Saturday, June 29, 2013


Happy Camera Day! Celebrate by taking a candid humiliating photo of your best friend. Just remember to get her best side...I know, they're both good.

This is also the 15th anniversary of the episode "Gifted," in which Daria learned that she could do worse than the students at Lawndale High and Quinn had to do battle against mass serial puppy kickers. Or she did in the AU version in my mind, anyway.

Fandom News!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Coaching Caption Contest

Post your captions in the comments!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What's Wrong, Chief Mack Daddy?

On this day in 1876, several Native American tribes defeated the U.S. Cavalry at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Mack is impersonating Sitting Bull, one of the leaders in the battle, on the right. I can just see Kevin as Custer, can't you?

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of "Boxing Daria" in 2001. A very heavy episode, with too many significant moments to even start listing. But fandom will never quite look at refrigerator boxes the same way again.

Fanfic Update!
  • Café Disa-tap-toe (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'You promised Mr. O'Neill you'd perform for opening night at the coffee house,' Jane reminded her. 'You're not going to back out, are you?' 'No,' Daria reassured her. 'But I've decided to go in a different direction for this.'"

  • Crossing Stars, by Silver: "'Another lead?' Jake asked as he emerged from behind the counter with a vegtable tray. 'That's what I'm hoping. I'm positive that attack wasn't random.' Quinn's voice dropped at that last part. Everyone present nodded in solemn agreement."

  • Daria and Beiber, by I luv words (COMPLETE!): "Daria, this girl who hates absolutely everyone in the world was walking home one day because she had to go home."

  • Daria has something to say... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Daria took the stage, her foot nudged a strange can that was next to the microphone but she gave no hint of what was inside it."

  • Finding A New Lane, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Walking beside Andy after school, Liz said, 'So, are you going to tell them tonight.'"

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 9): "'I'm surprised that you didn't blow up on them Mister Morgendorffer,' Jay said to his friend as they sat down in Clark Defoe's art class."

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 7): "Daria thought she'd been safe, but that had just been a cruel lie. The helicopter was taking her to a mall."

  • LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "[So, I was wondering,] Daria asked Anna as they walked down the street towards Daria's house, [How come so many of the teachers are hearing? I'd imagine that doesn't roll well with everyone.]"

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 7): "Aubrey had been as good as her word. He'd taken her out to the nicest restaurant he could find, wined and diner her, not stared at her breasts and then been a 'sensitive, caring lover' and she'd supplied Summer Lane's flight times into Texas, hotel and her interview times with Teddy."

  • Return of the Bro! and Revenge of the ASP (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Michelle peered out of Ethan's window at Tom, who had just returned from his vacation. He was trying his best to retain his bro! composure, but it was quite evident that it was beginning to weaken."

  • Tapped Out, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Daria tapped along with her classmates during the main part of their routine, which was kind of boring, but she knew her solo was coming up soon. And there it was: her cue. The music changed a little and she moved forward with pride. Okay, everybody. Get ready for this! "

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 10): "We were in the VIP box, practically ground level with the game AND loaded up with enough beer and junk food to last a hundred winters."

  • Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (COMPLETE!): "There were very few times if any at all of her remembering Daria display anything remotely close to seductive behavior, but as Jane looked over at her, she carried that expression on her face as she looked over at her girlfriend. 'She was the Evil Queen,' Daria answered in a tone that matched the look she gave Stephanie."

  • Two Sharks (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "One day as the DariaShark and the JaneShark swam side-by-side in the great blue sea they found a strange sight."

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Color of Perkiness...and Pepto-Bismol

Happy National Pink Day! Quinn welcomes the holiday in her Temple of Pink, while Daria films her for a school project and fights back a wave of nausea.

Fandom News!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Way to Shred, Daria!

Today is Go Skateboarding Day, so get out there and, well, go skateboarding. Daria looks surprisingly relaxed, which makes me wonder if we've stumbled upon a little-known guilty pleasure.

