Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Yeah! I Mean, Fore!


I think Jesse's impersonation of Tiger Woods on the golfer's birthday needs some work, but it's the only golf alter ego I could come up with. Jake would have been more appropriate, or maybe Jodie with her golf lessons. Still, golf being a relatively quiet sport, I suppose Jesse would fit right in.

Today is also Bacon Day for those fans of cured pork (or those people who just don't have enough cholesterol in their system). I dare you to wave some greasy bacon at Quinn and see what happens!

Fandom News!

Monday, December 28, 2020

"Deal me in."


Mack's showing an impressive card-holding skill for Card Playing Day, but let's see if he's as good at playing cards as he is at fanning them out. He'd better be; I hear the Future Morgendorffers play a mean game of hearts.

Today is also National Chocolate Candy Day, but as far as I'm concerned every day should be National Chocolate Candy Day. Just a thought.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 21): "'Alone in the woods again.' Jane said, walking hand in hand with Jesse. 'Yeah.' he said."

  • I STAY, by O-L-D-D (part 3): "Hands thumped against the steering wheel in frustration as Jane sighed and gave up."

  • Star Trek: Voyager: Q Junior's Lessons, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'These are very heavy,' Junior complained as he approached the turbolift. ‘Why wasn’t the Intrepid class designed with turbolift access to the Shuttle Bay?’ he wondered."

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Float Like a Fashionista


Stacy's got her game face on for Boxing Day, which has more to do with shopping than the sport of boxing. Then again, maybe this is Stacy's preferred method of shopping? If so, I pity the shoppers (or Sandi) who get in her way today.

Today is also Kwanzaa, and I assume the Guptys will be reading "Kinesha's First Kwanzaa" to celebrate. With any luck, Tad and Tricia's training will kick in and they'll contribute all kinds of fun commentary along the way.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Save a Little For Everyone Else, Jake!


Okay, so Jake's clearly drinking milk and not eggnog for National Eggnog Day, but it was the best I could come up with. I hope Daria steers clear of the drink, because the last thing we need is another out-of-season-nog-nightmare about holidays.

Today is also Christmas Eve, so be sure to leave some (not expired) nog and cookies out for Santa tonight! I wonder what the Holiday Island version of Christmas Eve is like. Maybe an "X" hanger-on who keeps cutting in line ahead of him?

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (parts 19 and 20): "Jesse hoped it wouldn’t be unromantic to bring a flashlight to this rendezvous. Then again, nothing was sexy about skinning your knee in the dark." (Part 20

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 57): "Daniel was happy his improvised plan had worked. However next friday was more than a week away and things weren't improving."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 39): "Daria did not sleep that well that night. The Warings’ Floo connection bothered her."

  • Double faced (Iron Chef: Secret Genius Quinn), by JPAGC (part 1): "Dear diary: We finally arrived in Lanwdale, Maryland. Unfortunately, we ended up taking almost four hours longer than we should have, as Dad ignored my suggestion of taking the I75 and I85."

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

It's Not Over Until the Fashionista Sings


Quinn's just getting warmed up for her big opera performance in honor of Giacomo Puccini's birth on this day in 1858. She'll be part of the command performance of the composer's opera Madame Butterfly in the automotive department at Payday.

In more modern birthdays, today is also actor Ralph Fiennes's birthday! I'm sure Amy will be giving him a call to pass along her best wishes. Or a request for a date. Or at least to lift the restraining order.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Fa La LA La La!


Daria is celebrating Go Caroling Day, and if that wasn't a screen capture from an alternate reality episode of Beavis and Butt-head then I'd be truly concerned. Everyone say hi to Daria's nonexistent boyfriend!

Fanfic Update!
  • All Get Out (Iron Chef: It's A Wonderful Daria), by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "'Well, this is something'. The Zon was a dingy grunge club in what passed for downtown in Lawndale."

  • Balmora Confidential (General "Daria in Morrowind" Thread), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria had finally decided it was time to tell someone about what Synda had done to her. Or more specifically, to tell Jane."

  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 18): "'And let’s see what exciting activities we have for camp today!' Skip said, opening the cabin door."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "After the Doctor, and her companions (with the help of UNIT and Torchwood), had defeated the Drahvins, the Doctor, as usual, didn’t stay around to mop up in the aftermath of the invasion. She and her companions had hurried back to the TARDIS and left the Azores."

  • Dysfunction Junction (Life Goes On), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Psychiatrist Lisa Barone was sitting in a chair while Quinn, Jim and the triplets sat directly across from her on a sofa."

  • RA Holidays 2020: Is this year over yet?, by DIsaac (part 3): "DARIA: So no family? KEVIN: My dad is scared of your dad after that Thanksgiving a few years ago. DARIA: Yeah, that happened."

