Quinn With a Gun Is Hair-Raising!

I see that the Fashion Club is already celebrating National Braiders Day, and if Quinn's expression is any indication then you'd better join them before she pulls that trigger. If you need any help you can ask Tad and Tricia Gupty, who perfected their technique on Daria when she was their baby-sitter.

I don't recommend that you try to braid the fur on any feline pets, even if it is International Cat Day. First of all, the braids will make it harder for them to groom themselves. Secondly, trying to braid an unwilling cat will almost undoubtedly lead to grave physical harm to the braider.

On this day 27 years ago, Martin J. Pollard posted the essay "Shipping Out" in response to Daria/Trent (and Jane/Jesse) shipper stories. As the essay was written prior to The Kiss, it's fun to take a peek into the biggest shipper controversy...at the time.

As a fun little tidbit, this marks the DFB2's 4700th post. Do I get a special award?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Daria and Jane definitely have the right idea for Public Sleeping Day, but they have a long way to go to catch up with Trent. If sleeping (in public or otherwise) were an Olympic sport...Trent would lose because he'd oversleep and miss the event entirely.

I hope that Quinn doesn't get it into her head to celebrate National Essay Day, because I don't think Daria (or the rest of us) could handle another "brainy" phase from her. "Academic Imprisonment" was never going to win any Pulitzer awards, anyway.

Someone should tell Ms. Barch that it's National Science Day and she should take a break from ranting about her ex-husband to do some teaching. Unfortunately the science lesson will probably be about how her ex-husband is scientifically inferior to all other organisms on the planet.

Fanfic Update!

• Is It Queer Yet?, by cas_hat_o3 (parts 1 and 2): "After the nightmare that was explaining to her mom that couldn't do an impromptu driving session because she was not, in fact, wearing her contacts, her eyes had hurt too much to do so, and she'd chosen to go to school without them or her glasses for." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 20 The Imitation Tempest, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Dafoanairi saw Tania running up. 'What’s wrong?' she asked as she held her staff in a ready manner."

Theeeeese Staaaaars are Shiiiiiny....

Tiffany is about to be deeply disappointed to learn that Nicolaus Copernicus, born on this day in 1473, was right and the universe does not revolve around her. I'm just kidding, of course. The day Tiffany successfully learns anything will be a very cold day in Hell.

However, Smart Tiffany does occasionally exist in fanfic, and Kara Wild published an essay on this day in 2000 on this very topic: "The Off-Canon Approach." What does it mean for a story to be just like a Daria episode versus veering off into non-canon territory? Read the essay and consider the ideas.

Finally, the episode "Fizz Ed" first aired on this day in 2001, and the subject matter has only gotten more relevant with time. Just so we're clear, I'm referring to corporate marketing in schools, not principals attacking soda machines with axes.

Fandom News!

• There's still time to vote for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Lord Goring created a thread where you post words.


• cfardell_Brenorenz29 posted a new Iron Chef: Remembering Jane.

Kevin's Due in Kangaroo Court

Brittany is either making sure everyone is aware of kangaroos for National Kangaroo Awareness Day or else Kevin ticked her off again and she's about to go a few rounds in the ring with him. I would bet on Brittany to win even without the animal strength and massive hind legs.

After the boxing match they should sit down and share a meal for National Food Day, although for most people National Food Day is every day. Enjoy the edible item of your choice, and bonus points if it's pizza to honor our favorite duo!

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that Wraith posted an essay on the episode "See Jane Run." He makes some interesting points, and it's always fun to see reviews of the show written while the show was still airing!

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Freya Andersson was excited. She was starting University at Academia d’Aeterna Universitas d’Aurora, the oldest university in the world. Of course, that wasn’t the reason she was studying there."

Get! Burger!

Amelia is so happy to be celebrating Locate An Old Friend Day, but Daria definitely doesn't feel that the feeling is mutual. I suspect she'll be celebrating Hide From an Old Friend Day before the end of the day.

Let's hope Skip has fired up the grill for National Cheeseburger Day, although I think we can all live without his highly-detailed system. I recommend eating the burger, but you can always follow Daria's lead by putting it into your boots to enjoy the squishy feeling.

