Friday, September 30, 2016

Murder, She Parodied

It's crime-solving time for Daria, because it was on this day in 1984 that the TV show Murder, She Wrote first aired. Not only was the show referenced in the episode "Murder, She Snored," but it also inspired the episode's title. I don't think Jessica Fletcher ever solved a case involving a stolen test, a poisoned nutty butter sandwich, and a bow and arrow, but I haven't seen them all. Who knows?

Fanfic Update!
  • Beast, by Staticblast (part 1): "Hey, I hope this actually reaches you. Amy's always been so like you, so strange. It's like she could always find you, no matter what, like some freaky sixth sense or something. I'm pretty much banking on it. Steven's been getting more violent lately. I think he thinks I'm cheating on him."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Roentgen and EntrancedCat (parts 28 - 30): "Kermit and Cat snuck down to Deck Four, having temporary access to the turbolift while Ultron was busy battling Popeye. 'Listen, frog, are you sure that this whatchamacallit is down here?'" (Part 29 by EntrancedCat) (Part 30 by EntrancedCat)

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

The Two Holidays Were Made for Each Other!

Daria's probably not going to ask a stupid question for Ask a Stupid Question Day, but I have no doubt Mr. O'Neill's about to give her a stupid answer. Feel free to ask stupid questions if you want, and if you can't think of any then just celebrate Drink Beer Day until something comes to you. Works for most people, right?

Fandom News!

Monday, September 26, 2016

He's the Apple QB!

Kevin's planting apples in honor of Johnny Appleseed Day...or at least I hope those are apple seeds. He could have anything from jelly beans to fingernail clippings in that bag. Still, if the cheerleaders can make a crutch sprout a flower then I suppose anything's possible.

Fanfic Update!
  • 1976, by CaffeineAddict94 (COMPLETE!): "The sweltering summer heat was beating down on her, sweat raining down her back. Daria tried to take up refuge underneath an old oak tree but the branches provided little to no coverage."

  • Beat It, by metameric1 (parts 5 and 6): "Jane opened the door to find Helen Morgendorffer standing there. It was late Sunday morning, and the workaholic lawyer lady was heading to the office and had apparently decided to stop on the way." (Part 6)

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 4): "Seeing Daria walk in the room, Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief. English class always seemed to go by a lot easier when she was around."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 32): "Daria was once more staying over at Casa Lane. Daria had a great deal more subconscious issues than even she'd known about that had been dragged out of her by Jean-Michel, professional psychologist and employed head-shrinker of Quiet Ivy."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 2a and 2b): "When you looked beyond the superficialities, Nightingale Aero Charters, Ltd. was an unusual air charter company." (Part 2b)

  • The Game, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Tom woke up, arose from the couch, and looked out the window. The wind had picked up overnight and the trees had lost their first few leaves, but were still mostly green. Still, the sky was clear and Daria should have a nice trip back to Raft."

  • SOS, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "McGrundy's was the last place that Jake Morgendorffer expected to find himself on a Friday night but he'd lost control of his life a long time ago. He grimaced as he sipped his martini, wondering if this was what rock bottom looked like."

Saturday, September 24, 2016

She's Almost (but Not Quite) Huggable!

Daria's here in one of her most disturbing alter egos because it's the anniversary of Muppet creator Jim Henson's birth in 1936. Creepy as that image might be, I still think it's better than Elmo. There. I said it.

Fandom News!

Thursday, September 22, 2016

So, Linda, Do YOU Have a Misshapen Chunk of Wax?

Linda and Helen are on the phone together because they want to wish each other a happy American Business Women's Day...and try desperately to one-up each other until both are so angry they can't see straight. Should be a nice, pleasant conversation.

If Helen needs to calm down afterward, though, she might try lighting that hobbit-shaped candle Jake got her years ago. It would be appropriate, since today is also Hobbit Day. And brown is so...soothing.