  • Run As Fast As You Can To Stay Still (Iron Chef: It's A Wonderful Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane had been waging a minor battle against Coach Morris and her quite unsubtle cheerleading practice in Gym class, and Morris had been, as she did, retaliating with overgrown school bullying."

Friday, December 18, 2020

Joey and Jeffy Have Taken the Rivalry Too Far!


I'm really not sure which is stranger: that National Roast Suckling Pig Day exists as a holiday, or that someone working on the Daria alter egos decided that Jamie needed to be a roast suckling pig. I mean, the combination was too good for me to resist, but it really does raise some questions.

Today is also the anniversary of two essays by Michelle Klein-Häss: Control Room Update: The Battle Has Been Joined! and Daria Fandom: A Question of Gratitude, both posted on this day in 1998. Enjoy a taste of old-school fandom!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

A Cynic in Possession of a Good Fortune


Quinn and Daria are wishing Jane Austen a happy birthday, complete with a bracing spot of tea and a vapor-curing powder. Daria is likely a fan, if only because she did a very good job of parodying the author's work in "Write Where it Hurts."

I happen to be an Austen fan, but I'll be spending most of my day celebrating National Chocolate Covered Anything Day because, well, chocolate! I really am the Mrs. Johanssen of the fandom, aren't I?

Fanfic Update!
  • Dysfunction Junction, by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Quinn is alone in the office talking on the phone. Quinn: 'Sandi, I wanna apologize for my family's behavior last night.'"

  • The Horn Identity (General "Daria in Morrowind" Thread), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Dad hadn’t shaved his horns in a while."

  • I STAY, by O-L-D-D (part 2): "The universe has a sadistic sense of humour as right across the street from that very party, a certain dark-haired artist was sitting bored in a living room."

  • Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'You’re here just in time,' Helen said to her daughters as they entered the kitchen. 'Dinner is ready.'"

  • Nuclear Family, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Honey, I'm home!' Quinn called out as she walked into the front door. She hung her fedora on the hat rack, loosened her tie, and plopped down in her armchair. 'Boy, you would not believe the day I had at work.'"

Monday, December 14, 2020

Munch a Bunch of Your Nutty Friend's Soup!


Daria and Kevin are ready to take your orders for Roast Chestnuts Day, but they can only sell you the nuts. You'll have to roast them yourself, unless you piss off Daria--then she'll roast you for free.

If chestnuts aren't your thing, then you could celebrate National Bouillabaisse Day instead. I mean, it's just fish soup, but it sure sounds fancy, doesn't it?

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 12, 2020

See You in the Funny Papers!


Looks like Mr. DeMartino is having as hard a time with the Katzenjammer Kids, from a comic that debuted on this day in 1897, as he does with the students at Lawndale High. I'm just trying to figure out if the two children are alter egos of any Daria characters. Joey and Jamie, maybe?

Today is also National Ding-a-Ling Day, so this would be a good day for Mack to wear his little hat and ring that bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. A-ling. Or maybe the holiday is just an overall description of Kevin. You decide!

Fanfic Update!
  • Arena (General "Daria in Morrowind" Thread), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria hated to admit it, but she kind of liked Drenlyn Academy’s library. Considering that Drenlyn existed only to help rich outlanders and rich natives exploit one another, it was remarkable that someone had taken great care in choosing the 64 books that rested on the library’s shelves."

  • Daria: Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (part 22): "It was late afternoon, the day after Uncle Ben had come back from the Cedars of Lawndale. Jane and Daria had walked home together. Track practice had been cancelled, and Daria snapped up the opportunity to walk home with her best friend."

  • Dysfunction Junction (Life Goes On), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn was seated at the vanity putting on a gold ear ring. Her hair was styled in an upward pony tail with curled bangs and she was wearing a black evening dress that was both sexy and elegant."

  • I STAY, by O-L-D-D (part 1): "It should not have been such an alien feeling. It had not been the first time that Daria Morgendorffer had flown solo; so why did it depress her now more than it had ever done in her lifetime?"

Thursday, December 10, 2020

What Rhymes With "Menorah"?


Rabbi Trent is getting ready to celebrate eight crazy nights of Hanukkah, starting at sundown tonight! Although I'm not sure a narcoleptic would mix well with open flames, rabbi or not. Still, happy Hanukkah to all of the Jewish Daria fans!

Today is also both Human Rights Day and International Animal Rights Day, so I guess everyone's covered except the plants. Won't someone think of those poor plants?
Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

You Could Even Put an Ugly Sweater on Your Tree!


If Helen and Jake are looking for their Christmas tree for National Christmas Tree Day, then they're sadly off the mark (turn AROUND, you guys!). I am amused that they store their tree fully decorated, including the star. That must save some time.

Also on the topic of Christmas, today is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day! Don't tell the Fashion Club...oh, who am I kidding? We've got to tell them. Imagine their horrified faces! It'll be hilarious.
Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 17): "'Look, sweetheart,' said Doug, 'We would’ve had it all done today, but you made me fire two new workers.'"

