Saturday, May 30, 2020

Four Score and Seven Goths Ago

Andrea may have a stony expression on her face right now, but only because she's made of actual stone in honor of the anniversary of the Lincoln Memorial, which was dedicated on this day in 1922. While the memorial is pretty impressive, the personification of Lincoln's birthday is not. I mean, what could the guy possibly have against sandals?

Today is also the anniversary of the day that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in 1431. Interestingly, she was executed not for heresy or for helping Jane with an art project, but for dressing in men's clothing. I feel like the Fashion Club would have been okay with the verdict.

Fanfic Update!
  • Blocked (Iron Chef: Change the Location), by sarcasticsponge (COMPLETE!): "'Now girls I understand moving to a new location is going to take some time for you to adjust to your new school' Jake Morgendorffer said to his daughters while driving them to their new school."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 41): "That evening a pleasant atmosphere hovered over the Morgendorffer house. Helen and especially Jake were in a good mood. This is because things were starting to go well in their new jobs."

  • Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 7): "Change. Change is a factor in life that was always happening, everyday no matter how big or small there was change. Whether it be a new day, a new week or a new month, change was something that is always right around the corner."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 39): "Erin was surprised how late it was as she hurried her way through the Friday night crowd. She wondered about food and if the girls would have already eaten and if The Blind Canary had food anyway."

  • Esteem of the Cynic Chick (Iron Chef : Internet Friends), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "‘I have low esteem for everyone else,’ Daria thought as she entered the sanctuary that was her room, repeating what she had told her family down in the kitchen. She went to her computer and opened her email." (Part 2)

  • Is It Show Time Yet?, by Lady Evil (part 2): "Daria sat in the school cafeteria going over Quinn’s letter again. She still wasn’t sure she wanted to share this with her family."

  • Kevin, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Why so glum chum?' 'It’s not right.' 'It’ll blow over-'"

  • Red Letters, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Brittany Taylor was the last person Daria had expected to see at the Scarlet Magazine offices. Well, aside from Kevin."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : Internet Friends), by Roentgen (part 1): "Mack loved being Batman. And he was Batman. On Twitter, anyway."

Thursday, May 28, 2020

How Did She Keep Her Figure After Eight Babies?

Tiffany is not enjoying her stint as mother to what appears to be octuplets, because she's not going to settle for less than the Dionne quintuplets who were born in this day in 1934. She is clearly regretting this decision, and not just because those kids are cutting into her makeup time.

Today is also National Hamburger Day, so you can choose to either eat one or follow Daria's example by sticking it in your boots because you love the squishy, squishy feeling around your toes. Personally, I'd rather eat mine, but you do you.

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "Life in the Past Lane," which aired on this day in 2001. The bad news is we met Nathan, one of the worst assholes of the show. The good news is we got to see Stacy Victorious, which is a pretty rare thing.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Dance, Pilgrim!

Jane is doing an interpretive dance to celebrate the anniversary of dancer Isadora Duncan's birth on this day in 1877. I don't know if dance is one of the artistic pursuits that Jane's interested in, but I do know that outfit isn't going to fly with Ms. Li's dress code policy.

Today is also the anniversary of John Wayne's birth in 1907. Jake will probably be excited about that, given his John Wayne collectable coin collection. It's nearly complete, except for the one that slipped down the sink drain without any provocation.

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 40): "'A viper ?!' Daniel asked. 'Yes. Look, it's a long story, I promise I'll fill you in later but can we go now? Emma is the nicest of the girls but she hates latecomers.' Jodie said."

  • Daria of the Milieu: Chasing Wormtrails, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "The woman’s name was Jillian Ostmann and, just as Daria had suspected, she had been part of the Protectorate, although part of their support staff instead of either being a Cape or a trooper for the PRT."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 28): "'Hello,' Jane spoke into the phone. 'Jane?' Tom’s slightly nervous voice made Jane straighten. 'The one and only.' Her voice betrayed none of her own jitters that she was suddenly feeling."