This is also World Humanist Day, which encourages the spread of awareness of Humanism. It's today because every year it falls on the June Solstice. That means today's the longest day we'll have all year--make it a good one. Or take a cue from Trent and spend the whole day sleeping. The night holds the key, right?

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Lawndale's Episode, by Silver (part 5): "'Hey, are you okay?' The voice was a woman's, calmer than the last few she'd heard. Sensation started coming back to her, and Daria opened her eyes. It was a move she immediately regretted. Light bent and blurred in her vision, and she immediately closed her eyes again as a wave of nausea washed over her."

  • The Dale of Lawn, by Wassersauefer (part 13): "A week of hammering those degenerate scum with his siege equipment and then he would attack, Angier decided. By then the constant attack will most likely have already broken the enemies morale. And it gave his diggers a bit more time to find another way into the fortress."

  • Daria+Stacy fluff, by Astrocar82 (part 2): "Daria and Jane were walking to school the day after Daria's kiss with Stacy. Jane was expecting another nice day of napping and snarking at school, but something seemed wrong with Daria."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 22a): "When Dylan made no response to this rhetorical question, Kent went on, 'You're not going to tell her I said that, right? By the way, what the hell's going on with your neck?'"

  • Finding A New Lane, by RLobinske (part 4): "Helen walked around the counter to face the computer, where she then saw Derek's image on the screen. She waved and said, 'Thank you so much for helping.' 'Anything to corrupt young minds toward science.'"

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 6): "'The distraction's gonna be, uh, noisy,' suggested Jesse, his brow knit with thought. 'How do we create noise?' Trent looked down at his guitar. 'Hmmmm. Hey. I think I have an idea.'"

  • Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 12): "One thing that Jodie didn't understand was why the town's local High School was called 'Springbok High', when the damn town had 'Swede' in the name."

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 5, by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Good morning, Jane.' Daria linked with her friend and 'saw' her sitting at breakfast with Jodie and Tish. 'Good morning Jodie.' She added, opening up her perception so both her friends could see where she was. 'Good morning.' Both Jane and Jodie were speaking aloud for Tish's benefit and Jodie was quietly repeating what Daria'd said. 'Trees, trees and more trees.' Jane complained. 'Where are you exactly?'"

  • National Insecurity, by SacredDust (part 1): "Daria rolled over in bed and squinted. There it was again, that damnable screen turning on and waking her up at the most ungodly hours. She was getting used to it now. Almost."

  • Ride (LLH Mini), by RLobinske (part 1): "Quinn Morgendorffer slammed down on any thoughts of the dark-haired girl and focused again driving. Though she could easily have flown, she found that driving forced her to pay attention to something, anything, other than her attraction to Danielle Todds."

  • Slow Sunday (LLH Mini), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "It was way too early to wake up, even if she wasn't sure what time it was exactly. The only thing she knew was, was that the bed was comfy and warm, the air outside was cold and that she was tired and exhausted and wanted to cuddle a bit more."

  • Tagging with the Bandanna (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Some due revenge was in order, no doubt. But where could the most devastating blow to an über-masculine, chauvinistic, meat-sword wielding straight guy meet Gangland? A certain place came to mind. 'You know what? I do know where the gangstas at. But you need to look the part first, rich boy.'"

  • Tapped Out, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "'Now, Daria, we talked about this. You're going to love dance class.' Helen glanced in the rearview mirror at her six-year-old daughter in the backseat, sighing at the dark expression on her face. 'Promise me you'll at least give it a chance, okay?'" (Part 2)

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 10): "So on a regular day, me and my Bro Yogi were chillin' at my place, a cooler full of beers open next to the couch with some snacks on the coffee table and my big screen was playing the latest Cowboys game."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria reacts to fanfic), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'So that was what all the hubbub was about,' Daria snarked as a firm hand blanked out 'Night of the Storm' from her computer screen. 'Well, Quinn, that was a trip. Do you--I mean, what do you think?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Ruttheimer? Mr Charles Ruttheimer III?'" (continued by Shiva)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'MISS Morgendorffer, can you name the REASONS for the breakup of the United States?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'So.' Jane said. Her brother remained silent for a long moment, seeming to concentrate solely on smoking his cigarette. Finally he spoke, in his usual slow tone. 'So.'"