  • Daria: Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (part 21): "Light. There was light shining in his eyes. He didn’t think he was dead. If he was, he didn’t think he’d be lying down."

  • Unnamed story (IC : Daria doesn't need glasses), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Superman took a round-a-bout route returning from his Arctic Fortress of Solitude to alter ego secret identity Clark Kent’s apartment in Metropolis."

Sunday, December 6, 2020

A Poem as Lovely as a Tree


Happy birthday to poet Alfred Joyce Kilmer, born on this day in 1886. The library in Lawndale was named after Kilmer, and I feel like there's probably a fanfic in there somewhere. Why Kilmer? Did he have some kind of connection to Lawndale? Or was it all just a ploy to make a cheap "tree" visual gag?

Today is also the anniversary of the Altamont Free Concert in 1969, which Jake not only attended but received a refund for. Gouka Ryuu wrote a short scene about it, and I would love to see more.

Fandom News!

Friday, December 4, 2020

Dibs on the Chocolate Chip!


Helen and Rita are clearly having second thoughts about celebrating National Cookie Day today, but I would point out that no one says the cookies have to be baked. Crack open the tubes and chow down, ladies! Also, Creepy Cookie Bearing Daria from the pilot had better keep her distance. I mean it. I don't care if the cookies are shaped like hearts; the person holding the tray wants to eat my soul!

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 56): "Mrs. Bennett was a nice woman. Daniel was almost sure she was quite competent in her subject... Yet she was terrible at explaining things."

  • Daria: Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 19 and 20): "Rikka dialed Aunt Helen’s and Uncle Jake’s number and prayed that somebody would finally pick it up before the answering machine kicked in." (Part 20)

  • Life Goes On: A Christmas Special, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Quinn's Cadillac Escalade driving along the road. Zoom in to show it's actually Jim driving the SUV. He's hunting for a real Christmas Tree. He looks pissed." (Part 6)

  • RA Holidays 2020: Is this year over yet?, by DIsaac (part 2): "DANI: Quiet, I really wonder what Stacy does after a show. She has been in crazy mode since this went down. I should be on guard around her knowing our history... heck knowing our history."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Life with nothing but the clothes on his back was hard for Tom. That they were his sister’s clothes made it even harder."

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Send In the Economics Teachers


Not sure if Mrs. Bennett is trying to be the tallest teacher at Lawndale High or she's celebrating the anniversary of Charles Ringling's birth on this day in 1863. Ringling, of course, was one of the owners of the Ringling Brothers Circus, and if Ms. Li finds out one of her teachers is trying to turn her school into a literal circus she's going to be furious. Hold on while I make some popcorn.

Today is also Britney Spears's birthday, and I only bring it up so you know that I could have used the Ms. Barch-as-Britney alter ego instead. You're welcome.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 30, 2020

A Good Day for Satire!


Daria's taking a solemn moment to think about Samuel Clemens (also known as Mark Twain) on the anniversary of his birth on this day in 1835. Of course, solemn wouldn't describe a humorist like Twain, so maybe she should consider reverting to her usual sarcasm.

Also on the subject of satirists, today is also the anniversary of the birth of Jonathan Swift on this day in 1667. Tip for those who don't know (and they're out there): his Modest Proposal had nothing to do with asking anyone to marry him.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 16): "Quinn stepped out of the taxi and waited for the driver to unload her luggage. This was going to take awhile, so Quinn took a good look at her old house."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 55): "The next day, Daniel and the members of the school newspaper were having lunch at their usual table. As expected, what happened in the men's locker room had become public knowledge."

  • Daria in the Background (IC : Daria doesn't need glasses), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer just wanted to be left alone. As she had grown up she had found she was different to the other children, and to her sister Quinn."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "Alpha and the Synth were in Transporter Room 1, along with a replicated coracle, which the Synth would use to board the distressed ship. 'Ready for transport?' Alpha asked."

  • Life Goes On: A Christmas Special, by WildDogJJ (parts 2 - 4): "Quinn and Jim are pacing nervously. They've just found out that some troll deleted Quinn's YouTube channel, de-monetized Jim's channel and suspended their Patreon." (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • RA Holidays 2020: Is this year over yet?, by DIsaac (part 1): "JODIE: Guys... DARIA: Nope. JODIE: I haven’t even said what was needed from you guys."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Artie's Abduction), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "'Get out of here, Artie!' 'Wait!' Artie said, holding up a hand. 'I won't--'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'Whoa, Kevin, you made it with Lisa?' asked Joey. 'Yeah, she does this awesome thing with her tongue!' Kevin answered."

Saturday, November 28, 2020

It's Mr. Potato'Neill!