  • Is It Show Time Yet?, by Lady Evil (part ): "'OK, kids,' Jane said to the art club. 'I think all we can do for this now is to let it dry. We’ll start painting the woodland scene tomorrow. Go clean yourselves up and wait for your parents. I’ll pick up around here.'"

  • sibling convergence (Iron Chef: Unemployed Daria, streamer Quinn), by sarcasticsponge (part 1): "'And that my dears is how you properly apply lip-balm. Don't forget to rate comment and subscribe for more make-up and beauty tips. Quinn the beauty queen signing off.' Quinn spoke while turning off her video camera."

Sunday, May 24, 2020

God Save the...Queen?

I have no idea whose idea it was to make an alter ego of Jake as Queen Victoria, but even Jake seems unhappy about it. In fact, you might say that he is...not amused? Anyway, the long-reigning Queen of England was born on this day in 1819 and assumed the throne at the age of 18.

I can just hear Jodie's parents complaining about their daughter's comparative lack of ambition.

Today is also National Escargot Day, so better put an order in at Chez Pierre now to beat the rush. Unless you want, you know, quality food. Then you should probably go somewhere else.

Fandom News!

Friday, May 22, 2020

Now How Will She Play "Pop Goes the Weasel"?

Looks like Jodie is going to need a new guitar, which is perfect because today is Buy a Musical Instrument Day! You know, Jake still owes Daria a new flute after he backed over the old one. One must, however, question how the flute got to the driveway in the first place....

Today is also World Goth Day. Do you know how Andrea will be celebrating? Ha, trick question: goths don't celebrate phony holidays. Gotcha!

Finally it was on this day in 2007 that the Daria fansite Lawndale Online was started. Sadly, the site is no longer functional, but it had a good run in the meantime.

Fanfic Update!
  • Boxing Helen...Ah...., by Lady Evil (part 6): "Vixx almost envied Sandi. She got to wear a flowy turquoise gown while she was strapped in a mauve, jewel toned cocktail dress and pinching heels."

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 21): "When asked to point to some advantage in being born of the fairer sex, few students in Lawndale High would not immediately point towards Ms. Barch."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 38): "Erin entered the doors of Boston Products, perhaps for the last time. Her head held high and her shoulders square she immediately encountered Alice Wintergrove. The older woman stepped towards Erin even as Erin tried to avoid her."

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Beeeeee a Millionaire!

Andrea's living out one of her fondest dreams for World Bee Day, and I can understand why. I mean, she gets to fly wherever she wants and sting anyone who pisses her off. Who wouldn't love that?

Today is also Be a Millionaire Day, and I would love to celebrate this one. Sooooo...who's going to send me a million dollars?

Finally, today is Pick Strawberries Day, but I don't recommend you try to pick Lawndale's Big Strawberry. Not because it's too heavy (although I assume it is), but because if you take it then what else will Lawndale have to brag about?

Fandom News!

Monday, May 18, 2020

"Is that a...? Could that really be a...? Ewww!"

Daria would love to swing by the Museum of Medical Oddities for International Museum Day, but I assume that it, like most museums right now, is closed. She'll just have to live vicariously through her memories of the sliced man and the salivary gland tumor.

Today is also Visit Your Relatives Day, which I think Helen will happily skip. Because of the quarantine, of course! Yes, that's it! (Whew!)

Fanfic Update!
  • The Balmora Beat, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "It all came down to the uniform. They'd drilled that fact into Maiko's head back when he'd been a raw recruit: anything you did for the Legion had to be in Legion colors."

  • Boxing Helen...Ah...., by Lady Evil (part 5): "'The things I do for love.' Vixx groaned, looking at her reflection. 'I think you look lovely.' Ollie said, lounging on the bed."

  • Daria of Morsang-sur-Orge, by Rémi (part 27): "Watching the tournament wasn’t a very interesting experience for Daria : her poor eyesight only let her distinguish a meaningless confusion. However, Quentine diligently commented the event to her, so at least she was able to understand what was happening."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 32): "September eased into October. The effects were more noticeable: unlike Daria’s part of Texas, the change from summer into autumn was no masquerade: the weather was definitely cooler. So this is what a real autumn is like, she thought."

