Monday, December 31, 2018

Start the Countdown!


Jesse's getting an early and over-the-top start on New Year's Eve. Whether you're going to go out on the town, stay home and count down until midnight, or go to bed early (raises hand), I hope you all have a very happy new year!

If you want something Daria-appropriate for celebrating, here's Daria's cameo appearance on the MTV New Year's Eve 2002. Timeless advice that's still useful today!

Fanfic Update!
  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "'Alright, so, one of the main themes we're supposed to focus on is the chaos of the universe'. 'The what?'"

  • Sexual Miseducation (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Rev. Li is giving a sex ed lecture. To call it misinformation would be an understatement." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 158 and 159): "If there was anything that freaked Kevin out about Tiffany, it was her intensity." (Part 159)

  • Well, I Never (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria was watching a documentary on the History Channel about UK soccer and the history of hooliganism. Before she knew it, Quinn had plopped herself on the couch, carrying a bag of low fat popcorn. She grabbed the remote control."

  • You Want It Darker, by LongSnakeMoan (part 5): "The crack in the blinds filtered the light through with the sound of angry traffic below, wrenching Jane from the depths of sleep, her rail thin coiled tightly around her comforter. Her first thought was relief, relief she'd made it through another night, in-tact and alive."

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Just...Go a Little Easy on the Jalapenos, Okay?


Either Jake is making the questionable decision to make another batch of Kitchen Sink Stew or he's observing Pepper Pot Day. No matter which one it is, I suspect the day will end with a blackened tongue for Jake.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Life is a Cabarchet


Barch is enjoying a turn as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. If classic movies aren't your thing, you could enjoy some nice children's programming in honor of Howdy Doody's debut on this day in 1947. See if Upchuck (a.k.a. the "Howdy-Doody-looking freak") wants to join in.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ashtrapped, by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "It'd be so easy to just disappear. Sweat streaming down her face, Daria focused on lifting one booted foot after the other."

  • Holiday Hell, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Logan International Airport was teeming with holiday travelers and Daria Morgendorffer was one of many. She'd never liked crowds as a child and she hated them even more as an adult." (Part 2)

  • Sexual Miseducation (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria and Quinn are in the kitchen catching up. 'So, Daria, what do you think?' Daria asked 'About?' Quinn said 'The overall situation.'"

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 28): "Why the hell did I come here of all places? Jane wondered as Sammy Squirrel played a guitar and led a throng of six year olds in a chorus of "If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands". Oh yeah, because Pizza King reminds me too much of her. Hell, this place reminds me of her!"

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

"X" Marks the Spot for Christmas!


It looks like someone still hasn't gotten that cottage made of gingerbread he wanted for Christmas, but at least he can ironically play some carols with his hiphop-punk-electronica band. That should cheer him up...or not.

If you celebrate Christmas, then please have a good one!

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

What's the Opposite of a Festivus Miracle?


It looks like we caught Mr. DeMartino right between the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances portions of Festivus. And I expect a lot of grievance airing, because we all know how little Mr. DeMartino can afford to replace a pair of pants. I only know one Festive Daria fanfic, and that's "Bettie and Jack at Festivus." If you know of any others, please let me know!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 17): "Daria had just finished brushing her teeth and was ready to go to bed. From the way he was breathing Daria could tell that Tom was already asleep."

  • Daria's R, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Just as I was about to take my boots off On the rooftop there I see A girl with round glasses here before me"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 15): "Erin was back into the office early. She wanted to show Mr Stojoski his faith in her was well placed. Waking in her own bed, in her own place, had been rejuvenating and given Erin a bright start to the day."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Erin stood outside the Morgendorffer house, unsure if she could still just walk right in or if she was expected to knock first now. The decision was taken out of her hands when the door opened and Jake appeared." (Part 7)

  • Evil Deed Blues, by Princess_Pasta (parts 5 and 6): "High Hills Park was busy for a Saturday afternoon, teeming with people who wanted to make the most out of such a sunny day. There were mothers pushing babies in strollers and joggers circling the perimeter of the fence. For once, Trent found himself among the rest of the parents who were chasing after giggling toddlers and helping their kids across the monkey bars." (Part 6)

  • Outlanders, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria just didn't get it. No one like being around someone who was mopey all the time, but you could sort of get away with it in Chorrol."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 157): "Mack took the elevator to lab to find Jodie. He admitted to himself that he wanted to gossip, but he partially wanted to gloat."

Friday, December 21, 2018

Got Enough Holidays Yet?


The residents of Lawndale are surprisingly enthusiastic about National Flashlight Day, but that might just be because it's the Winter Solstice and they need as much extra light as they can get.

It could also be that they're taking Look on the Bright Side Day waaaaay too literally, but I doubt Daria would agree with that sentiment. If anything, she'd be a wholehearted supporter of Humbug Day.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Fa La LA La La!


Daria's getting into the holiday spirit--very disturbingly, I should add--because on this day in 1995, the Beavis and Butt-head Christmas special "It's a Miserable Life" aired. The image on the right is from an alternate universe where Daria is happy, well-adjusted, and dating. She's become everything she ever hated! Destroy the heretic!

