Monday, May 16, 2022

Don't Pierce Your Barbecue!


Daria's already gotten started celebrating National Piercing Day, but I hope she's ready for My Belly Button Itches Like Hell Day tomorrow. (Yes, I just made that up. Don't fact-check me.)

Today is also National Barbecue Day, so why not pave over that bomb shelter and make a grill to entertain the neighbors? Just check that everyone's out of the bomb shelter first, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 13 - 16): "It had been going on for quite some time already." (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16)

  • The Sappiest Place on Earth, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria and Jane were in their usual booth chatting over pizza, a habit from their days as teenagers in Lawndale that they continue as forty-year-old New Yorkers."

  • Tori In A Box, by arsyncosplays (COMPLETE!): "'Michael’s going away for a week,' I say, Becky and I are walking down our school hallway. I graduate next month."

  • Why the Morgendorffer's Don't Have a Third Child (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The seven-year-old Daria stood solemnly next to the makeshift guillotine, her handmade Marrianne of France costume held together by safety pins and prayers."

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Where's Don Quixote When You Need Him?


Brittany is ready for National Windmill Day, but am I the only one who thinks those windows are a bit on the small side for her? Perhaps that's a good thing, or else the windmill arms wouldn't be able to rotate.

Today is also Archery Day, so this might be a good time for Linda and Helen to hold another "friendly" competition. Except that it would probably end in one or both of them dead from arrow injuries.

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 12, 2022

It's Always May 12th in Lawndale


Quinn wants everyone to know that today is May 12th, which is the day the Morgendorffer calendar is inexplicably always stuck on. Groundhog Day scenario? Defective calendar? Quantum singularity? Sheer laziness? You make the call!

Today is also International Nurses Day, so to all the nurses out there--whether you're squealing in disgust at a student's rash or Tom dressing up as Nurse Goodnsexy--have a good one!

Fanfic Update!
  • American Girl, by ladyevil (part 1): "It was 10 am on Thanksgiving Day. Alfred basted the turkey breast loaf in his oven. It would be done in time for lunch."

  • Daria Spin the Bottle, by Meester_Lee (part 9): "Her ears pierced, Daria stopped by the pharmacy to stock up on supplies while the healing process was underway, then returned home."

  • Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 9 - 12): "The forest had been quite dark and eerie at night, to the point that Quinn, Stacy and Jeffy had found it difficult to fall asleep, and yet everything was so different now that the sun was once again shining in a vast and clear August sky..." (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Anyone Want an Economist Cocktail?


Mrs. Bennett looks especially...um...crustaceous in honor of National Shrimp Day, and I'm just glad that the holiday refers to prawns. Us short people get enough grief as it is without needing a whole holiday to pick on us!

Today is also the beginning of National Mental Health Awareness Week, so please take care of yourself, okay? Also check in on your shrimp in case they're struggling. We all need help sometimes, even the invertebrates!

Fandom News!

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Motherhood is Decidedly Not Shiny


Happy Mother's Day to every mother out there, but especially Tiffany, who is clearly not having one of her best days. Kudos to her for keeping her figure, though! That's right, Tiffany: you still do not look freaking fat.

Today is also No Socks Day, so mothers everywhere can air out those stinky feet! What, were you expecting flowers or a spa day or something? Pffft.

Fanfic Update!
  • Beach Party Invitation, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 2): "After bribing the guard with Jane’s life drawings, they entered Crewe Neck. “Interesting instrumentals,” Daria commented as they approached the Taylor’s mansion."

  • Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 5 - 8): "It was already night at the peaceful streets of Lawndale, with the vast and lonely gardens, the sounds of birds and crickets and a few lights coming from every house here and there." (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Friday, May 6, 2022

Child Care Providers MUST Wear Pants!


Let's have a brief Child Care Provider Day moment of silence for the many baby-sitters who fell in the line of duty while trying to wrangle Young Daria and Young Quinn. At least they can feel some satisfaction in knowing Daria got a taste of her own medicine in "Pinch Sitter."

Today is also National No Pants Day, and I just want to remind Jake that this holiday does not apply if he's going to stand in front of his bedroom window singing about what a beautiful morning in the 'burbs it is. Please.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

No Fires in the Rooms Without Fireplaces!


Trent is prepped and ready for International Firefighters Day, but he's not really the kind of fireman who inspires me with confidence. Yes, he's awake, but you just know he's going to get distracted trying to come up with another rhyme for "moth to a flame" and let the whole house burn down.