I see Mr. O'Neill is taking Make Your Own Head Day a bit literally, but that's okay because it's still probably an improvement over his old one. I'd love to see Jane's artistic twist on creating a head. I'm sure it would be delightfully disturbing.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Here's Looking at You, Kiddo


Trent and Daria are re-creating the iconic final scene from the movie Casablanca, which premiered on this day in 1942. I like this alter ego, if only because as an anti-shipper I know that it means Daria's about to go far, far away from Trent. Yay!

Of course, let's not forget that in the United States, today is also Thanksgiving! You can either eat until you drop or try to cope with your messed-up family problems; your choice. Whatever you do, save room for dessert because today is also National Cake Day. I know that pie is traditional on Thanksgiving, but come on: who's going to turn down cake?

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany - Party Time, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Donna saw Andrea come into the kitchen. 'You’re here. Good,' she said."

  • Life Goes On: A Christmas Special, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria: 'I can't believe I'm freezing my ass off in front of a suburban elementary school.' Jane: 'Daria, it's a light December snowfall, not the harsh January blizzard we endured on that ill fated mountain excursion back in high school.'"

  • Therefore I Am, by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "Thanksgiving wasn’t a holiday that Jane cared about. She loved gorging herself with food as much as the next person but, after having to endure an entire day with her family, turkey was no reward."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "As Jesse slowly approached Ruttheimer manor, he reminded himself why he was doing this. It was for Jane and Daria, who didn’t deserve to be enslaved by a madman."

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

"Darwin's the Monkey Guy, Right? I Like Monkeys!"


I don't know if the Three Js have any nieces or nephews, but they are definitely set on celebrating All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day. I can already picture Quinn's horrified reaction.

Of course, the reason for this holiday is that it's Evolution Day, also known as the anniversary of the publication of Darwin's On the Origin of Species in 1859. Mostly today was just an excuse to post a picture of monkeys. Ook ook ook!

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Go Nuts, Jake!


Jake's worried because he's not sure the nut he's holding is fancy enough for National Cashew Day. After all, cashews "are what the big guys eat...the CEOs!" No point wasting his time with a lowly peanut, right?

Today is also the anniversary of "Her, Uh, Cane" by paperpusher. While it wasn't the first ever Daria fanfic, it is currently the earliest Daria story posted on fanfiction.net, published on this day in 1998.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 15): "'And then you glue some googly eyes on like so,' Jane demonstrated to the rest of the arts and crafts class. 'And there you have it! Your very own sock puppet! I’m going to name mine Humberto Basilio Federico Venceslás de Salvador y Gutierre.'"

  • Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "At Jane’s place, Daria had found a working VCR. 'Finally,' she said, as she put the tape in the machine. She turned to Jane who had taken out a large sketchbook. 'Ready?'"

  • Unnamed story (The 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Tom walked up to the door of his house, wondering why his feet hurt so much. He opened the door and saw his father, looking very cross. Bad day at work?"

Friday, November 20, 2020

Is It Adulthood Yet?


Young Quinn's just thrilled to learn that today is Universal Children's Day, while Young Daria clearly could not care less. I guess I'd be less than enthusiastic too if I had to share a backseat with that much hyperactivity.

Today is also Absurdity Day, so do something absurd, I guess? Then again, the truly absurd thing to do today would be nothing absurd at all. Go nuts...or not.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Does that Skull Make Her Look Fat?


Tiffany's delving into the deep, dark mysteries of life for Occult Day, which is weird because usually there's nothing deep at all about Tiffany. Maybe she's trying to learn more about Stacy's voodoo curses?

Today is also the anniversary of the tragedy at Jonestown in 1978, an event referred to reverently, almost lovingly by Mr. DeMartino at the beginning of the episode "Pinch Sitter." Not sure if he was envious of the cult leader's ability to command respect or just longing for the sweet release of death.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria: Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (part 18): "'Help!' shouted the little girl. Irwin Samuels turned his head to see what was happening."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "They waited another few moments and then jumped out again. Two more Drahvins fell to the floor. However, the Drahvins were growing wise to their strategy. They were holding back."

  • The Imitation, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Melody Powers drove at full speed away from the communist hideout, quietly counting down the seconds until-- BOOM!"

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria was seated at her desk typing while her cat, Godzilla, was off to the side grooming himself when the phone rang. She immediately answered." (Part 19)

  • People Who Didn't Talk, by MarinaTheBloody (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat in Trent’s bright yellow car that didn’t smell like cigarettes and thought back to last summer."

Monday, November 16, 2020

Mmm...Cholesterol Poisoning....


Looks like Daria has opted to celebrate National Fast Food Day by actually eating the burger instead of sticking it in her boots to enjoy the squishy, squishy feeling around her toes. Good call.

This is also Button Day, and you can choose whether to join Jake in repairing a button on a shirt (why is the eye of that needle so small?) or copy Daria's bold move in piercing--and then removing said piercing from--your belly button. The possibilities are endless!