Finally, on this day in 1999 Kara Wild published the essay "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" It's an interesting take on Daria's favorite aunt that was written mid-series, so enjoy a glimpse into what fandom speculation was like before the end of the show.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 41): "The mighty black wolves howled to a gray sky as the lady of green eyes rode so fast through Sallakovia, all the dangers of the forest and the mountains shook in fear of her presence alone, she would arrive back home soon enough and the portraits and letter were indeed safe and sound deep in a pocket of her cloak."

Boxing Brittany

Brittany is making sure everyone knows that today is National Kangaroo Awareness Day, and it's kind of hard not to be aware of a giant kangaroo with blond ponytails. Of course, if that doesn't do the trick, I'm sure Brittany's killer right hook would get anyone's attention.

I hope she'll stop and have a snack, though, because it's also Food Day and I don't want to see what her temper is like when she's hangry. I'm sure no one does, least of all Kevin. Quick! Someone go get a cheeseless bell pepper pizza!

Finally, on this day in 2000, Wraith posted an essay on the episode "See Jane Run." It's not very long, but it's a great snapshot of what fan reactions to the show were like while the show was still airing.

Now Imagine Ruth and Mrs. Barksdale TOGETHER!

I'm going to guess that Mother-In-Law Day isn't one of Helen's favorite holidays, for obvious reasons. Of course, she doesn't have too much room to complain given that Jake's mother-in-law isn't so great, either.

Also on this day in 2000, Wraith posted an essay about "See Jane Run." Check it out if you haven't read it yet!

Fanfic Update!

• Danny Morgendorffer, by st91 (parts 71 and 72): "'Come in.' Ms. Li said when she heard a knock on her office door. 'Oh, good morning Mr. Morgendorffer!' she said smiling when she saw her student." (Part 72)


• Daria: Cuckoo's Egg, by meesterlee (part 5): "She’d tried. If she hadn’t been able to contact Jackie Handley, she’d managed to her mother. Maybe Jackie would call back, or maybe she wouldn’t. There wasn’t anything to do except wait. At least as far as Quinn was concerned."


• Triplets Of Terror, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "After they came back from trick-or-treating, the Carbone triplets sat around the kitchen table to take stock of the candy they've received. They'd gone from that to telling scary stories."

Joey and Jeffy Have Taken the Rivalry Too Far!

I'm really not sure which is stranger: that National Roast Suckling Pig Day exists as a holiday, or that someone working on the Daria alter egos decided that Jamie needed to be a roast suckling pig. I mean, the combination was too good for me to resist, but it really does raise some questions.

Today is also the anniversary of two essays by Michelle Klein-Häss: Control Room Update: The Battle Has Been Joined! and Daria Fandom: A Question of Gratitude, both posted on this day in 1998. Enjoy a taste of old-school fandom!

Fandom News!

• Keep up with the latest news on the Dariawiki Bureaucrat Election.


• Charles RB posted a new Iron Chef: It's A Wonderful Daria.


• Discuss the quality of Daria seasons three and four.


• A Daria movie is coming out next year...but it's not what you think.


• wouter has a question for fanfic writers.

My Name Is HAMMY!

I know Jamie and his friends would do anything for Quinn, but even on National Roast Suckling Pig Day I think this is a bit much. I will say that including the earring was a nice touch, though.

Today is also the anniversary of two essays by Michelle Klein-Häss, "Control Room Update" and "Daria Fandom: A Question of Gratitude," both published on this day in 1998. They give an interesting peek into fandom life from over twenty years ago, as well as what it was like to follow the show as it was airing.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Daria borrowed a cell phone from one of the spectators and called her mother's law office in Lawndale. Marianne, her mother's assistant, picked up on the third ring."


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 26): "Daniel barely had time to relax. As soon he and the fashion club got out of the car, those three idiots of the other day rushed toward them. So he had to engage Mad Dog mode very quickly."


• Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 3): "Sandi was naked, save for the leather leash and handcuffs the dwarfs dressed like Cupid forced her into."


• The Detectives and the Victim (Scenes, Brainstorms, and Drabbles Thread), by shiva (COMPLETE!): "Detective Ramirez stepped out of the patrol car, the scene had already been tapped off and despite it being on the road near the woods on the edge of Lawndale late a night a small crowd had already gathered."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 178): "'No - fucking - WAY!!' Donna's mouth made a capital 'O' shape as she sat with Elsie Sloane on a stone bench outside the Georgia-Black Building."


• Hobbitdale (Iron Chef - Tall Daria), by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "The blue Lexus approached the High School. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realise it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?' Jake Morgendorffer said."


