Saturday, December 30, 2017

He's Grrrrrreat!

If you think Jesse is an odd choice to emulate professional golfer Tiger Woods on his 42nd birthday, then let me explain the flawless logic. Although Jesse doesn't seem like the active, sporty type, he does like Frosted Flakes, and the Frosted Flakes mascot is named...drumroll...Tony the Tiger!

See? It makes perfect sense.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 28, 2017

"Deal me in."

Mack is inviting everyone to join him in a game of poker for Card Playing Day, and the Future Morgendorffers are just about to start a game of Hearts as well. Perhaps the rest of us should follow their example! Unless you would rather not share a heartwarming family moment, in which case fair enough.

I, meanwhile, will be celebrating National Chocolate Candy Day, and don't ask me how that's different from any other day. It just is, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Ashley The Seal, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "Ever have that strange feeling where you're not sure if you're awake, dreaming or in a really good fantasy - and you don't even care? Welcome to where I am, right now." (Part 2)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (part 5): "Daria left a night full of punks to enter a house full of punks. You may think there are only two but the smell of puke was akin to an entire squat of crust punks on its own."

  • The Grace Kelly of Our Day... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The dress was fitted and tight in places that Daria tried not to think about too much, her hair had been styled and tied back into an elaborate bun, the borrowed jewelry from the Prince's collection felt strange on her fingers, wrist, neck, and the less said about all of the makeup on her face and neck the better."

  • My What Big Teeth You Have, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up in the forest, naked and covered in mud. This was not okay."

  • Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 12): "Jane lay face down on the ground as the sound of musket fire filled the air. Play dead she thought. That's what they're paying you for. Just lay on the ground and do nothing. Gotta say, this is the easiest buck I ever made!"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 79 and 80): "James Brown tunes were playing overhead on the tannoy - Daria didn't know that the Godfather of Soul played so much Christmas music. She had to admit that she was enjoying a little bit of Christmas spirit." (Part 80)

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Boxing Brittany

I think Brittany's got the wrong idea for Boxing Day, unless this is how she always goes shopping. I suppose the boxing gloves would be an advantage in beating other people (the Fashion Club, for example) to the best deals at Cashman's.

Today is also the start of Kwanzaa, which the Guptys apparently celebrate for some reason per "Pinch Sitter" and Kinesha's First Kwanzaa.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

'Twas the Night Before....

Christmas, I mean "X," is a little on edge because tomorrow is his big day and he's still got a lot of work to do to get ready. I don't know how he'll manage to juggle his Christmas responsibilities along with his hiphop-punk-electronica band, but if anyone can do it, he can.

Perhaps he should relax with one of those cottages made of gingerbread as well as some eggnog for National Eggnog Day. Just make sure the nog is in season, because the last thing we need is another wacky hallucination-based Daria episode.

Fanfic Update!
  • David M., by ST91 (part 6): "David was in agony. He was tired, sweaty, and every muscle in his body begged for mercy."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 24): "Daria awoke in fright on New Year's Day from a dream where a single day kept repeating itself over and over again. She put out her hand to touch her younger sister's shoulder to reassure herself that this was 1988, not 1987 all over again."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 37b): "Despite Rod's assurances, Dylan was worried when he saw the two Attorney-General's investigators still showing their faces around school that day, or at least as much of their faces as their dark glasses didn't hide."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "Jane to Daria I haven't heard from you in a few days but I know you're the model college student and you're probably sleeping in the library." (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (parts 3 and 4): "The memorial for Jake raged on at the Zon. The club was a trashed mess and covered with sweaty, half-drunk arseholes and the toilets had clogged up days ago, and as well as the normal day-to-day running it was hosting a memorial for Jake." (Part 4)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 7): "'Hello Street that hasn't changed one bit.' Jane says with fake esteem. 'Hello Shop that never gets any business but is still open.'"

  • If Elected, I Will (Not) Serve, by JoeMerl (part 2): "Daria was quickly relocated from her isolated Montana cabin to an isolated Montana motel. This seemed redundant, but apparently the Secret Service agents were able to secure it better, being stationed in rooms on either side of her."

  • A Silver Penny, by Shiva (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer stepped through the entrance of Cedars of Lawndale, her father having dropped her off and was currently looking for a parking space."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 77 and 78): "Charles Ruttheimer and Quinn Morgendorffer walked into the empty meeting room. Both still wore their Legion uniforms, because neither had bothered to change out of them when returning from outdoors." (Part 78)

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer sat uncomfortably in potions class. She wished that she'd kept her subjective age; she felt it undignified to have been de-aged four years and thrown in with eleven year-old."

Friday, December 22, 2017

But Will She Make a Dainty Garland for Her Head?