  • Untitled Random Story #1 (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat in front of her laptop and took another drink, she had developed a taste for vodka during her time at Vance due to all the keggers she had gone to with Mack out of boredom (at first) and then alter an excuse to drink and not be judged for it."

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Ring the Big Bell!

Jodie and Mack are celebrating because today is Juneteenth! On this day in 1865, slavery was abolished in Texas, freeing the last remaining slaves in this country. More recently, Juneteenth has become a day for celebration of African-American history and heritage.

Fandom News!

Monday, June 17, 2013

Give Me Your Tired, Your Sarcastic....

It was on this day in 1885 that the Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City. Jane must be so happy--she's always wanted to visit New York.

Fanfic Update!

  • Daria and Jane: On A Dance Party That They Can Handle... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Hey Jane?' Jane: 'What?' Daria: 'By a minor miracle I have discovered a kind of dance party that I can handle...'"

  • Daria: Beavis and Butthead are Dead, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been hard but with perseverance and a helpful boost from Trent, she had gotten Jane cornered and had talked out the situation and they had both gotten over the death of that clod, Tommy Sherman with a combination of friendship and good grace in the face of death."

  • Daria's Purge (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria smiled as the Emergency Broadcast System alert finished playing, though since she was hanging off to the back her parents and sister didn't see her smile."

  • Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 11): "'It was so nice of you to come shopping with me Angie,' Brittany chirped as soon as she and her fellow shopping companion had come to rest on a nice bench in front of a shoe store at the local mall."

  • Jane and Quinn: On Sex (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'So Quinn, now that we're inexplicably talking, mind answering a question for me?'"

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (parts 4 and 5): "And when the horde stopped, that is when a blue-yellow thing came sailing down the corridor and kicked her companions into the wall. Daria fired once, twice, click into its back before it could turn. 'I've shot a cheerleader,' she said, staring at the corpse. 'This is the greatest die of my life.'" (Part 5)

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 6): "'Awwww, you're sweet. Todd likes it when people compliment me too, in fact he loves it when people tell me I'm pretty. So uh, I need to talk to Gina about girl stuff but I have no idea where she lives and I need to talk to her urgently,' She smiled as Beavis started giggling about the thought of her and Gina's 'girl talk.' 'Yeah, it is funny. So, where can I find her?'"

  • One (More) Little Thing Part 2, by peetz5050 (part 19): "'OK, this is going to be tricky, I have to have dinner with Mom and Grandma and Aunt Amy but I've to be at the student cafe for the gig by seven thirty, it'll have to be an early reservation, sorry I can't ask you to come along Jane... Jane? What's up? Bad news?'"

  • Public Disturbance (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Police detective Daria stared in disbelief. Guys. Guys everywhere. Probably half her graduating class from Lawndale High, dressed to the nines and standing on a seedy street corner."

  • Quinn's Code 08: Alternapalooza, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'You're not your usual self,' Jennifer noticed. Daria scowled. 'I've got a bump on my head, a bug bite on my arm, a sandwich on my ass...' she started saying. Jennifer interuppted. 'And that in front of a certain musician.'"

  • The Real Adventures of Melody Powers, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Codenamed Melody Powers, this agent was dropped into North Korea for a single purpose: kill Kim Jung Un."

  • Unnamed story (IC: The Lax Broverse thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Roger 'Yogi' Pelchat III looked a little queasy. There he was, standing there as a bridegroom, in a gray suit and a little queasy."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Melody Powers sat in the dark and weighed her options."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Duke Jakob of House Morgendorffer gazed along the line of hussars on the parade ground. Then he crossed to the podium, took a deep breath and said...."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It is my pleasure to announce that this year's most popular student,' spoke Ms. Li over the intercom, 'is our valued exchange student from Equestria, Ms. Flufflepuff!'"

