Forever Upchuck

Today is the birthday of the Voice of Upchuck: Geoffrey Arend. Rrrowrrr! He also voiced a number of minor characters, some of whom might surprise you. (Check the link.)

Two days ago on Thursday, it was the eighth sappy anniversary of the premiere of "Sappy Anniversary," from the fifth and last season of Daria. I wonder how else that episode could have turned out. Jake could have been kept on by Buzzdome Dot Com, Daria could have continued waiting for Tom to remember their six-month anniversary until she snapped and ran over him with her mother's SUV, UFOs could have landed, anything could have happened.

This is about the time of year that a story by Dennis takes place. Try to guess it before you click this link.

More soon. Gotta get stuff done here.

BACK! Undefinedlust posted two questions for Daria fandom: Which unfinished fanfic do you most want to see finished? & In whose world do you most want to play (i.e., write more stories about)? Read and respond!

Latest additions to DariaWiki: Cradle, by Brother Grimace, and Fife in the Fast Lane, by Disco316. Both Brother Grimace and Disco316, plus Dennis, DocForbin, Ranchoth, Doggieboy, and Drmike have given DariaWiki a good going-over. Thank you! More help is needed, if anyone else has time.


FF.net

• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax (Part 6): They were at the PayDay, picking up a few items in bulk. Daria held a jumbo can of lighter fluid in one hand already, while Jane had a five-pound can of coffee. (The Lane household was running low on the stuff—she had no intention of battling vampires with it.)

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• Acts of Cupidity, by Disco316 (Part 4): “She drank his wine, he drank in her beauty, and then they drank each other’s blood! Love, Transylvanian Style, next on Sick Sad World!”
• All in the Family...Guy, by peapotmaster (Part 2): "Life’s a bitch, and so am I."
• Hearts, by UU (Part 1): "Sorry for waking you up and dragging you out of the house, but I needed company today," said Jane, mystery in her voice. (Story has been CONTINUED!)
• John Lane 39: Leaving Summer (Part 1): "Good one, Morgendorffer," she said, sounding very much like her mother. "You're the dating expert; why didn't you see that coming?"
• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 6): Dangerously close to a Daria/Kevin 'shipper, here. Wait! Look out! AAAAAAAAHHH!!!! You mentioned Brittany and Kentucky in the same sentence! AAAAAAAAHH!!
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): "What do you think we should do?" Ted said, not needing to elaborate. They both knew what he was talking about.
  

Look! Bikinis!

This is an image of a bikini kiosk in a mall, probably the Lawndale Mall, taken from an old version of MTV's Daria website. It is here to show that I have not forgotten the thing about Helen's boobs, but Real Life is dictating different issues at the moment. Plus, I wasn't able to post earlier today and thought the bikini kiosk, beloved of Upchuck, would bring the forgiveness of the readers.

If not, tough.

More this weekend.

World of Crunch Lunch Nuts. Munch the nutty nutty?

Hey, everybody! It's February 26th, and you know what that means!

What do you mean, you have no idea? Come on, it's National Pistachio Day!

I'll bet Daria celebrates National Pistachio Day, because Quinn is allergic to pistachio dye and, hey, who could pass up that opportunity? However, the holiday was most likely created by Jake's nemeses, the squirrels. National Pistachio Day is an obvious ploy to increase their nut rations and allow them to stockpile for times of war against He Who Drives the Lexus of Doom.

But never mind that. Go celebrate by munching a bunch of your nutty friend's lunch. Be sure to share with Quinn, too!

Partner Acquisition

Jodie finds herself in Robo-Brittany's visual crosshairs when a school project is due and a new partner is needed, in "Partner's Complaint," the first fourth-season episode. It premiered nine years ago today. Daria sure is a touchy one in this story, isn't she? Not nice at all.

I seem to recall (perhaps wrongly) that the pseudo-RoboCop scene inspired a story in which Brittany is a robot, but I forgot everything else about it. Oh, well.

The episode had a curious effect on one Daria fan, Daniel Suni, who wrote the following story after watching "Partner's Complaint." It was his last fanfic, I believe. I've heard that fans came and went throughout the seasons, sometimes directly as a result of a particular episode. Anyone have a story about that, a personal experience or remembrance of an episode that ended a fan's fixation?

Latest DariaWiki page: Heartbeat in Iambic, by Dennis. (Great story, too.)


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• Acts of Cupidity, by Disco316 (Part 3): Quinn Morgendorffer walked down the stairs, dressed to the nines. She greeted each of the boys before her. “Hi Joey, Jeffy, Jermaine.” Jamie White frowned. “It’s Jamie!”

Focus, People, Focus!

The blurry image at left is how Daria sees herself without glasses. It reminds us that "Through a Lens Darkly," the first episode of Daria's third season, aired ten years ago tonight.

It was probably about this time of year that the episode "Lane Miserables" took place, because Jake Morgendorffer mentions that the comic strip "B.C." is about Ash Wednesday (which today is). Thanks to Malevolent Turtle for pointing that out.

More to come. Must sleep first.

LATER: Awake now. Father Martin wants suggestions for a new song list for Daria episodes. Go and help him out. Interesting ideas there.

FF.net is giving some users fits. This also seems to be true for Lawndale Online. What up?

Want some weird reading? Check out Scenes that Should Be: Brains for Rent, or Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have-Who's Holding Daria Now? or Iron Chef: Daria is Raven's Apprentice (a Daria/Teen Titans crossover thread). Great stuff!