Today is also Star Wars Day, and if you have to ask why May Fourth is Star Wars Day then you clearly are not geeky enough for this fandom.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 11): "Daria once again found herself spending the day alone from her friends...God was it strange to admit, but she did have friends (as in plural) now."

  • Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 1 - 4): "Lawndale, just outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was a very peaceful and almost perfect place for most people to settle and start a good family." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • A Lane’s Return to Lawndale, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "Summer Lane looked at Lawndale from the roadside. She usually hated returning to the place. This time was no different."

Monday, May 2, 2022

"Goo goo!"


Everyone say hi to Evan Landon for Baby Day, although considering that Evan was an infant in 1998 he's probably grown a bit since then. He might even have a baby of his own! Unless Andrew is still too young to be a grandfather, that is.

If Evan has more than one child, though, then they can also celebrate Brothers and Sisters Day. Heaven knows Jodie will be too busy to celebrate with him, and Rachel may not have forgiven him for taking her place as youngest in the family.

Fandom News!

Saturday, April 30, 2022

Do We Have to Appreciate Mullets?


I don't think Sandi's really in the spirit of Hairstyle Appreciation Day, but I think she should try to be more grateful. I mean, Quinn worked on it all night!

Since today is also National Honesty Day, we should try to give our accurate opinion on Sandi's new cut. For me, I actually think if she evened out the ends it would be very cute. Anyone else?

Fanfic Update!
  • The 25 Best Movies for a Bad Movie Night, by Erin M (part 5): "A forgotten entry in the “slobs vs. snobs” college genre popularized by Animal House, the four worst college students in the country ('You’re not at the bottom of the list, you ARE the bottom of the list!' says the dean) are given an opportunity to actually bring some honor to their university for once, as well as be given degrees in any field they want, if they can win annual river raft race against the school’s major rival, Ivy University."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 2): "Daria’s homecoming was rougher than she expected. First, there was the problem of getting out of Britain."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 13): "Night had fallen when 007 approached the Bodleian Library. He was sure it was shut. Fortunately, he knew there was an underground entrance on the western side."

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Thooooose Staaaars are Reeeeeallly Shiiiiny!


I'm not sure if Tiffany is celebrating International Astronomy Day or if she's just trying to find someone in the universe who actually cares whether or not she looks fat. I just hope she doesn't find any aliens. Can you imagine extraterrestrials looking for intelligent life, and the first human they meet is Tiffany?

Today is also Great Poetry Reading Day, and Quinn needs to put her greasy fry poem away. I said great poetry!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

It's a "G'Day" for Hugs!


Daria is saying a great big hell no to Hug an Australian Day. However, since she isn't actually Australian, I guess she doesn't have anything to worry about.

Today is also National Kids and Pets Day, which is not as odd a combination as you might think. I have both, and can attest that they all make messes, whine, and contribute nothing productive whatsoever to the household.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 1): "Time to get off this thing, thought Julia. She didn’t like air travel very much."

  • A Different Parade, by DuckyMarie (COMPLETE!): "I'm sitting on the couch watching Sick Sad World doing my normal Saturday routine since Jane and Tom got together, of nothing."

  • In the arms of Jane, by AleisterLeftCold (COMPLETE!): "Daria had spent her summer with Tom, Jane’s ex, and her soon to be ex. Tom was fun, but Daria was starting to feel a repulsion to him as a whole."

Sunday, April 24, 2022

They're Rebelling Against Wrap Skirts!


I'm not sure if the Fashion Club has decided to take a really hard line against fashion don'ts or if they're just celebrating Fashion Revolution Day in a very literal sense. Regardless, better either stay out of their way or update your wardrobe.

Today is also the anniversary of Willem de Kooning's birth in 1904. We know two things from The Daria Diaries: that Jane was a fan, and Trent couldn't spell.

Fandom News!

Friday, April 22, 2022

I Kant Believe He's 298!


Even if he were awake, I don't think Tom would be impressed to know that today is the anniversary of Immanuel Kant's birth in 1724. Turns out that dry, ponderous intellectuals aren't his thing. Unless they wear boots and green jackets, that is.

Today is also Girl Scout Leader Day, so get out there and lead a troop in a nice hike while singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt." Sanity is overrated, anyway.

Fanfic Update!
  • Mysteries of Lawndale 03: Night of the Coffee House, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "'Did you have to tell the police officer I had suspicions?' Dewey asked as they walked away from the café."

