Sunday, September 30, 2018

Who Did Kevin Piss Off This Time?

Daria's off to solve another case in honor of the anniversary of Murder, She Wrote, which first aired on this day in 1984. I don't think Jessica Fletcher ever solved a case quite as convoluted as the one Daria dreamed in the parody episode "Murder, She Snored," but then again, who has?

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 9): "No amount of pleading to the gods could stop Saturday from arriving. Daria spent her day doing what she did best: avoiding all human contact. Too bad that couldn't last forever."

  • A Creep By Any Other Name (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Then: Daria's phone rang again. Checking the caller ID, she sighed and answered it. 'I told you to stop calling me, you creep.'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 7): "Erin liked attending conferences. They were indoor, they were warm and the good ones were catered. The downside was she had next to nothing to do and they were boring."

  • The Great Regression (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "The house is a fairly decent white sided two story. Inside is a visibly pregnant Lindy. Lindy is now married to Jim's older brother, Chris, and they are expecting their first child. A visibly excited Chris enters the room." (Part 2)

  • Jay Lane Chapter 1, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Jay slowly enjoyed the taste of the cold beer. It went perfectly with the salty of the fries and with the greasy of the hamburger he had eaten before. Of course helping the band to load and unload the stuff from the van was tiring but it was worth it."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 27): "'Thanks for switching weekends with me, Christie.' Elizaveta said to her fellow employee at the bookstore as she was refreshing the shelves in the young adults section. 'My anya's niece is getting married this weekend.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 150): "It's a real waste of time to visit Lawndale, Maryland. Lawndale wasn't known for much of anything until Revelation Day and now it's known for the teenage DPIs that make up National Legion Chapter One."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Which one is yours?' 'Oh, that's my kiddos over there--' The man pointed as two girls, one whose every facet screamed Popular and the other who screamed Freaks & Geeks - entered the high school."

Friday, September 28, 2018

Beer? Cool.

I think Jesse has (once again) gotten confused. See, today is Drink Beer Day, but Jesse has clearly allowed the beer to drink him. I feel like that's some kind of metaphor, but that might just be the beer talking.

Once you've celebrated Drink Beer Day enough, you'll be all ready for Ask a Stupid Question Day! Luckily for Kevin and Brittany, they can easily observe this one without the aid of alcohol. Mr. DeMartino might want some, though.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

An Apple a Day Keeps the QB Away!

Kevin's doing his part for Johnny Appleseed Day, although it's possible that he's just trying to find a good replacement for the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree/Crutch. I am deeply skeptical of Kevin's farming skills, but whatever keeps him happy and occupied is fine with me.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (parts 7 and 8): "Daria really should've known that a simple trip to the convenience store would not go easily. She managed to wrangle up a four pack of toilet paper for her dad but she'd barely made it out of the store before she was confronted by the masses." (Part 8)

  • Aunt Daria (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (part 2): "'Which year is this cool guy at?' 'Quinn, it is a teacher. Too '60 clothes. Also he's not rich.'"

  • Bad Influence (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim have sat Tommy down in the living room for a very stern lecture. Quinn said 'Cussing out your teacher!!! What the hell!?!' Tommy said 'But Shane told me I was cool.'" (Part 3)

  • Coffee, by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "The remainder of the movie played out quicker than Daria would have preferred. As the credits rolled across the screen, Stacy sat up and stretched, letting out a long yawn. 'Excuse me,' she said, the last of the yawn working its way into her voice."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 46 - 49): "The Morgendorffers returned to the motel and ate a late breakfast. Afterwards. They went back to their rooms, Helen enjoining her daughters to look around and make sure they didn't leave anything behind, and then loaded their luggage. They then checked out, strapped Veronica into her booster seat, then set off for the road that would take them to Virginia." (Part 47) (Part 48) (Part 49)

  • Tales from the Crypt: Who was Texting Me?, by xXSlasherXx (part 1): "Football practice must've been running long, because Kevin had never been this late to pick her up on date night. It was a Friday night and Kevin was two hours late. Brittany was positively livid."

  • The Temptation of Tom Sloane, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Cedars of Lawndale Mental Health Unit. Quinn is entering the visitation room. Daria is there waiting for her, sitting on a sofa. She is still wearing her straightjacket and has a vacant look on her face."