  • When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "She rolled down the passenger side window. 'I for one welcome our new mouse overlords,' she called. 'Do you?' a high voice answered back."

Saturday, June 15, 2013

She Doesn't Like to Smile Unless She Has a Reason, Or Unless it's Really, Really Disturbing

Happy Smile Power Day, everyone! Let out your biggest grin, Daria? Could you maybe tone it down a bit? Please?

If Daria's smile actually had a superpower, what do you suppose it would be? Mind control (because you'd do anything she asked just to make her stop)? Telekinesis (because people seem to levitate out of their chairs to get away)? Just all around creepiness ('nuff said)?

Fandom News!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Mmm...Blackened Tongues....

Good news, Jake! It's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! So now you've got the perfect excuse to mix up a fresh batch of kitchen sink stew. And the rest of the family has the perfect excuse to call out for pizza.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 23 and 24): "There was a knock at Gage's door. He set down his GameBoy and twisted his doorknob. To his surprise, he was faced with Flora Gwinett." (Part 24)

  • Baking with Jane (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "It was time to let bygones be bygones and Jane invited Tom and Daria round to try her famous Mississippi Mud Pie, the only thing Jane could make in the kitchen."

  • Blood and Water, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "There were more shrill exclamations from the girl. Romonika barely heard them as she strolled over to the bar. She had done this so many times before. Every step, every movement had been perfected over the years, but she never tired of it. It was her family's legacy, and she would be proud to continue it tonight."

  • Daria's Dog Days, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The Morgendorffers never owned a dog. The subject had come up many times and it was always the same."

  • Defeat, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane used what little strength he had in him to turn his head so that he could look out his window."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 21d): "'Before I was at Grove Hills', said Leo, 'people just laughed at me if I quoted Ine Rand.' Dylan didn't bother to tell him the correct way to pronounce 'Ayn'."

  • Good Things, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Good things come to good people who work for them. Now there's a lie if there ever was one."

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 5): "'There is one thing for you to remember about Daria, always. She Does Not Lie. Never accuse her of it if you value your health. For years in Mittenstan nobody believed her... nobody... not even me.' Quinn added with shame."

  • Marceline and Ichigo, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Jane knocked on Trent's door. 'Trent! Come on, you're going to be late for your gig!' Trent opened the door, and Jane suppressed a laugh. 'Oh wow. Trent, did you lose a bet?'"

  • Melody Powers: International Chick of Misery (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'As Melody sun-bathed on the Rio beach, she looked back upon the past few days and thought they were groovy, baby: twelve dead Russians, five dead Chinese, three or four dead Cubans....'"

  • Model Behavior (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Quinn. Went to hear a joke?' A sigh. 'Go ahead, Jane.'"

  • Operation Twist (IC: The Swerve), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'No, no, NO!!' Claude the director shouted at Daria the screenwriter. He threw the manuscript back onto the table. 'You left out the most important part!!'"

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 9): "Everyone that's worth mentioning knows that Bros love sports."

  • Unbearable 2: The Lady and the Tiger, by Smijey (part 1): "The bear had its front paws propped up on one of the desks (turned around, as it was one of those desks welded to the chair and it sure as hell couldn't fit into the seat) and had a book propped open between them. If Daria didn't know better, she would say the animal was reading the book."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Schloss Morgendorffer lay clear across the street from Tom. As he braced himself to cross the road, his instinct pushed him back."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Want to go check out the potato salad swan?' Daria asked of Michelle Landon. 'Lead the way,' said Michelle. They approached the table, where a very real swan was sitting on a platter and looking extremely bored."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "At lunch at their usual table in Lawndale High, Jane turned to her friend and asked out of the blue 'You know what would be funny Daria?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The arguing had, naturally enough, continued as the two humans and one unicorn had strode along. Things petered out as they approached the school. Lyra was simply being sullen. Daria was being...well, Daria, which mean 'quiet and sarcastic.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria shook her head to clear it. Last thing she remembered was volunteering to test those relaxation pods for a little extra cash."