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• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Dawn knew that something was up. Zoe's loyalty had been in doubt from the day she took over, and now Lisa's was too. She was fairly sure she'd seen Lisa talking to Sandi Griffin and Stacy Rowe at points during the last couple of days. And if my so-called right hand is talking to the Clubbies, that can only mean trouble. [Now continued in a new thread, with backstory!]
  

Ouch! Those paintball thingies hurt!

"The Daria Hunter" premiered eleven years ago today. How many different ways could that class trip have turned out differently? One or more of the participants could have disappeared mysteriously. Daria and Jane come to mind, wandering away like they did. But what else? What alternate universes could have sprung from this episode? All I remember is that Brittany turned out to be Super Merc.

Part of this story takes place seven years ago today. Can you guess what it is before clicking the link? Moar l8r!

A Day We Can Really Celebrate!

The first book printed with movable type, the Gutenberg Bible, began publication on this day 554 years ago in Mainz, Germany. It began the mass publication of books, which ultimately led to the publication of The Daria Diaries and The Daria Database, which we celebrate today.

We will return to the mammaristics issue soon, but had to announce the above first. Books before boobs.


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• All in the Family...Guy, by Peapotmaster (Part 1): "When a guest star appears on a popular show, canned applause is used to cheer for the guest star," said Daria.
  
• Tales of the Ringbearers—Bad Apple: Unwanted Visitors, by Doggieboy (Part 1): “Remember what the lieutenant told us. We take nothing, We damage nothing. We kill no pets or leave no calling cards. All we do is hide the stuff and leave the place as clean as we find it.”
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): As the bell rang and O'Neill's inane babble finally stopped, she stood and gathered her things, knowing that what she was about to do was cold comfort for her, and most likely for Brooke, too. But it's the right thing to do.
  

Breasts We Don't Ever Want to Think About

Anyone who has ever studied, and I mean really closely studied cartoon breasts knows that there are certain limits beyond which the sane mind will never go. In the interests of furthering the cause of science, we present two such examples here. Do not stare at them for too long! You will not go blind, but you will wish you had. Or maybe you will go blind, who knows. Just be careful.

The image of Ms. Li, by the way, was inspired by U.S. soccer star Brandi Chastain, who performed a similar victory celebration in 1999 in the Women's World Cup. [Heh heh heh, women's cup, heh heh heh]

Dariaverse.com has updated. Lots of new fanfiction there. If you have some spare fanfiction lying around your hard drive, send it on! Lawndale Online has also been updated with "Calling Calliope," by Dennis. All stories have previously appeared elsewhere, but they're good for the gettin'.

Prince Charon's Iron Chef, Daria is Raven's Apprentice, has gathered a remarkable number of responses, all of them highly amusing.

Disco316, Brother Grimace, Dennis, and BlackHole continue to labor on DariaWiki, with great results. Latest page: Ken Edwards, about whom much more could be said. Why were pedophiles supposed to be funny on that show? This issue has already been talked to death, so no more here. Oh, well.

This is about the time of year that this story takes place. A golden oldie, one of my favorites.

Gene has started a PPMB thread about Nicely Turned Phrases in Daria Fics. Contribute your own favorites.

NEW! On the Backgrounders website, Moe, Tall Goth Girl, and Brown Blouse have been updated. Anyone using them in a fanfic, let me know!

Anyway, now it's time to list some fanfiction that's popped up in the last few days.

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• Acts of Cupidity, by Disco316 (Parts 1 and 2): A response to WacoKid's Iron Chef: Valentine’s Day’s hand slapped around on the clock/radio until it found the snooze button. He rolled over in bed, his head throbbing. He was about to drift back to sleep when the sound of his phone ringing snapped him out of unconsciousness. He grabbed the receiver off his nightstand and thumbed it on. “Mmmmhhhh, hello?”
  
• Knockin' on Heaven's Gate, by HeirOfNorton (Parts 1 and 2): This is a revised version of an older story, "Between the Lives." It picks up from the end of "Esteemsters" and picks up with Joey's point of view, then with Helen's. Good stuff!
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Skylar Feldman was annoyed. Oh, he hid his irritation behind his usual facade of insouciance, striding down the halls of Lawndale High like he owned them and was only deigning to go to homeroom for reasons of his own, but he kept replaying last night in his mind. How dare a nonentity like Jane Lane turn me down. As far as the rest of the school would know, she hadn't, but Skylar was one to brood on insults.
• An Unexpected View, by Paisleygal (Part 1): As she approached the reception desk, a handsome young man came over to greet her. “Ms. Morgendorffer, we’ve been expecting you. Welcome to the MT Towers. My name is Jeffrey, and I am here to help you.”

On A Related Note

Since mammaries are also associated with motherhood (and thus provide a great reason for boob jokes), we can also look at fanfiction that includes Daria as a mother or stories that examine various indentities of her actual mother. I've used the subject in several of my stories, such as "A Mother's Love" (which explains today's graphic), "Accidental Future", "Daria Von Doom" and "Generation Gap".

Other stories include TAG's "Pause in the Air", NightGoblyn's "Heather/Damsel Chronicles", and of course, Greystar's "The Longest Year".

There are plenty of others out there, let's hear from you what your favorites happen to be.

Mammaristics, Ho! (almost)

Real life keeps getting in the way of having fun lately, but here are a couple of images of Helen Morgendorffer to keep you in suspense before we take our amazing journey into the science of mammaristics (measuring the sizes of cartoon boobs).

More later when real life sorts itself out. Maybe someone else can post something here, hint hint.

Science Marches On!

