. Kevin was intriguing. The writer in her couldn’t wait to unravel the mystery of such a great metamorphosis. [This one is a real trip!]
  
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Parts 4 and 5): Daria watched Jane and Trent shrink into the distance as they drove away. She turned and slumped into her seat catching a glimpse of her reflection in the in rear view mirror; a stranger stared back with a mirroring expression of bewilderment, of all the things that dying entailed this freaked her out the most. They shared the same eyes, but there were many discernible differences. The mirrored girl's chin was more angular, her cheekbones a little more prominent. Daria's lips remained although she seemed to have been blessed with Quinn's nose. [Keep this one going!]
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): Helen sat in the beautifully hand carved chair at her equally beautiful matching desk. Her thoughts lingered on the hastily truncated ceremony that had wed her to Prince Eric. With a resolute sigh, she carefully removed the silver dagger from its gold case. With a firm grip she turned the blade and let its point rest on her ample bosom, just over her heart. [Daria/The Princess Bride]
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): As Daria poked her head around the boulder, a football-shaped rock shattered next to her head. "I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss," Kevin said, voice indistinct. "I believe you," Daria said, looking at the behemoth football player. Nervousness crept into her voice. "So what happens now?" [Daria/The Princess Bride]

Crack That Whip!

As you may recall from last year at this time, this day is the 269th anniversary of the birth of the Marquis de Sade, who gave angst a good name. BAD name, sorry, I meant to say he gave it a bad name. Freudian slip there.



Bottoms up!








Didn't mean to leave this much space. Drat.

We Hope You Will Enjoy the Show...

The Beatles released what was perhaps their greatest album 42 years ago today. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was most famous, of course, for inspiring this Daria fanfic by jak981125 and this work of art by Kemical Reaxion. Awesomeness.

Today is also International Children's Day. Be nice to a kid somewhere. You were one once. Maybe.

Lots of space to fill here. L8r.

And Yet, When I Hear Her Name, I Still Think of Chocolates

Today is the traditional date when Lady Godiva went riding bareback (and bare everything else). Helen Morgendorffer here re-enacts that historic moment. Wait a minute, she's blonde now! Why didn't I notice that last year? Oh, forget it.

My joke here last year was, "She's barely legal!" If you have a better joke about Helen than than, put it in Comments. At least we can say we've seen her in her legal briefs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Can't use that one! And I know some places refer to lawyers as solicitors, but this is ridiculous! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I love myself.

What's in the fandom news section of the paper today.... oh, the Midwest Dariacon at Kristen and Bryan's place is still tentatively set for around Labor Day.

Notorious grammar raconteur "smk" is offering free writing lessons on PPMB for anyone who speaks English and anyone who thinks they speak English. This offer apparently stems from a few nightmarish experiences while beta-reading fanfics.



FF.net

• And Then Daria and Jane Kissed, by Smileyfax (Part 1): They watched the awkward-looking redhead continue to make a fool of himself some more. "What else would we do?" Jane asked. "There're only so many UFO conventions a year, you know." Daria thought about it. "I don't know. I'm sure we can find ways to keep ourselves occupied." Jane nodded, then smiled. "We could always make out."
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 15): With this horrible resolution in mind, Trent and Daria went back to Trent’s hovel and began working at their music once more. Daria was thankful that Trent seemed to be working at a faster pace than usual. He still seemed to have issues with the idea of a deadline, but he had offered this time—and, with only a few weeks left till she was 18 and Trent needed the music done, he had pulled himself together.

PPMB

• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 6): Daria reached the top of the hill several minutes after leaving the sheriff behind. She bent over slightly, her hands on her knees, as she panted in the now-steady rainfall. Her breaths came out in white vapors and goose-bumps dotted her forearms. She looked around as she rested and saw an oil pump in the distance. Beyond that she saw some sheds and what looked like a large oil tank of some sort. The woman finally took off at a jog towards the oil company equipment.
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 4): The Gotham east side got cold at night, when the sun went down and the wind started blowing off the Atlantic. More so on the rooftops, most of which are barren and open to the cutting knife of the wind. The moon was obscured behind the thin, scudding clouds, almost like it couldn’t stand to look down on Gotham. Sometimes, I know exactly how it feels, Batgirl thought.
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane walked into Ms. Li's office. They had been called out of Mr. O'Neill's class over the intercom and they entered the room with a mixture of dread and relief - it got them out of a test. "Ms. Morgendorffer, Ms. Lane," said Principal Li, "this is a new student at Lawndale High and I want you to introduce her to everybody. I wanted her to be treated very nicely." "Hi!" said the blonde girl. "My name's Luann! Luann DeGroot!"
  

We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By.

The very first Indianapolis 500 was held on this day a mere 98 years ago. Cool as it was, it was not cooler than the Kentucky Derby, however. (Sorry, little bit of local-city rivalry creeping in there.) At right we see Trent's unsuccessful attempt to duplicate that historic event.