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, speaking of disasters, today is also the anniversary of the movie Titanic, which premiered on this day in 1997. Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill will probably re-create that iconic scene again, and if we're lucky they'll both get pushed into the water.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Artist and The Fashionista, by Jabe Shepherd (part 2): "'Quinn, sweetie get up it's time for school' Helen said to her youngest that she turned her rooms light on."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (parts 4 and 5): "Daria's prediction proved correct. Breakfast the following morning was eaten in uncomfortable silence if you ignored Quinn's prattle, which Daria generally did."Part 5

  • Ho Ho Humbug (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "The sleeping arrangements at Gina's house are the boys and the dog in Chris's old room while Jim and Quinn sleep in Jim's old room. Sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightgown Quinn looks at the room." (Part 3)

  • Not-So-Secret Santa, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked up from her huge bowl of udon noodles (served in a spicy shrimp curry broth with salmon medallions, slivered red onions and bell peppers and a single, fat prawn) when Danielle Todds walked into her quarters, and plopped down onto one of the overstuffed chairs without saying 'hello'."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 51): "'What are you doing man?' Trent's voice came in through the haze of fog filled sleep of Jesse's brain. To which Jesse rolled over and covered his head with the nearest pillow."

  • Outlanders, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria returned home to find her mother seated at the office, still poring over a stack of documents. Helen had spared no effort in ensuring that her base of operations befitted a legal advocate trained in the time-honored Imperial ways." (Part 3)

  • PIGS!!!, by ST91 (part 1): "'Where is he? Where is he? 'Jodie kept wondering as she walked briskly through the halls, looking for Dario. She had immediately realized how serious was what she had said in the locker room."

Monday, December 17, 2018

Airhead Takes to the Air!


Quinn is suited up and ready for take-off on Pan American Aviation Day. Someone should warn her that the mode of transportation might be a little less reliable than she expects, because the holiday commemorates the Wright brothers's first successful flight on this day in 1903. Can you believe they didn't even have in-flight magazines? No Waif, Quinn. No. Waif.

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 15, 2018

"Oh, Scarlet, you grow lovelier by the day!"


Daria's getting in touch with her inner Scarlet O'Hara in honor of the movie "Gone With the Wind," which premiered in Atlanta on this day in 1939. Or maybe after Quinn talked her into watching the movie, Daria decided to show off her secret but impressive cosplaying skills.

If they're looking for movie snacks, I could remind them that today is also National Cupcake Day. I only mention it because I'm still groaning at the "You're a great hostess, cupcake!" line from "The Invitation."

Fanfic Update!
  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (part 6): "As she walked towards the cafeteria Daria felt very strange. A part of her was still stunned by what happened, while the other had sharpened her senses to the maximum, like a prey that knows that the predator was close."

  • The Artist and The Fashionista, by Jabe Shepherd (part 1): "It was a cool August day, Daria was busy packing up for college, it was as always a neutral feeling summer vacation for her with it's ups and downs. Jane was with her helping her and engaging in their usual banter."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (part 3): "Later that night, Jake was alone in the kitchen staring glumly at his crate full of hot dogs. He squinted at the packing slip and then at the hot dogs again, letting out a sigh."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Stacy usually slept in on Saturdays but she found herself waking from a fitful sleep, groggy and disoriented. Her half-lidded eyes found their way to her window and she stared out at the cloudless grey sky, too tired to move."

  • Ho Ho Humbug (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn and Stacy are eating pizza and catching up. They seem so like Daria and Jane back in high school that no one could fail to notice. Quinn asked 'So, what are you doing for Christmas?'"

  • Jay Lane, by ST91 (part 2): "Later that day, Jay and Brittany were standing in the cafeteria. 'Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet. 'The blonde girl said. 'What does not kill us makes us stronger'. Jay said."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (COMPLETE!): "Nuzzling up to the naked body lying beside her, Liz kissed the woman next to her and murmured, 'Morning, Beautiful.'"

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 22): "Mack collapsed on the old armchair in the living room. Rarely he felt so tired. A twinge of pain ran through his back."

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 27): "'I still think maybe we should've gone to pick her up.' said Jake. It Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving and the Morgendorfers were waiting for Daria to show up."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "Tinos Ondryn smiled wider than any Dunmer that Daria had ever seen. It almost looked natural on his gray face, soft and round for a Mer's. Only his red eyes gave it away, his gaze as fixed and forced as every other Hlaalu lackey's."

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 7 and 8): "'So what happened next?' asked Helen. 'How did you get custody of Myrcia?' 'A long story,' said Ben." (Part 8)

Thursday, December 13, 2018

"Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling?"


I have a sneaking suspicion that Ice Cream Day is not Mack's favorite holiday, and given his poor experience selling it I can't say I blame him. He'll be laughing all the way to the bank when he and Kevin make their first million on Bro and QB's Firstdown Fudge.

If ice cream isn't your thing (and why the hell not, I might ask?) then you could have a nice cup of hot chocolate for National Cocoa Day. Quinn's already mixing up a batch, no hurricane required!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

This Mountain is Soooo Shiny!