One thing on which I know every Daria fan can agree is that science is at its finest when it involves attempts to measure the size of huge cartoon breasts. This is a challenge worthy of Sir Isaac Newton or any other famous science guy, even Mister Wizard. The greatest challenge of all cartoon-boob-measuring challenges is, of course, the Mount Everests of them all, Helen Morgendorffer (seen at left).

True, there was one person who might possibly have had huger bosoms than Helen, and that would be Miss September from The Daria Diaries (seen at right), but we all agree it would be a close race.

The problem is this: how can concerned scientists like ourselves possibly measure a two-dimensional person for a three-dimensional characteristic like boob size? And the answer is: by using science. This month, what's left of it, we will attempt to solve the crucial conundrum of Helen Morgendorffer's magnificent mammaries using only the finest scientific methods available to humanity. If you have some suggestions of your own for achieving this worthy goal, by all means post them here and we will see if this solves this global crisis. (Get it? Global?)

Stay tuned and hang on. Our journey is bound to get bumpy.

OTHER NEWS: Latest DariaWiki page: USAES!

CINCGREEN, having finished "Data Dump," moves on into new territory!

The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

It was, alas, the first episode of the final season of Daria. "Fizz Ed" aired eight years ago tonight on MTV. Right after IICY? however, the fandom entered Stage Two: Never Say Die.

What puzzles me is that a lot of people don't like "Fizz Ed." I do, very much. It was an excellent way of showcasing Daria's life changes, going from someone who bitches all the time to someone who takes a stand and tries to change things. Her victory over the system was a qualified one, but it greatly benefited her school and her fellow students. It was the old "Daria Triumphant" idea brought to a new level.

The DariaWiki page for this episode needs some tweaking and more discussion, plus pictures. Wanna help?

Anyway, good job, you MTV folks.

Nine years ago today, Kara Wild finished "The Off-Canon Approach," an essay on fanfiction. She has since rethought the issue.

OUTPOST DARIA has updated! Sorry I missed this one before. Got sidetracked.

Father Martin is still tempting couch-potato Daria fans to throw off their chains of lethargy and fly to Hong Kong for a Dariacon. If you yield easily to temptation, by all means read the thread.

DariaWiki has a legion of supporters this week. Cheers go out to João Paulo Costa, BlackHole, Doggieboy, Disco316, Derek, Richard Lobinske, Brother Grimace, and Nighthawk for their superb work. The latest page: Korallrahu. NO! WAIT! It's Happy Herb.

1,159 fans at the Daria Fan Club. Do it to it!

ART NEWS: Go see Wouter's new image of Daria as Avatar. I have no idea who Avatar is, however.

Prince Charon has unleashed Iron Chef: Daria is Raven's Apprentice on PPMB. Daria is naked. Not her fault, though.


FF.net

• Daria and Jane Go to the Moon, by Echopapa (Part 2): Started in 2003, the story now continues! Hooray! To the Moon!
  
• Daria's New Look, by Stevenie Ellis (COMPLETE!): What if Daria examined her own relationship with her sister in the aftermath of Erin's wedding?
• Harry Butt-head, by Deep Metal (Part 2): “I don’t entirely like Butt-head being raised by such a narrow-minded family,” Van Driessen explained. “But this is for the best, mmkay?” [You know you want to read this. Daria is Hermione. Click the liiiiink. Click the liiiiiink....]
  
• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "I kissed your boyfriend," said Alison. "I kissed John. Oh, right, and I kissed you, too."
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax (Part 5): "Now there's a sight you don't see every day," Jane said to Daria. They had entered the library on the off chance that there were any practical books on vampirism, and spotted Sandi Griffin at one of the tables, actually reading a book.
• Long Trek Home, by Ranger Thorne (continued): M’Kell tried to breath as the restraints tried to squeeze the air back out. “God . . . dess,” he managed to hiss.
• While the Bat's Away, by Echopapa (Part 1): The curtains of the darkened Gotham apartment window rustled briefly, marking the entrance of a shadow. After pulling the curtains closed, the shadow quietly crossed the room; a moment later, a lone table lamp was lit, revealing a cat-suited figure.

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• The Cynic and the Defender, by Doggieboy (Part 11): “I consider macaroni in chili to be an aberration,” Robert said.
• The Fall of the Angst Lords, Part 1: Rebels Without a Clue, by Gouka Ryuu (continued): Gouka continued to follow Petrel (who was also CINCGREEN) for nearly half an hour, going down main streets, side streets and alleys, and then doubling back around to make the same trip over again. They had gone in four different cycles around the city since they had left Nick’s Corner. Of course, this was to ensure that they were not being followed.
• The Other (Part 4): Jake Morgendorffer drove his two daughters to the local high school to start their academic year, saving them from the horror of walking the short distance and possibly getting sweaty. (Quinn was very insistent on this point.) They were still two blocks from their destination when Jake decided, against his better judgment, to give his daughters a quick pep talk.
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 37): Her camouflaged beer in hand, Jane returned to the booth, just to find a familiar face occupying the seat opposite to hers. Her toy from the last Saturday was there again. Unsure what to do, Jane kept standing and waited for him to make the first move. (SFMB)
  
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All the King's Men, by Dennis (continued): Daria slipped into the school, heart pounding. Her mind flashed back to the momentous Friday of a couple of months ago. That day she had been a mostly innocent bystander, taken down by the plotting of others. This time she was if not the spinner, then at least at the very center of the web.

New Fanfiction on PPMB (addendum)

We all thought TAG was practically infallible in his thoroughness at keeping track of new fanfiction. But, of course, he's only human, and therefore capable of overlooking one every now and then. I suppose it falls to me, then, to correct this mistake.