  • Sarcasm always wins, by DuckyMarie (part 2): "The next day I go through my normal classes at the normal boring pase. I stay after school with Mr. O'Neill for the so-called Self-Esteem Course. I take my seat and look around and see about a half-dozen others in the room."

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Everyone is a Look Alike if You're High Enough!


Looks like Trent has already gotten the message that today is 4/20. (Seriously, don't try to tell me that his persistent cough is just a cold.) If you celebrate, please be responsible!

Today is also Look Alike Day, so watch out for that girl who looks like Stacy, except when she turns around. And that girl who looks like that girl.

Monday, April 18, 2022

Jodie and Jake Both Need a Vacation


Jodie trying to keep calm as she balances four plates is not only a perfect metaphor for her life, but also a good image for International Juggler's Day. Just wait until her parents decide she's slacking off and try to add another four plates.

Speaking of pressure, today is also National Stress Awareness Day, and you can be sure that Jake is already fully aware of it. "Stressed? Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!"

Fanfic Update!
  • Night shift, by vixens (COMPLETE!): "'Remember the job I told you about? The one at the movie theater.' Daria said lying on Jane’s bed with her head hanging loosely at the end of it, turning her vision all upside down."

Saturday, April 16, 2022

Enjoy It While It Lasts, Jakey!


I'm glad that Helen is enjoying Husband Appreciation Day, at least until her cell phone rings and she goes back to Taking Husbands for Granted Day. Heaven knows Jake doesn't get a lot of appreciation from anyone in his family during the rest of the year!

Today is also National Librarian Day, and as one of fandom's librarians I encourage everyone to celebrate by giving me chocolate! Also, shhhhh.

Fandom News!

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Watch Out for Tuna Nets!


Brittany's having a great time for National Dolphin Day, but someone should warn her that it's going to be difficult to hold her pom-poms. The half-time show back flips are going to be something else, though!

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "The Lab Brat" in 1997 and "Of Human Bonding" in 2000. No dolphins in either, but there was a traumatized mouse in one and a bumblebee pajamas in the other.

Fanfic Update!
  • And then Jane was a P-Zombie (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "As Daria Morgendorffer awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found herself in a world filled with philosophical zombies."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "The Doctor followed Sigrun into the console room and immediately went to the scanner."

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Be Kind or Face a Lawsuit!


Helen's making sure everyone knows that today is International Be Kind to Lawyers Day, but I think only Jake will have an easy time with this one. Daria might observe International Tolerate Lawyers Until You Can Escape Their Presence Day instead.

Today is also National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day, but please remember to unwrap the cheese before you make the sandwich. Comfort food is far less comforting when it comes with cellophane.

Fandom News!

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Does Mini-Golf Count?


Jake's out there having the best Golfer's Day ever, or at least he will until Helen catches him. Enjoy it while you can, Jake!

Today is also National Siblings Day, a holiday Daria and Quinn would rather ignore. As would the Barksdale sisters. And most of Jane and Trent's siblings. And Sandi and her brothers. And...well, you get the idea.

Finally, today is National Encourage a Young Writer Day, so write that story, Daria! You can do it! Unless your video game is at a good part, in which case I guess the writing can wait until tomorrow.

Fanfic Update!
  • The 25 Best Movies for a Bad Movie Night, by Erin M (part 4): "Robert Rodriguez and Scream writer Kevin Williamson put a teenage spin on Invasion of the Body Snatchers in this surprisingly star powered movie."

  • Lawndale, by patrickxtrem (COMPLETE!): "A teenage girl with glasses, a green jacket, and a black skirt entered the police station, as she walked up to the front desk to a plump cop drinking a decaf coffee."

Friday, April 8, 2022

Say Hi to the Monkeys!


Looks like Trent and Jane are enjoying Zoo Lover's Day, but we'll see how big a fan Jane is after she sees what's going to happen to her hair. Then again, she really can't blame the tiger for that one.

Today is also Draw a Picture of a Bird Day, so while you're at the zoo you might want to bring some paper and a pencil. Also, I don't recommend trying to model your hairstyle after birds. Not only will it likely turn out badly, the birds might be insulted by your presumptuousness.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Is There Room in There for the Football Team?


I sure hope Quinn remembered to observe Plan Your Epitaph Day, because Daria looks ready to start filling in that grave at any second. Time's running out, Quinn!

