Saturday, August 30, 2014

A Monstrous Birthday Celebration

Jane hopes everyone is having a great Frankenstein Day, a holiday that takes place today because it's also the anniversary of author Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's birth in 1797. She started writing her most famous work, Frankenstein: or, The Modern Prometheus, at 18. No Musings rejection letters for her!

The Angst Guy also used the story as a theme in his fanfics "Darius" and "A Hard Days' Night."

Fandom News!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

War and Peace 2: Electric Boogaloo

Daria's wishing Leo Tolstoy a happy (or not, since it's Tolstoy) birthday, as the late Russian author was born on this day in 1828. Amy's probably also interested, since she apparently spent a lot of time reading "weird Russian novels" in her room while growing up. And remember, Tolstoy only made War and Peace so unpleasant so that no one would pester him for a sequel.

Fanfic Update!
  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (parts 15 - 17): "'Daria, can you tell me the biggest threat for the newborn mages?'" (Part 16) (Part 17)

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 21): "She was still nervous about getting close but she knew she could get close with him. Now it was more about her inexperience and not sure what to expect than fear of getting intimate. Mostly."

  • Daria, Jane, and a new sick sad world, by SpookyZalost (part 5): "Suddenly the room began to drop away behind her forcing her to scramble for the chair in hopes of having something to grab onto, as soon as she reached it however the whole room faded into darkness except for the chair which was illuminated by a single solitary light."

  • Election Results (IC: Judge Helen Morgendorffer), by Cap (COMPLETE!): "The vehement bitterness in her daughter's voice took Helen by surprise. Daria dropped less than subtle hints to her from time to time about sending resumes to firms in other parts of the country but she never guessed at the depth of raw hatred that Daria felt toward Highland."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (part 22): "The evening was not going well for Daria, although in hindsight she couldn't honestly say she had any great hopes for it to begin with."

  • Tales of the Shadow Senshi: Sailor Mars Proves Her Love, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Rei sat in meditation before the sacred fire. It had only been a few days since Minako had joined their ranks and the five of them together had begun to show the world Usagi's love through the powers of the Sailor Senshi."

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (parts 10 - 12): "She expected to uncover some shocking truth about Cassidy's past that would explain her eagerness to help out a total stranger but this didn't explain anything. It was essentially useless." (Part 11) (Part 12)

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (parts 5 - 8): "Harry stood on the dais in a Ministry press room alongside the other starers for the English National Team. He did his best to look interested as Ministry official droned on to members of the press about the team, but it was a lost cause from the jump." (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Watch out for the dog. Watch out, Daria!"

J.B. is letting everyone know that it's National Dog Day, and also asks that you check your peripheral vision while driving. Unless you're trying to work your way up to humans slowly.

This is also Women's Equality Day, which I'd like to think has more to do with the anniversary of the adoption of the 19th Amendment than with dogs. Or at least I hope so.

Fandom News!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

We All Knew Quinn Was a Little Flighty

Quinn's ready to follow in Amelia Earhart's footsteps by flying solo nonstop across the United States, which Earhart became the first woman to do on this day in 1932. I think Quinn would rather not follow in Earhart's fashion footsteps, though. I mean, look at what those pants do to her thighs! Ewww!

As today is also Waffle Day, Jake would like to remind everyone to check the expiration date on any frozen waffles you may have in the house. You wouldn't want to develop a mild stomachache, would you?

Fanfic Update!
  • Card Games, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "In hindsight the beautiful, noble and above all intelligent young woman was not too proud to admit that she had made a mistake in responding to the goading of that old shrew of a psychologist deliberately getting her name wrong three times, by mocking the late middle-aged woman's poor attempt at administering a thematic perception test by using only one card and the same card that she had just used on the girl's pretty and popular, but shallow younger sister, to boot."

  • Foot Fighters (Iron Chef: Bootless Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Jane waited by the door, hoping that Daria would finally give up. Six days had passed. Six miserable days. She crossed her fingers and chanted out 'Please oh please oh please...' But then she heard a knock on the door."