Fanfic Update!
  • CorrecTed Vision (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "It was a lovely Saturday afternoon. The light generated by the sun was unbroken by clouds or other obstructions, the temperature and humidity levels were well within a comfortable range, and several birds were uttering musical vocalizations intended for either territorial or mating purposes. Ted was walking home from the video arcade when he noticed a medium-sized bulldog approaching him."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29, Roentgen, Brother Grimace, Kuriamo22, and peetz5050 (parts 22 - 27): "Even before she opened her eyes, River knew she was no longer on Serenity. Non of the other nine minds that she could sense were those of the crew that she and her brother were travelling with." (Part 23 by Roentgen) (Part 24 by Brother Grimace) (Part 25 by Kuriamo22) (Part 26 by peetz5050) (Part 27 by Roentgen)

  • Lawndale Z, by Kuriamo22 (part 8): "It was a clear sunny day over the endless blue green grasslands of the northern hemisphere of Namek. Long ago the Namekians had built vast technological cities across their planet. Unfortunately decades of overproduction had nearly destroyed the biosphere and millions of Namekians died in a vast drought."

  • A Moment Behind the Mask, by RubinaLadybug (COMPLETE!): "'And so completes our time of raising the dead and causing mass panic in this listless town,' Daria stated, her deadpan tone infecting every word she spouted."

  • Return of the Runaway: Esteem of the Middle Child (IC Runaway Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Quinn walked home, after having helped Jane prevent her house from being foreclosed. 'How is it that the Lane's just forgot to pay their bills?' she wondered. Jane was interesting though. 'If nothing else we do fit as aquaintences.'"

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 12): "'It would be such a shame if it rained. Can you imagine it raining on the happiest day of your life? Awful!' 'I've heard that rain is a sign of good luck'."

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Just Watch Out for Ms. Barch's Right Hook

Quinn is delighted to see Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie celebrating National Punch Day, but hopefully they won't knock each other unconscious this time. What? The holiday is supposed to be about the drink? That's okay. They're fighting over who's going to bring Quinn a glass of punch.

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 18, 2016

"Burger! Get! Get burger!"

Daria's about to enjoy National Cheeseburger Day, and Jane's probably out with Tom having two jumbo burgers and not feeling a thing. You could ask Skip if you can have one of his carefully-planned burgers, but I don't recommend it. He'd probably talk your ear off about Camp Grizzly while you tried to eat.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Appointment, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'You know she's in love with you.' Jesse Moreno stated to his longtime friend as they watched Daria's car disappear from the Lane driveway."

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 3): "Jennifer dipped the steak fry in a pool of green ketchup before putting it in her mouth to chew thoughtfully. She looked over at her sister in the darkened booth of the Zomblebee's restaurant to gauge her reaction to all this, and was a bit relieved to see acceptance."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 31): "'I sense a worrying teen conspiracy afoot,' Jane commented to Daria in the hallways. 'No,' Daria answered. 'Quinn's just obeying orders by inviting one person to sleep over this weekend. Three times.'"

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Roentgen, EntrancedCat, tafka, Brother Grimace, Meester_Lee, and peetz5050 (parts 7 - 21): "Catwoman made her way up back to the bridge to let everyone know that they had moved up from a foursome to a fivesome. That is, if their newest arrival survived that doctor that suddenly appeared out of nowhere." (Part 8 by EntrancedCat) (Part 9 by tafka) (Part 10 by Brother Grimace) (Part 11 by Meester_Lee) (Part 12 by tafka) (Part 13 by peetz5050) (Part 14 by Roentgen) (Part 15 by Meester_Lee) (Part 16 by Brother Grimace) (Part 17 by EntrancedCat) (Part 18 by Brother Grimace) (Part 19 by EntrancedCat) (Part 20 by Brother Grimace) (Part 21 by peetz5050)

  • Everlong, by Vlora (COMPLETE!): "Trent had plenty locked away between his ribs, songs, words, feelings, but it was loose and vague. He felt the throb of his temple, and the swirl of his guts, but neither of these sensations he could explain."