Today is also National Student-Athlete Day, but at Ms. Li's Lawndale High every day is National Student-Athlete Day. Especially if your name is Kevin Thompson.

Fanfic Update!
  • The 25 Best Movies for a Bad Movie Night, by Erin M (part 3): "This one, to be honest with you, isn’t available on any streaming service and we had to rely on a VHS copy Jane’s brother procured from the closing Lackluster Video store back in our old hometown."

  • ATTENTION WHORE MAGIC, by SPEEDCOREIDOLATER (part 4): "Quinn had always wanted to stand on a stage. In the past, she’d dream of being a Hollywood starlet with her pick of cinema’s most smouldering leading men, or a model whose pristine beauty came close to outshining the Parisian and Milanese styles she wore, or a pageant queen rising through the ranks before finally being crowned Miss Universe."

  • Born in the USA, by ladyevil (part 3): "'Thee haughty tyrants ne’er shall tame;' Harriet and Arthur sang as they marched the Fashion Club through the rain."

Monday, April 4, 2022

Do Rats Eat Carrots?


Roger the Rat hopes everyone's having a great World Rat Day, but asks that no one make him run any mazes or hang out with psychotic little boys, please. Okay, Roger, but just because it's your day!

Today is also International Carrot Day, and I have no doubt that the Fashion Club will be celebrating. I'm not sure they eat anything other than carrot sticks, honestly.

Fandom News!

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Read a Handmade Children's Book!


Daria's found an interesting way to celebrate International Children's Book Day, but I think she should have stuck with Black Beauty to keep in the spirit of the holiday. I guess as long as it gets kids reading, any book will do!

Today is also National Handmade Day, so if someone gives you a hand-carved necklace then try not to treat it like nuclear waste. Unless it's carved from actual nuclear waste, that is.

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "Art Burn" in 2001. Jane definitely created a lot of handmade things, and she had the cramped muscles and artist's block to prove it!

Fanfic Update!
  • The 25 Best Movies for a Bad Movie Night, by Erin M (parts 1 and 2): "While I spend a lot of my time writing for 'Way Too Late with Larry Purvis' to pay my bills (There, obligatory plug out of the way), I’ve found as I get older, that it’s important to take time out to recharge and let your brain just calm the hell down." (Part 2)

  • Donut Piece ( Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Cake me in makeup because I feel like a biological scallop that craves a boner in the eye!'"

Thursday, March 31, 2022

She Prefers Her Potatoes in Cheese Fry Form


I don't think National Tater Day is Daria's favorite holiday, but maybe if you threw in some sour cream and chives she'd like it a little better. Hopefully it's at least been cooked, although knowing Jake's cooking skills and short attention span, it's kind of a toss-up.

If you have potatoes or other produce, be sure to thank a farmer because today is National Farm Workers Day! No word on whether or not Trent ever became a farmer paid not to grow crops, but I'm sure Daria wishes he had refrained from growing that potato.

Finally, today is the anniversary of both "Malled" in 1997 and "The F Word" in 2000. The only potatoes eaten were the fries at the mall food court, and the students utterly failed to succeed at doing any farming.

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Janet, Warrior Science Teacher


Either Ms. Barch is celebrating Lucy Lawless's birthday or she's finally got a clear shot at Mr. DeMartino. Then again, why can't it be both?

Today is also National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day, so head over to Earl and Barbara's for some homemade potato chips! Just don't fight the dip. The dip will always win. Resistance is useless!

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "The New Kid" in 1998. It was the first (and almost only) appearance of Ted DeWitt-Clinton, a shamefully underused character. Good thing we have fanfic to make up for the loss!

Fanfic Update!
  • Party at 111 Howard (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Andrea entered Jane's room after some hesitation. She saw that there were many art supplies. 'But is there a large tub of paint?'"

Sunday, March 27, 2022

And the Loser Is....


Daria's getting ready to thank her agent for helping her win one of the Academy Awards being given out tonight, but she'll be disappointed to learn that the Academy doesn't give out awards for dazzling academic achievement in the face of near-total misanthropy. Maybe next year, Daria!

Today is also Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, so while Daria's in front of the microphone she might favor us with a rendition of "Well, Bust My Legs and Call Me Shorty." Go ahead, Daria! Win that CMA!

Fandom News!

Friday, March 25, 2022

She's Still Standing!