  • Heathers, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "'What a splendid bunch.' Synda Grilvayn kept her eyes downcast as Serjo Nevena Ules glided past her and the other Dunmer girls."

  • White, White, everywhere (Iron Chef: Change the Location), by JPAGC (part 1): "Among the stillness of the never-ending snow, the sleight run smoothly over the almost empty plane. The quick breathing and barking of the sleigh dogs pulling the vehicle was the only sound."

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Teaching All the Way to the Bank

Mr. DeMartino is doing a stellar impression of Liberace, the piano player born on this day in 1919. I don't know how Mr. D expects to be able to live such a lavish lifestyle on a teacher's salary, but at least he seems happy.

Today is also National Mimosa Day, which Quinn will probably be celebrating. At least, according to "The Teachings of Don Jake," it's one of her preferred drinks. Not that she would drink while underage, of course! Ha.

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 14, 2020

I Have to Pee WHERE?!

Quinn's ready to set off as Sacagawea with Lewis and Clark on their expedition, which began on this day in 1804. Of course, she'll need Lewis and Clark to carry her fifteen suitcases because she can not leave anything behind. You wouldn't want her to go without her cran-raspberry lip gloss, would you?

Fanfic Update!
  • Backseat for No One, by EntrancedCat (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer gave up trying to decide which was worse: having to sit through a full Lawndale High football game or being forced to help clean up afterwards as part of Ms. Li's latest glory-to-Lawndale-High scheme."

  • Boxing Helen...Ah...., by Lady Evil (parts 3 and 4): "'Grandma,' Tom said. 'I would like to introduce my fiancée, Alexandra Griffin. She goes by Sandi for short. Sandi, this is my grandmother, Evelyn Sloane.'" (Part 4)

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 20): "Sitting on her bed and strumming her six-string, Jennifer nodded along to Daria's retelling of the day's events. 'So, he said my photos were reminiscent of Fancisco Goya, and I had to pretend I knew what he was talking about.'"

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Commander's log. Stardate 60835.3. The Baffin is approaching the Tanarexa system, where we shall follow up on earlier surveys.'"

  • A wish granted, by sarcasticsponge (part 3): "The golden doors slowly opens all the way as Daria makes her way through them and observes the room before her."

  • The Worst Years of Our Lives, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria didn't think that the Nordic couple lounging outside of the Morgendorffer home looked like the kinds of clients mom usually got. Or dad either, for that matter."

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

An Important Date...I Assume?

Today is May 12th, which sharp-eyed Daria fans will recognize as the date that the Morgendorffer calendar always seems to be turned to for some reason. I'm guessing it was one of the animators' birthdays or something. Unless the cast of the show was secretly living in some kind of Groundhog Day-type time loop? You never know.

This is also International Nurses Day, so make sure you stop by and wish Nurse Chase a good day. Or just show her that weird rash.

Fandom News!

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Whoa, Mama!

Helen's taking a stroll down cliche road for Mother's Day, but I guess it's good that she's spending the day at home. Hopefully Jake will remember what day it is, Quinn will hand her a card on her way out for a date, and Daria will poke her head out of her room long enough to wish her well. After all, in addition to being a mother Helen also has to brace herself and call her own mother, and I don't wish that horror on anyone.

I'm sure Helen is hoping that the rest of the family will help her out by celebrating Clean up Your Room Day, which means Daria might finally have to do battle with the dust bunnies under her bed.

Fanfic Update!
  • Boxing Helen...Ah...., by Lady Evil (parts 1 and 2): "It was morning and Helen was on the phone while two workmen from Karl's Kitchens were putting in a new refrigerator." (Part 2)

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 40): "Daniel woke up happy that Wednesday. In the afternoon, he would take part in his first weekly school newspaper meeting."

  • Daria of Morsang-sur-Orge, by Rémi (parts 25 and 26): "The gardens of the Palace weren’t very different from those of other powerful lords : it was only bigger. Like most other lordly gardens, it was both beautiful and useful : medicinal herbs grew apart from the flower beds." (Part 26)

  • Daria of the Milieu: Chasing Wormtrails, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "OK, they’ve got it, Daria said to herself. She felt a flash of resentment at Reverend Allworthy for scooping the Oakleys out from under her."