Tiffany's being unusually physically active today, but only because it's International Mountain Day. I'm sure once she gets to the top and checks her makeup she'll return to her typical languid stupor. I don't know if the rest of the Wilderness Adventure Club is coming up with her, but if they are you can bet Ms. Li has brought the video camera along.

Meanwhile, Helen's busy trying to decide whether or not to try suing UNICEF again, because today is the organization's birthday. It was created on this day in 1946, and I'm sure they've accumulated quite a few pennies since then.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 15): "Anton got on the radio. 'Hey, when you are all finished having fun over there I have incoming here. I have three Groundfighter robots headed for the reactor. I could use some backup.'"

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "Helen was pacing the living room impatiently, feeling angrier by the second. She was furious with her mother for guilting her into working on Erin's divorce. She was furious with Rita for backing out of helping in favor of a whirlwind trip to New York with her boyfriend. Most of all, she was furious with herself for once again getting dragged into the same family drama that she'd been trying to avoid since she was a child." (Part 2)

  • Pimpin' Ain't Easy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Jim and Giselle are sitting in the living room discussing the situation. Giselle looks like a deer caught in the headlights."

  • Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick (part 14): "The armchair across the room was dragged over and Trent joined his sister at Daria's bedside. He smiled and draped her drab green jacket across her legs. 'You forgot this.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 156): "'I have to think that this place is very...creepy,' Andrea said. 'I mean, I liked the Arboreum, but the rest? You can have it.' She was being given the grand tour by Sandi Griffin, who was doing her best to hold her tongue. 'Well...that's an interesting perspective,' she said in return."

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Know Any Corrupt Clowns?


Ms. Li is absolutely horrified to learn that today is International Anti-Corruption Day, because she has no idea how to run Lawndale High School in anything like an honest way. Maybe she can take a class on the subject and pay the tuition by embezzling some extra school funds.

Today is also the anniversary of the late Emmett Kelly's birth in 1898, which would make good inspiration for the Art in the Park crying clown artist. Good news, though, for Mystik Spiral: although Kelly is dead and unable to clown, they can still be freaking friends.

Fandom News!

Friday, December 7, 2018

Brittany Ditzyhands


Brittany looks a bit distressed about celebrating the anniversary of the movie Edward Scissorhands, which premiered on this day in 1990. Then again, she might just be worried about how she's going to hold her pom poms. Hard to say with that one.

Fanfic Update!
  • Double (or Triple) Trouble (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane walked home from school. It was time for Jane to spring her surprise on Daria. 'So, Daria...I want to let you know that I have tickets to the new Front Bottoms concert. Wanna come along?'"

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 24): "'We're almost there,' Daria pointed out. 'Should be about six more hours before we reach Lawndale. I recognize this part of Ohio.'"

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (part 4): "Things became even more chilly a day before Halloween… when Sandi came by, the morning before the big costume ball. She had called the day before, to make certain the family (and the security detail) knew that she was on her way."

  • Pimpin' Ain't Easy (But It Sure Does Suck) (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Jim and Quinn are seated at the kitchen table while a beautiful young brunette sits across from them. She's hoping to be hired as their new assistant." (Part 2)

  • The Promposal (Are there any Brittany and Daria shipper fanfics?), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "As soon as she and Jane sat down at the lunch table, Daria took a suck off the paper straw stuck in her carton of chocolate milk. She very nearly spat it in Jane's face as Brittany and the entire Lawndale Lion football cheer squad popped up in front of their table."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 31): "'Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday Elizaveta...' 'Blow out the candles, kiddo!' Jake grinned as Helen brought in a chocolate layer cake with seventeen candles."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 21): "Anthony braked abruptly when he found himself facing a SUV's carcass. What the hell!? He thought."

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 26): "'Hands inside the window, Danny.' said Jesse as they drove to the airport. 'But look!' said Danny, letting his hand drift on the speeding air current. 'My hand can fly!' 'It'll go flying if a truck hits it!' Jane reminded him."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Well, they're going to nuke the porn from Tumblr.' Jane: 'RIP Tumblr.'"

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 3 - 6): "They didn't move into a house immediately. Neither Breeze nor Ben had scouted out the town beforehand to search for housing. They had planned to stay in a cheap hotel in town while they looked." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Warning: Do Not Accept Any Drinks From Upchuck


Upchuck is well-prepared for Repeal Day, which celebrates the end of Prohibition in the United States. Of course, that was 85 years ago, so maybe Upchuck is going just a little overboard. Besides, Quinn "Keg Queen" Morgendorffer might not like him muscling in on her territory.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 3, 2018

A Brain Under a Hot Tin Roof


Daria is celebrating National Roof over Your Head Day by making sure the library roof stays up over her head where it belongs. I'm sure everything's fine, though. It's not like Ms. Li would skimp on roof maintenance, and it's not like Lawndale employs contractors like Doug Thompson, right?

Hmmm. Daria? Run. Run now.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Blum-Decker Option, by Roentgen (part 4): "Kevin entered Tiffany's room - the room that he couldn't see from the bathroom, the one with the door opened. He had to admit he was stirred by the fact that he was in the room and she was hot, hotter than his now ex-girlfriend."

