Saturday, November 30, 2019

It Was a Good Day for Humorists!

Daria's getting into the spirit (in a matter of speaking) because today's the anniversary of Mark Twain's (a.k.a Samuel Clemens's) birth in 1835! She was a fan of his work, including Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, but it's still open for debate whether or not he was responsible for creating Huckleberry Hound.

Speaking of famous satirists, today is also the anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667. Swift was known for his story Gulliver's Travels and his essay A Modest Proposal, the latter of which advocated for eating babies. Satirically, of course, but don't tell that last part to the Fashion Club. I'd love to see their reactions.

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Thursday, November 28, 2019

A Day For Screwed-up Family Problems and Getting Depressed By the End of the Day

Looks like the Morgendorffers have gone for a fully traditional pilgrim Thanksgiving, unless Quinn just pissed Daria off once too many. For fans in the United States, have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your tryptophan coma! In the meantime, enjoy this list of Thanksgiving-themed Daria fanfics and feel free to add any I've missed in the comments. Fanfic Update!
  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (COMPLETE!): "Dear Diary, I always did want to start one of those online blogs but restoring the internet to Lawndale is taking a bit longer than expected. So until then, this will have to do."

  • Gummy Bears (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was a bright and sunny day in the magic woods."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 175): "Elsie was never happy about the bread. For the last few weeks, she and Julie Regan had been having brunch at Italian Labs, a new bistro that had opened in Swedesville. The excuse Elsie had was that she had wanted to learn to cook."

  • Sandi's Wonderful Life (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn, Stacy, Lindy and Sandi are seated at the kitchen table working on decorations for an upcoming Christmas party. Quinn, Stacy and Lindy are visibly happy while Sandi looks miserable. Quinn: 'Thanks for helping me set up for my Christmas Eve party.'"

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Piece of Cake!

For once, Quinn and I are in agreement about celebrating National Cake Day. I don't know how she managed to bake and frost an entire cake without breaking a nail or burning down the kitchen, but I never turn down free chocolate cake.

Today is also Shopping Reminder Day, so Quinn had better put down the cake and get to Cashman's right away! Just set the cake down right here next to me. I'll take good care of it, I promise.

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Sunday, November 24, 2019

"Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys!"

The Three Js have gotten a little too excited about All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day, which honors the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species on this day in 1859. I don't know if those boys have any nieces or nephews, but anyone who has seen them fighting over Quinn would say the monkey comparison is accurate.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'What am I being arrested for?' asked Amy as a stocky black woman in a bailiff uniform led her into the holding cell. 'Ain't it obvious, honey?' The stocky black woman gestured at Amy slink black sequined dress."

  • Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jim and Elsie were in the waiting area. As they waited for word on Vito's condition Elsie paced nervously while Jim had his eyes glued to the TV set."

  • Counting the Days (Daria and the Gang), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "' order to maximize your mental power, you must start from the great buildings are built brick by brick, beam by beam, board by board, girder by girder and ingot by ingot, in order to tap the full powers of the human mind, you must build a foundation. The first part of this foundation involves the division of time and the working units of time. The methods I will teach you are simply the conclusion of the physical training which you have completed if you are listening to this tape - '"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "'I say, Daria, what are you doing here?' he said. Daria was almost equally surprised. 'Cuthbert?' she said. 'Is that you?'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 18): "'Just a minute,' Jane opened the Lane door to see a disgruntled Tom on the other side. 'Tom, hi.' 'I didn't have anywhere else to go.' He spoke in stilted tones. Jane groaned on the inside."

  • Something that Mr. O'Neill Doesn't Like (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Damn spiders!' Timothy O'Neill snapped as he smashed another one with a rolled up newspaper. 'It's the second one of the day.'"

Friday, November 22, 2019

Crunch Munch Nuts!

Jake's eager to celebrate National Cashew Day with his favorite nut, because "those are what the big guys eat!" Pick up a bag yourself from It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World and be sure to say hi to Daria while you're there. Assuming she isn't hiding in the back room.

Also on this day, "Her, Uh, Cane" by paperpusher was posted on It's the earliest story on the Daria list, dated all the way back to 1998. How time flies!

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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

No, Brittany, That's Not How Perspective Works, Either

Either Brittany is trying out a weird new cheerleading move or she's gotten a little too into Absurdity Day. She really needn't try so hard, though. Daria can confirm that any time spent conversing with Brittany feels like an exercise in absurdity.

This is also Universal Children's Day, but don't expect Daria to celebrate. Remember: "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid."

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "Daria got permission to call home and tell her parents that she was still all right. She decided she'd use one of the auditorium building's side rooms if there was one unlocked and available. She'd call Dad; Mom was likely to be tied up conferring with clients, other lawyers, or tied up in court."

  • Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A large group was assembled in the ballroom. The estate of the late Mad Cow Killer was recently auctioned off. The home and Dyson Beef were both now under new management. The new owner has just moved in to the house and this is his house warming party. The newest resident appears at the top of the dual stairs to welcome everyone. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 17 and 18): "Jake flinched. He then placed his hands on the arm rests of his seat and took two deep breaths. 'Hi—Ed,' he said." (Part 18)

  • Doctor Who – An Ordinary Wednesday, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Oswald,' Angie began. Miss Oswald interrupted her. 'I have said that you can call me Clara.'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 17): "'I've gotten my applications filled out and sent in.' Daria answered Tom's reclining position."

  • The lattest shitty fanfic in the sences no daria fanfic should have thread (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So like, my sister is a snarky bitch who thinks she has all the answers. It's why I prefer to pretend that she's my cousin, distant cousin, who has no fashion sense and is living with us because her parents biffed it in a car crash.'"

  • Scenes, by JPAGC (part 4.2): "After exiting the elevator at the correct floor, Daria and Jane proceeded along the white corridors. Jane followed her friend, who navigated along the corridors without hesitation, passing obvious fellow visitors without stopping."

  • Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 6): "Daria, Jane, Adrian, and Andrea are in her room. 'Daria, this has got to be the coolest room.' Andrea pokes at the padding. 'I'm jealous.'"

Monday, November 18, 2019

As Least Black is Slenderizing

Tiffany's digging into the deeper, darker mysteries of life for Occult Day. Such mysteries include why horizontal stripes make your butt look big, how shiny objects became shiny, and how to spell her own name. Good luck on your own search for answers!

Today is also National Vichyssoise Day, so Quinn will probably visit Chez Pierre for some cold soup. Of course, anyone who wants authentic French food should go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Mmmm, Cholesterol....

Daria and Jane are way ahead of us for National Fast Food Day. The Fashion Club will pass on eating any of that greasy food, but if we're (un)lucky then Quinn might favor us with a dramatic reading of her poem "The Greasy Fry." For a hilarious fanart take on the Fashion Club's hypothetical adventures with fast food, see S-C's brilliant Burger World.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Daria and Dusty returned to the command post shortly afterwards. She didn't see Captain Clueless. She would have dearly loved to see him gone, but with her luck, she suspected that he'd gone to the bathroom or reporting to Justice Department higher-ups."

  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 8): "'Well, I think you look adorable.' Mrs. Bennet was saying to Clarissa as they crossed the parking lot of the Zen. 'I look like a dork!' Clarissa countered."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 16): "Daria shifted her backpack to a more comfortable position before taking a breath and heading down the road to take the long walk home from the library."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The small starship was in trouble. It had defeated the other ship, but it was out of control, entering the atmosphere of an M-Class planet at a rather steep angle. The crash landing was going to be terrible."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S8 - S11): "The Dalheim Studentbolig had all the amenities of a Fielding dorm, which is to say, no amenities at all. However, there were some important differences." (Part S9) (Part S10) (Part S11)

  • Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Kevin, Mack, Jim, Chuck, Tony, Rev. Li, Chan and the guy with too much jewelry are seated at a conference table. At the head of the table sits a skinny red haired man in a business suit with a laptop." (Part 3)

Thursday, November 14, 2019

That's a New Way to Bring Glory to Laaaawndale High!

I see that Ms. Li wasn't kidding about that brief career as a dancer, but who knew she was also a Louise Brooks impersonator for Brooks's birthday? Of course, anyone who's seen pictures of the late actress/dancer knows that Jane's the one she looks the most like.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and I really hope Mrs. Johannsen takes the following advice seriously:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Pizza and Books? Yes Please!

Ted's having a lovely National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day, but he's clearly stunned to find out that some people actually put fish on pizza. Wait until he hears about the pineapple controversy.

Today is also Young Readers Day, and while Daria fandom is more young at heart than physically youthful, I know we have more than the usual share of readers. Crack open a book and have some milk and cookies, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 7): "'Jesse, you CANNOT wear that!' Jane stated. 'Why?' he asked. 'Because.... It's indecent!' Jane couldn't believe he didn't realize that. Oh wait, she could."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S4 - S7): "'It is time to pour the holy libation!' Larry 'Gambler' Harris and Francis 'Fitz' Pennington III were entrusted with the sacred oils, in this case a mixture of baby oil and canola." (Part S5) (Part S6) (Part S7)

  • Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "It's Thanksgiving and Jim and Kevin are standing in the driveway enjoying the cool November air. 'I love Thanksgiving,' said Kevin, 'You get to, like, totally stuff your face then burp and poop all you want. It's awesome.'"

  • Nun Too Holy, by 90eyes (COMPLETE!): "Jake couldn't help but chuckle at what he was seeing. Quinn of all people had started walking around, completely dressed up in a nun's habit, for some reason."

  • RelaTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Ted let the front door shut behind him as he walked out of the house. The fresh air felt nice and the setting sun was lovely. Even better, from outside he couldn't hear the agonized groaning of his father."

Sunday, November 10, 2019


Sandi's showing off her new haircut in time for the anniversary of the United States Marine Corps, which was established on this day in 1775. For anyone who thinks there's no possible connection between military action and fashion, well, you've never seen Sandi and Quinn fight over a blouse at Cashman's.