FF.net

• Omega Omega, by Smileyfax (Part 6): "Lucy, I'm home!" Jane cried out with a faux-Cuban accent. "You got some 'splainin to do!" "Jane..." Jane turned at the voice. "Penny?"

PPMB

• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 3): Jane grabbed another slice of pizza and shook her head. “Can she get away with that? Isn’t there something in the Constitution about freedom of the press? I clearly remember DeMartino talking about it last year.” “It’s her press,” Quinn answered. “She has final say over what it prints. It’s not fair, but I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it.”
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 3): Jane leaned against the lockers in the usual hallway in the usual fashion, ignoring the usual people, but something was certainly amiss. This day is going to go incredibly slowly. At least with Daria I had someone intelligent to talk to. Darn it if she didn't just brighten up the day with her pessimism. “Hi, Jane,” Brittany said. “Umm... where's Daria?” “Daria doesn't go here anymore,” Jane said. “Ms. Li basically forced her out.”
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (COMPLETE!): Evgenia, the palace antiquities curator, found herself invisibly bound hand and foot, her clothes scattered on the tessellated travertine and marble floor and an angry Daria standing over her holding the Respighest, fully charged and rippling moires of crackling energy.
  
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Part 3): Daria sighed. She hated to admit it, but it was cool watching herself being torn apart and put back together, although she found it depressing that the first man to see her fully undressed was the one that was readying her for burial. One thought resonated through her mind: Don't try and cop a feel, you old necrophiliac bastard. [Story was started here, then moved here] (FF.net).
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Famous Movie Lines), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine." Daria said sotto voce from behind the bar, as her sister strolled in with a cheery smile, her fashionista friends in tow.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Famous Movie Lines), by Disco 316 (COMPLETE!): Sandi addressed the women gathered around her while Quinn stood silently behind her. "The first rule of Fashion Club is that you do not talk about Fashion Club. The second rule of Fashion Club is you do not talk about Fashion Club."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Famous Movie Lines), by Gouka Ryuu (COMPLETE!): "But Tom, Tom, Tom!" Daria nearly shouted as the young man who had been making to leave but had stopped and turned to see what her outburst was about. "Tom, if you go, where will I go? What will I do?"
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Quinn Morgendorffer walked happily towards the Fashionable Table at the Lawndale High School lunch room. She was wearing a brand new fashionable pair of expensive designer tennis shoes with pink shoelaces and she was looking towards the Three Js fawning all over her. Instead, she saw the Three Js fawning over... Jane Lane.
  

Time Flies When You Don't Have A Clue

It's Saturday morning and I realized that it's been five years since I started "The Last Summer", setting Daria on a new path after "Is It College Yet?" that's grown far beyond what I had anticipated.



She's probably grumbling, "Okay, if it's been five years, why am I still in college?"

Summer Feisty, Summer Not

Upchuck welcomes summertime weather in this image from the Sick, Sad Life Planner CD. If you want the audio portion, click here after you turn up your speakers.

Apparently everyone on the planet has decided to write Daria fanfic, so my update here will take a few minutes to assemble. I can hardly complain. An excess of fanfic is better than the alternative. A little news first:

Roxanne M has started a new PPMB Iron Chef: Famous Movie Lines. See what you can do with that. I remember Richard Lobinske used the line, "Top of the world, ma!" in a fanfic once.

Brandon League's new Iron Chef is called Favorite Aunt Meets Amiga. Three guesses what it's about, and the first two don't count. ("I really admire your fortitude, Jane," Amy gasped.)

Fanfic writer ninetwelve needs help for writer's block.

Looking for Daria crossovers at FF.net to read? Want to post your own? Here's the place!

FF.net

• It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, by Medea42 (COMPLETE!): [WARNING: This is a Daria/Harry Potter crossover which has been further crossed over with a third story world, the nature of which is too horrible to reveal here. I dare not even post a spoiler. Read it at your own risk! Heh heh heh heh heh...]
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 14): Daria plodded along the Mall of the Millennium, ignoring doo-dads and whozits. It seemed as if there was nothing she could do but walk. She eventually arrived at her ideal location. A smile sprawled out across her face for a split second before dropping back to indifference. Wally’s Watches and Winches. Daria didn’t know why they sold winches and watches in the same store, but she ignored this minor detail and entered the store with barely suppressed disgust at the store’s overpriced and "family-friendly" approach.

PPMB

• Daylight: Fallen From Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco 316 (Part 6): As the women approached within 25 feet, the smaller man yelled, “Halt, who goes there!” and pointed his sword at the women. The tone of his was intended to be stern, though the intimidating effect was somewhat negated by the higher register and reedy quality of his voice. The redhead at the front of the group replied. “Hi, I’m Quinn, and this is Sandi and Stacy.” She gestured to both in turn. “We’re just passing through on our way to Nitro, so if you don’t mind letting us go through…”
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG (Part 3): It happened so quickly there was no time to shoot or even call out.
• John Lane 40: Starry Eyes Open, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Hello, Tom," a pretty blonde said while stepping past Quinn as if she wasn't there. Uncomfortable and annoyed, he said, "Hi, Melanie." "It's nice to see you out and about like this instead of skulking around the little people." "Ahem," Quinn sharply said.
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 2): “So, how’s Stacy?” Charles asked. “How do you think she is?” Quinn answered sadly. The couple stood on the school lawn, shivering slightly in their heavy winter coats and watching the light snow drifting down. “She went from Olympic hopeful to crippled orphan before she graduated high school.”
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Part 2): "What do you mean dead? How can I be dead? I'd remember it, I'd have felt it!" [story was started here, then moved here] (FF.net).
  