Helen's all decked out for Elton John's 75th birthday, but I doubt that Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter, Schrecter, or Schrecter will be impressed by her ensemble. Still, you can't deny that she looks confident!

Today is also Waffle Day, but be sure to check the sell-by date before you eat any. You don't want to deal with poisoned waffles or a very mild stomachache!

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 26): "'Sylvie, I love you like a sister, but if you don't stop hugging me to your boobs every five minutes, I'm going to resort to drastic action.'"

  • Daria: Spring Is Icumin In, by Meester_Lee (parts 5 and 6): "In the midst of life we are in death. Rikka had heard that phrase back in Vegas and had wondered where that came from." (Part 6)

  • Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (part 8): "Daria met up once again at Pizza Empire for a few slices while Jane vented to her about the night before."

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Watch Out for Puppy Kickers!


Shhh! The puppies are napping and you don't want to disturb them, especially on National Puppy Day. They're so cute when they're sleeping! And any other time, too. They're puppies, after all.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Monster," which aired on this day in 1998. Always remember that Quinn's pores are:

1. cute
2. tiny
3. invisible

The life you save may be your own!

Fandom News!

Monday, March 21, 2022

Iiiiii Goooooot Nooooo Striiiiings


Sorry, Jane, but even though today is World Puppetry Day, even being turned into a puppet will not make Tiffany funny. If anything, she has become slightly dumber. Only slightly.

Today is also Credit Card Reduction Day, a holiday that the Fashion Club will presumably ignore entirely in favor of that big sale at Cashman's.

Fanfic Update!
  • Born in the USA, by ladyevil (part 2): "At Jim's Paintballing Jungle, Jim, dressed in fatigues, addressed the gathered students and adults on the specifics of the paintball course."

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Sandi Can Eat Her Dust!


Stacy is having an awesome International Sports Car Racing Day, and the best part is that Sandi isn't there to ruin it for her. Yay, Stacy!

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "The Story of D," which aired on this day in 2001. Poor Daria suffered the first agonizing trial of rejection, but as an aspiring writer I'm sure it wasn't the last. Yay, Daria?

Thursday, March 17, 2022

No Short Jokes, Please!


I see the Holiday Island leprechaun is excited for Saint Patrick's Day, so I guess he's made his peace with the congenital green beer thing. If you celebrate today, please do so responsibly!

Today is also Absolutely Incredible Kid Day, so let's take the opportunity to remind Daria that "we tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just...don't...get it! What's wrong with you?!"

Finally, it was on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000 that the episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" first aired. If you combine all three (rowdy frat boys, parties, and murder) you get a pretty rockin' St. Patrick's Day!

Fanfic Update!
  • Born in the USA, by ladyevil (part 1): "On the road, two Lawndale High school buses were traveling to Jim’s Paintball Jungle. On the first bus was Mr. O'Neill, Mr. DeMartino, Daria, Jane, Alfred, Jodie, Mack, Kevin, and Brittany."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "May started with a holiday. Hagrid and some of the older students spent the last several days of April gathering and stacking wood for a bonfire in one of the School’s green spaces and erected a May Pole in another." (Part 62) (Part 63)

  • Fire in my head!, by 21stcentrenaissancelady (COMPLETE!): "Daria couldn’t get Tom’s gaze out of her mind. She remembered the exact moment."

  • Lawndale Homecoming, by breitasparrow (part 7): "'You don’t have to do this,' Tom said as he watched Samantha pack up the last of her things. 'We’ve been doing well all this time.'"

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Buzz Off!


Jane has the right idea for Buzzards Day, but comparing them to Claude and Romonica seems unfair to buzzards. At least buzzards don't make their prey feel insecure before they move in for the kill.

Today is also the Ides of March, so beware! The Ides might be planning to do something mean again.

Fandom News!

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Warm Ears, Tired Brain


Quinn's sure enjoying Earmuff Day, but she won't be so happy when her friends find out those earmuffs cost them their provisions. Also, mid-March seems like an odd time to celebrate earmuffs. Wouldn't one of the colder months make more sense?

Today also begins the ridiculousness that we know as Daylight saving time, so I hope you all remembered to set your clocks forward an hour if needed. It's not like I was going to use that hour for anything useful like sleep, anyway, I guess. Grumble.

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 25): "Daria was surprised to find Jennifer at their meeting spot on the way to school, banging her head against the stop sign hard enough to make it wobble."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 60): "By the last week in April, Daria had learned an important lesson about Scottish weather: whatever the calendar date, Winter did not yield as easily as it did back in Texas."