• My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 4): "Clarissa came off the elevator to hear a guitar playing slow and deliberate notes as Ariel tried to match them with her voice. Was that Jesse?"


• Unnamed story (IC: Melody Powers's Biggest Fan), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Sometimes he liked to blame everything on Tim Burton and Peter Chung. 'Hey, if Catwoman and Aeon Flux hadn't happened when I was entering puberty...!'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Melody Powers's Biggest Fan), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "It's not that he hated reading. Sure, he'd never torn through books the way some of his classmates did, pages blurring between their fingers as they raced from cover to cover. And sure, he'd never read all that much. No stacks of completed Beverly Cleary and Gary Paulsen novels or Best Reader ribbons."

Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Kevin Thompson's Got to Go!

The Lawndale High faculty doesn't seem impressed by World Teachers' Day, but they'd probably be a lot more enthusiastic if they could earn a decent wage for once. Or if they didn't have to deal with Kevin. Either one would be reward enough.

Also on this day in 1998, Michelle Klein-Häss published her essay, "Morons in the Control Room." It was a call to action against the technical glitches in the Daria broadcasts in 1998. Check it out for a glimpse of fandom in the early days!

Fandom News!

• Can you help clear up some generational confusion?


• Talk about horror movies with Dark Kuno.


• Read and discuss essays about Daria and "The System" and Lucky Strike.


• ozferret wonders when the Morgandorffers became Jewish.

Jamie's Made a Pig of Himself

What better way to celebrate an oddly-specific holiday like National Roast Suckling Pig Day than with an oddly creepy alter ego like this? I think this is one of those pictures that, no matter how curious you might be, you really don't want to know the full story.

Today is also the anniversary of two 1998 essays by Michelle Klein-Häss, "A Question of Gratitude" and "Control Room UPDATE: A Direct Route Has Been Opened!!!." Nothing earth-shattering, but an interesting peek into what the fandom was like almost twenty years ago.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the Russian minister jailed for 8 years for a bribe and related topics.


• Princess_Pasta shares some Daria art she bought.


• Add to the ""Superheroes are only human too" thread.


• What did you think of The Last Jedi?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between The Punisher and Wild Dog.


• Astrocar82 wonders if there is any way to easily read old fanfictions posted on PPMB, and Roentgen offers a Rosetta Stone to read older PPMB posts.

Et Tu, Police?

I'm sure Upchuck would like to remind everyone that today is International Day Against Police Brutality, but I think too many female residents of Lawndale have been at the receiving end of his...ahem...charm to care. Jane, on the other hand, will be on hand with a camera to record police brutality against Mystik Spiral. If it ever actually occurs, anyway.

Today is also the Ides of March, which Roman emperors should beware and high school language arts teachers should avoid asking Kevin about.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that Michelle Klein-Hass posted her essay From Now On, Please Keep It Real! Whether you agree with the point or not, it's an interesting perspective of the show from back when it was still originally airing.

Fandom News!

• Szcz is looking for sites related to the history of U. S. fashion.


• Read and discuss the article about the Christian retreat from public life.


• What are your thoughts on the upcoming Ghost In The Shell live action movie?


• Wouter is asking for some help.

Here's Looking at You, Kiddo

Trent and Daria are recreating a famous scene from Casablanca because today is the anniversary of actress Ingrid Bergman's birth in 1915. The only Casablanca reference I can think of from the show is when Brittany confused the movie title for the word "casanova." Anyone else know of one I'm forgetting?

Also in this day sixteen years ago, Admonisher published the essay A Rant About "Evil" Tom. In spite of the amount of time that's passed, the points are still relevant to fandom and to fanfic writing.

Fanfic Update!

• Camped Out, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "Back at the camp, Trent was starting to wonder when they were going to have sack races or toast marshmallows. So far everyone was just standing around and talking, and no one was doing the summer camp stuff he'd been expecting."


• Clarity, by Zetor (part 8): "I blink and yawn as I check the clock on the bedside table. It reads eleven thirty. I start to panic about being late for school, then I remember I don't go to school any more."


• Close (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn Roommates), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Daria lay back on her bed reading as she took advantage of the opportunity to listen to her music from her stereo rather than on her headphones. She and Quinn had made an agreement to always use headphones when they were both in the room after their competing stereos had given their father a panic attack."


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 28): "'Jane? Jane!' 'Huh? Oh, sorry, that guy keeps looking at me,' Jane defended as the Spiral played their closing number for the first set – Mr Normal."