Quinn's warming up to sing her solo from Madama Butterfly in honor of Giacomo Puccini's birth on this day in 1858, and I hope it goes better than the last time she got onstage for a performance. Hide the turkey legs, everyone! Of course, since the performance (according to Mr. DeMartino) is taking place in the automotive department at Payday, she might need to be more concerned about tire irons.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Fa La LA La La!

I know, it's disturbing to see Daria happy, smiling, and singing with a significant other, but let's just consider it a Go Caroling Day miracle. I'm sure she'll be back to her grouchy, snarky self soon. In the meantime, perhaps we should find out if she does any requests. "Christmas at Ground Zero" is a personal favorite of mine!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 23): "Her dad put a Menorah in the window a day later. Since it was in the middle of Christmas season, Daria didn't think anyone along Whirlwind Drive would pay much attention to what her Dad put in the window or much care. But the girl across the street did."

  • Daria Rewind: 2017 (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane were in front of a Skype cam in Jane's bedroom chatting with Tori Jericho. 'So Daria and Jane I heard that 2017 was a crazy year for you,' Tori said to them from her studio in New York."

  • Defiant Round Robin Spinoff - Other Characters Appear in Lawndale!, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria and Jane had fallen asleep watching Science Fiction B-Movies. Then Daria vanished, only to be replaced by another young female..."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Daria to Jane My transition into adulthood started at 7:00 AM and ended after my mom broke down in tears in the middle of the Raft parking lot. I would've taken photos but I still have a shred of dignity (not much but some)." (Part 2)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "Across New England, as the news reached them all, every punk-owned business and record store raised a flag so they could lower it to half-mast." (Part 2)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 6): "God I hope she gets here soon! Daria thinks to herself shivering as she waited outside in front of her car at the train station. 'Finally.' Daria says in relief as she sees her sister approaching her with three luggage bags."

  • Leverage (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone!' Sang Daria to her six year-old son, who smiled with glee at his mother's performance."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 75 and 76): "'Oh the weather outside is fright-ful! But the fiii-iiire is so DEE-light-fullll!' Quinn practically danced, singing as entered the lobby of Legion Tower, barely carrying six shopping bags." (Part 76)

Monday, December 18, 2017

Jamie's Made a Pig of Himself

What better way to celebrate an oddly-specific holiday like National Roast Suckling Pig Day than with an oddly creepy alter ego like this? I think this is one of those pictures that, no matter how curious you might be, you really don't want to know the full story.

Today is also the anniversary of two 1998 essays by Michelle Klein-Häss, "A Question of Gratitude" and "Control Room UPDATE: A Direct Route Has Been Opened!!!." Nothing earth-shattering, but an interesting peek into what the fandom was like almost twenty years ago.

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

I Mean, I Like Chocolate Too, But Even I Have My Limits!

Mrs. Johanssen has clearly taken National Chocolate Covered Anything Day much too far and covered herself in chocolate. Not only is that going to be really hard to clean, but I'm not sure if she's able to breath. Still, maybe if she's coated in the stuff it'll keep her from eating it against her doctor's orders.

Today is also the anniversary of Jane Austen's birth in 1775, so I can pair two of my favorite things in one day! Of course, we know Daria's an Austen fan as well, based on her parody story during "Write Where It Hurts." I'd bet anything that snarky Elizabeth Bennet is her favorite character, too.

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany, who had been staring at her smartphone for the past few minutes, looked up. 'Should I go next?' 'Please do,' Quinn said with a sigh."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 1): "Stacy took a generous pull from her mug, savoring the lighter accents in the bitter flavor as the coffee warmed her body. Grabbing a latte from the drive through at Starbucks in the morning was fine, but a fresh roast at an independent shop was something else entirely."

  • Daria and Jane's Family and Family and Family and Family Thanksgiving, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Daria put down her knife from the task of dicing the onions to Jane's exacting specifications. 'Arg,' she addressed the classical music announcer on the radio. 'Just play some music; I don't care about your allegedly fond memories of your grandmother's spaetzle.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 22): "It was now mid-November. Quinn's seventh birthday was coming up soon, and Quinn was already deep into the planning process of how she wanted to celebrate it."

  • Daria the Rich Bitch (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane glanced at her best friend Daria as her head dipped down for a moment and heard a familiar snorting sound. 'I thought Pablo said his connection couldn't get the good stuff until tomorrow?'"

  • Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 13): "President Reagan walked into the Situation Room for the morning military briefing. So far, NATO was holding, just, though there were a few bright spots, along with a few bad ones as well."