Monday, September 24, 2018

Muppets and that...that...Grunge!

Daria's only freaking us all out because she's celebrating the anniversary of Muppet creator Jim Henson's birth on this day in 1936. For extra Muppet fun, read Erin M's "The Muppet Show: Cynicism & Violence" and Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria."

Today is also the anniverary of Nirvana's Nevermind, released on this day in 1991. Without Nirvana, there would be no Mystik Spiral, and without Mystik Spiral there would be no "Icebox Woman." Wait, what was my point?

Fandom News!

Saturday, September 22, 2018

This Could Get Ugly. Even Uglier than a Misshapen Pile of Wax!

Helen and Linda are having a friendly phone conversation to wish each other a happy American Business Women's Day. Or at least it was friendly for the first few seconds. By now I'm sure it's devolved into a vicious argument over who's more successful in their field and whose daughter is more popular. The swearing and screaming will begin any moment.

If she needs any help calming down, Helen should go find that hobbit Jake gave her years ago. Not only is it very soothing, but today is also Hobbit Day and therefore very appropriate. We are sure that it's really a hobbit?

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "One week quickly bled into three. Daria wasn't expecting someone like Brittany to have much resolve so it was a good thing that she hadn't killed Kevin yet."

  • Aunt Daria (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (part 1): "'The parents had a boy, named uncle Fedor. He was very serious and independent. He had learned how to read 4 years old. 6 years old, he boilded soup by himself. On the whole, he was a good boy. The parents were good too.'"

  • Bad Influence (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Mrs. Henderson is teaching her first grade class. The students include Tommy, Timmy and Teddy Carbone along with Quinn Ruttheimer, Kevin Thompson Junior and Shane Sloan along with his two lackeys, Al and Lou. Mrs. Henderson is a dark haired woman in her thirties with thick rimmed glasses. She's drawing a math problem on the black board."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 6): "Erin walked over to Anne's desk. 'Have you been to lunch yet Anne?' 'Just a Moment', Anne replied as she typed rapidly on her computer. 'Chew on that, you electronic monster.' she instructed her computer."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 21): "'Daria, are you doing alright?' Tom asked. He and Kevin stood over her. All of them were in the nurse's office, or at least what remained of the nurse's office as half the room appeared to have been destroyed."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 25 and 26): "'I guess our pariah status still hasn't been completely revoked.' Daria deadpanned as she and Jane stopped off at their lockers." (Part 26)

  • The Temptation of Tom Sloane, by Rémi (parts 3 - 6): "Griffin household. The Fashion Club is having a meeting. Sandi is giving instructions while Stacy conscientiously takes notes. Tiffany , with vacant eyes, is looking at herself in a pocket mirror. Quinn is trying to pay attention to Sandi and to read one of her textbooks at the same time. Sandi notices this." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • Touched by Mars, by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "The shadows of Nowruz flames danced on the curved metal wall. Or they appeared to, at least. It was the memory of holy fires, copied from the fire-capped temples of Ecbatana, and replicated in hologram. A real fire had no place on a space station, even one as large as Constitutio VII."

  • What Road Trip?, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Okay - what are you three up to?' Esra, Rossalyn and Hector - an unusual gathering by anyone's measure, Daria thought - looked up from the table they sat around as Daria walked into the Legion Academy's 'holochamber'."

Thursday, September 20, 2018

A Tennis Game to Remember

Daria is recreating--if halfheartedly--the end of the famous "Battle of the Sexes" tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs on this day forty-five years ago. Daria, you're going to have to up your game if you want to make Ms. Barch proud!

If that's not enough motivation, then perhaps we could promise to take her to Pizza Prince to celebrate National Pepperoni Pizza Day if she wins. Extra quart of grease and all.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Add a Movie and a Back Seat for Extra Fun!

Daria hasn't yet decided if she's going to eat the burger or stick it in her boots and enjoy the squishy feeling around her toes, but either way she'll be celebrating National Cheeseburger Day. You can celebrate, too, if you'd like to "Burger! Get! Get burger!" I just don't recommend taking any of Skip's burgers--he's apparently got a whole system and the last thing you want to do it mess it up.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Daria seemed to blink her eyes and it was time for school again. She had already been waiting outside for several minutes by the time Kevin pulled up to the house."