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 14, 2020

She Don't Want No Scrubs


Brittany's scrubbed up and ready to perform surgery on Operating Room Nurse Day! Personally, I'll pass. Not that I have anything against her, personally, but I don't think I want to be cut open by anyone who doesn't know her right from her left.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, so watch that blood sugar and do not take Mr. O'Neill's advice about spoonfuls of sugar. Otherwise you might end up in the operating room with Nurse Brittany.

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany - Party Time, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'I don’t know why you had to drop me,' Brian complained as Brittany turned the corner to his school."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "The Baffin went to warp. But something happened at the same time, and the ship shuddered and then dropped out of warp again. 'Report!' Emerson barked through the red alert klaxon."

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 15 - 17): "Kevin and Brittany were waking up. Kevin felt on top of the world while Brittany felt absolutely mortified. The reason was that she'd spent the previous night having sex with Kevin instead of her lover, Daryl, and enjoyed every second of it." (Part 16) (Part 17

  • Star Trek: Voyager: Q Junior's Lessons, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Janeway and Chakotay stopped after a run around Deck 8. 'How is Q Junior settling in?' Chakotay asked."

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Some Holiday Inventor REALLY Hated Anchovies!


Daria and Tom would be celebrating National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day, except that from the looks of it their pizza has everything except cheese. Also, there's that whole Daria-breaking-Tom's-heart-into-a-million-pieces thing.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Auguste Rodin in 1840. Sadly, it turned out that Daria was wrong and Steve Taylor's lawn jockey statue was not an original Rodin but instead a malicious forgery.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

R is for Reading!


Just look how happy/creepy Daria is about today being the anniversary of the beloved children's TV show Sesame Street! The show first aired on this day in 1969, and for a Daria/Sesame Street fanfic crossover that's both funny and heartwarming, check out D is for Daria by Mike Xeno.

If you're in the mood for more children's nostalgia, curl up with an old favorite from your youth for Young Readers Day! Daria will probably pull out her old copy of Black Beauty, but I'm sure it just isn't the same without the cardboard box to sit in.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 14): "The campers and counselor’s from the Pink Cabin were gathered by the pier in swimwear. 'OK,' said Amelia. 'Who knows a good swimming safety rule?' No one volunteered. 'Come on! One of you has to know something! Joanna?'"

  • Commitment Issues, by fringeperson (COMPLETE!): "Something was bothering Daria. It was keeping her up too, which was frustrating even if it was Friday night and she didn't have to think of school tomorrow."

  • Daria: Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (part 17): "RIkka Morgendorffer came home from school and knocked on the front door. Her Dad opened it; Rikka saw that he was wearing a dress shirt, grey trousers, and necktie. Uh-oh, she thought."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Alpha heard a noise. She turned and saw Nina enter the Bridge. She saw that she had rested and smiled. 'You are ready for duty?'"

  • The Imitation, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Brittany invited me to her party.' Daria, still looking at Jane's sketchbook, glanced at her friend out of the corner of her eye to see how she'd react. She wasn't disappointed."

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 13 and 14): "Daria Morgendorffer, then a grad student at Boston State, was coming home from a day of studying and classes toward her PhD. She entered the apartment that she shared with her best friend, Jane." (Part 14)

  • The More Things Change... (Iron Chef: Daria Characters React to 2020), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God.' Helen almost didn't hear her own words over Jake's enthusiastic cheering at the computer as CNN declared Joe Biden the projected winner of the 2020 election."

  • Vampires, by Accelaa (part 1): "'...Your assignment will be due next Thursday, the first day of the fair. Does anyone have any questions...?'"

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Don't Cook Any Bold Inkblots!


If you look closely at that inkblot, you will see that it's the anniversary of Hermann Rorschach's birth in 1884! Or a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains. I forget how these things work.

Today is also Cook Something Bold Day, but the rest of the Morgendorffers are pleading with Jake to sit this one out. For the love of God, man, have a little mercy!

Fandom News!

Friday, November 6, 2020

Did Lincoln Enjoy Nachos?


Looks like George Washington is giving Abraham Lincoln a high five to celebrate the anniversary of Lincoln's election to the presidency on this day in 1860. Of course, since the two are actually personifications of a single holiday, perhaps I should say that President's Day is giving itself a high five? Man, holidays are confusing.

Today is also National Nacho Day, something that certain former associates of Daria Morgendorffer will find interesting. Of course, I'm not going to name any names here. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 13): "Jane looked at the camp schedule as she ate breakfast."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 54): "The start of a new week meant having to deal with coach Gibson again. And Daniel didn't like that."

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 10 - 12): "Helen Morgendorffer was mingling with her colleagues at the Maryland Bar Association. The occasion was a party they were throwing for her as today she was turning 65, though a few times she said she was turning 59 before correcting herself." (Part 11) (Part 12)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Elsie watched the angry mob forming outside Stately Sloane Manor. Well, with the way they tore down the gates, it wasn't going to be stately for long."