  • Consider The Corps (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Apparently, they have a great PR department." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 14): "Erin woke tired. The bed was narrow; the room was dark and small and neither room nor bed was hers. She experienced a few moments of disorientation before yesterday's memory returned."

  • Freefall (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Blood pooled on the damp grass, dark and slick. It was like the whole world had gone still. Not one rustling tree branch, not one chirping bird. Nothing. All Jamie could do was stand there and stare, the sight so startling that it was almost unreal."

  • A Not So Merry Beginning to the Christmas Season in Lawndale High... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I feel like Barbie took a sparkly shit on a rainbow that died three days ago.' 'No Daria, that is what you look like in that outfit.'"

  • Ultra Love (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Every twenty years Lawndale High has a Thompson as the star quarterback. In the late 1970's it began with Doug Thompson. In the late 90's it was his son, Kevin. Now, in 2018, it's Ultra Thompson." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "She remembered later just how ordinary the day had seemed until after dinner." (Part 2)

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Mmm...Cholesterol


Jake had better take it easy there. It may be the start of National Eggnog Month, but that quart will have to last him until the end of December. Plus, that's obviously milk and not eggnog. And finally, Daria can attest that out-of-season 'nog can lead to holiday-related hallucinations.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

They Really Are Eating Unauthorized Chocolate!


Tom and Daria are completely on board with National Chocolates Day, especially because Quinn's going to be pissed when she finds out. If you'll excuse me, I have some celebrating of my own to do. See you when the sugar coma wears off!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Blum-Decker Option, by Roentgen (parts 1 - 3): "Kevin Grossman walked up to 1527 White River Way in Lawndale. He ended up in this dreary bourgeois town by happenstance." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Everyone hates the message board miscreant, but now you can do something about it! Flame wars: the next generation, tonight on Sick, Sad World! Kevin had a bowl of Cocoa Puffs precariously balanced on his lap while he flipped through the TV channels when his mom walked through the front door."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 33): "It was no secret that Harry James Morgendorffer, “HJ” to his friends and family, liked sports cars—the faster, the higher-performance, the better. Not that he could do much more than look—being nine years old and being on an allowance drastically limited his options and buying power."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 3): "Morgendorffer household. Morning. Quinn and Daria are together in the kitchen. Quinn is preparing pancakes, smiling and humming softly. Daria is sitting and looking at Quinn while she cooks, with a slight Mona Lisa grin and an unsually tender expression on her face."

  • Love of a Good Esteemster, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "I wasn't really worried about being late for the self-esteem class which the so-called school counselor pseudo-shrink condemned me to until I considered that being late might be considered a sign of low self-esteem and condemn me for a longer sentence in whatever purgatory 'teen self-esteem class' was a euphemism for in Lawndale High's jargon."

  • Magician's Code, by Crow-Black Dream (COMPLETE!): "Stacy slept in that morning. The first thing she saw was the bouquet of daisies arranged around the unfurled flower wand in a blue vase on the dresser."

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

The Wind Cries Jodie


I see Jodie has added "Jimi Hendrix impersonator" to her already-substantial list of extracurricular activities, at least for today because it's the anniversary of the late musician's birth in 1942. For any further historical details about Hendrix, we should ask Stan from "Speedtrapped." Unless you value accuracy, in which case you should ask literally anyone else.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Apparently There IS Crying in Baseball


Mr. O'Neill would wish the late baseball player Joe DiMaggio a happy birthday, except that right now he's an inanimate object and therefore unable to speak. Let's enjoy it while it lasts, shall we? Especially because the real Mr. O'Neill is probably even less intelligent than the bobble-head version.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 14): "While Daria and Erwin were working on programming the welding robots, out in the old habitat space Anton checked his hard suit to make certain there were no air leaks."

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "The doorbell rang out while Daria was glued to her computer, staring at a blank Word document. She'd been there since she got home, trying her hardest to get something written down. She was no stranger to writer's block but this was the worst time for it to rear its ugly head."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 2): "Morgendorffer household by night. Quinn's room. Quinn and Daria are both in their night clothes. Quinn is sitting on her bed, Daria on a camp bed. They both look miserable. Daria is purposedly ignoring Quinn's attempts at communicating."

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (part 3): "'Everyone in the First Academy is required to learn how to fight,' Divon explained to the boys, who watched her practice Jeet Kune Do on a trio of practice dummies in the center of the 'warren' as they lounged in the twin hammocks."

  • No, Thanksgiving (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is in the backyard draining out the pool. Her next door neighbor, Ming Wang, comes up to the fence. 'Quinn, how are you?' Smiling, Quinn said 'Hi, Ming.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)

Friday, November 23, 2018

I Hope Helen's Credit Card Can Handle the Strain


The Fashion Club is ready to go for Black Friday, and I pity the crowds that get in their way today. Just beware of shopper's cramp, girls!

Meanwhile, I'll be joining Daria and Jane for Buy Nothing Day, but that's less of a protest against consumerism than it is pure laziness on my part.