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Brandon League (COMPLETE!): Daria sat in the room. Hell, it beat standing. [That's the entire fanfic.]
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. She waited quietly, though she was not necessarily patient about it. It was hard to be patient when the surrounding rooms had zombies in them.
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Daria sat in the room. Where the room was at or its contents were irrelevant. The quiet...the quiet was what was important. Inside, there was peace. Rest. Sanity.
  

More shortly. Stay tuned, amigas.

Thursday?

Sorry, under the weather again and forgot to blog.

Um, this is Thursday, right? Okay.

More breaking news to come, once there is any.

The Fire Down Below

Forty-seven years ago today, a small fire began to burn in the abandoned coal mines below Centralia, Pennsylvania. In time this accident created one of the most bizarre and infamous ghost towns in modern history, and later gave birth to the Silent Hill computer game. Could the same thing happen to Lawndale? It has a rock quarry that might have tunnels below the town, but rock is notoriously nonflammable. Still, Daria and Jane can dream....

"A quarter of a million spare tires meant to be used in case of atomic war have caught fire in an underground quarry beneath Lawndale!"

Moar l8r!

L8R: Latest addition to DariaWiki: a new Kentucky county! Thanks, Doggieboy!

Dang, people are writing waaaaaaay too much lately. Jeepers, can you believe this? How am I supposed to keep up with this stuff? Guess I'll give it the old college try....

FF.net

• My Fair Zombie, by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Does this... giant bleeding wound... make me look fat?"

PPMB

• Am I Being Served? by Ajar (Part 5): "They replaced the cheese with a tofu-based substitute," said Quinn. "I mean, it's healthy and all, but my Dad's cooking is, like, way better than this, and his cooking has put people in the hospital. And no diet soda. How do you people live?"
  
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 1): Daria stood and watched the video screen, protected from the chill of the cave by a pair of slacks and a turtleneck sweater, both in black. The video had been recovered from one of the parking lot security cameras at the Gotham convention center, and Daria was watching it frame by frame.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "My braces made me do it"), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Sandi sat in her bedroom and pouted. Her teeth ached from the constant pressure of the new braces, and she had several new cuts on the insides of her cheeks and lips where her mouth was adjusting to the new appliance. Her only solace was the new kitten her parents had bought her as a reward for being a brave little girl at the dentist's office. She cuddled the little ball of fur in her lap and smiled down at it. "How about I call you Fluffy? Do you like Fluffy?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "My braces made me do it"), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "I will have to admit that Ms. Jericho and her lawyers have told a compelling story," said Daria. "And certainly, they have done an admirable job of supplying a burden of proof. It is definitely true that on September 2nd, Sandi Griffin assaulted Tori Jericho, beating her about the face for several minutes, breaking her jaw and fracturing her eye socket. The defense has never contested the evidence offered by the prosecution. We have offered no objections for it. However—" Daria took off her glasses "—I would like to remind the jury that nothing matters without context."
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Brandon League (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room, surrounded by rabid squirrels with ebola.
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. There was no light. There was no sound, save that of her breathing and the soft sounds of her urine as it dripped over the edge of the metal chair she sat bound to and puddled beneath her.
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. Quinn Morgendorffer sat in the other room. Jake Morgendorffer sat in the office. Helen Morgendorffer sat in the courtroom. Each had only one thought....
  
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. The six foot tall warrior clad from head to toe in a golden metallic shell walked in an stood at attention before her. A single red glow passed back and forth in a black slot where it's eyes should have been. Its synthesized voice uttered a single sentence.
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Medea42 (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in her room. She found it adequate. [That's actually the whole story.]
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Pinkminx (COMPLETE!): As she came to Daria immediately became aware of two things: the rancid smell of stale vomit that infiltrated her nostrils, and the faint burning sensation in her wrists and ankles. (Daria/A Clockwork Orange) (see also here)
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): The room had been designed by generations of Baltimore homicide detectives. Designed, however, is too deliberate a word. Who was the police who first had the insight to put heat at sub-tropical levels? Had the insight underlying this, that the guilty had a tendency towards torpor, been forgotten and rediscovered?
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Vlora (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. The room in question was that of Jane – of course, this wasn’t the important aspect of why she was in the room… Her mind flashed back to Mr. O’Neill (who wasn’t the slightest bit Irish) and his project idea.
  
  

SFMB: Catching up with the other versions....

• Apocalyptic Daria: Brave New World, by Doggieboy (Part 8)
• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 3)