  • The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 25): "The Doctor was resting, he had not been to the Eye of Orion since before the Time War. He did not understand why he had never taken Rose to see it. He grew sad at the thought of her name, even after the many (months? Years?" He knew that the TARDIS kept track somehow)

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 3): "Daria had a difficult time getting up Monday morning, she kept telling herself that Highland was a big school so avoiding him should be easy… on top of that she didn't really want to see anyone she just wanted to stay curled up in her room."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 1): "'Hello, Ms. Li, Principal of Laaaaaawndale High School speaking.' she had the inflections memorised at this point. 'My son just told me that he was strangled by a teacher!' said an angry, feminine voice,"

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (parts 9 and 10): "It took everything in Sandi's power not to let out a gleeful chuckle. Quinn's cousin or whatever wasn't as awful as she looked. The things she told Sandi would provide excellent blackmail material for the rest of the year." (Part 10)

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (parts 1 and 2): "Hello and congratulations on choosing our new flagship project: * * * Realms of Altherra Version 5.1. * * *" (Part 2)

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (parts 8 and 9): "Cassidy Hemming was seated on the far left of the cafeteria in prime stakeout location. She was paying more attention to the center of the room than her slowly cooling bowl of tomato soup." (Part 9)

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by-sam (parts 1 - 4): "Today was a good day to be Harry Potter. Of course most days for the Tutshill Tornado's star Seeker were. It was easy to have good days when you're rich, famous, and consistently voted the most eligible bachelor in the country." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Friday, August 22, 2014

"They should be safe at home and warm and by the fire instead of warming up to sing in that heavenly choir!"

Today might be Be An Angel Day, but I don't know who Daria and Jane think they're trying to fool. I suppose as long as they don't grope anyone, it'll be fine. While Daria and Jane go dance on the head of a pin, why don't the rest of us read Mike Xeno's excellent guardian angel fanfic "Guardian"?

One of Daria's role models, Dorothy Parker, was born on this day in 1893. Or at least, considering the similarities between the two in sharp wit and dark humor, I wouldn't be surprised if she was one of her role models.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

"Are you ready to par-tay crazy?"

Spatula Man (or is that Bing? Does anyone care?) wants everyone to know that today is National Radio Day, and also wants to know if anyone would like a free T-shirt. No? Then how about hours of nonstop radio DJ chatter that will drive you completely insane?

Radio fans might enjoy "Radio Free Lawndale," a fanfic written by Ken Tremberth and Erin Mills. SPreeeeeeeechreeeeeech!

Fanfic Update!
  • Abattoir Blues (2)- The Killing Moon, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "'Well, well, this is a nice surprise. How've ya been doin', Jane?' Oh shit, it's Al. Ever since Anthony spilled the beans that Al's boss wants me for a big job, I've been walking on egg shells waiting for this call."

  • Daria, Jane, and a new sick sad world, by SpookyZalost (part 4): "Jane was worried, it had been over a month since she and Daria had encountered the entity, and it was apparent that she had been tricked and she was angry that so far she hadn't found it yet."

  • Doctor Who: A New Beginning: A Crashing Time, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Clara Oswald didn't know what to think. The Doctor had regenerated, and then the TARDIS was crashing into something (into what, the Doctor hadn't answered) and then had asked her if she knew how to fly it."

  • Happy Ever After, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "If anyone had told the teenage Daria that not only would she attend her ten year High School reunion party, but she would actually be looking forward to it, she would not have believed it for a moment and yet here she was."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 2): "It was past midnight when a very tired Sargent Jack Kain of the Texas Rangers was on his way home after a double shift."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (parts 19 - 21): "Kevin smiled broadly and put one hand up in the air. 'Congrats, man; you made it! The Lawndale Lions! We are going to own the championship this year!'" (Part 20) (Part 21)

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (parts 7 and 8): "Tonight, she was nervous and it was all because of Daria. Quinn was used to competing with other girls. She'd been doing it since she was young. But competing with Daria wasn't the same." (Part 8)

  • Riding On The Wind (Iron Chef: Bootless Daria), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'Lawndale High takes home the State Championships for the third year in a row!' The applause that erupted from the bleachers was almost enough to brighten Quinn's mood. Almost."