  • Daria: Sisterly Forgiveness, by UnbiasedStorytellerno1 (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Daria!' 'Hey Jane..' Jane ran down the street to where Daria was slowly treading to school."

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Alarms started blaring as the Stargate began to activate. 'Unscheduled Offworld Activation!' Harriman called."

Friday, March 11, 2022

Does an Apple a Day Keep the Mortician Away?


It's Johnny Appleseed Day (again), the holiday so nice they celebrate it twice! Still, Kevin is more than happy to plant some apple trees, especially as they'll be easier to grow than a memorial crutch.

Today is also National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day, and if Daria followed her recommended career path then I hope she has a good one. Just...hopefully not by drumming up extra business.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Brain Sold Separately


Quinn is celebrating the only person more artificial than herself on Barbie Day, which is the anniversary of the toy's premiere in 1959. Which makes the doll 63 years old. No wonder she's had so much plastic surgery!

Today is also National False Teeth Day, but I don't recommend you make yours out of stainless steel. Unless you really like Cyndi Lauper songs.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that the episode "I Don't" first aired. The marriage may not have lasted (I feel like Erin and Brian's making up at the end of "Aunt Nauseam" probably wasn't permanent), but the memories of Daria's ugly dress will last forever.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 59): "Daria had been back at Hogwarts for over a week when her real birthday came around."

  • It's a Massively Overprivileged Life (The 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Tom ran up to his room. He was free!"

  • Party at 111 Howard (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "In fact, Quinn wasn't far away. 'Oh!' she said when she realised when she saw the house up the street."

Monday, March 7, 2022

That's Not How the Food Pyramid Works


Jake's enjoying National Cereal Day, but I'm hoping he sets aside the super-challenging brain teasers and actually eats some breakfast. Quinn will probably have a bowl of Model Crunch, which I assume is without any calories or nutritional value whatsoever.

Today is also Plant Power Day, so power to the plants! Especially the ones that inexplicably sprout from wooden crutches.

Fandom News!

Saturday, March 5, 2022

"Isn't one of you enough?"


Looks like Quinn is celebrating Multiple Personality Day with her absolute favorite person in the entire world. If you have a Eunice within, let her out for a little while today! Especially if she keeps crying.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. I have mixed feelings about the way body image issues are handled in this one, but I can't help but laugh whenever I hear Quinn shout "Did Cleopatra rest when she was inventing mascara? Did Neferiti rest when she was posing for statues? Did Helen of Troy rest when she was doing whatever it was she did? Beauty never rests! Now, swim, you cow, swim!" Classic.

Fanfic Update!
  • ATTENTION WHORE MAGIC, by SPEEDCOREIDOLATER (parts 1 and 2): "'3...2...1...' Daria Morgendorffer knew her sister incredibly well - though to be fair, reading Quinn wasn’t exactly a daunting task." (Part 2)

  • Café of Contention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Class, I thought today we'd take a break from the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet to discuss the real-life tragedy that happened last night here in Lawndale. Let's share our feelings of violation following the loss of our beloved cybercafé, alt.lawndale.com. Who would like to start?'"

  • Daria: Spin The Bottle, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "After walking by Axl’s piercing and tattoo parlor, Daria decided that while she was done shopping for the day, she’d have to talk to Mom and Dad about getting her ears pierced."

  • Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (part 6): "The funeral was scheduled for ten o’clock that morning. Daria had called Jane the night before to give her the time and place."

  • They're Standing on My Neck, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The alley behind the Zon did not smell quite as bad as Daria had anticipated. Perhaps the cheap dead cigarettes covered the urine, or perhaps the beer had diluted the latter to the point that it was mostly water."

Thursday, March 3, 2022

Lonely Old Ladies Like Dead Commies, Too!


Mrs. Blaine is pleased to note that today is World Hearing Day and, while she herself may be deaf, she's just glad to have some company. Even if said company is reading her some uber-violent stories.

On that subject, today is the anniversary of the episode "The Old and the Beautiful" in 1999, which marked Mrs. Blaine's only appearance. It was also on this day that the episodes "Esteemsters" and "Antisocial Climbers" aired, in 1997 and 2000. Happy anniversary to Daria, the TV show!

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Tuesday, March 1, 2022

No, Not THAT Smile!


It's Share a Smile Day and Daria is sharing her best--or rather worst--smile with us. All I can say is that I'm glad we never had to see that smile in the regular series because...oof.