  • Child Disservices (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "The outside of the house looks no different from when we last saw it eight years ago. The only thing that's different is the cars in the driveway." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Death of a Secret, by Caesar Augustus Plutarch (part 1): "Daria sat in her car watching her father through the restaurant's large plate glass window. Even with the painted lettering obscuring part of her vision she could clearly see him embrace a young woman."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 5b): "Erin arrived at Boston Products at her usual time so she was surprised to see Mr Stojoski already in his office. Going to his door she saw her flustered boss racing back and forward from desk to book shelf and back again."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 23 and 24): "'I heard about your video project for Mr. O'Neill's class.' Ms. Defoe said as she lunched with two of her favorite dancers, Elizaveta and Angie. 'Timothy described as a "slice of Americana."' She laughed." (Part 24)

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 18): "Crap! Crap! Crap! Joey thought angrily as he run to the bathroom. He had hoped to stay clean while helping his father but it didn't happen. Now he and his clothes were soiled with oil and grease."

  • The Temptation of Tom Sloane, by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Lawndale High. Mr. O'Neill's class. The bell is ringing. The students get ready to leave. The three J's approach Quinn has she's putting her notebook in her bag." (Part 2)

  • The Wrath of Con, by Lady Evil (part 22): "'So,' Jane asked, standing in the living room before Trent in her Pilgrim girl costume. 'How do I look?' 'Like you're about to burn someone for witchcraft.' said Trent."

Sunday, September 16, 2018

"Like David Coppertone!"

Kevin's got a few tricks up his sleeve on David Copperfield's birthday, but it's Ruttheimer the Prestidigitator who owes his act to the famous stage magician. If nothing else, Kevin is very good at making Mr. DeMartino's good mood vanish in an instant.

Today is also both Working Parents Day and National Guacamole Day, so I hope Helen and Jake don't work too hard or else they might miss the guacamole. Then again, considering what happened the last time the Morgendorffers had guacamole, that might be for the best.

Fandom News!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Donuts and Angst...a Great Combination!

If you've got the time and the sweet tooth, better swing by Do Me a Donut for National Cream-Filled Donut Day. Unless you prefer twisted little crullers, that is.

Today is also the anniversary of something that happened in Angelinhel's fanfic 9.14.04, but I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what it is if you haven't read it yet.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "'Doug Thompson, 18, captain and quarterback of the Lawndale Lions, made history today as he secured the team's first championship title' It was an old newspaper article, faded from time, which Kevin now kept tacked to his bedroom wall."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2j): "'Great,' Stacy said, a bright smile lighting up her face. Looking down at Daria's plate, she asked, 'Are you ready for dessert?'"

  • Iron Chef: Truth or Dare, by Princess_Pasta and JPAGC (parts 3 and 4): "Kevin was no wimp and so there was really only one choice. 'Dare'." (Part 4)

  • Is It Over Yet? (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (part 3): "Quinn, Stacy and Lindy are there to bail their guys out. As they approach the station they see Jim, Chuck, Chris, Mack, Kevin and Tony emerge from the station. They are surprised. Quinn said "Jim, we just came to bail you guys out."

  • Jay Lane, by ST91 (part 7): "When Trent Lane woke up he felt confused. He had no alarms in his room and rarely wore the wristwatch. I guess it's afternoon. Trent thought, looking out the window."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (parts 16 and 17): "'Let's go inside, hurry!' Daria said. 'Upstairs! In mom's room!' She added immediately. Still shaken by the situation, Quinn did what her sister said." (Part 17)

  • The Truth Seeker, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Visitation room. Quinn is coming in. She finds Daria sitting on a chair, wearing her usual straightjacket. This time, though, she isn't strapped to the chair. However, she is staring blankly at the ground and doesn't react to Quinn entering." (Part 15)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 149): "Jodie Landon jumped out of bed. She was 11 minutes before the alarm went off and once her eyes opened, she jumped out of bed. Even though she could not tell time exactly, she could estimate a time based on biofeedback - her body tempature, intensity of previous REM cycle, blood pressure (she was very good at guessing it and her blood pressure was usually very stable)."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The Tank careened wildly around the corner, briefly coming up on two wheels before slamming back down."