• Me And My Monkey, by Dennis (part 3): "I spent a sleepless night on the couch with bad TV droning in the background. Dave was out, so all I had for company was my whirling thoughts and Monkey, who enjoyed the attention."


• Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "'This is torture!' Quinn lamented as she dramatically threw herself across her bed, sending several stuffed animals flying to the floor. The last thing she wanted was to be cooped up in her room, locked away from the outside world, with only her textbooks for company."


• Unnamed story (IC Runaway Daria), by Waylander (part 6): "Daria sat with the spiral notebook braced against her knees. Slowly, she read through her adaptation of Treasure Island. She wasn't satisfied with the scene of Jim Hawkins hijacking of Hispaniola."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn Roommates), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jake Morgendorffer finished turning in the last screw and got down from the step ladder onto the deep carpet in his daughters' bedroom. He closed and opened the opaque grey room divider a couple times admiring his handiwork as it slid smoothly and nearly soundlessly along the ceiling track."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn Roommates), by nightbeast37 (COMPLETE!): "Daria trudged inside the bedroom she shared with Quinn (against her will). She had just finished yet another day at hell on Earth (aka school) and needed some time to herself before her little redhead sister burst her bubble."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Admiral Kirk stood defiantly in front of the rogue Klingon commander Kruge whom held him at gunpoint on the dying world of Genesis. Kruge had just ordered his men to be beamed to the Bird of Prey in orbit save for Spock."

Have Some Kitchen Sink Stew!

Jake's cooking heart-healthy today for More Herbs, Less Salt Day, but someone should probably tell him it wouldn't be a bad idea to lay off the chili peppers, too. For the sake of his tongue, if not his sanity.

On this day in 2000, Admonisher published the essay "A Rant About 'Evil' Tom." It touched on a number of other issues, too, but Tom seems to be the main focus of the ranty goodness.

Fandom News!

• What do you consider to be your soul car?


• Discuss the recent on-air news crew murder.


• What do you think about the high school tribes described in the article?


• Why are so many book cover designs so similar?


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: nightmaster000's Lawndale's newest resident and Lord Yellowtail's The Real Don Jake.

A Very Fizzy Episode

It was eleven years ago today that the episode "Fizz Ed" first aired on MTV. Not only did Daria actually make an effort to accomplish something in this one, but we also got to witness Ms. Li's total mental breakdown firsthand. How that woman kept her job is something I'll never know.

It was also on this day in 2000 that Kara Wild posted her essay, "The Off-Canon Approach." It was not just an interesting perspective on fanfic, but also a neat glimpse into the state of fandom at the time. The contrast between then and now--when many fanfics have arguably gone much further from canon than ever before--is an intriguing one.

Fanfic Update!

• The Adventures of Lobo (Scenes That Could Be - The Non-Daria Edition), by Doggieboy (part 1): "'Ship ahoy, captain!' the gorilla yelled out from the crow’s nest. 'Off the port bow!' Captain Tiberius, a large, heavily built gorilla, lifted his telescope and sighted where the watch had told him. 'Steer 330,' he told the helmsman. 'Let’s see who we have out here.'"


• After the Disaster :: Chapter Four, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Maybe Brooke didn't have an impact on her and Sandi after all, maybe these were the kind of girls who judged on what was on the inside and not the outside - and waited until they themselves got to know somebody before they passed judgment. Concentrating hard on her words, Tiffany prepared herself to answer Stacy, 'Tiffany...'" (Interlude)


• Alice Shadow and the Curse of the Spider Queen (Non-Daria), by peapotmaster (part 1): "My name is Alice Shadow, and I’m a female detective. Well, an intern for my father at the police station. I’m fifteen years old, and live with my dad, Detective William Shadow, and my Aunt Violet."


• Artifact in Lawndale (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "In the main Warehouse office Claudia Donovan was using Agent Artie Nelson's computer to design one of her inventions. Then an alert popped up. 'Artie!' she called out. 'What are you doing there!' Artie called out as he entered the office and noticed Claudia at the computer. 'None of your business, but there is an artefact alert in a town to the north of Baltimore,' Claudia said as she stood up."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 27): "'What the hell is going on?' Asked Tilly. Jane didn’t answer, still trying to pull away. Tilly reached up with her other arm, grabbed Jane’s bag, and pulled back and down, taking the taller girl off balance. At this time, Tilly shifted her grip, spun Jane around, and pinned her against a nearby locker, putting her arm across Jane’s chest to hold her. 'Now.. We are going to have a talk, and you’re going to participate.'"