  • The Vampire of the Seven Veils (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 2): "Daria stepped out of the shower and quickly toweled off, and did her best to ignore the sheer lavishness of Salome Agrippa's personal bathroom."

  • We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17): "Daria and Quinn handed each other pieces of pizza, as Jane tapped her notepad with a pencil. After a moment, Jane tilted her head up to the twins. 'Nothing?' Daria shrugged. 'Quinn's the one with PTSD, don't look at me."

  • When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (part 3): "'Yes, I'm that reporter. Now, I've been told that you know something about a few disappearances in the area?' His face froze. He backed up slightly into the house, shady but inviting. 'I think you should come in.'"

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Aloha, Stacy!

Happy Kamehameha Day! For those unfamiliar with Hawaiian public holidays, Kamehameha Day honors the first king of Hawaii. It's also a great excuse to post the alter ego of Stacy doing the hula.

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of Prize Fighters in 2001. Care for a wasabi gummi fish? Or how about a mistakenly-ordered bulk hot dog?

Fandom News!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Day at the Races

Forty years ago today, Secretariat won the Triple Crown--the first horse to do so in twenty years. The real winners, however, are the readers of this blog: I could have chosen that very, very disturbing alter ego of Helen and Jake to go with this post, but I didn't. Consider it my gift to you.

Also on this day in 1997, Pinch Sitter aired for the first time. Did you know Hitler ate sugar? Tad Gupty knows.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17.75): "Before they knocked, the red-head asked, 'Hey, why did he get expelled from the Albuquerque academy anyways? I heard he bit off someone's cheek' The door opened. 'I'd rather not go into it,' Ethan said. He looked irritated. 'So, what can I do for you? Make it fast, I'm working with Edgar.'"

  • Crossed Paths, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "All the sins in the world condensed into one night, and Jason didn't know what to say. There he stood, a slight and solitary figure in the middle of the trashed living room, an open can of Sprite warm in his pale hand." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 12): "After indulging in some well-earned R&R, the Company that was trapped in a room of seeming infinite powers were forced once more to deal with the task at hand."

  • Daria and Phineas: Big Ideas in Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Perry approached the downtown area of the Wisconsin town. He had rarely been in Lawndale before. Most of Doof's schemes focused on Danville. He located the building that Doof was using for the Lawndale branch of his business."

  • Daria Kombat (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "All of a sudden Daria found herself in an extremely hot, extremely lava filled volcanic chamber, yet somehow she wasn't being burnt to a crisp."

  • Don't Mess With Skyrim! (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Dar-ea!' Quinn whined as she entered the Morgendorffer's living room, 'it's six in the morning, are you still playing that video game?!'"

  • First Day of Summer (Quinn's Day), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'What do you have there?' Theresa asked. 'Application forms,' Quinn answered. 'Do you have one for here?' 'You want a job in Cashmans for the summer?' 'Yes,' Quinn answered."

  • Kelly Thompson: Party Time Sibling Style, by LadieTAG (part 1): "Kelly woke up to the sounds of Orgy's Blue Monday playing on the radio alarm. She exhaled a long sigh before getting up and heading to the bathroom. She liked to get up early so that she wouldn't have to deal with her bonehead brother or worse, her sports obsessed father."

  • I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (part 6): "Jodie: 'Talking didn't win this title for me. And it won't help me keep it, either. I'm sick of talking about something that goes without saying. I'm the champion, I earned it fair and square, and this title is a part of me. It doesn't matter who the challenger is—they can't match the effort I will put in. I defend this belt not just with my body, but with my life. And that's what someone else will have to give to take it away. Now leave me alone.'"

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 4): "The bell rang and Jane sighed with relief. She could finally get up off her knees and put away the prayer beads. She was almost out the door when... 'Lady Jane Hammond-Lane? A moment, if you please.' Father Tim was standing by the door wearing an expression that could curdle new milk."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 5): "It was nearing the end of Daria's senior year and Daria was heading home from school and there was so much to think about and to do college being at the top of that list."