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Jake, I'm Looking at You, Too!


I think Mr. DeMartino needs to take Check Your Blood Pressure Day seriously, because, well. Look at him! I think he's going to literally explode at any moment.

Today is also National Candy Day, which poses an interesting dilemma for me: eat the candy and raise my blood pressure or not eat the candy and raise my blood pressure anyway because I'm mad I can't eat the candy? Choices, choices.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 2, 2020

The Eccentric and the Queen


I don't think Tom/Howard Hughes is in any condition to recreate Howard Hughes's famous flight on the Spruce Goose on this day in 1947. Although, maybe if he trims those fingernails....

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Marie Antoinette in 1755. Her story may have had a tragic end, but her legend will live on in--ahem--champagne glasses.

And if you live in the United States and haven't done so already, please VOTE tomorrow!

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 12): "It was after lights out. Jane was about to drift off when she heard Daria’s voice from the bunk above her."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Harkness! UNIT and I definitely need your help,' the Doctor said."

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 7 - 9): "Daria sat in her apartment typing on her computer. In the previous few months she'd fully established herself as a New Yorker. She was doing well at her job." (Part 8) (Part 9)

  • Missing You (IC: Make a Daria Character a Killer), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "It had been five years since Daria disappeared one night in Boston. She’d been in her way home from work to her and Janes apartment but she never made it."

  • Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Iris Johansen was down in her basement. She got the thing she wanted. And started up. There was no ring of the doorbell. There was certainly no one at her step selling chocolates..."

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Dawn Looks Good in Orange!


Nothing like waiting until the last minute for Carve a Pumpkin Day, since Halloween is also today. Although going door-to-door during a pandemic might be a bad idea, so I suppose it's not like we have anything else to do today.

Today is also Girl Scouts Founders Day, so I hope Jane decides to celebrate with a round of John Jacob Jingleheimer Somebody.

Fandom News!
  • Share your thoughts on the new adaptation of Rebecca.

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Here, Kitty Kitty?


I don't think Jake should be celebrating National Cat Day like this, because if there's one thing I know about cats it's that they like their personal space. They're like Daria, only more likely to scratch your face off if you piss them off.

In fact, I recommend celebrating National Hermit Day instead. These days, we're all kind of celebrating our inner hermit. And no, Quinn, I did not say "Kermit."

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (parts 10 and 11): "While Link ate his breakfast he texted with his friend, Brandon." (Part 11)

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 4 - 6): "Quinn was on her way home from her visit with Stacy. As she pulled her car into the driveway of her and Jim's house she saw a yellow Hummer pull into the driveway next door." (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • To a Tea (IC: Make a Daria Character a Killer), by paisleygal (COMPLETE!): "Eric smiled as he pulled up to the Morgendorffer home. He should be ashamed of himself, but he wasn’t."

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Once Upon a Time....


Daria's captivating her peers on National Tell a Story Day, and while she's got their attention I think she should offer them some of her updated fairy tales as well. Helen will be in shortly with another of her vampire stories...hopefully the G-rated version.

Today is also Navy Day, and I invite Mr. DeMartino to consider his options. He'd always dreamed of a life at sea, and even at his age active combat has got to be more appealing than dealing with Kevin and Brittany.

Fandom News!

Sunday, October 25, 2020

I Don't Think Even Cheerleaders Are Supposed to Bend Like That


Brittany's either trying out a radical new cheer or she's celebrating the anniversary of the birth of Pablo Picasso on this day in 1881. Honestly, as awkward as that looks it still seems less painful than the splits.

In fact, we should be celebrating more than just Picasso today, because it's International Artist's Day! Of course, if you ask Jane she'll tell you that every day is International Artist's Day. Just kidding--she'll tell you that it's yet another holiday manufactured by greeting companies to sell...art, I guess? I don't really know how it works.

If visual arts aren't your thing, you could also celebrate World Opera Day. I'll be attending the command performance of Madame Butterfly in the automotive department.

Fanfic Update!
  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (parts 2 and 3): "Quinn and Nicole were seated at the kitchen table catching up. Nicole and Jamie were staying with Quinn and Jim while in town for the wedding." (Part 3)

Friday, October 23, 2020

Make Them STOP!


Daria and Jane are smiling way too much for National TV Talk Show Host Day, but I'm sure that's only because the producer slipped something into their coffee. Daria's smile isn't too bad, but I'm getting "I baked these cookies for you" flashbacks from Jane.

Today is also the anniversary of the Fashion Club's cameo appearance on the webcomic Mall Monkeys on this day in 2002. I'm sure the girls were appalled to learn they were involved in something so...so...geeky.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Try Focusing Your NEGATIVE Energy This Time!