Finally, today marks the eleventh anniversary of this very blog, begun on this day in 2007 by awesome writer/fan/blogger/human being The Angst Guy. Happy birthday, you wonderful old fandom blog!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

"Next, on Sick, Sad World!"


Daria and Jane are celebrating World Television Day and--oh, wait. This is what they do every day, so never mind. I guess I don't need to tell anyone how to observe this holiday!

Today is also False Confession Day, so feel free to pretend you committed a crime, I guess? I have no idea what the point of this one is, but it could be a good opportunity to claim you murdered Kevin. Everyone else did, after all.

Fanfic Update!
  • Career Daze (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is driving while Sam is in the front passenger seat. Teddy is in the back taking notes. Sam looked out the window. 'So, this is Philadelphia, huh?'" (Part 3)

  • Forty-nine Old Geek (Ironic Chef - "Daria Schrecter"), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'Mr. Schrecter, can I ask one thing?' 'Yeah.' 'Why have you been living in our home and keeping house for two months?'"

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Daria was eating lunch at a lone table in Pizza King on a breezy Saturday afternoon, her trusty journal splayed out before her among discarded grease-stained napkins and stray crumbs."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 1): "Morgendorffer household. Helen, Jake and a still pregnant Quinn are watching the news. Quinn suddenly tenses up when a new subject is adressed."

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "'It's a quarter to five, Chris! We're leaving in fifteen minutes!' Christopher Griffin tried to not growl at the sound of his mother's voice in the distant darkness." (Part 2)

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 25): "Trent was woken by the sound of his phone quacking. I gotta get a new phone sometime. He thought even as he answered it. 'Hello?'"

Monday, November 19, 2018

What a Potty Mouth!


Daria's getting up close and personal with her friend Talking Toilet for World Toilet Day. I'm not sure it'll be much of a conversation, though. Daria's not much of a talker and I suspect I wouldn't like to hear the things a toilet has to say.

If toilets aren't your thing, today is also Ms. Barch's least-favorite holiday, International Men's Day. So enjoy your day, approximately fifty percent of the world's population!

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Helen's Taking "Breadwinner" Too Literally


Helen's hoping that Homemade Bread Day will be over soon, because she just can't take kneading any more bread. Someone should tell her that bread machine bread still technically counts as homemade, but maybe she just really wants that soul-flavored bread.

Once she's done with the breadmaking, she should take some time to get outdoors for Take A Hike Day. Mr. DeMartino is way ahead of her, and frankly I'm worried he might not come back. With Kevin as a student, I'm not sure I could blame him.

Fanfic Update!
  • Career Daze (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Mrs. Henderson is addressing her first grade class. The students include Quinn 'Q' Ruttheimer, Michelle Wang, Shane Sloane, Kevin Thompson Jr. and the Carbone Triplets."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 13): "Erin trudged home from the T. She had been on her feet most of the day and was exhausted. There had been no seat on the train home and the weather had turned bitterly cold and wet."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 23): "Judging from the amount of trees in the area, Daria noted that they had finally reached either the South or the Midwest. A lot of the cities they drove through had been destroyed on the apocalyptic hellfire."

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "It was a Thursday afternoon in early September not unlike hundreds before it. Only, today, Daria was driven from the comfortable fortress of her room and forced to walk the streets. It wasn't her family that had her rushing for the door but the clashing thoughts in her head." (Part 2)

  • Mirror (Iron Chef: Glittering Lawndale), by Astrocar82 (part 2): "As Daria got onto the bus, after a bizarre kiss on the cheek from her far more subdued than usual father, her fears seemed validated immediately."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 20): "Anthony braked abruptly when he found himself facing a SUV's carcass. What the hell!? He thought. From the corner of his eye he saw the façade of the house Morgendorffer destroyed and his heart skipped a beat."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 155): "Greg Adams was busy reading e-mail from some of his fellow Academy graduates. His roommate was out for the day, visiting family, and Esra had decided to attend a movie with Jenni Mishta. It was some sort of chick flick and when Esra explained the plot, Greg lost interest."

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Things Went Downhill After the Fashion Club Broke Up


Either Sandi is getting surprisingly into America Recycles Day or she's just lost her damn mind entirely. Then again, I suppose there's no reason it can't be both. I'm sure Quinn will be happy to see that she's not the only one who's been caught wearing--or wielding--a Hefty bag!

If you really get the urge to do some cleaning up today, try going through the fridge for Clean Your Refrigerator Day. Look out for that red stuff, though. I have serious doubts that it's cranberry juice.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Schrödinger's Reader


Don't disturb Daria right now, because she's observing Young Readers Day. That's some serious dedication to a holiday, considering she had to go back in time to do it! I'd ask her what the secret of time travel is except she just got to a good part and I can't bear to interrupt her reading. Young, old, or in between, please enjoy a good book today!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Awkward Phase (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "While their father prattled about a bunch of old film that Mad Dog had shot years ago and saying that a lot of happy memories were coming back to him, his daughters mostly tuned him out in favor of the more recent family video of Daria's third birthday party."