  • Quinn was Dumped (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jaws dropped as Quinn Morgendorffer walked into Casa Morgendorffer much earlier than usual, and covered from head to toe in what looked like (and certainty smelled like), well..."

  • The Tiger or the Kitten, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Take...her...NOW.' Jane said wearily. 'Gaaaah!' Daria cried, pointing wildly at Quinn. 'What did you DO to me?'"

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 8): "I want to get to the fun stuff, but I have to explain how we got there."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Boo Hoo), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As 'Old Yeller' ended, Daria yawned and said to Jane, 'Well, that's it, you want to go see your brother puke on some more people now?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Monster), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Stop zooming, I mean it! If you can see any of my pores on camrea, I swear I'll kill you! Stop the tape! I do not have pores! My pores are cute! My pores are tiny! I said STOP FILMING GAHDAMMIT STOP FILMING STOP FILMING AAAAAAARGH!' And with that final outburst, Quinn turned into something else."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria locked the front door quietly so no one would hear. She quickly turned and followed Jane into the living room with Tom and Trent, her eyes glittering with unforeseen possibilities. Her steps felt lighter, her mood less cloudy, her desire for company curiously strong. Now that she was out of the hotel, this wasn't such a bad day, was it? It might even be...highly tolerable."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'So, I found this in my locker today, Daria.' Jane held out the note, which Daria calmly took and read."

  • Zero Blue, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The beam shot out, illuminating the bushes at the side of the road. The near flourescent light making them look like cheap fakes from a movie set. Karl swept the beam along the bushes first at the tops, then down near the dirt shoulder of the road. It was during this pass that he saw the boots."

Friday, June 7, 2013

Grease is the Word...Ewwwww!

On this day in 1972, the musical "Grease" opened on Broadway. Helen appears as one of the Pink Ladies, but she doesn't look particularly happy about it. Perhaps because all of that singing and dancing is cutting into her time at the office.

Today is also National Doughnut Day, so go join Daria and Jane at Do Me a Donut for a twisted little cruller.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A Very Economical Pair of Birthdays!

Not one, but two economists were born on this day: Adam Smith in 1723 and John Maynard Keynes in 1883. I doubt even their combined talents could decipher what the hell Mrs. Bennett is trying to illustrate on the board, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • 50 Words of Daria and Jerky (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "001. Love Daria bit into the extra spicy beef jerky and moaned with pleasure. She usually only felt this way when she fantasized about Mack and his ice cream truck."

  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Daria blinked several times, not sure she understood. 'Come ... to ... live with you?' She said hesitantly."

  • Baby, Baby (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "As Daria sat down at lunch, she found Jane talking to Brittany and Jodie. She wanted to complain - she really liked her alone time with Jane - but Jane seemed engrossed in the conversation. 'If it's a boy, I'd call him Colt,' Brittany said. 'And if it's a girl, I'll call her Angie, after my best friend.'"

  • Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 10): "Darius excused himself as soon as politeness would allow for it, which didn't dispel the questioning looks he got from Tom and Elsie. 'I'll need to think of something to say to them,' Darius thought when he saw the intensity of the curiosity in Elsie's eyes especially."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 21c): "Hank and Jacquie were attending a presentation for parents of prospective Grove Hills students (although Jacquie was snoozing through most of it) when Joey Lyndon's parents arrived and took the seats saved for them next to the Brocklethwaites."

  • Finding A New Lane, by RLobinske (part 3): "'Well, I was hoping to talk to Derek about help on a project.' Raising her eyebrow, Karen said, 'You need my husband's help on a project?'"

  • Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (COMPLETE!): "'I... just came to pick up some of my things boys,' Tom said in sadness. 'Sorry.' Moving past them, he opened the door to the room he once shared with his wife. The brothers watched him go him with a suitcase they then realized he had with him."

  • Grandchild of Evil... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Ok Dad,' Daria wheezed as they sat down on old deckchairs in the Morgendorffer's cluttered garage with the windows blacked out, 'Why'd you drag me in here a couple hours before my first day in a new crappy high schools supposed to start?'"