  • Rage of Aquarius, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake, Helen, Quinn and Jim are having Sunday dinner at the table. The food is clams in spicey tomato sauce served over linguine with a huge plate of antipasta as a side dish." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "'Soo will you ...' started to say Andrea before Charles stopped her. 'Yes. Today. During lunch time. I'm thinking about where to take her this weekend.' 'Yeah! Way to go Charles!' said Jane." (Part 5)

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "The SUV sped down the highway, thankfully unimpeded by any traffic. Helen was, unusually, in the passenger's seat. Then again, nothing about this situation was usual."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 72 - 74): "Helen and Jake stepped into Quinn's room at Legion Tower. 'Oh my God!' Helen said. 'What? What?' Jake cried. 'This...this's horrible!' Helen said." (Part 73) (Part 74)

Thursday, December 14, 2017

The Next Cheerleading Practice is Going to Be Odd

Brittany knows that today is International Monkey Day, but she looks more like a gorilla than a monkey. Still, points for trying.

It's possible that she's just being assertive in getting Kevin to take her to Chez Pierre for National Bouillabaisse Day, but I don't think she'd fit through the doors in her current size. No, Brittany, that wasn't a crack about your weight or your boob size. Please put me down now.

If Chez Pierre is too expensive for Kevin at the moment, he could just take her to his old employer, It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World, for a Roast Chestnuts Day snack. Assuming the place is still in business after losing its only two employees in one day, that is.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Save the Internet!

I'm interrupting our usual Daria-related blog posts today for an important message.

In just two days, the Federal Communications Commission is going to vote on rolling back regulations that stop internet service providers from blocking or slowing sites in order to force customers to pay premium prices. Those regulations, known as "Net Neutrality," keep the internet open and allow everyone equal access to information online.

If you live in the United States and want to keep our internet fair and open, please call the FCC at 1-888-225-5322, your senators, and house representatives and ask them to support Net Neutrality.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

What About Library Rights?

This moment of "Awwww!" is brought to you by International Animal Rights Day, and those rights include the right to be adorable. Today is also Human Rights Day, so I guess that pretty much covers every living thing on Earth aside from the vegetation. Unless today is also Plant Rights Day and no one told me.

Just because I'm a librarian and can't resist the chance to geek out a little, today is also the anniversary of Melvil Dewey's birth in 1851. You know, the guy who invented the Dewey Decimal system? A really cool anniversary for fans of library classification systems? Shut up, it is too cool!

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "Quinn was using her phone to take multiple pictures of Acai flipping through one of Madison's copies of Junior Waif Magazine. "#futurefashionista!" she giggled, posting all of the pictures on Instagram."

  • Come Together, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The slim, dusky Frenchwoman, who wore the uniform of the National Gendarmerie (a branch of the French Armed Forces) and the rank of Chef d'Escadron (the equivalent of a Major or a Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Armed Forces), shook her head as she walked around to the back of her desk."

  • David M., by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "After spending some time at the PC writing his stories about Melody Powers, David decided to go to bed. As he undressed, his gaze fell on the reflection in the mirror and as always he saw the damn strapping he hated so much." (Part 5)

  • Evening, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Jake surveyed the remaining of his cooking work and the relatively empty kitchen and sighed. 'I'm alright,' he said to his wife. Helen let go of his arm. Jake wobbled a little, but remained standing. 'Maybe we should go to bed,' he said, looking at his wife."

  • Lust for Life, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'You're almost there. Here, let me give you a hand.' He knelt and extended a hand to her climbing form. They'd made it to the top of the makeshift structure in The Strawberry that those that had dared to brave it boasted a breathtaking view of Lawndale."

  • Night of the Short Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "'You did?' asked Daria. 'When?' 'During the war, while I was in the Cavalry,' West replied. Daria looked at him and thought silently. Assuming this is 1875, that would be the Civil War, she thought."

  • Now, They're Legal, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Colonel Armalin?' Armalin turned from the opened glass case next to a bookshelf (where he kept his Team Banzai jacket with Blue Blaze Irregular patch) as a thirty-something woman with long, chestnut-hued hair stood at the entrance to his office. "

  • Thanksgiving With The Barksdales (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake and Helen are seated at the kitchen table. Quinn is there as she frequently stops by to cook dinner (and make sure Jake eats healthy). Quinn: I told him that he needs to offer healthy choices on the menu, not just the usual greasy stuff, because of the anti-fried food firestorm caused by that movie. He seemed to see the light of reason." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace and Roentgen (parts 68 - 71): "So, two days after Revelation Day, we're are all eating in the Camp Tolnai dining facility. (Sergeant Major Nemec said - and Mags agreed - that it would look better if we Legionnaires ate with the military types.)" (Part 69) (Part 70) (Part 71)

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "She could barely think over the pain, the great burning coming from her abdomen where she had been shot. She could barely hear the rush of air escaping from the compartment over the sound of her ears ringing and the blare of the low pressure alarm."

Friday, December 8, 2017

Boxing Gloves and Ugly Sweaters Do NOT Mix!