Jake, Helen, and their hippie friends are taking another shot at levitating the Pentagon in honor of the anniversary of the real life attempt to do the same on this day in 1967. I wish them every success, but advise Jake to avoid kicking any buildings this time around. I'm not sure his foot could take any more punishment.

Today is also the anniversary of the first Daria VHS tape, titled "Daria," in 1997. I know, what breaktaking creativity! The tape included the previously-unseen pilot, "Sealed With a Kick," so hooray for creepy smiles on low-quality media!

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany - Esteem of the Transfer Student, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Angela Li heard the knock at her office door. 'Come in,' she said. Brittany entered. 'Hi, Ms. Li.'"

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 53): "The following Sunday passed quietly enough. Daniel woke up later than usual and ate breakfast. Sure, his parents pummeled him with questions about what exactly he and Quinn had done the day before ..."

  • Life Goes On, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "For the second time in her life Daria Morgendorffer was attending a wedding ceremony at the rose garden of Winged Tree Country Club."

Monday, October 19, 2020

"Oh rapture, oh ecstasy--another scintillating computer game."


Twenty years ago today, the video game Daria's Inferno was released. Given the game's age, it would be difficult to play it today, but that's probably for the best. It had its fun moments, but those steam tunnels were the worst.

Today is also Evaluate Your Life Day, so why not take some advice from Jake Morgendorffer? "Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Or maybe you could just think about getting more exercise.

Fandom News!

Saturday, October 17, 2020

I Guess It Still Beats Frozen Lasagna


While Jake is right to celebrate National Pasta Day with a bowl of penne a la pesto, I think his technique needs a little work. Plus, I can tell from here that it's oxidizing.

Today is also one of the Fashion Club's least favorite holidays, Wear Something Gaudy Day. I can already hear Stacy freaking out that her outfit isn't quite gaudy enough.

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany - Esteem of the Transfer Student, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Daria sighed as she followed Brittany, Kevin and Donna into the Pizza place. She took Brittany aside after they ordered the pizzas. 'Do you think you can tell Ms. Li that I’m fitting in?'"

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Of course I will, Doctor, there is no point in remaining in it!' Kellira said. She turned to the guards who were waiting for her near the door. 'Guards; March! Leave this Time Lord Timeship,' she ordered."

  • Oh, Brother (The Carbones), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn: 'So, boys, how was school?' Tommy: 'Awesome. I told a joke and all the other kids loved it, but then the stupid teacher threatened me with detention.'"

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Students With Filthy Hands


The students of Lawndale High seem pretty underwhelmed that today is World Students' Day, but if you had to attend Lawndale High you'd be just as unenthusiastic. Maybe Mr. DeMartino will use the day to regain his love for teaching! (Spoiler alert: he will not.)

Today is also Global Handwashing Day, and I encourage everyone to celebrate this one extra hard not just today, but every day. This holiday has never been more relevant than now!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Can They Do Anything About 2020 in General?


Daria and Jane are so happy that today is International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction, because Kevin's mighty helmet of a head ended the big, wet rainstorm before it killed everyone in Lawndale! Yay! Although I'm not sure that's the approach the UN typically recommends.

Today is also potentially the anniversary of the earliest post on the Paperpusher's Message Board in 1999. Apparently the exact earliest date is not known, but I'm sure archaeologists are working nonstop to crack the mystery of that ancient time.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 9): "'Ow!' Link flinched as Helen tried to comb his hair in the hallway of the Lawndale courthouse. 'Helen, you need to get my hair wet before you comb it. And I already combed it this morning!'"

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Extra, Extra!


Daria seems pretty grateful for International Newspaper Carrier Day, because without it how would she get her newspaper without having to leave her own house? Just imagine the horror of it!

Today is also It's My Party Day, and if you think Daria's going to celebrate this one, then you are definitely new to this fandom. Go check with Brittany; her parents might be out of town again.

Fandom News!

Friday, October 9, 2020

Only You Can Prevent Kitchen Fires!


Jake is clearly not off to a good start for Fire Prevention Day, but the good news is that he gets another nice, relaxing stay at a hotel. Right up until Quinn screws something up again. Which should be any minute.

Today is also the day Entertainment Weekly declared Daria a toon diva in 1998, a title she shared with Tinkerbell, Veronica, and...Foghorn Leghorn? You got me.

Fanfic Update!
  • Bringing Light to a Black Day, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Daria had to give it up for her dad’s ineptitude when it came to home repairs; due to his attempts to increase the temperature on the hot water heater somehow breaking it completely, in spite of the fact that all he’d needed to do was turn one knob, she had the house all to herself until the plumber could get there the next day."

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Meee-OW!


Mr. O'Neill wants everyone to know that today is the anniversary of the musical "Cats," which debuted on Broadway on this day in 1982. Between this and his stint as the Lawndale Lion in "I Loathe a Parade," I'm starting to wonder if Mr. O'Neill is secretly a furry. And, if so, what does Ms. Barch think of it?