Today is also Plan a Solo Vacation Day, and the idea makes the introvert in me want to share a smile. I'm sure Amy is already planning this one, as well as all of the ways she'll make sure to rub Helen's nose in it.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria: Spin The Bottle, by Meester_Lee (parts 6 and 7): "Daria awoke feeling tired and irritable. It was one thing to have her hormones awaken: she liked that. It was something else to realize that she still had a lot of garbage from her past that she needed to sort out. That wasn’t so good." (Part 7)

  • Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (parts 4 and 5): "The next morning, Daria was awakened in her bed by Helen’s muffled shouting. She looked at her alarm clock. 9:30 am." (Part 5)

  • Made in America, by ladyevil (part 10): "Daria felt her breath quicken. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She felt her stomach churn violently. She hid behind one of the giant stuffed toys and started rubbing her left wrist, feeling only a little bad at ruining Jane’s paintjob."

Sunday, February 27, 2022

I Choooooose Yoooooouuuu!


Tiffany hopes everyone is having a great National Pokemon Day, and Tiffany as a Pokemon actually makes sense. They don't speak much, and their favorite word is their own name. I doubt Tiffany could even take on a Weedle in a fight, though.

Today is also National Strawberry Day, so perhaps the Lawndale residents will mark the occasion by visiting the Big Strawberry. It's not like there's anything more exciting going on in town.

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Friday, February 25, 2022

Bang!


Something tells me Daria's not really that into Pistol Patent Day, but that may just be because the specific pistol is pink. I wouldn't want to touch that with my bare hands, either.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Partner's Complaint," which aired on this day in 2000. No pistols were involved, and considering how many people lost their tempers it's probably a good thing.

Fanfic Update!
  • A Criminalé Summer, by LadySparrow (COMPLETE!): "Jane called Daria soon after getting off the phone with Tom, and gave her the update on the fire’s investigation."

  • Daria: Spin the Bottle, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 and 5): "Daria lay flat on her back and staring at the ceiling. Hellfire and damnation, she thought. I thought I left all that crap behind when I left Highland, and here it is coming back to smack me in the face." (Part 4)

  • Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Unscheduled off world activation!' Sgt. Harriman called out as the gate activated. 'Closing the Iris.' The Iris closed."

  • Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (parts 1 - 3): "Daria looked outside her apartment window in New York on a Tuesday afternoon, as she pulled the last cigarette out of its pack and lit it up." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Lawndale Splendor, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "NOTE FOR HIERONYMUS BOSCH: All right Jane, here we go. First new script in a while but...well, you'll see why."

  • Made in America, by ladyevil (part 9): "Alfred woke up at five in the morning to the ringing of his phone. 'Hello?' He grumbled, having answered with his eyes closed."

  • The Youngest Barksdale (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Daria arrived at Lawndale High twenty minutes before homeroom. It was larger than her old school, but then that was a rather small (and exclusive) school."

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Don't Try Blocking Paintballs with a Tennis Racket!


Daria's not impressed by Play Tennis Day, but she might have better luck if she stands facing the net. You know, the direction the ball comes in? She's putting in even less effort here than she does in volleyball.

Speaking of low effort Daria, today is the anniversary of the episode "The Daria Hunter" in 1998. While Daria didn't bother to try during the paintball game, she did show a surprising amount of stamina both in walking to see the Great White Shark and in not punching Jordana when she refused to shut up about the lousy tooth.

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Monday, February 21, 2022

Iiiitt's Iiiiiinnn theeee Caaaaards....


Tiffany has her tarot set ready for Card Reading Day, but I feel like this alter ego is unrealistic. Not only does it require Tiffany to read, but can you image how long it would take her to tell someone their fortune? The events she'd predict would already have happened by the time she got all the words out.

Today we also celebrate President's Day, or we would if the Holiday Island versions of the day weren't so obnoxious. No wonder the powers that be forced them to share the day.

Fanfic Update!
  • A Criminalé Summer, by LadySparrow (parts 1 and 2): "It was hotter than hell that late June afternoon as Daria walked to Casa Lane to hang out with her best friend." (Part 2)

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 43): "Daria sat at her desk in the Martian Mission to the UN staring out the window. It was a beautiful morning."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "Alpha sighed. She was certain there was more going on with Nina and Aialah than they had let on."