• DW: The Many Doctors (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'So, where are we?' Felicia asked, looking at the Scanner screen as the Doctor activated it. 'The Terran colony of Ilkona, in the year 2710. It is a rather peaceful year,' the Doctor said. 'If we are here, I doubt that will remain true for much longer,' Tamsin said, cheekily."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 1): "As the car pulled up, Dylan turned his attention back from his mother’s scatter-brained analysis to his brother’s announced plans to continue watching Dylan’s back and, with those thoughts filling his mind, he propelled himself headlong from the car the exact instant it came to a stop in order to get ahead of the effect of Kris’s inevitably stagier entrance."


• Fallout Lawndale: 2289, by Vukodlak (part 5): "Slumping down in the booth they let out a collective sigh. 'So what did we learned?' Daria muttered. 'That Jack’s set up some kind of military base in the old police station' Jane noted. 'And his friends have very advanced toys.' Tom added. "


• Find Another Way to Feel (IC: Without you...), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "She remembering coming home from a date with Tom, both her parents were waiting for her which was never a good sign. Thats when she found out Amy was killed in car crash, now here she was four days later just home from the funeral."


• The Hole (IC: Without you...), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Without looking up, Daria could picture her mother's mouth pressed into a firm line and her arms crossed over her chest. 'And we're going to help him relieve his stress by going on a camping trip like we used to, well, long ago.' Daria continued reading her book. 'I wish you the best of luck. Tell me how it went when you get back.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 4: Cafe Dispossessedo, by RX-87 (part 6): "'We have to do what?' Jane blurted out, incredulously. 'That's right, Jane!' O'Neill beamed, oblivious to her averse reaction to the news. 'The charges are being dropped and starting tomorrow you two will be working at alt.lawndale.com! I arranged it all with the owner, Mr. Salaam. It was easy, since we know each other from the Interfaith Council. He's the head of the local Muslim Businessmen's Association, you know.'"


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 10): "'Rub your feet when we get home?' 'You're on, mister. Here's hoping we don't have any last minute visitors.' John sighed. 'I wish you hadn't said that.' 'Superstitious?' Daria said. The door opened and a woman entered. John looked up and said, 'Mom?'"


• The Last Lady Standing (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Jane...' 'Daria...' 'I’ll let you leave alive if you just go now.' 'No can do Amiga; he was my boyfriend.' 'You know that means nothing during the mating season.'"


• Last Man Standing (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by JoeMerl (part 1): "Upchuck blew the whistle, and the three leapt forward to attack! Slap slap slap! 'Ow! Ooh!' 'Hey! You're hitting too hard!' 'Agh!' Each boy was using one hand to slap at each of the others, while at the same time trying to deflect their blows with a slap of their own. The result was...less than impressive."


• My New Life, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "'Who's the lucky guy ? Mack again ?' 'No it's not Mack. He is a new guy who moved here from Texas two days ago . His name is Darius .' 'And how did you meet him?' Ok, here comes the difficult part, thought Jane ; to tell her brother what had happened the day before." (Part 3)


• Never Judge a Book (IC: Without you...), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgandorffer was something of an enigma to the Fashion Club. While the girl was pretty cute, she really put no real effort into her appearance. Usually the girl wore a old tan jacket with a small pendant, but looking at what her family drove and their house, it seemed ridiculous to think that she couldn't afford any nicer clothes."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 4, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Tonight was the night for the big dance. It was all over the school that day and the Fashion Club, as well as the rest of the Senior Class was more than thrilled about it [except Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, all of which didn't get to go of their girl of choice]." (Part 3) (Part 3.5) (Part 4)


• Scrunchie (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): "The team bus was listing sharply to one side and I managed to turn my head to see the large pine tree that had prevented it from flipping all the way over. Several of the thick lower branches had pierced through the bus' windows."


• Swordfighting (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jamie watched intently as he waited for Quinn to give the thumbs up (sparing Joey and Jeffy's life), or the thumbs down (which would seal their fate)."