  • The Weather On Planet Quinn, by kinkfloyd (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn,' my mother interrupts my phone conversation, 'will you go ask your sister to come down for a minute?' She's too busy to even look up from her mess of papers as she speaks to me."

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Go, Daria! Play that Game!

Daria's taking time out from her busy writing schedule to play a little Cannibal Fragfest, but if she really wanted to celebrate National Video Games Day she'd join Ted at the VR arcade. Whether your game of choice is Pong or Grand Theft Auto, feel free to pwn some n00bs or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Today is also one of Mr. O'Neill's favorite holidays, National Day of Encouragement. Hey, just because he sucks at it doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it.

Fandom News!

Monday, September 10, 2018


Happy 100th birthday to Rin Tin Tin, whose cartoon doppelganger Leary is pictured at right. Of course, like the original Leary, both dogs are now long gone, but were replaced multiple times. Yikes, that went dark fast.

Speaking of depressing, since today is TV Dinner Day you might consider eating one yourself. Jane would, except that she's saving it for Thanksgiving.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (parts 2 and 3): "Brittany always broke up with him first, never vice versa. Most of the time, it was for the same reasons: he'd forgotten their anniversary, he'd missed her phone calls, he'd looked at some girl for too long. In short, he was his usual oblivious self. This time, however, it was because she couldn't 'deal with him' anymore." (Part 3)

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 10): "Daria sat in the library watching the feeds from the two rescuers sent out to what she though of as 'the mysterious craft from outer space.'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 5): "In Erin's opinion it was ridiculously early as she parked her car in front of Michelle's house. She checked the address again and wondered how Michelle owned a house in the outer suburbs of Boston."

  • First Day on Campus, by bored engineer (COMPLETE!): "After spending several hours of her life waiting in a line in an unconditioned college bookstore, Daria's nominally limited patience has waned."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 28): "Helen and HJ got a surprise when they stepped outside their hotel the next morning. It was cold and windy. 'We'd better dress warmly,' said Helen. 'It's likely to be chilly where we're going.'"

  • Is It Over Yet?, Part II, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn, Jim and his brother, Chris are at the kitchen table having dinner. Tony, Jim and Chris' father, is with them because he just showed up and forced Jim to let him in. Tense doesn't even begin to describe how Jim and Chris are feeling. Tony immediately spits out his food."

  • Jay Lane, by ST91 (parts 4 - 6): "'Didn't I tell you to stay away from her?' Mack asked rhetorically. The cold rage clear in his voice. 'Come on Mack don't make a scene, we were just talking.'"

  • The Legion vs. Doctor Diabolical!, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "It was a hot sunny day, and Legionnaires Sandi, Quinn, Stacy, Jodie, Julia, Daria, and Karen were enjoying a quiet day hanging out at the park. All of them were dressed casually in shorts and t-shirts and sandals since none of them were expecting anything out of the ordinary."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 22): "Pinning her daughter's essay to the refrigerator door, Helen cried out triumphantly, 'There it is for all to see!' 'The Door of Honor.' Daria quipped sarcastically."

  • The Truth Seeker, by Rémi (part 12): "Dr. Calan's office. Dr. Calan is listening to Quinn with sympathy as she's pouring her heart out. Tears are escaping Quinn's eyes as she talks."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Lawndale High School Gossip Thread), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "SONIA: Like oh my gawd! Did you hear what happened? MELISSA: What Soni? SONIA: You know that one girl, Brooke?"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 148): "'And like,' Stacy said, 'the guy comes up to me with his eyes wide open and he says, incredulously, "you know who Reno Nevada is?" As if I was some kind of bimbo. And my thought was like, "Dude - there are like eleven movies, all of the novelizations, the freaking car-TOON! There are yak herders in Mongolia who know who Reno Nevada is!"'"

Saturday, September 8, 2018

There He Is....

I see Joey is surprisingly happy to be the latest contestant crowned Miss America, long after the very first pageant happened on this day in 1921. I suppose it makes sense--unlike "Daria," "Joey" is already spelled with a Y and therefore he was a shoe-in. Congratulations, Joey!

Today was also the day of the Starry Night Ball, according to Is It Fall Yet?. Tickets are still available for $5,000 a table if you'd like to--oh, you already have plans? Okay then.