  • Beginnings (Pasta's Never-Ending Ideas Thread 2), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "There was something almost charming about the small suburb of Lawndale...if you chose to overlook the unstable landfill and utterly boring scenery."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 51): "Daria's suspicions about the new boys proved correct. The three boys banded together and started making trouble for their classmates."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 12): "The impact that woke Erin threw her from the bed. Her first realisation was the approaching floor. Sitting up she gently tested her teeth and nose both of which felt broken. 'Ow! My face' she said."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Dr. Jasmine Mackenzie was a whip smart woman with the patience of a saint. She was good looking for mid-forties, dark-skinned with a cascade of deadlocks that she kept bound by a thick band. Out of all the therapists that Daria had cycled through, she was the toughest nut to crack."

  • When Tony Comes Marching Home (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A young Tony Carbone is at HQ. Tony has a buzz cut and an angry scowl despite the fact that he's at a party. His Ranger batallion is having a Christmas party before going on holiday leave. One of his fellow Rangers, a red haired guy named Dennis, walks up to him."

Sunday, November 11, 2018

A Salute to Those Who Served


Today we salute not only George Patton on the anniverary of his birth in 1885, but also all veterans because today is Veteran's Day. I'm not sure if there are any military veterans in Daria, because aside from military school references no character is explicitly stated to have served in combat. Even Mad Dog has no specific mention of being a veteran to my knowledge, although it seems likely and fanon agrees. Mr. DeMartino is a likely candidate, too, and I suppose Buck Conroy might count if you include mercenaries. Anyone I'm missing? Let me know in the comments.

Fandom News!

Friday, November 9, 2018

"Mad Mack" Is More Than Just a Nickname!


Mack's concocting something extra special for Inventor's Day, but he's got a long way to go if he wants to beat Andrew Landon's folding coffee cup. Judging by how much of that glowing green stuff he's spilling, I'm not sure he's going to accomplish much of anything useful aside from maybe disfiguring himself horribly.

That might work, too, though, because today is also Chaos Never Dies Day. That holiday seems like it be more well-suited to Kevin, but I'm not going to argue with that face.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 26): "Janice stood at the edge of the sidewalk leading up to the house. It was lived in, but looked kind of dilapidated, and nobody'd bothered to mow the lawn for the past few weeks."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 50): "School started the third week of August, a week after the last day of day camp. Despite Daria's general dislike for exercise and the great outdoors, she found that she missed day camp, at least a little."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 13): "The tension in the colony was palpable. Everyone was on edge. Commander Ramirez had formed two teams. One would engage the approaching enemy at the opening to their valley. The other would protect the nuclear reactor."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 11): "Were they dating? Erin hummed as she wandered around her apartment, finalising her nightly rituals. Occasionally she danced a few steps. Her weekend had been perfect."

  • Questions of Reality, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Good Morning,' Laura Albertson said, as she walked up. Amanda Leigh saw that she continually held her left hand in her short hair as she usually did."

  • Second Chance for Love: Summertime Fun, by David Falkayn (part 30): "'There might be some potential within you after all, Ms. Morgendorffer.' Percival admitted to his sole remaining student, a sarcastic grin on his face, as the pair sat in the now empty classroom."

  • Thank U (formerly The Wrath of Con), by Lady Evil (part 24): "Jane was sitting on a couch Monday morning at the Thatcher duplex. She petted the white rabbit in her lap as Ollie looked through her sketches, occasionally giggling. 'Oh, this is perfect, Jane!' she was saying. 'You've really captured the essence of Lafayette!'"

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

I Isolate Radioactive Isotopes, Therefore I Am


Quinn's doing her best Marie Curie impression for the anniversary of the physicist's birth on this day in 1867. At least she will until the Fashion Club catches her acting like a brain. I mean, it's not like she has to make that much effort in Ms. Barch's class to get a good science grade. She's got two X chromosomes, so she's good for at least a B no matter what she does.

If she decides to keep a lower profile, she can switch to her "existential" turtleneck outfit in honor of philosopher Albert Camus's birth on this day in 1913. I'm not sure exactly how Camus felt about accessories from the street fair, though.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 5, 2018

Bollocks!


Guy Fawkes Day doesn't seem very happy that today's his day, but I suppose if you represented a holiday based on something that didn't happen then I suppose you'd be less than enthusiastic as well. Celebrate with some overused English stereotypes. Pip-pip and cheeri-o!

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake has just declared his intention to tell Kevin the truth about Daryl and Brittany. Quinn is now trying to talk him out of it. 'Dad,' she said, 'Think about what you're doing.'"

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (part 7): "Jane to Daria Are you ready to deck the halls for the ho-ho-holidays? I'm not!"

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 50): "'Buy me a drink?' Jesse gave a cursory glance at the woman that had come to stand beside him and had to do a double take. He had been drinking- a lot and he had wanted to continue until he forgot everything......that is until now."

  • Powerpuff Girls, by peapotmaster (part 1): "A black haired girl in a green outfit lied on the ground, as she turned to see her town being attacked by one who they and her sisters trusted."

  • Questions of Reality, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The city of Bellington Vale was quiet, it being just before dawn. However, some events were to occur to disturb the peace. Indeed, a horrific discovery was made in Victoria Park as the sun began to peek above the horizon."