  • The Game, by dmsfanman (part 3): "After eating some dinner Tom and Daria started out toward Terry's house. The only place that hadn't had a line down the block was the Falafel Palace."

  • The girl in the shadow, by Rémi (part 3): "The following weeks were hectic for Helen and her daughters. Helen had always been a hard worker, and Jake's defection increased the number of domestic chores she had to take care of, in addition of her professional activities."

  • JTL's Attempt to Finish Finn Morgendorffer, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Finn is in the back of the Tank with Jane while Daria rode upfront with Trent. They were headed out to Camp Grizzly where he, and Daria, had spent several summers."

  • The Many Doctors - Chapter 35, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Soon... 'Now everyone behave,' the newswoman, Cathica said. 'We have a management inspection. How do you want it? By the book?'"

  • Me And My Monkey, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "In class on Tuesday, Pete didn't say a word or even approach me. It was probably for the best, since I wouldn't have been very coherent."

  • The virus, the Genius, and some other things... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time, Daria and Quinn and Helen and Jake lived in Highland Then a meteor fell nearby and realeased an unkown, uncurable virus into the air."

Friday, September 16, 2016


Jake's getting a little too into National Guacamole Day, but I'm sure Helen can pull herself away from her cell phone conversation long enough to pull him out before he drowns. Well, pretty sure. Kind of hoping she can, at least.

Then again, she should probably deal with whatever crisis is going on at work, because today is also Working Parents Day. Choices, choices.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

A Holiday for All the Twisted Crullers Out There

Do Me a Donut is open and ready for everyone to stop in and celebrate National Cream-Filled Donut Day. Daria and Jane might enjoy having an alternative to pizza in Lawndale, although from the show it appears they only took advantage of it once. Maybe they just don't have sweet tooths?

Daria appeared in People Weekly on this day eighteen years ago to judge the best and worst dressed people of 1998. The subject matter may not have been Daria's usual style, but the snarky commentary definitely was.

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 2): "With a smile, Jennifer pulled the headphones off, and looked over the sheet music she had just finished writing, with a nod of satisfaction."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Roentgen, EntrancedCat, and Meester_Lee (parts 2 - 6): "When she woke up she found herself in her uniform. Which was funny, because that was something she didn't normally do. Something must have gone tits up, reallllly tits up for that to happen." (Part 3 by EntrancedCat) (Part 4 by Meester_Lee) (Part 5 by Roentgen) (Part 6 by Meester_Lee)

  • The Game, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Tom shifted around and then opened his eyes. The couch he had bought at the thrift store was actually pretty comfortable."

  • The girl in the shadow, by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Jake Morgendorffer filled is glass of whisky again and took a sip. He wasn't happy. Working in a job he hated, under a lousy mini-Mussolini's orders, was already bad enough but, all things considered, work wasn't supposed to be fun. Not being able to relax at home because of his family's problems was a different story." (Part 2)

  • Me And My Monkey, by Dennis (part 6): "Dave was true to his word. I saw neither hide nor hair of him the whole week, although every day when I came home, more of his stuff had disappeared from the common areas."

  • One in the Hand, by Sureia (part 1): "'I don't get Art.' Jane stopped, a frown creasing her face for a moment as she finished another of the many geometric shapes on the canvas, and wiped her brush off with a rag before looking around at her guest."

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 11): "'God, that's awful! You can't walk around in that'. Quinn stalked her way over to where Daria was standing, wasting no time picking over the excess fabric."

  • The Switcher, by Sureia (part 2): "'Why did you just call me "Kevin"?' Jane liked to think of herself as a reasonable and measured individual under normal circumstances, regardless of whether other people who knew her well would do the same."