Fandom News!

Thursday, September 6, 2018

You Know What to Do! Don't Wait!

Daria looks like she's celebrating Read a Book Day, but that's just a clever ruse. See, for Daria that's every day, so in reality she's failing to celebrate Fight Procrastination Day! Unless reading is the task she's refusing to put off until later, in which case I have a splitting headache already from trying to follow my own logic. Never mind; I'm going to go read a book.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Kevin Thompson knew that he was a lot of things but smart wasn't one of them."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2i): "Stacy's laughter broke Daria out of her thoughts. 'Small talk is kind of hard when you've just shared something so heavy, huh?' Daria chuckled, relieved Stacy was having the same issue. 'It doesn't help that we went to high school together.'"

  • Daria's Creepy Dates, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "There was a knock at the front door. 'Daria, your date's here!' Jake called out. He quickly navigated to his camera app and started recording a video; after all, this was his kiddo's very first date, and he wanted to have a record of it forever."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 27): "Roger was still awestruck by not only meeting Albus Dumbledore, learning that Helen was The Boy Who Lived's guardian and meeting the head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, but he did manage to apport HJ, Helen, and himself back to the Alley."

  • Is It Over Yet?, Part I, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn and Lindy are having pizza and catching up. Lindy said 'Thanks for taking me out for pizza. What's the occasion?' Quinn said 'I just wanted some one on one girl time with someone other than Daria, Stacy or Sandi for a change. What have you been up to lately?'"

  • Jay Lane, by ST91 (parts 1 - 3): "Driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!! Relentless the alarm rang, waking Jay Lane out of his sleep. Slowly and reluctantly, the 16-year-old boy opened his eyes." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 21): "'Once I got home, I parked myself under the shower and stayed there for at least an hour.' Jodie grumbled as she and Mack sat with the Barbies at their usual lunch table."

  • The Things We've Learned So Far, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Esra pulled open the uncommonly huge, washing machine-sized bag of popcorn down in the middle of the commons room as several of her fellow Legion Academy students dove in."

  • The Truth Seeker, by Rémi (part 11): "Casa Lane, Jane's room. Quinn is still flailing her arms angrily at Trent, without much result. Trent is busy protecting himself. Jane sighs. Jane : Okay, that's enough, Quinn."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 147): "'Yeahhhh!!' It was a four alarm fire, or at least you would have thought so."

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Gosh, She Sure Looks Content Out Here, Doesn't She?

I think Ms. Barch has taken National Wildlife Day further than necessary, but since that appears to be a female deer I guess she'll be okay. I'm not sure I really want to celebrate this one, being much more of an "indoors" type person, but I suspect Mr. DeMartino has already left on another hike.

Today is also Newspaper Carrier Day, and if you think that doesn't have any connection to Daria then let me remind you of one thing: without newspaper delivery, what would Daria and Jake have silently bonded over at the dinner table? So there.

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Even Worse, She'll Never Get Those Bloodstains Out of Her Clothes!

Ten years ago today, The Angst Guy created Dead Stacy Rowe Day on this very blog. It never achieved national holiday status, but judging from how badly Stacy tends to be treated in fanfic it seems to have a pretty devoted local following. So, celebrate today by thinking of new ways to make Stacy hyperventilate with fear. Go on, it'll be fun! As long as you aren't Stacy, that is.

Fanfic Update!
  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 5): "Erin checked her watch again. Twenty minutes, was twenty minutes too long to wait? She checked the name at the restaurant, again. Yes, she was in the right places, at the right time. So he was late."

  • Helen's Odyssey (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Helen is seated at her desk and looks miserable. She's alone with her thoughts.. How did I get to this? My lifelong dream of making partner has turned into a nightmare." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Superiors, by ST91 (parts 12 - 15): "Anyone who knew Robert Ramirez had only good things to say about him. Tall, handsome, muscular, kind, well-mannered. The compliments were wasted on him." (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15)

  • The Truth Seeker, by Rémi (parts 8 - 10): "Quinn and Tom are sitting together at a café. They have been talking for a while. Tom : What a story ! Hallucinogenic berries, uh ? Was your sister really trying to get rid of you?" (Part 9) (Part 10)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 146): "Sandi had been bombarded with questions regarding the first Legion dinner."