On a lighter note, today is also the anniversary of the TV show Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. For an absolutely charming fanfic take on the show, see Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria."

Fandom News!

Friday, November 8, 2019

Anyone See a Herd of Beautiful Wild Ponies Running Free Across the Plains?

Daria's old school psychologist is wishing a happy birthday to Hermann Rorschach, born on this day in 1884. Rorschach is the creator of the inkblot test Daria took as a child, and later referenced in "Esteemsters." I'm not sure what he'd think of Ms. Manson's methods, but I suspect he wouldn't be a fan.

Today is also the anniversary of the births of Margaret Mitchell in 1900 and Brad--I mean, Bram Stoker in 1847. Both author's most famous works, Gone With the Wind and Dracula, were mentioned on Daria at various times.

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 24): "That evening, during dinner, Quinn told parents about the discussion she, Daniel and the fashion club had."

  • Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'OK, we did it.' said Daria to Jane, her lab partner. 'We combined my DNA with yours, struck it with lightning because apparently electricity can do any random thing, and we have created life. What she we call it?'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 31): "'Now you go and find us somewhere to sit.' Erin carefully weaved her way to where Trevor sat on a patch of grass near the string quartet. After distributing coffee, she sat leaning against his shoulder."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S1 - S3): "Clayton Arbusto could hear the crunch of the grass underneath his boots as he walked under a sky the color of dead skin. He loved the place, loved the toughness that one needed to endure it but many times he felt like an explorer on the Planet of Texas, his own mind the worst of his companions." (Part S2) (Part S3)

  • Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Lindy and Lauren are in an office. Realizing that she needs an edge Lindy is turning to a sponsor. For expediency's sake she's turning to in laws, specifically Chris and Jim's uncle Vito." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (part 2): "Jane had been looking forward to her stay in Metropolis. The restaurants and the art museums were all as great as Cousin Lois said they were."

  • Winter Is Coming: A Daria/GoT Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "The doorbell rang. Daria wondered if the pizza delivery guy had come by and went to open the door. She opened it and Grandma Ruth was standing on the doorstep."

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Four Score and Seven Goths Ago

Andrea is celebrating, albeit in a very stoic style, the election of Abraham Lincoln as president of the United States. I guess it's hard to feel celebratory when the personification of your holiday is a complete douchebag. Not to mention having to share a holiday with George Washington.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 4, 2019

Walk Like an Egyptian!

Either Mr. O'Neill knows that today is King Tut Day, the anniversary of the opening of King Tut's tomb in 1922, or he and Ms. Barch are into some really weird stuff. I hope it's the first one. Jake's still staring at that cereal box, trying to work out whether or not Tut was buried without his diver.

Today is also National Candy Day, so dig into that leftover Halloween candy stash! Daria and Jane might make another wager about the comparative quantity of ZooZoo Drops versus Juicy Joes.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Daria resumed, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. A couple of state troopers walking in escorting a shackled prisoner in a Texas Department of Corrections prison uniform."

  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 6): "It was the evening of the charity ball. A crystal chandelier reflected a thousand glistening lights on the gold toned walls of the Waldorf-Astoria ballroom. Melody adjusted the telescopic vision on the Venetian mask she was wearing. She had to find the Ambassador to Elbonia before..."

  • Eat your heart out, by wheresthequeef (COMPLETE!): "Jane placed the baby pink cake on the kitchen table, the small sound it made bouncing off the linoleum. 'Ta-Da!'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 15): "'So Brittany is paying you to make her smart?' Jane questioned Daria once Daria had told her about Brittany's visit."

  • Fear Leads To Anger (Iron Chef - Halloween), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "She was on her own. Home alone. Mummy and Daddy should have been there but they weren't."

  • Fire Rescue For Fashion Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'Nine One One, what's your emergency?'"

  • Lawndale High: The Next Generation - season 1, by Peridaniel (part 5): "Philip dispassionately stared at the dessert section of the lunch line as he walked past it. Lime-green gelatin, vaguely ghost-shaped marshmallow treats, and cupcakes piled with too much orange frosting and a piece of candy corn in the center stared back at him."

  • Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Lindy is seated at the head of a large table. The others seated there were her husband, Chris, her infant son, Jason, Chris's brother, Jim, and Jim's wife, Quinn, as well as there seven year old triplet sons, Tommy, Timmy and Teddy."

  • My Pres Friend (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria waited patiently in McVicker's office for him to come in and start chewing her out. She had been a part of the assembly where she was one of the few hand-picked to ask President Clinton a question -- hers was about college, but finished with asking if he was just jerking around with the collective youth of America."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Daria came to moaning. That groggy feeling would not go away. It felt like all the blood was rushing to her head. Her vision was blurred. She didn't have her glasses."

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Gimme a B! Gimme a O! Gimme a O! Gimme a K!

The Lawndale High cheerleaders are shocked to find out that cheerleading officially began on this day in 1898. That's right, cheerleading is old! Gasp! Horror!

For those not inclined toward cheering for athletes, today is also Book Lovers Day. I suspect most of Daria fandom will be celebrating this one, not to mention Daria herself.

Fandom News!