• Unnamed story (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Mack, looking hot and sinister in jet-black leather, held his pistol steady as he aimed at his final competitor. 'Sorry to stop you in your tracks, rich boy,' he said, 'but Daria's in the mood for a Big Mack attack.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'This the end Jeffry, I'm going to rip yout apart and then Quinn will be all mine!' Joey screamed pounding his sword on his shield. 'Not if I impale you first!' yelled Jamie holding up his spear."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn of Hearts), by Grifter74 (COMPLETE!): ""You're serious about being a doctor?" Daria asked. 'I hate to burst your bubble, but that's a lot of school, before you even start at a hospital.' 'You're the smartest person I know, can't you help? Isn't there some trick to make understanding this easier?' Quinn begged as she waved the book at Daria."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Quinn answeres the door. Two men are standing there, one about Quinn's age, the other obviously the father."


• The Unusual Suitor (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "'Three... two... one... FIGHT!' came Matilda’s voice over the PA. The crowd went silent, waiting in anticipation of the first shot. They didn’t have to wait long. Upchuck popped his head above the rocks, and quickly ducked back down as a shot rang out."


• X-men: Daria’s Evolution, by Reven384 (part 3): "'Some of you don’t have anywhere else to go. Some of you do. I’d like to extend the offer to join the X-men. We can provide you a safe haven to learn how to use your powers,' Scott said."

Two Anniversaries and Two Controversial People

Today is the 53rd anniversary of Michael Jackson's birth. The late pop star was born on this day in 1958, and for better or worse he made a huge impact on the world. A few fans have done Daria fanart related to Jackson, including breitasparrow's Thriller Bowl and Elryd's Michael Jackson Mackenzie.

Also on this day, the Admonisher published his essay A Rant About "Evil" Tom in 2000. It's a bit strongly worded, but definitely worth a look--whatever your feelings about the character may be.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 5): "'Um, Mom? While normally I would stand back and let Quinn sleep in the bed she made, it sounds like you're changing rules midstream, and that doesn't bode well for me. I thought the decision to use our college funds for extra cash, up to a point, was ours, and you weren't going to stop us from doing stupid things with it. But here you are, tying the release of those funds to grades.' She narrowed her eyes at her mother. 'What gives?'"


• Bathroom Habits (Iron Chef: Mrs. Li's Trash freakout), by Ardneh (COMPLETE!): "'Now then,' Ms. Li began. Reaching into her desk, Ms. Li pulled out a sealed clear bag containing what appears to be a plastic stick. 'The honor of Lawwwnnndale high is in jeopardy. This pregnancy test was found in the restroom, this morning. The test results are undetermined, because the display has faded. You six were the only girls observed entering the restroom during the time it could have been left there. I want to know who's it is,' Ms. Li demanded."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 10): "The next morning, both young women were awakened by the alarm. Daria was somewhat confused by her current attire. She did not recall getting undressed for bed. 'Yeah, well, you were dead to the world when I woke up, so I took care of that for you. If you're a good girl, I'l tell you whose name was on your lips as I wrestled with that damned bra you were wearing. If you're a bad girl, I'll tell everyone!'"


• Devil's Spawn (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'But Elsie...' 'No, you are not my father! You left me when I was just a kid, and don't feed my that bull about Dad, because you know he didn't care if you stayed! Admit it, you where just to busy for me!'"


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 10): "Barch: 'There's that patented war cheer, O'Neill! You know what that means!' O'Neill: 'That means it's Taylor Made time! Her trademark spinning neckbreaker has put away many a foe, and it could put away Cullen tonight!' Barch: 'She's stalking... stalking... she's got her! This is it!' O'Neill: 'Taylor, about to take Cullen for the ride... and there it is! Taylor Made! Cullen could be out cold!' Barch: 'Cover her, Brittany! This will put Team LFC level again!'"


• Ghost Girl chapter four, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 5 and 6): "'It's fine Mrs. Morgendorffer. I'm here from Fielding Preparatory Academy for Boys made coeducational Circa 1972.' The woman smiled 'Both of your daughters are being invited to attend on full government scholarships.' Helen put her hand on her chest and leaned back in her seat in wide eyed shock, 'Oh my!' She looked at the woman quizzically 'Quinn too?' she asked. She knew the reputation of Fielding. It was one of the most prestigious schools in the country. You couldn't even just apply to go there you had to be invited and they only took the best and the brightest. Daria they might accept on grades alone if they ignored her off-putting personality, but to have Quinn invited as well was suspicious." (Part 6)


• God Save The Esteem Ep34: Tom's Addition, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Okay,' said Daria, leaving the Ten to sort it out themselves. 'Quinn. Let’s talk about this like civilised people.' 'But I gotta beat Tom up, damn it! And...' 'Astrid,' said Astrid. 'Yeah, her! She’s cheating on you, I mean he’s cheating on you with her, I mean her, I mean Daria being civilised gives me a headache!!'"