It's okay, TAG. We'll forgive you for forgetting.

• The Other, by The Angst Guy (Parts 1 to 3): Will we take possession of our home, or will it take possession of us? Probably both, in that order—if I let it. This one’s going to be different, very different. May as well meet the distinguished opposition if I plan to move in today. Here goes nothing.

Way Back When

Ten years ago this evening, MTV aired a special called "Behind the Scenes with Daria." You can find mention of it in various places, like this one. I've never had the chance to see it and was wondering if anyone else has. This sounds like it would be a great extra to add to a DVD release of Daria. Was anything presented that would be of special interest to us today?

Speaking of DVDaria, no news. Look at how sad Daria is, another year and no DVD. How can they hurt her so? Poor sad Daria.

I figured nothing else has worked till now, may as well try guilt.

More later. Back to fixing Backgrounders and writing fanfiction.


BREAKING NEWS!

Winners of the 2008 Daria Fanworks Awards are out! Written Works Winners & Visual Works Winners are out there! Congratulations to all, and cheers for everyone!

Back Again As Usual

Sorry I missed yesterday. I got back into fanfic writing and sort of let everything else drop. Let's see if I can juggle things a little better this time.

Today is the day, years and years ago, when the TV show McCloud premiered. This is important because Daria dreamed that she was McCloud in the episode, "Murder, She Snored." Yeah, that was pretty trivial, but it's my blog.

Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of the airing of the Daria Day Marathon on MTV. Good times. It was also the day (yesterday was) when the second season of Daria debuted, according to this article. That means yesterday, which I missed, was the 11th anniversary of "Arts 'N Crass." Dang. Well, happy birthday to that episode.

Getting back to today again, this is the 10th anniversary of the musical "Daria!" which has become everyone's third season favorite. Not. Well, it's still great fun finding ways to explain that episode in fanfiction. Also still think that Trike Girl is the cause of all the trouble.

This is about the time of year when "Daria's Tears" took place. Might want to check that one out.

WacoKid created a great new Iron Chef: Late for Valentines Day, or Confused Cupid. This should get some good responses.

Another teaser is out from Brother Grimace for the Legion of Lawndale Heroes series. This one is for Chapter 13.5. Enjoy.

The Urban Dictionary has a definition for "Daria." Interesting.

And.... it's time to get into fanfiction, which will take a while to get together. We'll start slowly.


Other

• Data Dump, by CINCGREEN (COMPLETE!)): Jane looked at Daria. “Hi, kiddo. Long time no see.” She then absorbed the sight of Daria’s expansive house. “How has life been treating you?”

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• Daylight: Visiting Camp Grizzly, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Small streams of smoke rose above the trees ahead as a man carefully made his way long the unpaved road. He carried a bow in one hand and had a modest sized wild pig, already field-dressed, slung over the other shoulder. (A sequel to "Daylight: Recruitment Day.")
  
• LATIFA: In the King's Navy, by SoCalledGoodeGuy (Part 3): “So where’s this **** on a shingle?” asked Jane.
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (continued): “What were you thinking?!” Quinn asked angrily of the three boys standing before her in the kitchen.
  
  

Slow Day

Not much going on here. Some new fanfiction has been posted, however. I'll add more as the day wears on.

Dark Kuno offers a graph to show where he is on his current fanfiction projects.

Latest addition to DariaWiki: Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316.

Kara Wild has some interesting news about the polls for which TV shows should be brought to DVD. If you haven't voted, do so!


FF.net

• Cynic with a Vampire, by Shadow Pumpkinhead, a.k.a. Peapotmaster (Part 3)
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes: Alternate Future, by Psychotol (Part 4)
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax (Part 3): Sandi mentally went over her appearance, to check and see if any of her flesh would be fully exposed to the sunlight.
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All the King's Horses, by Dennis (Thursday in progress)

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• Complications, by Legendeld (Part 2): “Ok, but what about squishy?” Jane Lane said with a teasing tone. Daria groaned slightly before speaking quietly. “There was some squishiness.”
• The Other Side, by Legendeld (Part 8): Jane watched Daria go over the printouts and blinking lights with no little amount of frustration. They had been here two weeks now, and Daria seemed to avoid getting pinned down on the topic of when they would be getting home with expert dodging skills.
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "I'm sorry, Sandi, but I think it best you no longer represent me in scheduling my services. I have other priorities now. After I get back from the center of the galaxy, we'll talk, O.K.?"

Coming Soon!

I have this idea for a recurring feature. It's not ready yet, but it's gonna be great!

Wanna guess what it is?

The Games of Luuuv

Ooo, hawt! Looks like Timothy's about to get his Twister twisted. Time to polish the plastic!

But the hell with that, we have fanfic to announce.

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• Accidents Will Happen, by Undefinedlust (Part 3): "Daria, come back to bed," Jane called.
• Daylight: Reporting from Echo Base, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "As you can see, we built a fort."
• A Mess in Lawndale, by Aloysius (Part 1): A smirk appeared on Daria’s face. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 5): Ryan crept down the stairs at his laundry as quietly as possible (though far from silently) to try to keep from waking the migrants and other workers who lived in the basement. However, as he peaked around the door with his lantern, he was startled to see a hand grab for the lantern. He was even more surprised to see the woman to whom the hand was attached.
• Unnamed story, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Roentgen seems to be putting his fanfics in the wrong category again. This one is great!

More Sparkly Thoughts for Lovers

Kevin has a romantic thought to share, too.

In other news:

Disco316 has kindly listed all the nominations for best Daria Fanworks of 2008 in DariaWiki. Thank you for that!

