Monday, December 31, 2018

Start the Countdown!

Jesse's getting an early and over-the-top start on New Year's Eve. Whether you're going to go out on the town, stay home and count down until midnight, or go to bed early (raises hand), I hope you all have a very happy new year!

If you want something Daria-appropriate for celebrating, here's Daria's cameo appearance on the MTV New Year's Eve 2002. Timeless advice that's still useful today!

Fanfic Update!
  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "'Alright, so, one of the main themes we're supposed to focus on is the chaos of the universe'. 'The what?'"

  • Sexual Miseducation (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Rev. Li is giving a sex ed lecture. To call it misinformation would be an understatement." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 158 and 159): "If there was anything that freaked Kevin out about Tiffany, it was her intensity." (Part 159)

  • Well, I Never (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria was watching a documentary on the History Channel about UK soccer and the history of hooliganism. Before she knew it, Quinn had plopped herself on the couch, carrying a bag of low fat popcorn. She grabbed the remote control."

  • You Want It Darker, by LongSnakeMoan (part 5): "The crack in the blinds filtered the light through with the sound of angry traffic below, wrenching Jane from the depths of sleep, her rail thin coiled tightly around her comforter. Her first thought was relief, relief she'd made it through another night, in-tact and alive."

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Just...Go a Little Easy on the Jalapenos, Okay?

Either Jake is making the questionable decision to make another batch of Kitchen Sink Stew or he's observing Pepper Pot Day. No matter which one it is, I suspect the day will end with a blackened tongue for Jake.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Life is a Cabarchet

Barch is enjoying a turn as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. If classic movies aren't your thing, you could enjoy some nice children's programming in honor of Howdy Doody's debut on this day in 1947. See if Upchuck (a.k.a. the "Howdy-Doody-looking freak") wants to join in.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ashtrapped, by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "It'd be so easy to just disappear. Sweat streaming down her face, Daria focused on lifting one booted foot after the other."

  • Holiday Hell, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Logan International Airport was teeming with holiday travelers and Daria Morgendorffer was one of many. She'd never liked crowds as a child and she hated them even more as an adult." (Part 2)

  • Sexual Miseducation (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria and Quinn are in the kitchen catching up. 'So, Daria, what do you think?' Daria asked 'About?' Quinn said 'The overall situation.'"

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 28): "Why the hell did I come here of all places? Jane wondered as Sammy Squirrel played a guitar and led a throng of six year olds in a chorus of "If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands". Oh yeah, because Pizza King reminds me too much of her. Hell, this place reminds me of her!"

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

"X" Marks the Spot for Christmas!

It looks like someone still hasn't gotten that cottage made of gingerbread he wanted for Christmas, but at least he can ironically play some carols with his hiphop-punk-electronica band. That should cheer him up...or not.

If you celebrate Christmas, then please have a good one!

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

What's the Opposite of a Festivus Miracle?

It looks like we caught Mr. DeMartino right between the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances portions of Festivus. And I expect a lot of grievance airing, because we all know how little Mr. DeMartino can afford to replace a pair of pants. I only know one Festive Daria fanfic, and that's "Bettie and Jack at Festivus." If you know of any others, please let me know!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 17): "Daria had just finished brushing her teeth and was ready to go to bed. From the way he was breathing Daria could tell that Tom was already asleep."

  • Daria's R, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Just as I was about to take my boots off On the rooftop there I see A girl with round glasses here before me"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 15): "Erin was back into the office early. She wanted to show Mr Stojoski his faith in her was well placed. Waking in her own bed, in her own place, had been rejuvenating and given Erin a bright start to the day."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Erin stood outside the Morgendorffer house, unsure if she could still just walk right in or if she was expected to knock first now. The decision was taken out of her hands when the door opened and Jake appeared." (Part 7)

  • Evil Deed Blues, by Princess_Pasta (parts 5 and 6): "High Hills Park was busy for a Saturday afternoon, teeming with people who wanted to make the most out of such a sunny day. There were mothers pushing babies in strollers and joggers circling the perimeter of the fence. For once, Trent found himself among the rest of the parents who were chasing after giggling toddlers and helping their kids across the monkey bars." (Part 6)

  • Outlanders, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria just didn't get it. No one like being around someone who was mopey all the time, but you could sort of get away with it in Chorrol."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 157): "Mack took the elevator to lab to find Jodie. He admitted to himself that he wanted to gossip, but he partially wanted to gloat."