  • Nauseating Prize, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'Hello?' Mrs. Barksdale said when she answered the phone. 'Alright, Mother, where is Quinn?' Helen cut right to it. 'Where is my daughter?'" (Part 6)

  • A Slice of Life, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Why are you doing this?' Her question halted him at the door."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The blue cart moved along the village trail. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realise it’s not easy moving to a whole new island, especially for you, Daria, right?'"

  • What Blew in at the Zon (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "She had gone to the Zon with Jane to see Trent play, she hadn't expected to be ditched because her friend met some guy and ran off for cheap diner food."

Friday, May 8, 2020

The Right to Bare Feet

Looks like Daria has completely missed the point of No Socks Day, but can you really say that you're surprised? I mean, it wouldn't be Daria if she wasn't bucking a trend, no matter how insignificant.

Today is also V-E Day, after which date no school supplies were created for Mr. DeMartino's classroom. Unless Mr. D. was exaggerating, but that could never be the case!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Mmmm...Unspecified Beverages....

Daria's enjoying National Beverage Day, but can't make up her mind which beverage to consume. Seriously, if you haven't noticed it before, check out the scene from "Monster" that this screenshot was taken from. She starts out holding a mug, but it later turns into a glass. Unknown magic powers or animating mistake? You make the call!

This is also International No Diet Day, so tell the Fashion Club to have an extra helping of the no-salt, no-oil, fat-free popcorn. Daria and Jane...will alter none of their current eating habits.

Fanfic Update!
  • Backseat for No One, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "'Oh Brittany,' Angie enthused as the two between-classes Lawndale High cheerleaders transferred books from locker to backpack and backpack to locker. 'That new kitty-cat backpack Kevin got you is so, so adorable.'"

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 38): "Once the lessons were over, Daniel made his way to the school exit. As always, his sister was there waiting for him. Yet strangely, an angry expression was on her face."

  • Daria of Morsang-sur-Orge, by Rémi (parts 22 - 24): "Roland (perplexed) : The House of Hautefeuille ? Daria had joined the knight and his friends in front of the famous chapel of Aix, after the ending of the morning mass." (Part 23) (Part 24)

  • Masked (Atiya's Trash Thread), by atiyatortilla (part 1): "The idle chatter of dinner guests did nothing to distract Tom from his own clamoring thoughts."

  • Nauseating Prize, by Lady Evil (parts 3 and 4): "'No way, José!' said Pedro as he rung out the mop he was using to clean Tom’s bathroom." (Part 4)

  • The Purification (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "She had seen such sights before. Many, many times before."

Monday, May 4, 2020

May the Fire be With You

Trent's on duty for International Firefighters Day, but I wouldn't count on him to put out many fires. Even if he stayed awake long enough to help, he'd probably get distracted trying to think of a good rhyme for "flame." Then again, he may have gotten some practice at home. After all, that "not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces" rule must have come from somewhere. On another note, am I the only one who sees a resemblance between Trent and this cake?

Today is also Star Wars Day (get it? May the Fourth?), and if you want some Daria/Star Wars crossovers then you could start with's Star Wars and Daria Crossovers page.

Fandom News!

Saturday, May 2, 2020

"Goo Goo!" Must Mean Something Terrible in Baby

I don't think Quinn's youngest child is enjoying Baby Day, but don't tell me you'd feel any differently if you had to put up with Jake as a grandfather. I'm sure this is one of Sandi's favorite holidays, though, considering how (inexplicably) fond she seems to be of babies: "They're so cute when they smile at you. 'Hello, precious!'"

It was also on this day in 1863 that Stonewall Jackson was shot by his own men. Supposedly it was by accident, but we can't rule out the possibility that johnnycakes were involved.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria of Morsang-sur-Orge, by Rémi (parts 19 - 21): "Daria : Excuse me. I heard you talking about Saxons in the woods. Jeanne and Trente looked with surprise at the lady who was approaching them and the guards." (Part 20) (Part 21)

  • The History Girls, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "At least Instructor Dimartani wasn't boring."