Speaking of which, VOTE NOW in the runoff poll on PPMB for the best of a four-way tie in the awards.

Speaking of DariaWiki, more pages have been added and updated. Brother Grimace offers us Echo Base, Disco316 gave us Divaween, and Nighthawk updated Highland. All three (plus Doggieboy, Ranger Thorne, Vlademir1, and João Paulo Costa ) also worked on many other pages as well. Cheers to you!

Know of any (credible) research that's been done on the Daria fandom? Neither do I, but if you find some, tell everyone here about it.

If you have some fanfic-writing or fan-art-creating plans for 2009, tell everyone about it here, then get to work.

New fanfiction will be given in my next post. Do it to it!

A Valentine's Day Special Message from Brittany

It's that time of the month again when love sprinkles its golden showers o'er us and we guys get the wrong things for our Significant Others. Brittany has a few thoughts about that.

Brittany also wants to share a romantic thought for those who have undergone a bit of stress in their relationships.

And who could forget this unforgettable moment, so appropriate for St. Valentine's Day?

Usually on holidays like this I list a lot of appropriate fanfiction to read, but instead how about YOU suggest which 'shippers are your favorite in all Daria fandom. Write down however many 'shippers you think MUST be mentioned on this day.

Not sure if I will be able to post much tomorrow, for obvious reasons. Have a nice one.

Quinn and Jake?

Much has been made, both on the show and in fanfic, about the similarities between Daria and Helen as well as between Daria and Jake. In both canon and fanfic, parallels have been shown between Quinn and Helen, as well.

But what about Quinn and Jake? As far as I can remember, the only example of any real bonding between them is the scene in "Lucky Strike" where Jake "helps" Quinn study for her English test.

However, consider a few interesting similarities between the two. Both tend to be a bit clueless, particularly when it comes to recognizing Daria's sarcasm:


Daria: Don't worry. It's a psychological test. You're automatically exempt.

Quinn: Oh. All right.

--"Esteemsters"


Jake: Oh, um, Daria, you know, some people just aren't cut out for military school.

Daria: I know, Dad, but I think it's admirable the way you've managed to pull your life together despite that early trauma.

Jake: Hey, thanks kiddo. I...what?

--"Is It College Yet?"


Also, both are prone to sudden bursts of the dramatic. We're all familiar with Jake's rants about military school and his father, but Quinn is capable of some good overreactions herself:


"Destroy our lives with your crushing rules and regulations? I can't breathe, Mother! I can't breathe!"

--"The Big House"


"She was pierced...pierced, I tell you! Oh, the humanity..."

--"Pierce Me"


"Guys! Guys! Stop the madness. Is a dress really worth destroying the sacred bond between Fashion Club member and Fashion Club member? Stop your fighting before it's too late!"

--"Aunt Nauseam"


...Well, you get the idea.

I'm willing to bet there are far more parallels out there that I'm just too damn lazy to look for right now. So why has this virtual gold mine of fanfic possibilities been mostly overlooked for so long?

Hint, hint.

Friday the Thirteenth: Do You Know Where Your Karma Is?

This is the day for which a character in "A Hard Days' Night" is named. Swell kid. Little unpredictable, though.

It's also the 118th birthday anniversary of famed artist Grant Wood, who painted American Gothic, seen at right.

It's mid-February, about the time of year that the students of Lawndale High went to Montreal. Daria began to get the hots for Michael, Trent gets married, and the show was mentioned in TV Guide a decade ago.

Roentgen has written a marvelous scene that SHOULD be, but it's in the wrong thread. Read it and love it.

The immortal real-life Jane Lane, Anne D. Bernstein, has begun posting amusing things in her Buzzdome blog again. Enjoy.


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• Big Jake's Harley-Davidson, by Ranger Thorne (continued): Daria watched as Quinn rode off with Joey, Jeffy and Jamie trailing behind her. She’s got her own little motorcycle club, she thought. Of course, it’s not the bikes they’re really looking at. [Love this story.]
  
• Cynic with a Vampire, by Peapotmaster (Part 3): “Eeeewww, what kind of meat is that?” Quinn asked Veronique. “It’s called blood sausage, and the red stuff is ketchup,” replied Veronique. [Riiiiiiight.]
• LATIFA: In the King's Navy, by SoCalledGoodeGuy (Part 2): “So, Morgendorffer, eh?” Daria turned to see the short-haired girl who hadn’t jumped from her seat at the explanation of Project Starsword. The raven’s-wing black hair matched the uniform cloth, but a pair of clear blue eyes twinkled most unmilitarily in a face that held a sardonic smirk. “I’m Jane Lane. Looks like we’re roomies.”
  
• Unfavorite Daughter, Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Oh, don't bother," one of two boys said as an auburn haired girl walked by them. "It's that brainy chick." [This is excellent!]
  

Purple Pants: A New Style for Teens?

Another animation error, but this one is easier to explain than hair-color changes over a few seconds time. The girl that UU and I have nicknamed "Bib Overalls" suddenly wears purple overalls instead of medium blue ones in "A Tree Grows in Lawndale." She just wore a different pair that day. But only that day, if the other episodes are any measure.

Wasn't much else going on, just wanted to post something. Valentine's Day is coming. Moar l8r.

Caption Contest!

What is Daria looking at?

(Give your answer below in Comments.)

Psychics' Sidekicks

Brother Grimace found an online article about the problems in writing about psychic characters in fiction, but he has some issues with the author's issues. For more on this, click over to PPMB. The debate is well worth reading, especially if you have (or will have) psychic characters in your fanfiction.