  • Unnamed story (IC Runaway Daria), by neonhomer (part 1): "Daria laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The gentle sound of rain hitting the glass of the windows was a bit comforting, but also troubling at the same time."

  • With Apologies To Degrassi-Who Would You Date?, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "It was a pleasant Friday afternoon that found Jane Lane, Sandi Griffin and (surprisingly) Jodie Landon in the little coffeehouse that was (once upon a time) the site of a mini-riot caused by stupidity, and Daria Morgendorffer's excellent reading of a 'James Bond' parody."

  • UnfFleeting time (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Charles Rutheimmer III walked, trying to mask his worry under a mask of insouciance. Every step that got him nearer school was getting him nearer the upcoming news. His mind twirled in a mess of thoughts."

Monday, September 12, 2016

Game On!

Daria seems to be enjoying National Video Games Day, although she should probably take a break and get some writing done. Ted, I'm sure, is at the virtual reality arcade as we speak.

Fandom News!

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Rin Tin TV Dinner

Leary the Third (or more, by now) is pleased to report that today is the anniversary of the birth of fellow German Shepherd Rin Tin Tin on this day in 1918. Having been born nearly a hundred years ago, any current Rin Tin Tin would be far beyond the third incarnation.

Jane Lane might be celebrating TV Dinner Day by eating one alone, unless she's saving that honor for Thanksgiving.

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 1): "Heaving a world-weary sigh, Jennifer closed her locker and looked up at the clock hanging in the hall. Well, let's get this over with."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 30): "Daria did, on occasion, have call to go to the mall. It usually happened when she'd filled up one of her notebooks and needed another."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria came to. She had fallen asleep at Jane's place after watching weird science fiction movies. Now she awoke in this place."

  • Magnum Cynics (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Harry Callahan straightened his tie before entering the Longford California Police Department headquarters. He had wanted to avoid this meeting but had run out of excuses."

  • Me And My Monkey, by Dennis (part 5): "He—that is, I—was still confused on Saturday. The day itself was quite lovely, the sort of pretty fall day you get in New England where the trees have all turned, but the sky is blue and the temperature decides to pretend it's still summer, or at least September."

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (parts 9 and 10): "The locker room was always a constant buzz of activity, whether it was people discussing weekend plans or trading gossip, and Quinn was right there with the rest of them." (Part 10)

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Date Nuts and Starry Nights

Helen's celebrating National Date Nut Bread Day the old-fashioned way, but I wouldn't blame her for breaking out the bread machine for this one. Honestly, I wouldn't blame her if she wanted to just go out and buy some bread instead. I'd suggest she let Jake do the cooking instead, but I shudder to think what the results would be. Aside from inedible.

Tonight's the night the Starry Night Ball was held at the Lawndale Art Museum, and if you'd like to go there might be a table still available for you. You've got a spare $5,000 lying around, don't you?

Fandom News!

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Read Any Good Books about Procrastination?

Tom's not really enjoying Read a Book Day, but he'd better stick to it. Today is also Fight Procrastination Day, so he shouldn't put off reading it. Trent probably hates both of these holidays, because he can't go into bookstores and I suspect procrastination is one of his favorite hobbies.

Fanfic Update!
  • Camped Out, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane were reminiscing about old Sick, Sad World episodes when Daria abruptly stopped talking or even moving. Jane took a few steps before she noticed, then turned to look curiously at her friend."

  • Eating Speaks Louder Than Words, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane's blue eyes danced with joyous mischief. 'You know that Das Kolonel is probably going to have words with you about this, right?'"

  • The Game, by dmsfanman (part 1): "Daria picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. Her last class of the week had ended just an hour ago."

  • Jane – The Green Fairy (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane's heart beat faster in happy anticipation as she turned up the sidewalk to the Schloss Morgendorffer her backpack full of artist supplies bouncing in rhythm with heart and jaunty step."