• Long Cold Season (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by LadieT: "'You could have kissed any one else - but no Tom you had to kiss her and hell Jane, you must have wanted it pretty bad too considering you kissed him back. My first best friend and my first boyfriend - well, I can assure you - you sure as hell will be my last of both,' They could feel the ice from her words in the air and it chilled them both to the bone. Daria then started to walk away, leaving Jane and Tom to stare at each other."


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn went up to the stage. 'Why Geeks can be popular, a general rebuttal of the previous speech. Good Evening, Students of Lawndale High, and Lawndale and Glenfield Middle Schools. Some shallow and yet popular students may take umbrage at Geeks being popular for what may seem to be petty reasons. Why do they do this, you may ask...'"


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 46): "'Hi, I'm Nancy, and this is my friend Roberta.' Nancy stood up and put her hand out to Jane, who took it warily. 'I haven't seen you around.' 'My name's Jane, I'm not a student here. I'm just visiting Daria for the weekend. So how do you know her?' 'Daria attended our Bible talk a few weeks ago,' Roberta said, grinning broadly. Jane smirked. 'Oh really? Lemme get my tray.'"


• Rio Grizzly, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Then...then why did you recoil when I kissed you? Are you gay?' Amelia then looked briefly mortified. 'Uh, I mean, it's okay if you're gay, I just...' Darius shook his head. 'No, I'm not gay. I, uh...I'm not gay.' 'Then why don't you want to kiss me?' Darius opened his mouth, but for once was unable to come up with a good answer."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Amelia cringed in terror: 'B-but that would mean...' A cold smoldering cryogenic fog emanated from Daria and swirled, glittering though the air, as She shook her head and tried to explain it to Her priestess more simply: 'No,No, Amelia. I said get a life, not take one.'"


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 10): "Daria parked her car and looked over. 'We're here.' Michael said, 'We finally leave the house and you bring me to the marina an hour before dark?' 'I have a cunning plan.' 'A cunning plan, huh?' 'Walk,' Daria said. 'Yes, ma'am.'"


• Tom's Immortal (IC: Tom has a Soul), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Tom stood over the weakened body of Trent as he raised his sword. As he held it over his own head in both hands, he looked into the other man's eyes one last time."


• An Unexpected Gift (Iron Chef: Repaid), by HeirOfNorton (COMPLETE!): "'Excuse me. It's Daria, isn't it?' Daria almost jumped straight out of her skin when she heard the question behind her. She turned around, and found herself face-to-face with the man of her dreams. It took her a moment to process what he said, and another moment before she could stutter out, 'Yeah, I mean yes, I'm Daria.'"


• Unforgivable (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Something in Daria snapped, she walked out of the bathroom and past Quinn; who looked at her with a worrisome expression that Daria didn’t notice. When she returned to the bathroom she was carrying a baseball bat; she must have found it in the garage somewhere, but why‘d she take it. She stared at her reflection. 'Cold...' Daria smashed the mirror as Quinn rush in horrified. 'Daria!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Dear Jane, I know I never said it, but I love you. God, I hate how fucking cliché that sounds. I also hate you. All the attempts I’ve made to reconcile these two emotions have managed to destroy any sanity I may have had."


• What Ever Happened To Young Elsie? (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by breitasparrow: "Elsie came upstairs to his room a little later than usual with his breakfast. Tom headed to the table where he usually ate his meals, then turned to face her. 'Good morning,' he said. 'Did you have a nice drive?' 'What are you talking about?' Elsie asked defensively."

It's World Television Day. Hooray.

Today is World Television Day, a pseudo-holiday every bit as stupid as it sounds. Are we supposed to watch it to celebrate? Imagine what this kid is like at Holiday Island High.

Speaking of television, this is also the 72st birthday of actress Marlo Thomas, who starred in the TV series That Girl 40 years ago. At right is Andrea as Ms. Thomas's That Girl character (Anne Marie) in an early MTV alter ego.