Friday, December 21, 2018

Got Enough Holidays Yet?

The residents of Lawndale are surprisingly enthusiastic about National Flashlight Day, but that might just be because it's the Winter Solstice and they need as much extra light as they can get.

It could also be that they're taking Look on the Bright Side Day waaaaay too literally, but I doubt Daria would agree with that sentiment. If anything, she'd be a wholehearted supporter of Humbug Day.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Fa La LA La La!

Daria's getting into the holiday spirit--very disturbingly, I should add--because on this day in 1995, the Beavis and Butt-head Christmas special "It's a Miserable Life" aired. The image on the right is from an alternate universe where Daria is happy, well-adjusted, and dating. She's become everything she ever hated! Destroy the heretic!

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, speaking of disasters, today is also the anniversary of the movie Titanic, which premiered on this day in 1997. Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill will probably re-create that iconic scene again, and if we're lucky they'll both get pushed into the water.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Artist and The Fashionista, by Jabe Shepherd (part 2): "'Quinn, sweetie get up it's time for school' Helen said to her youngest that she turned her rooms light on."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (parts 4 and 5): "Daria's prediction proved correct. Breakfast the following morning was eaten in uncomfortable silence if you ignored Quinn's prattle, which Daria generally did."Part 5

  • Ho Ho Humbug (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "The sleeping arrangements at Gina's house are the boys and the dog in Chris's old room while Jim and Quinn sleep in Jim's old room. Sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightgown Quinn looks at the room." (Part 3)

  • Not-So-Secret Santa, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked up from her huge bowl of udon noodles (served in a spicy shrimp curry broth with salmon medallions, slivered red onions and bell peppers and a single, fat prawn) when Danielle Todds walked into her quarters, and plopped down onto one of the overstuffed chairs without saying 'hello'."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 51): "'What are you doing man?' Trent's voice came in through the haze of fog filled sleep of Jesse's brain. To which Jesse rolled over and covered his head with the nearest pillow."

  • Outlanders, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria returned home to find her mother seated at the office, still poring over a stack of documents. Helen had spared no effort in ensuring that her base of operations befitted a legal advocate trained in the time-honored Imperial ways." (Part 3)

  • PIGS!!!, by ST91 (part 1): "'Where is he? Where is he? 'Jodie kept wondering as she walked briskly through the halls, looking for Dario. She had immediately realized how serious was what she had said in the locker room."

Monday, December 17, 2018

Airhead Takes to the Air!

Quinn is suited up and ready for take-off on Pan American Aviation Day. Someone should warn her that the mode of transportation might be a little less reliable than she expects, because the holiday commemorates the Wright brothers's first successful flight on this day in 1903. Can you believe they didn't even have in-flight magazines? No Waif, Quinn. No. Waif.

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 15, 2018

"Oh, Scarlet, you grow lovelier by the day!"

Daria's getting in touch with her inner Scarlet O'Hara in honor of the movie "Gone With the Wind," which premiered in Atlanta on this day in 1939. Or maybe after Quinn talked her into watching the movie, Daria decided to show off her secret but impressive cosplaying skills.

If they're looking for movie snacks, I could remind them that today is also National Cupcake Day. I only mention it because I'm still groaning at the "You're a great hostess, cupcake!" line from "The Invitation."

Fanfic Update!
  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (part 6): "As she walked towards the cafeteria Daria felt very strange. A part of her was still stunned by what happened, while the other had sharpened her senses to the maximum, like a prey that knows that the predator was close."

  • The Artist and The Fashionista, by Jabe Shepherd (part 1): "It was a cool August day, Daria was busy packing up for college, it was as always a neutral feeling summer vacation for her with it's ups and downs. Jane was with her helping her and engaging in their usual banter."

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (part 3): "Later that night, Jake was alone in the kitchen staring glumly at his crate full of hot dogs. He squinted at the packing slip and then at the hot dogs again, letting out a sigh."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Stacy usually slept in on Saturdays but she found herself waking from a fitful sleep, groggy and disoriented. Her half-lidded eyes found their way to her window and she stared out at the cloudless grey sky, too tired to move."