  • Half of my Soul, Val of my Heart (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was jumping up and down, giddy. 'Who the hell are you, and what did you do with Daria?' Jane asked."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 4): "'Oh my god.' There stood Jane with a look of utter shock, the two cans of caffeine free soda rolling on the floor."

  • No Wishes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): ""WAIT!" The Genie's voice boomed through the two girls. "You have rubbed my lamp - and now, I must grant you three wishes!""

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 5): "'Ah Janey, I said no killin' and I meant no killin'. Not until we reach Highland.' 'But I'm bored. What about one cop, or a hobo or something?' 'No,' he muttered into her hair with a mixture of exasperation and love, breathing her in. 'Not yet. Soon though.'"

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 9): "'Daria, I know you guys are on a sabbatical from the God thing and you've been chilling out with us mortals... But you know, some day you may want to get back to doing it full time, and..'"

  • Tiffany as a Brain, by Shiva (part 4): "All good things had to come to an end, and with night approaching the four girls were forced to conceded to time's flow and leave Casa Lane in favor of their homes."

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 7): "I have no fucking idea what time it is, but that could have been because of the J-Bombs that I had started to down like a boss!"

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Tom chortled to himself as he took the long elevator ride to the top of MTV headquarters."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "So, I was like, banging this chick with probably the largest knockers I've ever seen."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): " I was also hammered as hell, I started seeing stars. Over in the adjoining hotel room, I could hear Kev banging someone. He is certainly a Bro! if I ever saw one."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hey icebox woman,' Tom slurred, so drunk he was swaying back and forth."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The ways of the bro were myriad and hazardous."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?' 'Did we move?' 'CUT!' 'Aww Glenn, what is it this time?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Jane found Daria leaning against the wall inside the girl's locker room."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hey!' It was the first time Daria dreaded hearing her best friend's voice. '...Oh. Hi.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I wonder if I'll get a golden iPod out of this...' Quinn mused to herself while looking into the camera and gave it a thumbs up."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "There was a thunderous applause as Superintendent Cartwright handed the golden trophy off to a man in formal dress. He lingered by the side of the podium as the Superintendent started to speak."

  • Untitled Scripficlet #1 (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Trent: 'Oh, hey Janie, Mr. D. What's goin on?'"

  • Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 16): "'Mr. Morgendorffer,' She said while towering over him, arms folded across her chest, 'What are you making?' Victor looked up at her and shrugged, 'A tissue paper sculpture...'"

Monday, June 3, 2013

I Saw Saw the Best Minds Minds of my Generation Generation....

Happy birthday to the late Beat poet Allen Ginsberg, born on this day in 1926. Daria is shown reading Ginsberg's most famous work, "Howl," to the elderly. They failed to appreciate it, but I'm sure Mr. DeMartino (revealed to be a former beatnik in The Daria Diaries) could dig it.

Today is also Repeat Day, so if you've ever wanted to give echolalia a try, now's your chance.

Today is also Repeat Day, so if you've ever wanted to give echolalia a try, now's your chance.

Fandom News!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

"It's like the end of an era!"

Well, today's the big day. As of today, Outpost Daria, one of the most well known and longest running Daria fan sites, is closed. Thanks for all your hard work over the years, Martin.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 6): "She looked over the food and stopped as she realized there was something else sitting next to her plate. Spike's journal. Twilight swallowed heavily, her appetite suddenly gone."

  • Another Lawndale's Episode, by Silver (part 4): "The first thing Daria did upon starting her knightmare frame was to go careening backwards through the thin wall of the warehouse. Not intentionally, mind you. It was just a rookie mistake; the kind of thing that occurs when one is completely unfamiliar with how to control such a machine."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17.5): "Ethan heard a rapping at his door. He quickly hid the brain he was poking electrodes into and stepped out into the hallway."

  • Daria & Co. Watches the Girl's Generation Music Video for 'Gee' (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: Ok so we're in a meatlocker. Quinn: Daaaarrreeeaaa! That's a clothing store! Daria: Like I said, a meatlocker."