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (part 7): "Quinn was secretly glad to be rid of them. While it was nice to have cute guys fawning over her at first, their devotion became sickening fast. Couldn't they have their own opinions? It really was true, guys were more immature."

Monday, August 18, 2014

Ask Trent if You Want to Borrow His Rhyming Dictionary

Channel your inner Vogon today because it's Bad Poetry Day! Andrea challenges everyone to beat her "rotting bag of flesh" masterpiece, but I don't think she should get too confident. I see Quinn gearing up for a dramatic reading of "The Greasy Fry."

Speaking of things that make (some) people groan, it was 15 years ago today that we all got to meet Tom Sloane in his debut on the episode "Jane's Addition." Daria was less than pleased, and a lot of fans weren't too happy about it, either. And that was before The Kiss even happened!

Fandom News!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Come With Me If You Want to Party

Jake is here to tell us that today is director James Cameron's birthday! Cameron's first hit movie was The Terminator, which is where Jake's alter ego comes from. Now that he's properly equipped for the job, Jake is also going to take care of that squirrel problem once and for all.

Fanfic Update!
  • ...and I can take or leave it if I please..., by peetz5050 (part 1): "Helen turned the radio back to a reasonable volume and attempted to match it with her tone. 'Look Kiddo.' She began, not noticing Daria's wince at the soubriquet. 'I know it's not as easy for you to fit in as some people...'"

  • Cultural Appreciation (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin: ''Eeeyy, Mista DeMartino! Don gracias yah?' (Kevin wearing an oversized moustache and is gesturing with his thumb and index finger) Mr. DeMartino: (growls in irritation) '...Is it WORTH asking what's WRONG with you at this point?'"

  • En el Baile, by SheiAngZuya (COMPLETE!): "Suena la alarma y despierto... uf... es otro estúpido día de escuela pero, ¿Qué hay de nuevo hoy?"

  • Frown at the Dead, by Vick Pena (part 2): "The sound of indistinct chattering outside of Daria's room was what made her wake up. It was early, according to her night bed stand clock but, still, she stood up and walked out in her night gown."

  • Griffin and Flowers Bank (COMPLETE!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Wow Sandi!' Quinn exclaimed at what her old High School friend was showing her, 'This is really your bank?!'"

  • The Invincible Rose, by breitasparrow (deleted scene): "She quietly stepped into the ballroom, lit blue from the full moon outside the windows, and approached the grand piano where Rosalie had fallen asleep alongside the still-awake Jules who was now just playing around with the same few keys."

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 1): "Daria had no desire to attend this party but it was better then planning the yard sale with her mother. They were moving next year and her parents wanted to offload any excess junk before the move with two or so yard sales, one in the fall and at least one in the spring."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (parts 16 - 18): "As he and Mack waded through the end of day rush for the doors, Matt took a moment to savour the sense of freedom that came with it. There was a gratifying sense of community there too." (Part 17) (Part 18)

  • Quiet Observations (IC: Cassandra), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was the start of sophomore year at Highland High School, and there was an absence that no one had openly acknowledged."

  • Quinn's Code 10: Blue Screen of Sherman, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn?' Cindy asked when she opened the door. 'You want to talk about ... ?' Quinn asked, before trailing off. 'Sure,' Cindy said, with slight hesitation."

  • Quinn's Code 11: The Geek Hunter, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'They're paintballs, not bullets,' Cindy said. She turned to Quinn. 'There are some FPS tactics we can use...'"

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "All Quinn could think about on her walk to school was how much damage Daria was doing to her reputation. It was bad enough having a brain for an older sister but this was crossing over into entirely new territory."

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Caption Contests Make Me Weepy!

Explain this scene--if you can--by captioning it in the comments!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Jake Conducts a Thought Experiment with the Neighbors' Cat

Jake and Mr. Whiskers are both wishing Erwin Schrödinger a happy birthday, as the late physicist was born on this day in 1887. Mr. Whiskers is especially glad to be getting out of that box alive.

This is also International Youth Day, but Daria's not going to be celebrating that one. "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid."

Fandom News!

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Toast 'Em Up!