Many of the events detailed in part two of "Nine-Eleven and Counting" took place eight years ago, starting today. It was also about this date that Daria received a unique present from her sister Quinn in another tale. Daria's birthday is today according to yet still another fandom mythology, and still yet another. This is the last day this year that Daria's birthday can possibly occur, if she is a Scorpio.

Speaking of lame pseudo-holidays, this is also World Hello Day, Daria Morgendorffer is of course ready to welcome one and all. On the good nerdy side of the holiday spectrum, this is artist René Magritte's 111th birthday anniversary (he is mentioned in only one Daria fanfic), Voltaire's 315th birthday anniversary (he's mentioned in four Daria fanfics), and the 29th year since the infamous Lake Peigneur eco-disaster in Louisiana, which was actually pretty weird and almost funny. In the U.S.A., it's National Adoption Day. Did you ever wonder if Daria was... you know... adopted by space aliens disguised as humans?

An interesting essay by CINCGREEN, "Daria, Batman, Darth Vader and the Braves," is at the author's Fortress.

PPMB

• Balletdictorian, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "...and we didn't do any fancy stuff or anything! We just stood in front of the mirror barefoot and did a bunch of dumb stretches!" It was dinnertime, and Jodie had had all day to build up a long list of complaints. Unfortunately, she was reciting them to herself. Her mother, Michelle, was reading the Wall Street Journal in between bites of dinner. Andrew was feeding Rachel. Neither had heard a word she'd said.
• Falling into College 71: Merging Goals, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Remember how you wanted to get in on the IPO at that dot-com company?" "Yeah," Jake grumbled. "I was a month too late for the stock options." "Look at what those stocks are worth, now." "Buzzdome went belly-up two years ago." "Exactly, the stocks are worthless. What Jodie is offering is payment up front, not empty promises."
• Living Legends, by Trscroggs (EVEN MORE COMPLETE!): “Recently my cover identity had the chance to read a piece of spy-thriller parody by one of the other students.” Blue locked eyes with Pointman as she continued. “The actions of the main character were almost a one-to-one match with the events of the Morocco mission.”
• Shield Maiden, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): “Three for evac, Roger.” Andrea scanned the dusty Iraqi town for the telltale green smoke. Soon, she spotted it rising from a small square. “Visual on green smoke. Landing in thirty seconds. Over.” “Thirty seconds, Roger. We’ll try to keep their heads down, but expect small arms fire. Over.”

An August Moment

It's sunny August, named for the first Roman emperor, Caesar Augustus. A good many Daria fanfics were either written at this time or take place at this time in the past. For example, "Smoking Mirror" takes place in August 2001 for the most part, and "Lawndale Arrival" was written one year ago this month. August figures in canon, too: Helen and Jake spent a night in jail in Boulder, Colorado, in August 1969 ("That Was Then, This Is Dumb"), and Tom Sloane and his family spend August with their Aunt Mildred at The Cove (Is It Fall Yet?). August was also when the last episodes of Daria in each season often appeared. The first Jeep, the vehicle that Kevin Thompson prefers, rolled off the assembly line 67 years ago today.

And August 1st is the birthday of MTV, which gave us Daria in the first place. Happy 27th birthday, MTV. You don't look a day over . . . mmm, whatever.

Where have all the Daria essays gone? A new page on DariaWiki offers some possible answers.


PPMB

• The Other Side of Time: The Nightmare Never Really Leaves, by The Sidhe (continued): Rawlings's face grew slightly more haunted. “I saw some things in my time on the Frontier that do scar a man.”
  
• A Simple Makeup Kit, by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): "An excellent choice," the cashier told Daria. "You know your makeup, honey."
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 28): “Look, Kevin, I need to get back to the ritual, otherwise the gods will be angry at me and I’ll face eternal damnation.” (SFMB version)
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser: Oh, so that explains the squirrel-insanity link . . . sort of.

Daria vs. Bush/Cheney, Basements, Trivia

In the eternal argument over the exact nature of Daria's political persuasion, one interesting bit of evidence is the essay, "Ms. Softie," from the MTV website. The first sentence is nothing if not a slam against Bush. The other essays in "The World According to Daria" are also interesting in that they apparently show that the Morgendorffer home has a basement (two different references) and Daria is still being sarcastic after 9/11.

IMHO, though, Daria comes off less well in her essays than on the show. Some of her writings are downright annoying, and that countdown thing she does gets old quickly. Still, there is a lot of material here for fanfic generation, plus loads of trivia (e.g., Daria's blood type is 0+).