Saturday, November 3, 2018

A Book and a Sandwich...What Could Be Better?


Let's not get desperate here. It might be National Sandwich Day, but I'd like to think we can come up with a better option than "antique sandwich Jane just peeled off of Daria's butt." For example, Earl and Barbara just cooked up a new batch of grilled cheese that they'd be happy to--on second thought, let me have another look at that PBJ Jane found.

If, like me, you're having doubts about the whole sandwich thing, then let me invite you to celebrate Book Lovers Day instead. It's well-suited to Daria fans and less likely to give you indigestion.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 1, 2018

I Hope They Stocked Up on Antacids!


I think Jake's the only one in the Morgendorffer house that's feeling enthusiastic about Men Make Dinner Day. Everyone else is making sure they still have Pizza King on speed dial.

Personally, they should try being a little braver. After all, today is also the anniversary of the 1871 birth of Stephen Crane, author of The Red Badge of Courage. I don't think Crane would agree with Mr. O'Neill's comparison of the book to the Cowardly Lion, but considering Crane died shortly after The Wizard of Oz was published I suppose he had more important things to worry about.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise - Daria, by Resop (part 12): "'What?' Daria looks at Enchi-sensei in disbelief. 'Daria, I am afraid that you have outgrown my teaching. There is nothing more I can teach you.'"

  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jake and Helen are in the home office visiting Quinn. Jake has just learned that Brittany has been cheating on Kevin with her personal trainer, Daryl. His reaction is pure shock."

  • Break (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sweltering summer sun filtered in through the windows of The Tank, the cheerful warmth no match for the frost coming from the passenger's seat. Trent guided the van down the stretch of highway, wondering as he had for the past thirty minutes, why Daria had to tag along."

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 10): "'Don't call me Janey and give it to me straight.' Trent clenched his fork so tight that the pressure flung a bunch of rice in the air. Jane wrinkled her nose when rice stuck to it."

  • Daria/Quinnts - Children of Mt Olympus, by Daria7142 (part 1): "It was the middle of night outside in the quiet community of Elysium Paradise. Most of the residents are preparing to sleep as the moon shine brightly outside. At the Nightrays home, a bright light beam outside a room on the second floor of the building."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Mr. O'Neill's whiny voice was impossible to drown out, no matter how hard Daria tried. She watched as he awkwardly fumbled through papers and wondered how a man so flaky could possibly teach them anything about self-confidence."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Jane to Daria My parents are getting a divorce."

  • Pity, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Jane stood at her window and looked down three stories to where Daria was stepping out onto the wet sidewalk, opening an umbrella as her booted feat set off to the train station."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (part 154): "'You know - it's like a dark cloud has dropped over this Tower of yours.' Wills Warbles stood on the beach just below where Legion Tower stood, and tossed a rock into the dark, surprisingly still waters of Lewis Bay as Julia looked on."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The door slammed open. Between the faux tropical decor and scent of fruity mixed drinks, it was exactly the kind of bar one would expect Timothy O'Neil to frequent. It sure as hell wasn't one of the dive bars that appealed to any of the other men with."

  • Winter unsavings, by JPAGC (part 1): "That friday, Daria returned home, after a long day at school and some at the public Library, to find Quinn at the Den, tied up on the phone, sitting down at the Table with a huge quantity of papers in front of her."

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Ready For Some Mischief?


Halloween's big day is actually tomorrow, but she's happy to celebrate Mischief Night in the meantime. All she needs is some toilet paper, eggs, and someone who can drive. Oh, and possibly bail money. Just remember that if you decide to take all the toilet paper to TP anyone's house, please leave one roll for Jake. He really didn't appreciate it the last time.

Fandom News!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Mmm...Chocolate Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!


Mrs. Bennett will be right with you, as soon as she's done observing Plush Animal Lover's Day. We can have her attention back once she's appreciated every single Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit in the store, which means we'd really be better off just moving on without her.

Speaking of grown women with unhealthy obsessions, today is also National Chocolate Day and--what? Oh, right, of course I was referring to Mrs. Johanssen. Not myself. Hey, is that unauthorized chocolate over there? Be right back.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A black Lincoln Continental pulls into the driveway. Jake Morgendorffer emerges. At sixty-eight he now looks like he did in the future secene at the end of 'Write Where It Hurts', except that he still has some brown locks among the gray hair. As he approaches the house he has a thought."

  • Barb Wire (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'So, anyway,' Quinn said. 'I was waiting in line behind Skyler at Starbucks. He got, like, I don't know, a vente, and I got an expresso, and I was - !' ' - wait a minute,' Sandi said. 'What was that you got?'"

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 12): "Commander Ramirez walked into the library and sat down in a chair across from Daria. In an already tired voice she said, 'Daria, as much as I hate to say it you are about to become the first Martian war reporter.'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 10): "It was Saturday morning and Erin was out at bed early. All of her clothes, even the loathsome skirt, were laid on the bed or hung from every possible hook. Erin nibbled on toast while she combined outfits in her mind."