Daria invites everyone to join her around the campfire for National S'mores Day, although the story she's telling might ruin your appetite. Not me, though. Bring on the chocolatey goodness!

Fanfic Update!
  • Abattoir Blues (2)- The Killing Moon, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "'You don't have to hide anything from me, Jane. Whatever's on your mind, you can tell me, you know that right?' I know, but there's some shit he doesn't need to know. Why ruin a beautiful friendship with all that kind of stuff?"

  • ASPS 2, by PrecambrianStudios (part 20): "'What the hell are you doing?' barked Carlton Daniels. Sitting at her usual spot in the journalism classroom, Zoey flinched at the crack of his voice and looked up from her computer in fright, her hands flying away from the keyboard. 'N-nothing,' she squeaked."

  • The Claws of the Cat (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Stacy took one last look at her costume. It was great! It looked just like the Catwoman costume from Batman: The Animated Series. It would be the hit of Lawndale-Comic-Con!"

  • Crashteemster (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by malakite (part 3): "It was now much later,Daria thought, though she wasn't sure. She'd fallen asleep again after more doctors had come."

  • Daria?! (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn... There is someone at the door for you.' Quinn reluctantly put the book down, and exited the room, and headed down the stairs. She paused at the front door, took a deep breath, and opened it."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 20): "She sits in a chair watching her clothes go around and around in the dryer. 'I need to talk to some one.' She rubs her arms as she tries and stay calm. 'Not Jane. Or Mary. Some one miles away. Some one who can't tell any one else.'"

  • Echoes, by ognawk (part 1): "Ashley Winters was lying front down on his bed. His face was propped up with one hand while he idly flicked through a Fielding course catalogue with the other, deciding what he was going to study for his senior year at the school."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer slumped on the back seat of the car feeling awkward in her unfamiliar clothes as she tried to tune out her father Jake's well intentioned words of encouragement. Her current predicament had begun a week ago back in her old home town of Highland, Texas..."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 10): "Checking the clock Daria noticed Tom should be home any minute, so she set to work preparing a special dinner for just the two of them."

  • One by One (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "'All right, Daria, don't start your turn till your front wheels are past the corner. That's it. Now, accelerate as you start to straighten... good. Watch out for the.. Daria!' That was the last thing Helen remembered hearing."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (parts 2 - 4): "Jane chewed on the end of her pencil while the remains of her previous artistic attempts laid scattered all over the table. She only took Art 1 because Jace claimed it was an easy A." (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Unnamed story (All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread - Three's Company), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "It's pretty interesting. You wouldn't think that oblivion would be so soothing, so delightful. But it was. At least, to her."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Daria,' said Jeffy. It was the Monday after him and Tom had come over to her house for dinner. 'Yes?' she replied. 'Well...I...I'm sorry to bother you, but I...' Daria could only sigh."

Friday, August 8, 2014

Jodie Dives Into Yet Another Extracurricular

Jodie's adding yet another activity to her transcript by emulating Esther Williams, who was born on this day in 1921. I don't care how committed Jodie is to the swim team; I seriously doubt she's going to match Williams' record-breaking swimming skills.

On this day in 2011, Racked posted the article "Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret." We got to see Daria's latest fashion statement, which I'm sure had Quinn screaming in agony.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


Today marks the anniversary of the first use of the electric chair in 1890, and Helen and Jake are getting in on the fun. Although it was only in Daria's dream that Ms. Li claimed to have an electric chair with Daria's height specifications, somehow I wouldn't put it past the woman to consider the idea in real life.