  • The Son That Never Was, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Timmy were in the kitchen. Both were talking to a tripod-mounted camera." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (The 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Jane was fuming as she made her way to her cabin. How dare that Alison suggest such a grotesque thing? She was getting a bit fed up with people lately."

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Cold, Refreshing Feminism!


Ms. Barch is celebrating the anniversary of the publication of the early feminist book The Feminine Mystique on this day in 1963 the only way she knows how: angrily. Of course, ever since the divorce, "angrily" is the only way she knows how to do anything.

Also on this day in 2001, the episode "Fizz Ed" first aired. Although the episode and its portrayal of shady business practices in schools is a little depressing (especially in hindsight), you can't help but be entertained by Ms. Li's absolute breakdown at the end. "Open up, you lousy damn machine! Give up the soda in your bowels!"

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Thursday, February 17, 2022

It's Not Over Until the Fashionista Sings


Quinn's making a dainty garland for her head so she can sing the lead role in "Madama Butterfly," which premiered on this day in 1904. Mr. DeMartino will be happy to know that the performance is not taking place in the automotive department.

If opera isn't your thing, you could instead enjoy the musical episode "Daria!," which aired on this day in 1999. There aren't any butterflies, but there is a hurricane...kind of.

Fanfic Update!
  • At the Mountain Mountains of Madness (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer, a graduate student in anthropology at Miskatonic University, heard a rapping at her chamber door."

  • Special Ted, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is in the kitchen frosting a chocolate cake. With her is an East Asian woman who looks like Tiffany with a Brittany-sized rack."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "Kevin was on his way to school when a red skinned man with horns appeared in a cloud of sulfur."

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Loneliness and Candy Made a Good Team!


Looks like Jane and Tom are making very sure that Daria doesn't forget today is Singles Awareness Day. Considering she gets her revenge, I'm not too worried.

In fact, thanks to a Huffington Post article published ten years ago, we know that Daria actually likes February 15th because of the half-priced candy. And I'm right there with her on that one!

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Sunday, February 13, 2022

Jesse Learned Some New Four-Letter Words!


While the hair is pretty similar, I really don't think Jesse makes a good match as Howard Stern. For one thing, Howard Stern actually, you know, talks. Still, who would you rather have for World Radio Day? Bing and the Spatula Man?

Speaking of weird names, today is also Get a Different Name Day and you'd better choose one quick before all the good ones are gone. How about Esmerelda? Better follow Jake's wise advice: "You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Fanfic Update!
  • Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'I haven’t a clue,' Peter said. 'There isn’t much data here,' the Doctor said."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 58): "Vernon Dursley sat in his chair and silently groused. As far as he was concerned, this workshop was a waste of time, the trainer was a twit, and the material he’d been required to read was complete and utter twaddle."

  • Made in America, by ladyevil (part 8): "'Take that, you son of a bitch!' Alfred shouting, firing his gun repeatedly. 'And that! And that! And here’s one for your old man!'"

  • A New Anniversary (Linn's creative thread), by linnofthewoods (COMPLETE!): "One Saturday morning, 15-year-old Rose Norstein warily made her way from her bedroom towards the last place she'd seen her father, Olek: the downstairs master bedroom he shared with her mother, Veronika."

Friday, February 11, 2022

Trent Will Celebrate If/When He Wakes Up


I see Jake is enjoying himself for National Guitar Day, and I really hope he plays better than he cooks. Come to think of it, a good death metal song might be a good way to deal with some of his anger issues. A better catharsis than ranting, anyway.

This is also Make a Friend Day, but notice that it says a friend. Don't go crazy or anything, okay?

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Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Mr. DeMartino's Pizza Days are Over


Well, Mr. DeMartino, look on the bright side for Toothache Day: You may not have any teeth, but at least you don't have to worry about toothaches! Okay, so that was a lame bright side.

Today is also National Pizza Day, and you can't call yourself a Daria fan and not like pizza!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 57): "Those boys, she thought, shaking her head. Saying that her birthday was the same day as theirs."

  • Unnamed story (Random Pairing Challenge 2021), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!'"

Monday, February 7, 2022

I Wonder Who Created This Holiday?


I think Quinn has missed the point of Send a Card to a Friend Day. She's supposed to send the cards to a friend, not just receive them. Then again, Quinn is her own best friend, so I guess it all works out. In a shallow sort of way.

Today is also National Fettuccine Alfredo Day, so have a pasta-riffic day and don't let it oxidize!

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