Another MTV Daria alumnus has done good in the animation world. Read about him here.

Lorenzo Sauchelli has a teaser for the next chapter of Legion of Lawndale Heroes Special: Tokusatsu Team Up!

Kalad1 has a new Iron Chef about transhumanism!

Who will write the 300,000th post on PPMB? It's coming up soon! More 2 come eventually.

PPMB

• Iron Chef: Love in the Postmodern World (unnamed story), by respite (COMPLETE!): A postmodern love story. A weird one, too.
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Papers covered the Morgendorffer kitchen table, Jane had been dispatched to a bar for a night out, and the three Morgendorffer women sat in what could only be a described as a council of war.
  
  

Where's Glenn? (Part 3)

Okay, I think that's Glenn Eichler in the middle of the front row, chewing on a turkey drumstick as he watches Quinn perform in her play ("Fair Enough"). What do you think? All these white guys with beards look alike to me.

I missed a news item from a week ago: Dariaverse.com has a marvelous webpage with almost all of the known Legion of Lawndale Heroes stories on it. You've got them all in one spot! Kudos to Lorenzo Sauchelli for the page!

Roentgen's brand-new addition to DariaWiki: the Junction Belt.

Roentgen also provides us with a Scene No Daria Fanfic Should Have, but it's a story that definitely should be!

Someone has added a "Daria Tribute" video to the Daria Fan Club.

On FF.net, Farren O'Blivion is asking once more for feedback on her revised story, "Daria: The College Years." Chapter 11 coming soon.

Looking for a new Iron Chef on which to test your creative talents? Try this one.


PPMB

• Legion of Lawndale Heroes 13.4: For Those About To Rock, We Salute You, by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Andrea hopped on her big BMW touring motorcycle—which would have shocked her fellow students if they knew she had it, or how it came into her possession—and roared out of Lawndale. Well, I’m out of here. I don’t need this place anymore.
• Long Trek Home, by Ranger Thorne (continued): “Just try to only use your powers in the cause of good,” said Mack. “I refuse to make any promises I can’t keep,” Daria told him. ALSO, in the latest section, great "in" references to several other fanfics. See if you can catch them.
  
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 36): Daria was busy in the kitchen, preparing a sandwich for dinner when the doorbell rang. Knowing that everyone else was further away from the front door, she went to open up. On the way she used the dish towel hanging over her shoulder to dry her hands and the knife she was still holding. (SFMB)
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): How the hell did I get myself into this? Jane mentally berated herself. She turned to see Skylar's handsome face in profile as he drove. Oh yeah. It's to make this oily sonofabitch crawl.
• Upholder of the Good, by SoCalledGoodeGuy (Part 3): “Welcome to the Take Back the Night self-defense seminar, ladies!” Mrs. Barch seemed to strut back and forth in front of a small crowd of girls. “Tonight you’re going to learn how to defend yourself from any sleezeball man who might think that he could take advantage of you! Or how to beat the crap out of a cheating husband.”

Are two Heads better than one?

Another marvelous freaky moment in the series, if you were paying attention. It's the end of "Prize Fighters," and Jake Morgendorffer is sponsoring a hot dog eating contest to advertise his business. Lots of kids walk up to watch the fun.

Among them is The Head, walking in from the left side of this image. He's coming up behind Bob.

Also walking over is The Head, coming in from the bottom of the screen on the left side.

What the hell is going on here? This school has more mutants than Xavier's Academy. Does this have anything to do with the time The Head's glasses turned black, or when he appeared on a milk carton as a missing kid? Does Shaggy (over on the right side, orange shirt) have anything to do with this?

Blondie for a Moment

While looking through his collection of images for the Backgrounders website, UU discovered and passed on to me this pic from "Fair Enough." For one instant, as the scene shifts between Ms. Li and the class, the Jennifer on the left becomes a blonde. When the scene shifts to her again, she has black hair once more.

Animation errors. I love 'em.

Now try to explain them in the context of the show. That is the fun part. More after I wake up.

A Few More Ideas For A Slow Sunday

What if this scene from "Psychotherapy" wasn't just Quinn's imagination?

Quinn (hypnotized) – Oh Caesar, please don’t poison me. I could love you, but those togas make your butt look so big.

Daria – Oh, God.

Quinn – And what’s with that headband? Olive leaves are so BC.

Jean-Michel – Looks like she’s experiencing a past-life regression.

Daria – You’ve got the regression part right.

Quinn – Help, someone help me! Some king wants kill me for loving some soldier or something before I’ve had time to pass on my secret formula for eye liner. Oh Caesar, ya big idiot! Do something!

Daria – Impressive grasp of history, but she forgot the part where they all board Noah’s Ark for a Caribbean cruise.

Jean-Michel – Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems. But I must say, you’re remarkably well adjusted…considering.

Quinn – You’d think someone would’ve invented eye liner before me. But no, I, Cleopatra, have to come up with all my beauty products on my own. Oh, what a hard life.

(Daria stands)

Daria – At the count of ten, I will snap my fingers, and hopefully remember none of this.

Or in "I Don't":

Daria - Actually, I'm in the witness protection program. The Morgendorffers were kind enough to take me in after my real family was exterminated by the mob.

Instead of just Daria, the entire Morgendorffer family arrived in Lawndale as part of the Witness Protection Program. Maybe they had to flee Highland after their cover there had been lost (probably because of Beavis and Butthead, no doubt).

Or from "That Was Then, This Is Dumb":

Willow - (clasps Daria's hands) You have a very old soul.