  • Esteem Loudly (Iron Chef: Lisa Loud or Daria Morgendorffer?), by EntrancedCat (part 1): "I watched Dad's head swivel and bob as he navigated the boat of our massive new SUV through the still unfamiliar streets of Lawndale, MD. I had mixed hopes and desires that he and his passengers were headed in the right direction or that he would give up and we could all go home for another day."

  • Evil Deed Blues, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 4): "No matter how many years passed, stepping foot inside a principal's office still filled her with dread."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Lawndale High was every bit as terrible as Daria predicted. Fifteen minutes into new student orientation and she already wanted to gouge her eyes out."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 32): "'This is not what I had in mind for my life,' she said. 'I don't want to be a witch.' 'Sweetie, I love you no matter what you are,' said Helen. She did the only thing she could think of doing, and gave her daughter a hug."

  • The Paris Commune (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jake Morgendorffer drove his two daughters up to the front of Lawndale High School. 'Just be glad your mother isn't with us in this car,' Jake said."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 29): "'Girls?' Helen called up to her daughters currently in the living room, 'Could you come into the kitchen for a moment? Your father and I would like to talk to you.'"

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 19): "Daria climbed the stairs very quickly ... yet her brain was running faster than her. She was looking for a possible explanation for what happened but she couldn't find one. So she thought of a story that might seem plausible."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 153): "Tom Sloane waited impatiently for the elevator to take him up to Sandi Griffin's office. He knew he needed to update her on QMS Manufacturing and the newest sticky wicket. Joan had told him that his was something that could be handled but even so - 'when in doubt, elevate'."

Friday, October 26, 2018

Dawn is the Newest Spice Girl, Pumpkin Spice


Although not given a prominent role on the show, Dawn is helping us all to celebrate National Pumpkin Day! In fact, I think she gets more screen time as an alter ego than she ever did as an actual Daria character. Still, serving as a round orange vegetable makes up for it, right?

If pumpkins aren't spooky enough for your Halloween season, then you might prefer to celebrate Frankenstein Friday instead. Just remember two important facts: Frankenstein was the name of the scientist, not the monster; and no one likes a pedant.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

The Hero Lawndale Deserves


Jane is dressed in a just-different-enough-to-avoid-a-lawsuit version of the Batman outfit in honor of late comic book writer Bob Kane's birth on this day in 1915. She did say she wanted to be a bat, although she seemed more interested in sleeping upside-down and spreading rabies than in fighting crime. Still, she's finally getting her wish!

Today is also Food Day, so celebrate by eating food if you weren't planning to do that already. If you need some inspiration, this also happens to be National Bologna Day, so help yourself to some questionable meat-like product if you aren't too particular about what goes into your digestive system.

Fanfic Update!
  • Anniversary, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Evening. Dr. Calan's appartement. Dr. Calan and Quinn are coming in. Dr. Calan is carrying several bags. Quinn looks approximately six months pregnant."

  • Bobbie Caller, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Daria didn't see Bobbie again until Monday. She missed home room, although she did hand a permission slip to Mr. De Martino just as the students were leaving for their classes. Daria didn't have a chance to talk with Bobbie until after French class."

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 10): "'I can't keep my hands off you.' Jane said as she lurched for Daria. The petite brunette lay under her, belly-side-down, like a piece of buttery toast."

  • Daria Drinks in China, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'More fucking beer!' Daria demanded, slamming a fist down on the table she and Jane shared at the bar."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 9): "Arriving at work on Monday morning, Erin had not taken her coat off before Anne pounced. 'How did it go?' Anne asked,' Was he dreamy?' Erin smirked. 'Do you mean before the marriage proposal or after? Because they were very different experiences'"

  • Evil Deed Blues, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Blinding sunlight filtered in through the gaps in Monique's blinds and roused her from a fitful sleep. Her dreams were plagued by visions of faceless monsters and endless mazes, not the most refreshing way to spend the night."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 22): "For miles and miles they had traveled, based on nothing more than the printed directions Daria had gotten for the trip back when she was still in Lawndale."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Stacy Rowe was born scared. Okay, that was probably a major exaggeration on her part but, for as long as she could remember, she'd been seized by an overwhelming sense of dread."

  • Hell-oween (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim are getting ready for bed. Jim is sitting up in bed and looks really distraught, which Quinn notices. 'Jim, honey, what's wrong?'" (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Metamorphoses, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Calan's office. Quinn and Dr. Calan are talking. Dr. Calan (benevolent) : How are things, my sweet Quinn ? I hope your parents aren't too harsh with you."

  • The Montana Cabin Fund is going to LIT!!! (Iron Chef: MegaMillions), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: It's WHUB 98.5 and This must be Daria and Jane! I'm Jane and Why does your name come first? DARIA: This is Daria and I think it's Branding? Hell if I know? But we have some important stuff we need to talk about."

  • The Turn Around, by Silberias (COMPLETE!): "Trent knew he had to take care of his baby sister—no one else in his family was going to do it, and Daria had left for college. Sure, she'd be back, and Janey had taken care of herself just fine before Daria Morgendorffer, but this was something big."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 152): "Mack drove up to the Bel Air home of producer Nicholas Leppner and award-winning actress Jennifer Collins. The plan was that he would meet Carter's parents and have dinner."