Monday, October 20, 2008

Spot the Future Conservative!

Okay, so long as it is Daria fan Michelle Malkin's birthday, let's play a game: Spot the Future Conservative. Name the Daria cast member (under the age of 20) that you think is most likely to become a political conservative in the future. You must offer in-canon evidence to support your choice.

To start off, I pick Jodie Abigail Landon. She's intensely interested in business and politics, and her wealthy and inventive father has expressed views (in "Gifted," particularly, in mentioning "welfare cheats") that strike one as conservative. That alter ego of her at the end of Is It College Yet? that shows her as a successful businesswoman tips the scale. She might have some liberal social views as an adult, but I think she'll be a Republican by age 30.

Your turn! (I have to do something while I'm home sick. You may as well play along, too.)

  • Blood, Sweat, and Cheers, by Kristen Bealer (Part 7): "Daria? Are you doing anything this Saturday?" [Hang on, here it comes.]
  • Origins of the Ringbearers: Pandora, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): “What the hell happened to my scout?” Valkyrie asked, glaring across Mike Mackenzie’s bed at the attending physician.


Dennis said...

Jodie's definitely a good guess, although she might totally rebel once she's free of Andrew and Michelle, in which case she'd probably be a social worker or something.

Sandi and Stacy might also be protoconservatives. I could see Sandi going into business and becoming conservative as she gets successful. I can also see her marrying into the country club set and becoming very classist conservative.

Stacy, I think, will have whatever political beliefs her husband has, so if she marries a conservative, she'll be a conservative.

Anonymous said...

BG here. Jodie's actually the LAST person that I'd think of in that vein; as soon as she gets away from home and from beneath her parents' thumbs (certainly, once she graduates from college) she's SO going to distance herself from everything that her parents forced down her throat. (If for no other reason than that it certainly never made her happy. Yes, she has options in her life because of such, but I don't think I've ever seen her really happy. Maybe at the end of both IIFY? and IICY?, when she had a little date with Mack, and when she was allowed to go to Turner instead of Crestmore.) Jodie's going to be the lesbian version of Oprah - powerful, influential, wealthier than the Sultan of Brunei, and openly having a fusion-hot relationship with supermodel Anastasia Rowe. (Wait for the Rolling Stove interview with the two of them, and the cover photograph - someday to be considered one of the Top Ten Rolling Stone covers of all time, and made into a poster as iconic for the Millennial generation as the Farrah poster was for those growing up in the 1970's. :-)

Charles? There's a conservative for you. (Guys, really - politics aside, the majority of the hot chicks are either conservatives or marry into the mindset. Besides -if you're a conservative, it's okay to enjoy having money and spending it on nice things. If you're a wealthy liberal, you have to spend time feeling guilty about having the green. That's SO Helen, if they had real cash.)

Tiffany, certainly. Same with the Gupty kids - but thanks to the teachings of a certain auburn-haired cynic, they've already taken the antidote for the Kool-aid. They know its all BS, but ride along with the conservatives just for the mondo cook swag.

The Angst Guy said...

I was going to add that Jodie's choice of Turner over Crestmore could be regarded as conservative, as it fits in with a traditional values system. And as soon as Jodie hits college, Mack is history. With any luck, he'll smell the coffee and wake up long beforehand.

The Angst Guy said...

And Tom Sloane is going to be a rich liberal. I just know it. He'll get that from his mother, the "support the arts" person. Also look at his views in "Prize Fighters" about corporations and minorities.

Anonymous said...

BG back again. Really? I always thought going to Crestmore was the conservative choice, and Turner's a traditionally Black college. Jodie would get more street cred going to Crestmore, and by going to Turner, wouldn't the conservatives always wonder if she's 'one of those Black radicals?'

The Angst Guy said...

I'm a political moron, so you are probably right. I still thought she could justify it by saying it was family tradition, since her grandmother went. She always struck me as one for doing things the way they're supposed to be done, not any kind of "maverick."

Sandi Griffin I could see as a conservative, though not a nice one. She likes the status quo, so long as she's on top.

The Angst Guy said...

Tiffany I can't see being any political party at all.

MMan said...

Tiffany I can't see being any political party at all.

Doeees Baraaack Obamaaa maaake meee loooook faaaaat?

The Angst Guy said...

I think Upchuck will be as conservative as Hugh Hefner. He's just gotta party!

cincgold said...

Daria: probably an active non-voter. Daria doesn't think much of authority or structures, and Daria was never a "lesser of two evils" kind of person. Don't ask her about politics unless you all of your cherished beliefs shattered.

Jane: more than likely, a passive non-voter. Politics don't interest her. Definitely Category X, her philosophy will be a mismash of views, not necessarily coherent but definitely suited to her viewpoint. If you talk politics with Jane, she'll find an excuse to be somewhere else.

Quinn: the ultimate undecided. Goes entirely on surface appearances.

Sandi: "right-wing authoritarian". A firm believer in rules and structure, with her meting out punishment as needed.

Stacy: however she votes, she'll be angry. She'll fall in love with the candidate, who will betray her, and then she'll post angry screeds on her blog until the next candidate comes along. Will change parties several times.

Tiffany: whichever candidate can promise Tiffany the most is the one she'll vote for.

Josie: Full fledged liberal. She's of the "social manager" type of liberal, the one that believes that THEY KNOW BEST FOR EVERYONE. Furthermore, being a liberal helps her get back at her conservative father.

Mack: A nice, honorable guy. Probably conservative, although votes Democrat because his family has voted Democrat all their lives.

Brittany: Believes every campaign promise. Will probably vote at the last minute, if she remembers to show up at the voting booth.

Kevin: Will vote for any candidate who seems to be in the lead on Election Day. No way he's gonna vote for a loser, bro.

Upchuck: Social liberal, fiscal conservative. Will vote for whichever party seems to have the hottest babes working at the local political office, too self-conscious to vote Libertarian.

Raven Nightshade said...

Sandi Griffin is going to be the next Ann Coulter. I just know it.

Jodie's a Democrat. I also believe her parents are Democrats. I say this because I've met people like her parents. They're conservative on several issues, but won't vote Republican because the GOP "has never done anything for them." They will, however, tell their conservative friends that they did vote Republican when they didn't.

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I'm going with Wind Lane. What popped into my head was him publicly talking about how his liberal upbringing ruined his life for many years, and the loose morals fostered by liberal politics led to broken homes everywhere. He'll have the standard stock answers for why he's a conservative, too, but he'll be less sure there and not really care.

But the REAL reason is because he wants to please his Republican dominatrix wife that he enjoys submitting to. And while she'd be considered deviant by many conservatives, she considers her social image and so keeps her bedroom secrets well...and demands that Wind does, too, as well as promoting the image of a good conservative family.

His wife, dressed all prim & proper, while serving the cookies Wind made but she took credit for, would tell other conservatives, "He used to be a liberal, but after he got tired of his life being messed up, he wised up and become someone worth marrying." She'd make sure he came off as confidant & responsible,too, at least until she made him wear her panties & a gag that night as she went to get her belt & dildo out (can I say dildo here?) to use on him.

Hey, I'm just saying what popped into my head. And my mind may be sick, but at least it doesn't keep me stuck at home. ;-)

The Angst Guy said...

Thank you. I need to wash my brain out now.

Ranchoth said...

Of course, we have to remember that a lot can change in politics in the future. Having what we would call "liberal social views" *now* might be considered quaintly straight-laced in a couple of decades...while what might be considered "liberal" in the future might be so far fetched, to our point of view, that only the most wild-eyed radical activist of our time would get behind it.