Daria - It just looks mature for its age.

Daria does have an old soul... she's immortal

(All quotes are from Outpost Daria transcripts.)

Use them, abuse them, or just have fun with them.

Yet Even More Stuff with Fanfic Potential!

Tonight will be the 154th anniversary of the appearance of the Devil's Footprints in Devon, England. This is tailor-made for Daria fanfic. I don't know how, but I know the potential is there. It reeks of potential. Sniff the air. Yeah, there it is. Devil's Footprints. Go to it!

Today is also the 181st birthday of Jules Verne, without whom our childhoods would have been a heck of a lot more boring. He made a certain Daria fanfic possible, too. Bless him. He's the guy on the right. A great fanfic could be made based on any of his adventure stories. Put Daria and Jane on a submarine or a lost balloon or an island full of monsters! That would rock!

Oh! A giant meteorite crashed into Mexico exactly 40 years ago today, too. Fanfic, fanfic, fanfic! Just make it an asteroid and hit Lawndale! Awesome!

Okay, enough from me. All this thinking has worn me out. Take it from there. Tux? Tux! Where the hell is he? brb

Brother Grimace has posted a second teaser to his next Legion of Lawndale Heroes story, due out soon. Check it out.

And Iron Chef: Beeeep!! has some really awful stories to tell. Treat yourself to a few of them. They are hysterical.

Stuff with Fanfic Potential Out the Wazoo!

Let's see, let's start off with angst. Today is the 197th anniversary of the biggest earthquake ever known in the middle of the United States, the New Madrid Quake of 1812. I live rather close to this region, so if my writing gets jiggly one day, you'll know why. I'm sure someone can stick this into a story and kill and injure lots of characters.

Comedy is hard, everyone says, but today three very excellent comedians were born, and you can steal their jokes for your fanfics, or at least figure out how to make jokes like theirs. They are Emo Philips, Eddie Izzard, and Chris Rock. Now you can write a comedy fanfic and it will be easy. Start here.

Let's talk adventure. Today is also the birthday of aircraft designer Oleg Antonov, whose company (named for him) built the biggest airplane ever, the An-225, which I have been trying for years to figure out how to work into a Daria fanfic. I blew up a C-5 Galaxy in one story, but I always thought having some Daria characters as aircraft crew in a big plane that didn't blow up right away (kind of like a starship crew, get it?) would be awesome. Except I can't figure out how to do it. Damn.

Today is also the anniversary of Charles Dickens's birth, but nothing he did is worth writing about in a Daria fanfic, so I'll skip over him. Bleak House, my ass.

Any thoughts on the above three ideas? Any thoughts of your own? Do I have to do all the thinking around here? Apparently so. More later, then.

Newest DariaWiki entry: Bobby Stuart, by Disco316. Remember Bobby?


PPMB

• Falling into College 66: Christmas in White, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "None of us want your crutches flailing around while you try to catch the bouquet. But I'll make a deal with you. If that thing comes my way, I'll swat it over toward you."
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria smirked at that. “Trust me, Mom; if I was pregnant, you’d have to prepare the guest room for three kings.”
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "Esper Command reports have to be both pretentious and mind numbing, so I'll use correlation of forces. I'll also use i.e., e.g., ibid., op.cit. and q.v." "What about viz.?" "The idea is to numb the mind of the reader, not permanently damage it."

"Pet me, Quinn!" "No, pet me!" "No, me!"

An amusing PPMB thread has resurfaced: If Daria characters were mythological creatures. Much fun. More soon.











Or.... maybe not. Got home earlier, too tired to think of stuff. Someone else can think of something interesting (or not) to post.

Gimme a minute, maybe I'll think of something.

Minority Report

One of the little curios about Lawndale High was that it was long rumored in the fandom to have a low number of minority students. The principal is nonwhite, of course, as are some of the teachers, per the strike scenes in "Lucky Strike," but a headcount of faces in the episodes does indicate LHS is a mostly white institution. (We know more about racial issues at the school than religious ones, about which we know nothing at all.)

The official MTV Daria site once had a webpage devoted to Lawndale High's history, which was finally recovered by WayBack Machine and can be viewed here. Indeed, the page says: "LHS has a diverse student body of 1400, with an ethnic balance reflecting Lawndale's proud tradition of multiculturalism (we'd rather not give hard numbers)." Touchy on the issue, perhaps? It is worth noting that Ms. Li has a Buddha statue in her office, but I don't think anyone seriously believes she has any connection to Buddhism beyond dusting the figurine.

Other "official" information on the condition of minority students at LHS can be found in the episodes "Gifted," "I Loathe a Parade," "Prize Fighters," and Is It College Yet? Most of this comes either from Jodie Landon's grousing about having to live up to her father's impossible demands on her as a black student, or from her arguments with her father (Andrew) over school choice. Some relevant remarks follow. (All hail Outpost Daria as the source!)


"Gifted"

• Helen: "Well, there's not a lot of... diversity at Lawndale. A few people can be narrow-minded and not always accept—right away—people from different backgrounds."
• Jodie: "At home, I'm Jodie. I can say or do whatever feels right. But at school, I'm the Queen of the Negroes. The perfect African-American teen. The role model for all of the other African-American teens at Lawndale. Oops! Where'd they go? Believe me, I'd like to be more like you [Daria]."

"I Loathe a Parade"

• Jodie: "Isn't it great how they keep electing us Homecoming King and Queen every year?" Mack: "Yes, it's such a generous and enlightened gesture. It completely makes up for the town's utter lack of diversity, in my mind." Jodie: "And we're playing into it." Mack: "Damn college applications." Jodie: "This is so humiliating."
• [Later] Jodie: "Oh, what the hell. We may be tokens, but we're damn good-looking ones."