Stacy's ready to box someone's ears for Take it in the Ear Day, and she seems extra eager, so I'd suggest that Sandi make herself scarce. Just to be clear, I am choosing to assume that the holiday refers to getting punched in the ear because the other possibility is

It's also possible that Stacy is preparing to go after some major fashion criminals because today is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, and I'm sure the Fashion Club is not impressed.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

"I Think That I Shall Never See...."

Happy birthday to the late poet and library namesake Alfred Joyce Kilmer, who was born on this day in 1886. I'm not entirely sure why the writers went with Kilmer for the library name, although it's possible it has something to do with the lone tree growing on the library property. Any ideas out there?

Today is also the anniversary of Altamont, the free concert that ended in deadly violence. According to Jake, he not only attended the concert but somehow got a refund. I wouldn't mind seeing a fanfic based on Jake's experience at the concert, but perhaps some stories are better left to our imagination.

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Quinn pulled into the driveway and parked. She checked the social media apps on her phone one more time, then eyed the house in front of her warily and wondered if she could come up with a last-minute excuse to bail. God. I'm feeling pissed off and I haven't even laid eyes on Sandi yet. Next time we get together, I'm smuggling in booze."

  • Come Together, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "No one saw the small, saucer-shaped craft simply flow into existence, as if it was heated wax that poured from nowhere into an invisible mold set perfectly atop the plateau and became a perfect form in an instant." (Part 2)

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 37a): "The girl in the row in front turned round to look at them. 'Didn't you make the video about the Kris Brocklethwaite story?' she said. 'What', said Dylan. 'Are you talking to us? I don't like the sound of that.'"

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 15 and 16): "The fuss about HJ's scar now behind the Morgendorffer family and the remainder of the fall term at J. Frank Dobie Elementary School went by without incident. HJ and Daria applied themselves with connecting letters with sounds, symbols with numbers, and stringing letters together to form words and were soon reading and doing arithmetic at levels well beyond many of their school-mates." (Part 16)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 5): "'Hey Daria how's your day been?' Alex asked as she approached her friend in a bit of a huff. To Daria Alex looked exhausted but that was to be expected since she did have two tests plus an essay due that very same day."

  • Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "The shadows from the soft light of the skittered and shifted from the breeze through the window, beeps and the rumble of trucks a distant soundtrack. The precious picture lightly gripped in her left hand, Jane used the right to scratch the fuzz on her head, the bristles oddly reassuring."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 66 and 67): "Daria had prepared the way ahead of time for Tom's return to Camp Legion. He arrived in Puerto Rico and immediately went to work. She started him on the 'heavy lifting' duties and figured that for the first few days he could work alone under the direction of the SPC and the Corps of Engineers." (Part 67)

Monday, December 4, 2017

Don't Ask What She Put in the Cookies

Daria's baked some supposedly "heart-shaped" cookies for National Cookie Day, but I don't think I'm willing to eat anything given to me by someone smiling that creepily. Seriously, she just needs to not smile like that. Ever.

Speaking of not smiling, the Fashion Club will not be happy to learn that today is also Wear Brown Shoes Day, because no one tells them what shoes to wear. What if brown doesn't go with their outfit? What if the brown shoes have too much heel or not enough? What if they're (gasp) comfortable?!

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Vive la France! Or At Least the Female Half.

Barch looks less than thrilled that today is the anniversary of Napoleon's coronation as emperor of France in 1804. It could be that she shares a common historical interpretation of the man as a tyrant and a despot, but I think the key word in this is "man." 'Nuff said.

Fanfic Update!
  • Fashionable Reunion (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Stacy and Sandi have just discovered that the check out girl is Tiffany. They're all visibly shocked. Quinn: Tiffany!?! What are you doing here? Tiffany: IIIII...wooorrrkkk...heeeerrrrrree."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "Six year-old HJ Morgendorffer walked through the doors of J. Frank Dobie Elementary School with his cousin Daria in Ruskin, Texas. School had started, and Aunt Helen and Uncle Jake were counting on him to do well."

  • My Night At Quinn's (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a six year old Quinn walking in her pajamas from her room to the master bedroom. Quinn: (Thought VO) I can't sleep. Maybe Mom and Dad can help. She opens the door to the master bedroom and gasps." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "'I don't think it will convince you, but my phone does have a camera function,' said Daria. 'Let me take your picture.' She picked up her device and held it to her face. She then pressed a button on her device."

  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "Charles's mood did not improve the next morning. His mother, seeing him so sad, asked him what the problem was but the redhead boy just said, 'nothing important mom.' Only my dreams being shattered." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 65): "'Listen. I'm not desperate. And the Legion is not desperate. But I think that in the long run, he'll be helped more by being with the Legion that he will by being on his own.'"