On a lighter note, this is also National Root Beer Float Day, so let's all join Jake in enjoying one in a frosty cold mug! Just don't run off and leave your hospitalized daughter alone while you go get it, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria in the Ring, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "He had obviously gotten up before her. No surprise there. But what was this her sense of smell was detecting? Pancakes? Then she started hearing the 'whoosh' of the little espresso maker. The thought came into her mind, 'Hmmm. This may be worth getting up for.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)

  • Daria, Jane, and a new sick sad world, by SpookyZalost (part 3): "It was now just after the new year, Jane was no closer to finding the place she had seen in that strange dream, but there were parts of the net closed even to her with the VR device she had been using more and more frequently now."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 11): "Tom was siting around the house feeling useless. He'd been doing his best to try and keep her spirits up but the looming threat of Dean Julian's release and possible custody suite was crushing her spirit."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (parts 13 - 15): "'Jane? Can you tell me how to do this?' 'Gee, Brittany, I'd love to, but I have to finish this and show that smug Morgendorffer what I think of him!'" (Part 14) (Part 15)

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "The last member of the household, fourteen-year old Jane, was battling a series of anxiety induced nightmares. Today marked the start of her high school career and she was less than enthusiastic."

  • The Ted Zon (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Brittany tilted her head and peered more closely at Ted's face. 'You do look kinda familiar,' she said slowly. ' started with a "T," I think...Terry, right?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Serrallonga (COMPLETE!): "Daria stopped herself half a second at the middle of the Lawndale High School main hallway, smelling the trap."

  • Ways that Stacy Makes Money (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe sighed as she flipped through her copy of Runway, there were so many beautiful, fashionable clothes out there, and with the economy in the crapper she couldn't afford to buy things like this."

Monday, August 4, 2014

I Think Daria Had Her Bursts Done

Daria is ready and waiting to dive in and rescue anyone who might be drowning on this fine Coast Guard Day. Unless they interrupt her reading. Or the Sick, Sad World marathon. Or her pizza time with Jane.

On second thought, maybe everyone should just stay in the shallow water for awhile.

Or, since this is also the 15th anniversary of "The Lawndale File," we could just hope atomic communists from Mars step in and rescue the poor soggy victims.

Fandom News!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Well, THAT Didn't Go As Planned

Jane's shocked that it's been 14 years since the episode "Dye! Dye! My Darling" first aired. That was just one of several surprises Jane got in that episode, and not a single one of them was good. Considering how intensely controversial that episode was in fandom, I can safely say she's not the only one who felt that way, either.

Fanfic Update!
  • Alienation, by malakite (part 17): "Daria repressed sighed her way through breakfast, ipoded her way through some minimal physical exercise and wobbled her way through finding the right balance of flirtatiousness and practicality for what she was going to do next."

  • Crashteemsters (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by malakite (part 2): "7000 beeps later she heard squeaky footsteps. She tried to say 'hello?' but what came out was more like a strangled rasp. It seemed her mysterious visitor had heard her though, because he asked 'You're awake?' in an almost startled sounding voice."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 19): "Daria is at Jane's dorm room as they wonder who the roommate will be. 'Maybe she'll be ok. You don't know. Lindsey is a good roommate.' Jane smirks at Daria. 'After all the times you called me to keep you from killing her?'"

  • The Empress Dowager (IC: Daria and No Americas), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the Forbidden Cities' Inner Court, the Emperor and the Empress Dowager were holding the daily Imperial Audience, the various advisers and chancellors were on hand as one of the petitioners, the Ambassador from the vassal state of Maratha was speaking the words of his King."

  • Fleeting Innocence, by Princess-Pasta (part 1): "'It's such a shame, really. She was doing so well. But what can you expect?' 'Helen probably feels responsible. How couldn't she? After all, a girl takes after her mother.'"

  • Open Wide (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Sure,' Leanne responded, as she arrived at the cradle for the phone, 'Listen, I've got to get going. I've got a big Biology project to work on. Speak to you soon, Ashley.'"

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (part 12): "Matt said nothing. He'd said nothing for the entirety of the walk from their home. Of course a little detail like this wasn't going to deter Daria. She was of the frame of mind that silence was further evidence of guilt."

  • The Prussian Girl (IC: Daria and No Americas), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The flickering light of a new word processor made Daria blink for a second before her eyes adjusted to it. She thought about turning on the light before shrugging it off, 'It's not like you can print it off until morning anyway.' she thought to herself."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria and No Americas), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "When Tazi Morgendorffer climbed out of the car, she got everyone's attention. Her hair was done up high, a ponytail falling from a knot tied up high behind her head. She wore a braided choker. Her bracelets added accent to the uniform of a typical English/American schoolgirl."