  • Ho Ho Humbug (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn and Stacy are eating pizza and catching up. They seem so like Daria and Jane back in high school that no one could fail to notice. Quinn asked 'So, what are you doing for Christmas?'"

  • Jay Lane, by ST91 (part 2): "Later that day, Jay and Brittany were standing in the cafeteria. 'Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet. 'The blonde girl said. 'What does not kill us makes us stronger'. Jay said."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (COMPLETE!): "Nuzzling up to the naked body lying beside her, Liz kissed the woman next to her and murmured, 'Morning, Beautiful.'"

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 22): "Mack collapsed on the old armchair in the living room. Rarely he felt so tired. A twinge of pain ran through his back."

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 27): "'I still think maybe we should've gone to pick her up.' said Jake. It Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving and the Morgendorfers were waiting for Daria to show up."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "Tinos Ondryn smiled wider than any Dunmer that Daria had ever seen. It almost looked natural on his gray face, soft and round for a Mer's. Only his red eyes gave it away, his gaze as fixed and forced as every other Hlaalu lackey's."

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 7 and 8): "'So what happened next?' asked Helen. 'How did you get custody of Myrcia?' 'A long story,' said Ben." (Part 8)

Thursday, December 13, 2018

"Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling?"

I have a sneaking suspicion that Ice Cream Day is not Mack's favorite holiday, and given his poor experience selling it I can't say I blame him. He'll be laughing all the way to the bank when he and Kevin make their first million on Bro and QB's Firstdown Fudge.

If ice cream isn't your thing (and why the hell not, I might ask?) then you could have a nice cup of hot chocolate for National Cocoa Day. Quinn's already mixing up a batch, no hurricane required!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

This Mountain is Soooo Shiny!

Tiffany's being unusually physically active today, but only because it's International Mountain Day. I'm sure once she gets to the top and checks her makeup she'll return to her typical languid stupor. I don't know if the rest of the Wilderness Adventure Club is coming up with her, but if they are you can bet Ms. Li has brought the video camera along.

Meanwhile, Helen's busy trying to decide whether or not to try suing UNICEF again, because today is the organization's birthday. It was created on this day in 1946, and I'm sure they've accumulated quite a few pennies since then.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 15): "Anton got on the radio. 'Hey, when you are all finished having fun over there I have incoming here. I have three Groundfighter robots headed for the reactor. I could use some backup.'"

  • Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "Helen was pacing the living room impatiently, feeling angrier by the second. She was furious with her mother for guilting her into working on Erin's divorce. She was furious with Rita for backing out of helping in favor of a whirlwind trip to New York with her boyfriend. Most of all, she was furious with herself for once again getting dragged into the same family drama that she'd been trying to avoid since she was a child." (Part 2)

  • Pimpin' Ain't Easy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Jim and Giselle are sitting in the living room discussing the situation. Giselle looks like a deer caught in the headlights."

  • Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick (part 14): "The armchair across the room was dragged over and Trent joined his sister at Daria's bedside. He smiled and draped her drab green jacket across her legs. 'You forgot this.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 156): "'I have to think that this place is very...creepy,' Andrea said. 'I mean, I liked the Arboreum, but the rest? You can have it.' She was being given the grand tour by Sandi Griffin, who was doing her best to hold her tongue. 'Well...that's an interesting perspective,' she said in return."

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Know Any Corrupt Clowns?

Ms. Li is absolutely horrified to learn that today is International Anti-Corruption Day, because she has no idea how to run Lawndale High School in anything like an honest way. Maybe she can take a class on the subject and pay the tuition by embezzling some extra school funds.

Today is also the anniversary of the late Emmett Kelly's birth in 1898, which would make good inspiration for the Art in the Park crying clown artist. Good news, though, for Mystik Spiral: although Kelly is dead and unable to clown, they can still be freaking friends.

Fandom News!

Friday, December 7, 2018

Brittany Ditzyhands

Brittany looks a bit distressed about celebrating the anniversary of the movie Edward Scissorhands, which premiered on this day in 1990. Then again, she might just be worried about how she's going to hold her pom poms. Hard to say with that one.