  • The Doctor and Sarah 00 – Destination: Gallifrey, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Sarah Jane Smith wandered through the TARDIS. Each corridor looked much like all the others that she passed through. She was in thought. The Doctor had just left her at the place that certainly wasn't South Croydon. However the TARDIS returned within a few seconds of leaving."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 21b): "Joey's presence gave Dylan's parents somebody to talk to instead of him, which might have counted as a plus, except that what they mostly talked to him about was his long list of extracurricular activities. That brought Dylan's parents back round to asking Dylan why he didn't participate more, turning the possible plus into an actual minus."

  • Evil Thom (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'MUHAHAHAHA!!!' T(h)om Sloane cackled at the withering figures all nice and imprisoned in his super-duper SnarkerTrapp5000!"

  • Fate/Lawndale Codes, by Silver (part 5): "'I cannot BELIEVE you tried to kill my best friend!' Daria snapped at Lancer, who was managing a minor miracle in walking in a straight line while looking straight down. 'I gave you one rule! ONE! What was it?'"

  • Finding an Accord, by Lord Yellowtail (prologue part 2): "He leafed through the sheets, gesturing for Charlie to look at them. 'I'm sure you've figured out what this is.' 'An encoded secret message, sir. But not from one of our people?'"

  • Guesswork, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Best friends Lou Rose and Laurie Welch were the only teachers in the faculty lounge that morning when Anthony DeMartino came in. 'Good morning, Lou', he said pleasantly. 'Good morning, Laurie.'"

  • Heroine (Iron Chef: Unusual Superpowers), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The terrible smell of burning artificial cheese sauce spread through the Payday warehouse store. A moment later, all the power in the entire building went out."

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 3): "The road remained clear, a few revenants in the distance but not noticing the survivors. Dozens of ghouls were crowded around the main entrance, focused on -- Daria looked again. Ghouls crowded around the main entrance which was still intact. If the horde had found a way in, why was this batch at the wrong entrance? That didn't fit what she'd seen before. Unless --"

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 4): "Quinn sat in a daze in the waiting room. She didn't speak or move until, hours later, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 'Aunt Rita?' she asked, confused, as she looked up."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 3.5): "'What do you mean you already know?' Daria was torn part of her was furious that Tom knew her deep dark secret but another part was relived he was still here. But mostly she wanted to know how the hell he found out."

  • On the Ground (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "It was a ritual since the invention of home video cameras: any and all baby footage would be played at the most embarrassing time for the adult child. The time and place: Daria Morgendorffer's wedding. The culprit: Amy Barksdale."

  • The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 10): "The suck reared it's ugly head two days later when Helen Morgendorffer became a perfect storm of having a reprise from work and a parental kick to boot."

  • Shopper's Cramp, by SacredDust (part 3): "In her high school days, Quinn knew Jane only as her sister's weird friend who painted ugly things. On this occasion she was a partner in crime. They were, technically, trespassing. But the city clearly didn't care about this place, and with Jane's morbid artistic sensibilities, Quinn knew the older girl couldn't resist the opportunity to tag along. Unlike Jane, Quinn knew the mall inside and out--specifically, the best ways to sneak in."

  • The Summer Back, by Shiva (part 6): "'So Daria,' Quinn said to get the ball rolling, 'Are you and Jamie official?' 'Define official.' Daria offered up as an effective dodge. Her little sister's eyes narrowed."

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 6): "Have I mentioned how much I fuckin' LOVE my Dad?! Because the trip in the private jet turned into a mofo party plane all the way ba-bay!"

  • Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by SinisterExaggerator (COPMLETE!): "'"Daria,' Jane called, 'that smirk. What's our malevolent misanthrope done now?'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Let me get the straight. Al is gonna pay us fifteen grand to shoot some little rich boy for cheating on and messing around his daughter?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Jane - see what's checking you out?' 'Yeah. I see him.' 'Want to take care of this before it becomes a problem?'"