"Prize Fighters"

• Daria: "They [Wizard Foundation] haven't promoted a woman or a minority in three years." Andrew: "So? Who better to win the prize than a brilliant young woman? Especially, if it turns out to be a brilliant young black woman." Jodie: "That is a good point." Daria: "I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with Wizard, once you found out." Jodie: "Trying to reduce the competition by getting me to drop out, huh?" Daria: "No. I thought we'd both drop out." Andrew: "And who will win the scholarship then?" Daria: "Huh?" Andrew: "Wizard's policies have been prehistoric, yeah. But someone, somewhere in the organization, is trying to address that. Or, they wouldn't have created this prize. Now, do you walk away because the guy at the top is an idiot, or do you join the people trying to change the way he does business?" Daria: "How do I know they're not just trying to make him look good, without changing anything at all?" Andrew: "They won't change anything at all, if kids like you two don't push your way onto their radar and show them the error of their ways. If you don't go up to the gate and ring the big bell, they've kept you out without having to do a thing. Ring the big bell, Daria! Ring the big bell!"

Is It College Yet?

• Jodie: "You know, my grandmother was in the first Turner graduating class to admit women. I'd be carrying on a tradition. Plus, I'd finally get a break from having to be the perfect Jodie doll at a mostly white school." Mack: "I hear that."
• Andrew: "You want to go to college to relax? That doesn't sound like my Honor Society daughter." Jodie: "Relax socially. Stop being the black kid, and just being a kid. I'm tired of being in the extreme minority, and I don't want to go to a place where people might think I got in just because I'm African-American."

The impression is that minority students are worn out with the issue of being minorities and have become cynical about it. They just want to be able to forget about it and be who they are, be a part of the whole crowd. What is interesting is that the only kind of minority at LHS that has any voice is that of the black students. What about the other minorities? Nothing. Not many Native Americans, I guess.

There is another problem with this thinking, however. It is a reasonable assumption that Jodie, Mack, and other minority students have met bigoted persons in the school before and might meet them still on a daily basis, but no trace of such hatred can be found in the series. In fact, given the vast array of awards and achievements Jodie has gathered at LHS, one wonders if racial prejudice has had any impact on her life at all. Her father's pressure on her to succeed is the major source of her daily stress. Why did the writers shy away from this topic? Too difficult to find humor about it? That would be a first.

The most outrageous display of mass hatred expressed by Lawndale residents, in fact, is against penguins ("I Loathe a Parade"). However, I have already addressed the penguin snuff-porn issue and will move on with this topic.

Few Daria fanfics have dealt with diversity and prejudice. The better and more interesting ones I've read that have struggled with these issues include (with apologies to those I missed):

• "It's All About Repect," by Brother Grimace (note Kyle Armalin's musings in particular on racial issues)
• "Primarily Color," by Kara Wild (Driven Wild Universe, has some startling moments as racial and religious issues are brought to the surface at school)
• "Life's Meandering," by Yui Daoren (the Morgendorffers move to New Mexico, and Daria becomes a target of prejudice from a few Hispanic students)
  
• "Ngiynah Mihalev," by The Eighth Guardian (the Morgendorffers' Jewish heritage becomes known and antisemitism rears its head)
  
• "Anywhere but Here," by MMan (AU tale touching briefly on minority issues that came out differently in another world and time)

What is more often seen than conflicts with prejudice in Daria fanfiction is instead the kind of all-accepting attitude that the minority students in the canon series say they want. Jodie, Mack, and Kyle Armalin are little hampered by racism, if at all. The Morgendorffers, who are sometimes assumed to be Jewish despite the Christmas tree in their garage, do not have crosses burned on their lawn. (Same for Tiffany Blum-Deckler, also assumed to be Jewish because of her name.) The extreme seems to have been reached in The Sidhe's The Other Side of Time series, in which an AU Confederacy (in touch with Lawndale) achieves independence and emancipates its slaves, offering them full civil liberties. The major Southern figures in the Civil War who interact with Daria and Jane (and Kyle) display no iota of racial prejudice. I confess I balk at that, being from a border state that had mixed sympathies and being well aware of hidden biases, but weirder stuff has been written. Who am I to throw pebbles?

The fact is, none of us like prejudice. I would go so far as to say that there's an unspoken conspiracy among fanfic writers to keep some of the really ugly parts of human existence away from our beloved Lawndale. (Not all the time, mind you, but most of the time.) Nonetheless, stories that handle prejudice, whether they end happily or not, are keying into a topic that was integral to Daria from the beginning. People are different, and some people are kind of funny about that. It is an intriguing source of writing material. It would, however, be interesting to hear from someone other than Jodie, Andrew, and Mack on the topic. Maybe one or more of the Backgrounders or other original characters will one day tell their tales.

Hint, hint.


PPMB

• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Special: Tokusatsu Team Up! by Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 1): Facing a fellow Planeswalker was indeed a difficult task. Especially considering they couldn’t be killed by the regular methods, such as decapitation or even disintegration. Even so, they had both been severely weakened by one another in their latest encounter. “Okay, Daria, you need to focus. Where is she going next?”
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Daria decided that she didn't like covert operations about the same time her boot started to chafe. She was normally a pretty good walker, but she didn't appreciate the need to walk almost all the way back to 1111, only to duck quickly down a side street and head back to the other side of town. She had no one to blame but herself, so she gritted her teeth and soldiered on.