Fanfic Update!
  • Double (or Triple) Trouble (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane walked home from school. It was time for Jane to spring her surprise on Daria. 'So, Daria...I want to let you know that I have tickets to the new Front Bottoms concert. Wanna come along?'"

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 24): "'We're almost there,' Daria pointed out. 'Should be about six more hours before we reach Lawndale. I recognize this part of Ohio.'"

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (part 4): "Things became even more chilly a day before Halloween… when Sandi came by, the morning before the big costume ball. She had called the day before, to make certain the family (and the security detail) knew that she was on her way."

  • Pimpin' Ain't Easy (But It Sure Does Suck) (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Jim and Quinn are seated at the kitchen table while a beautiful young brunette sits across from them. She's hoping to be hired as their new assistant." (Part 2)

  • The Promposal (Are there any Brittany and Daria shipper fanfics?), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "As soon as she and Jane sat down at the lunch table, Daria took a suck off the paper straw stuck in her carton of chocolate milk. She very nearly spat it in Jane's face as Brittany and the entire Lawndale Lion football cheer squad popped up in front of their table."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 31): "'Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday Elizaveta...' 'Blow out the candles, kiddo!' Jake grinned as Helen brought in a chocolate layer cake with seventeen candles."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 21): "Anthony braked abruptly when he found himself facing a SUV's carcass. What the hell!? He thought."

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 26): "'Hands inside the window, Danny.' said Jesse as they drove to the airport. 'But look!' said Danny, letting his hand drift on the speeding air current. 'My hand can fly!' 'It'll go flying if a truck hits it!' Jane reminded him."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Well, they're going to nuke the porn from Tumblr.' Jane: 'RIP Tumblr.'"

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 3 - 6): "They didn't move into a house immediately. Neither Breeze nor Ben had scouted out the town beforehand to search for housing. They had planned to stay in a cheap hotel in town while they looked." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Warning: Do Not Accept Any Drinks From Upchuck

Upchuck is well-prepared for Repeal Day, which celebrates the end of Prohibition in the United States. Of course, that was 85 years ago, so maybe Upchuck is going just a little overboard. Besides, Quinn "Keg Queen" Morgendorffer might not like him muscling in on her territory.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 3, 2018

A Brain Under a Hot Tin Roof

Daria is celebrating National Roof over Your Head Day by making sure the library roof stays up over her head where it belongs. I'm sure everything's fine, though. It's not like Ms. Li would skimp on roof maintenance, and it's not like Lawndale employs contractors like Doug Thompson, right?

Hmmm. Daria? Run. Run now.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Blum-Decker Option, by Roentgen (part 4): "Kevin entered Tiffany's room - the room that he couldn't see from the bathroom, the one with the door opened. He had to admit he was stirred by the fact that he was in the room and she was hot, hotter than his now ex-girlfriend."

  • Consider The Corps (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Apparently, they have a great PR department." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 14): "Erin woke tired. The bed was narrow; the room was dark and small and neither room nor bed was hers. She experienced a few moments of disorientation before yesterday's memory returned."

  • Freefall (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Blood pooled on the damp grass, dark and slick. It was like the whole world had gone still. Not one rustling tree branch, not one chirping bird. Nothing. All Jamie could do was stand there and stare, the sight so startling that it was almost unreal."

  • A Not So Merry Beginning to the Christmas Season in Lawndale High... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I feel like Barbie took a sparkly shit on a rainbow that died three days ago.' 'No Daria, that is what you look like in that outfit.'"

  • Ultra Love (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Every twenty years Lawndale High has a Thompson as the star quarterback. In the late 1970's it began with Doug Thompson. In the late 90's it was his son, Kevin. Now, in 2018, it's Ultra Thompson." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "She remembered later just how ordinary the day had seemed until after dinner." (Part 2)

Saturday, December 1, 2018


Jake had better take it easy there. It may be the start of National Eggnog Month, but that quart will have to last him until the end of December. Plus, that's obviously milk and not eggnog. And finally, Daria can attest that out-of-season 'nog can lead to holiday-related hallucinations.

Fandom News!