Today is also International Walk to School Day, but in light of recent events this holiday may not be for everyone. Back in the Before Time, Daria and Jane walked to school every day, so I think they're pretty much covered.

Fandom News!

Monday, October 5, 2020

Does This Mean Jodie is a Bond Girl?


Mack's clearly enjoying the anniversary of Dr. No, the first James Bond movie, which was released on this day in 1962. Either that or he's come up with a very creative way to get away from Kevin.

Today is also World Teacher's Day, and I hope Mr. DeMartino in particular is having a good one. At the very least, I hope he doesn't have to put up with Kevin Thompson. Otherwise, would someone please get him his own jetpack?

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany - Esteem of the Transfer Student, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Once they had ordered their pizza’s they found a booth. 'So, we were going to talk about ourselves?' Brittany asked."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 52): "'Partypartyparty!' Quinn exclaimed as she, her brother and Heather walked towards the building where the party in question was taking place."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 38): "Daria carefully stepped past the edge of the fireplace then stood up. 'Good, you made it,' said Anahita. who’d flooed in just before Daria."

  • Daria's sexuality crisis, by tawog (COMPLETE!): "Daria was never one to get close with others."

  • Mystery of Sherwood, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It had been a week since Clara had joined Lady Vastra, Jenny and Strax in their Paternoster Row residence. She was still adjusting to being stuck over a century in her past. She heard a knock on the door. 'Come in.'"

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Aunt Rita Needs to STOP Celebrating This One!


Tom's happy to see that today is National Boyfriends Day, but Daria is not so thrilled. Give it another season or so, Daria. You'll get your turn.

Today is also Virus Appreciation Day, but I think I'll pass on this one. And so will the rest of the planet, I suspect.

Fandom News!

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Coffee and Cookies, Anyone?


Daria's happily celebrating International Coffee Day, unless that's cocoa she's drinking. I know which I'd prefer, anyway!

I have the perfect complement to that hot beverage, too, because today is also National Homemade Cookies Day! I hope no one in the Morgendorffer family takes the "homemade" part seriously, though, because Daria with cookies is creepy, Jake's a menace in the kitchen, and Helen gets thwarted by refrigerated cookie dough. Interestingly, Quinn might actually do a decent job. I mean, she did make a layer cake for Kevin and it looked okay.

Fanfic Update!
  • Boxing Quinn, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn's car was driving along in a thunderstorm. Inside, Quinn was crying as she drove through torrential rain at a speed that would be dangerous even in calm weather."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 51): "Jake Morgendorffer was in a very bad mood. Scolding the three thugs who had throw the water balloon at him was of little use ..."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The found Sabrina hunched over the console looking at the encryption of the Drahvin plan file with confusion..."

  • Lawndale, by peapotmaster (part 1): "A teenage girl with glasses, a green jacket, and a black skirt entered the police station, as she walked up to the front desk to a plump cop drinking a decaf coffee."

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Back in the SADdle Again!


I'm not sure if DeMartino is more, less, or exactly as stressed as usual as Gene Autry for the singer/actor's birthday. Autry was born on this day in 1907, and I think Mr. D would have been happier as a singing cowboy, but then I think he'd have been happier in any other job, no exceptions.

Today is also World Heart Day, and I hope Jake remembers what the doctor told him about cheese. If he does, I also hope he'll share it with the rest of us because I'm dying to know!

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Have an Easy Fast!


Rabbi Trent wishes "G'mar Tov" to all Jewish Daria fans for Yom Kippur, which begins at sundown tonight. There are a few fanon conventions that Jake and/or Tiffany is Jewish, but neither theory was ever confirmed on the show itself. Still, fanfic can always fill in the gaps!

Today also begins Banned Books Week, so please either read a controversial book or join Daria in yelling at the television. Hey, why not do both?

Fanfic Update!
  • Backseat for No One, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'This,' Daria thought as she approached her locker which Lawndale High's starting quarterback was currently slouching against. 'Is why I should never leave the house without my whistle?'"

  • Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 8): "'Unless someone’s given me gag binoculars,' Vixx announced. 'It looks like Jesse and Jane have broken away from the pack setting a bone rattling pace! They are neck and neck, looking like neither notices the other. I wonder what’s going through their minds.'"

  • Boxing Quinn, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "It was late at night and five years old Quinn Morgendorffer was laying awake in her bed looking terrified. The source of her distress was the sound of her parents yelling in another room." (Part 2)

  • BroadcasTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Ted was still two blocks from the high school when he heard loud music and shouting. 'Oh, no!' he whispered in dismay. 'My parents told me if I went to public school it would be a slippery slope to substance abuse and music raves.' He sighed and trudged onward to the school. 'I might as well get my drug addiction over with.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, you have no idea how glad we all are that you've finally woken up from that 20 year coma,' Quinn said happily as she pushed her sister's wheel chair down the hospital hallway."