  • No, by mabel (COMPLETE!): "Daria liked to joke about Helen's lack of parenting; this was obvious to everyone in the Morgendorffer household besides Jake. Truthfully, Helen could not blame her eldest daughter (and from ever parenting magazine she had ever read, she knew blaming her daughter for it would be a serious sign of unhealthy mother/daughter dynamics, which just wouldn't do)."

  • Party at 111 Howard (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Jodie Landon.' 'Dani Moreno.' 'I haven't seen you at Lawndale.' 'I'm at Lawndale State, Freshman,' Dani said."

  • Perception, by Princess_Pasta (part 8): "The faint sound of the evening news filtered in through the kitchen while Charlene Thompson worked on scrubbing burned spaghetti out of her good pan."

  • Rude Awakening ep 15: Paintballing Your Troubles Away!, by DIsaac (part 3): "(The WHUB Team is all on the bus to the hotel. For the first time… some they are in are in close quarters with co-workers and their teammates from channel 5 which make for some weird conversations.)"

  • Somnium (Iron Chef : Jane doesn't forgive Daria), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "How many years had it been.... four or maybe five years since she left Lawndale for the Art Colony. Jane had rarely been back since then mainly to visit Trent."

  • The Switcher, by Sureia (part 1): "One thing that never ceased to surprise Jane was the number of creative ways in which life could bring you low. It shouldn't have been surprising, especially after spending any amount of time under the same room as Summer, Wind, Penny and Trent, but it did."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Sureia (COMPLETE!): "Doubt was the curse of the scientist, Jake thought, watching his breath mist in the cold, night air. Doubt that an experiment was valid, doubt that the right questions were being asked, doubt that anyone would take him seriously, and doubt..."

  • When A Stranger Calls (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'And it is in these trying times that we must remember to stand together. There will be grief counselors here throughout the week to help you sort out your feelings in the face of such an awful tragedy'."

Sunday, September 4, 2016

You Could Read the Newspaper Outside, I Guess

If Jake isn't appreciating Newspaper Carrier Day today, then he should be. After all, how else would he have gotten that newspaper that so helpfully allows him to tune out the rest of the world?

I would suggest that he celebrate National Wildlife Day instead, but somehow Jake and the outdoors never seem to mix well.

Fandom News!

Friday, September 2, 2016

I'm Dead? I Can't be Dead! Oh my God, Whyyyyy?!

Poor Stacy just can't catch a break, especially on Dead Stacy Rowe Day! This holiday was created by The Angst Guy on this very blog, in order to honor the many fanfic deaths of Stacy Rowe. So how many deaths do you count? Enough to make the poor girl cry, I'm sure.

Fanfic Update!
  • Camped Out, by Kristen Bealer (part 3): "'...and then there was that time she boycotted the End-of-Summer campfire by the lake. That was so cool.' Trent drifted awake to find that the clingy girl was chattering away about someone, but he had no idea who or what she was talking about. 'Uh...yeah. Sounds really great.'"

  • Clarity, by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "It's morning and mother and I are eating breakfast together like we always do. Mother never looks away at breakfast anymore. She watches as I swallow my pills, then walks over and puts her fingers in my mouth to make sure I'm not hiding them."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 29): "'You really scared Tom,' Jane noted to Daria the next day at school. There was a smile on her face though, so she clearly found the boy's fear amusing."

  • Me And My Monkey, by Dennis (part 4): "Of course, that was only for the moment. Dave's bullshit was as nothing compared to the grilling I knew I'd face when I called home."

  • Perfect, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 1): "Only his parents could turn an attempt to off himself into a minor familial inconvenience. Oh, it was a blight on the good Sloane name, no doubt but it could and would be handled accordingly."

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (parts 7 and 8): "Helen dashed around the kitchen like a bat out of hell, trying to keep one eye on the stove while she skimmed through a 'simple' recipe. It was proving to be a lot more complicated than she remembered, if the pan she scorched earlier was any indication." (Part 8)